I do not own or profit from Oregairu
Fuck it. Author comments at the beginning, there'll be an afterword in the end explaining my disappearance so this'll be some brief shit to point out., the whole story will be in the afterword at the end.
First, I noticed like halfway that I referred to Haruno like 3 different ways all from Hachiman's perspective. If I don't get heavy balls I'll correct that later. Also, I was convinced 'presidium' just means a committee, so I used it a lot, but some translators say it's exclusively soviet, ignore the communist scum if they taught you it means that xD
Second, I was aware my favorite franchise in the history of my life (Oregairu has basically raised me) was set in 2011, I even mentioned 'Vita-chan' in the chapter 3 I think, but my zoomer ass flooded everything with references that don't fit in that timeframe , so there's that. I won't bother changing it to 'Switch-chan' just assume the pandemic didn't happen in this AU and he kept it, I still have my Wii after all. As of now I'm the same age as Hachiman and Yukino in canon (17) but when they were 17 I was fucking 7. (Holy shit, Hiratsuka-Sensei would be old as fuck now)
I tried giving Hayama a personality other than 'haha arranged marriage goes brrr' since the love triangle this time is Yuki-Hachi-Hayama replacing Yuigahama. His role will be further developed in forthcoming chapters.
Oh and finally, this chapter is loaded. I got various reviews saying I'm rushing the story, and although a lot of shit happens in this chapter, I think the pace got slower, and I surpassed the 10k words from chapter 5, now enjoy or suffer.
Edit: I'm keeping that sentence above just to contrast how much I wrote since then. Behold.
Over Twenty Thousand words. I wholeheartedly wish you enjoy them, because I will kill myself if 20k words end up being shit.
Red teeth
Hachiman Pov:
"Soo? I found out you like being a mat for people to wipe the mud of their boots huh? Will you be a mat for Yukino-chan?"
Patience.
Prudence.
Verbal contingence.
Dominion of science.
Presence, or Absence,
according to convenience.
Just what I was missing, this whole trip denied me the sweet rest I need to carry on with the safari on normieland my weeks use up, I wanted to go back home to sleep as soon as possible,
"Ho-How do you even answer that? Yukinoshita, I think your sister is suffering from a cerebral vascular event, you'll might want to take her to the Hospital"
"It seems you're right for once Hikigaya-kun, Nee-san is spouting nonsense while appearing conscious. she might have come in contact with ammonium"
"My, look at you two! Synchronizing a joint attack together, I'm so proud of you Yukino-chan! Just make sure to not leave your onee-san far behind!"
Opportunity window. Here codename 8eyes. codename snowcat taking fire. Useful distraction. clear path to fall back. Small Rice and Small Angel, we move East in 4 seconds, preparing for the tactical retreat.
Before Komachi and Totsuka could pick up on my morse code blinking, Yukinoshita-san reaffirms her grip on my arm, and we are encircled again.
"Mou Hikigaya-kun! I told you to wait! what's so important that has to take away time from me for a meet and greet with my future little brother-in-law?"
"Uhh.. Me and Komachi have to go to the market. we have to buy… erm.. water."
Hiratsuka-sensei facepalms and Yukinoshita just shows disappointment. I swear my IQ is not negative 4! It's just hard not to choke to psychological torture.
"I see…"
The elder Yukinoshita lets go of my arm, holy shit,that worked?!
"Go buy your water Hikigaya-kun, I don't want you to be thirsty…"
I don't like where this is going.
"But!" She says chirpily again, I knew she wouldn't back down, why does she pester me so much? This is the second time she has seen me, not like we're lifelong companions
"You have to come with me and Yukino-chan to another event like the one I wanted you to come last time!"
To this Yukinoshita finally interjects
"Nee-san, I have no problem with letting you have an awkward night in the company of Hikigaya-kun and Hayama-kun, but this time you'll have to go on without me, I have already informed mother."
"Oi! Don't throw me under your own bus Yukinoshita, I'm not going anywhere with Hayama, and sadly with you as an exception I like to stay in a 10 kilometer radius away from any Yukinoshita family member."
"Ara. So can I expect to be designated club president soon? I reckon that if you leave, the room IQ average will increase"
Grrr "... I've tried, but Hiratsuka-sensei has other plans"
"Ehem!" The eldest Yukinoshita reminds us of her dreadful presence, so I turn to face her again
"I accept your excuse Hikigaya-kun, on second thought it's better this way.." The eldest Yukinoshita says tauntingly while glancing at her sister. To my knowledge, there's no such thing as a 'hachi-sense' within my loner abilities yet, I have my natural avoidance of conflict and danger, that's granted given my veteranhood, but just interacting with this pair of troublesome women is making me develop a substat for that skill. I feel uncanny at whatever is coming out of Haruno-san's mouth next.
"But I gotta ask Hikigaya-kun, do you like to drink?"
"Humans need to drink in order to keep up, depends on what we drink if we make it far"
Of course, I can spout as much pseudo-intellectualist crap as I want, but the truth is that, with the sheer quantity of MAX I consume in a weekly basis, I won't make it that far, you can say I've even corrupted my clubmate who is currently narrowing her eyes in annoyance.
"Well said Hikigaya-kun, it depends entirely on what effect the drinks have on us… so whatcha like to drink Hikigaya-kun?"
"Nee-san, stop it."
"um, well I like to say I run on caffeine and sugar, so a good can of Max should get me through most things."
"That so? well I'll be sure to arrange something very very sweet that will also keep you awake! and it'll come soon Hikigaya-kun, I'm talking like, tomorrow in fact!"
I nod hesitantly as I mentally devise a plan to barricade the door to the clubroom, like I said, I can feel the Hachi-sense going off like crazy!
"Let's go Yukino-chan!" After a while of fooling around you could see Yukinoshita's soul being drained when she prompted her annoying sister to wrap it up, and so they said their goodbyes, leaving us to part ways with sensei and Totsuka.
The next day what Totsuka, Rumi and Yukinoshita warned me about in the camp came to realize. I mean you don't have to be a nostradamus to predict this, throughout the entire morning I heard people talk smack of me for insulting a bunch of kids and dressing like an idiot to do so, most in class didn't even know me beforehand, but now they knew there was this weirdo among them, and how I hear it, news were getting around the whole year of a disturbed dude with repressed rage losing it in a weekend camp against some poor children. I'm impressed Sobu, you have an excellent batch of future drama and gossip show hosts and magazine columnists.
With the decision to snooze away the murmurs and ramblings by the teachers taken I started to reflect on that whole trip. Digressing my little stunt for a little, another thing to point out is how this affected the club, or rather Yukinoshita and I as the only members. I assume we both noticed how after we met that night in the middle of Chiba we kind of avoided each other a little, I really got confused a little bit after all, I still am. I think I successfully pushed those concerning thoughts away after these two weeks of observation and analysis, but out of nowhere we got roped into a sketchy trip (I got kidnapped by Hiratsuka and Komachi) and we sort of… made up. I could deem it as product of a shared unconformity for the shitty circumstances, since at first neither of us wanted to be there, but my plan still pushed her away during its first (failed) phase. What the hell happened in between? Because I tell you, never in my wildest dreams did I picture Yukinoshita sneaking up on me and SINGING.
I still blush at the memory of it, I mean, it felt like everyone including me was acting a bit away from what I would expect in normalcy, I for one not only didn't die of awkwardness and self consciousness (albeit I came close to it), I even invited her…to listen to music with me. Granted, we do that fairly often in the clubroom, but it's not the same thing. It's REALLY not the same thing, I felt like having a heart attack the whole time!
But there's another wildcard to consider, Hayama. Why would he say that knowing I was there? from an outside perspective I wouldn't assume I am a participant in Sobu's rumor mill, but still, does the man lack any trust issues whatsoever? or is he that noble he doesn't think he can be betrayed? Not that I will actually betray him because I can't really be bothered with it, I don't gain anything from doing so.
Flashback:
"Hina's really great, y'know."
I figured you would say that, I caught you looking a tad too deeply earlier today when I recruited you, alas, that's entirely your business, and my business is far away from this cabin at this moment.
Tiptoe… tiptoe..
"What about you Hayato?"
"Me? I don't know Tobe, this whole thing is kinda hard"
Well I'll be damned, if it's hard for you then it's catatonically impossible for me
Tiptoe… tiptoe..
"Aw man, no way! You're like the ladies man of our batch, everyone wants you, but who do you want bro?"
I'll be double damned, a blockhead like Tobe just replied in the best way possible, I can sin of assuming he would say some dumb shit like picking a random airhead with.. generous assets, since most likely she would instantly say yes.
Tiptoe… tiptoe..
So…close… doorknob…
"sigh… Yukino is… she's also really great, it's just that-"
"cough" shit! No no nono… I blew my cover, ugh
"Hikitani-bro?"
"Hachiman?"
"Hikitani-kun?"
Proper of agent twilight himself, nice one Hachiman. If I'm lucky I can bullshit my way to keeping my molars and my fingers.
"I-uh… I was going out for a bit… I feel like I shouldn't be part of this conversation."
"w-why not Hachiman?"
I'm sorry my Angel! But in all seriousness, being tied down to a post after a failed date of my dear otaku teacher sounds like a better plan than listening to a pair of normies play the loves me loves me not. No, I'm no masochist but I seriously want out.
"Well, this stuff's pretty personal business after all, don't mind me."
"Ah that's no big deal Hikitani-bro! I trust you with this"
"Well, thanks. I won't tell anyone, but still, it feels like intruding."
"Okay.." Totsuka says dejected
As I open the door and can glance the moonlit freedom of the outdoors I get halted yet again.
"Hikitani!" I turn to see Hayama sitting straight
"What."
"..."
"..."
Goddamn it, speak normie, the tension is already unbearable enough as is, don't look at me with eyes of interrogation.
"Nothing, enjoy your stroll, take the key with you so you don't get locked out in case we fall asleep before you return." He says this in a neutral tone, but he doesn't smile mindlessly like I've seen in the brief moments I've observed him ever since I came to know of him, he's looking at me like a detective that knows his in front of the culprit.
The fact that king smiley-face is giving me advice for my well being while not putting his grin on is the ever ominous to top it all off…
Scary.
[End Flashback.]
"Oi Hikigaya!"
"Leave me alone."
"Excuse me?!"
I open my eyes and process this little exchange, of course, with all that reminiscing I actually wasn't sleeping, but neither was I awake, in between that curious realm of being half conscious my ear to brain to mouth coordination was off, and didn't realize I was talking to the one person I used to interact with some months ago, and the one person who has made me realize that frustration knows no bounds, the one, the only, Hiratsuka Shizuka.
"Eh.. ah shit, forgive me sensei, I'm… still groggy, didn't wake up correctly."
She has mercy on my soul by not smashing my head with a mighty whack, and instead pokes my forehead with two fingers making me grunt lightly.
"Language young man. Damn it Hikigaya, even when you actually tell the truth you don't even try to dissimulate your attitude, welp I guess that's just like you."
Young man? It's almost criminal to not follow up with a cheeky 'so you admit you're no longer part of us?' but that would imply I'll get sent back to the semi conscious realm again, no thank you. On a sidenote, why is everyone chatting and doing a ruckus in the middle of the room? Why are we talking like we do in the faculty sensei? not that I like to mince words in what's essentially the pregame to corpo speak, but it seems like I woke up on the last day of classes.
"What's…happening?"
"Cultural festival Hikigaya. I know you're tired from the trip, although even if you hibernated you would still ignore me damn brat-" she says the third sentence in a hushed angry tone "-but now I came to decide your role!"
"Alright. Hmmm… I'll hang the posters around campus." I say in a sarcastic triumphant tone and start motioning my head and arms to fill in as pillow again only for my ahoge to be annoyingly pulled.
"Nope. Let me rephrase Hikigaya, I already decided what you're gonna do, just came in to tell ya."
"Oh, amazing. So what will be the grunt work I'll be slaving at."
"You'll be a corporate slave."
"...what?"
"See Hikigaya, in these months we've been talking I noticed you constantly spend some seconds before or after replying to a question, monologuing your pathetic thoughts that sometimes don't get filtered through your mouth. and you regularly mumble something about being a chess master in 4D, or sometimes you say 'wonderful move' to complement that last part with a smirk, it's disgusting."
"Gehh" It almost sounds chuuni now that they're voiced, you're cruel Sensei, but fair I suppose.
"So. I took it to grab those past wonderful moves to craft me one, you're probably thinking some nonsense about the festival being an excuse by the school to exploit the poor souls of this slave world and that includes your lazy ass!"
"Uhh Sen-"
"ON TOP of that"- she cuts me off and continues her assault "-I've been hearing all morning about a mysterious Oni with eyes of a salmon yelling at some kids, who coincidentally looks a lot like the one guy that sits here."
At this point I can only stare at her and wait if there's more, sometimes kneeling is the correct option if the opponent is a 30 meter tsunami.
"... Listen Hikigaya, I know you meant well.-" I am taken aback by the sudden turn of direction of the scolding and by a warm motherly hand cupping my right cheek.
Oi oi, what the hell are you doing in front of everyone, woman?!
Granted, I have very little presence in the classroom, but we're still in open view damn it. and you were just chewing me out over recent rumors about me, geez.
Despite Hiratsuka's tomboyishness, her motherly touch and gaze startled me. Someone take her already, I swear she's not that bad!
"-but you put yourself through too much risk there… Yukinoshita came to me earlier, I can't really say I'm shocked, but you really shouldn't act so reckless Hikigaya." she says with a tender expression
"So… what is this corporate slavery I'm supposed to do?"
"You'll be our male delegate in the organization committee."
My jaw drops "wha?"
"After all Hikigaya, I'm not just worried for you, this is also a punishment, you literally blurted out your whole academic information, do you have any idea what would that do to Sobu's reputation if your little stunt gets public? dipshit."
Damn it Yukinoshita, you snitched on me?! I knew listening to songs with you was too good to be free.
"Grrr, what is Totsuka gonna do?"
"Hmm? I think he's gonna be one of the main leads in our play. We decided on French classics as a compromise with Ebina, so we settled on Les miserables by Victor Hugo."
"What role is he gonna take?"
"Errr Ebina-san said she could still make it work, whatever that means, so he's gonna do…Cosette."
WHAT? I want to be Marius now, you're a genius Ebina.
"Say, can't I be like, one of the random revolutionaries who are just standing around? Or one of the prison guys?"
"Pffft you acting in Lesmis? hahaha good one Hikigaya, but don't forget you're the emperor of wagies, so you'll be doing paperwork instead. I gotta say though, you'd be an excellent master of the house."
"Rude."
I could even be the grass if it needed be..
"Oh and Hikigaya, you barely managed to avoid embarrassing Sobu, don't embarrass 2-F now, do your job properly, something tells me your fellow delegate won't make it any easier for you, for that I'm sorry."
"Who's the other one? Yuigahama?"
"Nah, Sagami-san"
"Who the fuck is Sagami-san."
