Behind the Scenes - 12

A/N: Thanks so much to those of you reading! I'm so glad you're enjoying it so far! Movie 2 is my favorite but what I'm REAALLY excited about is getting past movie 3 and into 4. That'll be fun. But as promised, this chapter continues to fill in missing scenes starting immediately after the last chapter. I got a little writer's block with this one which is why it took so long to update, but regardless… I hope you enjoy!

Neo wasn't surprised to have the dream again. He and Trinity had had an amazing evening, and thoughts of her, the smell of her, even… it invaded his every waking thought. Why not his subconscious ones too? He was used to this though, so when he jolted awake, he merely sighed before untangling himself from Trinity and standing up. He needed some air. It always seemed to help distract him from his… what was this? His fears manifesting in his dreams? Premonitions of something to come? He couldn't tell.

He quietly left the apartment and stood on the balcony, overlooking the city. It amazed him how so many people lived here. The view of all the apartments in this sector of the city seemed to go on infinitely. All it did though, imagining all these people still blissfully asleep in their beds, was give him crippling anxiety from the pressure of being their 'savior.' How the hell was he going to save them all? Was it even possible?

He thought about Trinity falling and tried to analyze it from an outsider's perspective. He wondered if it was either the literal or figurative prediction of something yet to pass. Sure, it could just be metaphorical in nature but was that really the most likely answer? He needed to talk to the Oracle. He needed to know what was happening to him. If it turns out this was a premonition of some sort, what the hell was he going to do to stop it? He didn't think he could survive without Trinity. He didn't give two shits about how that might look to anyone other than her. He knew it wasn't healthy and he didn't care. He loved her more than anything he'd ever known, and he'd be damned if he let anything happen to her.

Discouraged suddenly by his maudlin train of thought, he half-wondered if he just wasn't meant to have anything good, anything to keep to himself, while serving this role. Was he destined to lose the one thing he ever cared for? Did he have any control over the situation at all? After all, wasn't this all about sacrifice? Was that what the dream actually represented? He didn't know the answer. At this point, he almost was scared to find out. Perhaps in this case, ignorance might be bliss.

"Care for some company?"

Neo turned. Counselor Hamann had casually approached him, clad in his evening wear it seemed. Neo was only slightly confused. He knew Hamann didn't live on this floor, so what was he doing here? How did he know that Neo would be awake?

They spoke for a couple minutes. Neo told him he couldn't sleep, which didn't seem to surprise Hamann. He responded with, "I hate sleeping. I never sleep for more than a few hours." Neo couldn't really blame him, if he was being honest. His explanation made perfect sense: you spend your whole life asleep, so why would one want to miss out on everything real life has to offer? In Neo's case, the lack of sleep hadn't necessarily been by choice, but he understood the man's perspective nonetheless.

Without anything better to do, Neo decided to take him up on his offer to go on a walk. After all, he did want to clear his head, and maybe some company would do him some good. He was half tempted to go back inside and wake Trinity up but he knew she was someone who loved to sleep. He didn't want to disturb her. He knew she worried about him, and though they didn't talk about it as much anymore as they used to, he knew she bit her tongue whenever she noticed Neo having the dream again. He imagined her narrowing her eyes and sighing when he refused to tell her about it yet again (why did she even keep asking?) so it was best to let sleeping dogs lie (no pun intended, Neo thought). Part of Neo hated dancing around the subject, but the bigger part of him hated talking about it even more.

Meanwhile, Trinity laid in their bed completely awake. She felt Neo remove himself from the bed and head outside. She was tempted to follow him, but figured he wanted the time alone. She felt lonely and disconnected without Neo beside her. She rarely spent any time in the apartment without him for the last six months. She certainly never had to sleep in the bed alone. Even when Neo would lie awake, pretending to be asleep, at least he'd still be there beside her. She sighed and tried to snuggle back into the warm spot he left behind; at least, until she heard voices. She uncovered herself and crept over to the door, trying to make out who was on the other side. It sounded like Counselor Hamann. She couldn't quite make out what they were saying, but soon enough the voices trailed off and Trinity knew they had walked away. She sighed in frustration before going back to lie down in bed.

