Newfound Love: The Lost Files

by kalesalad003

Modern AU. Snippets from my other fic Newfound Love. Basically these chapters explore anything that may have not been explored in the story from any POV. Expect smut, expect angst, expect fluff and feel free to send in requests on what I should write about! Rated M for smut and incest. G!P Rapunzel x Arianna.

4. I'm Not Ready

Takes place: prior to the events of the story, May 2015
POV: Arianna
Summary: They were ten weeks away from officially meeting their child, and Frederic advised Arianna to take things easy, waiting on her hand and foot. That was until everything went off the rails, and the two were thrown into a mad scramble to keep Arianna and the baby safe.
CW: postnatal depression

I heard the click of the front door indicating Frederic was home. He was humming loudly as he came in which made me smile. It was Monday and most people hated Mondays, but he was clearly in a good mood. That was a good omen. The rest of the week was going to be great.

"Arianna, where are you?"

"In here!" I called from my spot on the bed. I paused the video on my laptop and put aside my notepad covered in my messy handwriting. Writing while lying down really wasn't easy, but at thirty weeks through an unsteady pregnancy, my body wasn't really suited to sitting at a desk all day, much less bustling around a college campus.

"What've you been up to today?" he asked, coming in and leaning casually against the doorframe.

"Catching up on an art history lecture." I gestured to my screen. "Thank God my professor pre-records everything so I won't fall behind."

A look of concern crossed his face. "I thought you're deferring your programme for a year."

"I am. I sent in the paperwork last week. But I figured I had time so I might as well see what I was missing out on."

"And how is it?"

I smiled. "Really interesting stuff. We're on the Art Deco Movement now." Very un-effortlessly, I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. The heating pad I had placed on my belly was lukewarm at best and not really doing its job, so I wanted to heat it again.

"How're you feeling?" Frederic asked me, walking by my side to the microwave in the kitchen. His hand brushed against my stomach, swollen from the baby growing inside me.

"He's… energetic today," I admitted, placing the pad on a plate and putting them both in the microwave. "But I can't complain too much. It could be worse. I can handle a little kicking and cramps."

"That's my girl." He squatted down so he was eye-level with my belly. "Hey there, champ." His hands were cupped around his mouth as he spoke directly into my shirt. "You don't go giving your mom a hard time now, alright? Take it easy."

I laughed tiredly. "If only that worked. But thank you for trying."

Hearing him call the baby 'champ' dampened my spirits a little. Calling the baby 'he' pinched at my heart. I would love my baby regardless of whatever happened, but I always wanted a little girl to pamper and spoil. My only consolation was that I could always try again once I was done with college. There were plenty more chances to have a daughter in my life.

"Have you thought of any more names?" he asked, looking up at me.

"Actually, I have. I was thinking maybe Flynn."

"Flynn?"

I hesitated. After scouring baby name websites for the better part of the last week, I'd finally found something I really liked. If Frederic didn't like it, it would be back to the drawing board. "You don't like it?"

"On the contrary, I love it." He paused to plant a kiss on my belly. "Ten more weeks until we can meet you, Flynn."

The microwave beeped and I retrieved the heating pad from within, clutching it to my stomach and sighing with the brief relief it brought. "Ten more weeks," I mumbled, my eyes shut, the pain in my abdomen easing slightly from the heat. When I opened them again, Frederic was grabbing a bottle of Corona from the fridge. The irony was not lost on me.

"Ten more weeks until I can have alcohol again," I sighed, eying the bottle longingly. He paused, glancing between me and the bottle in his hand before putting it back into the fridge. "Thank you for not tempting me, Frederic Corona."

"Ten more weeks until I can drink in front of you without feeling guilty," he teased, rummaging through the fridge again. "Any dinner requests?"

"Hmm… do we have any more frozen pizza?"

He shot me an amused look. "Seriously? We had that last night."

"You should be grateful I'm no longer craving chocolate on broccoli." I came up behind him and nudged his shoulder. "Come on, Frederic. Frozen pizza! Frozen pizza! Frozen pizza!" I chanted incessantly, not stopping until he gave in.

"Okay, okay, you win. Frozen pizza it is."

"Victory!" I raised my arms in the air triumphantly, the stretching helping a little with the pain. I sucked in a sharp breath as Flynn kicked again. "This kid is really a pain in my insides."

Frederic looked at me worriedly. "You're only at the end of week thirty, right? Should the pain really be that bad?"

"It's nothing," I replied dismissively. "It's a pregnancy. There's no pregnancy without a little pain."

He nodded but still didn't look entirely convinced. "Why don't you go lie down first. I'll throw dinner together and call you when it's ready."

"I can help you set the table if you—"

He clamped a hand over my mouth to forcefully shut me up. "Rest," he insisted with a smile. "It's just frozen pizza. I've got this."

