I do not profit nor own Oregairu

Author comments at the end


Identity

Ahhh this past 2 weeks have been boring as all hell, after that incident in the middle of Chiba I turned to deep thought, I basically huddled in my room for a day to enter an euthymia state and try to discern what the fuck was all that.

For starters, Yukinoshita Haruno, what an odd and annoying character she is. I haven't touched a whole lot of woman breasts in my run as a man, but I know what my arm felt and those were definitely natural, talk about filling in where siblings flack, regardless even if that part was natural, she felt awfully, disgustingly plastic. Almost like I wasn't even facing the right direction I would have to look at when looking for this 'Haruno'.

I would know, in spite of all my rants and complaining about not letting anyone in because no one is genuine in this world where no one is innocent, I wear a mask most of the time, not because I want to hide my true self, no, what you see is what you get, my dead eyes and somewhat misanthropic approach to life that Komachi and Hiratsuka seem to dislike so much are real, what is not real, or at least not entirely is my natural aversion to contact. And how the hell am I misanthropic if I don't actually blatantly hate those who surround me? One may ask, well because I am a realist. No matter if I actually find someone who won't hurt me, then the roles would be inverted and I would be hurting them.

The only one exempt from this is my love for Komachi, Komachi has been my support far longer than I recount and she is the one person I trust would not backstab me, but other than that there is no way around it, hugging a cactus will always make you bleed and hurt, so it is up to one to determine if whatever abstract value you find in hugging a cactus is worth it.

Just when I was trudging towards my home I went on to think about about some dumb shit using dog and cat analogies, who was I trying to impress? Myself? There was no one listening to those thoughts, no one would say 'Holy shit Hikigaya, you are so smart and philosophical, tell me your interpretation of allegory of the cave' I cerciorated myself that I didn't mumble anything. And of course the cat and dog were there to represent my impulses and/or illogical attraction to interact with Yukinoshita, while the dog meant to say how I do not care at all about involving myself with this yuigahama girl, that was half right.

I am not changing my stance on Yuigahama, either she was going to be the third girl to fake confess to me because we all know fake confessing to the creepy lonely dude is comedy gold to normie women. Or she just gave in to some odd carnal desire, I say odd because how often I am reminded of the fish-like appearance I bestow. For all I know Yuigahama could be a really nice girl, someone you could tell your stuff and hang out with, she seems like an airhead so she wouldn't try to take advantage of me. But that's all there is to analyze, nice girls are just nice girls, even if I accepted her cookies she would find another guy that she found hotter and kick me to the curb. Nice people are generally nice to anyone, but they are never genuine, when I think "unreachable" at first I think of Yukinoshita, but I might as well toss in Yuigahama to that slot, just worse.

No matter how good my mask seems I can't help it, if a cute girl were to start messaging me or giving me bento boxes I would probably get too excited. Like the moon above your face when you're in the train at night, your deep bitterness for never experiencing what the normies cherish and the naiveness that no matter how much empirical knowledge you gather, you always come find it following you, or better yet, it's not moving, it gives you an illusion of moving in a path while it sits there above you, waiting for you to break and crawl to those false expectations, that false hope that lingers and dances, and you know what? You will always fall in your face, because you will never actually know simple, nice people, in other words.

Nice girls are my enemy.

Ah the cat analogy isn't much better, but in this case that's because I was fucking wrong, Yukinoshita won't scratch me or let me pet her, she's just indifferent. And I have to admit I am disappointed at myself for not immediately landing on that conclusion, I have lived with a cat for years for fuck's sake. It applies the same logic here, if I stretch my hand to Kamakura for him to sniff and get closer, he will most likely stare at me and proceed to ignore me, unless he wants something then he will approach.

Yukinoshita told me before accepting her request that there was nothing she wanted to ask of me, and I deemed it normal, I even told her we should get it over with so we can stop pretending to be diplomatic and get back to not giving a shit about the other's existence.

I am not going to 'pspspsps' Yukinoshita to get her attention or she will actually hurt me, but I guess I'm frustrated that I contemplated the possibility of getting closer, did beautiful looks and an impressive intellect prove enough to make me forget the lessons I learned the hard way? Even if it was a brief mental wank that's a high treason to myself.

