This was one of those things that started out as a dumb joke before I thought more about it and decided 'Wait, this is actually a good idea'. And so, I decided to finally put it to paper.
I'd also like to preface this by saying that the original idea for this story largely came from TheEvilestOfTwins and Wolf-Chalk, with my only main contribution being that I was the one who decided to actually write it down into a story.
Hope you enjoy!
It was another fine day at Zurkie's Gastropub and Battleplex, the air filled with a joyous cacophony of revelry, clinking glasses, and most importantly, explosions. Ever since the Emperor's defeat, business has been booming for the Zurkon family, with no small thanks to Rivet's recent promotion from fugitive rebel to renowned hero and liberator of the galaxy. Ever since her and Kit's victory against Nefarious, along with Ratchet and Clank's help, everybody's been wanting a chance to visit the hangout of the heroic Lombax, especially since the fall of the empire meant it was a lot safer to visit the previously outlawed pub without fear of being arrested.
And on this particular evening, among the bustling crowd of patrons stood the iconic duo themselves, letting off some steam after finally having a small break in the midst of fixing up the various messes across the galaxy left in the wake of the emperor's defeat.
Well, in actuality, only one member of the iconic duo was currently standing in the lively pub of Zurkie's proper, timidly holding on to a cup of oil that she didn't really want but acquired anyway because of her partner's insistence to unwind a bit. And presently, she stood looking out of the windowed wall of the pub, watching said partner blast away legions of robotic foes in the roaring arena that was Zurkon Junior's Battleplex.
"Can you believe it, my fiends?!" His voice rings through the arena, cutting through the thunderous crowd. "Rivet, the undefeated champion, has massacred nearly every single opponent without even a scratch! At this rate, she'll break a new Battleplex record!"
"Damn right I will!" She enthusiastically calls out to Junior before taking her hammer and striking an opponent off the platform and into the laser grid below, incinerating them instantly.
And as she continues to plow through her enemies with a ruthless ease, Kit stands inside the pub, watching her performance with trepidation, anxiously grasping onto her cup of barely touched oil. Having been with Rivet for a while now, she understood that she has gone through many, many fights that were more dangerous and unpredictable than any match in the Battleplex could compare to, many of them Kit was able to witness firsthand. Between her fierce attitude, worrying penchant for destructive weapons, and sheer, unfiltered strength, there was no doubt that she was a force to be reckoned with, almost always being the most dangerous thing in a room at any given time. But even then, knowing full well of Rivet's capabilities of defending herself and harming others, Kit found herself worrying for her safety in the nonetheless.
Was she being overprotective? Or was it normal to feel this way? They are partners, after all, so it should only be natural that she'd be worried about her even if it was logically unnecessary… right? That is what it means to be a partner, right?
She took a tiny, bemused sip of her oil as three more foes fall to Rivet with cries of agony echoing through the arena, prompting excited cheers from both Zurkon Jr. and his enraptured audience. She was definitely going to have to speak to Clank about this the next time they meet, and ask him if he ever felt this way towards Ratchet. And with any luck, he'll be able to tell her how to handle these feelings.
Meanwhile, down below, Rivet continues her assault against the small army of robots whose numbers were rapidly dwindling, their cries and subsequent explosions punctuated by the sound of Rivet's guns, the booming crowd, and of course, Junior's commentary.
"Only two dozen more opponents left to be blasted away into smithereens!" He gleefully declares. "Will Rivet make it? Or will she have to wallow in the shame of coming ever-so-slightly close but failing miserably to break the record?"
"Shame?!" Rivet exclaims indignantly, popping a robot in the head before pointing up to him with a scowl. "What shame?! I set that record, Junior! The only shame that anyone's going to be feeling is you after I make you eat those words!"
"And how are you going to do that if you just stand there and yell at me?" Junior retorts impatiently. "Less talking, more shooting, more smashing, more gratuitous violence!" He cries out in sadistic pleasure, backed up by roaring cheers from the crowd.
With a renewed vigor from his taunting, Rivet proceeds to step up her game and quits playing around, going for efficiency with her slaughtering instead of style, taking out one robot as her mind calculates the optimal path to take out the next three by any means necessary. Using her hammer to smash it onto a robot's head and use it as leverage to fling herself into the air, whipping out a blaster to headshot two more as she's airborne, and finally landing with a crushing blow onto a third before spinning around to eliminate four more that immediately move in to surround her, all without a scratch.
The crowd goes wild for her display, Zurkon Jr. absolutely reveling in the destruction, and Kit restlessly watching from above, pondering if all those reckless maneuvers were really necessary.