I trailed back to the bedroom and collapsed into bed, holding the heating pad against me tightly. The pain was getting pretty bad, but to be fair, it could have very well been the normal amount of pain. I had spent a large portion of the pregnancy in the hospital drugged up on medication, so this could have been a result of all that. Nonetheless, the feelings of discomfort grew.

I hated being pregnant sometimes. Actually, most of the time. Bringing a child into the world was a lot more work than people made it out to be, both physically and mentally. There was a constant desire to get out of my own skin even if it was just for a few minutes, just so that I could escape for a little while. Escape the constant aches and pains my body had to endure. Escape the role I had to fill as a mother.

If only I had the strength to swallow my pride and call my mom. We always talked about her becoming a grandmother. She promised that she would help me along with the pregnancy when the time came. She would know what to do to ease the pain. She would know what to say to make me feel better. But no. I was the estranged daughter. I made my choice. I had to stick with it.

Flynn. I reminded myself that I was doing all this for Flynn. I was bearing with the pain for him. Grappling with the fear for him. He would become my whole life in a matter of weeks. I guess in a way, he already had.

I tried to remember the breathing exercises my gynaecologist had taught me to deal with the pain. It worked to calm me down too, which was especially useful since I felt another bout of imposter syndrome coming on. Four counts in, hold for two, out for eight. Ignore the cramp that feels like my insides are burning.

Four counts in, hold for two, out for eight. Ignore the growing urge to pee. Pregnant women were always peeing. Thanks a lot, womb squishing all my other internal organs.

Four counts in, hold for two, out for eight.

Four counts in, hold for two, out for eight.

Four counts in, hold for two, out for—

"Dinner's ready."

I opened my eyes to see Frederic standing by my side, offering me his hand. "Maybe you just need to get some food in you."

"I know I said I didn't want an epidural, but I swear, if actual labour is drastically more painful than this, I might actually need one."

He gave me a comforting look, trying to not be worried for the both of us. "Well, there's still time. Tonight could just be a bad night."

I let him pull me up, breathing deeply as I rose from the bed and made my way to the kitchen table which was already set. Frederic busied himself with getting the pizza out of the oven. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom for a second," I told him, hobbling past.

He chuckled lightly. "If you could have alcohol, you should make the number of times you pee each day a drinking game."

"Oh ha ha—" I began, only to be cut off by a sharp gasp. I could feel a splash of liquid from between my legs leaking down my thighs. God, did I really just pee myself in front of my husband? I didn't care how close marriage made a couple. I could not deal with this. "Sorry," I apologised, embarrassed. "I'll grab a towel from the bedroom."

"Um… Arianna?" He was looking at me strangely, his gaze shifting from my face to my legs. When I looked down, I froze at what I saw.

Blood. Not pee. Warm, crimson, clotted blood.

I doubled over, clutching my stomach as I was hit with another cramp. Alarm bells were going off in my head. That couldn't be right. I wasn't due for another ten weeks. Flynn was meant to be born in the summer. My water did not just break.

It's too early.

The thought echoed over and over again as I tried to stand up straight with minimal success.

"Okay." He dashed over and let me brace on him. "Okay, this is happening."

"No it's… not…" I tried to deny it, but the pain got the better of me, making it harder for me to speak in coherent sentences. "It's too early. It's too early."

"Arianna." His calloused hands held my cheeks, forcing me to look at him. "Your water just broke. This is happening. You're going into labour and we're going to the hospital right now. I'll call Doctor Rose. Where's the hospital bag?"

Was he serious? "I haven't packed it!" I snapped through a groan. "I didn't think I'd need to for another six weeks at least!"

"Hey, it's okay. That's okay," he said calmly. I had to hand it to him. He was doing a remarkably good job at not freaking out like I was. "Slowly head to the door. I'll make up a bag as quickly as I can. The car is in the parking garage downstairs."

"Get the baby stuff," I choked out. "Nursing shirt… onesie… bottles… Pascal! Where's Pascal?" I questioned in a panic, leaning against the wall of the entryway. A few moments of silence on his end passed before I called out again. "Frederic? Pascal! Get Pascal!"

"Coming!"

I whimpered, feeling as if a dozen knives were stabbing my stomach all at once. "Please hurry."

Frederic emerged with a stuffed duffel bag, almost tripping over his own feet while trying to pull his shoes on. He grabbed my sandals from the shoe rack and bent down to slip them onto my feet. Any other day, I might have felt like Cinderella.

But not today.

"I can't find him," he said quickly. "Is he in storage?"

"Bottom… of my… closet..."

He looked at me worriedly, a hand brushing the sweat that was beginning to collect along my brow. "We need to get you to the hospital now. I can always come back and grab him while you're there. You can do this without him, right?"

I exhaled hard through my nostrils. Pascal was usually with me through everything, from the first day of daycare to the night I left my parents for good. It felt weird that he wouldn't be with me, but I knew that urgency was pressing us on. "Yeah."

"There's my girl."

