Chapter 8
I Was Stupid, So Stupid
Sayaka continued to hammer into Elsa Maria with her sword, not even stopping until Asuna couldn't hold herself back anymore, summoning Oathkeeper to her hand, and charging into help her. Horrified, Kirito raced after her, until the labyrinth began to crumble around them.
"Shutting out the pain's pretty easy, once you figure out how to do it. This way, I'll never lose another fight," she said, as she used her powers to heal her wounds.
"Sayaka, you have to stop this. Once you start losing yourself to darkness, you'll be destroyed by it," Mami interjected, as she walked up to her.
But Sayaka didn't listen, as she picked up the grief seed containing the witch inside, and tossed it to Kyoko.
"You can have it. That's what you're here for, isn't it?" the bluette said to the redhead.
"Sayaka, please, don't antagonize her like this," Ruby said, trying to calm her friend down.
"She's right," agreed Kyoko.
"We're even now. I don't owe you anything. Got it?" remarked Sayaka as she marched away.
She told the others that they were leaving, as Kyoko looked back at her rival. Madoka was now growing even more worried, as she saw Sayaka revert to her usual self, only to collapse in her arms.
"Sorry, I'm just a little tired," she said wearily.
"We'd better get her back home," Sora said to the others, as he decided to carry her bridal style, despite Kyoko's annoyance.
"That idiot," she glowered in frustration.
Moments later after Elsa Maria was beaten, Sayaka, Madoka, and the others were now sitting on a bench waiting for the bus, when the rain came down.
"Sayaka, you can't fight like that," Madoka said fearfully.
Sayaka didn't respond, until Sora stood up.
"I agree with Madoka. You shouldn't lie to yourself about how you're hurting, no matter how hard it feels to try and ignore all the pain inside you. And to tell you the truth, you're starting to become immoral in your actions as General James Ironwood did, before we found out he was destroyed by his own deluded ambitions from Cinder Fall," he explained.
"I don't have the knack for it. I don't fight like that, I can't win," replied Sayaka.
"You're wrong, Sayaka. No matter how many battles you win, eventually you'll come to realize that your greatest enemy isn't the witches, it's yourself. You need to understand that," protested Asuna.
"Then what is good for me?" the bluette asked, startling them.
The rain poured down harder than before, as Sayaka showed them her soul gem.
"I've been turned into a monster. How can anything ever be good for me ever again?" she added.
"Because you're losing faith in the light, and in your friends," answered Leafa.
"All I can do now is kill witches. That's my new purpose in life. I'm useless otherwise. I'm just a walking corpse pretending to be still alive. Who's gonna help me now? The way I am, who'd want to? Why even think about it?" Sayaka said coldly.
"Sayaka, we all want to help you. We may not know how we can make you go back to your 'believer-in-justice' attitude, but you can't force Madoka to fight for something she doesn't want at all," interjected Sora.
"And why do you care, Sora?" demanded Sayaka.
"Because we're friends, Sayaka Miki. You may not know this, but we've all been friends for as long as we can remember, ever since we first met each other before we got entangled in this mess between Magical Girls and Witches," he answered.
"Well, you're forgetting that Kyubey told me that Madoka has more potential than any of us. She could fight the darkness without any problems, and not even suffer as I am," scoffed the bluette, only for Yang to punch her in the face.
"That's enough, Sayaka! Stop thinking that you're ignorant about how you feel for a change, and listen to me! You know what Madoka would do if she were in any of our positions? She'd tell you to not make the same mistakes Riku, Sunset, and Starlight made without thinking about the consequences of your actions. That's what she'd tell you," snapped the blonde brawler.
"Yang, please!" Mami said worriedly, as she rested her hand on her shoulder.
Yang took a few deep breaths, but as she did, Sayaka snapped about how Madoka would never give up her own humanity for any of her friends for the sake of pity, even as she tried to argue about it, but the bluette had heard enough by calling her a weakling who would always sit around doing nothing, and stormed away into the downpour, while also telling her not to follow her, leaving Sora in a state of shock.
"Sayaka," he murmured quietly.
But the moment she did, the poor girl began to weep at how she said the horrible things to her friend, as the tears started rolling down her cheeks, and admitted that she was truly at fault, which in turn caused her soul gem to slowly be enveloped by darkness. However, inside her apartment, Homura, Kyoko and a reluctant Mami, who agreed to help out after patching things up with the redhead and forming a temporary truce with her, were now discussing their plans about dealing with Walpurgistnacht, and how they would have to defeat this far more dangerous witch, as the redhead began eating her ramen. The dark-haired girl pointed at a location on the map.
"Walpurgisnacht is supposed to appear here," she said.
"Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?" she asked.
"Statistics," replied Homura.
"I see," said Mami.