In a mere minute, the arena is cleared of opponents, save for all the sparking scrap metal that was littered across the platforms, Rivet standing among them, breathing a little hard, but wearing a satisfied grin on her face as she places her hands on her hips. She glances around herself, internally patting herself on the back for a job well done as the audience cheers for her, chanting 'RI-VET! RI-VET!' in celebration. She's heard that chant many, many times before already, but she couldn't say that she's gotten tired of it one bit.
She turns back to look up at Zurkon Jr., spectating on his floating platform, microphone in hand.
"So, how's it taste to have that foot in your mouth?" She asks smugly, before glancing down and realizing he doesn't actually have any feet. "Or, erm, thruster… thingy?" She awkwardly corrects herself, pointing to it.
"Don't get ahead of yourself, Rivet, you haven't completed the challenge just yet!" He enthusiastically corrects her.
"Huh? What do you mean?" She asks confusedly, looking at him in disbelief. "I took out all of those robots!"
"Not all of them!" He corrects her with a raised finger. "You've still got one more to take down!"
He points up behind Rivet, where she turns to see a large dropship come and slowly lower down, hovering above the arena. A hatch underneath it opens with a hiss, and a giant hunk of metal falls down and lands hard onto the platforms, shaking the ground and making Rivet stumble a bit as she looks at the red metal cube in front of her, being nearly twice her size.
But then, it too begins to hiss as its form expands, revealing arms, then legs, a body, a head, and to top it all off, giant cannons, making her realize that this wasn't someone's hunk of misplaced scrap, but in fact a giant robot that was over thrice her size, standing just as tall as Kit's warbot form.
"Behold!" Junior declares excitedly, flying his platform near the robot's head, whose sole eye glared at Rivet with an angry crimson. "A master of destruction, a mechanical menace, a being of pure brawn, and your final opponent! I bring you, STEVE!" He cries out with sadistic, joyous fervor, riling up the crowd around them.
Rivet, however, tears her gaze away from the hulking deathbot to instead stare at him in bewilderment. "Wait, seriously? You named this thing Steve?" She asks in disbelief, gesturing to it. "What the hell kind of name is that?!"
Junior gasps as he dramatically brings a hand to his chest in offense before floating back over to Steve's head. "Did you hear that, Steve?" He asks in disbelief. "She thinks your name is stupid! She's not being very nice to Steve, is she?"
He simply shakes his head, making a slight grinding sound as he continues to glare at Rivet, internally beginning to kick herself for saying anything about this warbot's name.
"And that doesn't make Steve feel good, does it?" Junior continues.
Steve angrily shakes his head once more.
"Well then, it seems like Steve needs to teach her a lesson, doesn't it?" He says with sadistic eagerness.
Steve nods as he raises his arms, each equipped with a giant cannon that each pointed directly to Rivet, gripping onto her hammer anxiously, poising herself in her battle pose.
"Excellent!" Junior cries out as he flies away from Steve, high in the air in between the both of them. "Now, LET THE CARNAGE BEGIN!" He announces with a maniacal laugh.
And with that, Rivet immediately sees the cannons glow, and swiftly jumps out of the way in time to dodge the plasma blasts that threatened to incinerate her, the sound of it hitting the platform nearly drowned out by the roar of the crowd at having the fight officially kicked off. She begins to then run all around the platform, taking potshots at Steve as he continues to try and blast her away with his cannons, deftly dodging and flipping over and away from his shots aiming for any weak spots she thought she could see. The joints of his legs, the center of his chest, and his unwavering, glowing eye, but as she continued to unleash her assault unto him, she unfortunately saw that she wasn't even making a dent onto him.
"Oh, come on!" She laments.
"Why, Steve gets only the finest armor, you know!" Junior comments. "Triple-plated durasteel, you'll need guns as big as his to punch through something like that! And with those ionized Generation III plasma cannons, he's almost the perfect war machine!" He comments in pure admiration, flying near Steve to gawk at him up close, having no fear of being blasted away as he focuses solely on Rivet, still trying to shoot at her.
"Why did you even bring this guy?!" Rivet cries out, dodging his blasts as she still attempts to shoot at him. "I didn't sign up for this kind of fight, Junior!" She cries out, stopping for a split second to point at him.
"I just wanted to surprise my favorite furry ball of death incarnate with a real challenge!" He answers back, completely unfazed. "And besides, this makes for an utterly magnificent spectacle of destruction, isn't that right, my fiends?!"
The crowd goes wild in affirmation, Junior taking a moment to revel in the cacophony of cheers and cannon shots as Steve continues to try and dispatch Rivet before he turns back to her.
"Or," He says slowly, "You can always just tap out right now if this is just too much for you, you know! Just call it quits! And all it'll take is living with the shame that the Great and Mighty Rivet has finally met her match to a measly deathbot after taking down an entire galactic empire!" He taunts.