Frederic ushered me through the motions; out the apartment door, down in the elevator, towards the parking garage. Sam, the bellhop in the lobby who we often said hello to, did a double take when he saw me clutching my stomach, face stitched with pain, the slick blood marking the inside of my thighs. "Hey, I thought you weren't due for another few months?" he said to me as we passed.

"I'm not," I confirmed through clenched teeth.

"Shit. Good luck, you two. I'll open the gate for you."

My husband mumbled his thanks, his main focus to get me to the car in one piece. We passed a few other building occupants who were coming back from work, and most of them gave me a questioning look but didn't say anything. They did have the decency to give way to us, probably sensing the urgency of our situation.

"Easy does it," Frederic coaxed, helping me into the passenger seat before getting in on the other side. He started the engine and paired my phone to the car while waiting for it to heat up, immediately dialling Doctor Rose's number. We began driving just as she picked up.

"Arianna? Is everything alright?"

"Hi Doctor Rose. This is Frederic speaking. Slight problem; Arianna's water broke."

There was a beat of silence before she exclaimed in surprise. "Oh! Oh Lord. Okay. That's fine. This is all fine. Is she there now? Can she hear me?"

"Here," I said weakly, gripping Frederic's arm just to have something to hold onto.

"How are you holding up, dear?"

I groaned as another cramp — or I guess they were contractions — hit me. "I've been better."

I could hear some commotion on her end before she spoke again. "Right, well, this isn't too bad. We did say premature birth was a possibility, right? No reason to panic. Frederic, how far from the hospital are you?"

"Around fifteen minutes," he estimated. I wanted to cry. Fifteen minutes felt like it could feel like a lifetime.

"Okay. Head towards labour and delivery. Stay on the phone. Arianna? I need you to tell me every time you feel like you have a contraction; when it starts and when it ends." She gave us clear instructions, and I could hear her speaking frantically to nurses on her end of the line.

The good thing was that in between contractions, the pain dulled to just a thud in my gut. I was going into labour, yeah, but I might not have been in the thick of it yet. I mentally braced myself for it to get so much worse.

"Why is this happening?" I questioned aloud, turning to my husband as if he had the answers. "Why now? Why is he coming now? This shouldn't be happening. I need more time. I'm not ready. The nursery isn't finished, the house hasn't been baby-proofed—"

"Sweetheart, calm down—"

"I swear to God, Frederic, if you tell me to calm down, I will personally castrate you," I snapped.

"Yes, Frederic, I would advise against telling a woman in active labour to calm down," Doctor Rose piped in. "It's not the best thing for them to hear." I would have laughed at his expense in different circumstances.

"Right, sorry," he said sheepishly, speeding down the highway. "Look, we just need to focus on getting the baby safely out of you. We'll deal with things as they come. You might not think you're ready yet, but you will be. Heck, I don't think I'm ready yet, but we'll figure it out together as we go along."

"Contraction!" I groaned through gritted teeth. Frederic offered me his hand which I took, squeezing it so hard I heard him wince. It couldn't have lasted more than forty five seconds, but it felt like an eternity. "It's done," I said softly, releasing Frederic's hand from my clutches.

"Almost there," he announced, eyes glued to the road. "We're turning off the highway now. Maybe two minutes out."

"We'll meet you there," Doctor Rose said, sounding like they were already on the move.

I looked at my husband helplessly, feeling so alone in the world despite the fact that he was right next to me. "I miss my mom," I admitted softly, whining like a small child at a daycare centre. "We always said that we'd do this together."

He glanced at me from the corner of his eye, looking uncertain. "Do you want me to… call her?"

"No!" I blurted out. "No, I won't let her see me like this. She doesn't even know I'm pregnant. I can't—"

He could hear the rising panic in my voice, so was quick to calm me. "It's okay. I'm not calling anybody until you give me the green light. You don't have to. You got this. I know you do."

I whimpered, sinking into the car seat and desperately hoping he was right.

When we pulled up to labour and delivery, Doctor Rose was waiting with a team of nurses and a wheelchair. I was eased into it and whizzed into the hospital, without Frederic.

"Where is my husband?" I choked out, clenching my fists so tightly that my nails dug into my palms, leaving crescent shaped scars in their wake.

"He needed to find parking," one of the nurses told me. "He can't leave the car to block the ambulances, but he'll be in soon."

"Arianna?" Doctor Rose ran next to me, a comforting hand on my shoulder. I glanced at her and noticed her own baby bump under her scrubs. She was maybe five months along. "You're going to be alright. Everything is going to be fine. We've got a room for you and we're going to get you in there and all hooked up."

I exhaled hard through my teeth, tears springing in the corner of my eyes. "I don't know if I'm ready to do this," I whispered, my throat feeling tight.

"Everyone feels like that with their first child," she replied comfortingly. "Even I did. But maternal instincts will kick in and it'll be like everything has clicked into place."