And I had the chance to test it out, write down results and notes and compare with the original hypothesis, when monday came after that little encounter in the wild she looked irritated as all hell, and I stupidly asked if she felt shitty and wanted to discuss it, out of character for me but you know, I am president of the Service club, and one of the people I am supposed to be servicing is her, but well, it's not surprising that she clearly didn't want to share her personal life with me, so I just accepted it and kept reading.

But it's not just one example, I hate science subjects, but my first year made sure I remembered that you can't take one result as definitive, you need several to back up the evidence found on one another.

Last week we had another stupid request from Zaimokuza, thank the heavens it was not reading his stuff again, but it was worse.

The fucker found himself bullied by underclassmen that might fall deeper than him and I in the social scale, to make it short we were playing a game of double beggar against the… United Gamers club… and to top it off it somehow involved stripping, yes I am aware that's peak high school fiction. Normie fools would kill to have a chance to strip and witness Yukinoshita take her blazer and sweater off in front of them, she saw me in underwear, that's the surreality of what happened.

But there was no reaction, like at all, even if she didn't find me particularly attractive I know I am good looking, and much of our regular banter tends to involve me being accused of perversion and sexual immorality, yet she deadpanned throughout the entire thing, she blushed more with a Yuigahama hug than looking at me in boxers, expected but dissapointing.

So it begs the question again, what was it that made me not regret jumping to save the cat? So far I have not been particularly hurt, but did I really get carried on by pure hormones and a tangible superficial bond in which we insult each other until someone yields? Was that enough? Am I completely sure this was a mistake of the moment and already moving forward? To be honest I don't know the answer to any of those, I don't even know what do I think of Yukinoshita, nor what she thinks of me, but I can lower the range of possibilities to one fact I came to understand in these two weeks, and the science backs it up, Yukinoshita Yukino doesn't think of me in any affectionate way whatsoever.

The only thing left to do is to go back the way I came from.


"Yo"

Kawasaki nods in acknowledgment of me and goes back to her notebook as I put my stuff on the seat in front of her.

We didn't become close or chummy after her request, but we took it to benefit the other here in cram school. Both Kawasaki and I, and we can even include Zaimokuza for that matter can believe and uphold loner borders and territorial claims at Sobu, as the name suggests we loners are not stronger together, so we take a laissez-faire coexistence, we don't disturb each other and respect our loner spots. Erm that's not right, Zaimokuza disturbs me quite a lot, but overall we respect borders is what I wanted to establish.

This however doesn't work at cram school, it worked for me for a while, since cram school is in its defect just a replica of regular schools, the normies that go to the high schools of our district are the same normies that come here. So the classroom layout was relatively what you would expect, an assortment of normies and people who were actually there to study in the middle, lone wolves at the sides and front rows and zoners and popular riajuus in the back. I actually found the front seat closest to the door a nirvana of concentration, I couldn't see or hear Hayama's equivalent and his legion of retards here, but that was in vacation course. This time I found with horror how the room was heterogeneously distributed, not that I adverate for segregation but if I couldn't escape youthful bullshit coming from all fronts then what was the point of coming here? Until I found at the back a familiar blue ponytail that reminded me of black cloth.

We don't really talk to each other but the aura we give probably scares off Normie group 6th, Airhead Riflemen battalion. We're safe for now.

"Hey Hikigaya" that's new, I turn to see her

"What's the deal between your sister and Taishi" my heart drops, I don't want that! Komachi with another boy?! I want her to take care of me forever! Until our parents kick me out at least! Ahh I almost feel bad thinking like that traitor but Komachi is a matter of utmost importance, I have to be that pathetic of an Onii-chan, if Komachi leaves me I will probably commit harakiri.

"*grunt* Who the hell is Taishi?"

"My brother dumbass, you talked with him in that Mcdonald's remember?"

"That bug?" I ask with no hesitation, completely unaware that Honda here can be just as scary as Yukinoshita when she gets angry, what a brocon.

"Care to repeat that Hikigaya?" she glares furiously

"I-I mean, I am sure your brother is a fine gentleman, although he's not worthy of Komachi"

"Siscon" Kawamazda grumbles.

I would protest but we just concentrate on studying and part ways after that little exchange.


I reiterate how boring these past weeks have been, considering how eventful they proved to be, I kind of hated it. An eventful week does not equate an interesting one, this is the second time in such a short timespan that my comfy routine is tossed out of the window by something stupid.

