Yay, finally managed to put out another chapter to this fic after, what, like, over a month?
Well, like they say, better late than never, I suppose.
"You're in for quite a show tonight, my fiends!" Zurkon Jr.'s high-pitched voice echoes through the roaring arena that was his Battleplex, the stands packed with cheering spectators, still riding off the high of the lively that just ended mere minutes ago. "For tonight, we have not one, but two combatants entering to fight for their lives, including a certain fan-favorite!"
He then flies over near to the entrance of the arena directly under Zurkie's pub, where a certain pair of Lombaxes stood proudly, waving to the crowd with wide grins as Junior broadly gestures to them.
"It's the Bane of Baddies, the Furry Harbinger of Death, the Vanquisher of the Emperor, it's the one, the only, RIVET!" He declares enthusiastically.
The crowd goes wild as Rivet proudly poses with her hands on her hips, reveling in the cheers and admiration of her adoring fans, all fueled by an unquenchable desire for pure destruction that only she could possibly deliver, and quite happily as well.
"And not only that, my fiends, but also her friend, erm…" He trails off as he floats by Ratchet, placing a hand on his chin. "Her friend… erm… Richard?"
Ratchet slumps from his similar hero pose as he instead returns an indignant look of disbelief. "Ratchet." He annoyedly tells him.
"Ratchet!" Junior announces, turning back to the crowd that begins to cheer yet again, but with audibly less fervor as Ratchet turns to Rivet.
"Why do you get all that applause and cool titles while he doesn't even know mine?" He asks in an offended tone, throwing his arm up at Junior as he begins to explain the challenge to the audience, being a simple 'kill as many robots as you can!'
She laughs. "Because you've gotta earn it, hotshot!" She tells him with a smirk.
"What do you mean earn it?" He replies, crossing his arms with a small pout. "I literally helped you save the entire multiverse on top of taking down Nefarious! Both of them!"
"But did you do all of that right in front of Junior?" She asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Erm, well, no?" He answers, confused.
"Then there you go. Unless Junior here gets to watch you wipe out a ton of bad guys in a blaze of glory for himself firsthand, then it may as well have never happened." She informs him with a smug grin. "Like I said, you've gotta earn the right to have him remember your name!"
"Oh, you bet I'm gonna earn it." He says with determination, grabbing his Omniwrench from his back before looking back at her with a smirk. "Especially after I beat you by taking out more of these robots than you."
In response, she turns to him with a scoff, placing her hands on her hips. "I'm sorry, I must not have heard that right, did you just challenge me?" She asks with a small, incredulous laugh.
"You're damn right I did." He responds, the smug look on his face not faltering one bit.
"Oh, ho, ho, you just made a big mistake, hotshot." Rivet tells him, also reaching for her hammer on her back before thumbing to herself. "This is my house, and I'm not about to let some scrawny newcomer just walk in here and spout garbage like that!"
"Wha—Scrawny?!" He repeats indignantly, glancing to himself.
"You heard me, noodle-arms." She replies, emphasizing her point by flexing her natural arm as it held her hammer on her shoulder.
Ratchet stares at the admittedly impressive bicep for a few moments (and can't help but admire it as well) before glancing to his own, where he found that her statement wasn't entirely incorrect. But even then, he grips onto his wrench even tighter as he looks ahead with determination, poising himself into a battle stance.
"Well, it doesn't just take muscle to kick ass, you know, just watch me." He states decisively. "May the best man win."
"You said 'woman' wrong." Rivet smugly replies, poising herself as well.
"Pretty sure I didn't."
"Now then," Zurkon Jr. declares, having finally finished outlining the challenge, "Enough talking, and more killing! Let the carnage BEGIN!"
And with that, a legion of foes appear on the other side of the arena from them as the audience begins to roar in excited enthusiasm for the imminent match, and Ratchet and Rivet exchanging one more snide remark to each other before they sprint ahead to meet their opponents head-on.
And as the sounds of screaming robots, gunfire, and wrenches/hammers crumpling screeching metal begin to fill the air to an all-too-eager Zurkon Jr.'s utter delight, Clank and Kit sit inside Zurkie's pub proper from above, seated at a table closest to the window as they watch their partners begin to quickly whittle away at their opponents' numbers.