I didn't know if I believed her, but I wasn't exactly in the position to question anything as I was wheeled into the room and lifted up onto the bed. A nurse tied a cord halfway down my forearm, making my veins pop. I was stripped of my clothes and placed in a hospital gown. Doctor Rose hooked up the fetal monitor and I could just about make out the sound of the baby's heartbeat over the blood rushing in my ears. There was commotion by the door and then Frederic was by my side, taking my hand in his. My legs were placed in stirrups. I hissed as an IV needle pierced my vein.

From there, the memories became a little hazy.

People said to push.

People said to breathe.

People said to hold on.

People said I was crowning.

People said I was doing so well.

People said just a little longer.

People said they needed more nurses in here.

People said I was almost there.

People said one more push.

People said it's a boy.

Someone dried my tears.

Someone wiped the sweat from my face.

Someone placed something on my chest and suddenly, just like that, I was holding my child.

My son.

He was so small he weighed almost nothing, a tiny thing in my arms. The nurses had wrapped him in a towel, and I held him close. He was crying, his little limbs flailing and kicking everywhere.

"Hey," I whispered, rocking him as best I could. "Hi, Flynn. You have everyone a real surprise, huh?"

Another hand joined me, looking large on his back. "Good job, Mama," Frederic praised, a beaming smile on his face.

"He's so tiny," I said, a little dazed. "Who would've thought May 11th was the day we became parents?"

"12th."

"What?"

"It's past midnight," he explained. "It's the 12th."

I guess I'd been in labour for longer than I thought.

"And look at his hair," I gushed, stroking the blonde locks. "He's got so much of it."

"I guess he won't have to worry about hair loss when he's older," Frederic joked.

I couldn't stop smiling, my heart swelling with a love it never knew before. Flynn rested on my chest, a bond forming between a mother and her child. It was as if I could feel the connection growing between us, making it seem like I'd known him all my life. "Do you wanna hold him?" I offered.

"Yeah." Frederic carefully took him from my chest, cradling him in his arms. "He looks just like you," he commented. Flynn had finally stopped crying, seemingly calm now as the activity in the rest of the room came back to me. I could hear two of the nurses talking in hushed tones, shooting the occasional glance at me and the baby. Doctor Rose was still by my side, monitoring the final minor contractions for the afterbirth. Thankfully, they didn't feel nearly as strong as during the earlier stages of labour. One of the nurses asked Frederic to step outside for a moment for a quick word. He nodded curtly, handing Flynn back to me before following her out.

"The afterbirth is almost done," Doctor Rose told me. "After that, you can start nursing. I'll help you out with it."

"What are they talking about?" I whispered. "What are they talking to Frederic about?"

She hesitated, almost like she didn't want to say it, but she finally did. "You'll have some time with your baby, but afterwards he'll have to be taken into the NICU."

My blood ran cold. "He what?"

"You're almost ten weeks early, Arianna," she said as gently as she could. "It's a precautionary measure we have to take. We need to make sure that he's strong enough to support himself and if not, that we can get him to the point where he can."

I held Flynn closer to me, as if that could have stopped them from taking him. "How long will he be in there?"

"We won't know until we run the first few tests." She didn't say anything more than that. She didn't say 'I'm sure he'll be out soon' or 'don't worry, it won't be too long'. I knew that that meant things were bad.

I was silent as I completed the afterbirth, nurses working to clean me up. Frederic returned and Doctor Rose helped me with my first latch. Baby Flynn nursed only for a few minutes before he started sputtering and coughing. It was a horrible, gut-wrenching sound. I stopped abruptly and knew he needed to go. I knew they had to take him, so giving him a final, teary kiss on the forehead, I passed him to Doctor Rose and he was wheeled off to the NICU.

XXX

Several days had gone by. At that point, I was just going through the motions. My vitals weren't totally stable after such a premature birth, so I was kept in the hospital, moved to a private room in the maternity ward. I was pretty much confined to my bed. I could only see Flynn once a day, if at all. Every day, I felt myself losing a little bit more hope. It was heartbreaking being apart from him. It hurt so much having to pump, knowing that Flynn was getting a special baby formula through an IV tube in his foot instead of the milk my body was producing for him.

I was so tired.

Frederic stayed with me as much as he could, working from the hospital. There were a few times he was called to the office for meetings that couldn't be done online, and I understood that. I didn't want to keep him away from his work. He'd brought some comforts from home for me, including Pascal, some of my favourite pyjamas, and my sketchbook. The latter sat untouched in the corner of my hospital room. I was too depressed to draw.

One day, when Frederic was out ferrying things between home and the hospital, Doctor Rose came to see me with updates on the baby's condition. I asked a question that had been bugging me ever since Flynn was born before she even had the chance to say anything.

"When do we fill in all the paperwork? Like the birth certificate and stuff?" I would have thought that that would be the first thing we would have had to do, but since the birth, no one had brought it up.

Doctor Rose looked at me pityingly, phrasing what she said next as gently as possible. "Not yet. It's hospital protocol that parents of newborns in the NICU hold off on the paperwork for a while. Just until the condition of their baby stabilises."