Rivet shoots him a furious, determined scowl, with any little doubts about continuing this fight instead immediately washing away into pure, determined spite towards Junior, to which he only laughs.
She then looks back to Steve, and the utter lack of damage she's inflicted onto him with her weaponry so far, and holsters it to instead whip out her hammer with a renewed vigor. "Time for plan B, then!" She says as she begins sprinting towards him.
Steve continues to fire his cannons at her, but with just as much luck in hitting her as his previous attempts, her managing to get closer and closer as she dodges left and right, occasionally jumping over a plasma blast as well. And only a few seconds later, she finally reaches him, and being right up next to him, she takes her hammer and smashes it into his knee with all her might.
And to her delight, the sheer shock of her impact manages to make him cease his firing for a moment as he stumbles a bit, but to her dismay, he recovers after only a few seconds, focusing back onto her. He raises a foot to stomp onto her, but she quickly rolls away as the ground shakes under his step, and looks up in time to see him swing one of his cannon-arms at her, prompting her to jump away once more.
But as it slams into the ground, Rivet sees an opportunity, and as he recovers from the shock of his own swing, she jumps onto the cannon and runs right up his arm, and upom reaching the shoulder, jumps up, hammer raised, and slams it down onto his head with a loud clang.
Steve stands back up from the sudden strike, and reels back a bit, discombobulated, and Rivet grips onto his head to maintain her strategic vantage point, albeit wearing a smirk at finally having done some damage. And as soon as he becomes steady, she continues to slam the top of his head with her hammer.
And as the crowd cheers her on, Kit remains inside the pub, watching her performance with tense worry. What was she thinking, willingly battling such a dangerous opponent like that by herself?! What she needed to do was to quit this fight before she got herself hurt instead of stubbornly trying to breaking some record that no one else even has a chance of coming close to! If it was up to Kit, she'd end this match this instant, but because Rivet decided to enter by herself, all she could do was idly sit by and hope that her partner could make it out of this unharmed.
Down below, Rivet seen continuing her unrelenting assault onto Steve's now heavily-dented head, wearing the proud, eager smile that she always did in her fights.
"Not so tough now, are you, Steve?!" She gloats between swings. "I was expecting more of a fight!"
She raises her hammer once more, but as she does, she spots something out of the corner of her eye, and realizes much too late that it's one of his cannon-arms, headed right towards her.
With a cry, she is swatted off his head, thrown from the top of him, landing painfully back down onto the ground as she tumbles into stop, groaning, and the crowd utters a sound of sympathetic pain as they themselves wince from the impact.
"Ouch, that's gotta hurt!" Junior declares with amusement. "But not as much as the fact that you just failed to break your record for most opponents defeated without getting hit! And you were so close, too!"
"Nope," Rivet groans from the ground, lying on her back with a wince. "This hurts more."
"Not as much as the blast you're about to receive, so I'd hurry and get up if I were you!"
Rivet raises her head to look down the arena, and sees Steve priming another shot with his cannon. Adrenaline immediately kicks in, and quickly rolls away in time to dodge the blast before she gets back up, but grips her side as she feels a sudden sharp spike of pain flare up.
"Great, I just had to break a rib at a time like this." She mutters. "Well, nanotech, do your—"
She reaches for her stash of nanotech vials, but to her surprise, her hand only touches the side of herself. She snaps down to look for them, patting around, and sees with dsmay that she didn't have any on her.
"What the hell?! Where did they—"
She stops in her tracks as she suddenly remembers her conversation with Kit immediately before signing up for this fight, when she was fretting about her safety. Particularly, she remembered how she intentionally got rid of her nanotech in order to prove a point in how she was perfectly able to handle herself, because 'I'm so good, I won't even need this stuff, Kit, just watch me.'
"Son of a—"
Steve blasts another shot, but thankfully, it somehow misses her, and lands right next to her instead, making her fall over in surprise, sending another flare of pain in her size.
"What's the matter, Rivet?" Junior asks mockingly. "Giving up? You're getting awfully sloppy!"
"You wish!" Rivet calls back. "I just… got a little surprised, is all!"
"You do know that there's no shame in quitting now, after all!" He advises her. "Given that you've already been shamed for slipping up like that just now!" He finishes before laughing maniacally.
With a scowl, she uses her free hand not holding her side to point at him with her hammer. "Like hell I'm quitting! I'll finish this fight, just you watch!"
"Gladly!" He retorts. "Let's see if you can reclaim any semblance of your dignity left!"
And with that, she focuses her attention back to Steve, once again beginning to fire upon her, and she dodges them accordingly, albeit with noticeably less grace than a minute ago, now opting to just simply run instead of flipping and jumping this way and that, closing in onto him once more. When she reaches him, she once again swings at his knee to refocus his attention back onto her and to prompt him to slam his arms down onto her once again. And sure enough, he does, and she seizes the moment to begin running up to his arm to return back to his vulnerable head.
