A/N #1: This chapter will be rated M.

A/N #2: In the author's notes for Chapter 1, I wrote that the prequel to this story is called 'Just Breathe.' I got the title wrong. The prequel is 'Breathe Again.' It was posted in May of 2020. I apologize for everybody who was searching for 'Just Breathe.'

A/N #3: I want to thank everyone for the reviews and follows for Chapter 1. It feels good to be back after what has been a nightmare of a year for me. I also want to welcome my new readers. Enjoy the ride!

Just Keep Breathing

Chapter 2

This chapter takes place during and after 'Cuffed.'

"Do you have a story for this? Us handcuffed together, an old lady in a cage?"

"Yeah, but not one you're going to like."

"Why?"

"Because I can't think of a version that ends well. Not even a Disney version."

Castle saw the expression on Kate's face and saw the look that he'd seen just one or two times before. Fear. The only times he remembered seeing fear on Beckett's face was when they found the dirty bomb and that morning in the cemetery. Both times she had thought that she was going to die. "We're going to get out of here," he assured her, acting more confident that he felt.

"I hope you're right."

"We've been gone long enough that the boys are bound to be looking for us."

"We've wasted so much time, Castle."

"Then let's get out of here and make up for that lost time."

"Where was Martha taking Alexis?"

"I'm not sure of their whole itinerary. I just know that Mother was taking Alexis to look at colleges. It's also an excuse for her to spend quality time with Alexis."

"Alexis is lucky to have her," Kate smiled.

"I agree. Did you have a relationship with your grandparents?"

"Just my grandfather on my dad's side."

"He was the amateur magician?"

"Yeah. He died when I was 13. My dad's mother and my mom's parents both died when I was young. I don't have memories of any of them. What about you? Did you have your grandparents growing up?"

"No," Castle shook his head. "Mother told me that her parents disowned her when she got pregnant with me. She never spoke to either of them again."

"I'm sorry, Castle."

"Don't be," he smiled. "Like with my father, you can't miss what you never had."

***CCC***

"Do you think Lanie and Espo will get back together?"

"I don't know. They're so right for each other, but Espo is so terrified of commitment."

"You've noticed that, too?"

"Noticed it? I've known Esposito for longer than you have. I've seen him go through a parade of women. He wants to play the field. I guess it's because of his father walking out on his mom when he was a kid."

"I can empathize with that. After I divorced Meredith, I dated a lot of women. But I was afraid to commit to any of them."

"You had Alexis to think about, too. You didn't want her to get hurt in case your next marriage also failed."

"Which it did."

"Where does Kyra fit into the picture? Was she before Meredith or after?"

"Before. She was in college, and I was trying to get my first book published."

"You said that she was the one that got away."

"Wow, do you remember everything I say?"

"Of course," Kate smiled. "I'm sure that you remember everything that I say, as well."

"Yeah, I do," he admitted. "What do you want to do when we get out of here?"

"Eat."

"I still have jerky," Castle reached in his pocket and pulled out the pack, holding it out to Kate as an offering.

"Thanks, but you might want to hold onto that."

***CCC***

"That has to have been the strangest near-death experience ever," Kate commented after they had been rescued and were back in the safe haven of the Twelfth Precinct.

"For the record, though, if I ever have to be hitched to someone again, I wouldn't mind if it was you."

"Hitched?" Kate looked at Castle with a bemused expression.

"No, not hitched. Cuffed. I didn't mean hitched, colloquially or otherwise."

"It's okay, Castle. I know what you meant. And for what's it worth, if I ever have to be handcuffed to someone again, I wouldn't mind if it was you. Only next time, let's do it without the tiger," Kate picked up her motorcycle helmet.

"Next time? What do you mean next time?"

"Goodnight, Castle."

Castle watched her get on the elevator, the doors closing behind her. What did she mean next time? Was that an invitation? Technically they hadn't gone on three real dates. But he had also said that he was going to follow her lead.