I somehow felt even more deflated. I knew what she meant to say but wasn't saying. No point filling in the paperwork for a baby that was going to die.

"Doesn't it scare you?" I asked her, gesturing to her belly. "Having a baby growing inside you, and yet still having to work? Still having to see so many babies and mothers suffering every day, just to clock in your hours?"

That question gave her pause, but she still crafted an answer. "Of course it does," she finally said. "It terrifies me. It would terrify anyone in that profession. That much is undeniable."

"Then why do it?"

Doctor Rose clasped her hands together in front of her. "Think of it this way. Fear can't drive us and what we do. If every person feared the possibility of losing their child, we wouldn't have enough labour and delivery doctors or paediatricians. If every person feared death, we wouldn't have enough coroners. It definitely isn't an easy job, but as cliche as it sounds, it has its rewards. Like watching a pregnant woman hear her baby's heartbeat. Or seeing a mother hold her child for the first time."

I chuckled bitterly. "I could never do what you do."

She gave me a sympathetic smile. "Things are difficult for you now. There's no understating that. But you need to take things one day at a time. Today, you're stable and the baby is stable. That's something to celebrate." She paused before adding, "Have you thought about it by the way? Postnatal therapy. I know you said you weren't sure about it but I think it could really help you. It's really more common than you think, and the hospital can be discreet about these things if you'd like us to be."

I had been considering Doctor Rose's suggestion for me since she brought it up after Flynn was taken to the NICU. At first, I tried to make myself believe it wasn't necessary, and it worked for a while, until it didn't. "Yeah," I said softly. "Yeah, I think I want to start. I… I think I really need it."

"I'll get that set up for you right away." She looked down at the notes on her clipboard before making eye contact with me again. "And Arianna, there's something else you should know. The reason I came to find you. I don't know if you want me to wait until Frederic is here with you."

"Is it about Flynn?" I asked, my pulse spiking slightly.

"Yes."

"Is it important?"

"It's… not exactly time sensitive, but it's important for you to know."

I sat up straighter in the hospital bed. "Frederic can find out later. Tell me. Please."

Doctor Rose flipped through the papers on her clipboard, skimming through them. "We ran more tests, including a blood sample, and your baby doesn't have any Y chromosomes. There's an absence of them."

I stared at her blankly. "I'm a Fine Arts major. I don't know what that means."

She didn't look at me with any judgement, instead explaining in one quick line. The words she spoke next struck me to my core. "It means you don't have a son, Arianna. You have a daughter."

My heart might have been racing before, but then it felt like it stopped. "I have a daughter?" I whispered. "How is that even possible?"

"Your daughter is intersex which, to put it broadly, means an individual who is born with the characteristics of more than one sex. They don't fit the traditional binaries of male and female bodies. It's actually more common than people think, and a lot of intersex people don't even realise it because their defining attributes could be something that's purely chromosomal or hormonal. The chances of a person being intersex is actually the same as that of a person being a ginger."

"But… what does that mean for her? How is she… what's this all supposed to mean for her future?"

"Well, her defining characteristics are clearly more visible. It's kind of like hermaphroditism, having both male and female reproductive organs. We can run more tests to be sure, but as of now, what I can predict is that she'll have a penis and testicles and all that, in conjunction with the male binary, but she'll also have breasts that will grow with age, in conjunction with the female binary."

I sat there, trying to process that new piece of information. "That's… a lot to take in."

"It'll take some adjustment but I'm always around to answer any questions you might have. The hospital has some amazing paediatricians too if they'd be more suitable."

"I need a new name for her," I realised.

"Isn't Flynn gender neutral?"

"It is, but it's traditionally more masculine. I'll talk about it more with Frederic when I see him."

"Alright." Her pager beeped, summoning her to some other part of the hospital. "I'll be in to check on you tomorrow."

"Thanks Doctor Rose. I really appreciate it."

"It's my pleasure." She turned to leave before pausing. "And Leah is fine."

"Really?" I wasn't sure how much doctors had to maintain an air of professionalism around patients.

"Please. I delivered your baby. We're way past formalities now." Leah gave me a small smile before her pager beeped again, this time a little more rapidly. "Duty calls," she said before leaving me alone in the room.

I sat dumbly in the hospital bed for a few minutes before picking up my phone. Realistically, Frederic should have been the first person I texted, but instead, I opened the text thread between me and my mom. No words had been exchanged between us since the night I left, but the last text I'd typed out stared back at me, waiting to be sent. 'You have a grandson,' it read, the cursor blinking on the end. I hit backspace thrice, altering the message to 'You have a granddaughter'. Once again, like so many times before, my thumb hovered over the send button. She was online. She would have seen it come in immediately. But instead, I closed the app and chucked my phone onto the small sofa on the other side of the room.

"Hey."