"Typical you, don't worry about it. Ne, interested in being head of the committee? If you're already getting drafted into a de facto salaryman role, why not run the whole show and do a hell of a job? I know your capabilities Hikigaya."
"Sensei, honestly. What part of 'to work is to lose' don't you get?" I deadpan.
poke
"Ow ow, stop."
"You already preside a club, and despite your usual fuckery the club hasn't collapsed, you're not that bad of a leader actually, of course, Yukinoshita keeps you in check too, but overall you guys haven't let down, I'm curious about your potential at this stage. I can almost bet you she'll be in the committee too."
"Well let her do it this time, why do you keep pestering me?"
"Oh stop that, I was testing if you would become some power hungry Machiavellian phase 2 Hikigayazord."
Oh lords, what is it with her chuuni outbursts. I take back what I said earlier, men of the world.
She's now giving me a glare and raising her fist in anger, which means some of my wisdom leaked, I'll humor her.
"Yeah, yeah…Tokoton yare ton yarenaaa" I say with a fake enthusiasm
"Heh, that's right shrimp. You might be emperor of wagies, but I'm boss here, and you just said what happens to those who defy the Imperial army."
"Hai Hai, Hashimoto and Kuzuha are our glory"
"Alright Hikigaya, I'll catch you later in the presidium."
Ugh, what a drag, she's no different than Zaimokuza when she enters history buff mode, but she's cute and has a nice a- I should stop thinking this in case of another containment breach. I'm not a pervert.
After classes ended I headed to the clubroom to inform or wait for Yukinoshita so we could leave for the conference room. I was in a weird parole from the rest of the class being forced to stay behind and plan ahead for the play and everything needed for its completion, but I couldn't nap the hours in the clubroom, neither Sensei or Yukinoshita would let me live if I tried that.
As I turn around the corner of the hallway I see the aloof Ice queen turning the keys in the door, she's wearing something different than her standard Sobu blazer and sweater that usually adorn her figure. Counting yesterday that was monday, this week has been rather hot so it shouldn't be a surprise to see Yukinoshita's blue vest to match with her cool gaze, but it actually is a surprise, huh. She looks good.
"Ah Hikigaya-kun, you're surprisingly early for club activities today. I must inform you the acting president that I will leave shortly. I just came here to tidy up a bit, we've been away for 3 days, dust must have accumulated in the room."
"Suit yourself, it's not gonna kill us for a few days. Anyhow, I too just came to drop my bag here."
"Oh? Aren't you going to laze here the hours evading the work of your class, reading and or sleeping?"
"Heh, that does sound nice, a good and deserved rest for the mind from the cacophony and stench of this world. But alas, such gifts I was not meant to have, for a certain someone's snitching sent me to the gallows, in this case managing books and reports for a poorly made dramaturgy by loud fucks." I say with a glare
She shrugs "You deserved it. Although I do fear for the end result of 2-F's work if you are its representative in the committee. Poor class, having to rely in its sole female delegate due to the lack of work ethic and dedicated negligence of one boy…" she grins smugly causing me to grumble away my annoyance
"So which play will you be managing?" She unexpectedly keeps the conversation alive once we enter the clubroom and decide tea wouldn't hurt, since we have a 10 minute margin before session starts down in the conference room
"Um, LesMis."
"Hoh, so you did listen to my suggestion back at Chiba Village."
"It wasn't my idea, apparently Ebina had some… creative differences with Hiratsuka while I was cold, so to quell her homoerotic fantasies we settled in this one, of course we will not include the docks scene, and since they're like 30 guys excluding whoever makes essentials like sound and costume, it'll most likely end poorly. Regardless of my amazing labor of course, hm hm." I cross my arms with my eyes closed to rest them a little bit before all the office bullshit
"I see" Yukinoshita says amused, although I can't see I can sense where this is going, her light giggling says so. "You know, you would make a stellar appearance as…"
"Call me something stupid like Hiki-Thenardier-kun and I'll call you Yukinon for what remains of the year." I cut her off
When I open my eyes I see a bitter Yukinoshita looking sideways while repressing a pout, me returning it to her court must have hurt her pride, it earns a light chuckle from me.
"So what are you guys gonna do?"
"My class decided to do an elegant bingo and pachinko hall 'night'."
I smirk "Huh, so Sobu's wealthy does not waste a chance to turn the great casino of probabilities into an actual casino in order to profit off the gullible and easily impressed, that sounds about right. Swimming in a shark tank and luring the blood rather than chasing its aroma. Are you sure it wasn't your idea?"
"Wha? Well you're no better! What part of Japanese culture is presented in Les Miserables? Are you replacing the Friends of the café with some hecklers from Minshuto during Sanrizuka?" she says with a tone of actual distaste
"I wasn't serious you know? I was just teasing you. But I'm curious about what you would suggest, I gotta agree with you, for a cultural festival it's a weird choice."
"Hmmm, you could have entertained the younger guests with a play starring Pan-san and Marie the Aristocat."
"Well a show of those two fooling around Chiba and Tokyo landmarks wouldn't be hard to craft, but I don't think the kids would appreciate something so lame." I shrug
"Excuse me?" The room temperature drops as the aquamarine eyes that were gorgeous a few moments ago, now show murderous intent in full force, second time a beautiful woman exclaims those two words with danger popping in the environment today, women are scary.
"uhh what did I say?" Normally this would be called 'playing dumb' but I really have no clue what triggered Yukinoshita's arctic gaze
She sighs "Do you have a moment to talk about our adoration and comfort, Pan-san the Panda?"
And so she exposed for the remainder of our time there about the fucking bear. Whilst normally Yukinoshita talking about something interesting to her would be all the enrapturing. Something I will absolutely never say out loud, that goes without saying. The feeling was rather passive aggressive, she clearly enjoyed herself when explaining about the creator's inspiration for the character, her stash of merchandising and books, and how absolutely stupefying and amazing is the experience of Pan-san's bamboo hunt in Destinyland.
And I listened with my full attention given to her, I say it felt a little deadly because not even Hiratsuka makes it so hard to look away when facing such passion, one for a cartoon bear and the other one for a miscellaneous range of topics, from Gurren Lagan to some sadistic joy she finds on publically harming me .
I say I gave her my full attention, but that's still confusing, while every word she muttered I registered (This happens for approximately 3-7 minutes right after I am forcibly woken up normally) the survival instinct makes you pay attention, and that was more or less the amount of time we spent there before heading out towards the meeting, but when she was talking I generally only looked at her direction, because in some moments I looked directly at her… it really was enrapturing, her eyes cutely showing some ironic warmth when she mentioned the first Pan-san book she ever had as a birthday present when she was little.
Yukinoshita Yukino can be assertive without being aggressive alright, and at that moment…I really wanted to hug her.
Sigh, welcome back concerning stupid thoughts.
The gods of Romantic Comedy are laughing at me right now.
Already in the conference room I noticed no seats were actually arranged nor was it required for the class delegates to sit next to each other since there was no fixed layout other than a table for the StuCo president, and the to be elected head and vicehead of the committee plus some extra seats for miscellaneous appearances like a Professor… ominous.
I grabbed me a seat in a corner in the far south side of the room, next to someone looking like generic-kun and behind a Npc-san, not that I wasn't a background character of course, so I guess I'll blend in perfectly, do whatever I have to do and bail at once. I guess you have to make the best of whatever bleak conditions you get forced upon, but let me say something loud and clear. I'll jump off a bridge before ending up a salaryman.
While I was reassuring things to myself, a fluffy and cutesy voice that would resemble a more knowledgeable Yuigahama if I were to guess blind dumped me back at reality
"Min'na! My name is Shiromeguri Meguri, to most of you guys I'm your upperclassman, and to some of you I'm your fellow third year. As President of the Student Council I hope we make a spectacular and super awesome cultural festival!" She says while pumping a fist.
Right, so an extremely outgoing cutesy girl wants us to do well, allow me to add that to the list of reasons why I should give a crap about this whole thing.
1: I'll die if I even try to play hooky
2: I still have no clue who this Sagami-san is, which apparently is not here. if she is then she didn't adress me, not that I would do otherwise
3:
That's pretty much it, of course Yukinoshita would have a field day if my play fails, but I already found a way to counter that one. Alright, I'll pour in some effort, despite this Shiromeguri girl being my senpai, she feels more like a protectable little sister, I shall channel 5% of the energy required to go full onii-chan mode.
"So, let's start this meeting shall we? It's about time we-"
"Sorry for being lateee"
A girl interrupts her, yet again with a Yuigahama-ish tone, what is this? Did I just invent the Gahama index to measure the normieness in someone's voice? I should patent that.
"I'm Sagami-Minami from class 2-F, sorry I got held up correcting some stuff back in classs" Nobody needed to know that, nobody introduced themselves other than the stuco president. If that's my partner delegate, then it's safe to assume I'm fucked, what did she correct back in class I wonder.
I scour through the conference room with my eyesight only to land in Yukinoshita throwing me an amused look that is very much enjoying my suffering and dread, I respond with a tired glance.
"Sagami sit down." Holy shit! when did Hiratsuka-Sensei arrive?! We have seen Stealth-Hiki and Stealth-Yuki in action, is this the birth of Stealth-Shizu?!
"Sureee"
"Um, alright people! First we'll divide everyone in work teams, and then- Woah ho! Are you perhaps Yukinoshita-san, younger sister of Haru-san?" She lost her focus after spotting my clubmate
Yukinoshita can't conceal her look of disappointment and mild disgust.
"I am."
"Amazing! I already just, know that this Cultural Festival will be incredible with you in our crew! Yep, yep!"
"I see, I will do my best Shiromeguri-senpai."
"Would you be interested in the head of the committee position? We can arrange it from the get go!"
"I will work to the best of my abilities to fulfill my responsibilities as a member of the committee and delegate for 2-J Shiromeguri-senpai."
"Oh, I see" Shiromeguri says with visible disappointment as well, and at this point I start to feel a glare coming from the other end of the room, Hiratsuka-sensei is eyeballing me hard while bobbing her head to the left, signaling me to volunteer for the job.
Hahaha, no. To start off, if I volunteer, Yukinoshita would feel I'm trolling her and change her mind, which Shiromeguri would of course choose over me, I mean her eyes were shooting fireworks while offering the job to Yukinoshita for god's sake. And to follow that up the rest of the committee would probably look at me, puzzled and wondering "How did this frog looking guy get inside" to which I would wryly chuckle and then die in a ditch. And to finish it up, it's way too much work…
On top of checking budgets and expenses for what will essentially be a Yaoi dramaturgy in 19th century costumes I have to pick up a another task from a set of options, which after careful consideration I decided to pick Records and Miscellaneous, it looks less demanding than the other options, worst case scenario they toss me a camera and tell me to take pictures around campus… man, if I can take pictures of Totsuka in a Cosette dress whoever gets tasked with fixing the photos in an album will get some great ones from me.
I was apparently smiling like an idiot to myself, since generic-kun is looking at me with disgust. Up yours man, you'd think the same thing I'm thinking if you had my intel.
"I-I'll do it.. hehe"
Out of everyone, I didn't expect the Sagami girl to do it, causing me to grumble. Because essentially, this just burrows me deeper in a bigger workload now, Sensei did warn me of this, but now that she has the option of shielding herself behind the responsibilities of the Head, I'll have to carry the entire inspection for 2-F's shit. It's like the gods are going the extra Kilometer to screw me over.
"Nice one, you'll do!"
After Shiromeguri-senpai determined that she wouldn't get better options she called it and lifted the meeting for us to bail, with around half an hour of clubtime left I suggested to Yukinoshita that we left early, which she sheepishly agreed to, you could tell the Ice queen was not happy of being yet again having to put up with comparisons and intrafamiliar competition.
After a goodbye and basic (borderline unnecessary) diplomacy we parted ways, not that unnecessary though, an angry Yukinoshita is a Yukinoshita bound to get lost, so I sort of meant it when I told her to take care.
There was also something bugging me.
"That so? well I'll be sure to arrange something very very sweet that will also keep you awake! and it'll come soon Hikigaya-kun, I'm talking like, tomorrow in fact!"
Well today sucked, which means I won against the beast, my day was bitter and I desired nothing but the comfort of bed-chan through it all, if I was still in my chuuni phase I could pose while imagining flames behind me and 'live and learn' by crush 40 blasting in the background. For no wild Yukinoshita-sans appeared anywhere to make my day even worse.
When I got home I started getting suspicious of some things, for starters, the one welcoming back wasn't Kamakura flipping me off in puss which could be intelligible in any language of the world, but Komachi. How strange, I even bailed with around 30 minutes margin to arrive earlier than her.
What's even more of a heresy than a rarity, to make my day worse I was denied from the divine food that Komachi cooks, she didn't tell me a reason why, but there was this aura of plotting Komachi that the ever ominous, always flies above my stupid onii-chan head.
In hindsight, the little faces she was making right now were not that different from those she was making before colluding with Hiratsuka to get me out of the house last weekend. Who corrupted you Komachi?!
When I accepted my fate of not eating today for whatever reason fate decided I headed upstairs to dip in my bed for a while in order to have a debate with Morpheus and Uzume, but an outfit I couldn't have assorted myself was lying on my bed, again blocking me from obtaining relative happiness.
"Komachi-chan! Dear! What is this? why are these clothes here spreaded out ready to wear?"
After examining the darkish gray button shirt, the dark brown slacks, comfortable socks and a clean and spare pair of white sneakers that I could easily use to replace my shitty indoor shoes in Sobu I determined that this was trying too hard, I couldn't think of any situation in which I would need to wear this.
That before Komachi derailed my thoughts by throwing something over my head like toilet paper to a house in those old american movies.
"And you're not done bro! Put this sweater on as the cherry on top for one hell of a look for one hell of an Onii-chan!" she says cheerily
After I pulled the large piece of cloth from my head I could see a light blue sweater with two parallel white lines encircling the right sleeve like an armband ingrained in the design and of course space for the neck of the shirt to be seen through, where the hell did Komachi get this?
"All of those are yours except for the sweater and the sneakers, I stole them from dad's closet" Komachi read my mind
"Right. And what do you want me to do with this?"
"Oh. Nothing really, I was thinking you could tie rope for a swing in the yard with them. Of course I want you to put them on Gomi-chan!"
"Oi, don't try too hard on berating me, that wasn't worth a single Komachi point."
She huffs and I continue "I know I have to wear these, but what for? you want me to laze around on the couch? What a nice outfit for such an activity."
"Why do you think I didn't feed my dear gomi-chan? You're going out of course!"
"To where? You're not coming with me? That right there is enough for me to decline."
"Bro! Stop being creepy and put them on already, I'll send you the location in a sec!"
Why are you sending me to a sketchy unknown place, I could just toss in a sweatshirt above what I have.
"Look!" She says, shoving her phone at my face with a LINE conversation open, with the last message reading the following:
[Send him to this address Komachi-chan, I promise tonight will be a night he won't forget;)]
I boldly scrolled through the great unknown, and saw the ID of this dangerous person that was messaging my sister. Yukinoshita Haruno.