Before I met anyone I really just ignored the existence of everyone as they did to me, occasionally I went to the faculty building to chat with Hiratsuka-Sensei, sometimes (most times) get hit and scolded, but that was it, a dumb essay made melcub president of the service club and that's that. I met Yukinoshita which is the ever bitter since I saw her at that bench, Yuigahama which apparently found herself attracted to me for reasons unknown to man, now she sometimes spends time in the clubroom to harass Yukinoshita whom I now know holds a soft spot for this pink-haired visitor, Kawasaki, Kawasaki? I think that's not her name, let's leave it at Kawa-something, who isn't even out of high school and already is an exploited wagie.

And here comes the second disruption of my calm status quo, an angel came once to our clubroom after worded about the service club by Yuigahama, and I mean an actual angel, the pattern blue alarm didn't go off in our radar, Totsuka whom I was shocked as all hell to find out is a boy, wanted us to help him get better at tennis for his club, apparently they suck, at first I considered stepping down as president of the service club, but that plan went nowhere.

I accepted the request but Yukinoshita ended up taking care of it, while Totsuka was ordered to train for the JSDF bootcamp. I was lazing off on a bench when I thought I spotted my father in the sand… and then immediately became an orphan after Zaimokuza out of fucking nowhere murdered my dad and commited genocide against my peopl- I mean, against the ants.

I don't really recall how things played out after that, agh let's see…

Let's start a new life from the darkness

Until the light reveals the en-

Wait, the hell? Was I seriously just that concentrated in the ants? No way, I know something happened, it involved 2 blondes… ah fuck that's right! One of them was the Hayama lad from my class apparently, I think he wanted to play tennis against Yukinoshita, I couldn't see her expression during their exchange but totsuka and I could swear the breeze got colder before Yukinoshita told them politely and gracefully to fuck off, so playing her aggresiveness in an assertive way towards someone that isn't me. seems like she will most likely be discharged from the Service club soon.

This is my last war.


Switch POV: Yukinoshita Yukino, Service club clubroom, 2 weeks since the dreadful events of the party in Hannazakicho

Out of anything plausible occurring in the casino of possibilities, what I never expected to happen was to be influenced in literary choice by none other than the creature known as Hikigaya-kun.

No, I would much rather commit Harakiri than take Hikigaya-kun's opinion into account when searching for a book. If I am to stimulate my brain in order to withstand the day I cannot even consider such perverted literature my clubmate seems to like so much as an option.

What occurred instead is that at my last trip to the bookstore I found myself indecisive at further indulging myself in western or japanese literature, principally caused by my already extensive archive of both civilization's best authors and their acclaimed masterpieces, such knowledge is priceless, but if I say so myself, I just finished going through the pages of 'Tailchaser's song' by Tad Williams and I would prefer such a superb work as that book over the Iliad and the Odyssey any day of the week, when it comes to western reads, I know what pleases me.

But when Hikigaya-kun suggested… Zai… Zaitsu? ehem When he mentioned to Zaitsu-kun to 'base' his next attempt at a novel in a foreign novel I have never read I bolted towards the actual house of wisdom in chiba (The sanseido bookstore and my apartment of course) I had to take a leap into this new branch of literature to me.

Now that I think about it, other than some Chinese thinkers I had never taken the chance to try foreign non western literary works, that and it was inverosimile for Hikigaya-kun to possess knowledge I do not.

'Feeling alone is not feeling inferior, but different. The feeling of loneliness, on the other hand, is not an illusion -as inferiority sometimes is- but the expression of a real fact: we are, truly, different. And, really, we are alone.'

As I sail through the pages of 'The labyrinth of solitude' by nobel prize winner Paz Octavio I find myself discerning the author's words,comprehended by me long before I even picked the book off the shelf I found it above a price tabloid.

Feeling alone is not feeling inferior, I wholeheartedly second that, the feeling of loneliness is ingrained in my modus operandi, in my idiosyncrasy and in my way of life.

And it is because I have never held a hand but held balustrades with a tight grip in order to not lose my balance, it has always been this way, in every aspect of my life I perfected and mastered my skill in every single duty or activity that I invested myself in, and it brought me nothing but isolation, sort of expected of a so-called 'Mary sue', after all we humans are petty and resentful creatures like that.

I wouldn't go as far in the self victimization act as to say my natural intelligence, physical beauty and impressive abilities are a curse, but it definitely proved to be an important cause of my alienation in the social wilderness, and eventually I accepted my position. Self pity is not for me, I am not inferior and loneliness is not a burden, loneliness is what forged the Yukinoshita Yukino everyone sees but no one observes.