She had to admit to herself… what happened a few hours ago left her flustered. She'd never experienced that with Neo before. He had been so tender with her, and she felt so loved and connected to him, and then all of a sudden she saw the panic in his eyes as he rolled away. She didn't know what to make of that. She'd held him, which seemed to help, and he was able to finish what he'd started soon enough. But she wondered if things would ever be normal between them; if Neo would ever feel peaceful again.

She started to doze off, despite her attempts at waiting for Neo to return, when the door opened. Neo tried to be quiet, slowly creeping into the room, but the door hinge was prone to squeaking. Trinity sat up on her elbow and looked over at him, rubbing her eyes as she did.

"Hey there…" she said quietly.

He took off his shoes before slipping back into bed. "Hey, yourself." He smiled demurely at her before laying his head on her bare chest. She secretly loved when he did that. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close, before dropping a tender kiss to the top of his head. She couldn't help but smile to herself as Neo breathed in deep, taking in her scent. He visibly relaxed into her. Even after all this time, she took great pleasure in the fact that she had this effect on him. All she ever wanted was to bring him comfort. When he let her do so, she felt like she could do anything.

"How was your walk?" she asked innocently.

"How did you know I went on a walk?" he asked without bothering to look up at her. He closed his eyes and cherished the feel of her warm, bare skin against his cheek.

"I felt you wake up and leave. I just assumed."

"Ah. Yeah, um… I took a walk with Counselor Hamann. We went down to the engineering level."

Trinity nodded. "It's pretty incredible, huh? The technology that keeps this place going."

"Yeah. I didn't want to be gone too long though." He kissed the top of her breast and she shuddered.

"I'm glad you did. I know we should be sleeping, but…" she trailed off, and Neo finally looked up at her. She was biting her lip and he grinned in response. He knew what she was getting at.

"We won't be here much longer," he said softly, finishing her thought for her. She nodded. Neo kissed her collarbone softly before moving his lips up her neck to her ear, and finally her lips. Trinity closed her eyes, savoring the feel of his lips on her skin. Goosebumps followed wherever he moved, and Neo grinned at the sight.

He lifted his shirt off his body and threw it onto the floor. His pants and underwear quickly followed. Neo was determined not to let what happened last night happen again. He wanted to show Trinity just how much he loved her, and that he was unafraid, despite his earlier reaction. (And, despite the fact that he was, in fact, very afraid of all that was to come). In all the time they'd been sleeping together, he'd never let something like that completely take over his psyche in such a way that it disrupted his performance. Luckily she hadn't seemed too upset, but she had done very little to mask her worry. Now though, he was going to make up for it, and try and prove to her (and himself) that he was truly okay.

Trinity reached out and threaded her fingers through Neo's hair, bringing his face back down to hers. She moaned into his mouth and Neo covered her body with his own. They moved in tandem, lips only breaking contact to kiss other places on their bodies. Neo refused to look away; he looked deep into her eyes and silently pleaded with her to understand.

Trinity felt breathless. She could tell Neo was trying to make up for what happened before, and she wasn't complaining. He was being very generous with his affections, and Trinity was more than willing to follow his lead. His touch was electrifying and she felt like her whole body was on fire.

After 45 minutes, they were panting and exhausted, covered in sweat. Trinity wondered what it was about this apartment… maybe it was truly the privacy, or the fact that it was somewhere different than their cabin on the Neb… but she felt like their love-making was so much better here. They let themselves go and took their time, and she could be as loud as she wanted, much to Neo's delight. Heart still hammering, Trinity kissed Neo's forehead as he laid his head down next to hers. They wrapped their arms and legs around one another's before they both fell almost immediately into sleep.

The next morning, they rose blearily from their slumber before dragging themselves to the bathroom to take a shower. Thankfully it was late enough that the bathroom was deserted; most people had already gone to work. They washed each other's hair and kissed lazily, taking their time. After they were done, they returned to the apartment and began packing their belongings, if only to get a jumpstart on their to-do list so they could spend the rest of the day in bed. As they did so, they heard an unexpected knock on the door. Trinity shot Neo a confused look, but he merely shrugged as she answered it.

It was Ballard at the door. He asked Trinity if Neo was there. Trinity cringed internally, not loving the fact that he knew just where to find him. They'd really tried keeping their relationship a secret in order to maintain some level of professionalism, but she supposed they hadn't been super careful lately. Their protectiveness of one another must have been picked up on by someone. That, and probably the hand-holding under the table while eating in the dining facility in Zion. And probably also the time they were caught making out in the elevator by Niobe… either way, she knew how fast rumors spread through the ranks of the warships. Especially when the rumors were true.