But as she only makes it a few steps up his arms, he suddenly lifts her, having learned from last time, and throws her off and back down onto the ground with yet another painful tumble, landing right near the edge closest to the pub.
"Ouch, yep." She groans painfully, trying to sit up. "There go more ribs."
She tries to stand up once again as Steve begins to turnaround, leaning onto her hammer for support, but then sits back down as new pain flares up her leg.
"Oh, perfect, and the leg, too!" She cries out in frustration.
She looks back up, and sees Steve priming his cannons once more, aiming straight at her. Realizing the danger she's in, she once more tries standing up, but finds the pain too great, and only settles with rolling away as best she could, but not quick enough, as she sees Steve still easily tracking onto her.
"Oh, crap." She mutters.
She sees the cannons begin to glow, ready to fire in mere seconds, and realizing the state that she's in, she's not going to be able to dodge it in time.
"Oh, crap." She says with wide eyes.
She then begins to hear the cannons hum as they glow even brighter, and she vainly holds a hand in front of her face as she closes her eyes. "I tap out, Junior! I tap out!" She cries out.
But it was too late, as only a second later, she hears the cannons fire, and she cringes attempting to brace herself as best she can against the imminent blast of plasma, wondering why in the hell she didn't just end this fight as soon as that deathbot showed up.
But then, the ground underneath her shakes as a loud mechanical noise is heard, shortly followed by the sound of the plasma hitting something, instinctually making her wince. But then, she realizes that whatever was hit wasn't her, and she slowly opens her eyes to see herself sitting there perfectly fine.
That, and the fact that she was apparently inside some kind of giant shadow. With confusion, she follows it down to the ground in front of her, and looks up to find that it belonged to Kit, standing in front of her in her warbot mode, shielding herself with one of her giant arms, looking back at her.
Rivet points at her in surprise. "What are you—"
"Just stay there, Rivet." Kit quietly and calmly advises her. "You're hurt, just let me handle this."
Before Rivet could open her mouth to reply, Kit looks back to Steve as the crowd is heard going absolutely wild.
"What's this?!" Junior cries out in complete surprise. "Who is this surprise challenger?!"
Kit doesn't respond as she looks right at Steve, indifferently looking back at her with his sole crimson eye.
"You hurt my friend." Kit tells him angrily. "And I must protect her."
In response, Steve simply points his cannons at her, and he fires another blast of plasma, but Kit simply blocks them with her arms, doing little more than scratching her paint before she brings them down to charge at him.
In only a few seconds, she reaches him, where she rears back a punch and slams a giant fist into his body, making him stumble back from the impact before he steadies himself, looking back up just in time to see her throw another punch.
He manages to block it with one of his cannon-arms, and returns one of his own, thrown into Kit's body, making her stumble back as well as the audience threatens to deafen the patrons of the rest of the pub with their excited cheers at this unexpected fistfight between giant robots.
However, as their cheers and cries to throw hooks and uppercuts fill the air along with the sound of clanging metal, no one seems to notice how Zurkon Jr.'s commentary at this utterly magnificent sight is absent from the chaos.
That's because right now, he simply hovered in his platform, microphone dangling as he stares slackjawed at this mystery warbot that seemingly appeared from nowhere, saving Rivet's life, trading blows with Steve, and most of all, she was winning. Steve had some of the best weaponry that Junior's seen in any contender in the arena, save for Rivet of course, but this warbot shrugged it off like it was nothing! And the sheer, raw, brutal power in her punches showed him that she held unimaginable strength in her chassis, and with all of those covers all over her back and shoulders were no doubt hiding some incredible weaponry just underneath as well. And if everything else about her was any indication, then he knew that whatever they were, they were powerful, destructive, dangerous, and able to unleash a hellfire that he could only dream of in his wildest fantasies.
Steve was one of the most powerful and dangerous robots that Zurkon Jr. had ever found, and he knew that he just had to get him into his arena to witness his full capabilities for destruction for himself. But here was this mystery warbot, throwing him around like a ragdoll, equipped with some of the best armor and weaponry that he's ever seen, and fighting with such ferocity that could level an entire planet with enough time, energy, and ammunition.
She was a machine built purely for war and destruction, her entire purpose was to cause untold amounts of carnage upon whoever was unfortunate enough to cross her path, and she could utterly obliterate anything into mere atoms if she so chose to.
And to the starstruck Zurkon Jr., he could only think one thing.
She. Was. Perfect.