"I have to admit it's somewhat unsettling to watch Rivet so eagerly throw herself into danger like that." Kit comments with slight apprehension. "I know she's fully capable of defending herself, but I still can't help but feel worried…"
Clank chuckles beside her, with a small cocktail of oil provided by Zurkie, kindly provided by Rivet's insistence to put it on her tab. "Do not worry, you'll get used to the feeling. Try as we both may, there's no stopping a Lombax from rushing headlong into battle. Especially if one of them has recently acquired a brand-new weapon to wield, as well." He says, nodding towards Rivet in the arena down below, happily whipping out her Devilish Disintegrator on several robots as Ratchet can't help but ask where she got it from while he slams the head off two others with his wrench.
"I suppose you're right about that that last point." Kit responds, observing her. "Especially considering that she was… very willing to acquire it yesterday as well." She adds with some reluctance.
Clank turns his head to look back at her with a peculiar expression, raising an eyebrow if he actually had one to raise. "I sense that there is something more to that statement?" He asks.
She sighs, turning in her chair to face him. "You are correct. In fact… it is what instigated Rivet and I to invite you both over here to our dimension today." She explains, nervously fidgeting with her hands clasped in front of her on the table.
He squints at her uneasily. "This… isn't preluding some sort of catastrophic news that you are about to deliver, is it?" He asks with concern.
"No, it is nothing like that, don't worry!" Kit quickly assures him, raising her hands. "It is just… I require some of your advice, is all. About a… certain matter." She says timidly.
Clank breathes an internal sigh of relief at that, but he also tilts his head curiously. "And… what is this matter, then?"
"It's… erm…" She fidgets with her hands once more, looking away. "I… need to learn how to… flirt." She explains.
He blinks. "Excuse me?"
She sighs. "I wish to know how I can effectively flirt with someone, Clank." She repeats with a little less reluctance, picking her gaze off the floor to look at him.
"I… see." He replies, taking a small sip of his cocktail as he digests this request. "And, what exactly precipitated this, then, if you don't mind me asking?"
"Well… yesterday, me and Rivet decided to visit the bazaar in Virtuous City to check and see how its civilians were doing during reconstruction." She begins.
"Virtuous City?"
"Oh, erm, it's what they decided to rename Nefarious City after the Empire fell." She clarifies. "But, anyway, Rivet eventually caught her attention on a gun that a weapons merchant was selling, but as they were discussing its capabilities, the merchant noticed me and… flirted with me." She says with some surprise, still disbelieving that it actually happened.
"What did he say?"
"He… called me pretty, and that I was as bright and beautiful as the sun." She tells him, albeit feeling very strange to repeat those words for herself.
"Did he make you feel uncomfortable, Kit?" He asks with some small concern, noticing her apprehension.
"Oh, n-no, he wasn't attempting to be harmful or malicious in his actions if that's what you're asking." She reassures him. "I'm just… not used to getting compliments, is all. Especially ones as forward and, well, flattering such as that." She says with a coy shrug.
He gives a small nod. "Alright, I was just making sure. And what happened next, then?"
"Well, he offered Rivet a discount on her weapon once he saw she was my friend, but before I could reject his advances on me, Rivet pulled me aside and told me to flirt with him back so she could get that discount, and that he wasn't really seeking to court me, either. So, I did as she said, and… I flirted back, as best I could. But, according to Rivet, it was… inadequate, to say the least." She says with some embarrassment.
"What did you say, then?" He asks curiously.
"That he had a perfectly satisfactory choice of color for his chassis." She tells him meekly. "Was… was it really that bad as Rivet said it was?"
Clank doesn't immediately respond, instead placing a hand on his chin, mulling over her statement before finally giving a hesitant nod. "Well, if your intention was to flirt instead of merely giving a compliment, then… yes, I'm afraid it wasn't the best choice of words." He admits.
She sighs. "I was afraid of that. I tried to follow Rivet's advice as best I could, but she's admitted she has absolutely no experience, so I'm afraid I cannot depend on her for this subject. But then, she explained how you would be an excellent teacher for me, and, well, here we are." She says with a broad gesture to themselves.
"And why exactly did she think that?"
"Why? Is she wrong?" Kit asks with some worry. "…Again?"
