"So, Bella," Carlisle started, since it seemed no one else was going to, "Why don't you introduce yourself? Again, I mean, perhaps with the full story this time."

They were all seated in the living room and the atmosphere could not be any more unwelcoming or tense. Bella was seated on one side of the room, with Carlisle in the chair next to hers, and the rest of the family was on the other side, with Rosalie and Emmett having taken the sofa and everyone else standing behind it.

Bella, however, didn't seem to mind as she was still making her way through all thirty-six of the chocolate chip cookies Esme had just baked. Esme had assured Bella that there were several dozen more in the oven right now.

It hadn't felt so much like a gift or playing hostess as a sacrificial offering to keep Bella at bay.

Whether Bella noticed this was unclear, she did, however, appear to be enjoying the cookies.

Much to Edward and Rosalie's mutual and very visible disgust.

"Right," Bella said, pausing inhaling her cookie for a moment to glance at the sofa, "Hi, I'm Bella, and my body was hijacked by an alien ages ago. We also do birthday parties and bar mitzvahs. Carlisle tells me that you people are vampires."

Bella resumed eating cookies.

"Thank you, Bella, but—you don't have any more details?" Carlisle asked.

"What's to tell?" Bella asked between bites of cookie, "Girl meets fish, fish meets girl, fish tries to eat girl, girl and fish combine into—girl. Probably."

Well, when she put it like that—

Why did he have the feeling that, in his place, Bella would summarize being turned into a vampire as "Man chases vampire, vampire eats mob and man, man wakes up in potatoes turned into a demon, tries to kill himself a few times, then eats deer"?

It was all technically true but—well, now he just felt overdramatic. Or, perhaps Bella was underdramatic, something was clearly wrong with one of them here.

"Right," Carlisle said instead, then looking at his family, "Any questions?"

They just stared.

Except for Bella, who was still eating.

Finally, Emmett seemed to find his tongue, "So you're—an alien."

"Uh huh," Bella responded.

"Like one of those little green men from Roswell?"

"Not little or green," Bella said, "And still have my meat suit and my human brain—somewhere in there, we think. I still understand the appeal of boy bands. That's a very human quality, you know."

"Like Backstreet Boys?" Emmett pressed.

"More into N Sync these days," Bella corrected, "Or the Spice Girls, oh, love the Spice Girls."

Rosalie, slowly, turned to look at Carlisle. She didn't say it aloud, for once, but 'Carlisle, what is this?' was written all over her face.

"I met Bella the other day, quickly realized she was—well, not entirely human, and I thought we should all meet if only to go over things that Bella really needs to know," he explained, though by the looks on their faces, his family wasn't liking this explanation either.

It did, however, catch Bella's attention, "What things I need to know?"

Right, he hadn't gotten that far with her, had he? He'd been so focused on getting his family to meet with Bella that there were things he'd failed to mention in their Dairy Queen outings.

"Well, I suppose there's no time like the present," Carlisle said, "But, ah, there are many vampires in the world, it's not just me and my family. But the reason you don't see us walking about in daylight is—"

"Because you sleep in coffins," Bella supplied for him.

"No," Carlisle said, "We actually don't sleep."

"Because you burn in sunlight," Bella corrected.

"No, we don't do that either," Carlisle said, "We actually don't do most of what you think vampires do, aside from the blood drinking. We certainly do that. No, what I was trying to say is that there's a reason we try to blend into human society."

"Because you're hippies. You're like the Grizzly Man who wants to live in the animal's natural environment," Bella guessed.

"What? No, no—I mean—" damn her, there was something to that given that most vampires did not blend into human society at all and had no need to, "We have—law enforcement, or something close to it, that ensures that we keep vampirism a secret from humans."

"Oh," Bella said, stuffing another cookie into her mouth, "Sounds weird. Just—because?"

"No, no, there's a very long history and—it's not important right now," Carlisle said, because the reason behind the law really was a very long story that even his family hadn't come to grasp fully at times, "The important thing is that we have to pretend to be human and you do too."

"But I do—"

"Well, Bella, pretend to be human well" Carlisle corrected, "And you're doing a great job so far but you're still pretending to be Bella Swan. If you stop aging, if you keep in contact with your human family, someone will notice something's wrong, and you'll come under our law's penalties."

"But I'm not a vampire," Bella pointed out.

"Yes, well, our—law enforcement doesn't care so much about that. Courtesy of being not human, you're in the same boat as the rest of us."

"Oh," Bella said, and nothing else.

He couldn't blame her, that was a lot of information to receive at once, and not really what he'd wanted to get into here.

"And you also shouldn't go onto Quileute land," Carlisle said, "My family has a treaty with their people, not to cross into their territory, and—well, they didn't make a treaty with you and I don't know if they'd mind you eating their cats or taco meat, but it's best we just don't go there."