Meanwhile, down below, Kit is able to find an opening in Steve's defense, and takes the opportunity to throw a series of punches, not letting him get a chance to recover from blow after blow, beginning to severely dent his body, the armor finally worn down. And in only a matter of seconds, he falls down onto his back, limbs sprawled out as he begins sparking, but Kit, taking no chance, walks up to him and raises her foot, and with one final, thunderous stomp, crushes his head like a tin can.
Junior then shakes his head, snapping out of his daze as he brings the microphone up to his mouth once more. "I-I don't believe it! Steve has been defeated!" He announces, backed by the roar of the crowd. "The winner is the mystery warbot!"
And as the crowd continues to cheer for her victory as he goes on to recap at how magnificently chaotic the entire spectacle was, Kit ignores all of them as she turns around and walks back to Rivet, still lying on the ground, and still holding onto her side, beginning to flare up with even more pain as the adrenaline starts to wear off.
Kit crouches down next to her, still in her warbot form, and takes a moment to inspect her before sighing. "Why did you have to throw away your nanotech, Rivet? You're incredibly injured right now."
"Pssh, I'm fine, Kit, I've gone through worse before, you know." She says as she waves a hand in an effort to reassure her. "I've just got a little headache. And a couple of broken ribs. And… maybe a leg, too. But other than that, completely fine!"
Kit shakes her head. "No, we need to get you home right this instant and get you proper rest to heal."
"What? I don't want to go home, Kit, we just got here!" Rivet pouts. "And besides, Zurkie always has a stash of nanotech inside the pub, just get me some of that and I'll be good to go!"
"Why? So you can simply re-enter the arena to get injured once again?" She asks skeptically. "No, we are going home. I don't want to see my friend get hurt any more than she already has."
She slumps. "But, Kit—"
"If you really want to unwind, then let's invite the Morts to go on a picnic with us after we get you properly healed." Kit proposes. "In fact, why not invite Ratchet and Clank with us? It'd be nice to see them again after spending the last two weeks clearing out imperial holdouts, would it not?"
And at the mention of the interdimensional duo, Rivet visibly stands down, the pouty disappointment on her face instead replaced with a look of thought as she mulls over the suggestion, and after a few moments, nods with a small smile.
"Yeah, that'd be nice. Let's go home." She says contentedly.
Kits smiles. "I'm glad to hear that. Can you walk?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can—"
She attempts to stand up, but immediately feels sharp pain shoot through her body as she puts weight on her leg, and sits back down. "Yep, nope, never mind." She says with a wince.
"It's alright, I can carry you." Kit reassures her as she places on of her giant hands down next to Rivet, allowing her to shuffle herself into a comfortable position in her hand before being lifted up.
"Do you still have our Dimensionator in your Arsenal?" Kit asks her.
"Yeah, right here." Rivet replies, taking it out after looking through her inventory for a moment. "But… before we go, can you just promise me something?"
"Erm, yes, of course." Kit answers confusedly. "But what is it?"
"Can you… not tell Ratchet about just happened?" She meekly asks. "Last thing I need is him worrying about me getting hurt like you are now."
Kit chuckles at her sudden bashfulness, but assures her with a nod. "Yes, I promise."
Rivet gives her a smile. "Thanks, Kit."
She turns her attention back to the Dimensionator, and after inputting the coordinates for Sargasso, aims it in front of them and opens a rift, large enough for the both of them to pass through.
But as Kit begins walking, Rivet looks over and points to Zurkon Jr., seemingly not noticing how he simply floated there, ogling Kit in pure, awestruck admiration.
"This isn't over, Junior!" She yells out. "I will break that record, just you wait!"
"Erm—Yes, of course!" Junior replies, snapping out of his daze. "And I will eagerly wait your return, for you and your friend!"
"Good!" Rivet replies as Kit begins to step through the portal. "I'll be back for that rematch!"
Junior returns an eager nod as he watches them enter the rift, but as he does, he suddenly realizes something, and his sole eye widens as he throws out a hand.
"WAIT!" He cries out, "Just who is that—"
But before he could finish, the portal simply closes, leaving behind an empty arena, littered with scrap from the short but fierce battle between Steve and that war machine, who appeared out of nowhere, and left just as quickly as she came. And all throughout the chaos that was transpiring both within the arena and his own heart, he realized that he never caught her name.
"Just who is that beautiful angel of death?" He mutters to himself in awestruck wonder, staring at the dented, sparking remains of Steve, utterly obliterated by that amazing warbot.
And as he replayed every moment of that fight within his head, every little detail about her was beginning to deeply ingrain into his memory. Her vibrant golden paint, her sparkling blue optics, her capacity to commit brutal destruction and carnage on an unprecedented scale.
There was no doubt about it.
He was madly in love.