He shakes his head with an amused smile. "I wouldn't say that, it's just that I am somewhat curious as to what led her to that conclusion, is all."
"Oh, well.. she's said how Ratchet complains to her about how you are apparently flirted with constantly from a multitude of women, and that he was also jealous of you for it."
Clank chuckles. "He has voiced that sentiment to me several times over the years. Especially when I was in my prime of starring in Secret Agent Clank, having to constantly evade swarms of fangirls when we were out and about." He reminisces fondly, staring off for a moment before shaking his head to snap out of those thoughts. "But, erm, yes, I do believe that Rivet is accurate in trusting that I could be a viable source of advice for this subject."
Kit lights up. "So, are you willing to teach me how to flirt, then?"
"Of course I am, Kit." He replies warmly. "But, I have to ask, why exactly do you want to learn this? It seems that you're requesting this based off a single, isolated event that resolved quite well if the purpose was only for Rivet to get her discount. What need do you have to learn how to flirt?"
She anxiously rubs the back of her head. "Well… Rivet also suggested that because our situation appears so similar to yours and Ratchet's thus far, she theorized that it's possible that I may become constantly flirted with as you do." She says while motioning over to him. "And if that ends up being a reality, then she and I agreed that it be best I learn how to better navigate and respond to any further events that may arise just like the merchant."
Clank hums while placing a hand on his chin. "I… suppose that wouldn't be an inaccurate prediction to make. I cannot deny that I seem to have some sort of allure—as Ratchet has expressed with disdain many times—but if this idea of you and I and he and Rivet being counterparts of each other is true, then yes, I consider that a very possible reality for you to expect. Especially if you and Rivet are now renowned, respected heroes throughout the galaxy, as well."
"I admit I was somewhat hoping you wouldn't say that." She mutters, hanging her head slightly before picking it back up again to look back at him. "But… do you think you can help me, then?"
"I would be more than happy to do so, Kit." Clank assures her with a nod and a smile, taking another sip of his cocktail before placing it aside from him, and resting his clasped hands on the table in front of him. "Now, let me start off by asking you a question; how much do you already know about flirting?"
She shakes her head with a shrug. "My knowledge is practically non-existent, truthfully."
"But didn't you say Rivet gave you advice, however unhelpful it may have been?" He questions.
"Erm, well, yes?"
"So, you know something at least, and I believe it'd be best to start by helping you understand what you already know. What did she tell you, then?"
Kit rests a hand on her chin. "Well, she described that whenever people flirt, they don't do it with the intention to court someone, but as merely a way of fulfilling some sort of social contract." She explains. "And the best way to flirt back is by simply expressing the first nice thing you notice about them."
"I see." Clank comments, nodding along.
"Is she right in saying all of that, though?"
"Mmm… partially." He answers with a raised finger. "It seems that she at least grasps the fundamentals of a type of flirting. A very rudimentary understanding of it, mind you, but an understanding nonetheless, which is good."
Kit tilts her head confusedly. "Wait, a kind of flirting?" She repeats. "As in, there are different distinctions of it?"
"Of course!" He replies happily. "Like nearly all social interactions, there is a wide variety of forms that they can manifest, with flirting being no exception. But typically, I find that flirting largely occupies two main categories; flirting to genuinely attract a potential lover, and flirting to simply be kind and flattering, which I believe is what Rivet was attempting to teach you."
"And… what is the difference between them?"
"Very nuanced, to say the least. But generally, the aim with flirting with a lover is to be very personal and intimate, and to send a clear message that you find them quite attractive, and that you wish to spend time together." He explains. "But flirting merely to be kind requires a delicate touch of being impersonal enough to dissuade any further pursuits, but personal enough to not come across as cold, and instead flattering. Of which, thankfully to you, I consider myself quite experienced, having to return such flirts to countless women over the years." He says with a chuckle.
"I see…" Kit nods along, resting a hand on her chin as she digests this information. "And I'm assuming Ratchet would be a better expert on romantic flirting, then, if I wished to pursue that?"
"Oh, heavens no." Clank quickly denies, shaking his head. "He'd be a terrible teacher on the subject."
"Huh? What do you mean?" She asks in surprise, tilting her head. "Hasn't he had several girlfriends before?"
