Takes place: prior to the events of the story, May 2021
POV: Cass
Summary: Cass and Liz were madly in love; they had been for years. They wanted to spend the rest of their lives together, but didn't anticipate that one would be cut short.
Content warning: car accident, death

"Hey… Liz..."

My older sister was curled up next to me, her end of the bed smelling like a mix of vanilla and honey. What else should I have expected when I decided to fall in love with a baker? I could see her lips parted slightly, her eyes squeezing tightly shut. Even half asleep, she looked beautiful. Like a prettier, more put together version of me.

"Five more minutes..." She bundled herself deeper in the blankets, her bare shoulders just peeking out.

"The boys will be waiting," I reminded her, gently shaking her. Her skin was smooth under my palm, her long hair fanning out all over the place on the pillow. "We promised Roger and Anita we'd visit them. You can't keep putting it off."

"But they have so many dogs…" she groaned. "They're all so slobbery and spotty."

I couldn't think of any way to argue with her, so I just gently pressed our lips together, enjoying the softness of it. She closed her eyes, moaning softly as one of my hands laced through her brunette hair.

"Alex can take Tadashi and Hiro," she mumbled, wrapping an arm around me. "I just wanna stay here with you."

"Can't do that, Liz," I said in a sing-song voice but at the same time not having the willpower to break away from the kiss. She didn't even make an effort to get up, instead pushing me until I was on my back and climbing on top of me. Our bare breasts rubbed against each other as our hands began to roam. It was only when she began to grind on the area between my legs that I came to my senses.

"I woke you up to get you out of bed, not to get you on top of me."

"Same difference," she said simply, kissing my nose. "We went to bed naked last night. You were the one who refused to break to put on clothes, so you only have yourself to blame."

I found myself involuntarily nestled between her thighs. Liz was looking down at me with a sultry expression, biting her bottom lip ever so slightly. Whenever she made a face like that, I had no choice but to give in. "Fine. But only to get you to wake up."

XXX

The two of us emerged from my room, properly showered and changed, ready for the day ahead. Alex emerged from the master bedroom, shooting us a kind look. There was no doubt he knew what we had been up to, but he knew what we did and he was alright with it. Always one to play fair.

"Morning, guys," he said, capturing Liz in a hug. "We should go soon. We'll be a little late as it is. I might try taking the freeway. It'll be faster."

"We'll be fine, Alex," Liz assured him, tiptoeing to give him a peck on the cheek. "Roger and Anita will understand. Leaving the house on time with two little kids is a near impossible feat."

Just then, I heard the shuffling of feet coming from the boys' bathroom. Three-year-old Hiro wandered out, still in his pyjamas and socks.

"Hey, kiddo, aren't you gonna get ready?" I asked, reaching down to ruffle his hair.

"Tummy ache…" he said with a pout, clutching his abdomen.

"Is it a poo poo tummy ache or a barfing tummy ache?" his dad asked, getting down on his knees to be eye level with him.

"Poo poo."

Liz glanced at me and Alex with a worried look. "The drive up is long. It might not be the best idea for him to go."

"We could put him in a diaper," Alex suggested.

"We wouldn't have one big enough," I pointed out. "He's already almost four. He hasn't had to use one in the day in quite a while. It'll be uncomfortable for him." I paused to think. "I could stay back with him," I offered. "You two can take Tadashi and I can make sure Hiro is taken care of."

Liz gave me a tender look. "Cass, are you sure? I wouldn't want you to miss out-"

"Don't mention it," I insisted. "It's just one visit. I can always see them another time. Anita and Roger will understand."

Tadashi poked his head out of their room door as Hiro shuffled towards the toilet again. "Is Hiro not going?"

"Not today, sweetie," Liz said almost apologetically. "He's not feeling too good so he and Aunt Cass will stay here."

He scrunched up his brow, his fists clenching and unclenching. "I'll stay here too," he said after a brief moment of deliberation.

"Are you sure, bud?" Alex asked. "Don't you wanna see Pongo and Perdita? They just had puppies!"

Tadashi shook his head firmly. "If Hiro's not going, I'm not going." He lowered his voice slightly so his brother wouldn't hear him. "I know he gets sad if he misses out on things. I don't want him to know I saw the puppies when he couldn't."

