Behind the Scenes - 8
A/N: Sorry for the gap in posting. Been busy, but I hope you enjoy this chapter! I am trying to hit the highlights of this 6 month gap between movie 1 and 2, so you may start to see some time jumps soon. Thanks for reading! :-)
The next morning, Trinity and Neo decided to spend the day with Tank and his family. Dozer's funeral was scheduled for that afternoon, and the guilt of not seeing Tank was beginning to eat away at Trinity yet again. They had invited him and Morpheus to a late breakfast in the dining facility for the crews of the various warships; a place where they would hopefully have more privacy as opposed to some of the other dining facilities for the general public.
Neo and Trinity arrived first and grabbed a table situated near the back of the room. They chatted idly, waiting to eat their meals until their crewmates arrived. They didn't have to wait long, because Morpheus arrived a few minutes later with Tank in tow. Tank had clearly seen better days. He was gaunt, pale, and his face had a waxy sort of complexion Trinity had not seen on him before. In fact, she hadn't seen anyone look like that unless they were already dead. Her stomach clenched at the sight of him and her heart began to race. She didn't know if it was his grief or his healing wound that was causing him to look so unlike himself, and she was scared to ask.
Luckily, Neo didn't seem to notice. As soon as Morpheus and Tank sat down with their meals, Neo asked him how he was doing - a question on Trinity's tongue that she was too scared to ask. His tone was soft but clearly curious, as he was genuinely concerned. Tank just shrugged, but Neo pressed on. "How is your wound healing?"
Tank glanced once over at Morpheus before answering, "I think it's okay. The people in the clinic seem to think it'll heal if I keep putting this goop on it."
Neo nodded, relieved. "It was a gnarly wound. I'm glad they gave you a good prognosis, man."
Tank nodded. "Me too."
The group grew quiet before Morpheus broke the tension. "The services are at 4 this afternoon. Tank's family would be happy to have us over to visit beforehand. I think they are a bit intrigued to meet you, Neo. And of course, to see you again, Trinity."
She swallowed her food before nodding and saying, "It will be nice to see Zee again. I hear her new husband is settling in well, right Tank?"
Tank smiled softly. "Yeah, his name's Link. He's a pretty great guy. Normally no one is good enough for my sister but this guy's been around for a while now. We all like him. He's training to be an operator like me, actually. It's flattering." He grinned arrogantly and brushed imaginary lint off his shoulder, which made Neo laugh.
"That's good to know. Maybe he would be interested in joining our crew," Morpheus contemplated.
"Meh, perhaps when he is done training. Doubt my sister would let him though. She doesn't even like that he's in training to do it in the first place. She can be clingy like that." Tank shrugged and went back to eating his breakfast.
"I don't know, I can't say I blame her," Trinity countered. "After all, our jobs are clearly dangerous…" she trailed off.
Neo cleared his throat. "Yeah I mean, I wouldn't want anything happening to the one I loved either. I can't fathom what Cas is going through right now…" Trinity shot him a look that Neo pretended not to notice.
Tank nodded solemnly. "Yeah man, it's been hard on all of us, but he had kids you know. Telling them was probably the hardest part of all this. They don't really understand what's going on. They keep thinking he's gonna come back." He twisted his mouth wistfully before finishing his breakfast and setting aside his bowl. "I don't know what else to say to them."
Trinity shook her head. "There is nothing else you can say. They are just processing it."
"I hope so," Tank said.
"I'm looking forward to meeting the family," Neo said optimistically. He was trying to keep the tone light, knowing full well the pain they must be feeling right now. He hoped his and Trinity's visit would lighten their spirits even a little bit. He inwardly groaned, thinking guiltily to himself: They need to know Dozer didn't die for nothing. At least they found the One after all.
After a few more moments of idle chatting, it was time to head back upstairs to the more spacious apartments where families lived. They returned their dishes before leaving the dining facility. Tank led the way, followed by Morpheus, Trinity, and finally Neo.