"You mean like Billy?" Bella asked, "He's like my dad's best friend, gave me a truck."

"Yes," Carlisle agreed with a wince, because he was sure that Billy Black would not like the idea of something not human wandering about on his land, especially if it was in the guise of his best friend's daughter.

"I can give you the exact locations," Carlisle said, "And—well, that's the important bits."

"Cool," Bella said, clearly for lack of anything better to say. Carlisle understood the feeling, he really did.

He turned back to his family, "Any, ah, other questions?"

"Carlisle," Edward said slowly, eyes moving from Bella then to Carlisle, "Can I talk to you?"

"Yes, certainly, but—does no one have questions for Bella?" Carlisle asked.

No one, it appeared, had questions for Bella.

Hesitantly, raising a hand, Esme asked quietly, "Will—ah—Bella be staying for dinner?"

"Breakfast," Bella corrected, "Think we blew right past dinner."

"Breakfast?" Esme corrected.

Edward answered for her and Carlisle, he turned first to give Esme a reassuring look then to glare at Bella, "No, no, Esme, no. Bella is not staying for dinner or for breakfast. She is going home, where she belongs, and we will—talk."

Bella just shrugged, likely figuring that this was a family discussion, and not one she had any business being involved in.

Bella stood, leaving the now empty plate of cookies on the coffee table, "Thanks Carlisle, it's been fun. Remember, next time, steakhouse."

"Yes, of course," Carlisle responded, standing to escort her out the front door, "You have my word on that, next time there will be steak."

And with that, Bella left with a single wave goodbye, and the door slammed behind her. They all waited in silence for the sound of Bella's footsteps to recede into the woods, until she was presumably out of earshot (whether she was or was not was anyone's guess, as Carlisle didn't know how her hearing and eyesight compared to theirs.)

Then Edward whirled on Carlisle, "Carlisle, what was that?"

"Bella Swan—plus one, an alien," Carlisle explained with a sigh, "And one who desperately needs our help."

"Needs our help?!" Rosalie balked, "Carlisle with—with what?"

"You've seen her," Carlisle said, motioning towards the door, "She's fine for now, but Bella Swan is supposed to age, to have a human life, and there's only so long she can keep pretending to be Bella Swan without someone noticing."

"You don't mean—" Edward gaped in horror, catching the drift of Carlisle's thoughts, "Carlisle, are you serious, you want her to live with us?"

Well, that was getting a bit ahead of things but—

"At the very least," Carlisle said, "I want her to have a good understanding of the law and a support network. She doesn't have to live with us, but she should know that we're there if she needs help."

"No, you mean for her to live with us," Edward said in horror, "You've meant it from the beginning. From before Jasper—"

"Yes," Carlisle said, "Yes, which is why you can all stop blaming him for—anything at all and blame me. He has nothing to do with it."

"Much appreciated, Carlisle," Jasper said dully, earning a glare from Alice towards both of them.

"No, Carlisle, don't you—" Edward stopped himself, then glanced at Alice, "Carlisle, Alice can't see her, I can't hear her thoughts, and she just comes in out of nowhere stronger than Emmett and—She is dangerous, Carlisle, and she is trying to infiltrate our family."

Infiltrate? Wasn't that a bit much, especially given that Bella Swan was doing anything but that. Everything she'd done had been at Carlisle's prompting alone. If it was up to her, she'd have never talked to any of them, even Edward who sat next to her.

"And yet here we are!" Edward said, motioning to their surroundings, "Carlisle, you invited her into our house! Jasper is taking her to the dance! Doesn't any of this strike you as odd?"

"I'm not sure I agree with Edward," Rosalie started, earning an annoyed and disbelieving look from Edward, "But I don't like her, and I did not agree to have her in our house let alone in the family. She seems to be doing just fine on her own, even if she is an—alien or whatever. She'll be fine. We can't help everybody."

Rosalie turned to Esme, giving her an imploring look, one that screamed 'say something'. Esme folded her hands together, looked uncomfortably away from Carlisle, and looking back, "Well, she ah—seems nice, but Carlisle, she does—smell."

"See?" Rosalie asked before Carlisle could say anything, "Nobody wants her here. It's good that you want to be nice, Carlisle, but she's fine."

"She's fine?" Carlisle gaped, "Rosalie, she's—she's not fine!"

"She's fine," Rosalie said, now making her way towards the garage, clearly done with this conversation, "Trust me, she has more friends at school than we do, and that's even after driving us from our lunch table. Look at her, Jasper's even taking her to Prom."

"Sadie Hawkins," Edward corrected bitterly.

"Oh, the way she's going, he'll be taking her to Prom too," Rosalie said as she disappeared into the garage and out of sight.

"I am not taking her to Prom," Jasper said nervously, glancing at Alice who was looking anywhere but at him, "I'm not—this is a one time thing! I promise! I'm not taking her to Prom!"