"Just two, actually." He clarifies, raising both of his digits. "But even then, the fact that he somehow managed to attract either of them with his frankly awful flirting should be considered a statistical anomaly, and promptly ignored."
"Is he really that bad?"
"Yes." He answers pointedly, before he motions out the window next to them and down to the Battleplex arena, now littered with various scrap pieces of the robotic foes as Ratchet and Rivet continue to tear apart the rest.
"You know, I've gotta admit that you might be a little bit stronger than me, I'll give you that!" He calls out to Rivet in between swings of his Omniwrench. "But maybe you could tell me your routine, I'd love to work out with you!"
"And why would you want to work out with me?" Rivet answers back, only paying him half her attention as she take out two robots with well-aimed headshots with her blaster before dispatching one more with her hammer in her other hand.
"Because, you know, I'd love to… look as muscley as that!" He finishes awkwardly, motioning over to her with a similarly awkward smile.
"…Muscley?" Rivet repeats confusedly, pausing amid her gleeful destruction to stare back at Ratchet with a befuddled look. "What does that mean?"
"See?" Clank says to Kit, gesturing to him with an unimpressed look on his face.
Ratchet's eyes widen, losing almost all of his confidence that he was carrying as he begins to try and salvage his ill-received flirt, immediately turning his full attention towards her.
"I-It's not an insult or anything, if that's what you're thinking!" He hurriedly attempts to explain himself. "I-I just meant that you're, like, well toned, and you look good! I mean, who wouldn't want to have biceps and calves and abs like those!" He says, motioning to her.
She only returns a raised eyebrow as she looks down to herself for a moment before returning her confused gaze back up to him again. But as she does, she notices a robot making its steady way towards him from behind.
She holds up a finger, pointing to it. "Uh, Ratchet?"
"Wait, I didn't mean that like I've been staring at you a lot!" Ratchet quickly continues as he realizes what he said, too flustered to notice her warning gesture. "It's just that, well, we've been hanging out a lot together recently, and I can't help but notice 'hey, she has a good build, she definitely exercises, that's cool!'"
"Ratchet, just turn—"
"But I'm not being a creep about it, either, I swear! This is just me admiring the fact that you obviously put some work into getting definition like that, and it'd be neat if I could maybe look something like that—"
"Ratchet!"
"—And I was just wondering if we could like exercise together so you could give me some tips on what you do to look as good as you do and totally not just so I can just be able to look at you some more and—"
He is unable to finish the rest of his sentence, however, as the robot that Rivet was vainly trying to warn him about finally reaches its target, and swiftly punches him in the face from his side, sending him flying down to the ground a few feet away, making Rivet facepalm while shaking her head as Kit gasps from above.
"Oh no! Is he—"
"He's fine, don't worry." Clank answers nonchalantly as he simply turns to focus back on Kit, who reluctantly looks back at him as well once she sees Ratchet get off the ground and shake his head before whipping out a blaster and popping his attacker in the head with a disgruntled scowl, returning to his fight with a renewed vigor as Rivet assures him that she could give him some workout advice later, albeit with some slight confusion.
"You see, Kit, that is exactly what you do not do when flirting someone, much less someone you are actually wishing to attract." Clank explains.
"Erm, so… you're saying that I should always be alert of my surroundings and any imminent threats to my well-being as I am in the process of flirting, so as to not repeat what Ratchet just did?" She replies uncertainly.
"That is… not what I was referring to, Kit."
"…Oh." She mutters meekly, once again beginning to anxiously twiddle her fingers upon the table as she hangs her head slightly. "I must really not be good at this."
"Well… yes." He answers pointedly, eliciting a disappointed sigh from her before he quickly raises a finger. "But, that is also exactly why we're here in the first place, so that we will change that. And even though your skills in this subject are lacking, you know what they say; Once you are at rock bottom, the only way left to go is up. It will take some work and practice on your part as you seek to rise, however, as most things do. But after witnessing firsthand all the perseverance and determination you've displayed in our first adventure, overcoming challenges and your insecurities while forging a strong bond with Rivet despite your past together, then I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that you have what it takes to rise to this challenge, Kit." He reassures her encouragingly.