"Huh. I've never heard of Walpurgisnacht showing up here before," added the redhead.
"And where is it that you managed to get these statistics of yours?" asked Mami.
Homura didn't answer either of them.
"Look, we don't have to trust each other and be all BFFs or anything. But you think you could maybe give us an idea of what's going on?" she asked.
"I was wondering the exact same thing," Kyubey said, when he arrived unexpectedly.
"So were the rest of us, Homura. Also, before you do anything rash, Kyoko, it's probably best if you let me give you a proper explanation," added Kenton, who followed him with Team KRYYSTAAL at his side.
"Wait, what do you mean?" questioned Mami.
"According to Sora, Sayaka's gone mad. Not only by the fact that she's been abusing her power as a magical girl, but the darkness is slowly starting to take control of her. And from Kyubey's point of view it means that a terrible curse is starting to form inside her soul gem," he explained.
"I don't doubt that she'll cause quite a bit of trouble, even before Walpurgisnacht arrives. You'd best be on your guard," added the catlike being.
Mami was horrified by what she heard, even as Kiba placed a comforting arm around her, even as Kyoko became confused, only to hear Kyubey telling her to ask Homura about it, as she would provide her with an answer. But like before, the raven haired girl didn't answer, until Kyubey voiced his curiosity about the things she knew, but withheld from the others, until he was told to leave, after hearing enough from him, prompting the creature to turn and walk away.
"Great. You're just gonna let him go?" demanded Kyoko.
"There's no point trying to kill that creature. Take my word," replied Homura.
"As for the trouble that Sayaka's in, I believe that this curse within her soul gem is about to unleash something terrible from within, much like how Vanitas is the darkness in Sora's heart. After all, from what I've learned from a book called 'The History of Magical Girls and Witches,' when a magical girl's soul gem has become too steeped in darkness, there's no point in it being purified, which could result in a terrible omen, the likes of which none of you will be prepared for," explained Akeno.
The news was horrifying to listen too, but by the next day, Madoka was still worried about Sayaka, even during class time, and was now upset about how she let her friend go, despite wanting to follow her. Even after class had ended, Kyosuke was now walking home with Hitomi, which made him surprised.
"Wait, I don't think I've ever seen you walking home this way before. How come? Did you move this way or something?" he asked.
"Actually, my house is in the exact opposite direction," she answered.
"Okay, then why are you walking this way?" questioned Kyosuke.
"Kyosuke, there's something I've been wanting to tell you," replied Hitomi, which made him bewildered.
"She hasn't come home since yesterday? Oh, yes. I understand. Okay, thank you very much," Madoka said to what she knew were Sayaka's parents.
The poor girl was now growing even more concerned, and soon became determined to find her friend, but at the same time, Hitomi and Kyosuke began talking to each other about their feelings. What neither of them knew was that Sayaka was watching and listening from nearby, until she was now fighting more witches in many more labyrinths in a blind fury, as the darkness slowly began to overtake her, not even caring about anyone or anything about how angry she was at not being able to tell Kyosuke how she felt, and fearing that Hitomi had won over his heart. She began to hyperventilate as her soul gem was slowly becoming darker and darker, until Homura showed up, followed by Trish.
"Why can't you understand?" she asked.
"You know that you shouldn't try and do something stupid like throw your own life away. Hunting witches is something you need to do," added the bewitching devil.
"Shut up! I don't need your advice," barked Sayaka.
"Your soul gem is at its limit. You need to purify it now," insisted the dark-haired girl.
She tossed her a grief seed, but the bluette kicked it away.
"What is this? What are you up to?" she demanded.
"Sayaka, listen to me. You need to restore your light, or the darkness will destroy you. All we're trying to do is help you, unless you want to be resentful of whatever idea we have about you," argued Trish.
"Well, I'm gonna be a different kind of magical girl. That's what I decided. I'm not gonna screw anyone over or take anyone for granted. I won't associate with anyone who does. I don't need anyone's thanks, I'll be the only magical girl around who doesn't use her magic for herself," remarked Sayaka.
"That's not the way, Sayaka Miki. I know that both your friends, Madoka and Sora will be heartbroken, if they see you truly be destroyed by the darkness," came another voice, which turned out to be Kenton.
"So what? If I lose myself to darkness, it means that I'm not gonna kill witches anymore. No one's gonna need me anyway, right? I'm okay with that," quipped the bluette.
Then she dropped to her hands and knees.
"The world doesn't even need a magical girl, if she can't even kill a witch," she added.
"Then perhaps I can arrange your demise, Sayaka Miki," Sephiroth said when he landed between her and Homura.
He turned towards the bluette.