It was at that moment that I knew Tadashi had one of the biggest hearts I'd ever seen, even as a little kid. He was just like his mom.

"That's my sweet boy," Liz praised, her voice full of love. She reached over and scooped him up in her arms, cradling him in the crook of her elbow. "In that case, we should head off soon. The faster we get there, the faster we can get home. Now you, little one." Tadashi turned to look at her. "I love you, and I'll see you when we get home." Liz planted a big kiss on his cheek as he threw his arms around her neck. Alex came round to kiss the other cheek, Tadashi giggling at the feeling of his ticklish stubble.

Hiro hobbled out again just as Tadashi was put down, and he too was wrapped in his mother's crushing embrace, the goodbyes quick before the boys disappeared into their own room again, either to poop or to change back into more comfortable clothes.

"Are you totally sure you're okay with staying back?" she asked again. "I could always call Abigail to watch them for a few hours."

"And steal away your head chef from her kitchen right before the brunch rush? Not a chance." After glancing to make sure the boys' door was closed properly, I planted a quick kiss on her lips. "Missing one day out won't kill me. Send Anita and Roger my best."

"I'll start the car first. See you when we get back," Alex said, leaving through the main door.

Liz looked me up and down, a small blush spreading across her cheeks. "You really are the best sister, you know that?"

"Untrue. That title belongs to you." I kissed her again before forcing us apart. "You better get out of here. The sooner you go, the sooner you can come home. I'll be right here when you get back."

XXX

The coffee machine made a whirring sound as it prepared to fill the mug I had stationed in it.

A short while after Liz and Alex left, it began to rain. The gentle drizzle was quick to turn to a fierce downpour, the fat droplets rattling the windows. I dropped her a text to warn her of the incoming storm and to drive safely.

"You okay, Hiro?"

"Bathroom," he mumbled, his feet audibly dragging across the floor. Mochi, our new kitten chosen specifically by Liz, trailed in after him, the pitter patter of his feet quick and agile.

"Is Hiro gonna be okay?" Tadashi asked, looking up at me expectantly from his space themed colouring book.

"It's just a stomach bug," I assured him. "He just needs to get all the bad stuff out of his system. He'll be much better once that's done."

"How long does it take?"

"Maybe a couple of hours?" I speculated.

"How do you know?" he asked curiously, his head cocked to the side. He definitely inherited his curiosity from his mom. I remembered her always pestering our parents with questions they didn't even know the answer to.

"There are just some things grown ups know from experience. You'll know these things too when you're older. No one really says them, it's just something you know. Like a gut feeling."

Tadashi furrowed his brow. "But that's not fair that kids have to ask grown ups things just because they don't know stuff. Especially when they get sick. Kids can't even go to the doctor on their own, so they should at least be able to know what's wrong with them."

I laughed. "That's part of being a kid, honey. You have to rely on grown ups to know some things."

He huffed, then bore a look of what I assumed was inspiration. "One day I'm gonna make a robot for kids, and grown ups, to help them when they're feeling sick. Like Hiro. That way, when someone's not feeling good, the rest of the family wouldn't have to stay home and worry about them."

"That sounds like a fantastic idea," I commented, enjoying his bright eyed toothy grin before he knuckled down to continue colouring. My mug of coffee was finally full to the brim and I removed it from the machine, savouring the slightly bitter aroma. Yeah, I could get some of the better stuff from downstairs, but I didn't want to take business away from Liz. None of them ever let me pay, so I had to settle for making my own.

My phone lit up with a notification. It was a text from Anita.

A: Hey, are you guys on your way?

I replied.

C: Just Liz and Alex. Hiro's sick today so Tadashi and I are looking after him. Aren't they there yet?

A: Not yet. Liz hasn't texted me either.

I stole a quick glance at the time.

C: They left a while ago. They could just be stuck in traffic.

A: No worries. It's a shame we won't see you and the boys though. Roger made some model rockets he wanted to launch with them. Though I guess the weather would have gotten in the way anyway.