Well, they do say that a talker will fall before a blind man falls.
"Komachi, block this person."
"Nope."
"You know, this could all be a ploy, we don't know who this is or what she wants, as far as I can tell, if you send me to this location my organs will be in China by Thursday."
"Aw come on onii-chan, you should be happy, someone finally noticed what's valuable about you. Say, do you think they would give me a part of the money for your lungs?"
W-wha? My own beloved sister… I changed my mind, now I do hope they make something useful with my insides, but they won't have the most profitable part, for my heart was just ripped out.
"I'm kidding of course Onii-chan, I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world." She proclaims proudly with a grin, but continues before I can ascend and grant her a trillion Komachi points "But you really should go onii-chan, come on!"
It took some more arguing to convince me, in fact I wasn't convinced at all, I couldn't think of any pleasant or desirable outcome to dressing somewhat nicely to catch dinner in a random place of town with Yukinoshita's older sister, so it's safe to say I was more kicked out of the house than convinced of going.
I took the monorail and got off at Mitsuwadai station. According to the map Komachi had sent me, this was the best place to start wandering. I didn't have to walk far once I got off the train, but I still played dumb taking unnecesary laps around some blocks to stall my meeting with such a mysterious devil woman.
I know by past experience that being 'fashionably late' doesn't work with Yukinoshita, and it usually earns me a scolding about a president that doesn't uphold Service club standards, whichever our standards are or were before I trashed them. So I think that pulling that card with an even scarier and harder to read Yukinoshita might as well be a death sentence.
On the other hand…
This Yokohama style family ramen bar is looking at me with flirtatious intent. Let's see, in the scale of 1 to 10, how probable is it for both Komachi and Yukinoshita-san to see through my lies, I don't really have to craft two different lies that they could crack just by talking to each other now that I know they message through LINE. If I tell Komachi I took Line 1 instead of Line 2 of the monorail because of my grogginess due to lack of sleep.
Might be seen as shameless to try to weasel out by claiming I got onto a completely different train line but it's not an obese chance, Komachi might just be dissapointed and relay to Yukinoshita-san that I am a disgrace of an Onii-chan and trashy and whatnot, but it doesn't seem that bleak. Yeah, I'll enjoy a nice bowl of Iekei and forget this whole thing ever happened.
Surely this will be the best I've ever dressed to get ram-
"Hikitani-kun?"
But of course. Variables, untied knots, top caste normies that ruin your dining experience before it begins. Too specific that last one huh? Well that's because I was interrupted by the voice of Hayama.
He too, dressed a little bit better for the occasion, the king of riajuus was wearing a shirt similar to mine, a crimson red vest and slim fit pants with some nice shoes. We weren't precisely draped accordingly to meet the Imperial family but it was visible from kilometers away that we weren't dressed for a casual ramen dinner.
And I say we because Hayama had spotted me and saw I was dressing nice, while standing nearby to an event he was most likely heading to. The meaning of this? There was no backing out anymore, this information would reach Yukinoshita Haruno.
"So Haruno invited you too."
"Outsourcing some people to threaten me would be more accurate." To think she even managed Komachi to coerce me, how monstrous.
He chuckles as if we were tired middle aged men exaggerating the hilariousness of my joke, attempting to establish a common ground due to our shared misfortune.
"Come on Hikigaya, let's get this over with." He says with actual tiredness
"You do know my name, why the pet name then?"
"Huh, would you believe it if I say it's for closure?"
"So you jumped on the Hikigaya hate train too. I see. I'm pleased to inform you I won't drag anyone to the underworld tonight." I retort sarcastically.
"Come on Hikigaya, I'm sure Tobe was actually confused when he came up with it." He says sardonically, if I were to analyze him, he can't seem to detach himself from his role as social deity, hence he forces himself to interact with me as if we were mates. But from some time back he seems wary of me, not that I blame him. I openly despise people like him
We walk the blocks I was evading in complete silence and with a distance kept between us, if he was to follow suit and think of some sort of symbollism for this, let just say it means a billateral 'fuck off will ya?'.
When we get there I find myself having a hard time thinking, whether out of not knowing what to expect or dread. The venue seems like a western open air event site, it doesn't scream 'I am a site rented by a family composed of a diet member and an aggresive woman that runs over loners for free time, I am here to entertain the elites' so I at least get some security that I won't be facing real important people.
And digging further, what even is this party? It's Tuesday halfway through the year, I don't think today's a holiday. Yet here we are, waiting for the beast to find us, in the middle of this richman's bull session which admittedly, seems calmer than a festival or a party, so it could have been worse.
When a waiter leads Hayama and me to a table, apparently under previous instructions (Gee, given by whom I wonder) we order drinks and sit awkwardly in silence, as Hayama seems to dread having to put up his zoner smile for the evening. Seems like this tertulia hasn't yet started, again, it's tuesday for fuck's sake. Even if this isn't some massive party, it's already 7:30 and we're of the few guests that have arrived, do rich folk take wednesdays off?
"Hikigaya"
"Ah" I let out a groan like sound as I indulged myself in a microscopic stare to the ice cubes of my drink
"May I ask you something?"
"You may ask"
"You don't see me in a good light, do you?"
Hmm, I did say something to Yukinoshita that I would badmouth this guy to his handsome face. Normally, weaseling out of something and renounce my so called honor and pride wouldn't bother me in the least, but this is more or less the creed of the loner I proclaimed high and mighty to the ice queen, if I back out, do I have the right to mentally trash riajuus? Eh, what the hell, let's get myself kicked out, as soon as possible.
"Hayama, I kind of hate your guts to be frank." I say as I alternate my stare between him and the cubes
"I see, kind of ironic that Haruno pushed us together. I'll try not to ruin your evening." He says solemnly
"Ah don't sweat that, from the moment I stepped out of my house- scratch that. From the moment I was chosen delegate for the commitee today my whole day was shit."
"..."
"Oh by the way, what will you be doing for the festival" I ask without looking at him
"Err, as much as I didn't want this, I'll co-star in the play with Totsuka-kun."
I choke on my drink
"Wait. You're going to be Marius?!" He nods
"Go explode and die" I mutter between teeth, prompting him to chuckle
How fucking unfair is that? I mean, sure, I'm not too keen on acting in a crappy play that will cut so many scenes because of understaffing and low budget problems, it'll barely make sense to the audience, but having the chance to sing corny shit to an angel and having her…him sing back, that's a once in a lifetime opportunity, and prettyboy fuckface over here beat me to it.
"So you'll be doing paperwork and administrative stuff right?" He chooses to drag the conversation on
"Yeah"
"I see, you'll be working around Yukino again."
Ah, lovely. We're gonna talk about the girl he likes and my (nonexistent) correlation to it, seems like Yukinoshita-san was wrong, I already want to forget this night.
"She's in the commitee, yes."
"Then I suppose the festival will go smooth and sailing if she's there."
"Most likely."
After that we don't say much, we do get approached by a bunch of people as the guests start coming in. Hayama puts on a flawless smile of warmth and welcome as he proceeds to greet, handshake and hug those who come to him, some thought process in the lines of 'your little friend over there looks a little pathetic Hayato-kun. You're so nice to bring him in! But we don't want to come out as snob dicks, so we'll greet him awkwardly' So I reciprocate with some discreet nodding and greeting here and there. After a while we're left alone.
"I hate coming to these things"
You'd think that came out of my mouth, since the statement is correct, I hated every second I already spent here, hate the current fleeting moment and hate the prospect of the next second, but if you pay attention. The sentence said 'things' and not a singular 'thing', I had never been to an upper class gathering. The one who said that was Hayama.
"I second that, I can't wait for Yukinoshita-san to show up so I can bail without my sister nagging me."
He chuckles dryly again, but it seems more legit than the blatant bootlegs he gave me for laughter a while ago "Guess, we're on the same boat again, I hate smiling like this."
Seems contradictory to what I have seen from you in school and in the camp. But oh well, sucks to be you I guess.
My doubting must have shown on my face because he continues with his rant.
"Yeah, if what you're thinking is what I assume you're thinking you're right. I'm a hypocrite, I hate doing this, but I'm chained to this farce."
"Get disowned and be free then."
"Not to my family Hikigaya. You said earlier than you hate me, is it because of my personality?"
"I don't think I have even glimpsed at your personality Hayama." I say with some venom, I mean, if I'm going to fill in as therapist then my evening keeps getting worse and worse. My dissapointment is measurable, and my night, what the hell my night was already fucked.
"Sadly, you're right, I have never been hungry in my entire life. In both meanings of that phrase."
Well I can see what you mean, You clearly had a wealthy upbringing given I'm here with you and a buch of upper class lords and ladies come flocking to greet you. But what else could you be saying Hayama?
Both meanings… This guy outclasses me in Japanese Literature by a spot. Ah, so that's what he meant, of course I'd catch his reference.
"I see, what a thought to share with a stranger, Hayama Yozo." I give my glass a sip to seem cool after I said that, how strange to balance the border between chuuni dipshit and cultured lad
"Sharp, honestly I don't know how you always stay behind me in the score rankings."
"Oi, if you were already showing a peek of your true colors don't go back to cheap flattering and hollow humility." I scoff "I wouldn't buy it anyways."
"Heh, but I reiterate this one thing Hikigaya, you're sharp.
Yukino hates coming to these too, but I sort of wish she was here, maybe with you here I would have the balls to come clean. Not that I haven't tried."
O-Ok?
"Um, I don't know where you're aiming at, but I won't come to these anymore, I'm not a scamming life coach."
"But Yukino will come, and you won't, and without you here, she'll probably only see more disgusting lies from me."
"Uhh, if you say so. I didn't really know Yukinoshita comes to these often."
"She didn't tell you?" He archs his brow
"Why would she? We're clubmates because we're being punished, we're not close."
"Then what about that time you saw her with a kimono and you saved her from a dog." He spits.
Oh right, that happened.
"Huh, that did happen. Funny I forgot that, since that was the first time I saw the beast who's responsible for my presence here."
"You..you forgot?"
"Not initially, I noticed she seemed more closed off after what happened there, which leads me to believe something happened in the event that annoyed her, but in the following weeks she didn't tell me anything whatsoever. So my earlier statement is correct, Yukinoshita and I only interact because of club obbligations, that we met in the street was a mere result in the casino of probabilities." Not a word of the shit I just said was a lie, but I somehow feel like a Tsundere.
"How ironic, you shrug and forget so easily, but I can't forget, I cannot forget, ever."
"Damn, so you two actually dated in the past huh? She never explained why she's wary of you. Quick tangent to reinforce that we're not close at all. But I suspected that when she thought I wouldn't have the courage to badmouth you to your face." I feel annoyed
His brow is twitching "You said bad things about me to her?"
"Relax normieboy, we made clear like 20 minutes ago that I don't know the first thing about you, stop being paranoid. And I didn't tell her anything I wouldn't say to you, for example that I would put a mask in your presence to not catch acute riajuu fever, but she turned it around and insulted me, so there you have it. Rejoice."
He sighs "We didn't date Hikigaya, but I'm forever chained to her, what I did in the past, what I stupidly let go off… I would give every single abstract relationship I have now to get back, losing Yukino was the worst mistake of my life." He says passionately
…
"Hayama." He gives me his attention again
"You can choose to answer or not, again, we're strangers and I hate your guts. But perhaps your unwavering burning-hotter-than-Turkmenistan feeling stems from this guilt and sorrow? Just a dart thrown blindly."
His eyes widened, was I looking deeper than I should have? for a moment I thought Hayama hid a whole iceberg of personality and that he just may be as cynical as me, but god, normies are so easy to read.
"You're wrong…" He says meekly
"Not my problem, you can sleep soundly, given I have no interest in giving Sobu the biggest smoke screen in the history of the school to entertain the masses, but I'm not your therapist, figure out your stuff yourself."
After that the silence in the table was barely noticeable, since the music and the surrounding chattering was overwhelming, I want to leave.
"Ah! There you are!"
Can you hear that? I think the band that was playing nostalgic covers of City pop songs that would've made Hiratsuka's mom headbang was yanked away. I can basically hear Brahm's Poco Allegretto resonate as Yukinoshita Haruno approaches, draped around in a midnight dress and heels.
The sounds of her heels click to every step that the Yukinoshita deuteragonist sibling closes in on us. Stunning. Gorgeous. Fucking terrifying.
"Good evening Haruno, you finally made it to us." Hayama says, without his full Japanese diplomat aura on, neutral if you ask me.
"Oh I wouldn't miss it for the world Hayato! I finally got Hikigaya-kun to come to one of these, it's like a dream to have my two little brothers with me here! No amount of meet and greet with super important nobodies is going to keep you two cuties away from your onee-san!"
Uh… what?
She said something awfully real, as meeting important people that expect to get something out of one another seems like what she does in a nutshell, but woman what the fuck, what is this of Hayama and me being your little brothers.
"Yukinoshita-san…we've met twice before, and even if Japan already accepts it, you are NOT marrying Komachi. What are you saying"
She bursts in a fit of giggles
"Oh Hikigaya-kun, I already told Yukino-chan this over and over again, but you're adorable you know that?" I can't avoid blushing like an idiot, but a mix of being flustered and uncomfortable that is.
"However, girls don't like smart guys that play dumb yknow? I will just say that in this table, facing you two, I see my future brother-in-law!" She says chirpily, to which Hayama chokes in his drink and I feel the wind slapping me in the face, Yukinoshita Haruno is pure chaos. I find myself pitying Hayama, Kami forbid seeing what would have happened if she heard what we were talking about earlier.
"Take that as you will boys." She winked at us and I noticed something in her mouth. I saw it earlier but we were too distracted listening to her rambling and baiting, her front teeth are red.
"Yukinoshita-san?"
"Hmm?"
"What's in your mouth?"
"My, my Hikigaya-kun, aren't you sly? I would grant you access to find out yourself but I don't want to do my dear Yukino-chan so dirty! Even someone like me has limits, but maybe if you keep charming me I'd consid-"
"Alright, stop, stop. I meant there's something red in your teeth." Geez, you're such a tease
"Oh, I had a really nice strawberry daiquiri earlier, with those small strawberry bits in it, I must have and not checked in a mirror." She says while licking her front teeth, stop torturing us woman! One of us is in love with your sister, and the other one is terrified of you.
While I was thinking of teasing her back by voicing that last thought out loud followed with a 'take that as you will' to right back at her, she destroys that possible counter offensive by shelling us again.
"What did you drink Hikigaya-kun?"
"Huh?"
"Well, given that I basically dragged you to come here you were given an open bar, what did you have before I got here?"
"Just a mineral calpis drink and a minty lemonade." I had nothing to hide
"Is that so? I can see that, you didn't have any alcohol before, you're not drunk."
