Chapter 18
Aleksej, Tsar of all the Russias, such as they were, woke up in horror. He expected his morning to be regulated and normal, waking with the aid of servants, who would dress him, provide him with tea, and feed him breakfast after he had seen to his hawks and hounds. Waking suddenly to discover several grinning Polish hussars around his bed, and the fearsome features of Jeremi Korybut Wiśniowiecki sitting on his feet had the chubby monarch sit up with a yell.
"It's a nightmare. It's a nightmare. It must be, presently I will wake up," he muttered.
"I'm terribly sorry, cherub, but it's all quite real," said Jeremi, borrowing his son's expression. "You really should not have sent a raiding party to test us. We Sarmatians value our freedoms, you know. And we do not take kindly to being invaded. Now, we also got very irritable about how badly your boyars treat your serfs. So, as you're my prisoner, you're going to be learning a few facts of life before we discuss a peace treaty. I've brought you some clothes to put on." He tossed the trembling monarch shirt, drawers, tunic and trousers and some rough, peasant shoes.
"But... why should I put on peasant clothes?" he demanded.
"Because I have all the available soldiery in Moskwa, that's why," said Jeremi. "And whilst you co-operate, you have every chance of earning my respect and returning to your throne. If you fail to co-operate, I might accidentally forget how close you are to my sabre."
oOoOo
"You will, I am sure, recognise that actions have consequences, your highness," said Helena, smiling at the tsarina. "And your husband encouraged adventurism onto our lands. We don't like this. We shall be taking your children to Poland as a guarantee of the safety of our realm, and your choice will be whether you come with your children, or stay with your husband. You have time to think about it; we recognise you as an innocent non-combatant caught up in your husband's desires to regain the lands of the Kievan Rus. That ship sailed a long time ago."
"But I don't understand; who are you and what are you doing here? Is this a peasant revolt?"
"We're Poles. Which is to say, some of us are Cossacks. And your idiot husband sent a force into our territory. So we're returning the compliment more forcefully. Because it was rude, so we came to spank Moskwa's bottom. And then we found the serfs who discovered that they lived better as prisoners of an army on the march than in their everyday life. Aren't you ashamed?"
"What have I to be ashamed of? They are just serfs, animals. They have no feelings."
"For that, I'm damned tempted to have your children raised by serfs not by my husband and me. But they are innocents and don't deserve me to take out my anger at your lack of Christianity. What religion are you that speaks of any of God's children as 'animals' and 'without feelings' which even animals have. You disgust me! Just stay out of my way."
"But who are you?" wailed the tsarina. "I won't let you take my children to be raised by horrid peasants like you!"
"Spoilt brat, ain't you?" said Helena. "For your information, my husband is Prince Jurij Korybut Wiśniowiecki and I was born Helena Kurcewiczówna, princess. My husband's family traces their lineage to Ruryk of the Kievan Rus, which means he has more right to be in this disgustingly opulent palace than you or your husband do. But we don't want it; we're civilised. We would like to teach your children to be civilised too, so they may be treated as royalty by the rest of Europe, not laughed at as barbarian chieflings with pretensions to humanity."
oOoOo
"Papa, I found a boyar with ambitions for peace and reform," said Jurko. "His name is Artamon Matwejew as far as I can figure out, and he wants to westernise. But of course if we make him governor the other boyars will kill him. He rose from humble beginnings."
"I'll impose one of our officers as governor and make this Matwejew his advisor," said Jeremi. "Aleksej is working with other prisoners on the canal, and is not the loudest. He's getting the considered opinion of the serfs on many of the others to whom I did not afford the kindness of giving them anonymous clothing. He didn't realise I meant it as a kindness, but being a Moskal despite, he isn't stupid, and I think he's worked it out. I introduced him as a servant from the palace who did not know how to do physical labour; your friend, Plato, is looking after him."
Jurko laughed.
"He might just learn a lot from the experience, then. Plato, like his namesake, is quite a philosopher."
oOoOo
Jan Sobieski fell into the palace, somewhat dishevelled but with an air of triumph about him.
"Pardon my appearance, majesty, but I fetched up on the same boat as your brother and De Lumbres. So when we disembarked, I hurried. She signed, like a lamb."
