Disclaimer: I do not own the Fate franchise it belongs to Kinoko Nasu and Type-Moon.

This Cannot End Well

Chapter 7

"Aunt Luvia!"

Nagato excitedly ran up the stone path leading to the front porch, and practically jumped at Luviagelita 'Luvia' Edelfelt. The blonde woman raised an eyebrow in surprise at Nagato's familiarity with her, but she quickly schooled her expression, a mask of warm and familial welcome appearing on her face.

"Nagato!" she crooned, returning the boy's embrace before returning him to the floor. "You're looking well, your Aunt Rin and Sakura have been treating you properly, I see."

Nagato nodded. "Cousin Rin's been very nice too," he said. "Even if she does like scaring people."

"Well, you have to admit it can be funny." Little Rin said, materializing while draped around Sakura's neck from behind.

"…maybe…" Nagato admitted.

Luvia chuckled, before placing a hand on the little boy's back, and guiding him towards the doors. "Alright, that's enough for now." She said before gesturing at one of her maids. "Jasmine here will show you to your room, and help you get dressed. After that, we'll go do something fun."

"Like what?" Nagato asked.

Luvia beamed down at him. "Whatever you want, dear boy." She said, and the boy grinned before letting out an excited yell, running into the house with the maid hurrying after him with a polite bow at Luvia. The Lord of Edelfelt waved a goodbye, and then turning back to her cousins, let her mask drop.

"And she calls me deceptive." Sakura wryly remarked.

Luvia smacked her lips. "It runs in the blood." She said, and Sakura smirked if not saying anything more. "You've all caused a lot of trouble."

"Blame the worm." Rin snapped. "I know better than to shirk responsibility, and I'm also willing to become a scapegoat for a good cause…but Matou's good name is no good cause."

"We sent a report ahead." Sakura said. "Given your status, Lord Edelfelt, you should have access to said report, and with it known all the details and circumstances behind recent events."

"Oh, I do, on both counts, even." Luvia admitted. "Being a lord in my own right and wife to a department head has its perks. But, despite extenuating circumstances, the incident over in Fuyuki is a pretty public one, and actually has the Americans, the Japanese, and the Russians pointing fingers all over the place. In fact, if I remember correctly, various corporations have already been dragged into the mess. Normally, the affairs of mundane society don't matter to us, but when magi are behind it, and the situation could potentially result in WWIII, well…"

Luvia paused and shrugged. "…you should have brought the Matou degenerate in instead of killing him." she said. "I mean, you are Murderer Blue, Sakura, but bringing him in alive and using him as a convenient scapegoat would have served you better over living up to your reputation."

Sakura snorted. "As if I consider killing Matou as a form of murder." She said with a sneer. "No, I prefer to think of it as pest control."

"Oh, that's good." Rin agreed. "I should remember that, it could come in handy."

"Be that as it may," Luvia said with a cough. "Only the Wizard Marshal's intervention has kept the two of you from being arrested on arrival here in Britain by either the College of Law or the Eighth Sacrament. Or worse, designated as execute on sight. From my conversations with both my husband and sister-in-law, it seems the Wizard Marshal plans to have you three resolve the root of this situation, whatever it might be, among other necessary measures."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Tom said, speaking up for the first time. "Sawyers don't leave jobs half done. Besides, Mister Matou might be dead, but Jimmy won't rest in peace until all the spokes have been knocked out of that worm's wheel."

"Like I said," Rin firmly said. "I don't shirk my responsibilities."

"Likewise…" Sakura said with a nod. "…you really don't mind watching Nagato while we're busy at the Clock Tower? Shinji might be dead, but that son of a bitch was a schemer. I wouldn't put it past him to have a dirty trick or two to keep his schemes going ever after he's dead."

"As I said over the phone, I don't mind." Luvia said. "He's family, after all, and we look out for each other."

"Funny…considering how Edelfelt practically left Tohsaka on its own devices for decades, enabling Tokiomi and Aoi…" Sakura dryly noted. "…to say nothing of our…acidic, relationship, until recently…"

"…I will concede the former point," Luvia ground out, a vein throbbing on her forehead at the stupid pride of her grandmother and father over neglecting to bring Tohsaka to heel, allowing the sociopath Tokiomi and his delusional wife to ruin her cousins' shared childhood. "But you can hardly blame me for treating you as I did, when you practically indulged in your reputation as a sororicidal sociopath."

"It is hardly my fault most of the magi present here in London couldn't be bothered to see past my reputation." Sakura snapped back. "Besides, it was useful, and still is. That, and until recently I couldn't be sure of my sister's safety should our secret have been exposed."

"Didn't you previously say that none of us ever asked?"

"Oh, yes. I did say that, didn't I?"

"SAKURA!"