"May I ask what's the allegory for the booze?" she smirks at my answer
"Has Hayato told you you're sharp before?" We both freeze
"If not, Yukino-chan might have, she's also perceptive, but not that much. Ne, Hikigaya-kun." She gives me a seductive toothy smile, the red in her teeth faded a little bit because of her licks, but still visible
"-You know, in some ancient cultures around the world, from the coasts in the old world to the Mexican heartland, when bull sessions just like these were held, some women dyed their teeth with red natural pigment. It had several meanings, one was interpreted as courtship."
At this point Hayama and me are completely flabbergasted. I can see through people and generally don't get hair stuck in my tongue when the moment to say something arrives, and Hayama as wielder of a normie alpha suit of armor, he's experienced at taking control of a conversation. Yet here we are, completely subdued to wherever she's taking us.
"Do you want to practice that ritual with me? I can get us some Daiquiris to see how you hold it?"
"You know what? Fuck it, let's do it." Now I'm putting a face myself, I'm scared shitless of what getting drunk in the presence of Haruno can be.
"Hoh? Then follow suit, this way Hikigaya-kun."
"w-wait" Hayama comes back from the trance
"You needn't worry Hayato, you're already sloshed enough, you can't even see properly."
Huh? So are we going to drink or not? I think she's alternating between figurative and literal sense, anyways, tomorrow is a actually schoolday, I think I can back awa- "oof!"
The elder Yukinoshita sister derails my thoughts, so my fake bravado immediately backfires. Nice one Hachiman, you should have listened to the Hachi sense yesterday, which by the way is going off the charts right now!
As I'm being dragged to the bar I reflect on my life choices.
"So, Hikigaya -kun?" Yukinoshita-san says cheerily when we arrive
"What"
"Daiquiri or Soju, or are you daring to get some Sake with me?"
"Eh, I'll go with the Daiquiri, I have a sweet tooth. And even though I'm almost certain you made up that ritual you mentioned, I won't have you back down Yukinoshita-san." I grin teasingly as if I didn't know I was playing too damn close to the stove
"Oh stop that, call me something else, at this point it's hurting that you call me like that y'know?"
"Huh. Like what, this is the third time we've seen each other" And honestly I dread the fourth
"Well, you know 3 Yukinoshitas don't you? And to be honest-" She comes closer to me, making me look already drunk by the colors my face are taking "-I wouldn't mind coming closer to such a cute little monster of reason."
Monster of Reason… Something sweet that will keep me awake… I think this little puzzle is too much even for the Hikigaya thought machine, what is going on?
"Oh and besides, you're about to meet again someone even scarier than me, if you're gonna call someone 'Yukinoshita-san' for the sake of your nerves I suggest it's not me." she says with a playful smile
HUH?! You're not saying what I'm assuming you are right?! If you are, that is one hell of a bait and lead on woman, did you train for the KGB and the CIA a summer each?!
"Oh, Haruno. There you are, I see you've brought a companion with you."
Why are we so afraid of death ladies and gentlemen? Why are we so weak at the concept of not existing if the most certain thing is that we won't exist to witness our feared non-existence. To me it isn't that hard, for probably everyone except Komachi I might count as already dead, hell I've been dead for years. I've said before that ever since my first day of High school I've been living in overtime. Is my time up?
As an elegant and mature, almost soothing yet paradoxically rumbling with authority voice arrives at my sound receptors I find myself asking those questions. Am I about to get Isekai'd? Did it all happen so fast I barely managed to notice the sound of death arriving? I didn't even have time to react and think something like 'Ah fuck, I'm dead.'
The Yukinoshita matriarch, last time we faced each other I got hit in the face.
"That's right mother, this is Hikigaya-kun, you two have actually met before."
Since this is supposed to be a gathering and not a full fledge event held by her family, she must be asking herself what the hell am I doing here, but I also remembered that this is supposed to be a somewhat casual meeting (by Yukinoshita standards that is) of course, casual to the Yukinoshita Lady must be more expensive than my entire wardrobe. It got me self conscious to see her cream colored gabardine with a white turtleneck below, my sweater seemed shittier by the second, and Haruno's dress also seems somewhat out of place.
I'm panicking, staring at her azure eyes, our atire, the fact that I fell face first into Haruno's scheme, it all amounts to my brain being clogged into a convoluted mess, alright what to do?
"I wouldn't suppose such a rowdy barbarian as yourself would manage to behave itself in a situation that required it, poor beast."
Huh, imagine Yukinoshita having to deal with another Yukinoshita. I think to avoid her insults and embarrassing her when she talks with her sister about this I can sacrifice some politeness and a shit eating diplomatic expression. Thanks youngest Yukinoshita, by far you're my favorite Yukinoshita!
I bow curtly
"Good evening. Um, yeah, unfortunately we did meet in the past."
Both women raise their eyebrows
"Unfortunately?"
Oh. Fuck.
"Uh, allow me to rephrase that, how bad misunderstandings can be right?-" Dear gods what am I saying?! "I meant to say that the conditions in which we met last time were rather unfortunate, and following that a misunderstanding took place, so I apologize Miss Yukinoshita." I bow while shivering.
"I see, would you mind refreshing my memory Hikigaya-kun?" She asks with what at least seems like belieavable curiosity.
I would rather not, I would certainly rather you didn't remember that.
"Well, I.. I almost got run over by a car in which you were in, but I reiterate what I said last time, I don't blame you for what happened, neither did I jump in front of your ride looking to bleed you." I bow again in panic
"Oh, goodness. I remember you.-" You achieved half of what you said Haruno-san, I won't forget this night anytime soon, but please tell me what part of any of this is sweet?! "-Speaking a little bit cynically, there is no point in feeding you my regular public speaking, you saw how irritated I was that day, so I assume you will not believe a fake face."
As I'm flabbergasted by this development yet again she asks "So, can I believe you when you say you're not here seeking some type of retribution or remuneration?"
"Uhh, yes of course, as surreal as it has been for me today, I am here thanks to your daughter."
Yet another landmine I stupidly walked into. Of course, being idle for like, 3 minutes would seem like a world record for Yukinoshita Haruno, whose lips turn upwards upon hearing my last sentence.
"Hoh? So you're here for Yukino-chan? She said she wasn't coming beforehand, did you come with hopes you would still find her? Sorry to disappoint you, but only her onee-san and kaa-san are here."
"W-what? You know that's not what I m-"
"For Yukino? What relationship do you have with my youngest daughter Hikigaya-kun?" The Yukinoshita boss questions with what I assume is either deadly intent or awakened curiosity, legitimate this time.
"Umm, we're just-"
"Mother, get this! They have been spending every day in a club alone with each other for a few months now! Hikigaya-kun here is basically the next Yukinoshita, mhm, onee-san can see it!" She says merrily!
Requiem…
"Now is that so Hikigaya-kun?"
"Well… I mean, yeah but…" I mutter pathetically
"Then may I ask, what do you think of Yukino?"
'Requiem! Requiem!
Innocent flowers that have scattered on this night,
At least you could rest in peace at dawn.
And then one day if it could be granted,
We can break the fate that is twisting around us,
Then my friend let's see each other again in a dawn without walls.'
What do I think of the youngest Yukinoshita? That's a tough one
For starters, any conclusion I may land on is at risk of being completely wrong,again. True, we know of the existence of the other for some time now, but how can we define the dichotomy that we make up together? Our two stories. Our two lives. They don't seem intertwined, we may get an idea of what they are, but we don't really know them.
I remember the dog and cat conversation I had with her, I still want to scream my lungs out to my pillow when I remember it and how bad I miscalculated, the cringe of it is even more present now that I sometimes get dangerous thoughts again. I thought I had purged them and sent their carcasses to the paramo of my exiled memories. But it can't be helped, I spend the least shit part of my day with the Ice queen, most of the time it's enjoyable, and for my mother's sake, she's the most attractive girl I have seen. Despite that I resigned myself and embraced solitude for good long ago, the little idiot that I once was had to resurface given the conditions that we have, I didn't really expect anything, I learnt to not do so, but I still felt mild disappointment.
"But what do I think surface level? Based on our time in the service club, well. She's a handful and a ball ache sometimes, but she's also one incredible, beautiful, intelligent, cheeky and amazing girl."
…
I feel my face warm
Both of the Yukinoshita women present look shocked as all hell, their mouths slightly agape, retaining their 'ojou' appearance, but still showing incredulity. What is wrong? Did my eyes evolve from fish to tiktaalik? Why are you two looking at me like that- Oh don't tell me. DON'T YOU TELL ME I SAID THAT WITHOUT STOPPING TO FILTER IT.
I had time to look back across every single detail and enclose it within my mind, yet the embarrassing compromising intel I blabber it without a care in the world?! I'm definitely great at shooting myself in the foot ain't I? Say something women! Can't you see I'm becoming a doubting mess with each passing second?! And now with cheeks getting more and more flushed if it wasn't enough! Fucking Rom-com gods, fucking Hikigaya Nervous system! Fucking teeth, you should've bit the tongue mid-sentence!
"O-oh my" The most imponent of the two says. I have managed to make the Yukinoshita Lady stutter. Alright folks, we've gone too far, please unplug the simulation and delete the program from the memory banks.
"Y-yeah, I knew I was right mother, but I didn't aim this high. Would you look at that? You go looking for copper and you find gold."
"N-no, wait I.. I didn't mean to say that!"
"But we heard it loud and clear Hikigaya-kun" Yukinoshita-san says, that's right, now she's Yukinoshita-san.
"And that only means your consciousness betrayed you Hikigaya-kun, accident or not, you just revealed to us your undying love for my precious little Yukino-chan!" Haruno adds
You know what? At this point getting shitfaced and waking up in the middle of Norway would be preferable. Because I already did an ass of myself in front of the Yukinoshitas and I'm sober!
A while after that I was pretty much numb from all the sensations, from a tinge of that particular adrenaline I felt that one time in middle school, to gut wrenching embarrassment that made me want to sink into the Ocean and never be seen again. I noticed Haruno put on a coat above her dress to look more in place, of course her looks and her name still brought looks our way, but less attention was still very much appreciated.
At one point I excused myself to Yukinoshita-san and decided to head home, I didn't deem necessary to look for Hayama so I just cut my losses and headed to the exit, but Haruno intercepted me, once again.
"Hey Hikigaya-kun"
"Leave me alone, good night Haruno-san" I realized I was somewhat pissed, this whole mess was her doing, and my naivety to a lesser extent. Actually no, this was my fault that I didn't see it coming, despite this whole afternoon already reeking of trouble.
"Wait, I do have to ask you something serious,seriously." she says and lacks her now accustomed playful, teasing tone. I turn to her without saying anything, but signaling that I'll listen.
"I told my mother I was right about something, but being right with that one means being wrong to something I told Yukino-chan and mentioned to Hayato."
Um
"You understand what I imply with being 'drunk' right?"
"I think so." I shrug
"Are you currently sloshed or just tempted to drink?" She asks with an expression similar to pleading
What a dilemma, I don't think I'm remotely near to getting 'drunk', not at all. But I do acknowledge those concerning thoughts are there. I mean I basically pushed new limits to a night I thought couldn't surprise me anymore by saying one of them out loud.
But do I understand it? I give her a look of being in deep thought
"You know, I told Hayato that he was sloshed, and it was partly true, he is currently in the deep mist that liquor provides for this life, but he's also gripping hard to a lifeline, a regret. Something that's been eating him away and will most likely continue to do so until a conclusion arrives and the curtain closes in his teen romantic comedy, or tragedy, take it as you will.
He's similar to me in that regard. I've been living calm and collected for the entirety of my time in this train, stations come and go, and I'm still aboard this deception. So I ask if you're actually getting drunk. I'm gonna be honest, I don't think you can, but in the end it all comes down to you.
What will it be Hikigaya-kun? Are you like us?"
"I haven't had the chance to test out such an assumption"
I too have come to think something like that before, my past experiences, the floor I'm currently standing on, the messages between the lines, everything. As this world is ruled by logic and probabilities I try to rationalize every single step that I take, I shield myself behind walls and lines of defense because I've seen and tasted what has happened to me when I let my guard down. I make long excuses when I'm not strong enough to accept a truth, an oxymoronic behavior to the creed I live by, but intrinsic of a Monster of logic and reason. A beast not capable of feeling human emotions, Hayama doesn't think of himself as human, but are we any different in that regard? I tend to say I won't ever refuse being fed food I didn't pay for. But I don't think I've been hungry more than two times in my life.
Forget being drunk, am I hungry right now?
Cat Friskies
Again with the damn Cat analogy. I experienced a near death experience while trying to save a cat that didn't need my help. I reasoned the effects and parallels of that event with my relationship with Yukinoshita. I miscalculated and got bitter, but again, I thought I didn't expect anything, I shouldn't have expected anything. What am I bitter for? The possibility of being scratched and hurt is still very much there, in fact it's almost assured that it would happen should I attempt to get closer.
I was tasked with making her a little bit more Assertive without recurring to being aggressive, that was Sensei's request and by de facto her request to me. This was supposed to be a punishment, a punishment for my very existence. The consequence of being for the loner cynical devil that I am. I initially found it funny that this punishment, the service club turned into an oasis for me, my special place in which I was chilling for those two first requests I bullshited myself out of. But when the cat was thrown on my lap, when Yukinoshita arrived to my life, the Service Club only got more special for me.
As difficult as it may be to even think of making a leap of faith, I get a retarded sense of hope and happiness, a serotonin rush when I remember Yukinoshita making tea for the both of us, her adorable ribbons hanging in her gorgeous hair, her calming voice when singing old fashioned songs.
If I wasn't badly bruised and scarred, I would go to lengths of smiling from ear to ear just for the fact that I started a wonderful girl like her to MAX coffee, that we can share our musical tastes with each other and stay in a state of Nirvana two hours per day yet still engage in playful Agni Kai daily. I still haven't managed to get light novels to grow on her, but I very much enjoy that battle station of ours.
To put it shortly, I lied to Hayama some hours ago, I am screaming internally and every single indicator of danger such as the Hachi Sense is wailing that it's a dumb idea, this at the same time is acquired experience from past failures and unknown territory at the same time. This mess of feelings I get when thinking of Yukinoshita's existence and the time we share are not the same as the ones I felt with Orimoto, but this doesn't mean it's not naive to think the outcome will be any different, what's even one indicator that I won't risk it all and slip and fall again? Only to go back to the same damn road I come from, it always happens.
Haruno's hypothesis might actually be true, I can't get drunk. Logic is my katana and I will always overthink shit, it happens to the worst of us. In the camp I told those awful girls that 'the worst' of us is actually the majority, and according to westerners we all come from the same pair of dipshits that sought knowledge. I have lots of it, I am always conscious of my weaknesses. If one bite from a fruit doomed man I must have confused the fruit with a pear and munched on a lot of them, so I locked myself out of any heaven, any authentic and genuine bond might be forbidden for Hikigaya Hachiman, Komachi being the one thing that anchors me to care for this world.
But I see Yukinoshita Yukino talking about Pan-san and stop to think if there's one chance at redemption, one shot to down a whole bottle and let every care, every wound and every trauma fade for a little bit. A probability to turn my teen romantic comedy into an unexpected right.