She opened the door wider, showing Ballard that Neo was, in fact, inside. Neo saw Ballard had some kind of chip in his hand. He reached out and handed it to Neo, face grim as he said, "It's from the Oracle." Both Neo's and Trinity's hearts spasmed in their chests. The Oracle! Morpheus had been right!

Neo looked over at Trinity, noticing her dumbfounded expression. He grimaced, knowing things were likely only going to get much, much worse in the days ahead. "It's time to go," he told her stonily.

Ballard bowed his head and left with his crew, having successfully done his part. Trinity shut the door and put on her bravest, sternest expression before nodding at Neo and continuing to pack. She didn't want him to see the stress creeping in. We were supposed to have more time! She thought almost angrily to herself. Neo saw right through her. He walked up behind her and put his arms around her shoulders, placing his chin in the curve where her neck and shoulders met. She responded in kind by placing her hands on his forearms and closing her eyes.

"I'm not ready to leave," she whispered, her mask slipping clean off her face. She didn't even know why she bothered putting it in place to begin with, especially when they were alone. He could usually see right through her anyway. Besides, he knew how she felt about all this. So why pretend?

"Me neither," he replied, tone matching hers; guilty and regretful. He seemed sad and forlorn, and Trinity knew why. She knew how much Neo enjoyed their time together here, regardless of whether they were having sex or not. This place was their refuge, their escape from reality, and she had hoped so much that they'd have more time. To Neo, this was the one place he could stop being the One and just be her boyfriend, her partner. The only person he had to please was her, and not hundreds of thousands of people with fairly unrealistic expectations of him. He could rarely just be himself, unless it was just the two of them.

Trinity took a deep breath. "But at least the Oracle contacted us," she said. She understood Neo better than anyone in the world, but she also knew it was time to refocus. It was time to get back to work, whether they wanted to or not. Plus, she wanted to discreetly remind Neo that hopefully answers were coming; answers she'd been dying to uncover for months now.

Neo kissed the side of her neck lovingly. "Yeah. At least there's that." He was anxious to talk to the Oracle, yes, but he wanted to stay here with her just a little longer. After all, who knew when they'd be able to come back here for a well-deserved break?

She turned in his embrace and wrapped her arms around his ribs. They held each other for a moment, savoring the connection and the support the other brought. After a few moments though, the debilitating weight of responsibility came crashing back down and they let go of one another. Wordlessly, they finished packing and, without knowledge of what the future held, left the apartment behind forever.

Neo and Trinity found Morpheus waiting for them on the ground floor by the elevators. He was hard to read, Trinity noted. She supposed she saw hints of contentment in his face, but it looked forced. He couldn't mask his worry, either. She wondered if he was as anxious about these next steps as they were; whether he was also afraid. They were finally going to get some direction, she hoped, and maybe even end this war altogether. Was it even possible though? Could the end really be in sight? And if it was… would they make it out on the other side unscathed?

As she was fantasizing about what the end of the war could even look like, she heard Kid calling out for Neo. She groaned inwardly, silently begging him to just leave them the hell alone for once. But then she saw Neo unwrapping a small gift. At first, she couldn't make out what it was, and then Neo lifted it up slightly: a spoon. She chuckled despite her truer instincts of annoyance and walked on towards the Neb. Neo and his spoons…

They dropped off their bags before heading into the cockpit to join Morpheus. It was all business now; they had an important mission ahead of them and needed to discuss the plan. Neo presented the chip to Link before sitting behind Trinity, who was in the co-captain's chair. As soon as they were cleared by the command center, they left Zion and raced through the tunnels.

It would take a day or so to reach broadcast depth, so they went through the plan multiple times with Morpheus before Neo and Trinity were able to head back to the kitchen for a late lunch. They chatted amiable while they ate, waiting for Link to join them. When he finally did, Trinity and Neo dropped their conversation, looking up at Link in interest. Neo asked, "Did you check the chip?"

Link sat down with his bowl and stared into it sullenly, not taking any bites. "Yeah. It's her exact coordinates. I can load you in as soon as we get to broadcast depth." Trinity watched him move his spoon around the slop in circles, making figure eights. She sighed, heart going out to him in sympathy.