"So then I was like, 'No, Ratchet, that's Mort! This is Mort, it's not that hard!" Rivet says with a laugh, sitting at the bar, telling her story to an amused Zurkie, currently cleaning cups and glasses in between serving drinks. "I mean, you'd think he'd learn at least one of their names after guessing it for the twenty-seventh time!"
Kit meanwhile, sits next to her, and gives her a skeptical look. "Are you really sure he got it wrong? I believe there is hardly any variation in all the possible ways to say 'Mort', if there even are any."
"Wow, you're lucky Mort isn't here to hear you say that." Rivet says, picking up her drink. "Because you'd be getting one hell of an earful right now." She tells her as she takes a sip.
"I must say, it seems like you love Ratchet very much." Zurkie comments casually as he picks up another glass to clean.
Rivet chokes on her drink as he says that, however, and begins coughing, raising a finger to Kit as she asks if she's okay. And a few seconds later, looks back at Zurkie with shock. "I'm sorry, what?!"
"Well, ever since you met him, all the stories you've been telling me always involve him in some way, and he's the one you talk about most. Even more so than the Morts or the rest of the resistance, in fact." He explains with a smile.
"I-I, that's… That's just because there's been nothing else to talk about ever since we took down Nefarious, is all!" Rivet hurriedly defends herself. "I mean, it's not like I have crazy stories about being a fugitive rebel if I don't have anything to rebel against, you know!"
"What do you mean?" Kit asks. "We've been spending the last month travelling all over the galaxy to destroy any lingering remains of Nefarious' forces, we have plenty of stories of our adventures to talk about."
Rivet shoots her a stern look. "Kit."
And as Kit recoils from the sheer intensity in her gaze, Zurkie instead chuckles. "Don't worry, I'm not intending to make fun of you, Rivet. I am simply expressing how glad I am to see you indulging in this wonderful feeling of love for our fellow bots and creatures in this universe." He tells her, placing his hands in a praying gesture. "And in your case, a love towards Ratchet that goes deeper than most."
"Hey, I don't have a crush on him or anything like that, alright?!" She states firmly, pointing at him with a fierce look. "Stop accusing me otherwise!"
"Why, you can't fool me, Rivet." He replies, utterly unfazed. "I have a loving wife after all, I know the signs when I see it. Especially now, too, since Junior won't stop talking about his newfound love of his life." He says amusedly, returning to cleaning.
"I—Wait, what?" Rivet asks, her imminent defense against his entirely baseless accusations of liking Ratchet getting shattered as she's shocked to hear that bombshell. "Junior has a girlfriend now?"
"Apparently so." Zurkie confirms. "Even though he hasn't spoken to her, or even knows her name for that matter, but that doesn't stop him from talking about her all the time like you do with Ratchet."
She frowns slightly at his jab, but furrows her brow in confusion nonetheless. "Just who is this girlfriend—"
"RIVET!" A voice calls out from the other side of the pub, startling both her and Kit as they and a few other patrons turn to see that it was Junior. "There you are! I have to ask you something!" He says as he quickly begins flying over to them.
"You're about to find out." Zurkie says before bowing to her. "Namaste, Rivet." He says as he moves away to serve customers on the other side of the bar.
And before she could question him what he means by that, she and Kit suddenly find Junior in front of them, practically vibrating with excitement.
"Rivet! There you are! I've been waiting for you all week!" He states eagerly.
"Erm, hello to you, too, Junior." Rivet greets him, blindsided. "Why have you been waiting for me? Is it for that rematch? Because of it is, hat to break it to you, but I'm not really in the mood—"
"It's not about that stupid rematch!" He tells her, throwing his arm in a sweeping motion. "This is about your mystery savior that jumped in and took down Steve in minutes before you two disappeared!"
"Wha—Mystery savior? What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about that giant, wonderful war machine of pure destruction, coated with paint as golden as a thousand suns, lights as crimson as the blood of her enemies, and eyes as blue as the lips of a freshly strangled cadaver!" He says passionately. "And I must know who she is!"
Rivet begins to squint at him as the dots slowly start to connect in her head. "Your dad said you have a crush on someone." She states. "Is this… 'mystery savior' of mine the crush he's talking about?"
"Of course she is!" He states firmly, as if she asked the stupidest question in the world. "Do you know what kind of carnage an angel of death like her can unleash? The sheer magnitude of devastation? How effortlessly she can bring about absolute annihilation of her enemies? How could I not love a machine as amazing as her?! Now tell me, what is her name?!" He asks frantically.
And as he stares at Rivet with furious determination, she begins to smirk at the sheer ridiculousness and hilarity of the realization that he's fallen in love with Kit. She turns her head and glances over to her partner in question, who appears to be visibly uncomfortable with Junior's straightforward advances, and moreso his descriptions of calling her a murderous war machine.
