Ch 13: Once Upon an Ed
It's nighttime. Lincoln's friend Zach, is getting ready for bed in his room as he gets out a comic book. "Ah, there's nothing like a sci-fi comic to help you get to sleep." He starts reading. Then he hears something. The sounds are coming from his wall. He listens.
"Uh oh, I think I've got wall squirrels."
Then there's a crack on the wall. Part of the wall breaks and creates a hole. Lincoln's head is shown.
"Hello."
Then more of the wall breaks and Clyde is shown. "Oh wait, my leg's caught."
More of the wall breaks and Rusty is shown. "Break it up! Get outta the way! Make room!"
"I think I'm sitting on a nail." Clyde mentioned.
"I can't feel my legs." Lincoln said.
"Hey!" Zach got their attention. "How'd you guys get inside my wall? Were you planning on having a sleepover?"
"Yeah, that's why we're stuck inside your wall." Rusty said with sarcasm.
"Rusty, manners." Clyde said. "Assess the situation. Zach deserves an explanation." Clyde tries to get more room since the three boys are cramped in the wall. "Now if someone would just redirect their foot, I'd be happy to tell Zach the story."
"Well, looks like I'm getting a new bedtime story." Zach said, putting his comic aside.
"Now let's see, the story begins-"
"Oh come on! Lincoln's breathing down my neck!" Rusty complained.
"It's not my fault your head is in the way." Lincoln replied.
"There's an art to storytelling, Rusty." Clyde stated. "One must use a pallet of words to paint images, blend sentences, and project them in an interesting way."
"Boring." Lincoln blurted.
"Yeah, boring." Zach agreed.
"See? Zach's got your number, Clyde." Rusty said. "Let me tell the story, Zachery."
Rusty's story:
We see Rusty in a fancy white outfit and walking with a cane. "I was strolling down the neighborhood, nothing new, nothing special when Chandler rides up and says-"
"Uh, excuse me Mr. Rusty, nice day for a walk, isn't it sir?" Chandler is now a monkey riding his bike.
"And I say, Chandler, is that a flat tire you've got there? He looks down and bam!"
Chandler crashes into a tree.
"What a sap!" Rusty laughed as he walked away.
"Good one Mr. Rusty!" Chandler laughs. "I'm such a loser!"
Rusty is now headed to his mansion. There are statues of him in the front entrance. "With that, I headed back to my mansion to hang out with the ladies...and my other friends."
Inside, Lincoln, Clyde, and some girls from school were playing video games in Rusty's living room. The girls were wearing dresses. Rusty enters the room.
"Greetings, everyone!"
The guys happily greeted Rusty.
"He's so self absorbed." Girl Jordan said.
"My public." Rusty said as he straightened his tie. The girls walked up to him.
"Wow Rusty, is that a new suit?" Stella asked.
"Can I touch it?" Girl Jordan asked, getting up in his face. "Please Rusty? Please?"
"Hey, hey, hey!" Rusty said. "How bout' a little personal space?" He shoved her away.
"Hello Mr. Rusty, it's me Clyde!" Clyde greeted. "How are you on this fine day?"
"How do you think? I'm as popular as ever. Duh." Rusty said as he walked past his friends.
"Oh, of course."
Rusty went to sit on his throne. "Ah, this is the life."
One of his servants walked up to him. "Excuse me Mr. Rusty, your new motorcycle has arrived."
"It's about time."
Rusty pulled out a microphone and spoke. "I'm about to speak. Good news, my new expensive motorcycle has just arrived. And since I'm the owner of this mansion, I want you all outta here so I can admire my motorcycle alone. Oh wait, Lincoln and Clyde, you two can stay."
The other girls complained.
"Ladies, ladies, you can all come back tomorrow cause I love ya."
Two servants were pushing the ladies out of the mansion as the girls waved bye to the ladies man.
"Once I got rid of the commoners, it was time to check on the stash."
Rusty, his servants, Lincoln, and Clyde went up to a huge safe. Rusty was being carried on a servant's back. Another servant unlocked the safe. The safe opened up to reveal a stash of bikes..
"Oh man!" Rusty said overjoyed. "Look at all these sweet rides. Now where's that motorcycle?"
He spots it. "There it is!" It's all gold and shiny.
"Ooh!" Lincoln touched it.
"Lincoln, you can look at it but don't touch." Rusty said. "I'm gonna drive this thing!"
Rusty gets on the motorcycle. An automated voice is heard on the motorcycle. "No need to drive me Mr. Rusty, for I can drive myself."
"Cool." Rusty was driven around his mansion. The others just watched.
"Isn't Rusty the coolest?" Clyde said dreamily.
We go back to reality and Rusty has a smug smile.
"Rusty, you've never been brave enough to even sit on a motorcycle." Clyde stated. "Pure fiction. Your exaggerated tale can only be described as cockamamie."
"But I have to admit, Chandler as a monkey was priceless." Lincoln commented.
"Well, don't stop now." Zach said. "What happened next?"
"I'll get to that." Clyde responded. "Continuing from where Rusty left off, the discomfort began when I was baking cookies at Rusty's place."
Clyde's story:
Clyde was getting baked cookies from the oven.
"The McChocoBride cookies are ready. Wait til the guys try these."
Then Clyde heard Lincoln and Rusty's voices. He went out of the kitchen and saw the two boys having a water gun fight. They had just come inside and their feet were muddy. They chased each other tracking mud all over the living room. They were also wet from the water. Clyde was shocked and dropped the tray of cookies.
"What're you doing?!" Clyde yelled. The two boys stopped their war and looked at Clyde.
"Oh, Clyde, are those cookies done yet?" Rusty asked.
"Look at what you've done to the living room!"