He rubbed his wrist where the handcuff had been and tried to decide what to do. Worst case scenario, she could always tell him that she wasn't ready. He grabbed his jacket and got on the elevator.

***CCC***

After getting home, the first thing Kate did was strip out of her clothes and jump in the shower, allowing the hot water and soap scrub away the strange events of that day. She hadn't realized how long she and Castle had been in that room until after they were freed by Esposito and Ryan. They had stepped out into darkness. After getting her things back, she strapped her father's watch onto her wrist and noticed that it was close to eight o'clock. They had been in that basement for more than nine hours.

Getting out of the shower, Kate dried off and changed into a loose nightshirt and went into the living room. She had just grabbed a bottle of wine and was in the process of pouring herself a glass when she heard someone knock on her door. Putting the wine glass on the counter, she went to see who was at the door. Looking through the peep hole, she was surprised to find Castle standing on the other side. She unlocked the door and opened it. "Castle? What're you doing here?"

"I . . . was in the neighborhood."

"Lamest excuse ever," she rolled her eyes. "We spent all day handcuffed together. I would've thought that you'd be tired of me."

"I never tire of being around you. But if you want me to leave," he noticed for the first time what she was wearing. "Were you getting ready to go to bed?"

"No. I just like being comfortable. Come on in. I was about to have a glass of wine. Would you like one?"

"Yeah, that sounds great. I haven't been here in a few weeks."

"The last time you were here, we went ghost hunting."

"That was a fun night. Admit it. You know that you had fun that night."

"I had fun that night," she handed him a glass of wine and walked over to the sofa. "That night reminded me of something that Roy said right before . . . right before he was killed."

"What did he say?"

"After we argued that night, I went to the precinct. I told Roy that I wanted him to get rid of you. I was so pissed off, Castle."

"I remember."

"Roy told me that if I wanted you gone, then you were gone. He said that the main reason that he kept you around was he saw how good you were for me. He said that I wasn't having fun before you came along. He was right. I wasn't. It was like I had forgotten how to have fun. It was like because my mom had been murdered, that suddenly I wasn't allowed to laugh or be silly. Or play practical jokes on people."

"I miss him too, Kate. Every day."

"Today was scary, but it was nice learning little things about you that I never knew."

"Same here."

"Why are you here? Really? And don't say you were in the neighborhood. Like I said, lamest excuse ever."

"I just wanted to make sure that you were all right. There were times today when I wasn't sure we were going to get out alive."

"Me, too," she admitted, taking a sip of her wine. "Especially after you released the tiger."

"Hey, you helped put the hole in that wall," he pointed out. "We both released the beast."

"Yeah, we did. God, she was magnificent though, wasn't she?"

"When? When she first came through the hole, or when she was trying to jump up and eat us?"

"I just couldn't believe that a tiger was on the other side of that wall. I love big cats," she smiled.

"Yeah, they're beautiful. When they're on TV or behind a wall at the zoo. Not when they're inches away from me trying to eat my face off. Seriously though, I do have a question. When you were leaving, you said that you wouldn't mind being handcuffed to me again, but next time, without the tiger."

"I remember what I said, Castle."

Castle noticed that Kate's body language had changed in just one instant. Before she was light and carefree. Now she sounded guarded. "I know that we've said that we'll move forward at some point. I also said that I'll follow your lead. I can go if you want me to."

"That's just it, Castle," she put her wine glass on the table and turned so that she was facing him. "I don't know what I want. Wait, let me back up on that. I do know what I want. I'm just not sure if I'm ready."

"And that's okay. Does it hurt?" He pointed to the small, circular wound near her left breast.

"No," she looked down and pulled her nightshirt closed. "That's just it. They don't hurt. The lower one pulls when I move a certain way, but Josh cut so many nerves opening me up that day that the doctor said it could be years before I get any sensation to that area. Right now, it just feels ticklish when I touch it."

"I'm not a fan of Dr. Motorcycle Boy," he grinned when Kate rolled her eyes, "but I will always be grateful that he saved your life."

"Yeah, I'm kind of happy about that, too."