"Excellent, thank you," said Gryzelda, unrolling the scroll he proffered. "Go and acquire a ring or other promise token, have a quick bath, and then you may present your suit to Marysieńka. I doubt my brother will arrive before he has had a bath and changed his clothes. And of course the ambassador will come first with his amended treaty. I wonder what he will have added to balance my demand that he take out reparations to Sweden?"
"Reparations? But we were attacked!" said Sobieski, indignantly.
"He is a contumelious little blood-sucker, like his master," said Gryzelda. "Now, run along! You have things to do!"
De Lumbres was able to summon a nearly genuine smile as he bowed his way into the throne room.
"Your majesty! I have been hard at work to make the amendments you demanded," he said. "Here it is corrected."
Gryzelda took it. She suppressed a chuckle to see that instead of reparations to Sweden, there was a clause permitting French citizens on official business to travel free on the canals.
"Oh, dear, this won't do," she said. "I have no power to offer any free transport on the canals, the canals are not owned and run by the state, they have been constructed by private enterprise, which merely offers free transport to the Rzeczpospolita officials as a patriotic gesture. You should ascertain your facts before wasting good parchment. What a shame. Oh, Ruryk!" she called over her youngest son who had been lurking, "You wanted something to fold into paper boats to play Cossacks and Ottomans, there are several pages of this, it should make excellent boats, and look, four pages, one each for you, Janko, Janek and Basia."
"Thank you, Mama! Thank you, Mr. Ambassador," said Ruryk, scampering off before De Lumbres had a chance to protest.
"I will go and make a new treaty," said De Lumbres, whose smile had slipped. The sooner the wretched woman's brother browbeat her into submission the better.
oOoOo
Sobiepan strolled into the throne room, and did not bother with a bow of any kind.
"Now what's all this about you being missish and mulish over that nice Frenchman trying to help you, Gryzulka?" he asked, bending to kiss her on the forehead, a blatant reminder that he was head of the house of Zamoyski.
"You know I dislike that pet name, Janicek," said Gryzelda.
"Don't call me that, dear sister," said Sobiepan.
"A Roland for your Oliver," said Gryzelda, sweetly.
"Now, now, that's very childish. You should have grown out of that nonsense," said Sobiepan. "Or else nobody will take you seriously."
"Why should I bother, with you, since you do not take me seriously?" said Gryzelda.
"You're my sister; I'm here to look out for you," said Sobiepan.
"Well, you are scarcely looking out for me in urging me to be nice to that slimy little creature of Mazarin's," said Gryzelda. "Have you any idea what he wanted me to put a signature to?"
"Well, how bad can it be?" said Sobiepan.
"I have at least made him take out the idea that we should pay reparations to Sweden," said Gryzelda. "And pointed out that as the canals are private property, he can't demand free transport on them. I refuse, too, to sign an undertaking never to support any member of the Holy Roman Empire in perpetuity, and nor will I agree to the influx of Frenchmen as 'advisors;' for they will be no such thing."
"Oh, my dear, you're too untrusting. And why would we ever want to ally with any of the Holy Roman Empire anyway?"
"Against the Ottomans, maybe? Or the depredations of France?" Gryzelda's smile was brittle.
"You are a fool, Gryzelda. I'm your brother, and responsible for you when Jeremi is away. You aren't to be trusted to run your own affairs, let alone be left as regent. What Jeremi was thinking I cannot imagine! Now sign that treaty like a good girl, or I shall have to be cross with you."
"Prince Zamoyski, you should remember that your sister married and moved into another household," said Gryzelda, icily. "And in this situation I am not your sister; we are your queen, and we are well aware that your motives in this stem from your overworked dick, and your lust for Marysieńka. And you are too late; I have been in negotiations with Ludwika Maria who is her legal guardian, and entered into a formal betrothal with someone the widow queen approved. And I have the document she signed to that effect right here."
"Give it here!" Sobiepan made to snatch the parchment Gryzelda held, and put it triumphantly to the flame of a candle. "Now that's an end to that nonsense. I am tempted to beat you; Jeremi does not discipline you well enough. Stop being tiresome and sign.