She picks her gaze up from the table and instead to Clank, seeing a warm smile upon his robotic features that she slowly begins to mimic as well. "You… You really think so?" She asks.
"I know so." He says firmly. "And you should as well, for the first and arguably most important lesson that I can teach you about flirting is that you must have the utmost confidence in yourself." He explains, taking his cocktail in his hand once more. "After all, that was Ratchet's problem just now, and what I was referring to a moment ago. When he attempted to flirt with Rivet, he lacked the confidence needed to navigate the rest of the conversation, and instead had to quickly—and poorly—amend his words at her reply, which left him to spiral into a negative-feedback loop of attempting to backtrack further and further from his statement before it ends painfully when his interest is more than put off by his advance. Although, in this case, it was quite literally painful." He states with a small chuckle as he takes a sip of his cocktail.
"So… what should I do, then?" Kit asks curiously.
"Simple; Just stick to your words."
"Wait, really? That's it?"
"Really." Clank repeats with a firm nod, setting his drink down. "Because standing by what you say shows initiative, one of the key hallmarks of confidence, and with confidence, you can do nearly anything. It's the reason why our friend Captain Qwark managed to get so far ahead in life despite… well, everything else about him." He says, broadly waving a hand beside him. "And even if the flirt itself wasn't that great, if you stick by it and admit to them that it was poor, it shows humility as well, and makes you appear more charming."
"I… see." She mutters thoughtfully, looking off for a moment before returning her gaze back to him with a puzzled expression. "But, how do I even know what to say to begin with? Wasn't that my problem before?"
He shrugs. "It really depends on the individual, Kit. But I'd say Rivet had sound advice; simply compliment them on the first nice thing you notice about them. Although, I suppose for you—and Ratchet as well, by the look of it—perhaps don't say the very first thing that comes to mind. Just… take a moment to inspect them, and determine something about them that is unique only to them, and compliment them over that, for it makes your flirt more personal, and thus, more flattering to them."
"I… believe that is easier said than done in my case, Clank." She responds bashfully, resting her hands on the table while anxiously grasping them. "It is not like I have had tremendous experience meeting other people from living on Savali in relative solitude for these past years, after all, much less making an active attempt to compliment them. How do I know I will say the right thing when I flirt with them?"
"Unfortunately, like most other aspects of social interactions, you don't, Kit." He answers apologetically. "However, as is the case for nearly anything, practice makes perfect. After all, like you said, you've hardly interacted with anyone while you lived on Savali, outside of the monks, of course, and I do recall you stating how insecure and admittedly socially awkward you were in that time. But look at you now!" He says cheerfully, gesturing to her. "After only mere weeks, you have formed strong friendships with Rivet and Ratchet and I, you've travelled all over the galaxy and met with scores of individuals from countless backgrounds, and even right now, you are holding an excellent conversation without emotionally shutting down. Would the person you were back then be able to do any of that?"
"I… I suppose not." She responds, wearing a small smile as she nods her head, mulling over his argument.
"Exactly, because you've had plenty of practice and experience in dealing with others, and have grown more comfortable and confident because of it." He says with a smile. "And flirting is no different, Kit. You may stumble around and fall on your face at first, there's no doubt about it. But as long as you pick yourself up and learn from every mistake, you'll begin to walk more steadily, falling a little less, until you reach a point where you no longer feel intimidated at the prospect of flirting with someone, and instead, can navigate such a scenario with the utmost confidence and effectiveness. And I have absolutely zero doubts that you have the determination to accomplish that goal, Kit." He finishes with a firm nod.
And as Kit looks at the resolute but encouraging expression on his robotic features, the apprehension and self-doubt that was festering inside of her throughout their conversation began to evaporate as she returns a grin, feeling invigorated by his words.
"You're right. I can do this, Clank." She states decisively. "If I was able to forge a bond with Rivet and help defeat the Emperor despite my insecurities, then I can flirt with someone!"
"That's the spirit, Kit!" Clank responds happily. "There's that confidence I was talking about!"
"In fact, I believe I can do it right now!" She says as she stands up from her seat. "After all, practice makes perfect, correct?"
"Oh, erm, yes, of course!" He replies with some surprise at her sudden declaration. "I must say, I applaud the initiative you're taking, Kit."
"Thank you, Clank." She says proudly. "Now, let's do this."