"I see, I think I have my answer. See you later Hikigaya-kun" The attractive female with purple tips in her black hair says before turning away from me
I groan audibly "ughhhh, you Yukinoshita women are very troublesome, you know that?"
She turns back again, confused at where I'm going with this, and I start scratching the back of my head
"I-I think… I think I like your sister." her eyes widen, as expected of a fellow siscon, am I now the Hikibug? I used to be a Hikifrog, wait I'm not a siscon!
"Wait… you're serious?" She asks
"The monster of logic wishes with all its might that I wasn't."
"Interesting. Very Interesting Hikigaya Hachiman."
"Oi, but don't assume I'll propose to her and promise her all this and heaven too just because I landed on a logicless conclusion that makes me want to die."
"You know what would even be more interesting-" She reverts back to her teasing tone "Shizuka-chan's reaction when she hears about this."
"OH DON'T YOU DARE WOMAN!"
Yukino POV:
I grab the Tsutaya bag to retrieve the paperbacks I purchased earlier today, it seems I won't be having much time to read in the near future, given that today was the first committee meeting for the organization of the cultural festival.
Not only do I have to manage quite a lot of stuff for the making of my Class' Pachinko hall, I seem to have attracted the attention of the Student council president, she even offered me the position of head of the committee, but the immediate comparison between me an Nee-san made me turn it down in a whim, guess I really am resentful and a bit aggressive as Hiratsuka-sensei suggests. If nothing goes out of the ordinary I suppose handling technicalities and joining the Volunteer Management team would be enough to complete our tasks with satisfactory results.
Meanwhile, I grab the books I bought and sort them between the coffee table, room desk and school bag. Let's see, Lonely castle in the Mirror by Tsujimura Mizuki. Heh, even though this is a proper novel, from what I heard from the cashier it got a manga adaptation, meanings its borderline Hikigaya-kun territory, I can't allow him to see it in my hands or he'll have the time of his life teasing me about it. But I still think it'll be a very enticing and fulfilling read.
Speaking of that Rascal, I haven't forgotten about his secret affinity for the works of Murakami, whose titles I have collected and read almost the entire catalogue, but I was missing Hunt of the wild sheep, this one will go to the school bag.
Following my recent trend of indulging myself in the literature of faraway Mexico, I brought Say of the Jacarandas by Ruy Alberto, his titles seem almost unknown, but it has come to my attention by the title, that on the other side of the Pacific Ocean a similar phenomenon occurs at the end of every winter to the blossoming of the Sakura trees that fall behind the windows of the Service club, in the Mexican interior highlands the Jacaranda purple flowers bloom from the Jacaranda trees, adorning the cities of a foreign land.
Last but not least, I got recommended a book by a clerk in the bookstore. Before the coffee gets cold by Kawaguchi Toshikazu. If I'm not mistaken the clerk was called Rafan-san, but I don't quite remember, I don't accustom speaking much to strangers.
Carefully picking a chair and sail in a journey to not miss a once in a lifetime opportunity huh? That sounds familiar enough for some reason. How odd.
Tomorrow seems like it'll be tiresome and tedious, I should relax for a while before I head to sleep, but I feel like listening to some music as ambience and just…lie down on the couch whilst sipping some good tea, let's shuffle something.
Huh, recommendation from the Music streaming app: Fantasy-Useless Youth
I can't help but giggle, it seems like even my phone has caught the Hikigerms given now the algorithm has gotten used to Hikigaya-kun's thought process, I'll hit play.
Walking down the street I saw you crying
Alone
And I thought a million words to say to you
But I don't…
Day 2 of the Cultural Festival planning commitee.
The last class of the day ended for 2-J, whilst Liberal arts is the most entertaining class out of the 9 courses we second years take, it was still as monotonous as ever. Wednesdays 2-J's schedule awards the last two hours of the school hours to this subject, which is listed as 'Social sciences'. I am conflicted for I equally dislike and like the contents we just reviewed.
My prodigious memory and mental ability makes it easy to ace the economic and demographic lectures when tests come around, and I usually retain the information instead of the clichéd 'Memorize-Barf data upon paper-Forget' that most above average intelligent people complain about. Yet the thing that itches me about these classes is how…amateur they feel, and I'm not complaining about the academic requirement levels.
I feel that Sobu High School, and these classes in particular, are the antithesis of a meritocracy. Why do I say this? You can put your best comprehensive effort into actually understanding a topic, proceed to craft the presentation or paper of your life, and you'll get the exact same grade as someone who filled his or hers with the most generic ambiguous ramblings their limited intellect could provide.
It's the same for History and Japanese literature, and Human development mentioned earlier, and Community Entrepreneurial Development, which is just a fancier way of calling 'Business Management for kids'.
And I understand. voicing these thoughts would only make me look like even more of an arrogant brat who thinks she can take on the world, defending my position made me a member of the Service club actually.
But still, if you can get perfect scores on an assignment of the Japanese Ecomic Miracle containing 400 words of essentially saying 'it was a time of growth and prosperity' over and over, well, you can almost hear your own assignment gain sentience and say something in the lines of "Oh, okay then, I'll just go fuck myself in some plutonian corner."
I guess I do hold some arrogance, but this is what I meant when saying that being gifted with intelligence was not all rosy as one would think, being a 'genius' makes you pompous and see yourself as superior. Think about it, you find out about a topic, it's quite interesting and immersive. The teachers of a school that sells itself as the epitome of excellence in the prefecture goes all high and mighty about how important it is to know about it. But the time to discuss it comes and you only hear the most bland and halfwitted opinions by your peers, it would make anyone bitter.
My very lousy and dear clubmate knows about it, and much to my displeasure he usually calls me names like 'Yukipedia' or 'demon superwoman' but the great hypocrite is no different. He just hides his nonconformity by blabbering dozens of words in which he refers to the ignorant majority as normies and normalfags, although I would catalogue him in the original 'above average intelligent person' he's somehow better and worse. He can amaze with his vast knowledge of useless things like full detailed analysis of Chiba, its culture, its gastronomy and whatnot, but he can't find it in himself to even vomit formulas on a mathematics quiz.
So here I link the two causants of my moody state. I'm heading towards the conference room, curious about the president of the service club and how he will handle such troublesome duties for such slothful entity.
When I cross through the door I immediately look for a particular ahoge much more prominent than mine, and… there you are.
"Hello" I say and wait for him to reply. wait I did, since our president looks even deade-er than usual, with bags under his eyes, his fingers fusing with the keyboard and his hair even messier than yesterday, what an achievement.
His pupils move to the right to gaze upon me while his body does not move a centimeter. He blinks once. Twice. His eyes widen and he finally finds it in himself to greet me back.
"Oh. Yo."
"My goodness Hikigaya-kun, on my way here I entertained the idea of you breaking under normal working conditions based on your usual indolence, but I didn't expect to see you so defeated on day 2." I poke him to alleviate my own bad mood and he yawns to his hand, I surprisingly resist the urge to follow suit.
"Yeah, if you think I'm indolent you'd be surprised to see how incompetent my class can be when just 'brainstorming' a fucking play, what is it there to ponder about? You're just memorizing lines and cutting scene after scene due to our limited budget and time! And to make matters worse the head of the committee and fellow delegate to 2-F isn't even here, I'd like to see you sort that out without a wink of sleep." Wow. He really is pissed at the obligation of working.
"You didn't sleep last night?"
His typing stops in its tracks and he gasps almost inaudibly
"I, uhh I spent the night thinking about… stuff."
"I see, traumatic memories perhaps? I understand, with records like yours there must be some nights you wish it went down differently" I feel a little bit bad at taking cheap shots when I am not even angry at him, but I must say I missed our banter, just 3 days ago I was speaking to Tsurumi-san about my miscomunications with this boy that's supposedly tasked with 'fixing' my approach to life. So now that it seems like we're back to our usual back and forth that would seem cruel to an outsider, allow me to indulge myself in this sadistic pleasure called 'insulting Hikigaya-kun'
"Nah, nothing like that…"
He resumes his typing, albeit slower paced than before, then stopping again to gaze towards the window and then towards me.
Of course, him and I, we don't have any room for what-ifs, we acknowledge the existence of burdens and regrettable chapters on our stories, some nagging and some accepted, but I don't think we would get along so well if we stopped to mourn past cards we were dealt with. It is what it is basically.
But what do I know of this lecherous, despicable boy beside me? Unironically, he's the person I spend most time with, yet we're in every way except the official document that says we're clubmates, complete strangers.
Nee-san said something wild, about him trusting me and no one else. Even if this was possible it's not likely. Upon meeting me he immediately shot down the idea of us establishing friendship, and I didn't object to it. Now I still don't have any interest in pursuing a delusion of understanding when we couldn't be further from it.
In essence the Service club had been a pleasant yet stagnant fencing club for the both of us, some of the requests were solved by him, others by me. But in the camp last weekend I found a new side of Hikigaya-kun I hadn't thought of, or even imagined of its existence.
In order to make a bunch of cruel girls see their truths and force them to swallow the most bitter pill they have taken in their young lives, he had to think of a deceivement, but the costume was for practical purposes, he put himself in the line of fire.
What am I staring at when I look at you Hikigaya-kun? What are you thinking about?
Can I even ask something like that? Am I not basically being as annoying as every single simpleton that has reached their hand to me with no actual intentions of shaking it?
"Well, would you tell me about what kept such a sleepy person as yourself from sleeping if it wasn't a nightmare?"
He adopts a panicked expression and his cheeks get a little pink, basically confirming my doubts of a moment ago.
"H-huh?"
"Well, knowing you and the 'literature' you shamelessly consume while in my presence, I think it's safe to assume you were sailing the high seas of perversion in your mind." Did I just see a pained look flash in the eyes of fugu?
"Uhh, not quite… Do you remember when the company that makes Garigari-kun raised their prices for like 10 yen and they publicly apologized to the country? Well I was thinking that they most likely kept treating their slaves like slaves, and these faux shows of honour just make the lives of miserable middle aged salarymen more miserable. Yet we all praise such a show of humility, when it's all PR to appeal to Old people and foreigners. And there won't be any difference to how they treat me in this committee, while the hordes of normies enjoy themselves this parade of stupidity adorned with colorfully adorned banners that flow from roof of the buildings to the floor."
… sigh
"Well, I would comment something on your ramblings and pathetic mumbling, but I have nothing that you haven't already heard" I am aware that this might as well be conceding defeat for this round, nothing to be happy mind you.
I sit up and grab my bag to head to the sit I was in yesterday to deal with the first estimates on volunteering when he stops me
"Ah! Please wait!"
I frown at him making him flinch, but don't say anything, urging him to continue whatever made him retain me in his vicinity
"Umm.. could you, er stay here with me for today's meeting?"
Now I raise my brow at this "Where are you coming from? What for?"
"I-I uhh… I need to stay awake and on track for this document to get finished." He says without meeting my glare
"Hai?"
…
I get the urge to massage my right temple "Why do I think that what you just muttered was extremely out of the ordinary for you? Are you perhaps a masochist with strange fetishes or did you just instantly become an upstanding member of society? No. it has to be the former, the latter is way too far fetched."
"Oh come on Yukinoshita, I just need you by my side for today to confirm this theory I have. embarrassed grunt I'm convinced that with your icy aura I won't get too distracted, but I need to test it out."
"Well alright, I'll keep you company, but don't enjoy this too much."
His lips turn upwards into a creepy smile
"Roger that"
After a good while of the both of us checking documents of cost estimates, the clubs that are willing to do what and how, him revising a piece of paper with data brought to him by Kawasaki-san.
He closes his assigned laptop with joy and closes his eyes after supporting his head with his elbow.
"I take it you're done? If so then I'll leave, your closeness is most aggravating."
"Heh, as you wish, I have my answer, and another hypothesis, but that was more of an established fact way before." He replies solemnly without opening his eyes.
And there's the Hikigaya-kun that I know, whatever this brief respite of warmth he showed in order to observe the results of his stupid hypothesis is gone, and gone are any efforts to keep anyone close. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a tad uncomfortable with this sudden chummy hour spent, but it's also an occurrence so rare, I almost don't want to actually leave. The same effect of a 'limited time' item in Destinyland's gift shop is achieved, you know you are being baited with a cheap sense of urgency, but you give in anyways. How perfidious.
"Hey"
"Hmm?" still without opening his eyes
"Did Nee-san actually do something to you yesterday? You know, with that ominous warning she gave you on Monday."
He opens them
"I met your mother again yesterday."
"Is that so? At what speed?" I silently giggle
"Har har" He shakes his head like if dissipating a silly thought "I am actually surprised she doesn't have a theme song composed by Sawano to play every time she shows up."
"So? After such a heartwarming reunion what are your thoughts? I know someone cowardly and rotten as yourself bent against a force of nature like mother."
"On the contrary, Yuki-assuming-san-'' He distorts my trademark technique of insulting to fit me "I am one tough cookie, I successfully avoided pissing my pants, again, I'm Invictus Hachiman." He says proudly
"You're disgusting"
"Eh, only slightly." He grins
"Hey.."
"What is it?"
"Can I say something without you calling me a pervert who'll forcefully take your chastity?"
"I suppose so? But knowing your antics I can't vow to not do so."
"Hmm, I was going to say that with how scary the women in your family are, you're far the cutest Yukinoshita, but I take it back." He spits without noticing my confused turning poker face.
And upon noticing it he immediately understands how his words can be misinterpreted and he goes beet red and stuttering, a deja vu of the last night of the camp. I have to cover my mouth with my hand to muffle my laughter to the troubled look of a panicked Hikigaya-kun who just realized he accidentally flirted with me.
"Oi, Service club!" a mature feminine voice interrupts us
"Huh, what a sight. Yukinoshita, Sobu's reclusive beauty, laughing freely in public. and Hikigaya, our cynical toad enjoying himself when doing work? Who are you two and what have you done to my students?" Hiratsuka-sensei asks
"U-uh, Sensei, where is the head? We're breaking our backs here by carrying the whole thing, I feel like no one else is helping at records and miscellaneous." He says after coughing to cover his embarrassment
"You'd think Hikigaya-kun is just looking for an excuse to slack off, but he's right, the work of volunteer management has all stacked on me." I add
"Glad you ask kiddos, she's here" She points behind her, revealing a trio of girls with Sagami-san at the center
"Uh, Hi. Yukinoshita-san. Hikikaeru-kun." She bows curtly with her friends giggling behind her, and I hear my clubmate scoff behind me. As forgettable as Hikigaya-kun is, even that was mean, but they just heard Hiratsuka-Sensei call him a frog in front of everybody, I suppose that's a freebie in which they can excuse themselves in thinking he's actually named that. It being a common insult to him by his peers helps their case.
"What can we do for you Sagami-san?"
"Well you see, I ended up being head of the committee board, and I was thinking I might need some help. And after seeing how competent you are, I thought I'd ask you to support me."