"That was a waste of a plain piece of parchment," said Gryzelda. "What, you did not think I would let you touch and take the actual document, do you? You have been bribed by France to act the traitor and go against the lawful orders of you queen. Guards!"
The discreet guards materialised.
"Majesty?" they were led by Sobieski.
"Take this traitor and incarcerate him in the dungeons," said Gryzelda. "And he is to have no visitors to whom I have not given written permission, until my husband returns, and then he can deal with him."
"Gryzulka! You can't do this!" howled Sobiepan.
"Funny, I seem to be doing it," said Gryzelda. "You threatened me, and as I sit here in the stead of my husband, you have effectively threatened my husband. And though you might conceivably beat me at a duel, you would not beat him if he decided to let you off lightly and duel you to death instead of impaling you for lese majeste."
Sobiepan paled.
It would be like Jeremi to take it that way.
Sobieski came back to speak to the queen.
"Can you do that?" he asked.
"I have no idea," said Gryzelda. "But if I have no idea, he can sweat over how much I think I can do. I wish my brother was not so venal; I do love him, but at times I could wish he was not so selfish and self-centred. A good shock and a stay in the dungeons might just help him to find some humility and be a better person. I shall appoint him a confessor. One of my choosing."
"Very wise, majesty," said Sobieski. "Are you going to tell the Sejm about it?"
"No," said Gryzelda. "I will write to Jeremi, however. And whilst he is in gaol, I believe I might visit Zamość myself and dismantle his harem, arranging for stipends for the unfortunate girls within through his steward, who knows me well enough. And that will be punishment enough for him, I should think. I don't think I have gone too far; but that child looks to me to protect her, and my brother is not a suitable beau for her."
"He would browbeat her, or try to," said Sobieski.
"And he would give her the pox as well, for I wager he suffers from it," said Gryzelda. "And why should she have her life blighted for his filthy habits?"
oOoOo
The Muskovite forces regrouped to attack the invaders, but were at the disadvantage of being excluded from the inner wards.
Helena was spending time with the royal children, getting to know them, and playing with them. Five year old Yevdokia was the same age as Janko, which made things easier, and her sister Marfa a little older than Cyryl and Krystina. Aleksej was a baby still, mobile but not very much so, and the tsarina was pregnant.
Helena found no difficulty in becoming a favoured personage in the nursery. Paying attention to small people was something she found no difficulty in doing.
Meanwhile, Jurko received a petition.
"We belong to the old religion, highness," said a dignified old man.
"What, paganism?" said Jurko, startled.
"Certainly not! We are Orthodox Christians, and we worship in the way we have always worshipped until that Patriarch Nikon says we are crossing ourselves wrong, and mispronouncing Christ, and such things as that. He says we should do as the Greeks do; but we are not Greek, we are Russian."
"Well, Catholics cross themselves differently, and I doubt any of us can get our tongues around the name of Christ in Hebraic or whatever it was that he spoke," said Jurko. "What are you asking of me?"
"That our beliefs should be recognised and accepted, that we should not be penalised or excommunicated, and that we should have freedom of worship."
"I have two questions for you," said Jurko. "Firstly, do you love God, and His son?"
"Yes, of course," said the old man.
"Second question; even as you desire the right to worship in your own way, do you wish to deny the right to change to those who believe the Greek practice is correct, or to stop Catholics, Protestants, Jews, or Muslims from worshipping in their own way?"
There was a long silence.
"You are correct to rebuke us with that question, your highness," said the old man. "We have no right to condemn the beliefs and practices of others."
"That being so, I see no problem in accepting your version of belief in the Rzeczpospolita," said Jurko. "And as such, this Nikon is in trouble. I will speak with my father about it, and he will deal with him."
"Thank you, highness," said the old man.
Jurko went in search of Helena.
"Messiahs! Differences in crossing oneself! Heresy made up out of ambition and tomfoolery! Why me?"
"Because you get things done, my love," said Helena. "And people recognise that."
"This damned country is too stinking, backwards and full of dissension for anyone in their right mind to want sovereignty over it," said Jurko, crossly. "Let's give it to the Turks and let them have the headaches."