"I can sense that you're unwilling to trust Homura, even though she wants to try and help you. I can see it in her mind. She's seen many versions of Madoka, Mami, Kyoko, and yourself be destroyed by the darkness, multiple times before. Perhaps it's this irregular entity that's chosen to forsake everything for the purpose of ensuring that the one she cherishes should not be destroyed by the darkness. All she says is nothing but an illusion to you, because you've chosen the way of the lost cause," he grinned wickedly.
"Don't you realize that she's just making Madoka suffer more and more?" demanded Homura, who glared angrily at him.
"Oh, you need not remind her of that girl you wish to save. Sayaka believes that there's nothing more to do with her any longer. However, everything truly does revolve around Madoka Kaname, no matter what you say. After all, Homura's morality is truly in the middle, where she doesn't care about whether someone lives or dies, and that she refuses to let your only true friend see you becoming the monster that you feared most of all," remarked the One-Winged Angel.
"Whether your words are lies created to deceive me. Or the truth, that I've been searching for all my life. It makes no difference," scoffed the bluette.
Then she slowly stood up and glared at Sephiroth.
"Rot in Hell, Sephiroth," she added.
"Then you will die a broken fool, Sayaka Miki, since you're unable to ask for anyone's help in saving you, and Madoka's suffering will come to an end, while Sora becomes Vanitas and accepts my offer to be my apprentice," remarked Sephiroth, and he raised Masamune above him, when Kyoko arrived.
"LEAVE HER ALONE!" she shouted, stopping the One-Winged Angel, by deflecting the killing blow with her spear.
Quickly she ordered Sayaka to run for her life, and the bluette trudged away as the battle began.
"What is the matter with you!? You were gonna let him kill her, don't you realize that!?" she asked sharply.
"I know that, Kyoko," replied Homura, even as she saw Sephiroth force the redhead back.
"So you believe that by stopping time in its tracks, you'd still dispose of her, even if you tried to avert it," smirked the silverette.
But Homura activated her time shield, pulled out a flash bang, and used it to make a daring escape, just as Kyoko jumped back. When the blinding light cleared, they saw that she was gone.
"Go ahead, anomaly. Let the chase begin," grinned Sephiroth, as Kyoko cursed herself.
On a train, Sayaka sat alone, as she heard two punks talking about how they wanted to make any girl hand over all the money that they had, and that they deserved to be treated like garbage, which angered her even more than before, even as the conflict within her mind grew worse and worse, until she finally snapped, and demanded to know about the girls they were talking about, then began explaining how the girls they knew loved them and tried to make them happy, but sat around calling them rude names, only to cast her aside. Neither of the punks knew who she was, until Sayaka asked them if the world they cherished was worth protecting, when her darkness became even more unstable, and destroyed them in an instant. At the same time, Madoka was still wondering where her friend was, as she continued looking for her, then stopped near a bench.
"I bet you're upset with me, too. Aren't you?" Kyubey asked from nearby.
"In all honesty, we are, even though you know you can't turn Sayaka back into her normal self," remarked Sora, who arrived, despite hearing everything.
"You're right. It's beyond my power to do so," he said.
"Hey, you remember when you told me I could become a really powerful magical girl if I wanted? Was that for real?" Madoka asked the cat who clambered onto the bench and sat beside her.
"Really powerful doesn't even begin to describe it. Your power's limitless, you'd be the strongest magical girl in the Realm of Light," answered the catlike creature.
"Even if that were true, and Madoka did make a contract to be her own kind of magical girl, do you believe that Sayaka would still agree to be one?" questioned Sora.
"Sayaka was responsible for her own wish. Madoka had nothing to do with her own decision," remarked Kyubey.
"Why am I the powerful one?" Madoka asked somberly.
"I have no idea. The truth is your power is on a scale that theoretically shouldn't be possible. I want someone to come and explain it as much as you do," replied the creature.
"Even if Madoka could really do something like that, and perform something more than just miracles, as well as twist the fabric of almost every reality of her own volition, that's not her style. As for why you believe she's been chosen to have this power from the very beginning, it doesn't really make any sense at all," said Sora.
"You know, I never thought that there was anything all that special about me. I always thought I'd just stumble through life, not really amounting to anything much. Never being able to help any one, or ever being of use at all. It was really frustrating and I felt all alone, but there wasn't anything I could do about it," explained the pinkette.
"That's not true, Madoka. And to be honest, even if Kyubey believes you could ascend and be on par with all the gods that created the Realm of Light, including Kingdom Hearts itself, I don't think you should try and do the stuff that this guy would do at all. But, at the same time, I don't believe it'd be a good idea to make a contract with him at this moment, just so you could bring Sayaka back to her senses. Quite frankly, in my opinion, that would be a terrible plan, even if it was for her sake, but I still won't give up on her, even though I'm not really capable of contracting with Kyubey, as I've said before many times," replied Sora, until…
BANG!