"Do you mind if I ask what happened?"

"I will fill you in after I ask you what happened the day I got shot."

"What do you mean? I told you that I love you, but you already know that."

"What happened between you and Josh? I saw the way the two of you looked at each other when you came to visit me that morning."

"He was upset."

"About what?'

"Obviously, he was upset about you getting shot in the middle of Roy's funeral. He accused me of making you look into your mother's murder. He said that I was the reason that Roy was dead, and I was the reason that you got shot. We then got into a shoving match. I think Alexis even got involved. The boys were about to jump in, but your father got into the middle of it and told us all that we were acting like a bunch of three-year-old's."

"That sounds like something my dad would say. I'm sorry, Castle. I wish I had known that he had said that."

"Your turn. What happened between the two of you?"

"It started before I got shot. I think that it started right after we came back from L.A."

"After Royce was killed?"

"Yeah. Castle, I don't understand what happened when we were in L.A., but when we got back, I felt different. I didn't think that I acted all that differently around Josh, but I guess I did. Because he got kind of . . . distant."

"You had lost a good friend."

"It didn't have anything to do with Royce's death. Mike left me a letter."

"Yeah, I remember Lanie giving it to you at the crime scene."

"Hold on, I'll go and get it."

Castle sat against the back of the couch while he waited for Kate to return with the letter from Mike Royce. There was a question that had been gnawing at his brain since that trip the previous spring. "Can I ask you a question?" He asked when Kate returned to the living room with a small square of folded up paper.

"Yeah."

"That night, in L.A., when we were talking . . . why did you get up and go to bed so suddenly?"

"Because I was afraid of where our conversation was leading. I might not have been happy with Josh, but I was in a relationship with him, and I didn't want to cheat on him. When I closed my door, I almost opened it and walked back out. I felt so conflicted, Castle. I did open the door, but you had just gone to your room. When I saw your door close, I was so relieved."

"Is that the letter?" He pointed to the paper in her hand.

"Yeah," she handed the pages over to Castle.

"I can tell that you've read it once or twice," he smiled, reading over the printing on the page. "He's right, you know," he looked at her after he'd finished reading. "Our hearts are why we're alive."

"Castle, what if it doesn't work out?"

"Beckett, what if it does? The way that I feel about you . . . I can honestly say that I've only felt that way toward one other woman and I was stupid enough to let her get away. I don't want to be that stupid ever again."

Tears filled Kate's eyes and made a trail down her cheekbones. She reached up and impatiently wiped them away. "I've never felt this way. Ever," she whispered. "Why am I so fucking scared?"

"It's okay to be scared," he reached up and brushed a stray tear away with his thumb. "You haven't let anyone see you since the shooting. You know that it's okay to be vulnerable. You don't have to be strong all the time. But you still haven't completely answered my question."

"Me and Josh?" He nodded. "He's a nice guy, Rick. A decent guy. Like I told you that night at the loft, his one failure was that he wasn't you. After I got shot, it was like . . . he seemed like he no longer knew how to be a partner to me. He was constantly nagging at me to be sure that I was doing everything that my doctors were telling me to do. I had a team of doctors to dictate orders to me. I needed him to be more."

"Was he angry?"

"That's just it. He wasn't. But I wasn't either. I called him up to the cabin and I was expecting this huge scene when I told him that we were through. Instead, he seemed relieved. And for some reason, it hurt. He asked me if you were in the picture."

"What did you tell him?"

"At that time, you weren't. I hadn't even talked to you since that morning in the hospital."

"You haven't seen him since you broke up?"

"I ran into him when I went for one of my check-up's. That was right after I came back to the city. We didn't have anything to say. I haven't seen him since that day. Do we have to talk about him, anymore? Because it feels weird talking about my ex when all I want right now is to be with you."

"We don't have to talk about him ever again," he grinned. "I was just wondering what happened. I didn't want him to hurt you."

"Are we done talking about him? Because it's kind of killing the mood."

"We don't have to talk about him, anymore." He leaned in closer and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "Kate?"