Alice just shook her head, not even listening, and took Edward's hand into hers. She and Edward walked out of the house, clearly drawing comfort from each other, while Edward glared over his shoulder at Carlisle. He looked utterly betrayed in that moment, but he didn't say a word.

Leaving Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, and Jasper just standing there.

"I took it easy on her," Emmett suddenly blurted.

They turned to look at him.

"That arm wrestling match, I mean—I thought she was just smelly, but human, so I took it easy on her. I lost on purpose. Next time, I'll win."

"Emmett," Carlisle sighed, thinking of his own battle with Bella, "You—she's much stronger than us, than all of us, you're not going to—"

"Yeah, well, I'm the strongest of all of us," Emmett said, "And I'm stronger than most vampires period, even off the diet."

Carlisle gaped at Emmett, he couldn't help himself.

No one had ever said that.

Carlisle certainly didn't remember telling Emmett as much.

"I'll win next time," Emmett assured them, "Even if she is from space."

"She's not from space," Carlisle said, "She's been—her body seems to be a host for something from space."

"Right, same difference," Emmett said.

He nodded to himself, reassured of his own strength, and grinned at Jasper, "You, me, wrestling outside in fifteen. Let's go, Jasper!"

With a whoop he then ran out of the house, letting out very masculine cries every few seconds as he did so, and would likely continue to do so until Jasper appeared to indulge him.

Slowly, Jasper trudged outside, looking as if it were to an execution instead of yet another wrestling match. Carlisle was sure his mind wouldn't be on the match but instead on Alice and what he could possibly say to reassure her.

Somehow—

Carlisle somehow felt he'd made it worse.

He turned to say something to Esme, anything, but she just gave him a tight smile.

"I'll—be in the kitchen," Esme said after a very long pause, then added, "Um, if you want to bring any baked goods to Bella—I can make goody bags. Yes, I'll make goody bags."

The kitchen door slammed shut behind her.

And then it was just Carlisle standing in the hallway.

Carlisle decided to give it a few weeks, to give everybody breathing room. Figuratively and literally, to give them time to think about the situation and perhaps get used to Bella's scent around school. Hopefully, so that next time was not so—

Awful.

Of course, this was easier said than done, given that Jasper did get replacements for Bella's dirty clothes every few days and Carlisle did still meet with her every few nights.

But, well, at least she hadn't visited the house.

That had to make some difference.

He hoped it made a difference.

Jasper's taking Bella to the dance was a quiet, mournful, affair.

He and his suit out of his closet disappeared within the blink of an eye, there were no photographs as they sometimes did before the school dances they chose to attend, no cheerful waving goodbye, no sound of a car even leaving the driveway.

The only reason Carlisle knew that it must be happening at all was that Alice's cheerful smile suddenly disappeared and she excused herself out of the house before anyone could ask.

Esme then retreated to the kitchen, Rosalie glared at Carlisle as if this were all his fault and he could still run out to stop Jasper, and then it was just Edward and Carlisle left in the sitting room on a Saturday evening.

Where he imagined they'd be for the next several hours until Jasper returned.

"I can't believe you're allowing this," Edward finally said.

"Allowing it?" Carlisle echoed, at first not sure what Edward meant, then he blanched, "Edward, Jasper is a grown man. If he wants to take Bella to a dance then he can do so, now, I might not do the same thing in his place but—"

But Carlisle didn't rely on Bella's clothes the way Jasper did.

"Carlisle, don't you—" Edward sighed, cut himself off, "No, no of course, you don't. What was I thinking?"

"Edward," Carlisle said, "This is between Alice and Jasper, they'll have to sort it out themselves."

"She's a menace," Edward grumbled, and at catching Carlisle's dubious look added, "And yes, I do mean that. She shows—a different face to you, Carlisle, remember I sit next to her every day."

"Do you speak with her?" Carlisle asked, knowing the answer was no, as Bella had confessed as much every time they met.

Bella—didn't seem to think one way or another about Edward, but Carlisle could say that Edward had done absolutely nothing to make any good impression on her whatsoever. He seemed, in fact, to be making a point not to.

None of his family, save for Esme and Jasper, had.

(Though he still didn't know what to make of Bella telling him that Edward had blatantly threatened her in class, telling her that he'd once spent years doing away with monsters and that destroying her would be easy.

He—hoped that Bella simply hadn't understood what he was getting at. That she'd taken some catty remark of Edward's that hadn't been menacing at all and mistaken it for a threat the same way she'd once mistaken Carlisle for a threat.

It wasn't anything he could ever see Edward saying.

No, Edward never willingly brought up those dark years on his own.)