She takes a quick scan over the pub, looking for an eligible subject for her to exercise her newfound confidence and advice onto. Admittedly, she didn't want to walk up to a total stranger out of nowhere, as she at least knew well enough that would be quite jarring for her flirtee, and put a general distaste on the rest of their interaction. She supposed she needed an actual reason to approach someone first, but the question of why she needed to approach them in the first place was a large obstacle.
She had no real reason to converse with any of these patrons as she glanced over the bustling pub, from the tables full of off-duty pirates, booths full of friends partaking in some revelry, and the bar with lone drinkers enjoying as much solitude as they could in a place as packed as this, getting their drinks topped off by Zurkie before thanking him with a silent nod, bringing their cups to their lips as he flies over to serve other—wait. That was it!
She mutters a small 'a-ha!' as she finds her perfect subject, and quickly turns back to her table, grabbing her cup of oil before making her way over to the bar as Clank silently but curiously observes her, taking a sip of his own cocktail.
However, as she's walking, she realizes that she's barely touched her drink, and it would prove to be more than a little awkward to ask Zurkie to fill up her cup if it did not need topping off. So, she stops for just a moment to quickly glug down at least half the cup in two quick swigs before continuing her path, her resolve unwavering.
She reaches the bar, placing her cup down onto its surface as Zurkie hovers over in only a few seconds, always being the punctual bartender he is.
"Namaste, Kit, what can I do for you?" He greets amicably, right before he pauses for a moment, glancing to his mouth. "Oh, erm, you've got a little something—"
"I would like you to refresh my beverage, please." Kit tells him with a smile, too determined in her aim to flirt to notice his comment.
"Oh, erm… sure thing!" He says with a cheerful nod while taking her cup, but not before pausing for a brief moment to give her a peculiar look.
Kit doesn't notice, however, too busy inspecting him as he flies over to the plain oil tap to top off her cup, resting a hand on her chin.
Comment on the first nice thing you notice about him, Rivet said. But not the very first thing, according to Clank, but instead something that is personal yet flattering to him. So, she supposed she would not be able to comment on his paintjob just as she did with the merchant, as he is painted just like every other Mr. Zurkon unit in the galaxy, and thus would not be personal. His finely tuned thruster unit, perhaps? No, that didn't sound quite right, either.
But as she continues to lean over slightly onto the bar to inspect him with a probing gaze that made a few other patrons at the bar glance at her with an odd look, she suddenly realizes how deftly Zurkie appears to be filling her cup like it was second nature to him, having it tilted at the perfect position to reduce the amount of splashing, and only needing to pay half his attention as he glances between it and the window to the arena outside, where Ratchet and Rivet were on the verge of completing the challenge having defeated the majority of the robot horde, and currently in the middle of a mad dash to eliminate the stragglers as quickly as they can, much to Junior and the crowd's exhilaration.
Kit believes that she has found the perfect flirt to deliver, and with a satisfied nod and smile, leans back from the bar just in time for Zurkie to shut off the tap and turn around, flying over to place her freshly-poured cup of oil in front of her with a nod.
"Here you go, Kit." He says with a friendly nod.
"Thank you, Zurkie." She replies, taking it into her hand with a smile. "But… you know, I can't help but notice just how effectively you filled my cup just now. And I must say, you fill my heart with your charm just as well as you do my cup with oil!"
Zurkie doesn't say anything as Kit stands there proudly, pleased with herself as some of the other patrons at the bar quietly snicker to themselves. But after he glances to the rest of them with a bewildered look, he turns back to Kit.
"I… erm, are you just saying I'm a good bartender?" He asks uncertainly. "Because otherwise, you are aware I am a happily married robot, right?"
"That's… um, yes! Yes, I suppose so!" Kit confirms with a nod, caught off guard in the realization that she did in fact flirt with a robot who she forgot was married. "You are my favorite bartender, Zurkie! That is indeed what I was intending!"
"I… Well… Although that was a strange way to put it, thank you, Kit, I am honored." He replies with a bow, although still wearing an expression of confusion on his face. "Is there anything else I can do for you, then?"
"Erm, nope! Not at all! That is all, Zurkie, see you soon!" She bids him farewell as she quickly turns away with a wave as she starts walking back over to her table, but not before hearing the customers at the bar teasing him for being quite the ladies' man with a laugh.