Some people that at the very least claim to be in my position or similar tend to quote Nietzsche with that phrase I couldn't not find amusing. 'If you stare at the abyss, the abyss will stare back at you' how risible! The abyss is not worth your time. If the abyss stares at you, you give it a dead cold glare and refrain from giving it any more importance. Such was my identity.

I am fairly sure and certain of the truth in the words of Paz's book, to be lonely is not to be inferior. But when I look at my clubmate I get to reverse the question, Is feeling inferior the same as feeling alone?

Hikigaya-kun is an odd individual, despite all the verbal sparring I don't see him as the scum I constantly suggest he is, and no, I am not admitting this, I know how delighted he would be to call me a real life 'tsundere' as he once suggested. But what I have observed in his behavior is that he's also not inside the abyss, but he's giving it a good look, the difference is that the abyss is not looking back at him, nonetheless he keeps his gaze locked in it.

Hikigaya-kun is not someone I would call my friend, but I can somehow discern some things in his company, when we met I was fast to brand him a generic weirdo that would drool over my looks and eventually confess only to be rejected and cement both of us deeper into our labyrinth of solitude, but I did not find that much in him.

Hikigaya-kun is a very knowledgeable boy, after nee-san he is the first person to be able to refute and return to sender my verbal jabs, to summarize the time I have spent in the service club to be… comfortable.

Hikigaya-kun, despite his questionable reading preferences, can enjoy the quiet of an afternoon and also duel with me over some petty insult we throw at each other, his music taste is decent and doesn't seem that bad of a person. But I also know of his most noticeable side, the side he shows to the world, the tired and agonized look in his eyes, the sometimes intelligible mumbling he lets out in his naps, the way he prides himself in self-deprecation and embraces his weaknesses far more openly than I could ever hope.

In his words he calls it realism, Hiratsuka-sensei calls him an annoying and cynical contrarian, and while I do admit I can see where she comes from, I think there's more than meets the eye and the discerning ability I claim to possess.

Nee-san comes to mind, as far as I can tell she's always looking for second intentions as she usually holds some of her own, and I have never, ever seen her immediately tease someone that directly from one look.

Not even with hayama-kun, that despite her knowledge of the feelings I thought to hold for the figure of his person, the shadow figure I admired in the light of the walls, she doesn't treat Hayama-kun like that, there is something nee-san observed in Hikigaya-kun, something her nightmare vision goggles allow to detect, and something tells me Hikigaya-kun noticed.

While he does joke or suggest to be reluctant of my family, reason being his transit accident with my mother, it took him one interaction with nee-san for him to genuinely lose his calm in his words 'not-giving-a-fuck-anymore' attitude he carries.

If I were to pull the pachinko machine I would say Hikigaya-kun spotted Nee-san's cold calculating and fake person, I tip my hat Hikigaya-kun, one would think a rowdy hormonal beast such as yourself would drop dead at nee-san's femininity and cheery persona.

But that does not explain why he seems more closed off than normal these days, ever since he met me and Nee-san in the street actually, not in a million years would I conceive I would be concerned over my lack of interactions with a recently post-pubescent boy, a dead eyed one no less, but he does seem less interested in the little conversation we partake in the club, and if my memory is to be trusted I have spotted a little hurt here and there in his expression at some verbal insults I have spared in our accustomed banter.

This is absolutely not possible, Am I actually creditor to the title of Tsundere?! I refuse to believe that, this is most likely just self consciousness at the disruption of our peculiar routine in the service club.

knock knock*

"Come in" I say after a little cough from being pulled out of my thoughts

"Yahallo!"

"Yu-Yuigahama-san?" That is certainly not someone I expected to see here again, I am sure Hikigaya-kun has also called me a 'kuudere' under his breath before, but even I was able to tell this girl was given the boot last time I was in her presence.

"What brings you here?"

"I wanted to have lunch with you Yukinon!" you were so wise to premedit this and bail from your domain before it was attacked, forgive me for doubting of your fall back during lunch time strategy Hikigaya-kun

"Well, we would normally have to ask the club president for permission for your intrusion outside of Club-related business, but since I was designated as a default audit of the physical club and its key it's up to me… can I refuse?"