But then, Junior follows her gaze, and seemingly just now spots Kit, and upon seeing her face, he gasps.
"Are… Are you my one true love?" He asks in awe.
"Erm…" Kit shifts uncomfortably in her seat, having no idea how to handle this situation of having someone confessing their love to her, much less how she could possibly turn him down nicely. "I…"
"Of course not." Rivet answers nonchalantly from beside her, making both Kit and Junior snap back to her in surprise.
"Rivet?" She asks in confusion.
"What do you mean this isn't her?" He adds. "How could this not be her?! They look the same!"
"Because, is she as tall as the pub like my mystery savior was? Is she absolutely armed to the teeth? Is she able to possibly carry me out of the arena like that warbot did last week?" She asks with a raised eyebrow. "Didn't think so. Sorry, Junior, but Kit's not the bot you're looking for." She says with an apologetic shrug.
And as Kit begins to smile, thankful and relieved for Rivet's intervention, Zurkie looks between the two of them, utterly baffled and disappointed.
"But… but… why do they look so similar, then?!"
"Easy." She says with a smile. "Because your mystery warbot is actually Kit's big sister, Kat."
Kit's smile and relief instantly vanishes as she looks onto her with sheer bewilderment and an unsettling worry. "Rivet, what are you—"
"She lives back on Savali like Kit did, but she's a little too big to hang out with us all the time, as you so vividly remember, apparently." She says, gesturing to him. "But, she looks just like Kit here, so I can understand your confusion. Trust me, it happens all the time."
And as Kit simply gawks at her, slack jawed with disbelief, Junior simply crosses his arms.
"Then how was she able to save you in the Slaughterplex last week if she's all the way out there, hmm? I didn't see her come into the pub." He accuses her.
"Well, that's because Kit saw that I was in danger, so she called Kat up right before using the Dimensionator to open a portal to bring her here to the arena." She explains pointedly, reaching for her drink before taking a small, casual sip, absolutely amused by the glare she could see Kit was giving her out of the corner of her eye.
"But I didn't see any rift open up to drop her into the arena." Junior rebuttals with a squint.
"But did you see her enter the arena at all?" She counters. "I mean, that's why you asked me about her in the first place, right? Because you had no idea where she even came from?"
"I… I suppose you're right about that…" He mutters, looking away in thought. "And it is true that Kit here couldn't possibly be that magnificent warbot, either, what with how puny and harmless she is."
Kit opens her mouth to comment something, but realizes that she doesn't really know what to say. Or, what's even happening right now.
"So… Kat is her name?" He asks in wonder, turning back to the both of them.
"Yep." Rivet affirms with a pleased smile and a nod.
"Can I see her, then? I must see her!" He states fervently.
She sucks in her teeth. "Well, sorry to say, Junior, but she's a little tied up today, helping the monks, erm… lift things and whatnot." She says, waving a hand around. "But, you could always have Kit here pass along a message to her, right?" She asks, nudging her partner with a smirk.
She frowns. "Rivet, I don't know what you're trying—"
"I see." Junior cuts her off. "Well then, Kit, tell Kat that I think she is the most beautiful, wonderful, ruthless machine of pure destruction that I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing, and that I wish nothing more than to spend the rest of our lives together, raining down hellfire onto anything and everyone that dares to get in our way, where we will then dance upon their ashes in absolute delight as we revel in their annihilation!" He recites passionately.
And as Kit sits there, dumbstruck by his admittedly impressive confession, Rivet places a hand on her chest with a smile that clearly indicated she was enjoying all of this far too much.
"That was very poetic of you, Junior, I'm sure Kat would love to hear that. Wouldn't she, Kit?"
She shoots Rivet a conflicted look, wanting to deny everything that she was saying, but then she looks back to Junior, wearing an expression of pure elation at having finally learned who his true love is, and she realizes she just doesn't have the heart to let him down like this.
So, instead, she resigns with a sigh and a nod.
"Yes, I'm sure she will." She says defeatedly.
"Excellent!" He says happily. "And I will wait here eagerly for her response!"
"Don't worry, we'll keep you posted, Junior." Rivet says as she raises her glass. "But until then, here's to wishing you good luck!" She says as she takes a sip.
"Much appreciated, Rivet!" He returns delightedly. "But if you'll excuse me, I have other customers to attend to, I see my dad giving me that look again."
"Well, don't let us keep you." She says, putting her glass back down onto the bar. "See you soon, Junior."
"And to you, Rivet, where I'll also be waiting for your rematch so you can regain some of your dignity after last week!"