Neo could hardly help himself - he stared hard at Trinity's backside the entire walk to the elevators. He felt like a complete tool, knowing what today was, but yesterday left him almost incapacitated with desire. They had made love once more later that day before falling asleep wrapped in each other's arms. He likened the experience to sipping great wine; the first sip was delicious and kept him wanting more, but the more he drank the drunker he felt. That is how it felt, loving Trinity. He realized before drifting off last night that he would never feel like he had enough of her.
Trinity must have had eyes in the back of her head. That, or she knew Neo way too well. Upon reaching the elevators, she turned and gave him a deathly stern glare. Not now, she seemed to be saying with her eyes alone. Neo's face reddened and he stifled a small smile. She couldn't help but stifle one too.
The ride up to the family suites wasn't as long as the ride up to their floor. Neo had yet to see this part of the city, but he could tell the apartments were bigger, as the doors were spaced much further apart. Soon they arrived and Tank welcomed them into Zee's apartment. She immediately gave him a hug as he entered. Neo couldn't really blame her. Even if Tank had only been gone an hour, she must be feeling that any separation right now was too much.
The next few hours were spent on Zee's couch, telling stories about Tank and Dozer. Trinity, especially, had many funny and touching memories to share, many of which Zee had never heard. She was enraptured, leaning forward so as not to miss a word of what Trinity had to say. Even Cas, who had arrived an hour after Tank and the others came, smiled at the charming stories Trinity and Morpheus shared about their time with Dozer.
A while later, Tank walked them out as it was time for them to head back to their rooms to change and prepare for the funeral services. He mentioned he hadn't seen Cas or Zee smile in days, and it was really nice for him to see that again. He mentioned that they were always welcome to come over and he knew how much his family enjoyed their visit.
Once back in their own apartment, Trinity slunk down onto the bed and put her head in her hands. Neo finally realized the stories and charm was all for show. She had been trying to give Dozer's family something positive to think about; something to distract them from the doom and gloom of the day.
"Hey… you okay?" Neo asked.
Trinity shrugged her shoulders, face still lying in her palms.
"Yeah, I know this isn't easy…" Neo said while sitting down next to her. He took one hand and started rubbing her back with slow, long strokes. She leaned into him, head resting on his shoulder.
"It's just hard seeing their grief. I miss Dozer too but not in the way they do."
Neo nodded, continuing to rub her back.
"Do you… want some distraction?" he murmured. Part of him felt that same guilt from earlier, knowing what today was, and the other part of him felt there was no harm in offering. She lifted her head, looking deep into his eyes. A moment of silence passed between them before she leaned in and kissed his lips softly.
"Yes, please. But we have to be quick. We're due downstairs in twenty minutes," she said, breath already becoming heavy, voice dropping low.
"Give me ten," Neo said confidently before capturing her lips in his once more.
The funeral went as smoothly as possible, though it didn't last as long as the last one. There was still a party atmosphere; people drinking and telling stories, music blasting. Trinity and Neo arrived right on time, cheeks red and Neo's hair sticking up in the back. When Trinity finally noticed, she discreetly reached up and tried to smooth it down, hoping to God no one had put two and two together. Neo just let her, savoring her touch.
The only thing about the service that bothered Trinity were the looks people were starting to give Neo. They weren't even trying to be discreet. People just stared blatantly at him whenever he passed them by. At first Neo hadn't noticed, but after a while, he had wedged himself into the corner of the room, looking like he was desperately trying to blend in with the stone walls. Trinity's rage began to build, too, seeing Neo's discomfort. She knew this would happen eventually, they both did, but she thought they had more time. But she supposed that word traveled fast in Zion.
More than ever before, Trinity truly worried about Neo's 'celebrity' status getting to him. She didn't want him to feel like he needed to hide, but she knew he hated the attention he was starting to get. She also knew it was only going to get worse - it was just a matter of time.
Once the funeral began to wind down and people began to leave, Trinity tugged on Neo's shirt sleeve, signaling it was time to go. She hugged Tank, Zee, and Cas goodbye before leading Neo out of the temple. The stares followed them, and Trinity could hear Neo's rapid breathing as he attempted to keep his eyes on the floor in front of him. It wasn't until they were safely isolated in the elevator that Neo let out a deep sigh and rubbed his face with both hands. Trinity wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug.