"I can't imagine what it must be like to leave Zee behind. I know Dozer and Tank always hated leaving too." She tried to smile at him in understanding. Link looked at her briefly before turning his attention back to his food.

"Yeah, it sucks." He admitted. "'Specially when we weren't there very long."

They sat in companionable silence for a moment before Link spoke up again. "She worries, ya know? And there's nothing I can do about it. I can't make her feel any better."

Neo and Trinity both nodded. Neo didn't know what to say in response though. He was lucky enough to have Trinity by his side everyday. He couldn't imagine being separated from her for such long lengths of time. In fact, since he'd been unplugged, he'd only ever gone a day at most without her. His heart swelled as he counted his blessings. He shot her a grateful look and could tell she was thinking the same thing, as she was looking at him with pure love in her eyes. He gently knocked her foot with his under the table. She gave him a wry grin.

"There isn't really anything you can do. She's lost so much already. She will continue to worry until this war is over," Trinity stated matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, well, when will that be?" Link huffed.

"You know we're working on that. Hopefully soon." Trinity tried to sound reassuring, but what did she know? She had no idea how much longer this would all go on.

Link just sighed and pushed his bowl away. "Yeah. Hopefully soon," he agreed before standing up and walking towards the cabins, likely hoping to have some time alone before they reached their destination.

Neo pursed his lips together. "I feel bad for him," he admitted.

Trinity nodded and inhaled through her nose. "Me too. But we tried to warn him, didn't we?"

"Yeah, I suppose. But I don't think he regrets taking the position."

"I don't think so either. He just wants to be with the person he loves, as well. Can't say I blame him."

"Me neither," Neo nudged Trinity's foot once more as they begrudgingly tucked back into their meals.

The rest of the day passed slowly for Neo and Trinity. Both were more worried about the visit to the Oracle than either would admit. After dinner, Trinity took her shift in the cockpit and Neo worked with Link in the Core. Morpheus ate dinner before going to bed early. He was going to pilot the rest of the day the next day.

Once Link retired for the evening too, Neo decided to join Trinity in the cockpit. It reminded him of the time she'd fallen asleep right there in his lap months ago. He'd been so scared back then… scared of his new role, especially. He'd been scared of fucking things up with Trinity, too. He'd been still reeling a little bit from being unplugged and thrown in the deep end with the war waging around him. He'd done all he could to keep his head above water and now… now he realized he was actually starting to come to terms with his destiny. He was almost certain he wasn't going to make it out of this unscathed, though he'd never tell Trinity that. But as stressed as he was, and with how little sleep he was getting, he actually felt more 'okay' now than he had been six months ago. It seemed like that would have been unlikely to Neo, being as close as they were now to the 'end,' but he'd taken the time needed to come to terms with his plight. He knew now there was nothing he could do to change who he was and what he was destined for; he just hoped and prayed he could keep Trinity out of the crossfire.

Trinity looked up briefly when Neo entered. She could somehow sense him before he even came into the small cockpit. He couldn't keep a smile off his face as he saw her, despite the morbid thoughts he was having only seconds before.

"Hey," she said lovingly.

"Hey yourself." Neo sat down next to her.

"Link go to bed?" she asked, flipping a few switches and putting the ship into autopilot. It ran slower this way, but she didn't want to be distracted with Neo there.

"Yeah," he replied, reaching over and taking one of her hands into his own. "Just wanted to see how you were doing."

"I'm fine. Just anxious to get to the location and get loaded in."

"Yeah, about that… Um… I know we were planning on going in together, but…" Neo trailed off, watching the pipes as they passed by.

"But what?"

"Well, I kind of… I'd like to go in alone," Neo admitted.

"Why?" Trinity asked, perplexed. He seemed perfectly fine with the plan yesterday. They were both going to go in and Trinity was going to watch his back while he spoke with the Oracle.

"I just think it's something I should do alone," Neo shrugged.

Trinity didn't know what to say. She didn't want him going in alone, and he wasn't giving her a valid reason as to why she should stay on the Neb. But the look on his face… he looked worried. She knew he was going to talk to her about next steps regarding whatever the hell it was they needed to do to end this war, but she knew he was hoping to talk to her about his dreams too. Could that have something to do with it? The Oracle had told her to keep Neo safe… if she didn't go in with him, would she be breaking that oath?

"Is that okay?" Neo asked, breaking her from her train of thought.