"Aw, don't be like that Yukinon! Come on, we can have fun! Like chit chat and gossip and stuff!"

sigh* I thought so, she didn't even wait for a second reply and is already accommodating herself, completely destroying my state of relaxation. I assume I can kiss goodbye to my serene reading and introspection time, farewell Paz-san, I shall read you at club time.

"Sp-speaking of him… where is H-Hikki?"

Oof, I didn't think she would come back to him, shall I tell her the truth? Although his whereabouts are more a reason for avoiding me than her, he didn't even know she was coming, so I can afford to respond truthfully, it'd be hard to maintain myself loyal to my vow of honesty if she started pestering me about Hikigaya-kun.

"Hikigaya-kun?" *exasperated sigh* "He does not usually consume his lunch here, I believe he lounges around in what he calls his 'loner spot' but I am not aware of the location of said spot, my apologies Yuigahama-san."

"Aw no no that's fine, I just asked because he looks hard to ignore in a place where there's only two people" she says while aggressively waving her hands and trying (failing) to conceive her flushed cheeks.

My, my Hikigaya-kun, a female peer of yours just outright admitted to not being able to take her eyes off you, and a classmate no less.

I sigh tiredly after I remember one time he came back while caressing his stomach and grumbling while rewriting some assignment that I assume got him sent to the Kenpeitai torturing ward.

Somehow after he left running towards the faculty building he forgot the original essay in which the topic was his introspection and reminiscence of his High school days at sobu, I'll just say I could not take my hands off my temples for a few hours after reading such unadulterated pessimistic garbage.

"Ne Yukinon"

"Hmm?"

"How can you talk so naturally… w-with Hikki'" she asks meekly

Goodness sake, I can feel the Amaterasu-omikami of all headaches incoming, and what better timing no? We are going to discuss a Hachiman, protector of Japan's shores and its people isn't he? Well clearly his performance at protecting my sanity and lunch time has been rather mediocre and appalling today.

"Well, Hikigaya-kun is rather prideful, so as much as I hate to give him that, it makes a good bickering opponent out of him, my time in the service club would be rather bland in his absence, so maybe try poking fun at him? However I don't guarantee how he will take it, he claims to not care about insults, but mine come from relative boredom and the natural annoyance of his demeanor. I do not hold any type of hostility towards him if you are asking why we insult each other so much."

"Ha… haha" she laughs fakely.

"I like Hikki Yukinon."

Do you promise me that? For the gods' sake Yuigahama-san you could tell from a nautical mile away, on the other side of the ocean they could probably see that in the San Pedro Mártir observatory

"A bit of a heavy revelation to make to someone you have only interacted with three times, but I somewhat thought so Yuigahama-san"

"Why? We're friends Yukinon, and was it that obvious? Haha" she laughs at what she thinks is discretion to hide the embarrassment again.

Friends? I don't really think we are, I've never had anyone to call a friend, not even Hayama-kun back in the day, much less considering what happened in Hannazakicho.

I proceed to explain her how calling someone she wasn't acquainted with a silly nickname and run out after finding out said person would not accept treats isn't doing her any favors at concealing her infatuation, and handed her a half truth by mentioning how these signs blew past Hikigaya-kun so much they landed in Sapporo. Of course I feel a tinge of guilt by omitting the information of me disclosing her intentions to Hikigaya-kun but it's not in my duty to reject her a second time, she would find out if she chooses to persevere.

"Do you like someone Yukinon?" I knew it. The divine and solar headache has arrived. In fact, let's switch religion, the heian buddhists were right, enlightenment cannot be achieved in this mortal and corrupt plain and we are still trapped and chained to the age of Mappo.

"No, Yuigahama-san, I do not hold physical or emotional affective feelings towards someone"

"O-oh, Yukinon sorry for asking but I have to make sure you are actually human and not some goddess, do you… swing the other way?"

Huh, real life reference, I thought that was something only socially unadapted individuals like Hikigaya-kun and Zaitsu-kun do, yet Yuigahama-san here did it unconsciously, is she going to ask me for the 3 pictures of me and call my beauty hideous?

And for the question itself, I apologize to myself for using rather…colourful language for this little monologue, but what the fuck?! Agh, now THIS is a headache.

I give a long frustrated sigh "Yuigahama-san, I do not have homosexual preferences whatsoever, I am getting rather angry at you not only prying into my life but also assuming things of me, I usually don't pay attention to the silly and cancerous thing my clubmate calls 'Sobu's rumour mill? But I swear Yuigahama-san, if the school starts claiming I am a lesbian woman and my family hears it, I will-"

"Ahhh gomen gomen Yukinon, I wasn't going to!"