Kyubey was suddenly riddled with heavy cannon fire and collapsed onto the ground, shocking him and Madoka. Both turned around and saw Homura, who was both shocked at what she had heard.
"What'd you do!? You didn't have to kill him!" she gasped.
"You idiot. Why do you do that? Why do you always sacrifice yourself like that? Calling yourself useless and meaningless. That's something both Sora and I can't tolerate! Don't you even realize that your death would break his heart!? Stop being such a fool! I know for a fact that your death would free Vanitas! Why can't you understand that!? Can't you understand that you're being misled!?" cried Homura, as her eyes filled with tears, which made Sora suddenly begin to feel sympathy for her.
"Homura!" they said together.
But suddenly, something in Madoka's mind clicked.
"I get the feeling we've done this before," said the pinkette.
"What do you mean?" questioned Sora.
"I don't know, but it feels like we've met before," replied Madoka.
"I can't…" Homura tried to say, but she choked on her words, and began to weep tears of sorrow.
"Homura," he murmured, as he knelt down and rested his hand on her shoulder.
"I get it now. You're worried about Madoka because of something terrible that'll happen to her. I can feel it in your heart, because of our connection," Sora added.
"But, Sora, I…" choked the dark-haired magical girl, only to feel his arms wrapping around her.
"Listen, I get how you feel, Homura Akemi. I'm also worried about Madoka just as you are. You don't need to hold back your emotions any longer," he assured her.
Nodding sadly, Homura hugged Sora back, and wept for as long as she needed to, as Madoka apologized and told her that she needed to look for Sayaka.
"Please be careful, Madoka," he warned her.
"I will," replied Madoka, and she rushed away, even as Homura broke the hug and tried to call for her.
"You knew there was no point in doing that. You don't learn, do you?" Kyubey said.
Both Sora and Homura looked up and saw another variant of him standing nearby in the shadows.
"I have plenty of spares, you know. But don't make me use them up for no reason, it's such a waste" he added.
The creature jumped down and devoured the remains of the previous Kyubey that had been obliterated, until there was nothing left of it, then he looked upon Homura.
"You know, that's the second time you killed me. But this time, you showed me what your technique is. That was time manipulation, wasn't it?" the catlike creature mused.
"Wait. So that means Homura can control space and time?" Sora asked in surprise.
"That she does. I suspected for a while, but I wasn't sure. She's not from this time at all, in fact," replied Kyubey.
"I know what you really are, and I know what you're planning," Homura said.
"Aha, so that's why you've been trying so hard to spoil my plans," remarked the creature.
"Then that must mean you want to make it so that Madoka's future is bright instead of dark" added the brunette Keyblade Master.
"I do, and I'm gonna do whatever it takes to stop that creature no matter what. That's why his species is called Incubator," explained Homura, just as Sora raced after Madoka.
Somewhere in a train station, Kyoko finally reached Sayaka after she saw her sitting on a bench.
"Finally, I found you," she said, as she sat beside the bluete and began eating chips.
"So how much longer you gonna do the stubborn thing, huh?" Kyoko asked.
"I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble," Sayaka replied quietly.
"Seriously? Doesn't sound like you at all," said the redead.
"Yeah, you're right. I guess I just don't care anymore. I can't remember what was so important. What was worth protecting, you know? It's all a blank now, it doesn't make sense now," explained the bluette.
But when Kyoko tried to cheer her up, she was suddenly startled by the fact that Sayaka's soul gem was now truly being infused with darkness, which suddenly frightened her.
"Balance means good and evil have to zero themselves out, right? That's what you said, or something like it. I think I understand what you mean now. The good thing is, I did save a few people, but the bad thing is I got even angrier, and my heart filled up with envy and hate. It got so bad, I even hurt both of my friends," she explained.
"Sayaka, you're soul gem!" cried Kyoko.
"For all the happiness you wish for someone, someone else gets cursed with equal misery. That's how it works for magical girls, and that's how it is for me," continued Sayaka.
Then her eyes welled up with tears, until one of them started falling towards her darkening soul gem.
"I was stupid. So stupid," she finished.
Suddenly, her tear landed on the soul gem, and all the darkness within burst out like a volcano spreading smoke and ash around it. The shockwave sent Kyoko flying back, until she saw it shatter and turn into a grief seed, which grew bigger and stronger, meaning that the witch within was now awakening from its slumber, as Kyoko called Sayaka's name, as her physical body became lifeless, and flew off into the distance. Far away, Kyubey noticed the rising darkness that he saw ahead of him.
"In this world, you call females who have yet to become adults, girls. It makes sense then, that since you'll eventually become witches, you should be called magical girls," he said as he watched on top of the crane.