A/N: Think this needs an M-rating yet?

As ever, we're following the Ember's Rule here. That's no joke. Really, it isn't. If folks don't like this...well, it won't be continued. Every bit of feedback helps. Reviews are the fuel which keeps me writing in these crazy times. With my tight schedule -two jobs!- I simply don't have time to write a story folks don't like. Without them, my inspiration cannot take wing and I can't write a word. So by all means, speak up!

The fate of this story depends on you, the reader.

Now for your questions, comments, and concerns. Here we go:

Q: Update schedule?

A: Already gave it in another update. That said, my muse wants to update Elden Ring weekly, and I'm trying to resist.

Q:...I can see Naruto channeling some Alfie Solomons here, eventually starting to curse, swear, intimidating the hell out of Vought.

A: Alfie Solomons? Peaky Blinders? I just found that show! Tom Hardy is amazing!

Won't do a story for it, though. That's an ironclad rule.

Its fine the way it is.

Q: Is Naruto ready to be a dad?

A: He may not be ready for fatherhood, but Naruto's gonna give it his best shot, as he does all things.

Q: How far off are we from the events of the show? You are following the show, right, not the comics?

A: Yes, I'm going with the show. We'll eventually reach the events of the Boys, don't you worry. Still trying to find more time to watch the show, but ach, I need tiiiiiime...

Q: Neon, please don't SPOILER and SPOILER with SPOILER. That would be too cruel for SPOILER. At least give SPOILER a chance!

A: *zips iips*

Alright, then! I think I've kept you all waiting long enough, no?

As ever, I own no references, themes, or memes. Not a wit, not a one!

I'll warn you right now; you should brace yourself. This story doesn't pull any punches.

Don't push a good man; for good men have limits, and once you break past those...it never ends well.

"That boy, is company property. Return him to us. Now."

"Hmm? What's this? Boy? I see no boy here."

"Enough! We know you have him."

"Prove it, bitch. Oh, would you look at that! I cursed. Again! Been doing an awful lot of that since I found myself in this world of yours. Wanna know why? Ah, ah, ah! My turn to talk now. You see, it wasn't all the needles or the drugs you bastards filled me with that made me this way, though that certainly gave me a...nudge. It wasn't even the pointless cruelty, although this too, played a part. No, it was the moment you took it into your fuckin' heads to experiment on a damn kid. Then, when the world called you on the carpet, you feigned ignorance. Do you have any idea how badly you messed him up? I'm still working on him, even after all this time.

And now you want that kid back? No. Nope. Negatory. Not on my life.

See, that's the thing about the powerful. They're so used to having their way, running roughshod over the powerless, getting whatever they want, whenever they want it. Did it ever occur to you that someone with enough power to crack your world in half, someone who once was powerless himself, might take issue with that? No? Didn't think so. Don't worry. You're gonna learn today...

~A Future Scene.

Hills to Climb

"I can fly~!"

Naruto slapped his forehead, producing an audible pop.

"So you can." he gazed up at the distant speck wheeling among the clouds from the rooftop. "Just be careful! Don't hit a plane!"

"M'kay!"

A distant whoop of laughter greeted him and try as he might, he couldn't quite choke down a smile as he listened to it. Good for John. Poor boy deserved some happiness after all he'd been through. If anyone wanted to take issue, he'd give them a black eye and thrash their arse besides.

"And then some." Kurama groused. "Let him have his fun. I'll eviscerate anyone who touches him."

Naruto whistled a little, then winced when John nearly fell out the sky. "You're grouchy today."

"I'm still trying to flush those drugs out your system. Ain't working."

He feigned a shrug. "Well, that would explain the laser eyes...

"Brat! This isn't funny! Your hair's gone white!"

...but I'm still alive. I'll take what I can get."

These last six months had proven...interesting, to say the least. Whatever this "Vought" group had done to him left its mark, both physically and mentally. Kurama was able to undo much of the damage, but even he had his limits. It felt like he'd aged years in the soul alone. He'd even picked up a few new tricks he hadn't before; felt like he discovered a new one every day.

Last week it had been the aforementioned eyes. Before that, he'd read someone's mind at random. He'd not been able to duplicate the feat since.

There was no way of knowing what the cost of his new abilities were, or how much time he had left. It could be years. Decades...days. He didn't know. In the end, it didn't matter. He'd do what good he could with whatever time he had left, regardless of the length. He was already using it to learn about this world, cynical as it was.

He'd set a tidy nest egg for John, should anything happen. Vought could go choke on said egg.

Thankfully this so-called "pharmaceutical company" was much too preoccupied with the mess he'd left behind to truly pursue them...nor did they realize just how much money he'd siphoned after the breakout. Enough to set up new identities for the both him and John. Leaving witnesses behind only served to further exacerbate the pubic's fury. That was the spark. Video footage sealed their fate. Gasoline on the fire. One interview with a local news station was all it took to torpedo their reputation entirely.

You didn't experiment on kids. That was a one way ticket to hell.

"You do realize they're going to hunt you down like a dog for this." Leave it to Kurama to be the voice of reason. "They're already kicking off a smear campaign against you. Calling you a vigilante. A thug and a terrorist."

"And? Why should I care what they think? I don't give this," Naruto snapped his fingers, one eye carefully watching John weave round a passing plane, "About what their opinions. I know the truth. So does he. That's all that matters."