"Then why the exacerbated interest in my intentions and thoughts on romance?"

"Ahh.. well, I was just somewhat jealous… you get to spend so much time with Hikki, and thought how come you didn't like him?"

"Oh? Well tell me Yuigahama-san, what do you like about him? What is so grand that you perceive in his person that must make me sigh for him and yearn for his presence?

"Uhhh.. well, he's kind of hot? I dunno hikki also seems smart and like, always saying fun facts and some deep stuff, what's not to love!"

I deadpan at this.

So impressed by Hikigaya-kun's ramblings, which she doesn't even understand and charmed by his looks, in other words… an emo fetish.

At some point in the way my head gave up, I didn't even detect the migraine anymore.

But this does make me bitter. Hikigaya-kun proved my latest hypothesis about his ability to see through people and their intentions. He did suspect something like this would be the reason for Yuigahama-san's liking.

" I am done with the ever innocent kindness of people hurting me"

I recall those as his exact words, Hikigaya-kun already knew, either of Empirical knowledge or his skill to see through people's motives, maybe both. He knew that this infatuation was not something he could take a leap of faith in, from my perspective it doesn't seem like Yuigahama-san is a person that would purposely hurt him, but the explanation she just gave me is all I have to know, it is not genuine.

As full of myself as I may sound to a psychic, I have been confessed to dozens of times, and I would say the overwhelming majority of boys and one of other girl, if asked "why do you like Yukinoshita" would probably say something frighteningly similar to what Yuigahama-san just said about my clubmate, and to my knowledge none of them is still trying, they just resorted to talk nasty rumors about me or making me ever more insular.

Actually, Yuigahama-san might just hurt him, nice reflexes Hikigaya-kun.

I gave her an inexpressive look "Yuigahama-san, please stop talking to me"

"Uwah, I'm sorry Yukinon!"


Flashback, the night of two weeks ago, on the road to Hannazakicho village.

"-so Yukino-chan was stuck between Hikigaya-kun and the bench! The blue prince had to save her from the terrible dragon that was a crossbreed dog! Hahahaah"

Nee-san said as she was explaining and taking delight of my embarrassment in front of Hayama-kun and I, at the moment I found myself envious of Hikigaya-kun and his freedom to just say no to coming to this event, granted, he wasn't actually invited and would probably just be miserable all night as nee-san teases him and he tries his very best to not call Hayama-kun a 'normie faggot'. I hold in a giggle while I wonder if his blunt honesty and social incompetence would win over his fear of the Yukinoshita surname and the higher society.

"Huh, I didn't take Hikitani-kun to be like that, he never talks in class, hard to imagine he'd be comfortable around you Yukino" Hayama-kun says while sounding slightly more aggressive than his ever optimistic self

Where have I heard that before? He only missed that he supposedly laughed to himself. And hell Hikigaya-kun, I already know you're forgettable but the surname 'Hikigaya' is not that hard to retain.

"Well we don't really interact much, he spends most of the time in the club reading at most we exchange pleasantries and insult each other some times"

"He insults you?" Hayama-kun raises his eyebrow

"Not quite, I cannot believe I enjoy something nee-san enjoys, but poking fun at Hikigaya-kun is unironically all the entertaining activity, he's just remarkable because unlike every other fool that approaches, he actually talks back and doesn't suffocate me with his presence. But like I said, he mostly reads or sleeps until we have to leave club"

"That he does, I don't think we've ever talked, but one time I approached Totsuka-san I glanced and saw he was reading Kafka on the shore like nothing else was happening in the world."

What? He reads Murakami? The one novel about cats and he doesn't mention it, for once we could've talked like civilized people and he didn't even care to mention it. First he reads Juan Rulfo and now Murakami, I am starting to suspect he just brings those cheap erotic novels to annoy me.

...

After about 3 hours of the same old repetitive routine that played exactly how the past hundred Yukinoshita-held parties, events and festivals played out, I arrive at the same conclusion.

This. Is. Boring.

I greeted everyone mother and Nee-san wanted me to greet, I chose between my repertoire of verbal monologues to ramble about when adult elites ask me about my life, as if they cared in the most minimum.

These people actually refer to each other as 'right honourable gentleman' . Are we in the British parliament? If so can the IRA please hurry up and act again? I'd even take the BUF just please someone stop this tortuous larping.