She shrugged. "I just don't want to see you get hurt or something… going in without backup." Hypocrite, she heard her inner thoughts spit at her.

"I'll be okay. It's just a conversation. In and out." He tried to sound encouraging, but he knew she was only barely going to agree to this.

She sighed. "Okay. I just hope you know what you're doing."

Neo chuckled.

"What?" she asked, eyebrow raised.

"Do I ever really know what I'm doing?" Neo smiled at her - a real, genuine grin.

Trinity rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean," she chastised.

"I get it. I'll be fine, don't worry." He squeezed her hand to emphasize his point.

"We should be at a good location tomorrow afternoon," Trinity explained. "I'm on shift until four a.m. and then Morpheus will take over from there. Why don't you go get some rest?" As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew he was going to refuse. Neo was ridiculously stubborn, after all.

He gave her a pointed look. "Let's stop pretending I sleep anymore, Trin."

She shook her head. "You can at least try. Or rest your eyes, or something."

"I could. But I don't want to. Not yet, at least."

"You don't have to stay up here with me. I know you always do because you feel like you have to, but - "

"I don't have to. I want to."

Trinity sighed. "I know. But I want you to be prepared for tomorrow. You're going in alone, you need to be ready to be on your guard."

"I'll be fine, really."

Trinity turned to him and quirked her eyebrow again. "You know, I could command you to leave the cockpit and go get some rest. You always forget I outrank you."

Neo smirked, knowing her tricks. She always brought this up as a last resort when she didn't get her way.

"We both know you're not going to pull that card."

She feigned offense. "And what makes you think that, Neo?"

"Because. You enjoy my company too much. You'd be bored to tears without me up here."

"You forget that I did this job for years before you came along. I am my own person, after all."

Neo nodded. "I know you are. But I know you prefer my company. So, I'll head back to our room when I'm ready and until then, we can talk. It beats fighting about it for a while - we're just going to land on that decision anyway." He smiled at her; he was still holding her hand as she was trying to ball it into a fist. He didn't give her the satisfaction or the leeway, so he held on tighter.

She tightened her jaw, stunned by his argument. God, did he really know her that well? Or had they had this argument one too many times? She stopped trying to pull her hand away and hesitantly conceded the not-argument by allowing him to hold her hand normally again.

"You win. You can stay. But I swear to God, Neo, one misstep tomorrow and I'm coming in after you." She rolled her eyes and looked out the window.

He smiled. He knew how much she hated losing arguments and it brought him no small amount of pride when he outwitted her from even having one to begin with.

"You bring me peace, you know that? I couldn't do any of this without you," he said softly after only a moment's pause.

She looked over at him. How had he known how much she'd needed to hear that?

"I love you," she whispered back, squeezing his hand tighter. "We're going to get through this. I don't know how, but we will. We have to." She allowed the tentative hope she felt seep into her words. She wanted Neo to have hope, too. Sometimes she wondered if he simply felt resigned to some terrible fate, but she didn't want him to live his life with that on his back. Even though at times she, too, felt like everything was doomed to crash and burn around them, it wasn't the way to live.

Neo clung to her words like a drowning man clinging to a buoy. He wanted so badly to believe her. "I hope you're right," he choked out.

They didn't speak for a few minutes, when suddenly Neo got an idea. He wanted desperately to change the tone this conversation had taken. He tugged on Trinity's hand lightly. She gave him a questioning look before Neo patted his lap.

"Neo, we cannot possibly do that right now. Are you kidding? What if someone came in and saw us?" Trinity asked, completely abashed at the thought.

"Not that, Trin. Jesus. I just want you to sit with me; for old times' sake." He grinned and patted his lap again. She looked around - what for Neo had no freaking clue, they were very clearly alone - before standing up and sitting on Neo's lap like they had done all those months ago. She settled in and melted into him.

"No funny business, though. I have to be vigilant and take control of the ship if needed," she warned him.

Neo chuckled. "Yes, ma'am. I won't let you fall asleep. I was thinking actually… wanna play 20 questions?" She laughed and they eased into the goofiest game of 20 questions yet; thoughts of the war slowly pushing into the back corners of their mind. For now, at least.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Like I said, a little bit of writer's block with this one. But next chapter I hope to get into ~the!~ kiss. Whew! If you feel so inclined, I do love reviews!