Chapter 24: Loud in a Halfshell
It was the weekend. Lincoln and Leni decided to hang out with Lola in her room, and have a tea party. But Lincoln was starting to regret it.
"This is so embarrassing." He muttered. He's seen in a bunny outfit. "Do I really have to wear this, Lola?"
"Yes, you're my bunny butler."
"Besides, you look so cute Lincoln." Leni complimented.
"Now do the bunny hop." Lola ordered.
"No." Lincoln refused.
"Do it or no dessert for you." Lola said as she took away his plate of cookies. Lincoln hesitated, but he did it. As he did, Lola took her phone out.
"Hey, don't take pictures!" Lincoln glared.
"Don't worry, I'm not taking pictures. I'm making a video!"
Lincoln groaned. Then Lisa, who was wearing a lab coat, and Darcy entered the room and saw Lincoln hopping around.
"Why is Lincoln hopping around in a bunny suit?" Darcy questioned.
"I'm guessing Lola had something to do with this." Lisa said. Lincoln noticed them and stopped hopping.
"Hey Lisa." Leni greeted. "You wanna join the tea party?"
"Not me." Lisa replied. "I have a science convention to attend to and Darcy needs someone to play with. Will you guys be willing to let Darcy join you?"
"Hmm...I'm not sure." Lola said.
"Of course Darcy can join us!" Leni said.
"Wow, your sister does have a lot of stuffed animals." Darcy said.
"Yes, I'm certain you guys will get along swimmingly." Lisa said. "But if these ninnys give you any trouble, use this remote. It summons my robot clone to give punishment to any sibling."
Lisa handed Darcy a remote with a red button on it.
"Goodbye specimens." Lisa left the room.
Darcy stares at the others. "So...do you guys like giraffes?" She held out her stuffed giraffe.
"Kid, you're gonna cramp my style." Lola said, bluntly.
"I bet Darcy would like to play some games." Lincoln said.
"Games?" Darcy said excitedly.
"There we go. What kid doesn't like to play games?"
"I know a game we can play." Lola said as she smiled sinisterly.
"Lola, wait, stop!"
Lincoln, Leni, Darcy, and Lola were outside as three of the kids were standing in front of the garage. Lola had a dodgeball in her hand.
"Dodgeball has no educational value whatsoever." Lincoln said, shaking in fear.
"What are you talking about? It builds character." Lola said. "And it's fun."
"I agree." Leni said. "Just keep your eye on the-" Leni gets hit with the ball. "-ball of pain..."
"You're out Leni." Lola said as she got the ball back. "Who's next? Darcy or Lincoln?"
Darcy and Lincoln were both shaking in fear. Darcy got away.
"I guess it's Lincoln."
"Lola, no! I have a history with this game! What's that? I see flashes, Lola! Deep rooted images! It's the game of torture! I'm already in pain just thinking about it! Oh, I'm reliving it Lola!"
Lola had drawn Lincoln's face on the ball. "But it's got your face on it, Lincoln."
"Lola, listen to me Lola!"
Lola gets ready to throw the ball at him.
"It's gym class all over again!" Lincoln cried and screamed. He cowered on the ground shaking. Darcy hung onto Leni and screamed, and Leni screamed too. Lola facepalmed in annoyance.
"Get over it, Shakespeare." Lola said to her brother as the boy was curled into a ball.
"I'm bored." Darcy said. "I want a turn."
"No way, it's still my turn."
"I'm calling Robo Lisa!" Darcy took out the remote and was about to press the button.
"Wait Darcy, Robo Lisa bad!" Leni pounced on Lola. "Don't hog the ball Lola! Let Darcy have a turn!"
"Yay!" Darcy said.
Leni picked up Lola and rubbed her against her hair. Then she stuck Lola to the garage with static electricity. Lola couldn't move.
"Static electricity can be quite humbling, can't it Lola?" Lincoln said, He looked back at Leni and Darcy. "Oh Leni, that's much too far for Darcy. A little closer if you will."
"Ok Lincoln." Leni shoves Darcy closer to Lola. "Go on, Darcy. It's your turn to hurt Lola."
"Oh no, this girl's gonna murder me! Someone please save me!" Lola mocked. "Yeah right!" Lola burst out laughing but Darcy threw the ball hard enough to knock Lola through the garage.
"Yay! I did it!" Darcy cheered.
"Good shot, Darcy!" Leni picked Darcy up and carried her on her shoulders. Then she ran off with her.
"I'm the toast of the town!" Darcy said proudly.
Lincoln watched them. "Aw, look at them Lola."
Lola got up. "It's pathetic."
Leni tripped over a rock, but she and Darcy laughed anyway.
"Darcy and Leni seemed to have developed a sisterly bond." Lincoln said as he pulled Lola out of the hole in the garage.
"Socks with sandals are the worst." Darcy said.
"I know. Eww!" Leni said.
"Totes eww!"
"Interesting." Lincoln commented.
"Why's Darcy acting like Leni?" Lola wondered.
"Well Lola, like siblings, the younger more naïve sibling tends to mimic and learn from the older sibling. A mirror image in some cases."
"Mirror image? One exactly like the other? Like two ice cream scoops on a cone? Two arms and legs on a body? A dynamic duel? A pair of underwear?"
"A pair of underwear is one item, Lola."
"Same thing. I, Lola, will teach Darcy to be the best there is. Just like me."