I set my phone down again, leaning against the fridge and bringing the warm liquid to my lips. It was a little too bitter, so I added a spoonful of sugar and stirred it in, watching the white crystals dissolve into the murky brown.

Then, my phone lit up again, this time with a call. I glanced at the screen but didn't recognise the number so I just left it to ring,

"Aren't you gonna pick it up?" Tadashi asked, not looking up from his work.

"It's probably just a telemarketer. I don't recognise the number but if they call again, I'll answer it."

About half a minute later, the phone stopped ringing for a split second, before ringing again. It was the same caller. Sighing, I picked up the phone, putting it against my ear.

"Hello?"

There was a male voice I didn't recognise on the other end of the line, but he sounded vaguely familiar. "Hi, is this Cassandra Hamada?" the voice asked.

"Yes, this is her. Who is this?"

"Hi, Ms Hamada, this is Officer Higgins from a different subdivision of the SFPD." That's why his voice sounded familiar. I must have known him through work somehow, at least someone in the peripherals. I was always working closely with Judy Hopps and sometimes Nick Wilde or Chief Bogo. Rarely anyone else. "I'm calling about your sister and her husband."

At that moment, I felt a dreadful sinking feeling. Something wasn't right. They hadn't reached Anita's yet and now I was getting a call from the police? The coffee in the mug was shaking on account of my trembling hand. There was another call coming in. The screen showed it was Judy. I let her call go to voicemail.

Officer Higgins cleared his throat. "I'm calling about your sister, Elizabeth Hamada and her husband, Alex Tanaka. They were driving on the Father Junipero Serra Freeway but… there's been an accident."

My throat went dry. "An accident?" I croaked out.

"A large scale collision on the freeway."

"Well… are they alright?" I asked, grasping at straws, clinging to that final sliver of hope, even though his tone gave me the answer I desperately wished wasn't true.

"The collision was head on. Your sister is in very bad shape and her husband… he was pronounced dead at the scene." The mug slipped out from between my fingers, the grip around the handle not firm enough. It cracked into pieces, the broken porcelain letting the dark liquid seep through and cover the kitchen tiles.

"She's been taken to Kaiser Mita Hospital. You need to get there as soon as you can."

My eyes stung and I let out a strangled sob, covering my mouth with my free hand. The ground under me felt like it was swaying and I sank into it, my legs buckling, my back sliding down the fridge until I was sitting with my knees tucked under my chin.

I spotted movement out of the corner of my eye and looked up to see Tadashi standing by my side, his hand nudging at my shoulder just like I had done to Liz to wake her up that morning, just a few hours ago. "Aunt Cass? Are you okay?"

Tears wet my cheeks, hot and unbearable. I couldn't even will myself to brush them away.

"Go to your room and wait there, Tadashi," I ordered. "When Hiro comes out of the bathroom, tell him to wait too."

He looked confused, cocking his head slightly and scrunching up his eyebrows. "But-"

"Now!" I snapped, trying to sound firm despite the fact that my voice cracked. I was never one to do the disciplining. That was Alex and Liz's job as their parents. So hearing me briefly lose my temper must have scared him. Tadashi took a step back, chewing on his bottom lip before scampering off to their shared bedroom, his colouring book left forgotten on the table.

"Miss Hamada? Are you there?"

"They… they have two sons."

"I would suggest not bringing the boys along. From what I understand, they're still incredibly young. It would be best for them not to see their mother right now since she's just been in an accident."

Judy was calling me again.

"I—"

"Miss Hamada, go to the hospital. Ask the front desk and they'll show you where you need to go."

I hung up and picked up the other call.

"Judy—" My voice cracked.

"Cass, I'm so sorry." I could hear a lot of commotion on her end of the line. "I called you as soon as I could."

"Tell me it's not them," I begged. "Tell me there was a mistake. That it was someone else."

She sighed. "It's not a mistake, Cass. You need to go to the hospital. Now."

"I need… the boys…"

"I'm on the scene right now. I've seen the state of her. You have to go. Leave the boys to me, alright? I'll call Abigail. I know she has a set of keys too. She can go up and watch them for a few hours."