"But I'm already picking up the work you left in my hands for 2-F's registries and paperwork, what else can we do for you?" Hikigaya-kun asks, with clear irritation leaking from his voice
"Well, I think being head is a great opportunity for growth and experience! I think I just need a little push to make it all come along! Please help me Yukinoshita-san!" She bows again, and I can hear Hikigaya-kun's grumbling
So, she wants us to take more work even though this is what we were complaining about and 'push' her to lead and coordinate the presidium, in what would render her the Service Club's puppet. As uncharacteristically as it may be for me, I want to refuse this request.
"Hmmm, pardon me for doubting you Sagami-san, but what does a 'little push' consist of?"
"Umm, I think I just need to be guided the right way."
"Then why not go to Shiromeguri-senpai? She knows her way around administrative business better than us. Honestly Sagami, I don't think we'll acc-"
"Wait Hikigaya, Club Advisor Veto time, you'll take it." Hiratsuka-sensei cuts him off
"May I ask why?"
"Observation purposes, Hikigaya knows better."
"Oh you can't be serious." the mentioned Hikigaya answers
"I am, suck it kid." she grins gazing at us from above in the honeys of power and victory.
After they leave I ask Hikigaya-kun what they meant.
"She thinks we can be good leaders and we can carry the whole thing basically. Honestly, ignoring an entire career of work evasion and procrastination is just delusional."
I would berate him for pulling his usual nonsense cynicism, but today's loss is mine. I started to express that we shouldn't take this request, but we got shoved. And even if it was a veto situation, this happens often.
Assertiveness
I didn't even draw up my so-called 'haughty' responses, it is only the second day of committee activities and I can already see who's leeching off who. Yet I offered meek resistance, I was an accomplice of this fraud and now we find ourselves stuck as the actual head of the committee.
Why? If I were to guess, I would say it's pathological. Some admire and some scoff at my apparently obsessive competitiveness, but the fact is that I took offense at being used as a symbolic replacement or second coming of Nee-san, but I still permitted us to fill in as her actual second coming.
Is it that I can't for the life of me allow myself to be worse? Did I just simply reconsider the merits and losses? Do I want to put my ability to manage technical affairs to the test? It's confusing and distquietful but here we are.
"Ugh. Well seems another of my assumptions were correct, we're gonna get slaved so goddamn hard. I just can't miss huh? Yep, it's a gift and a curse." I hear Hikigaya-kun thinking out loud
"Seems that way. Anyhow, I'll take my leave after picking up some cost papers from my class."
"Right, see ya."
"Bye."
Day 4 of the Cultural Festival planning commitee.
"Yuigahama, what the hell is this?"
"Well, I wanted it to say 'Hikki' but I couldn't speak that out loud." A flustered Yuigahama-san apologizes
"Well I guess this thing is better than a cutesy abbreviation to an insult, but not even Totsuka or Kawasomething remembered my name? Cruel."
Hikigaya-kun details his frustration as he inspects the orange T-shirt Yuigahama just gave him, it appears his was the only unit from 2-F's batch which didn't include a given name and was replaced by the 'kun' suffix. On top of that it doesn't even say 'Hikigaya' but the most common nickname he receives instead, reading 'Hikitani-kun'.
"Well, if it's any better, Hayato actually pointed out you weren't named like that and asked if we could return it."
"Well ain't that funny?" He replies sarcastically
"But the class rep said he didn't want to trouble you more than you already were with all the stuff you're already handling and stuff"
"Wow, what a guy."
"And of course, Hina almost passed out the moment she saw Hayato pointing out something about you" Yuigahama-san frowns in exasperation.
"Quite the character you are among your peers. Out of like 30 people you were the one who was forgotten, and given a mysterious name nobody is certain of. Only you Hikigaya-kun, it's almost as if you were a folktale beast that lives secluded in the mountains."
"Heh, bet you won't forget me anytime soon though" He smirks
"Unfortunately so, your whole existence suffices to terrorize generations to come with the stories they'll tell about you, they'll surely induce nightmares."
He grumbles "It's for the best, territorial creatures are superior. Popular stories and folklore also makes people scared to approach the rumored area in which a monster lives, so I'll be left alone. In fact, that was the case of the Service Club before you barged in to tailor me a daily insult routine."
Yuigahama-san and I deadpan at such atrocious anti-social declaration, if he didn't say something a cat would say if it could speak I would already be berating him to oblivion.
I sigh "Hikigaya moment"
He opens his eyes and snorts before looking at me "wha- Did you just use modern youth's lingo?" He asks before poorly concealing a mild laughter "I suspect you heard that somewhere and thought it would be a fine addition to your repertoire of phrases 'kids these days would say' hehehe. Hiratsuka moment."
Unfortunately for him, Hikigaya-kun has little time to enjoy his snarky comment, for the target of his joke came from behind him, like summoned in an esoteric ritual. With little time to react, Hikigaya-kun seems to notice something and his expression turns to terror, as if he could detect her presence on instinct alone.
But before I can confirm if his ahoge works as a giant whisker to sense predators and their movements a feminine yet large arm slithers its way around Hikigaya-kun's neck, if the stench of nearby death wasn't present, I'd even say it's a somewhat romantic movement to hug someone affectionately from behind, but instead of a peck on his cheek, Hikigaya-kun found himself on a head lock enforced by Hiratsuka-sensei
"You just know how much I love your jokes Hikigaya, I love them!" She says while tugging his ahoge with the hand that was supposed to keep behind his head, if Hiki-feline-kun was actually a cat, and my ahoge/whisker theory was correct, then he's wailing in pain right no-
"Ow ow OW OW! Damn it woman let go!"
"Hmph! I'll need you to atone for your sins for that one"
"Ramen tonight?"
"Yeah but new place, I recently discovered a Ramen and Curry bar, that'd might caught your interest. Of course your atonement will come in the form of you paying."
"Alright" He responds while rubbing his head
"Huh? what are you brats up to?"
"Oh thanks for asking. We're graciously and humbly doing someone else's job. Of course, we definitely want to do this, it's not like this was draconianly pushed onto u-" Hiratsuka-sensei, too tired to deal with Hikigaya-kun's sarcasm just puts her hand over his ranting mouth and head to us
"You two, what's going on?"
I sigh again "I keep getting dissapointed with the fact that I have to agree with this part time napping cat over here, but correct. We're pretty much handling everything, if I didn't have a part time punching bag with me I would be worn down by this point, it's been four days of us doing pretty much non-stop work."
"Wait, I'm the cat here?"
"Huh, so you got enlightened in the joy of abusing Hikigaya, you're cultured Yukinoshita."
"You admit it?!"
While those two go back into their bickering I remember Yuigahama-san has been here the whole time, and I turn to her
"Yuigahama-san, whilst I don't hate your company, you can see we're all a tad too irritated around this presidium. Can I ask what other business we must attend with you here?"
"That's ultra backhanded Yukinese for 'We're busy. Scram' you know"
I glare at the speaker of that last comment who is currently occupied fending off attacks from our advisor, so he affords to be despicable even when faced with such a threat. Honestly, that's impressive.
"W-well, I was going to leave when Hiratsuka-sensei arrived, but there's someone at the door who told me to get your attention… however long that took" She says dejectedly and we look at the conference room framework.
This just keeps getting worse, as if the headache wasn't bad in itself
"Bravo Shizuka-chan! These two basically act a romance comedic drama in real time, with witty dialogues and all. Not even I am that good of a match-maker, that's masterclass scouting y'know!"
"Nee-san.."
At one point Yuigahama-san excuses herself and Hikigaya-kun looks very uncomfortable, again making me think of how he can see through Nee-san.
"Oya Hikigaya-kuuun!" She clearly noticed his stiffness and attacked, like a shark smelling blood.
"H-haruno-san" Huh? I understand he confusion of adressing us both by family name, but he reluctlantly called her 'Yukinoshita-san' whiled he never showed that artifical respect to me, did one meeting made them so close?
"Do you have an answer for such an enigma already?"
"Listen up. The answer is yes, my concerning thoughts were right, but it seems impossible that they'll give me what I want."
"Hoh? So it's not only a thought, it's already a desire, that's more than interesting." Nee-san grins
"Well, I can't be in denial if the iceberg is going to hit my ship eventually, I-"
"Oi, Forgers! We may not be Alan Turing but your operation Strix here looks more like Chuunibyou spy play." Hiratsuka-sensei cuts them off
"Nee-san, stop larping with Hikigaya-kun and tell me what you came for already" I massage my temples in frustration. What the hell did I just witness, they had seen each other twice. In both occasions Hikigaya-kun looked as if under the same effect he caused the girls in the camp. Did Hikigaya-kun got himself involved in some shady ordeal with Nee-san? He did say he didn't get as scared when meeting my mother.
"I came to help!"
"Help with what?"
"With the festival silly! I organized it when I was here!"
"Who asked you to come?" I feel the anger coming
"Well for starters Meguri-chan did mention you turned down the chair person, but now I see you and Hikigaya-kun here installed your own shared regime, I see, I see." she bops her head
"But also, the actual chair said I could help!"
"That bitch" Hikigaya-kun says
"Oh quit being a tsun-tsun Hikigaya-kun! I'll even help you out! And I actually mean with the festival, your class is doing LesMis right? How about I take care of the pit orchestra?"
"I reckon Hayama told you? I'm not even surprised. Fine, you do that if it'll get you away from my face."
"Hikigaya-kun that's meeeaan!" My typhoon of an elder sister whines
Haruno nee-san, Hikigaya-kun, Hayama-kun. How strange, the holy trinity of headache inducing individuals in my life all start with H, at the mention of the last one and having to sit through the first two arguing I came to realize it. Yuigahama-san comes in close as an honorable mention. She probably makes it to Hikigaya-kun's top 3… hang on, do I make it there? Both Yuigahama-san and I start with Y in the romanized alphabet. And I'm not sure if Zaitsu-kun tops Hiratsuka-sensei but I am almost certain his given name starts with Y.
What nonsense
Day 6 of the Cultural Festival Planning commitee
It's now the second week of our duties in the committee, and although we have progressed steadfast, problems just keep coming up with no Sagami-san and friends to be seen anywhere when needed. Naturally this forces Hikigaya-kun and I to work on damage control, and unexpectedly we have made quite a decent team until now. Since Wednesday he has taken half the load off my back, with an immense amount of complaining and grumbling, mind him. And when I have to leave the conference room to check and assess on my class' progress and troubles I leave him completely in charge, you'd think Hikigaya-kun filling in as chairman would make the whole thing crashing down immediately, but surprisingly so, it's the contrary.
Each time one of us leaves the other temporarily in responsibility the whole committee receives a slight boost in progress. Not for rising in morale or enthusiasm or passion for work, not at all. Apparently our dynamic has made people think that we cancel each other out when in work mode, concentrating our least appealing sides on the other, as the entire board has seen us arguing more or less non-stop the whole time, so when I leave, people think Hikigaya-kun's rotten eyes look extra creepy when directed at them, and of course I never have any problems in scolding delegates that I catch slacking off or working mediocrely.
However, I find myself overwhelmed today, and he left to inspect with Kawasaki-san and Nee-san the indumentary for 2-F's interpretation, and the pit orchestra. He mentioned after that they'll check how it's looking in a rehearsal for some of the songs, meaning I am on my own to sort everything out.
"Yukinoshita-san, the provider for the balloons said he needs an endorsement document."
"Yukinoshita-senpai, some members of the Parents bureau are complaining about us not having another nurse, what do we tell them?"
"Yukinoshita-san, here's 3-B's argument on homemade roller coaster safety and why it's perfectly in line to regulations."
I feel my head is about to explode.
I was thinking of how dependent this whole group of delegates has become on trusting Hikigaya-kun and I to take care of everything, and while I too at first, felt down for the abscence of the fish-eyed boy to back me up, I remember who we were supposed to teach to fish and why we were on this predicament in the first place.
"Alright, enough." I say with irritation in my voice
"Yukinoshita-san?"
"Yukinoshita-senpai?"
"Wait here, I will fetch the chair to help us"
I walk through the hallways heading to 2-F when I get stopped halfway by a less than desirable thing to deal with at this exact moment.
"Yukino!"
Sigh "What is it Hayama-kun?"
"You look a little tired, are you okay?"
"I am fine, thank you for your concern."
"Can I help you with something? You know I'm here for you Yukino-" He looks down to the floor with a troubled expression "-please believe me, I don't say that for the sake of being nice or putting up an image." He adds in a quieter tone
"Duly noted, but I-" Wait "Actually Hayama-kun there is something I need to ask of you"
"Yeah?"
"Do you know the precise or general location of Sagami-san?"
"Minami? she was with Yukko and Haruka a little while ago, I saw them walking to the conference room sorry, other than that Minami was talking with Yui back in the classroom. She wasn't in the committee?" He says while in reminiscence
"No, she was not. At that, same question but for Hikigaya-kun."
"Hikigaya is with Haruno right now, the band was warming up in the stage of the gym"
"I see, thank you Hayama-kun."
"Do you want me to help you get them?"
"Not Hikigaya-kun, he did inform me he had a long checklist of things to do, he's busy." I'll fix this myself, he's troubled enough as is, and I'm not a damsel in distress to call for him at the first sign of an actual challenge.
"Then I will come with you to find Minami." He smiles
"Do what you wish"
On our way back to the conference room we walk past it to see if Sagami-san's group went further to hang out near the commitee, but not actually enter it. And it didn't miss, we find Sagami and company leaning on an indoor bench next to a window, not far from the conference room, meaning we were being overworked not a 5 minute walk away from these girls, unforgivable.
"Sagami-san"
"Y-yeah? What is it Yukinoshita-san?"
"May I ask, why aren't you in the conference room? We have stacks of pending work to do, a lot of it needs your seal of approval, we have been taking care of that part for now, but we can't help 'guide you the right way' if you aren't even capable of presenting yourself at the presidium."
"W-who does she think she is?" Says one of her friends, visibly stunned
"Who I am is irrelevant, however Sagami-san willingly volunteered for this position and got me and my clubmate involved in assisting her, the question should actually be. Who do you think you are Sagami-san? The chair of the commitee position is no joke to toss around."
"Listen gir-" The other friend starts to yell at me but Hayama-kun interrupts her
"Minami! Haruka and Yukko! Please, we just need you to show up.." He addresses them with a solemn look
"Hayato…"
"Please Minami, everyone is waiting for you, please just come with us and forgive Yukino, she was just a little bit annoyed by everything you guys have to deal with."
"Okay.."
How. Revolting.
These girls were about to get into a catfight with me, defending whatever they prided themselves in, being incompetent apparently. Yet one look from the Prince of Sobu and a laughably false plead is all it took for them to diffuse and turn into meek, obedient and dull girls.
Hikigaya-kun will be overjoyed to see even I get fed up with these things, I concede, I will immediately suggest we stop taking every request we get, and of course, we will have to resist Hiratsuka-sensei's caprices.