"Alright, that's enough." Rin cut in, looking crossly at both her sister and cousin. "Stop being such a pair of territorial hyenas already, there are more important things to do."

Little Rin snickered as both Luvia and Sakura crossed their arms and looked away, while Rin sighed and palmed her face. "Anyway," she continued. "We'll leave Nagato with you, Lord Edelfelt. In the meantime, we'll head over to the Clock Tower and get started on what needs doing."

"I wish you luck then, cousins." Luvia said with a small bow. "And don't worry, no matter what, the boy is in safe hands."

"We'll hold you to that." Sakura said, and Luvia scoffed.

"I would expect nothing less." She said, before her expression softened. "Take care, cousin."

"Likewise." Sakura said, before looking at her companions and trading nods with each other. Then with final nods at Luvia, they walked away, headed out of the Edelfelt estate in the London suburbs, and back to the city proper, where the Clock Tower waited.

"Hey, hey! You three! Come here!"

Zelretch was waiting for Rin, Sakura, and Tom in the Clock Tower foyer, annoyed glares causing other magi and even lords to scurry away. "Sakura, I can understand. Murderer Blue, and all that." He said, leading the way as the Enforcer and two Blues fell into step behind him. "Besides, it's not like I gave her specific instructions. Rin, though? I remember explicitly telling you to be subtle! And you! Sawyer! I also explicitly remember telling you to keep Rin and Sakura from getting out of hand!"

Zelretch paused his tirade to wave a hand, causing a translucent screen to float next to him. "Tell me, my lord and ladies." He said silkily. "What was subtle and not out of hand with that?"

The three in question looked at the screen, and watched CNN, BBC, NHK, and TASS news reports showing various perspectives of their car chase in Fuyuki, complete with gunship action. The CNN news report even featured satellite footage of the Learjet exploding at the private airport outside of Fuyuki.

"…twenty-two cars…five trucks…twelve buildings…a plane and helicopter each…" Zelretch muttered in exasperation, reading from a report handed to him by a very nervous clerk, the five of them standing in front of a glowing portal leaving to his office. "…how did you crash a plane?"

"We didn't crash…" Tom began, trailing off as Zelretch vanished while moving with superhuman speed to throw one of his office furniture out a window with the crash of breaking glass. Looking lost, Tom looked at Rin and Sakura. Rin shrugged, while Sakura sighed, and with a sigh of his own, Tom led the way into the office, the portal closing behind them.

Thankfully, though, it didn't take long before Zelretch cooled down, the ancient vampire sitting behind his desk with a glass of blood in his hand. And on the desk, a chilled bottle labelled AB+ had the three magi looking away from its direction.

"…alright, positives." Zelretch began with a forced smile and a drink of blood. "Thankfully, aside from Matou's hired guns only two policemen actually died on the line of duty. Also, no one was actually seen doing magic in public. That's enough for me to get both the College of Law and the Eighth Sacrament to ease up so long as I pay for the cover-up and behind-the-scenes mediation between the White House and the Kremlin out of my own pocket. I…really, don't need to lose a potential successor, another potential successor who's also a promising apprentice, and one of the Clock Tower's better Enforcers, to all this political bullshit."

Zelretch took another drink of blood. "How about things on your end?" he asked.

"Nagato's safe here in London." Sakura said. "Lord Edelfelt's watching over him right now."

"Shinji Matou's also dead, which is a positive all things considered." Rin pointed out.

"…except that even if he's dead, that…thing, he put together in Fuyuki which somehow subverted Ruby is still active." Zelretch said. "We also don't know how far this scheme of his goes…or how he was even able to get it to work the way it did."

"…could Zouken Matou be behind it?" Sakura offered after a moment.

"It's possible." Zelretch said, taking another drink. "He'd have the intellect and the means to do it, while using Shinji as cover, made all the easier by that degenerate's arrogance. It wouldn't be too hard for someone like Zouken to manipulate Shinji into enthusiastically making himself the face of this scheme, if only to stroke his ego. That said, given the extent of Zouken's mental and spiritual degradation…"

Zelretch paused and shook his head. "…I'm not entirely certain he could have the motivation to pull something like this off." He said.

"Don't be so sure, master." Rin pointed out. "As degraded as he was, he still pulled off that mad scheme to try and puppet a corrupted Heroic-Divine Spirit by turning my sister into its vessel. If anything, his degradation might only make him more likely to pull off scheme like this, by making him reckless and all too willing to try something that might just blow up in everyone's faces."

Zelretch's face was so sour it could curdle milk. "Don't remind me." He said, vividly remembering certain timelines where Sakura Matou had evolved into the Beast of Retribution and everything that involved. "Sawyer, you don't want to see your timeline pruned, do you?"