"Are you—"

"You don't have time to argue with me now," she said firmly. "I've already called you an Uber. I've texted you the details. He'll be there in less than five minutes."

XXX

The Father Junipero Serra Freeway had two main sections, each four lanes wide. There was a single bannister separating both sides and the two ends had traffic going in opposite directions. The way to the hospital was clear but there was a massive jam on the other side, and I could soon see why.

Black skid marks marked the road and something had driven right through the barrier. The metal twisted and crumpled like paper right where the impact had been. On the opposite side of the road, traffic was backed up several blocks. The police were at the scene and I even got a glimpse at Judy talking to some witnesses.

Looking at the vehicles was the most painful.

A large truck must have been what had gone through the bannister judging from how it was pointing against traffic. The metal had scratched right down the sides of it. There were several cars caught up in the domino effect, but my heart sank when I saw Liz's car. It must have been the one to get hit by the truck first.

She had saved up for years to get it. Alex had been sceptical. It was one of those electric cars that were just becoming popular, with a million different features and applications including Netflix in the car and a camping function. The boys were especially fond of the fart noises it made. The hood was entirely caved in from where the truck had hit it and some of the white paint was even stained red. Nearby, there were two body bags being loaded into police cars. I shuddered knowing Alex was probably in one of them.

The roads were still wet, large puddles splashing up whenever cars drove across them even though the rain had slowed.

The driver let out a low whistle as we drove past. "That looks like one hell of an accident," he commented, drumming his fingers on the wheel. I suppressed the growing desire to strangle him.

When I got to the hospital, I rushed to the front desk where they directed me to room 0802. It was in one of the further wings of the hospital, a newly built one where the walls smelled strongly of drying paint and disinfectant. When I opened the door, my heart broke.

She looked terrible, and that was made worse by the fact that I knew the blanket would have been covering some of the worst of it. There was dried blood in her hair still damp from the rain, matting the strands together, and a gash on her forehead was covered with a crimson bandage, the blood blooming through the gauze. Tubes and monitors were sticking out of her arm, long and menacing, like they were sucking the life right out of her.

She turned her head weakly. Liz looked so tired, but her eyes lit up slightly when she noticed me standing in the doorway. "Cassie…"

She hadn't called me Cassie in decades. We would have been thirteen and ten when we had that conversation.

"I don't know why Mom and Dad gave us such prestigious sounding names," she had said, bouncing a tennis ball rhythmically against a wall and catching it with each toss.

"What do you mean?" I had asked, looking at her curiously. We were both in our pyjamas, in our room under the premise that we were going to bed even though that was far from the case.

Liz had put on a very fake British accent, holding out her pinkie finger like she was delicately drinking a cup of tea. "Cassandra and Elizabeth. We sound like the blooming Queens of England, wouldn't you agree?"

I had laughed, throwing a pillow at her. "Well duh. That's what nicknames are for."

"But Lizzie and Cassie… I think Liz and Cass sound much more grown up, don't you think?"

It was then that we decided to get rid of the 'ie's of our names to uphold the image of sophistication and grace. The memory was comforting warmth in such a dark time.

"Lizzie." I rushed to her side, wincing at the state of her. I thought I told myself I wouldn't cry, that I would be strong for her, but my cheeks were already wet by the time I took her hand in mine.

"Hey, it's okay… I'm okay…" she tried to insist, even though she hissed in pain when she tried to sit up.

"What happened?" My voice was merely a whisper.

"God, I… I don't really remember." A look of guilt crossed her face. "One moment, we're jamming to Hamilton together, then the next, there are headlights barrelling towards us. The windshield is caving in and the airbag is deployed. Alex was driving. I think I must have been knocked out for a while because when I came to, I was on a stretcher being loaded into an ambulance."

Does she know? "Alex—"

"I know. He didn't make it." Tears spilled from her eyes. "The truck hit us head on, but was angled to the left."

"I'm so sorry… I should have been there with you."

She held a hand up to shush me, or at least try to. "Don't say that. You needed to take care of Hiro. You being there wouldn't have made a difference. It wouldn't have kept me from getting hurt, it would have just gotten you hurt too."

"Have you heard anything from the doctors?" I asked.