"I know, Neo. I know," she murmured. "But - we are going to have to get used to it. It's not going to get any better."
"I know…" he groaned.
They rode back up to their floor in silence. "I'm sure this isn't the best time to bring this up, but I thought you should know… I talked to Morpheus during the funeral. He said the council wants to see all three of us tomorrow. To talk about next steps I guess." She sighed.
The elevator dinged and they exited, turning right down their familiar hallway. It wasn't until they arrived at the apartment that Neo finally responded to her news. "That's just great." His tone was dripping with sarcasm.
Trinity eyed him in sympathy before closing the door behind them. "I know. I know it sucks. But this is our job– we have to do what they say."
Neo nodded, kicked off his shoes, pulled off his pants and laid down on the bed. He put his arm behind his head and looked at the ceiling. "I guess I just hoped for another day of lounging around with you."
She matched his actions, kicking off her shoes and removing her pants before lying down next to him. She rested her head on his chest and said, "I know. Me too. I'd want nothing more. In fact, that's what I want to do every day until we're forced back on the Neb."
Neo looked down at her, though he couldn't see her face. "Forced?" he asked curiously. "I thought you missed it."
She contemplated before answering. "I do, in some ways, but I'm happier here with you, with all this space to ourselves. I mean think about it, we're going to have to be very, very quiet on the ship, Neo." She glanced up at him, trying to make him smile. He didn't.
"But at least on the Neb people won't be looking at me like I have two heads and tentacles for arms…" Neo muttered. "I'd rather give up hearing you moan the way you do if it means avoiding all the unwanted attention from strangers."
Trinity coughed a laugh. "You're their savior, whether you like it or not. Which, I know you don't. But you bring these people hope. I'm surprised you haven't been given gifts yet. And for the record, I'm not that loud…"
He gave her a sardonic look. "You are. And I fucking love it. But that's not the point. I don't want people's gifts. I don't deserve anything like that; I haven't done anything for them."
Trinity smiled sadly. "But someday, you will." And deep down, Trinity dreaded that day, because a part of her just knew he wasn't going to make it out of this war alive.
The next week passed without incident. They were having almost daily meetings with the council, discussing their plans. Twice Morpheus turned them down on their offer to find him more crew members. He didn't see the harm in keeping the ship's numbers small, especially given the nature of their work and Neo's seemingly unstoppability. He clearly did not want to risk anyone else's lives, though he refused to say those words out loud. Trinity knew how much guilt and perceived responsibility laid on Morpheus' shoulders.
When they weren't meeting with the council, Neo and Trinity were locked tightly together in the throes of passion. They made love against the wall and on the floor of their apartment, and in the shower in the middle of the night when no one else was around. They couldn't get enough of each other. Each time seemed to somehow be better than the last as they learned the intricacies of each other's bodies. Each day Neo thought to himself that he couldn't possibly love her more than he already did, and each day he was proved wrong. He could hardly believe his luck, snagging a woman like Trinity. She was as fierce in bed as she was in her role as second-in-command, and Neo loved every minute of it. She somehow found a way to be domineering without being bossy, and still tender without sacrificing passion. He found it to be the perfect balance.
Soon enough, it was time for them to leave Zion behind and resume their mission. For now, they were to free as many minds as possible (within reason, the council reminded Morpheus). He was warned not to free anyone deemed too old to withstand the abrupt change. The night before they were set to reboard the ship, they spent the evening with Tank and his family. They could tell how much he didn't want to leave them behind, but when Morpheus offered to give him more leave, Tank refused, stating he was ready to return to his duties. Whether Morpheus believed him or not was an entirely different story, but he respected his decision nonetheless.
After their visit ended, they couldn't help themselves. They opted for one more steamy shower session while they still could. The shower on the Neb could maybe fit them both, but there was certainly no room to pin Trinity against the wall with her legs wrapped around his hips like he did here. Part of Trinity felt bad wasting all the water, given it was such a valuable resource here, but it felt too good to truly care all that much.