I wasn't sure how much time had passed, or whether I fell asleep without realising it, but when I came to, Frederic was just getting back from work and the sun was lower in the sky. He had in his hand another bouquet of roses to replace the dying ones. Usually he alternated with the colours, but since we'd been in the hospital, he stuck to the pink ones, their pale petals doing whatever they could to brighten up the otherwise depressing room.

"Hi."

He tried to busy himself with replacing the flowers and unloading the fresh laundry he'd taken from home, but I wanted to talk to him about the new information. "Can you sit down for a second?"

"Sure." Frederic sat down in the armchair by my bed, looking at me attentively. "What's up?"

"I'm… going to try getting postnatal therapy. I know I've been sitting on the fence about it for a while but I think I"m ready to start. The hospital can have it all arranged."

He processed the information, blissfully unaware that that wasn't even the biggest thing I had to tell him today. "That's great," he finally said with a small smile. "I think it would be good for you to."

"And Doctor Rose came to see me today. About the baby."

His smile faded slightly. "Is everything okay? How is he?"

"Stable, but…" My voice trailed off.

"But?" he prompted.

"It's a lot," I warned him. "I don't want to overwhelm you."

"Tell me," he insisted. "I can take it."

"We have a daughter," I blurted out, wanting to get it out there as soon as possible.

It was as if the world around us stopped. Everything else faded away until it was just the two of us, his shocked expression staring me in the face. "You're… pregnant again?" he whispered.

"What? No!" I exclaimed, slightly amused that that was the immediate conclusion he made. Trust an art critic to not understand basic human reproduction and how it works. "No, how could I be… we didn't even… no!" That at least helped lighten the mood and I couldn't help but laugh. "Our child. Who I birthed. She's a girl. We don't have a son. We have a daughter."

He wore a constant look of disbelief. "How?"

I then went on to explain what Leah had told me, answering what few questions he had that I knew the answers to. When I'd said whatever I could, he was silent, but to my relief and complete joy, I saw a small smile creep across his face. "You always wanted a little girl," he said wistfully. "And she looks just like you. She's going to grow up to be so beautiful."

His compliment made me blush. "She's going to grow to be so loved. By both of us. By everyone, because God forbid anyone try to lay a finger on her."

"Shall we go see her?" he suggested. I hadn't seen her in two days, and this would have been the first time I could see her for who she truly was, so I jumped at the opportunity.

"Help me get the wheelchair?"

As I sat up, Frederic got the wheelchair from the corner of the room. I could stand on my own, but not for prolonged periods of time. My lower body was still in a lot of pain after the birth. That's something that not a lot of people talk about, definitely not as much as the pain of birth itself, and it should be discussed more. That pain was no joke.

Once I was seated, he wheeled me out of my room and through the hospital's winding halls. The whole place smelled sterile and depressing, like antiseptic with undertones of coppery blood. The only exception was my own room, and only because Frederic had brought me a diffuser so it smelled a little more like home.

The NICU was at the end of the hospital wing, and its entire wall was a panel of glass so that even people in wheelchairs could see their children easily. Our daughter was in the crib nearest to the door, and I found myself staring at her, unable to look away.

"She looks better today," Frederic commented. "Better than she looked yesterday."

"How did she look yesterday?" I asked, my voice hitching.

"I don't know how to describe it, but it's like today there's more life to her, you know?"

While her condition scared me, this comment eased me slightly. It meant that she was getting better.

"I wonder if her hair will go brown," I thought aloud.

"Why would it?"

"Mine did."

He turned to me in surprise. "What? When?"

"Elementary school? I was a very blonde toddler. Where did you think she got it from?"

"I thought it must have been a recessive gene. I can't imagine you with blonde hair."

"We don't have a lot of pictures of me like that, but my parents can vouch for me…" I bit my lip. My parents were rarely ever mentioned. I wanted to commit to having them cut out completely, but I still slipped sometimes. Frederic knew this though, and knew not to address it. To just let it be.

Our daughter shifted a little in the shoebox-like crib, the wires attached to her moving with her. She had a little IV drip in her foot which pinched at my heart whenever I looked at it. They put baby IVs there so they wouldn't be ripped out. I wanted nothing more than to go in there and pick her up. To take her away from all this pain and suffering. She was so young and she was already fighting so hard without even realising it.

"Leah said we can't file any paperwork yet," I said. "It's protocol for all babies in the NICU."

"Yeah," he agreed. "I've been told that too."

"It's horrible." I hugged myself tightly, my arms crossed over my chest. "They're not even letting us give her a name."

"They just need a little time, love. Once she stabilises, we'll be able to get all the admin stuff done."

"It's not just about the admin stuff, Frederic! She's been stable. Leah said so herself. I just… I want to be able to call her by name. I want the world to know that she's our daughter. It shouldn't matter that she's sick. Why can't she have that part of her identity? If she…" I hesitated. "If she doesn't make it, she'll still have a name. They won't just leave her in an unmarked grave."