Her expression was solemn and my pulse soared with worry. "I'm in a really bad spot right now, Cass. They need to do surgery as soon as the operating theatre frees up."

"So soon?"

She nodded. "Only because I haven't eaten since yesterday. Otherwise I would have had to wait longer." Liz squeezed my hand a little tighter, the IV drip in her arm making her veins pop in a terrifying way. "The procedure they want to do… it has one of the highest mortality rates."

The colour drained from my face. Alex was gone. I couldn't lose her too. "Then… don't do it, Liz."

"The doctor was clear. If I don't do the surgery, I'd be gone in a day, or two if we're pushing it. It would at least give me a shot, even if it's a little dicey."

"Isn't there another way?" I asked desperately, my throat feeling tight.

"I wish I could give you better news."

I shook my head, trying to clear the dark clouds beginning to gather. "I should have brought the boys. They should have had the chance to see you."

"Are you kidding?" She almost laughed. "I don't want them to see me like this. In case…" Her voice trailed off before she recollected herself. "The image they should keep of me… it shouldn't be me busted up in a hospital bed. That can't be all they remember me by." Her finger nudged my chin. "Hey, chin up, Cassie. We can't think the worst of things now. We've defied the odds before. We can do it again."

She was so hopeful. Me on the other hand, I knew this was quite possibly the last conversation I would have with my sister. The seconds I had with her were slipping through my fingers like sand through an hourglass.

It was made worse when a tall man in scrubs with greying hair walked in, clipboard in hand, head fixated on its contents. "Ms Hamada, we'll be able to get you into the OT in the next half hour. We can wheel you over there now to begin the prep." He glanced up for the first time and noticed me.

"Doctor Krei, this is my sister."

"Cassandra Hamada." I shook his outstretched hand firmly, my palm clammy and sweaty.

He nodded, clearing his throat to address me. "Would you step into the hall with me for a moment?"

Liz and I exchanged a glance before our fingers uncurled, the contact with her gone. I followed Doctor Krei into the hall, my body feeling like it was walking through molasses.

"How bad is it?" I asked, chewing on my thumbnail, a habit I was never able to get rid of.

He gave me a sympathetic look. "I'm going to be honest with you, it's really not looking good. Even if the surgery is successful, the recovery is… it can be unpredictable." Basically, it wouldn't keep her from dying anyway.

"She has two young sons. Isn't there another treatment option? Something less risky?"

"Nothing that would work within the timeframe we need it to." He slipped his pen into his coat pocket. "Your sister may be lucky and defy the statistics that come with this procedure, but I would suggest bracing for the worst."

I was numb to the point where I couldn't feel any worse.

"I'll give you both some time alone. Nurses will be around soon to wheel her into the OT."

Doctor Krei didn't follow me back in. Liz stared sadly into her lap, but her look of solemnity eased a little when she saw me again.

I didn't even give her a moment to speak. Making sure I wasn't putting pressure on any cuts or bruises, I cupped her cheeks and kissed her deeply. She moaned weakly in surprise, but closed her eyes and leaned into it.

I wanted to ask her to promise me she'd come back to me, but I didn't want her last words to me to be an empty promise.

"Be brave, Cassie," she whispered when we pulled away. "The boys need you."

The weight of the situation came crashing down on me so fast I felt I would crumble to the floor again. If she really didn't make it, Tadashi and Hiro would be orphans, and I would be their only guardian.

"I'm not ready to do that, Liz," I croaked, fear ripping through me.

"You're going to have to be," she said firmly. "That's only if the worst happens, but I still have hope that I'll make it out okay." Liz winced as she moved in a way that must have hurt, tensing up suddenly as her hand flew towards her side.

"I love you," I whimpered, holding her hand and not wanting to ever let go. "I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you—" There was an invisible need to repeat it over and over. All the 'I love you's I would have said over the years we should have had needed to be squeezed into those last few moments before she would be wheeled away.

"I love you too," she whispered, her voice trembling. There was movement by the door, and suddenly we weren't alone.

"Ms Hamada, we need to head to the OT now," one of the nurses said, her expression regretful.

I looked at her helplessly but she just gave me a loving smile, squeezing my hand tight before letting go as the nurses got everything together.