Once they were finally finished, both panting heavily and pruny from the extended exposure to the water, they dried off and put on their clothes before heading back to their apartment. As usual, Trinity made Neo leave first before waiting a few minutes and following behind him. She was still being careful about anyone seeing them together.
Once safely inside with the door shut and locked behind them, Neo approached Trinity and gave her one more soft kiss before pulling her in for a delicate but firm hug. "You okay?" she asked him, concerned at his sudden tenderness. He was certainly not being tender a few minutes ago when he was finishing in her from behind.
"Yeah. I just love you so goddamn much it hurts sometimes. I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me. How much the last couple weeks have meant to me," he said just above a whisper. He was stroking her back, her wet hair, her shoulders - pretty much anything he could get his hands on.
She smiled into his neck and matched his motions, rubbing his back as well. "I love you, too. These may have been the best few weeks of my life despite the time we spent grieving so many people. You make me happy." She responded back, matching his tone, too.
"You make me happy too, Trin."
Reluctantly, she pulled away, putting her hands on either side of his face. "You ready for bed? We have to pack tomorrow morning before we leave. Bright and early."
Neo nodded. "Ready as I'll ever be." He paused a moment before grinning wickedly. "You think we could get away with moving a mattress into the engine room? I'll bet the noise would drown out your moaning so the whole ship won't hear you."
Trinity rolled her eyes, smacking Neo playfully on the arm. "Goodnight, Neo," she said before tucking herself into the bed, stifling her giggles all the while.
The next morning, Neo and Trinity packed up their belongings slowly, with great reluctance. Going back to reality was never easy, and this time in Zion had felt like a dreamy vacation in many ways. Once they were back on that ship, they would have to go back to work, and they'd be spending less time together. There were fewer crew members to take shifts, which meant they'd be working more than they were before.
Upon arriving at the Neb, Trinity smirked at seeing Morpheus' face. He had found his way back to his baby, and it showed how much he missed his ship. The repairs had finally been completed and it looked much better inside than when they had left it. All the holes had been repaired also, along with all the debris being removed and the wiring updated. Their supplies had been replenished as well, and the ship fully charged. Trinity was impressed with how much had been accomplished these last two weeks.
Despite not wanting to leave Zion for un-Trinity-like, romantic reasons, Trinity actually did feel really good about being back on board. This ship was in many ways more like a home to her than her apartment, though Neo had certainly changed that sentiment when he moved in with her in Zion.
She began unpacking while Morpheus navigated them back into the tunnels. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Neo lifting their mattress experimentally. Her jaw dropped, and she glared at him incredulously. He shrugged his shoulders as if to say, What? It was worth a try…
Once her task was complete, she and Neo decided to join Morpheus in the cockpit. He laid out their shift schedule, talking it through while he steered them through the never-ending maze of steel pipes. Tank was in the Core bringing their equipment back online, so Morpheus decided he could share the plan with Tank later.
He was splitting the shifts into six hour segments. Once they were at broadcast depth, he would park the ship and their primary concern would be monitoring the matrix and keeping an eye out for sentinels. It took a few days to reach a good spot, but once they did, they eagerly began their search, if only to have something to do.
It took a few days, but soon Morpheus identified a young man who showed great promise. He was to be their primary target, and the crew began a 24 hour surveillance on him. One evening, while Neo was on duty, Trinity decided to sit with him and keep him company. Neo welcomed her presence, not just because watching matrix code was boring as hell, but because he had so many questions. He'd never seen this process from this side before. And as such, his questions were never-ending: How do you know what you're looking for? How do you decide when to make contact? What do you do if they choose the blue pill? Are some people harder to free than others?
Trinity's head was spinning by the end of their Q&A. She had answered all of Neo's questions, but it seemed his curiosity only grew. Before long, her throat hurt from talking so much and she had to go get them both some water. It helped pass the time though, she had to admit, and she realized she never really explained much of this when they had initially freed Neo. She could understand why he had so many questions.
They spent the last hour of Neo's shift sneaking kisses and rubbing each other affectionately. Trinity was paranoid at first that someone would spot them, but soon enough she didn't care. After all, the young man, James, was sleeping anyway - so there was really nothing new to see.