But she paid it no real mind, as she internally patted herself on the back for what she thought was a quite successful flirting interaction. Although it was a slight hiccup when she forgot that she managed to flirt with what might have been the only married individual in the entire pub, she still felt proud of herself for doing it nonetheless, evidenced by the grin upon her features as she returns to her and Clank's table, where he greeted her with an amused smile.
"Did you see that, Clank? I did it!" She says happily. "I flirted!"
"And I commend you on a good job and first big step forward, Kit." He congratulates her. "But… If I'm being honest, it still left a little something to be desired, I'm afraid."
"Huh? What do you mean?" She asks worriedly, tilting her head. "Is it because he was married? Did that make it too awkward?"
"Well, yes, now that you mention it, but I was referring to your appearance, actually." He says before pointing to the upper part of his mouth. "To this part, more specifically."
"Huh? What do you mean? Is there something—"
She takes a hand and wipes her own face to where he pointed, and looking at it, finds a giant smear of oil on it. Confused, she picks up her shiny cup, and even through the distorted reflection on it, she could see she practically had a black oily mustache from when she swigged down her drink on the walk over to the bar, not having noticed how much got on her mouth as she did so.
"…Oh." She mutters quietly in embarrassment. "That… put a slight damper on my flirt, didn't it?"
"I would be lying if I said that wasn't the case." Clank says with a small chuckle as he picks up some napkins off the table before handing them over to her, where she takes them and begins to wipe off the oil on her face. "But besides that, I must also say that you did quite well! You clearly had confidence, and you stuck by your words through the whole interaction, I'd say you did better than Ratchet."
"Wait, really? You think so?" She asks hopefully, setting the blackened napkins down on the table beside her.
"Indeed. Why, you didn't get punched in the face after flopping over your words like he did, right?"
"No, I suppose not." She affirms with a small giggle as he too chuckles along.
"But, in all seriousness, I do mean it when I say you took a big step today, Kit. All you need is more practice, and you'll be well on your way to being quite the silver-tongued devil, I guarantee it." He tells her earnestly.
She returns a glad smile. "Thank you, Clank. Not just for the compliment, but for all your help, too. I appreciate it."
"It is my pleasure, Kit. And besides, it's always a joy to spend time with you and Rivet, as well, so believe me when I say that Ratchet and I—especially Ratchet—would look for any excuse for us all to mingle together."
"I believe Rivet and I share the same sentiment as well. She was the one who proposed this idea, after all. Although, truthfully, I also believe that she mostly did it just to see Ratchet again." She says amusedly.
"It would not surprise me at all. Ratchet is the exact same way whenever he proposes a visit, even though her fervently denies it whenever I point it out. It seems as though our partners have yet to learn the art of subtlety, doesn't it?"
"That they do."
And as they both chuckle at the observation, they suddenly hear some commotion coming from behind them, and they both turn to look to see some patrons congratulating Ratchet and Rivet as they reenter the pub from the Battleplex's elevator, with the latter wearing an absolutely beaming grin while the former pouts, arms crossed with a slightly swollen eye inflicted from the robot's punch earlier.
"You only won because that stupid bucket of bolts got a lucky hit on me." He grumbles as they walk over to Clank and Kit's table.
"Hey, I tried to warn you." She states with a smug smirk and completely unapologetic shrug. "It's not my fault you were too busy rambling about my muscles and whatever. But seriously, what was all of that about?"
"It was just… erm… oh, hey, Clank! Kit! Nice to see you guys!" He quickly deflects the question, shooting finger guns at the two robots as they walk up to their table with a smile that failed miserably at hiding his nervousness as Rivet simply stares at him in confusion before rolling her eyes.
"And you as well, Ratchet." Kit greets him back with a nod. "Are you alright, though? Me and Clank watched you get injured by that robot out there in the arena."
"What? Injured? Me? Pssh, I'm fine, Kit, I've gone through worse." He dismisses her with a wave of his hand. "I am totally fine."
"Really, Ratchet?" Clank asks in an incredulous tone, crossing his arms. "Are you sure about that? I recognize that tone."
He scoffs. "What tone? I don't have a tone, Clank! I'm fine, okay?"