For once, Hayama-kun's superficiality actually helped, but why? He's the other piece in the migraine inducing puzzle Nee-san built for me, what is he doing here and so adamant on helping me now? If not even Yuigahama-san is here goofing around it means they're busy in 2-F
"Hayama-kun, what are you actually doing here?" I whisper and eye him in my peripheral vision
His lips curled upwards "I told you in Hanazakicho didn't I? I'll make it up to you"
"If that is so, then why aren't you helping me by making sure your class project doesn't fail. If Hikigaya-kun, Nee-san and Kawasaki-san are already testing costumes and rehearsing music that means you should be practicing no?"
"I'll take care of that Yukino, I promise, but for now let me assist you here, you're clearly surpassed."
"Fine, go look for Health and Sanitation team, I more or less gave them instructions on what to do regarding the missing nurse, but we still need an appropriate, diplomatic and respectful response to the concerned parents. I reckon you can do that."
He shows me a pained look, seemingly catching up to my subtle pettyness
You reap what you sow Hayato. You reap what you sow.
"Hayama" a deep and tired voice calls him
"Hey Hikigaya" Hayama-kun replies
"What are you doing here?"
"Exactly what you told me to, figuring out my stuff." Hikigaya-kun raises his brow
"Right, you think you can memorize 'Red and black ' 'One more day' and 'A heart full of Love' in time? It's official, we're cutting 'chairs and empty tables' so you get more focused on the ones that will woo the normi-, I mean the audience."
"I can manage, what other scenes are we cutting?"
"Valjean and Javert face off will be replaced by a Jojo reference to make it more japanese, so no song. Miura is still on my ass pressing me to make her Eponine, she wanted to be Cosette, you imagine why, but Ebina put her foot down there, so now she's insisting on reversing roles with Yuigahama taking Fantine, while Miura dies in you arms in that rain scene, which we will probably also cut, so she'll get dissapointed."
"I see, it can't be helped then"
"And of course, 'Do you hear the people sing' is fucking indispensable, but you'll have support from like 10 guys singing for that one, in the ones I mentioned earlier you'll play a bigger role, so don't get sick."
There's something rather… uncanny of observing those two engage in conversation. It's like if they both understood something I'm ignorant of, yet at the same time looking at them is like reading about two characters who expect the other to betray them.
But at the same time I have something on my mind I'm almost certain they would have a heart attack should they learn I suspect, well I suspect and doubt about Hayama-kun and the real meaning of it. Hikigaya-kun's case in the other hand is far too ambiguous to even suppose such a thing, of course it would seem that way from an outsider's perspective, but this is no romantic comedy. Hikigaya-kun seemed especially horrified at the realization of offering headpats and calling me cute.
Oh well. I don't suppose I will get a clear answer right now. The whole point of this train of thought was how weird it was to witness Hikigaya-kun interacting with Hayama-kun, how did I even end up there?
"Yukino"
"Hey Yukinon, Yahallo!"
"Hayama-kun, Yuigahama-san." I acknowledge the pair waving at me
"Ne, ne Yukinon, I was talking with Hayato, he told me about how much effort you put in the committee today! You're amazing"
"Well, thank you for the compliment, but having to put effort in order to fix the mistakes caused by other's apathy or incompetence is barely worth being proud of."
In fact, I feel like trash, I just want to sleep for now
"Now now, you worked hard Yukino, we're proud of you" Hayama-kun says
"Oh, I-I see"
"Hey Yukinon, do you want to hang out with us for the evening? We can help you relieve all that stress and bad vibes y'know!"
"I thank the invititation Yuigahama-san, but right now I wish for nothing but a good sleep to replenish energy."
"Are you that tired? Do you want us to accompany you to take care of you? We can even cook you something warm for when you wake up if you like" Hayama-kun suggests in a calm tone
When did you get so bold? I'm surprised you can even say something like that in front of Yuigahama-san, while the thought is nice, I can't believe you Hayama-kun. You're history doesn't help you, and I'm sure you wouldn't suggest the same thing if the rest of your clique was here
"Again, I tahnk you both for your concerns, but that won't be necessary. Furthermore, I don't think Yuigahama-san's cooking would do me any good." I tease her
"Yukinon! That was so mean!"
Day 7 of the Cultural Festival Planning commitee
"You look like shit"
I immediately frown at this tasteless, rude and uncalled for comment
"Excuse me?"
"Oh don't give me that, I called you cute last time and you didn't even flinch, in fact I was the one who suffered, you know I don't mean it as in 'you're ugly', you just look a little bit like shit."
"Well why don't you elaborate on such tactful kind words Hikigaya-kun?" I say sardonically, not in the mood for insults
"Well, despite our usual banter you usually tend to keep this 'ojou' demeanor in front of other people, now you just look like you think existence is a drag. Not that I'd blame you."
"I see, I think I know the reason."
He turns his head in my direction, prompting me to elaborate with a,concerned look? How odd Hiki-tsundere-kun, nice find Nee-san.
"I recall the existence of a dangerous pathogen colloquially known as the Hikigerms. I have spent too much time in your immediate vicinity in the recent times."
"I see. Excuse me for a moment"
He gets up without continuing our bout any further and leaves the conference room. Strange? What just happened? Did I step on a landmine? I thought he wasn't that upset by the Hikigerms joke, it's not the first time that I use it.
After about 10 minutes from his departure he returns. I was working in a spreadsheet when I see him hands full, carrying my mug I use in the clubroom, a black canned coffee and a MAX coffee
"You look as dead as I looked exactly a week ago, choose one of these. Two if you need them, although I plead to you not to choose the MAX" He deadpans
"How considerate, I'll take the tea and the black coffee, you can't handle that last one either way"
"Be my guest" He turns to his yellow can and looks at it with longing written in his face.
This boy will find himself diabetic in 10 years
Although the tea and the coffee did help in a way of getting my state of mind to a more relaxed place, the meeting went as excruciatingly monotonous and tiring as it had been for the whole week.
Signature and seal here and there, emails to providers, resolving issues some delegates are having trouble with, glancing at my clubmate to see him suffering while doing the same thing, but suddenly Sagami-san and Shiromeguri-senpai barge inside excitedly.
"Min'na! Can I have you attention please?" The bubbly president calls
"What is it Shiromeguri-senpai?"
"Oh, Yukinoshita-san, we're deciding the slogan for the festival now, yep yep!"
"So the chair finally decides to show herself, why am I not surprised it's not to help with actual documents and paperwork'" Hikigaya-kun whispers but some heard him, some avert their gaze in guilty demeanor, most likely agreeing with him, others shoot him a glare.
"Oh come on Hikigaya-kun, don't be all grumpy and give me an idea!" Shiromeguri-senpai cuts the awkwardness
"Don't look at me senpai, I'm actually busy, gather some ideas from over there."
And so, the ideas started rolling in from all over the committee
'Jump and fun. Sobu and fun.'
'Welcome, Checkpoint and Farewell: Sobu's festival for the students, by the students'
Some were terrible, some were decent, but we couldn't arrive at a consensus, and people were getting frustrated
"Perhaps the chair might want to suggest something?" I eye Sagami-san and her lackeys who arrived at some point
"I'm glad you ask Yukinoshita-san, we do have one." She gifts me a smug look of spite and her friends giggle behind her
'Change da world, Our best message, Welcome.'
…
I am at a loss for words, I don't think I can keep my tongue from-
"Ano, Sagami" Hikigaya-kun cuts me off before I can start ranting
"What is it Hiki…gaya?"
"Right. I see your contribution, and I kinda wonder if you don't prefer to outright insult Yukinoshita and me. You know she usually calls me a cynic, but I am truly outclassed here."
"Hah?"
"What are you even talking about?"
"What's with this guy. Gross."
They successively respond
"Oh yeah, it's not cynicism. It's a lack of self awareness.
Uh, how do I put it? Hmm, well to be blunt and brief, this slogan is so damn hypocritical it's kinda cringe"
"Hah?! Who do you think y-"
"I think I'm someone who has been worked to the bone doing both of your jobs you haven't contributed to at all. 'Change da world'? In what way? You didn't show one bit of change for the planning committee. You did nothing, you remained stagnant and useless, the opposite of Changing the world."
Silence. The room is stunned.
" 'Our best message' huh? Well, what's the message? What are you trying to convey? That you're so cool and responsible? If I can guess you only became chair because it would give you status and make you look hardworking and cool. What a pathetic message." Hikigaya-kun keeps pressing the attack
"S-Shut up! You don't know what you're talking about!"
"I'm afraid I do. You see, I've heard you brag and complain about us in class, you tend to be so loud even I can hear your delusions, but I think that's intentional from the attention-craving folk like you.
You sell yourself as someone praiseworthy for your supposedly hard work, but you talk trash about Yukinoshita behind her back for calling you out. A beautiful message I see."
"And finally, 'welcome'? You were never here, you don't know what you're welcoming people to. You're not familiar with the place you're inviting to. To top it all off this is just a rephrasing of a foreign meme."
"W-Well why don't you write something you smartass prick?!" Sagami-san yells in anger of being humiliated in front of all the board
"That's not my job. Or what? Are you pushing a third workload onto me?" He replies with smug sarcasm
"No no, go on Hikigaya. Back up what you said you twat!" One of the lackeys from behind regains consciousness
"Haruka!" Someone calls her out to diffuse the tension
"Well, if you insist." Hikigaya-kun stands up and grabs a marker to write in the whiteboard
Oh gods, this can only end well.
After Hikigaya scribbles with visibly fake joy he sarcastically bows and presents his idea
'憎 (Hate): Who's young and bold enough to withstand the weight of what's to come?'
"Hikigaya-kun? What do you mean?" Shiromeguri-senpai asks timidly and dejectedly, visibly hurt to what her expected committee turned into
"Well, the reasoning behind '憎' is that it's pure hatred in our case. You get hated on, you hate being here, you hate who put you in charge of everything. So much so it resembles what's in store for us later on, So I ask who is naive and stubborn enough to endure it."
Again, complete, awkward silence engulfs the room. You can basically hear the seething curses that are currently being mentally thrown towards Hikigaya-kun, which I now noticed I have left to his own devices.
"I'm sorry senpai, but taking the role of secretary is bad enough, we can't quite juggle being yesmen at the same time. It's not your fault… it's hers" I point at Sagami-san and her two friends
"Dude, what a fucking asshole, who does he thinks he is?"
"Wow, Hikigaya-senpai is even creepier when angry. Kimoi"
"They're right, that useless bitch never showed up and they took care of everything."
"His slogan sucks ass, but I can see where they're coming from, yeah"
Divided opinions, should we seize this chance? There's still ground to cover and we have no time or energy to spend in power struggles driven by popularity and perception. Hikigaya-kun's despicableness can work as a spearhead or battering ram to a dynamic change. We could use actual leadership instead of vague nothings.
I raise my hand "Hikigaya-kun's suggestion is woeful and deplorable, yes. But I believe he says the truth, up to this point we haven't seen responsible and competent behavior from Sagami-san."
"You fucking bitch. You talk as if you didn't comply, all the time you stood there with your bitchy smug attitude and now you decide to backstab us? No wonder absolutely no one can stand you" Sagami-san says with bloodshot eyes
A provocation
It's been a few days since I've verbally deposed someone other than Hikigaya-kun, the main reason for this is the sheer amount of time and space of mind the festival has taken from me. And even though I have not hesitated to scold and correct delegates who leave room for improvement, it's the presence of my clubmate that has held my tongue chained, for he constantly makes lighthearted fun of me and my short temperament, with the argument of him having it difficult at making me an approachable person, referencing my 'request'.
I'm sorry Hikigaya-kun, Hiratsuka-sensei. I am no pacifist monk.
"OI! YOU SH-" Hikigaya-kun starts angrily but I cut him off. Not this time Hikigaya-kun. Here we have an opportunity to enhance progress and efficacy in the committee, while I appreciate the protective instinct kicking in (most likely stemming from your sister complex) we have to maintain the support we have, and I will fight my own battles, thank you very much.
I put an extended hand in front of him signalling to back off and eye him a neutral stare, making him raise a brow but comply, and I turn my gaze towards the trio we're 'betraying' as of now, or better said, rescinding their leader's request
"That's one peculiar way of looking back at my actions, which I admit are regrettable." She smiles
"But not because you are right, but because I have been way too tolerant and permissive with your blatant uselessness. It's surreal how bad you have taken your part of the request. I think Hikigaya-kun summarized your motivations quite good with that insulting slogan of yours, but he didn't mention your past actions.
I repeat myself by saying something I had already told you. We cannot 'guide you in the right way' if you just show up for the picture and didn't even start the stroll.
Right here and right now. I'm taking the liberty of cancelling your request, The Service Club cannot help someone who doesn't want the help, I am sure the president will back my decision and our advisor will understand."
All the colors have faded from Sagami-san's face and her friends are nowhere to be seen, it seems like they abandoned ship when I started firing batteries at it.
"Subsequently, I ask for you to resign from the the position of Chair of the Cultural Festival planning committee, of course it will be Hikigaya-kun and I who will replace you, but virtually nothing will actually change, other than documents will be stamped at a faster rate if anything."
She throws the seal at me in fury and turns to the door in a dash, leaving the conference room and its occupants stunned. I resist the urge to clench my fist in an apotheosic way, for this makeshift coup has been successful, the scarier part of my Yukinoshita heritage is showing itself.
"Well, we're now completely in charge, that got it done." Hikigaya-kun says with a shrug
" can now erase this and go back to gathering ideas for an actual slogan and not your cynical coping Hikigaya-kun" I say, much more relaxed after wiping his awful suggestion from the whiteboard
"O-okay. everybody! Keep 'em coming!" Shiromeguri-senpai accepts the change of regime immediately, that's a fine politician right there.
'Blow of memories: Laughter is felt Windward in Chiba!"
This was the selected slogan. While somewhat corny, the board agreed this one would do. The hardest part of it was convincing the otaku pessimist of something without him turning every single suggestion down, in the end he capitulated.
The rest of the meeting went as usual, but when it ended we weren't granted freedom, since Hiratsuka-sensei was informed of our almost theatrical performance and prohibited us from leaving until another hour's worth of work was done in compensation for overturning her veto without her consultation.
"Urghh, that's finished."
"I just sent the last email 7 minutes ago, we're done." I reply looking up from my paperback
"Huh? Then why did you stay 7 minutes?"
"Don't get excited Hiki-hopeful-kun, your presence is still revolting and I would back away to safety as soon as possible. We have to wait for Hiratsuka-sensei to come back and grant us permission to leave. weren't you listening when she was chewing us out?"
"Right, I spaced out a little bit when she started yelling at us, must've been an overdrive of being near two unbearable sadistic women" He smirks
"Hmph"
He stretches his arms upwards and lets out a silent yet noticeable yawn
"Well, while we wait for Miss Christmas cake I'll snooze away. I know you probably would want to kill me yourself, but please find it in your heart to wake me up before I get head trauma by a stealth attack."
"I don't usually ignore mental notes, but I'll make an effort to forget this one. Slumber away."
He shrugs tiredly and makes a pillow with his crossed arms in the administrative long table of the conference room, leans in them facing sideways to the right and closes his eyes.
