"HOORAY!" Red shouted, bursting out of the Poké Mart. "WE'RE BROKE NOW!"
"I can't believe he actually managed to buy Poké Balls," said Jay.
They walked east, toward the towering, rocky peak of Mt. Moon—and toward Route 4, the fields and meadows at the mountain's foot.
"I wonder what kind of Pokémon he'll catch," said Jay.
"We ought to consult the Helix on such matters," said Pidgeotto.
"No way," said Abby. "Consult the Nugget!"
Red rubbed the S.S. Ticket against his ear.
"Look, guys!" said Jay. "He's consulting the S.S. Ticket!" Jay bowed. "Praise the S.S. Ticket!"
Abby and Pidgeotto gave him perplexed looks.
"Um, Jay," said Abby, "what the hell are you talking about?"
"How can a ticket give advice?" said Pidgeotto. "That is nonsensical."
"Well… I'm just… you know…" Jay stuttered. "Like the Helix, or the Nugget…"
"Boy, you've really lost it," said Abby.
"The pressure of training has warped his mind," Pidgeotto said darkly.
"Seriously. I mean, he's worshipping a ticket now. Poor guy."
"Very funny, you guys," Jay said, laughing nervously. "I mean—it's a joke, right? You guys are messing with me, right? Right?"
~·~
Start Time: 1d 23h 0m
~·~
[All right! RATTATA was caught!]
"CATCH ALL THE RATTATA!" said Red. "Rattata only no items Final Destination."
"Well, two Rattata are better than one," said Abby.
"Heck, yes!" said Jay. "The more, the merrier."
Jay opened the Poké Ball. Light blared out of it. The light took shape and materialized, becoming a small, purple rat—almost identical to Jay.
"Welcome to the team, Rattata," said Abby.
"Yeah," the Rattata said. He shook Jay's paw. "Welcome to the team, Rattata!"
"No, you're Rattata," said Jay. "I'm Jay Leno. Red didn't give you a nickname."
"Oh—oops," said Rattata. "My bad." He shook Jay's paw. "Welcome to the team, Jay Leno!"
~·~
Red walked past Cerulean Gym.
"C'mon, you guys!" said Jay. "We need to beat Misty!"
Abby and Pidgeotto laughed.
"Yeah, you guys!" said Rattata. "Quit goofing off! We've got a Misty to beat!"
~·~
The sun had set on Vermilion City. But the thriving port town was well-lit by streetlamps and houselights. Dots of light littered the dark horizon—boats, setting off for who knows where. More boats lined the docks close to shore. One boat, however, dwarfed all of them: the S.S. Anne, a massive luxury cruiser.
Red stumbled forward on the docks, bouncing against the fences. Without the fences, he'd have fallen into the sea.
"Misty is in there," Rattata said, glaring at the S.S. Anne. "I can feel it."
Red was stopped by a man in sailor's garb. "Ticket, please," the man said.
"USE HELIX!" Red said, holding out the Helix Fossil.
"That's not…" The man cleared his throat. "Ticket, please."
"USE NUGGET!" Red said, holding out the Nugget.
"Are… are you trying to bribe me?"
"USE TICKET!" Red said, holding out the S.S. Ticket.
"If you had that the whole time, why didn't you…" The man sighed. "I mean… Welcome to the S.S. Anne!"
Red stumbled forward.
"There will be strong trainers on the S.S. Anne," said Pidgeotto. "Be prepared to fight."
"The new guy's been doing pretty well," Jay said, patting Rattata on the back.
"Yeah," said Rattata. "He's already evolved into a Pidgeotto!"
~·~
Red stumbled around the spacious halls of the S.S. Anne. He tapped a silver disc against the wall.
"What's that?" asked Rattata.
"That's TM28," said Abby. "It teaches Dig."
"We won it from some Team Rocket guy in Cerulean City," said Jay. "It was stolen, but the original owners let us keep it as thanks for defeating him."