"She's going to make it," he said firmly. "I know this is frustrating, but we aren't in a position to bargain with the hospital right now. We need to trust that their system works." Frederic looked at me with kind eyes, noticing my distress. "But that's not stopping us from giving her a name. It didn't stop us with Flynn. It won't stop us now."

Silence hung between us, the cogs turning in my mind. He was right about that, but it still hurt that we couldn't make anything official until she was out of the NICU. Who knew how long that would take?

"Rapunzel."

"What was that?" Frederic asked.

"I… um… Rapunzel," I repeated again. "The name. For her. Rapunzel."

"Where'd that name come from?"

"It's a character from this really niche story my parents told me growing up. I don't remember many of the details, only that the girl was named Rapunzel, and she had blonde hair as fine as spun gold, like the halo of an angel. I don't know, but it… fits. To me at least."

"Rapunzel." He turned the name over in his mouth, eyes fixed on our child, barely a few feet away from us and yet entirely untouchable. "I like it," he finally said with a shy smile. "If you want, we could keep Flynn as her middle name. I know it's not conventional, but you seemed to really like it."

"I did," I agreed. "But I was thinking of something else."

"What's that?"

"Leah. After Doctor Rose. She's just… helped me through so much. More than I can ever repay her for. She has such a kind soul, and that's something I want for Rapunzel too."

Frederic nodded along as I spoke, clearly a supporter of my ideas. Bless how agreeable he was.

"And I wanted to ask you something else," I continued, this time more timidly. I had no idea what he'd say to my next suggestion.

"Shoot."

"I wondered if she… could take my last name."

That caught him off guard. "O-oh."

"It's just that I always wanted to pass down my family name," I explained. "I know I'm not really connected to them anymore, and that was my choice, but I can't shake wanting to do this. And we don't have to decide now," I added quickly. "Just… think about it?"

He still looked like his mind was buffering, but he nodded slowly. "Yeah, okay. I'll think about it."

Frederic, bless him, was always an agreeable man, especially when it came to me, but I knew this was asking a lot of him. A child taking their mother's last name was taking unconventionality to an extreme. He had every reason to say no, and yet, I couldn't help repeating it in my mind.

Rapunzel Leah Hollen.

Maybe it was just baby fever, or the fact that I wanted my way, but I thought it sounded perfect. A perfect name for our perfect girl.

"I'll think about it," he repeated again, a gentle hand on my shoulder. We gave Rapunzel one last longing gaze before I was wheeled back to my room.

XXX

"Birth certificate papers," Leah said with a smile, handing them to me. My baby cooed in my arms, little hands reaching out, which Leah affectionately held for a moment. "And discharge papers."

"Thank you."

"The birth cert will take a little time to process, so you should fill that one in first. The discharge papers can be filled while waiting, and they do take a little more detail anyway. Have you guys decided on a name?"

"We have, actually. Her name is Rapunzel." I stroked her wispy blonde hair, holding her close. "Rapapunzel Leah Hollen."

Leah looked pleasantly surprised, a flattered blush spreading across her cheeks. "It suits her. And I'm surprised she's taking your name instead of Frederic's."

I chuckled. "It certainly took a lot of convincing. He wasn't totally sold on it until last night, and I had to pull the 'I pushed this baby out of me so she's taking my name' card. He was really sweet about it though. He knows that I've always wanted to pass down my family name, so he let me get away with this one."

"That's fantastic."

"Car's loaded up." We both turned to see Frederic sticking his head into my room. "Are we almost good to go?"

"Almost," I told him. "Last few documents."

"I'll leave you two to fill them in," Leah said. "Pass them to any on-duty nurse when you're done and they'll give you the green light to go. Arianna, I'll see you and Rapunzel in a week's time for your follow up."

"Thank you," we said in unison as she left.

"Ready to go home?" Frederic asked with a smile.

I gave him an eager nod. "I've never missed a bed so much."

The next few hours flew by in a rapid blur. I remember bits and pieces, like breastfeeding for the last time in that hospital room, snipping off Rapunzel and my hospital wristbands, bidding our nurses goodbye with cupcakes Frederic had run out to buy and my worried conversation on the drive home.

"We have nothing set up," I said from behind Frederic, next to Rapunzel who was buckled into her car seat. "Oh, we're so screwed. It's already getting late. Maybe we could set her down for her nap on the couch and tag team watching her until the crib is assembled?"

"Ari, calm down. It's gonna be fine."

"Well I don't want her rolling off the sofa. Maybe our bed would be better."

"You've gotta stop stressing yourself out."

"I'm just worried," I admitted. "I imagined that bringing her home would be so different but everything had been so rushed and now… she can't even have a fully furnished room. I don't even know if the stuff I ordered while I was in the hospital even arrived."

Frederic kept trying to calm me, but ultimately he had to endure me rambling about how nervous I was for the rest of the drive. I had no idea how he managed to stay so calm all the time, even when I was in a state of distress, which was often. Even when we'd parked and he was getting the suitcases out of the trunk while I unbuckled Rapunzel from the car seat, he was calm and sturdy like an oak.