"Of course I don't." Tom said at once. "It's home, no matter what. I mean, sure, Missouri still exists in this timeline, but it wouldn't be the same. I'm not even sure if I or my family exist in this timeline, and even if they do, well…awkward, would be the adjective to use to describe meeting them."

"No doubt…" Zelretch said while finishing his drink. "…you want to save your timeline, you need to end Matou's scheme. Whatever it is they're doing with Ruby, it's fracturing the space-time continuum, the cracks spreading outward from Fuyuki City."

Tom set his jaw. "Whatever it takes." He said.

"Good man." Zelretch said while pouring himself another glass of blood. "As for you two, you'll be tagging along with Tom this time. Everyone who needs to know knows Matou's behind this mess, and there's no way to get you out of dancing from ropes unless you personally put an end to whatever insanity they're up to. On the plus side, considering how bad things have gotten there, well, subtlety isn't really a requirement anymore."

"You don't say?" Sakura asked with a small smile.

Zelretch gave her a look. "Couldn't you have just teleported yourselves to the airport?" he asked crossly.

"I don't have long-range teleportation ability," Sakura replied. "Not without nuking the target site."

"Weren't you supposed to be working on a teleporter matrix for instantaneous travel across Fuyuki City?" Zelretch pressed.

"I haven't spent much time in Fuyuki lately to really get any work on it done, unfortunately." Sakura pointed out. "And I might even have to shelve it indefinitely, given my recent realignment with Lord El-Melloi."

Zelretch's face went sour again, though less so compared to earlier. "So…" Tom began, eager to get things back on track. "…to keep my timeline from getting pruned, I just need to shut down whatever abomination Matou's grown or built or whatnot in my timeline's Fuyuki?"

"Yes." Zelretch said before glancing at Rin and Sakura. "If you have to, destroy that version of Ruby. God knows how badly it's been corrupted by whatever it is Matou's done to it."

"And it's an AI with reality-breaking powers." Sakura said grimly. "I've watched the Terminator and Matrix films. I know what happens when AI go crazy."

"Just one problem." Rin said. "Ruby is, well, indestructible. So how do we even crack it?"

In response, Zelretch looked at Sakura. "You already know one way, don't you, Murderer Blue?" he asked wryly. "Or at least theorize it could work."

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

Zelretch stared at her evenly, while Rin and Tom looked at her curiously. Sakura's eye twitched, and making a sound of displeasure, scratched at her head.

"Have you gone completely insane?" Rin asked incredulously. "Keeping samples of Grail mud…do you have any idea how dangerous those can be?"

"Of course I do." Sakura said with a roll of her eyes. "I already knew even before you told me about, well, the other me, and what she could do with the Shadow. Don't worry, though. I'm not stupid enough to even think of trying to replicate that. I know what the Grail does to spirits, Kirei said as much at the end of the last war."

"But you're still keeping it!" Rin snapped.

Sakura pursed her lips. "Rin," she began. "While I'm mostly known for my spatial manipulation magecraft, I'm also an expert demonologist. I have an entire tome's worth of True Names in my head, and I can summon and bind demons by simply speaking those names. And I'll have you know that it's not as simple as it sounds. Knowing and speaking a True Name isn't enough, if you can't back thought and action up, simply trying will tear a magus apart from the inside-out."

"So you're telling me studying the Grail mud is just an extension of your studies into demonology?"

"Yes."

Rin pinched her nose. "I understand that having Imaginary Numbers makes you very suitable for spiritual invocation." She eventually said. "But couldn't you have chosen a…safer, specialization? Necromancy, even?"

"Necromancy? Ew, no, that's totally disgusting."

Rin sighed. "How did you even get your hands on Grail mud?" she asked.

"When then-Lord El-Melloi II disassembled the Grail," Sakura explained. "I snuck past the containment zone and drained the mud from the Grail proper."

"…you're crazy."

"Genius and insanity are two sides of the same coin."

Rin pinched her nose and sighed again. "So," she began. "How exactly do you plan on using the Grail mud to destroy the presumably-corrupted Ruby? Before even that, how are you storing the Grail mud safely?"

"At the most basic level…?" Sakura asked back. "Each sample is kept in a lead bottle. I'm sure you're aware of the alchemical principles of lead that make it useful for that role."

"Lead…inert, non-reactive to both chemical and magical means, relatively-durable…"

Sakura nodded. "The bottles are stored in silver cases, bound with chains made from meteoric iron, both engraved with anti-demonic wards sanctified with blood sacrifices." She said, deciding to leave out the details of what 'blood sacrifices' actually entailed. "They're then further warded by being placed in stasis bubbles, kept in Imaginary Numbers Space and set to implode into Null Space should even the smallest containment breach be detected."

Rin stared at Sakura. "What." She began. "Do. Blood Sacrifices. Mean."

