LISA'S POINT OF VIEW

Lisa lay flat on her back in her small bed, listening to the sounds of her mother moaning in the room next to her. Her current fuck buddy was louder than she was, grunting and groaning.

Placing her headphones over her ears she listened to the music that drowned out the sounds of her mother having sex. She threw an arm over her eyes and swallowed thickly.

Two days, she'd been back for two days and she already wished she could leave this fucking hell hole.

~~~~~~~~

Her mother was pushing her to her limit. The day she'd arrived home, the entire house had been a complete and utter disaster. She was still working on the outside, the grass had been over grown and weeds had began to sprout.

The nagging feeling of her mistake poked at her like a hot brand. The look on Jennie's face flashed through her mind every second of the day. While she worked, while she ate, even while she slept, all she saw was her.

Lisa destroyed her and now she was haunting her. She knew she deserved it. Shit happened, and she was to blame. She should have been smarter about it. Looking back now, she knew there had been other way to go about the situation, however at the time, the only answer had stood out in front of her like a sore thumb.

As her music blared in her ears, she closed her eyes and reimagined what might have happened if she'd done things differently.

3 months later

Head hung low with her dark hoodie covering her head, Lisa walked through the halls of her high school hating everything and everyone.

This was her last year until she was free.

"Lisa!" A voice shouted over the loud obnoxious voices of the students littering the long hallway.

She glanced back, keeping her face a blank mask, devoid of any and all emotion. Her heart still hurt, but she refused to wear it on her sleeve. She now knew why she'd never fiddled around with the idea of a relationship before...

Bambam came barreling through the crowd, squeezing his way past several groups.

"Fucking move!" She yelled.

The hall became silent, and the various groups that had refused to move for Bambam, parted, letting him through. They gave him a weary look, everyone knew her reputation for not taking everyone's shit.

People were assholes and if they were going to be rude even to her friends then she was going to return the favor.

Bam rushed over to her, his face was flushed and he panted heavily as he read justed the book bag on his back.

Lisa's tired eyes met Bam's and for once, Lisa glanced away first. Her friend was staring into her soul, he knew how badly Lisa had taken everything and the compassion that lurked behind Bam's eyes tore into her, way more than what she'd be willing to admit.

"What's up?" She asked leaning back against the wall. Her hand twitched, urging her to reach into her pocket and pull out her lifeline, she needed a smoke really bad.

Bambam huffed and puffed before drawing himself back up, "I heard... well, umm, I heard from Jackson that she's -"

Eyes snapping up to her friends, Lisa felt a rush of anger course through her "Don't talk about her. At all." She snapped.

She didn't want to know how great she was going. She didn't want to know if she'd found someone else, which of course she was certain she had. She was beautiful, inside and out. She was ripe for the taking.

Fucking lucky bastard. Whoever he was.

Bam blanched but nodded.

A group of girls walked past, eyeing Lisa up and down. The giggled and one was bold enough to wave at her.

Her smile didn't match hers.

Her eyes didn't pull her in like hers.

Any and all attraction she may have once found with others simply wasn't there, because they weren't her.

She glanced away from them and shoved her hands deep into her pockets. Her entire body felt heavy and weighed down. She missed her.

Fuck all!

"Lisa you ok?" Bam asked. There was that look again.

"Fine" she snapped before walking away mixing into the crowd.

Would this feeling ever fade?

Six months later

Lisa didn't think about her quite so much now. She'd learned to bury her and her feelings. She never reached out to Jennie and she never reached out to her.

Her father had offered to let her spend the holidays with him, but Lisa had declined. It wouldn't have been a good idea.

Her mother was thrilled she'd stayed.

Fucking bitch.

She'd slaved over the stove, cooking the holiday meal. She'd pulled out the various cheap and broken decorations from the attic. She'd bought a cheap tree. This was her favorite holiday, as the decorations made the hell hole that was her home looking and feel a little better.

Her mother stumbled from her bedroom, her eyes red and puffy as she hadn't gotten much sleep last night.

How did she know? She'd been awake as she'd screamed her head off as her boyfriend rammed into her. Fucking disgusting.

She sneered at the large bald man that walked out of her bedroom.

"The fuck you looking at kid?" The man sneered, his face was flushed from all the activity. His eyes bore into Lisa. The man, like many before him, hated Lisa's existence. Simply because she was there.

All her mothers boyfriends and or lovers hated her. Maybe it was because they viewed her as a threat or because while she walked through the house, they couldn't bang her wherever they pleased. Either way, they hated her.

"Get the fuck out of here" Lisa sneered at the man.

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to you prick?" The man roared just as Lisa came to her feet. Her mother rushed between them as they both closed in on each other.

"Roger, hunny, why don't you go sit down at the table. We can order whatever you want."

Lisa wanted to rant and rave at her mother and this low life but she bit her tongue. A few more months and she'd be gone.

The man, Roger, strode away giving Lisa a death glare.

Her mother turned to her, her eyes spitting fire, "What the hell is wrong with you!? I send you to your fathers for a few months and you come back worse than you were before!" She said throwing her hands up in the air.

Clenching and unclenching her fists she took a step back before she did something she'd regret. Turning on her heel she walked to her room, slamming the door shut, disappearing the rest of the night.

The image of Jennie consuling her, helping her deal with her mother rushed across the fore front of her mind.

Once again, as she'd done in the past, she checked her phone for any missed calls or texts from her.

And like every other time, she was disappointing and the familiar ache of disappointment traveled through her body, spearing her heart.

Maybe she needed to be the one to take the first step. She'd give her time and when she was no longer bound to her mother, she'd seek her out.

One Year later

Lisa had given her enough time. To much time in fact.

She'd graduated, signed up for college courses and had took the first step into find Jennie.

As of today, it had officially been a week since she'd seen her. She was still as beautiful as ever, and it was her loss.

She'd found the courage to confront her and ended up watching another man embrace her. The library where she'd found her in had began to close in on her, so she walked away.

Her father had called her just yesterday and had told her about her plans on divorcing Caroline. Apparently she'd found love elsewhere.

No shocker there.

A heavy knock pounded at her car door. Glancing up she met the blue eyes of a beautiful blonde. Her dark lips lifted in a sensual smirk.

She felt her own mirror hers and unlocked the door, watching as she strode around the cars front, her short jean skirt hardly covering her ass and her tummy baring tank top show casing the globes of her breasts.

"Hey baby" She said climbing in before leaning over and kissing her full on the mouth.

Her body shuddered, almost in revulsion. She held it back, she hadn't been with a woman in a year, since she'd left Jennie.

If she could move on, so could her.

~~~~~~~~~~