She frowns. "Hey, it's not fair that you brought in a warbot as a surprise—"
"Gotta go!" He quickly bids them farewell as he swiftly flies away to a table of customers on the other side of the bar, making Rivet sit there in surprise for a few moments before exhaling a breath as she rolls her eyes, turning back to the bar.
"I can't wait until I get the chance to shove it in his face." She mutters.
"Rivet, what was all of that just now?" Kit asks her sternly, now finally safe to confront her with Junior gone.
"Oh, what do you mean?" She replies innocently with a smirk.
"Why did you tell him I have a sister on Savali?" She demands. "Why didn't you just tell him that it was me who saved you in the arena last week?"
"Well, what would you have done if I did do that? Look into his big ol' puppy eyes and tell him that you're not interested in being his one and only war machine? By doing this, I just saved you from all the trouble of having to reject him." She explains pointedly.
"But you didn't have to go on to say that I have a sister, and that she's the one he's in love with!" Kit argues. "You could have just said she was an entirely different robot, completely unrelated to me if that's the case!"
"Hmm… Yeah, I probably could've." Rivet replies with a nonchalant shrug. "But if I did that, then it wouldn't be half as entertaining as seeing him trying to indirectly hook up with you." She replies with a smirk.
Kit crosses her arms with a frown. "Really, Rivet?" She chides her. "You are making me suffer like this because it is entertaining to you?"
"Well… when you put it like that, it makes me sound like the bad guy." She retorts. "And you can't say that you're suffering from all the compliments he's been giving you, right? I mean, it must make you feel at least a little good to know that someone's that into you like he is, right?" She asks with a raised brow.
Kit stares at her for a few moments before she quickly looks away, arms still crossed.
"Well… I can't deny that it's somewhat flattering to know that someone wishes to court me." She acquiesces. "But I don't appreciate that it's solely because of my destructive capabilities, especially considering that he apparently dislikes my normal form, where I'm the real me." She states, gesturing to herself. "And I really don't appreciate you perpetuating some silly lie for your own amusement, either."
Rivet shrugs. "Well, if you really don't like this whole situation, there's nothing stopping you from just walking right up to him and telling him the truth right now, you know." She says, pointing to Junior, taking orders from a rowdy table of customers. "Or, you could just let him keep living in this fantasy where he's in love with a warbot named Kat on Savali if you're too scared to do it. Your call." She says with another smirk as she takes another drink from her glass.
Kit frowns at her, and looks back to Junior, seriously considering on doing exactly what she suggests. But then, she thinks about what will happen is she does do it. Would he be sad? Angry? Violent? Would he attempt to lash out at her for not saying anything, or would he take it up with Rivet, who started the lie in the first place? And if he did either of those, would he intentionally attempt to wound Rivet next time in the Slaughterplex as payback?
But what she feared most is the idea that she will simply shatter his heart. It was clear that he was heavily infatuated with 'Kat', and he appeared extremely overjoyed about it as well, looking to be in jovial spirits with the rest of the customers he's serving. And the last thing that Kit wanted to do was to destroy all of that for him and make him feel terrible, even if she didn't intend to.
She did also realize that it likely wasn't a good thing to string him along like this, but… is there really any harm in letting him live this fantasy, if not for just a little while? After all, if things started to get really out of hand with this, then all she has to do is tell him the truth and be done and over with. Plus, if this really was such a bad idea, then surely Rivet wouldn't have lied to him in the first place if she knows he would overreact whenever he finds out the truth.
And besides… she knew she couldn't have the guts to do it herself.
So, Kit instead gives a resigned sigh as she turns right back around on her stool, facing the bar along with Rivet, looking to her expectantly.
"Just because I won't say anything doesn't mean I approve of this mess, you know." She mutters.
Rivet chuckles as she reaches over to pat her shoulder. "Oh, come on, Kit, this isn't a mess, it's just plain old fun."
She squints at her. "You have a very strange idea for 'fun', then."
Rivet shrugs while wearing a smirk. "Hey, you're talking the girl who considers cracking heads in the Battleplex a recreational activity, I'm not like most people, in case you haven't noticed. And besides, we've been partners for what, a little over a month now? You really shouldn't be surprised at this point." She says amusedly.
Kit gives another sigh. "And yet, I still am. It seems I still have much to learn about you."
"Well, we've got a whole future together ahead of us, so you've got plenty of time for that." Rivet states, patting her shoulder once more before returning her hand to her drink. "And, hey, who knows? Maybe Junior will be a part of yours, too!"
And as she snickers at her own joke, Kit simply rolls her optics before she spots Junior flying past them to relay patrons' orders to his father, still clearly hopped up in a good mood from learning about Kat judging by the vigor behind his actions.
Well… if he's that happy about all of this, then maybe this really wasn't all that bad.
After all, what's the worst can happen?