A tiny ember of pride bloomed in his heart as he watched his "son" snag a balloon out the air before it reached the clouds. For an instant he wondered what John might do-but no, he wasn't disapointed. Quick as a flash he zipped back down and returned it to its owner, then took off again even as they thanked him. His sensitive ears heard the click of a camera.

Heh.

Kid had no idea of the PR he'd just garnered with that simple act of kindness.

"He's gonna do great things, Kurama. I just know it."

"They'll come for him. You know this."

"Let 'em." Pride hardened into steely resolve. "They want scary? I'll show 'em scary. Don't fuck with a prank master."

...you've been swearing an awful lot lately."

Anger flashed through him. He could still feel the needles, sometimes. His lips pursed into a thin line.

"Got good bloody reason to...

Was it any wonder then, that he'd he'd taken a little pleasure in twisting the knife in Vought's metaphorical heart. Stop a few heists, catch a couple planes, save a few civilian, all the while decrying Vought's heinous image, and the public ate it up. The company denied it naturally -denied him!- of course they did. But the damage was done. They'd need decades to recover from this.

"On your left."

Naruto casually flicked out a golden arm and stepped back with a laugh as the rooftop rocked beneath him. His gaze snapped down as the grinning boy now knelt before him, one fist pressed into the gravel. A shockwave had him arching an eyebrow. Kid was getting stronger. They'd need to start strength training, soon.

"Trying for a superhero landing, eh?" he applauded. "Not bad."

John beamed and he found himself reminded of an earnest puppy looking for praise. "I did good?"

"You did great, champ." A scarred palm tousled his hair. "Just be a little more careful next time. Almost knocked me down. "Remember, John. With great power comes great responsibility." he knelt, still touching a hand to his head as he held him in place. "Heroes help people. They don't do it for fame. They don't do it for the money. They don't it for sponsorship deals." thus speaking he drew the boy into a brisk hug, drew back, and held him by the shoulders. "A hero is just that. A hero. Nothing more. Nothing less."

John's brow furrowed. "Then why do they help people, dad?"

Naruto faltered a little at the insightful inquiry.

Always with the questions, this one.

"That's fair." The scarred blond chuckled. "Alright." he guided him away from the rooftop ledge. "Lemme tell you a story...

This was his boy. Let Vought send their attack dogs.

He'd give them no quarter.

None at all.


(.0.0.0.)


They came in the dead of night.

Like cowards they crept into the manor.

Their task was simple. Secure the boy. Kill the man.

To their credit, they walked to their deaths with admirable courage. They made it all of three steps across the threshold before the door slammed shut behind them. One of them had the foresight to pivot and reach out for it, but too late. A seal flashed. He staggered back, with a hiss clutching his singed hand.

"Best not to touch that. Wouldn't want to lose the other hand, would we?"

A light snapped on at the end of the hall, dim enough to reveal little more than a shadow, a figure in the dark.

"Good evening. Intruders." the figure blew out an angry breath, expelling a cloud of steam into the frigid room. "So eager to enter. But twice as eager to leave when the tables are turned." His head rose slowly, whiskered cheeks dimply in a death's head grin "Tell me, intruders." Blue eyes gleamed a sinister, slitted scarlet in the dark. "How eager are you to leave now?"

Silence reigned supreme. The squad of five didn't move. Didn't speak. Didn't breathe. One of them gulped.

"You brought silencers, good." The man hummed. "Wouldn't want to wake the boy."

He rose with a wooden hum, chair creaking behind him.

"Try not to scream, would you kindly?"

The hit squad opened fire.

Naruto flashed gold.

Blood spattered.

A/N: Don't mess with the prank king.

Vought doesn't realize just how much chaos an angry Naruto could cause; and that's without considering his penchant for said pranks.

As ever, we're following the Ember's Rule here. That's no joke. Really, it isn't. If folks don't like this...well, it won't be continued. Every bit of feedback helps. Reviews are the fuel which keeps me writing in these crazy times. With my tight schedule -two jobs!- I simply don't have time to write a story folks don't like. Without them, my inspiration cannot take wing and I can't write a word. So by all means, speak up!

So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...Review, Would You Kindly?

And of course, enjoy the previews. Potential ones.

(Previews~!)

"John, m'boy! I've brought you a friend! Isn't she adorable?"


"Ugggggh you are such a dad. Stop making those awful puns!"

Naruto cackled as he walked off.


"You'll be a hero alright, but on your terms. Not theirs. You thought of a good name?"

"I was thinking...Homelander?"

"Bit cheesy, but it works."


A fist smacked into an open palm.

"Much better!" he crowed. "I can actually feel that!"


"The fool stinks of rum."

"There's a good reason for that, little missy." Naruto hummed. "Because I'm rather fond of Ramen. And rum. Helps with the pain, you see. The pain from all those drugs you lot shoved into me."

Stormfront's blood ran colder than ice. "...you speak German?"

"Yup." He turned another page, still not looking at her. "But we're getting off topic, aren't we? You people, your company, your men, hunted my boy. With dogs. Through the snow." a chill shivered through the air as his eyes rose to meet hers; the smile that touched his lips was sharp as ice. "But today is for forgiveness, isn't it? You said so yourself. Now sit your pretty little ass down and lets talk."

Bad idea now!

...and if I refuse?"

"Then you meet Kurama."

R&R~!