Sam's face lit up when he saw me, the baby carrier strapped to my front. "Hey, you're back!" he said with relief. "Haven't seen you in weeks. How was everything?"

"Oh, you know… eventful," I answered honestly. "But things are fine now. Sam, this is Rapunzel. Our daughter." I introduced her with a smile, stepping right up to the front desk so he could coo over her.

"A real miracle baby," he said wistfully, stroking her hair. "Congratulations, you two."

"We've gotta get going, Sam," Frederic told him. "The girls have been away from home for way too long."

"Of course," he replied earnestly. "I won't keep you."

We said our goodbyes before heading up to the apartment. Rapunzel was awake and alert, her eyes darting everywhere. She needed another month or so before she would really start focusing on her surroundings and taking stuff in, but I liked to think that was her familiarising herself with what would be her new home.

The smell of our apartment was a welcome change from the disinfectant of the hospital. I didn't realise how much I'd missed it until I stepped through the door. "Home sweet home," I gushed, a smile creeping up on me that I couldn't stop. "We should go to the nursery. See how much work there's left to do."

Frederic hastily agreed, following me through the halls and opening the door for me. I expected to see the place just as I left it; empty except for the mural scene I'd painted on the wall. A starry night sky. But when I actually laid eyes on the room, I froze.

"Surprise!" Frederic exclaimed, giving me a side hug on account of the baby still strapped to my chest.

Everything had been set up. The wardrobe had been built and stood against the wall closest to us. Curtains had been added, pulled back to show the rest of the city. The crib had been assembled, with a baby mobile hanging above it, dangling the moon and stars which fit the theme of the room. There was even the rocking chair in the corner that I had been on the fence about getting because of how expensive it was.

"I've been setting it up while you were in the hospital," he explained. "Every time I had to come home to do laundry, or whenever I had time in between meetings, I got a little bit done."

"You did all of this?" I said in amazement, walking into the room and touching every piece of furniture, like I was making sure they were real. The mobile swayed gently at my touch.

"Well, I got some help from some contracting friends when making the wardrobe and stuff because I'm really bad with tools."

Frederic joined me in the room, and I stood up on tiptoes to kiss his cheek slightly rough with stubble. "Thank you," I whispered. "I feel silly for panicking now."

"Maybe I shouldn't have surprised you so you could have been more relaxed on the car ride over."

I shook my head. "No, it was a good surprise." Right then, Rapunzel started fussing in her carrier, wails beginning to spill out of her. "We better get her to bed. She must be overtired from the drive."

"Yeah."

He got to work setting up the baby monitor, clipping the camera to the edge of the crib, meanwhile I removed the carrier and changed her into a fresh onesie. Her diaper wasn't soiled yet so thankfully I was spared from that. Rapunzel cried all the way, prompting Frederic to carry her and bounce her gently in his arms, trying to coax her to sleep. "Maybe a lullaby will help?" he suggested.

"Go for it," I encouraged, leaning back against the crib.

"Rock a bye baby on the treetop—" he began, only for Rapunzel to cry harder. I couldn't hold back a laugh while he scowled. "My ego will never recover from this."

"Well that lullaby is pretty grim. Who would want to hear a song about a baby falling out of a tree?" I stretched my arms out. "I can give it a try," I offered.

"Are you sure? If you wanna rest, I can stay with her."

"Positive."

Frederic let me hold her, the cries still not stopping. "I'll get started on dinner then. Pasta?"

"Sounds good. I'm starving."

"Call me if you need anything," he told me before exiting the room. Meanwhile, Rapunzel was still fussing, so I held her close, bouncing her up and down to try to coax her to calm down. Frederic was probably right, and a lullaby would have helped, but it was a matter of which one. I wasn't really used to this, but one song immediately stood out to me. The one my mom used to sing.

"Flower gleam and glow, let your power shine," I began, the melody familiar on my tongue. "Make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine."

Rapunzel fell silent, her eyes drooping as I sang. She must have been exhausted. Babies slept for three quarters of the day anyway, so it was a good thing she seemed to be going down pretty easy this time. By the time the lullaby came to an end, she was out like a light. I laid her down in the crib, careful not to wake her up again. Having a baby was still such a surreal feeling for me. She looked like one of those dolls I used to play with as a kid, the ones where you could take care of and feed and rock to sleep. I loved those dolls back then, and I loved my actual baby even more.

"That's one night at home with you down, little one," I said softly. "And the rest of our lives to go."

A/N - Hello dear reader! I hope you enjoyed this next piece of Arianna's backstory. Everything seems to be going so well for our girl… which can only mean everything is about to go horribly wrong, but you guys already knew that. As always, let me know what you want to see next and until next chapter, stay safe :)

This story is also available on AO3. I also have a Twitter where I post behind the scenes content, polls, writing updates and more. Both are under the same username kalesalad003 and the links are in my bio!