The boys noticed all the mud they've tracked. They looked ashamed.
"I hope you're proud of yourselves." Clyde scolded. "You've messed up my living room again! It's baffling, I tell you!"
Lincoln and Rusty shake in fear as Clyde continues to rant.
"Your deep rooted lack of self control only fosters failure in every endeavor we undertake! I mean, it's always one step forward and two steps back! Why?! Don't you see the example I try to set for you? Take note, as I am a-" Suddenly Rusty's voice replaces Clyde's and Clyde has a stupid look on his face. "-stupid four eyed nerd and a babbling dork who can't lift a stick."
"I wish I was as good looking as Rusty." Rusty said, mocking Clyde.
"Boy, this story stinks." Zach said. "I wanna hear a real story with more adventure and sci-fi."
"Open a window Zach and get some air." Rusty replied.
"My turn." Lincoln said.
Lincoln's story:
Everything is in black and white, except for the characters.
"And so it went, for little did Lincoln, Clyde, and Rusty know that at the mall a certain group of ten sisters were having lunch. They ordered Burping burgers. But these burgers were different. They were over-radiated burgers that were made by mistake. The sisters were unaware of this as one by one they would take one bite from the tainted patties."
Then the sisters started to glow and the burgers started affecting them. The roof of the mall started to break open and a glowing light was shown. Back at Clyde's house, Clyde was still scolding Lincoln and Rusty.
"So the next time you want to have a water fight, do it outside! Do I make myself clear?"
Suddenly, there were loud stomping sounds.
"Hey, what's going on?" Lincoln wondered.
The three boys go outside and see citizens running for their lives.
"Run! Run like heck!" Liam yelled.
"I'm so outta here man!" Chandler said as he rode off on his bike.
Stella was running but also pointed up at something and giggled. Clyde's dads are running.
"Oh, my legs!" Howard moaned. "I can't go on, Harold!" He fell. "Farewell, cruel world!"
"Come on Howard! You can do it!" Harold tried to pull Howard up but someone's foot landed on both of them, crushing them.
"Dads!" Clyde shouted in shock. The three boys heard laughing and looked up. They saw a giant Lori and the rest of Lincoln's sisters in monster form. They have horns, scales, and tails. Also, their skin now has their signature color. They laugh wickedly.
"Uh oh! Monster sisters!" Lincoln panicked and ran. The three boys ran for their lives as the sisters chased after them. Monster Lynn burped loud enough to melt a house with her bad breath. Monster Lisa had laser eyes and used them to turn a house into stone.
"What do we do? What do we do?" Clyde asked, clinging onto Lincoln.
"Guys, in here!" Rusty opened the door to his house. Though when he was about to enter, an eyeball blocked his way. It was Monster Luan's eye and she was peeking through the house. "Eye see you!" She stood up with the house on her face as she laughed. The boys ran off. Monster Lola threw kiss marks at the boys. The kiss marks landed around them. Rusty pulled out a trash can lid for protection.
"Come at me, ladies!"
The sisters then fused together to form one body. They had multiple eyes, arms, and legs. They also had one big lip.
"Lincoln, your story's getting weird." Rusty said as he was freaked out.
The sisters shot a kissy mark at the boys, knocking them to the ground. The girls came closer to the boys.
"I'm a ladies man! Stop!" Rusty yelled.
Clyde screamed. Lincoln stood up, looking brave. "Now it's my turn!"
Lincoln then transformed into his favorite superhero, Ace Savvy. He flew into the air holding his friends and his fused sisters chased after them with a tennis racket. Unfortunately, Lincoln got hit with the racket which damaged his flying power. He fell to the ground with Clyde and Rusty. They emerged from the dirt and the sisters were approaching.
"She's coming! I mean, they're coming!" Clyde yelled.
Lincoln saw a hole in the wall of someone's house. "We've found shelter!"
Lincoln squeezes his friends in through the small hole before the girls can get them. Lincoln tried to squeeze in himself, and he got in the hole before a giant hand could reach him.
"And that's how we got stuck in your wall. The End." Lincoln said, finishing the story.
"What an enchanted world you live in, Lincoln." Clyde said.
"I got a cramp listening to you." Rusty added. "Ok Zach, there's your story. Now how about prying us out of your wall."
Zach has fallen asleep.
"Oh, he's sleeping." Lincoln said.
"Wait a go. man. It was your part that put him to sleep."
Suddenly, there's a sound coming from the other wall in Zach's room.
"What was that?" Clyde asked in fear. "Did you guys hear it? I don't have a good feeling about this."
"I don't have any feeling at all." Lincoln said.
Then at the other side of the wall, a hole is made with someone's buck teeth. It was from Luan. Some other sisters appeared too.
"There you guys are!" Lynn said.
"First, you steal our chocolates to make cookies, then you try to hide from us?" Lola said angrily.
"It's a never ending story!" The three boys yelled.
"Zach! Wake up!" Rusty called. "Get a crowbar! Quick!"
Then the sisters were gone.
"Where'd they go?"
"I don't know. I was looking at Zach." Clyde said, worriedly.
"Someone's pulling on my pants!" Lincoln panicked.
Suddenly, the three boys were pulled away from the wall.
Epilogue
"Well, we learned our lesson." Lincoln said. "Never take chocolates from my sisters."
"Yeah, especially since they chased us to the point where we had to hide in Zach's house." Clyde pointed out.
"Well, now about half of my allowance is spent on chocolate." Rusty said.
It's revealed the boys are in a store buying candy for the Loud sisters. The Loud sisters are looking at them through the window.
"I told you we would make them pay." Lori said.
"Yeah, I'm sure this is one story they won't forget." Lucy said as the girls were now satisfied.