He doesn't respond, only simply staring back at him with an unimpressed look, prompting a stare-down between the two as Rivet and Kit exchange puzzled glances at each other.
But a few seconds later, right before either of them speak up to ask what they were doing, Ratchet concedes with a large sigh as he begrudgingly holds out a hand.
"Alright, fine, I could use a little bit of nanotech, okay?" He states with a pout.
"Of course." Clank states cheerily with a satisfied nod, reaching for a small vial of nanotech in his compartment before placing it in Ratchet's hand, to which he breaks it open in his fist before the glowing blue nanites flow into his body, where he utters a small sigh of relief after a few moments.
"Alright, yeah, that feels better." He admits.
"Well, sucks that nanotech can't heal your bruised ego after I totally kicked your ass at our competition." Rivet states smugly, breathing onto her robotic hand's fingertips before polishing them onto the fabric of her chest while smirking at him.
"Shut up, just give me a rematch and I can wipe the floor with you, easy." He argues. "I just had an off day, okay?"
"If you say so. But until that fictional day you manage to beat me in the Battleplex; suck it, hotshot." She says, crossing her arms with a grin.
"Must you two always be so competitive?" Kit asks tiredly. "I swear, you are more apt to be killed trying to show off to the other than by any kind of galactic threat."
"Hey, what can I say? When someone has the audacity to challenge my place as Queen of the Battleplex, I've gotta defend my throne!" Rivet tells her.
"Seriously?" Ratchet asks, raising an eyebrow. "You're calling yourself a queen now?"
"Damn right I am." She answers with a firm nod before returning her attention back to Kit. "So, anyway, did you and Clank talk that thing out while we were out there?"
"Oh, yes, we did!" Kit answers happily. "He was a great help!"
"That's awesome to hear, thanks for helping out, Bolts." Rivet tells him with a smile. "I knew you'd be just the person to turn to."
"And I'm flattered you two thought of me when it came to such advice." He says cheerfully.
"Wait, what are you guys talking about?" Ratchet asks confusedly. "Am I out of the loop on something?"
"It's nothing serious, Ratchet, I'll tell you later." Clank assures him as he stands up from the table, with Kit shortly following suit. "But until then, how about we stop by Rivet's home for some more fun? I believe it is your turn to host us for a visit, after all." He says with a chuckle.
"Oh, yeah, sure! I can see if the Morts are feeling up for another picnic!" Rivet says enthusiastically as they all start walking towards the exit.
"If you do, tell them to cool it on the lemonade in my soda if they're serving it again." Ratchet says. "Some things don't need lemonade in them, after all."
"I mean, I can try, but I can't promise they'll actually listen." She replies with an amused shrug.
But as they walk along, Rivet suddenly realizes something, and stops for a moment as she turns back to Zurkie at the bar while Ratchet and Clank continue walking ahead. "Oh, I've got my tab covered, right, Zurkie?"
"That you do, Rivet, don't worry!" He replies, returning a thumbs-up. "And, thank you again for the compliment, Kit! I appreciate it!"
"Oh, erm, yes, of course, Zurkie!" She replies with a small wave. "See you later!"
And as Zurkie returns a bow and a 'namaste' in farewell before resuming tending to the other customers at the bar, Rivet glances back and forth between him and Kit with a peculiar look before the realization hits her like a freighter.
"Wait… did you seriously flirt with Zurkie, Kit?" She asks in disbelief.
"I… erm… Oh, we should probably catch up to Ratchet and Clank!" Kit deflects as she simply starts walking past Rivet and back up to them, where they're standing near the entrance to the pub, looking back at them curiously.
And as Kit reaches them, apologizing for her and Rivet hanging back for a moment, Rivet simply looks at her, then back at Zurkie, and back at Kit again before shaking her head and uttering a small laugh before joining them, where they promptly walk out to Rivet's ship, ready for a fun picnic ahead of them.
You know, it didn't really occur to me how difficult it is to write a fic about flirting when you yourself aren't exactly well-versed in the art, either, but on the bright side, I think Clank's advice was going to be the hardest to write for out of everyone I've got planned, so, fingers crossed the rest of this fic goes on more smoothly.
Maybe. Hopefully. We'll see.