"Yukino, good evening"

"Hayama-kun. I believe we greeted each other in the car, or have I somehow missed the passing of 24 hours and this is not today for me, but in fact tomorrow?"

He sighs "Ever the sarcastical… you look great in that Kimono"

"I see, have a good time for the rest of the event Hayama-kun"

"Ahhh… wait!"

"What is it that you want now and requires my presence Hayama-kun?

"I just want to apologize to you Yukino… again. I know you're still angry, but can you please look at me in this new light?"

"Oh? And here I thought our topic of conversation from before, Hikigaya-kun was a dedicated cynic, but you come here asking me to look at you differently while acting exactly the same as when you left me to my own devices? But my oh my aren't some shameless disciple of Diogenes of Sinope?"

"Yukino, please. You have no idea how much I regret what happened in middle school, I never expected them to be so cruel with you, every day I see you in Sobu I regret not stepping in, knowing that because of my inaction and then late action you feel comfortable among someone like Hikitani-kun makes me feel horrible."

"Yet you haven't changed one bit Hayama-kun, to put things into perspective, you left me to defend Iwo Jima while you only looked from a bunker, and when you 'stepped in' they only bombed me more frequently, telling me you feel terrible isn't something that will get you gratitude from me."

He gives a halved smile and looks me in the eyes.

"I will eventually make it up for you Yukino, you'll see I do regret it."

Please do not, I have had enough of waiting for you.

But in some way, it is I who has to give you thanks Hayama-kun, your apathy and betrayal taught me how cruel and selfish people in this world are, you weighed in your reasoning the value of your fanclub and flatterers and my person, and the outcome of that decision formed my identity. That is right Hayama-kun, you created the Yukinoshita Yukino that Hikigaya-kun calls ice queen.

"Hoooh? Two fair gents battling for the beating kokoro of my dear sister? How beautiful of a story, it makes me weep!" Nee-san fakes diverting a tear from her face in a tone to playful for my liking

"Nee-san, very recently Hikigaya-kun and I assisted with a student that apparently suffers from chronic chuunibyou, and I don't think even he is as delusional as you are right now"

"Oh but I am not! I see it clear in the water! A lone wolf with trust issues that trusts you and a Lion king with a shallow pride that would want you as his queen, now that's a solid light novel right there, Hikigaya-kun loves them doesn't he? Do you think it'd get an anime?"

"Putting aside the verbal diarrhea you just spouted, how do you even know that? Wasn't it just a while ago the first time you met with Hikigaya-kun? And if I remember well he was all so eager to escape your grip."

"Hmmm that is right it's the first time I see my possible future in-law face to face, but Shizuka-chan tells me things you know?"

Ah Hiratsuka-sensei,I know you are friends with my troublesome sister, but why must you betray us this way

"Did you seriously interrogate your former scholant for Hikigaya-kun's Curriculum Vitae?" I say with a sigh

"Mmm and I already want to know more! Like his tolerance to the sweet sweet liquor for example, do you think he will like Sake or Soju better? Or will he remain unfazed through it all?"

"Are you even listening to yourself nee-san? Getting a minor inebriated is a serious crime."

"Relax Yukino-chan! It will only be an experiment I will observe thoroughly, I already have my hypothesis, and I think Hikigaya-kun won't get sloshed at all."

"Just please leave me alone, whatever you see interesting in those two does not concern me at all"

"Hooh we will see Yukino-chan."


Fucking hell, this one was hard to write.

Ok several points to go through:

1.- I know I lost the updating momentum I had, but I recently started my last high school semester, and sadly instead of the aftermath of a prom with a lovely girl I have to deal with useless classmates at the pile of team work and University admission process.

2.- The 'nice girls are my enemy' monologue at the end was a pain in my balls to write, Hachiman is the 'literally mee' character in my case and I pride myself that his monologues in previous chapters come naturally, but I don't think I could hack that part so I had to have one eye in Volume 2 and the other one in the keyboard, apologies if it's shit.

3.- I know how much of a chronological clusterfuck this is, but with Yuigahama out of the equation I had to tailor some stuff, this was originally a very long chapter, but given how the nice girl part at the start demoralized me I resorted to the Yukino POV and decided this will be dissected in 3 chapters, 'bonhomie' is under work right now and should cover the summer camp, 'red teeth' will cover the cultural festival.