After Neo's shift, Trinity decided to test the engine room theory. She gently pulled him by his loose collar until they reached the door, glancing around to make sure no one saw them enter. As it turns out, Neo had been right; the loud hum of the boiler really made for great noise cancellation. The floor wasn't as comfortable as a mattress would have been, but Trinity would have been mortified if Tank or Morpheus saw them carrying one back and forth from that room. So the hard metal floor would have to do. It made Neo especially happy that he didn't have to give up hearing her make those noises that drove him absolutely wild.
After about a week of watching this young man and documenting everything they could about him, Morpheus decided it was time to make contact. Neo and Trinity were to go in, talk to him, and give him the choice to follow them if he wanted to know more. If he did, they would present him with the pills and the ultimate choice: red or blue.
The mission seemed easy enough, or at least, they thought it would be. As usual, agents got in the way, but not in the way they expected. Rather than going after the two of them, one agent went after James instead, who had frozen to the spot in fear. The alley they were in was narrow and there was nowhere for him to run. Trinity fought off the agents while screaming for Neo to get James out of there. He paused before making a split second decision to defy her orders and fight the agents alongside her instead. He was desperate to protect her, and couldn't justify leaving her to fend for herself. As a result, just as they feared, one of the agents shot James in the shoulder before Neo could get to him. James was bleeding profusely by the time they were able to move him from the alley. He was barely conscious when given the two pills and a much shorter version of 'the speech.' He reluctantly chose red, if only doing it because he hoped it would free him from the physical pain he was enduring.
They got his body back on board the Neb with minimal interference from sentinels, likely because the man was almost dead. It was only a matter of sheer dumb luck that Morpheus was able to patch him up and save his life. Though James had not yet awoken, Morpheus called the mission a success, if barely.
Trinity was livid. Once the stress of seeing whether James would make it or not passed, and he seemed in the clear, she grabbed Neo by his sleeve and dragged him into the engine room yet again. Neo most definitely got the wrong idea and was still grinning stupidly to himself before Trinity slammed the door, whirled around to face him, and he could finally see the pure rage in her eyes. He reared back, taken completely aback by the wild energy radiating from her.
Her voice trembled as she spoke, "Are you fucking kidding me? Don't you ever do that again!" she practically screamed. Her heart was hammering in her chest; she had never been this angry at Neo before. Worst of all, he clearly seemed to not understand why.
"What are we doing in here? What's going on?" he asked gently, wondering if he should be fearing for his life. He had never seen her this angry. He felt the need to talk to her as if she were a rabid animal; she certainly looked like one.
"The walls in our room aren't soundproof, as you so deftly pointed out, and I don't want anyone to hear how incredibly angry I am at you." She was trembling and Neo took a step forward, hoping to calm her, but she jerked away at his touch. "Don't touch me. Do you even understand what just happened?"
"We saved a guy?" he asked, confused.
Trinity rolled her eyes and began to pace. Her volume rose with each new sentence. "Yes, we saved him, but we wouldn't have had to, if you would have just listened to me in the first place! I asked you to get him out. No, in fact, I ordered you to get him out! I don't know why you keep forgetting that I outrank you, whether we're together or not! You risked his life because you didn't trust me. I had everything under control and an innocent kid almost died as a result of you thinking I couldn't handle myself."
Neo's jaw dropped and he put his hands on his hips. "I do trust you! But you needed my help, Trin! You were outnumbered!"
"I was FINE! They shot him, Neo! He could have died!"
"But he didn't!"
"Thank GOD! You have NO idea how devastating it is to be responsible for someone's death Neo, and you almost just learned. You should be thanking your lucky stars, because that could have been much worse."
"But it wasn't!"
She stared at him indignantly. "Are you going to keep using that as your excuse? Everything is fine just because he didn't actually die?"
"I don't see the point in thinking in 'what-ifs,' Trin. I made a judgment call. You needed my help more than him."