After two minutes or so I took notice of how easily Hikigaya-kun falls asleep in any flat surface his face can be supported with, and how calmly he sleeps, almost entirely silently, and my curiosity for an earlier interrogative resurfaces.
Can Hikigaya-kun purr or not?
This is probably the strangest and most disturbing question I have ever asked myself, but it was in these days I started to notice how some of Hikigaya-kun's behaviors and quirks resemble that of a cat.
He's territorial and reclusive, he does not trust strangers, he's quite somnolent after whenever he's required to put in some effort. I have thought before of my theory that his ahoge works as a sensorial vibration detector just as a whisker.
So does Hikigaya-kun purr or does he not? I have never heard him mewl, but he sure can hiss as if he was being paid to do so.
I hesitantly reach my hand to his messy hair, not sure of why am I even doing this, it's not like I am insufferably bored, and I am aware of the hypocrisy of this, if Hikigaya-kun grabbed my hair while I was asleep I would at least warn him of having the police on speed dial for his perverted actions. But this is no such case, I need to know how far the resemblance goes.
As my fingers came in contact with his hair I was surprised for the better to find it's not dry or oily, but just clean and a little bit soft. I just hope he doesn't clean it by somehow licking himself. And I start stroking from the right upper side of his head to the part behind his ear, smoothly enough to not wake him up in panic.
I oddly get in some state of calm and relaxation of petting Hikigaya-kun, it seems like he doesn't purr, but observing a completely neutral faced Hikigaya-kun, without his look of doubt, distrust and suffering is something I did not expect to see, today or, ever to be honest.
I only got one or two 'mmmms' from the lethargic Hikineko, after carefully stroking the back of his head and behind his ear he reacted like that, albeit no reverberating sounds emitted, I had my answer. I didn't pull my fingers away from his hair, I found it soothing, but before I could unconsciously smile, not only the contrasting odd feeling of breaching a boundary felt annoying at times. Nee-san's words return to nag my thoughts.
Trust
Do we trust each other to do something like this? Distrustful stray cats hiss at people because they are afraid of the hand that wants to pet them, it reminds them of one that striked them before, it reminds them of things that they would want to forget, but taught them to survive in the cold streets and made them who they are today. I have heard all of Hikigaya-kun's ramblings and spoken monologues on why he is like he is and why he thinks he's objectively a superior being (yet another feline trait, although I share this one) but I don't actually know his story, and I don't think he's comfortable to share, and I'm not cruel enough to bait him into warming up when I cannot completely invest myself in being there yet. I am not particularly normal either. Like I said, we both carry heavy luggage.
He doesn't hiss at me like he would hiss at most people, but that does not mean Nee-san's assessment is right. To not hiss does not equal to a purr.
After that train of thought my self consciousness and growing anxiety on how wrong to do that was I withdraw my hand from his hair and carry on with my reading.
Hiratsuka-sensei did arrive at one point, my guess is she wanted to make a dramatic entrance, for she actually knocked. Unbelieavable, when she irrupts in the clubroom she always rams herself in, but now that we have no authority over this room she knows basic manners.
Whatever she had in mind faded away when she catched a glimpse of Hikigaya-kun's peaceful sleeping and myself scooted closely to him, of course she would tease me about it, but she limited herself to smile a warm grin and say "keep it up brats" and left.
She didn't even mention our permission to leave!
Day of the event. Sobu's Cultural Festival 'Blow of memories: Laughter is felt Windward in Chiba!"
The fruits of our labor, I strided around the school grounds making sure everything was going like we planned.
The buildings were draped with signs and banners with witty slogans and catchphrases and school pride. Our national emblem, the Hinomaru waved majestically in front of the main entrance, the direction of the wind matching with the slogan we chose for the festival.
Hikigaya-kun's perception of youth in an oversimplified definition constitutes ignorant bliss and carefree delight. Well, across the perimeter of Sobu High School, his definition of youth could be breathed in the air. Our peers were enjoying themselves, music could be heard from the stages, food was being prepared in the stalls in the vervain.
Not my cup of tea but we worked hard for this, I might as well let everyone enjoy themselves, I'd be damned if they weren't doing so.
Not only that, we were being commended and praised, my armband and my looks attracted a lot of attention and a number of verbal ovations for our duty at making this festival possible. It's best if it doesn't get to my head too much, but I admit it is satisfactory.
Nevertheless I should still double check some of the venues before the opening ceremony.
I passed by 3-B and noticed they ignored me completely, I remember rejecting their argument for the construction of a homemade rustic roller coaster, and here they are with a line 15 people long waiting to ride a, you guessed it. An accursed roller coaster.
As I close in with the remark already on the tip of my tongue I get intercepted by a Hikigaya, but not the taller one.
Hikigaya Komachi, we have met a couple of times before, at that Kurger bing during Kawasaki-san's request, the camp and that time when we met in a bench. One time she invited me to pass the time in LaLaport accompanying her and her brother whom she dragged out of the house. Albeit a feat worthy of acclaim, a 13th Herculean task if we get a little bit poetic. I had to decline the offer.
"Oya, Yukino-san!" She shoots me a toothy smile. Feline fangs. Hikigaya-kun doesn't have those
"Hello Komachi-san" I greet back
"What'chu up to?"
"I am currently in the middle of shutting down a safety hazard."
"This? Aw, no way! Onii-chan said it's good! I actually came here to ride it, let's do it together!"
"H-huh?"
As I voiced my confusion, a student from 3-B who was eavesdropping our conversation interrupted us
"Yukinoshita-san"
"I remember telling you lot this wouldn't pass." I say in a cold voice
"B-but Hikigaya-san said it was fine! Can you give us a chance? Look at all these people who want to ride it, c'mon Yukinoshita-san!"
"Hikigaya-kun approved this? Show me."
"Uhh yes. He sealed us approval after we allowed him to cut the line and ride twice, here it is."
I feel a headache incoming, of course that rascal would use the power we acquired to his convenience. I have no option more than accept it, and it looks like we're abusing our position again, for I have to appease Komachi-san currently eyeing me with kitty eyes.
If we die I blame you Hikigaya-kun.
I took Komachi with me to tour her around, we talked about her starting to study to enter Sobu next school year, what her disappointment of an older brother was doing last time she saw him, apparently even though he was now Co-head of the committee he still got bossed around by the captain of the records and miscellaneous team, assigned him a camera and sent him to take pictures.
We talked some more about our likes, in which we slided down a kilometer long tangent while I spoke about Pan-san's magnificence.
I noticed that by this point some people were throwing questioning or hostile glares at me, and some were whispering things I couldn't decipher. I didn't really have any reason to make a scene so I took Komachi-san with me to the gym, which if I wasn't mistaken should be about to start with 2-F's interpretation Les Miserables.
I dispatched Komachi-san to purchase us drinks in exchange for sneaking us both to a privileged viewpoint in the higher part of the gym directly facing the stage.
They cut a lot of scenes as Hikigaya-kun predicted, but overall to be engineered by Ebina-san,Kawasaki-san, Nee-san and the mentioned Hikigaya-kun, it wasn't that terrible. The costumes were passable, the scenery was at par with a High school festival quality standard, and the acting wasn't exactly trauma inducing.
A job well done Hikigaya-kun, you actually pulled it off.
As 'One day more' was starting, the female audience squealed in admiration and glee at the sight of Hayama-kun and Totsuka singing at the same time, with the intromission of Tobe-kun as Jean Valjean.
[Hayama-kun: "I did live until todaaaay. How can I live when we are parted?"]
[Tobe: "One day more"]
[Hayama and Totsuka: "Tomorrow you'll be worlds awaay, and yet with you my world has started."]
Audience: "Kyaaaaaa"
Interesting observation I get to do right now. I think that if this was the start of middle school, I too would be touched by the words he's singing right now. I definitely wouldn't have squealed like a maiden in love, but I was fond of Hayama-kun, or at least I really thought I was.
'Distrustful stray cats hiss at people because they are afraid of the hand that wants to pet them, it reminds them of one that striked them before, it reminds them of things that they would want to forget, but taught them to survive in the cold streets and made them who they are today.'
The thought resurfaces, I guess we are more similar than we thought. it's interesting to analyze a past wish you had when you were less experienced and more gullible. I don't think Hayama-kun deliberately tried to harm me like I concluded with in the aftermath of his 'betrayal'. But I can't find it in me to trust him again like has asked again and again.
But to be honest I don't know what to with an epilogue that refuses to end, what can be done? I keep the curtain closed but every time he attempts to open it again, Nee-san catched onto it before I did.
Why are you so adamant on going back to simpler times in which we knew nothing Hayato?
"Anone Yukino-san." the younger ahoge possessing Hikigaya breaks my thought process
"What is it?"
"Why didn't you give the opening speech of the festival?"
Well, not to mention Hikigaya-kun and I basically constructed an improvised coup d'etat in the board just a few days ago, I didn't actually felt like giving it.
"Well I already gave a speech back in first year during the first day of classes, and some things happened that didn't allow the previous head of the committee to give her speech." hehe
"Did your sister plan it?"
Nee-san?
"No, we took care of it ourselves, she did come to bother me and surprisingly Hikigaya-kun to a further extent at times, but we kept her at bay, we even managed to get her to collaborate, look."
Just as the last round of applause was given to 2-F's performance, Nee-san got her entire crew to put their sits and instruments in the stage, and they started playing Joe Hisashi's 'Merry-Go-Round-Of-Life' to start solemn and then they ascended with 'Riverside Street' changing genres to a more energetic performance.
I was actually asked to sing with Nee-san, Hayama-kun and Shiromeguri-senpai, but I refused. To be honest I don't feel comfortable doing something that embarassing in front of everybody. And what is up with Nee-san's dress? How can I even sing alongside her? I am wearing my vest and shirt uniform!
We decided to take a break after that and head out for a while to breath some fresh air when I noticed the earlier muttering and whispering was even more noticeable now, something happened.
"Yeah, Sagami from 2-F says she saw them like that, he must've blackmailed her to it or something, he's so gross."
I managed to overhear one of them and I get the gist of what they're talking about, but I need to confirm before going in an assumption.
"I heard too! Hayama and his friends confronted him over it."
"I heard the bigger one landed a blow on him, he deserves it. Who does he think he is coercing Yukinoshita-san to grab his head?"
"Yeah, like he even admitted to doing so"
"I know, like what is he? A perverted old man? A child? What a fucking loser."
Komachi-san is hearing this too with widened eyes at the thought of his brother getting attacked
Hikigaya-kun you idiot
I touch her shoulder in a hurry and signal her to come with me, as I overheard one of the people whispering say Hikigaya-kun got punched in the roof.
So he did it again. He decided to put himself in the noose instead of the both of us being targeted, this time it wasn't out of desperation to save a little girl, this time it was me.
Again with the reminiscence, back some years this is all I wanted, for someone to shield me from the cruelty of others, for I had no one. But I am now completely sure I would have hated if Hayama-kun hurted himself in order to relieve me.
This I cannot accept, Hikigaya-kun didn't blackmail me, we didn't do even anything inappropriate! Come to think about it, he must've not even known it happened before whoever saw us, which I think I heard it was Sagami-san spread this rumor.
But why? Why do this?
When I arrived panting at the roof I see him leaning against the wall, pressing a handkerchief to his upper lip while staring at the sea. I get angrier.
Out of instinct I shove him sideways, almost making him stumble.
"Hikigaya-kun, what did you tell them?"
He looks at me with a miserable expression
"I told them I forced you to do it."
"What were you thinking?!" I scowl
"Yukinoshita. Your sister is here, cameras are here, the entire school staff and parents are here. We just finished weeks' worth of administrative work, do you really think I was going to let your image get wrecked just because one bitch couldn't hear the hard truth? All the work we did would have gone to the drain."
I sigh and look him still annoyed
"Did Hayama-kun did this to you?"
"No, it was Yamato the one who decked me." He says instantly removing the handkerchief reveals bloodied red teeth, and then changing to a tissue to replace the stained handkerchief.
"Hikigaya-kun. I don't know what to tell you, I thought I knew you at least a little bit, but now I know you better." I say in sheer disappointment
He gives a defeated sigh and averts his gaze at the sealine again
I stare at the sea as well, the sky reveals itself clear but the windward force feels cold upon impact.
The festival is over.
Next Chapter: Gaze through Johari's window and you'll see fire.
Afterword: Ok, the actual story won't be that detailed, I rather you lads reviewing the actual story and not my life. But basically, I found a cynical essay I did when I was a first year, got nostalgic and pasted it on 'how did this happen'. Now I am what most of you would call Senior, and wrote another one to see how different I am from that time. I am somehow worse, since it landed me on the councillor's office (Who is not a hot milf regrettably) and I got threatened with not graduating or not recommending me to the University I applied to.
Don't mix cynicism with nationalism, normies tend to overreact to the first edgy shit they read. That's almost sorted out so that happened.
Onto the story itself: 24k words. That's more than half of the other 5 chapters combined. I took so fucking long not only because of my incident in the meat world. For an entire month everything I had written was the first part. I wrote a sentence and then got tired and stopped for the day. It was not until 2 weeks ago that I got on beast mode and wrote from the part in which Hachiman has that flashback to the end. Although midway I got into a cycle of writing a lot of stuff, thinking it's amazing, then thinking its cringe. But alas, here it is. I genuinely hope you fucks liked it.
Next chapter will replace the sports festival and will deal with both of their reactions to Hachiman's lie. I hope it doesn't take two fucking months. I have been debating with myself if giving a Hayama POV, nobody wants it, I don't want to write it and honestly it's hard. I think I understand his character quite fine, but I hit block after block when trying to write in his perspective, I've tried reading other fics for inspiration, but the first one I met was fucking NTR. And one may ask, if you don't want to write it why bother? Well it's going to be nagging me to not fall into the typical HachiYuki circlejerk. Which, I mean, I am a Yukifag, and a Hachiman self-insert, so I should. But I need depth and development, otherwise my story will be shit.
And on that note. I won't start another story because the passing of February showed me I in fact, can't keep up with 3 simultaneously ongoing fics, much less 4, so that's on hold, but I came across in my head after reading some atrocious NTR snippets, a painful story of Hachiman dealing with Yukino's betrayal (I know, I know, NTR is fucking disgusting) but the concept of Yukino fixing Hachiman as she was tasked and then breaking him far worse than when they met seems so fucking interesting, I suck at writing painful stories, my 2 painful fics crashed and burned, which is why "Regret of an Ice Queen" will be the next story I write after this is finished, practice supposedly makes master and it's better than actually talking to people.
Anyways, this whole afterword is not particularly relevant, mostly filler, I'll be an adult by the time battle station and How did this happen are finished, in about 3 months my teen romantic comedy ends. I have an outline of ideas for 'Twice' but that shit died, I don't think it will suffer the same fate as IDETSYH but it'll be put on hiatus (whenever I'm bored enough to write it and don't get distracted)
Take care lads