A montage begins. First, Lola walks around a mud puddle and instructs Darcy to do the same. But Darcy leaps in the mud puddle instead. Lola spanks her with a stick. Next, Lola instructs Darcy to push a heavy box onto a mat. Darcy tries to push it but fails to do so. Lola facepalms and gives Darcy another spanking. Then Darcy tries to push the box again and gets an idea. She gets Lynn and forces her to carry the box over to the mat for her. Back at the mud muddle, Darcy doesn't jump in it. Instead, she kicks mud onto Lincoln and Leni, much to their surprise. Lola and Darcy laugh at this. Then Darcy pulls the "you've got something on your shirt" trick on Lola, and this earns her one final spanking.
Darcy was sitting on the front porch as Lola paced back and forth.
"Enough beating around the bush Darcy. I think you're ready for the final lesson. Let's discuss beauty pageants."
"Theatrics don't forge good learning skills." Lincoln said, discreetly to Leni.
Lola glared at Lincoln. "Hey, do you mind, Mr. 'I know everything about nothing'?"
Leni shushed Lincoln.
"Where was I? Oh yeah, beauty pageants." Lola showed Darcy a picture of her at a beauty pageant. "Always remember, if you enter a lot of beauty pageants you get to spend a lot of time with me."
"But how do I prepare for a beauty pageant, Aunt Lola?"
Lola sighed proudly. "You're such a nosy little tyke. Come with Aunt Lola."
Lola dragged Darcy off with her.
"Hurry Leni!" Lincoln said, alarmed.
"Shush. My yeast is rising."
Lincoln stares at Leni for a few seconds, unsure what to do. "Nut loaf, Leni?"
Lola takes Darcy to another part of the neighborhood and people are seen hanging out.
"See all these people, Darcy?"
"Yes, Aunt Lola."
"Since this is your first time in the pageant biz, I'll start you off with a small audience. Audiences pay attention to performers. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Darcy and Lola smiled at each other. Darcy walked off.
"I'm gonna be the center of attention, Aunt Lola!"
Lola wiped a tear from her eye. "They grow up so fast."
Then Lincoln and Leni caught up to Lola.
"Lola, shame on you!" Lincoln scolded. "You set Darcy's-"
"Shush!" Leni said, as her yeast was still rising.
"You set Darcy's expectations too high. She's bound to fail."
"Ok, so maybe I was a little tough." Lola admitted. "But that's how Lori taught me. The only way to get it right is to get it wrong."
The siblings see Darcy performing. She's wearing a dress and tiara, walking on a balance beam and doing tricks like spinning two batons. The crowd is impressed. Then she hands out candy and the crowd takes them.
"Now that's what I call a performance!" One woman said.
Darcy was now juggling while walking on the balance beam.
"A performance like this deserves some cash." One boy said.
Darcy held out a jar and people put money inside of it. Lola was astounded.
"How come I didn't think of that?" Lola said.
"Seems the student has surpassed the master." Lincoln noted.
"But better." Leni added.
Darcy was done performing and the people left.
"Goodbye, you've all been a great audience."
Lola came over to her. "You're a chip off the old block, kid!"
"Well done, Darcy." Lincoln complimented. "Where did you learn those neat tricks?"
"I watch a lot of parade acts on tv." Darcy said.
"Interesting. I would've never thought of that."
"Of course you wouldn't."
Lincoln felt insulted. "...Well."
"Hey kid, it's time to give credit where credit is due." Lola said to Darcy. "Nothing big. Sixty percent will do."
"What are you talking about?"
"My cut of the cash."
"Hit the road." Darcy walked off with the jar of money.
"Why you thankless little-if it wasn't for me, you'd be planting daisies!"
"Tell it to the judge."
"Oh, she's good." Lola said surprised. She ran after Darcy. "Gimme that thing you little runt!"
Lola took the jar from Darcy and tossed her aside. She looked at the money. "Hello my babies. Did you miss me?"
Darcy was now angry. She pounced on Lola. "It's mine!"
Lola was frightened by Darcy's ferocious behavior. "Aah! Darcy's lost it! Help me! She's a wild animal!"
"Break it up, you guys!" Leni ordered. "Oh wait, I know what to do."
Leni took out the remote that was used to summon Robo Lisa. Lincoln realized what Leni was about to do.
"Leni, don't press that button!"
Too late. Leni presses it. Then they hear trees being knocked down. Robo Lisa bursts through a fence, with a built in jetpack.
"Trouble detected! Trouble detected!" Robo Lisa said.
"Bingo." Darcy said smugly. She digs some dirt and rubs it on her face. She then pretends to cry.
"Trouble detected! Trouble detected!"
"Get lost, Robo dork!" Lola said. "We're talking business here."
"Oh Robo Lisa, it was terrible!" Darcy whined. "They made me eat dirt all day!"
Robot Lisa glared at the three Loud siblings. "Threats targeted!"
"Oh, she's real good." Lola said in an undertone, as she was more surprised. She backed away next to Leni and Lincoln. "Uh...who are you gonna believe? That little rat or an honest bunch like us?"
Robot Lisa glared with eyes glowing red. She attacked the Loud siblings, shooting lasers at them. Darcy couldn't help but giggle at them. The three Louds were now blackened as they laid in a pile.
"My jar please, Aunt Lola." Darcy took the jar back but the money was gone. "Hey!"
Darcy pokes Lola's nose and Lola spits all the coins out. Darcy collects them all.
"Oh boy! Robo Lisa, can you take me shopping? I wanna buy some candy for me and Lisa."
"Following Darcy's request." Robo Lisa said and carried Darcy off with her jetpack.
"Boy Lola, you truly created a monster." Lincoln said as he was in pain.
"No kidding. Kinda makes me feel all warm inside."
Leni looked at her burnt skin. "This is like, the worst tan ever."