"I'll see you on the other side, Cassie," she said before she was taken away, leaving me alone in the sterile room. Whether she meant to see me after the procedure... or worse…

One of the nurses circled back to me, standing numbly against a wall. She didn't say a word to me, instead silently leading me to a seating area. She mumbled something about the doctor coming to find me once the procedure was done before leaving again.

While in the waiting room, I stared blankly at the TV screen which was showing a staticy news report.

"There was an accident this morning on the Father Junipero Serra Freeway this morning. A truck driver had been under the influence of hallucinogenic drugs when he broke across the lane divider and drove against the direction of traffic. The truck then collided with a white car, causing a pile up involving two more cars and one motorbike. Two people were pronounced dead at the scene, including the truck driver, while four others had been taken to hospital."

They showed footage of the accident's aftermath. I squinted and saw the fire department cutting the car open to extract Alex and Liz from the inside. She was conscious but looked terrible while he… he wasn't moving at all. There was no volume, but from the way her mouth moved, I could tell she was yelling for him, from the moment they pulled her out until she was taken away in the ambulance.

I wondered if she said she was knocked out to protect me or if her brain just blocked out the memory of losing her husband altogether.

Looking at the news was excruciating, but when I looked at my phone, it was worse. Anita sent me the news article of the crash with the message "Is that Liz's car?" Judy texted me updates as if I wouldn't have seen it on the news anyway, about the drugs, about how the truck driver was already dead so there could be no justice. The unknown number that called me before, Officer Higgins, told me I needed to go down to the morgue when I could so I could… identify the body.

The only comfort I got was a picture Abigail sent me, of the boys and their toothy grins staring at the camera with steaming bowls of chicken soup.

A: I hope everything is okay at the hospital. I saw the article… I'm so sorry, Cass. The boys don't know yet and I'm not playing any news in the house. Eudora is helping down in the kitchen so I'll be with them for as long as you need. Hiro is feeling better too. They're both taking a nap now.

I cursed under my breath. Looking at that photo reminded me of what I had said to Tadashi. I sent a frantic reply.

C: I kind of snapped at Tadashi earlier when the police called me. Give him a hug for me please? And tell him that I love him and I'm sorry if I scared him, and that I'll explain everything when I get back home.

Then I thought of something else.

C: Actually, when they wake up, hug the both of them, and tell them Liz loves them. She loves them so much.

I gnawed on my nails to the point where they almost bled. People shuffled in and out, but the waiting room was almost always empty because I was in one of the farther, more isolated wings rather than the main building. I couldn't tell whether time was passing unbearably slowly or at lightning speed. My mind was just replaying memories I shared with Liz, like I had to relook at them before they disappeared along with her. Despite having spent our whole lives together, it felt like we never had enough time.

When she taught me how to braid hair, letting me practise with hers since her hair had always been longer than mine. When she stood up to the boy next door for making fun of me just because I was different. When she missed her flight to Toronto for a girls' trip because she was helping me prepare for my college finals which I was having a breakdown over. When we had that gut wrenching conversation where we decided to get together, and the one with Alex that followed years later.

We should have had so much more time to make more memories.

Doctor Krei materialised in front of me, a gentle hand on my shoulder. The waiting room was empty. I glanced at the clock. It was late.

I don't know if being flushed with hope would have made the outcome worse, but I felt utterly hopeless. I already knew what he was going to say before the wretched words left his mouth.

"I'm sorry—"

"No," I whispered, already wrung too dry to cry more.

"She—"

"No." I buried my head in my hands, willing myself to just disappear, away from this entire situation.

He opened his mouth to say something else, to offer what few words of comfort he could, but I shoved him away before he had the chance. I was on my feet and I ran as far as I could from that wing. I ran out of the main building into the nearly empty parking lot at the front of the hospital, narrowly avoiding being hit by an ambulance on the way. I crumbled to the ground, not even caring about the tarmac that scratched at my knees until they bled. Not even caring that the rain had started up again, falling in thick sheets that soaked through my clothes and chilled me to the bone. I balled up my hands into fists and I screamed until my throat was hoarse, and then I screamed some more.