"I've been trying to get Red to use it on me," said Abby. "Dig is a badass move."
Red tapped the Helix Fossil against the wall.
"What's that?" asked Rattata.
"That is the holy Helix Fossil," said Pidgeotto. "Its story is an ancient one. When the world began, a long, long time ago, there was—"
"What's that?" asked Rattata.
Red was rubbing TM28 on his nose.
"That's… that's TM28 again," said Jay. "We already explained—"
"Yoink!" Rattata jumped, and snatched the TM in midair.
[RATTATA learned DIG!]
Everyone stared at him.
"Wow—it disappeared!" said Rattata. He looked at Jay. "What was that thing, anyway?"
~·~
Sparks jolted around Pikachu's red cheeks as he charged his attack.
"It's okay, you guys," said Rattata. "I can take one for the team!"
[Enemy PIKACHU used THUNDERSHOCK!]
Rattata was zapped over and over until his fur was charred and black.
[Critical hit!]
[RATTATA fainted!]
"See, guys?" Rattata said weakly. "I took one for the team."
Jay was laughing. "That… that doesn't really help us, Rattata," he said between giggles.
[RED blacked out!]
~·~
In front of the Vermilion City Pokémon Center, Jay, Abby, and Pidgeotto looked at each other, and reached an implicit understanding.
"Four isn't enough," said Abby.
"We must expand," said Pidgeotto.
"NEED MORE RATTATA!" said Red.
~·~
Ah, Route 11. My old stomping ground, where I was born and raised. A grassy, forested meadow, stretching from Vermilion City to the seaside docks of Route 12. A beautiful, peaceful place. Trainers passed through it every day—through tall grass, or on the various dirt paths. But wild Pokémon ruled here. Spearow and Ekans were abundant.
Drowzee, too. You know—brown lower half, yellow upper half? Bipedal? A trunk-like nose? Kind of portly? You know what I'm talking about, right?
Yeah. You know what a Drowzee is. And you know about our psychic powers.
I've always been a curious one. Every day, whenever trainers passed by, I tried to read their minds. Well, "read" is maybe the wrong word. You can't read minds; they aren't books. But you can sort of feel them. Like a sixth sense. Details eluded me—but I got the general gist.
I learned a lot about Kanto this way. And the more I learned, the more I wanted to see it for myself. I'd lived my whole life in one meadow. For some Pokémon, that was enough. But not for me.
~·~
A trainer walked by. A young boy. I tried to read his mind.
But it was hard. This boy was… different. Very different. So different, I could hardly believe what I was sensing.
I jumped out in front of him.
[Wild DROWZEE appeared!]
A large, brown-feathered bird flew out to meet me.
"CATCH IT!" the boy shouted. "Catch it catch it catch it!"
"My trainer speaks wisdom," the Pidgeotto told me. "I believe you would make a valuable addition to our team."
"Interesting," I said, smiling. "You know what he is, don't you?" I looked at his teammates, searching their minds. "You do… but the Rattata don't." I searched harder. "The Charmeleon… I'm not sure. Her mind is tough to read."
"Her name is Abby."
I grinned mischievously. "Your trainer intrigues me. But can he battle?"
Pidgeotto flapped his wings, blowing sand at me; some of it got in my eyes, obscuring my vision. I wiped my face and thrust my arms. Purple-tinted waves oscillated between us.
[PIDGEOTTO's SAND-ATTACK was disabled!]
"A smart move," Pidgeotto said, impressed.
Suddenly, he flew into me, knocking me to the ground.
I stood up. "Astounding," I said, panting. "The boy has ten thousand souls—yet you've synchronized with him. How?"
Red threw a Poké Ball.
I didn't resist. The Poké Ball snapped.
[All right! DROWZEE was caught!]
A few moments later, Abby released me from my Poké Ball, and I was introduced to my four new teammates—and my new trainer.
"Welcome to the funniest team in Kanto," said Jay.
"Oh my gosh—look!" Rattata said, pointing at me. "A wild Drowzee! Catch it!"
Meanwhile, another trainer—a Youngster—locked eyes with Red.
"Okay," the Youngster said, "let's go—but don't cheat." He sent out an Ekans.
"IT'S CHEATING TIME!" Red shouted. He threw a Poké Ball at the Ekans.
[Don't be a thief!]
Pidgeotto flew forth, and the battle began.
As I watched Pidgeotto blow sand at Ekans, I felt my own senses change. Everything seemed more real. Every sound, every grain of sand—it was all so vivid, so crisp. As if I had been observing life through a foggy lens, and now the filter had been lifted.
"You've probably realized this," Jay told me, "but Red isn't exactly a normal trainer."
Before I could respond, he ran toward Ekans; Pidgeotto retreated, perching next to me.
"Interesting," I said. "You switched, although Red never verbally commanded it."
"A trainer's commands are rarely verbal," said Pidgeotto.
"But of course," I muttered. "The psychic link between a trainer and his Pokémon. I've heard of it before. But in Red's case, there must be thousands of shifting psychic links. The chaos that must create… perhaps that is what's distorting my senses. Our senses."
Meanwhile, the Ekans attempted to wrap its body around Jay—but miscalculated. Jay escaped. Then he opened his mouth, and spat a stream of bubbly water at the snake.
[JLVWNNOOOO used BUBBLEBEAM!]
I laughed. "BubbleBeam? He taught his Rattata BubbleBeam?"
"Bubble him up, Jay!" Abby cheered.
"Yeah, what she said!" Rattata cheered.
The Ekans sank its fangs into Jay.
[JLVWNNOOOO fainted!]
As Jay retreated, I felt some invisible force pulling me forward. Hesitantly, I obeyed it, and stepped onto the battlefield.
The vividness and crispness increased a hundredfold. An incredible, unique feeling consumed me—the feeling of becoming a droplet in an ocean. Of becoming a puppet on a million vibrating strings. It was terrifying. I'd never felt anything so intense.
I barely remember that battle. It's all a blur of adrenaline. Apparently, I pounded the Ekans, and disabled its Bite. Then Ekans wrapped around me and squeezed me until I fainted.
I retreated, still overwhelmed.
"Yeah," Jay said, half-smiling at me. "It's gonna be like that."
"You'll get used to it," said Abby.
Rattata dodged Ekans's attacks. Then, suddenly, he burrowed underground. Ekans looked around, confused. The ground quaked. Then Rattata burst up—slamming into Ekans from below.
[RATTATA used DIG!]
[Enemy EKANS fainted!]
"He taught BubbleBeam to one Rattata, and Dig to the other," I said, grinning. "Fascinating. Here is a boy who does things that no one else would ever think to do." I watched the Youngster concede defeat to Red. "And he wins. That intrigues me most of all. I'd never expect this boy to earn a single badge. Yet he already has two of Kanto's eight badges."
"So the Helix has willed," said Pidgeotto.
Abby coughed. "Nugget," she mumbled. She coughed again.
"Oh my gosh—look!" Rattata said, pointing at Abby. "A wild Charmeleon! Catch it!"
Red ran into a field of tall grass. Almost immediately, a Spearow flew out to meet him.
"CATCH IT!" said Red. "No don't catch it … BIRD IS THE WORD… NO DON'T NEED SPEAROW… yes catch it…"
Pidgeotto confronted the wild Spearow. They stared each other down.
"I don't know," said Jay. "Should we really give our last slot to a Spearow? We already have three normal-types. And one flying-type."
"Two flying-types," Abby corrected. "After I evolve."
"I'm beginning to understand," I said. "Red, in the absence of coordination, is ruled by impulse. Rattata and I were crucial to winning that last battle. Expanding the team led to victory. Red's impulse is therefore to expand the team further—even if it's not logical." I grinned. "Will logic win? Or will impulse? What a fascinating… ow!"
Red had slapped me with the Helix Fossil.