"Bullshit. I am trained to fight, Neo. He is an innocent kid." She stepped closer to Neo bringing herself up to her full height, looking him dead in the eye. "Admit it. You let your feelings for me influence your 'judgment call,' even though you were given an order to help him."
Neo rolled his eyes. "Obviously, Trinity. You know how much I fucking love you. I refuse to let anything happen to you. I've told you this many times by now."
"You're willing to sacrifice an innocent life to save me, Neo?" she challenged. Neo clenched his jaw, refusing to take the bait. "You can't do that. I refuse to let you sacrifice others for me."
Neo's voice had a deadly calm about it; a voice that didn't tremble and indicated his very clear level of confidence when speaking. "Well, luckily you don't have to be the one that makes that call."
She was stunned. "You're joking. You think I could live with myself knowing you let an innocent person die because of me?" She narrowed her eyes at him, shaking her head at his apparent lack of care for what she was saying.
"Look, judge me all you fucking want to, but you are my whole world and I refuse to let anything happen to you, everyone else be damned. You knew this about me and yet you act surprised? Bullshit."
Trinity just sighed and pursed her lips together. "I can't condone that. I don't want that on my conscience and I don't want it on yours either." She said it so softly that he could barely hear her over the hum of the boiler. "Why don't you trust me?"
"I do trust you! I said that already! Why can't you just accept my decisions and move on? They're mine to make, not yours!" Now Neo was feeling defensive. He knew she was judging him for his choice but he didn't care. He'd make it again if he knew it would get Trinity out alive.
"Because they're WRONG!"
"They're not wrong, they're just not what you would have done. And actually, you know what, I'll bet you would have done the same thing as me."
"Ignore my orders?" she raised her eyebrows, challenging him again.
"Save my life when you were told to do something else."
She hesitated and bit her bottom lip. She didn't have anything left in her to retort. She wanted so badly to say that she would have done as she was told, but deep down she knew he was right. Neo meant everything to her, too.
"See? I guess I've made my point then."
Trinity almost growled. "I just want you to prioritize the innocents, Neo. They don't have the training we do. They don't know what's going on, and they get scared. You know how that feels."
Neo nodded. "I do. And next time I will be better about doing both - saving the innocent and protecting you. But I refuse to leave you behind or not help you just because I'm told to do otherwise. I'd rather go in there alone if you're going to expect that of me."
She didn't know what to say. So they just stood toe to toe, breathing heavily, letting their anger seep out of their pores and dissolve in thin air until nothing was left.
"Fine. I see your point. But next time, take what I say more seriously and help whoever is in the most danger before helping the other one. But trust that I know what I'm talking about when I give you an order," she said sternly.
Neo nodded before suddenly, unexpectedly, smiling demurely. This caught Trinity off-guard.
"Why are you smiling?" she asked incredulously.
"Because. We just had our first fight."
She rolled her eyes. "That's not something to be happy about."
"Yes it is. We're a real couple now."
"We've always been a real couple."
"Yes, but it's healthy to hash out a good fight every once in a while." Neo took her hands in his. He could tell by the set of her shoulders that she was still tense. "Besides, now we have some makin' up to do… I mean, we're already here…"
Trinity tried to set her jaw and cross her arms, to show him how mad she still was. But as always, his cute puppy dog eyes won out in the end and she relaxed almost imperceptibly. He looked down at her, hope dancing in his eyes. He may have been tickled by the fact that they had their first real argument but that didn't mean he liked them staying mad at one another. He wanted this over as fast as possible.
She contemplated a moment, trying to draw out his agony. Finally, she decided. "Fine, but I get to be on top. The cold metal can dig into your back this time," she said, grinning wickedly.
That night, as they laid together in their bed, Neo dreamed. He dreamed of Trinity falling, bloodied, and saw her get shot in the stomach. He saw life leave her eyes.
~~Because you didn't come here to make the choice, you've already made it. You're here to try to understand *why* you made it. I thought you'd have figured that out by now.~~
A/N: First fights are no fun, but love always wins in the end! Please leave a review, they make me happy! Hopefully I can get on a good schedule where I update at least once a week/every other week. We'll be hitting movie 2 soon!