Edward winced, "No, that's—that's not what happened." He gritted his teeth and his eyes flared as he looked over at Carlisle, "Dammit, Carlisle, she's doing it again! Right there, Carlisle, she's making us all doubt each other! She's trying to break us apart!"

"Break us apart?" Carlisle asked.

"The family," Edward said, "Look, she's inserting herself between Alice and Jasper and she knows they're together, everyone does. She's reaching out to you, personally, knowing that none of us will act against you. A good person, Carlisle, wouldn't do half of what she's done. It's as if she enjoys tormenting us."

That—did not seem in character for Bella Swan or her guest.

She was a very pragmatic but uncomplicated creature, Carlisle had found. Oh, if threatened, she could and would act against that threat, but there was no malice behind it and very little cunning either.

He would not have pegged her as someone or something that could engage in psychological warfare.

But he could see Edward didn't like the sound of those thoughts.

"Edward, what would you have us do?" he asked, "If you'll remember, I suggested leaving not too long ago, and you all said no."

"Yes," Edward said, "And we still haven't found who—"

He cut himself off suddenly, eyes growing large, face slack in sudden realization.

"What if it was her?" he breathed.

"What?" Carlisle asked.

Edward stood, motioned to the house even as he began pacing, "The house being set on fire, Bella arrived not long before, and I can't read her mind and Alice can't see her. What if it was her? And when it failed, she's—she'll—"

He stopped, feet mid step, then sighed. He moved back to his seat and flopped back into it, visibly deflating, "Nevermind, you won't believe me, I know you won't."

"Edward—" Carlisle started, desperate to get a word in, but Edward just shook his head.

"No, I know you think that everyone's a good person, and maybe you're right and she didn't do it but—I don't like it, Carlisle. Alice doesn't like it. Nobody likes it and I'm just worried this dance won't be the end of it. That you'll—invite her back over and try again, I know you've been thinking about it! Just—can you let it go, Carlisle?"

He had no idea what to say. He had no idea what to think. He just felt himself staring wide-eyed at Edward, trying to process what was even happening and what, exactly, he was even being condemned for.

Except that Edward wasn't wrong and that was exactly what Carlisle had been planning without, apparently, giving any thought to his family.

Edward sighed, "Give her your cell number if you have to, tell her about the law, that's fine, but—don't give her more access into our lives than she already has."

Carlisle—

It wasn't what he'd hoped but he supposed that wasn't unreasonable. Bella would at least know she could call, she could make her own way in the world, and perhaps she now would know enough to get by.

The others were right, she didn't have to join the family to survive, and if none of them wanted her here then it'd only make things terrible for all parties involved. While Rosalie and Edward had started off with a rocky relationship, that had been different, after turning her Rosalie had become Carlisle's responsibility and had nowhere else to go.

Carlisle hadn't turned Bella and never would.

He supposed that meant their paths could diverge.

Edward, however, smiled with relief, "Thank you, you're a good man but—I'm glad you see it our way, now."

Yes, and he supposed Edward imagined Carlisle would stop all contact with her. He hadn't asked for as much, but it'd been strongly implied. Though, Edward had never asked as much with any of Carlisle's other friends, his many friends who did not share his diet.

"They're different," Edward snorted, "They don't make themselves a nuisance."

A nuisance?

Was that all it was?

Edward had talked, first, like Bella Swan meant to destroy their family but now she was only a nuisance? Was that all it took for this kind of a reaction from his family?

"I didn't mean nuisance," Edward said, "I meant—Nevermind, just, yes I'd prefer you stop meeting up with her. I mean, Carlisle, think of how it looks! Think about Esme!"

Carlisle couldn't help but wonder to himself at how ridiculous this all was.

Did Edward really think he cared what anyone thought of him? His friends or acquaintances in town. His family knew exactly what he was up to, that it was all perfectly innocent in every way, and they were the only ones that really mattered. If the teenage Dairy Queen employee several towns over thought he was having an affair with a teenager then let him.

Honestly, it might make him a little more human, as he sometimes wondered if Dr. Carlisle Cullen wasn't a little too far removed with too few flaws given his adoption of several children with his stunning wife.

Carlisle shook his head, putting those thoughts out of mind before Edward could comment, and noted, "I tell Esme where—"

"I know," Edward interjected, "I know, and you would never, ever, cheat on her. But—Bella must know what that looks like, and she meets with you anyway. I'm just saying I don't like it."

Edward, sensing that lingering would only result in talking in circles, offered Carlisle a smile then disappeared presumably to find Alice.

Carlisle sat there, wondering if there was something he could have done differently.

Maybe—

One last time, the next time they played sports, maybe, he'd invite her one last time to give it a try and if it didn't go well then he'd tell her all she'd need and give her his contact information.

One last time, then that was it.

Author's Note: Thanks to Vinelle for betaing the chapter. Thanks to readers and reviewers, reviews are much appreciated.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight