We Are Red

by Gengario

Red is no ordinary Pokémon trainer—he's thousands of people sharing a single body. Even simple tasks aren't easy for poor Red. But he has friends, he has dreams, and he has a Helix Fossil. He might just make it to the top.

5. Old Rival

Pidgeotto tried to focus on Kadabra. But his vision was blurred. His head was pounding. He flew… into a wall.

[It hurt itself in its confusion!]

[PIDGEOTTO fainted!]

"Ha!" said Blue. "Like trainer, like 'mon!"

[RED blacked out!]

~·~

Start Time: 2d 4h 24m

~·~

Red stumbled up the ramp, and once again entered the S.S. Anne. "Down, down, left… Gotta beat Blue… left, down, down…"

"Who was that spiky-haired boy?" I asked.

"His name is Blue Oak," Pidgeotto answered.

"He's my old master's grandkid," said Abby. "He and Red have been rivals their whole lives."

"I see," I said, scratching my chin. "That explains his attitude toward Red."

"He's kind of a jerk to him," said Jay.

"Yes," I replied, "but that is, in its own way, a display of respect. Blue understands Red better than any other human I've encountered so far."

"His hair is stupid," Spearow murmured.

~·~

There were many strong trainers aboard the S.S. Anne. Red stumbled from cabin to cabin, battling them. Mostly, though, he roamed the halls, going nowhere.

I napped again. When I woke up, Red had still gone nowhere. When I stood up, I noticed Jay Leno standing next to me.

"Can I ask you something?" said Jay. "What did you mean when you mentioned 'the Mob' earlier?"

I smiled. "The Mob is Red," I answered. "All ten thousand of them."

"…Ten…thousand?"

"Sometime more. Sometimes less. The number isn't stable. In general, it seems to be increasing."

We watched Red stumble around.

"I feel minds," I explained. "When I feel his… it's like shattered glass. As if his soul has been split into thousands of parts. I can almost see them, if I concentrate. Countless dark shapes, floating above Red, sprouting from his brain. Like phantoms. I hear them, too. They're constantly bickering. Constantly talking over each other."

"That's… weird," Jay said quietly.

"Yes, Red is quite an oddity."

"Also, a moron," Spearow murmured.

I was startled. I hadn't noticed Spearow standing next to me.

"Also, lame," said Spearow.

"Do you join conversations just to derail them?" I asked.

"Meh," said Spearow. "It passes the time."

~·~

Red rolled the silver disc on his forehead.

"What's that?" asked Rattata.

"Something lame," Spearow murmured.

"It's that thing we won from that trainer a few minutes ago," said Jay.

"TM08," I added. "It teaches Body Slam. A strong move, if you—"

"Yoink!" Rattata jumped, and grabbed the TM in midair.

[RATTATA learned BODY SLAM!]

Everyone looked at him.

"Sorry, I wasn't listening," said Rattata. "What did you say that thing was?"

Jay laughed. "I love this guy!" he said, patting Rattata on the back.

"Yeah," said Rattata. "I love this guy!" He whispered to Jay: "Who are we talking about?"

~·~

"Look who came crawling back," Blue said, smirking and tossing a Poké Ball to himself.

"BLUE MOTHERFUCKING OAK!" said Red.

"Damn straight."

"IGNORE HIS GIRTH!"

"Bet ya can't."

"CONSULT HELIX!"

"How about your ass consult my dick?"

Rattata, Jay, and Spearow had fainted during previous battles. Only Abby, Pidgeotto, and I could fight. I was the first one out. Blue sent out his first Pokémon: a Pidgeotto.

"KILL THE IMPOSTOR!" said Red.

"Mine's bigger," said Blue.

By now, I had battled with Red several times, and I was starting to get used to the way it felt. That's not to say I was good at it. The trick was to not get frustrated. I just did what came naturally, and accepted that my ten thousand puppeteers would often lead me astray.

I got some Pounds in—including a critical hit. The bird slammed into me, and tore my skin up with a powerful Gust. He also blew sand at me until I could barely see. I was blind and weakened when Abby replaced me. After a brief scuffle, she made mincemeat of the "impostor."

Blue sent out his second Pokémon: a Raticate.

"DADDY OF JAY LENO!" said Red.

"This one doesn't know BubbleBeam," said Blue. "I know—it's embarrassing. What kind of rat doesn't vomit bubbles?"

After several minutes of battling, Raticate sank his fangs into Abby's flesh.

[ABBBBBBK( fainted!]

"Oh, that's right: a rat who wins," said Blue. "And doesn't have a stupid nickname."

Pidgeotto was the last 'mon standing. Raticate was fast: in a flash, he rammed into Pidgeotto and sank his teeth in. Pidgeotto flew away, and stirred up some sand—and a useless Whirlwind. But the sand kept Raticate from seeing clearly. Pidgeotto dodged most of Raticate's attacks, and retaliated with Gust and Quick Attack.

[Enemy RATICATE fainted!]

"RIP Blue's Raticate 2014–2014," said Red.

"Shut up, loser," said Blue. "You know that my grandpa's doing your mom, right?"

He sent out Kadabra. Pidgeotto faced him, weakened from the previous fight.

Blue laughed. "Remember when your bird flew into a wall? Man that was funny! It was a perfect impression of you! Your Pokémon are natural comedians. Shitty battlers, though."

Kadabra raised his arms, preparing to unleash his psychic powers. But Pidgeotto moved swiftly this time. With a Quick Attack, and then another, Kadabra fell to the wooden floor.

Blue sent out his final Pokémon: a Wartortle.

"KILL THE KOOPA TROOPA!" said Red.

"Nice reference, nerd," said Blue.

Wartortle weakened Pidgeotto with a Tail Whip. Pidgeotto flew in a circle, then dove into Wartortle.

[PIDGEOTTO used QUICK ATTACK!]

Red celebrated by running up to Pidgeotto and knocking the Helix Fossil on his head.

[This isn't the time to use that!]

"Whose side are you on, Gramps?" said Blue.

It was a tense fight. One hit from Wartortle would knock Pidgeotto out. But Pidgeotto didn't give him the chance. With two more Quick Attacks, the shelled Starter fainted.

"Dang," Blue said, withdrawing Wartortle. "I was so busy laughing at what a loser you are that I forgot to win. Happens to the best of us."

"VICTORY!" Red cheered. "PRAISE HELIX! PRAISE NUGGET!" He rubbed the Helix Fossil on his cheek. "A, a, b, b… GIRTH IGNORED… a, b, down, a…"

Blue walked up to Red until they were standing side by side. He put a hand on Red's shoulder. "This bumbling idiot act won't get you off the hook," he whispered. "I know you're still in there, under all that hilarious stupidity." He patted Red's shoulder. "Indigo Plateau. You and me. And don't you dare fucking bail, shithead."

He walked away. "By the way," he said, "The captain's got the HM for Cut. You'll need it if you wanna humiliate yourself in Vermilion Gym." He waved. "Smell ya later."

~·~

From an overlook by the shore, we watched the S.S. Anne set sail.

"That was boring," said Spearow.

"It was quite productive, actually," I said. "We needed that HM."

"Who's gonna use it?" Jay asked.

"It must be Abby," said Pidgeotto.

"It's true," I confirmed. "She's the only one of us who can learn Cut."

"Alright, Red," said Abby. "Hit me up!"

Red whacked Abby with the Helix Fossil.

"Ow!" she groaned. "I said hit me up. Not hit me."

Red put away the Helix Fossil, and took out a silver disc—HM01.

"That's what I'm talking about!" said Abby. She reached for it. Red held it up. "Hey! Gimme that!" She jumped for it. Red put it away, took out the Nugget, and whacked her with it.

I sighed. "This might take a while."

"Lame," Spearow murmured.

~·~

End Time: 2d 5h 24m

~·~

Current team:

RATTATA, lv.9

• Rattata (Normal)

• Tackle, Body Slam, Quick Attack, Dig

···

DROWZEE, lv.13

• Drowzee (Psychic)

• Pound, Hypnosis, Disable

···

SPEAROW, lv.15

• Spearow (Normal/Flying)

• Peck, Growl, Leer, Fury Attack

···

ABBBBBBK(, lv.29

• Charmeleon (Fire)

• Scratch, Bide, Growl, Leer

···

PIDGEOTTO, lv.27

• Pidgeotto (Normal/Flying)

• Gust, Sand-Attack, Quick Attack, Whirlwind

···

JLVWNNOOOO, lv.11

• Rattata (Normal)

• Tackle, Tail Whip, Quick Attack, BubbleBeam