[This isn't the time to use that!]
"Your trainer's pretty dumb," Spearow told Pidgeotto.
"Would you be averse, then, to joining our team?" Pidgeotto asked.
"Meh," said Spearow. "I got nothing better to do."
Red threw a Poké Ball.
Moments later, it snapped.
[All right! SPEAROW was caught!]
~·~
In the corner of the Pokémon Center, there was a computer. Red kept approaching it, then backing away. "Up, left, b… Use PC… DON'T USE PC… Left, left, right…"
"Interesting," I said. "The Mob is split. Some want to use that computer to deposit one of us in the Pokémon Storage System. Others are eager to move on."
"I do not trust Bill," Pidgeotto said darkly. "Nor do I trust his Storage System."
"Aw, come on," Jay pleaded. "Let's see Red try to use a computer." He chuckled. "It'll be hilarious!"
"It might be smart to deposit someone now," I said, scratching my chin. "Our team lacks type variety."
"Spearow, what do you think?" Abby asked.
"Meh," said Spearow. "Don't care."
"Do you want to know what I think?" asked Rattata.
"What do you think, Rattata?" said Abby.
"So, you do want to know what I think?"
"Yes, Rattata. I want to know what you think."
"Great!"
Everyone stared at him.
"I'm glad that's settled," said Rattata.
"Right, up… deposit rat…" Red muttered, stumbling around. "Up, a, start… don't need Spearow… REPLACE JAY LENO WITH CONAN… down, right, start…"
Spearow yawned. "Wow. This is so exciting."
I yawned too. "It certainly is getting late," I said. "And whatever Red does… he isn't doing it anytime soon." I sat against the wall. "This is a good opportunity to catch some Z's."
"I love Z's!" said Rattata. "Can I have some of yours? I forgot to bring any."
"You guys are missing out," said Jay. "I mean, Red at a computer? This is going to be prime comedic material."
"Meh," said Spearow. He sat next to me, and closed his eyes.
"Your loss," said Jay. "When I tell you what you missed, you're going to be jealous!"
~·~
I opened my eyes.
"No, no, no," Red muttered, stumbling away from the PC. "No, no, no, no…"
I looked around. Jay was crying. Abby was embracing him, trying to console him. Her eyes were wide and traumatized. Pidgeotto was glaring at the PC, radiating contempt.
"What… happened?" I asked, standing up.
"It was horrible," Jay whimpered. He embraced Abby harder. "That PC… it… it…"
"It's evil," Abby said quietly. "Evil."
"I wish my suspicions were misplaced," said Pidgeotto. "But it was worse than I feared."
Soon, Red stumbled out of the Pokémon Center. The six of us followed him.
"Well," I said, "if we can't use the PC, then… I guess this is the team."
"Yeah," Abby said, forcing a smile. She gestured at us. "This is the team."
"This is the team," Pidgeotto agreed, smiling.
"That's right, you guys!" said Rattata. "This team can do anything. We can climb any mountain. We can touch the sky. It won't be easy. We'll have to work hard every single day. But someday, after a long, perilous journey, we will beat Misty!"
"Meh," said Spearow.
~·~
End Time: 2d 3h 10m
~·~
Current team:
RATTATA, lv.9
• Rattata (Normal)
• Tackle, Tail Whip, Quick Attack, Dig
···
ABBBBBBK(, lv.29
• Charmeleon (Fire)
• Scratch, Bide, Growl, Leer
···
DROWZEE, lv.13
• Drowzee (Psychic)
• Pound, Hypnosis, Disable
···
SPEAROW, lv.15
• Spearow (Normal/Flying)
• Peck, Growl, Leer, Fury Attack
···
PIDGEOTTO, lv.26
• Pidgeotto (Normal/Flying)
• Gust, Sand-Attack, Quick Attack, Whirlwind
···
JLVWNNOOOO, lv.11
• Rattata (Normal)
• Tackle, Tail Whip, Quick Attack, BubbleBeam