Sakura sighed. "I wasn't killing virgins or children, if that's what you mean." She said. "I do have standards, you know. But I did need the blood of someone…pure, in spirit, if the wards were to work without actually killing innocents."

"So you bled someone." Rin concluded. "Who? Did you even ask for their consent?"

"Yes, she gave her consent." Sakura crossly snapped, insulted at the insinuation she'd bleed someone without their consent. Well, if they were an enemy, sure, but that wouldn't work for the rituals they were talking about. "As for who…well, you've already met her. Or rather, you've met two different versions of her."

"…a pure person I've met two different versions of…oh, for goodness' sake, Caren Ortensia?"

Sakura beamed while Rin palmed her face. "How does she even count as spiritually pure?" she demanded. "Why would she even consent to something like this?"

"She trusted me, that's why." Sakura replied. "Strange, I know, but still true. She believed I would use the Grail mud's potential for constructive uses, and in that way, give Angra Mainyu a chance at…atonement, and redemption, by becoming more than a mindless mass of curses seeking to consume and destroy Humanity."

"That's insane!"

"And that's why she's spiritually-pure. In defiance of all conventional logic, and the basic principles of demonology and spiritual invocation, Sister Ortensia wholeheartedly believed that she could grant absolution to Angra Mainyu through my using the Grail mud for constructive purposes."

Rin wanted to bang her head against the nearest wall. She didn't, but only just. "…do you even know how you can use that…stuff, in any way?" she asked instead, deciding that further focus on Kirei Kotomine's daughter might actually give her a stroke before long.

"Actually, yes." Sakura said before grimacing. "Unfortunately, it's a bit too…flashy."

"Using that to destroy Ruby would be like using a nuclear bomb to kill a mouse." Little Rin finally chimed in.

"Don't worry, though." Sakura cheerfully added. "I'll figure out a way to scale it down. As the Wizard Marshal said, it should be enough to break Ruby's protections and destroy that version of the mystic code for good."

"I'm getting a really bad feeling about this…" Rin muttered.

"If it helps, I can show you my research notes." Sakura offered.

Rin looked at her dully, torn between the temptation of seeing mystical secrets able to harness a dead god's power in this day and age, and knowing just how…destructive, Angra Mainyu's powers were. In an effort to stave off the temptation, at least for a while, she decided to just change the subject.

"On another note," she began. "Why was Lord Zelretch looking so sour about you now working for Lord El-Melloi?"

"Oh, that." Sakura said before giving a cough, while Little Rin snickered. "Well, I can't really say. Not without permission from the other people involved…but I can tell you it had something to do with Lord El-Melloi sending me on an expedition to the Crimea a few months ago."

"What did you do, Sakura?" Rin asked with a sigh.

Sakura snickered in her turn. "If you really want to know," she began. "Go ask Lord Edelfelt. She doesn't need anyone's permission to tell you, and I'm sure she'll get a good laugh out of it again. Oh, and whatever you do, don't ask Lord Beckenstein. Not unless you want to scrub floors for the next month or two, like what happened to a couple of poor bastards from Modern Magecraft Theories caught gossiping about it."

"…I'll take your word for it." Rin said after a moment, already resolved to ask Luvia as soon as she could.

What happened in the Crimea?

A/N

You might wonder why Zelretch actually got pissed instead of simply exasperated unlike what happened in Trifas in the previous story. Well, the Trifas Incident took place in the countryside, so there wasn't exactly a wealth of witnesses. Even the mass aurora event could just be chalked up to strange weather/solar/cosmic phenomenon. You could even spread stories about aliens in the tabloids to muddy the water even further.

*insert random History Channel alien 'expert' here*

Fuyuki, though? Plenty of witnesses to a violent car chase involving gunships, shootings, and explosions. Thankfully – aside from the bad guys – only a couple of cops died, but a lot of cars were totaled, to say nothing of damaged buildings. There's also that plane that exploded, which – coincidentally – was picked up on satellite. So yeah, he got pissed, especially since he told Rin (who really should know better considering her trial at the end of Heaven's Feel) and Tom to keep it subtle.

But, since no magic was actually seen being used in public, it still manages to work out. As long as Rin and Sakura personally put an end to the root cause of this incident, the College of Law and the Eighth Sacrament are willing to overlook their involvement.

That, and Zelretch has to pay for the costs of cover-up and keeping WWIII from beginning out of his own pocket.

Yes, Sakura has Grail mud samples. And why shouldn't she? Meta-wise, it is associated with her character, with it having assimilated into her circuits in canon, so her having samples of the stuff is a way to retain that aspect of her character even without being raped and tortured. That, and it can be used constructively, seeing as Kama isn't actually evil, and she's basically using Dark Sakura's body as a host.

And in-story terms, she dabbles in demonology, so it would also be natural for her to take an interest in that stuff when Waver eventually got around to shutting down Heaven's Feel.