"Hmmm?" She hummed against his mouth.

"Can I touch it?"

Instead of answering, she reached down and took his hand, guiding it up to the small indentation between her breasts. Lightly pressing his fingers to it, he could feel the beating of her heart under his fingers. "The surgeon told me that you did save my life that day, Castle," Kate lightly kissed him again. "If you hadn't knocked me to the ground, the bullet would've done a lot more damage."

"I'm glad that my heroics actually were heroic."

"Come on," she stood up and held her hand out to him. "I want to get naked and horizontal. But not in here."

Castle suddenly lost the ability to think as he continued staring at Kate's outstretched hand. After several seconds, he finally managed to get enough blood back to his brain to comprehend her request. Lacing his fingers in hers, he let himself be pulled off the sofa and into her bedroom.

Kate walked over to her bedside and switched on a small lamp, throwing the room into soft light. She then walked over to Castle, and began unbuttoning his shirt, giving him a shy smile the whole time. "Now I wish I had hit the gym," he commented.

"I happen to like your body the way it is, Castle," she peeled his shirt down off his arms, instantly being stopped by the buttons on the cuffs.

"I've got these," he unfastened the tiny buttons and watched as his shirt fell to the floor. But he stopped Kate when she reached out to unbutton his slacks. "Kate, I haven't had sex in months. If you touch me right now, things are going to end before they get started."

"Okay, but I don't want to take things too slowly, Castle. I also haven't had sex in months, and I've been wanting sex for months."

She climbed up into the middle of her bed and motioned for him to follow her. "Before we get started, do we need protection?"

"I'm on the pill. But I have condoms if you want to be sure." She watched his face for several seconds, wondering what was going on inside of his head. "Castle, I'm not going to break. I was cleared for sex eight weeks after I got shot. I also don't bite," she took his hand and placed it back between her breasts, before grinning broadly, "unless you want me to. You can also move your hand." She kissed him once again. "Like I said, I won't break."

For a few seconds, Castle felt like he had forgotten how to do anything. Touching Kate, being with her, was like a dream. Kate moved back against the headboard of the bed, pulling him with her. Once she was comfortable, she unbuttoned her nightshirt down the front, allowing the material to fall away from her.

Castle almost stopped breathing when he saw that she was bare underneath the long shirt. "Wow," he finally breathed out.

"Stop acting like a lovestruck teenage boy and kiss me already," she pulled him down to her, her mouth opening under his, her tongue stroking the inside of his mouth.

Kate groaned into his mouth when she felt his fingers brush against her nipple. She had been dreaming of this moment since that night in L.A. Now it was finally coming true. "Castle," she gasped, when he left her mouth, his lips traveling down to her neck, gently nipping at the skin between her neck and her shoulder before going further south. She felt his lips lightly kissing the area between her breasts where an assassin's bullet had almost ended her life nearly a year earlier.

Castle couldn't get over how beautiful Kate was. She cried out and arched up against him when he brushed his lips over one nipple before taking it between his teeth and rapidly flicking his tongue over it before moving to the other breast and repeating the process. He felt her fingers wind into his hair, holding him close to her breasts. He could tell how aroused she was, and he hadn't even touched her anywhere else, yet.

Kate, meanwhile, was trying to remember how to breathe. She was torn between wanting Castle naked and inside of her or wanting him to continue what it was that he was doing. Because what he was doing felt so, so good. But she knew that he was going to see it. The other scar. The scar that she hated. "Castle?"

"Hmm?" His fingers were lightly blazing a trail down her torso when he felt it.

"Stop, Castle."

"It's okay," he moved back up her body, wrapping her in his arms. "We all have scars, Kate. This scar," he traced it again with his fingers, "is why you're still here. It's why we're here right now, being able to do this," he kissed her. "You're still beautiful. You're still you. Okay? Please say okay."

"Okay," she smiled.

"Now, are you okay with me . . . going where I'm going?"

"I'm torn. The minute that you put your mouth on me, I'm probably going to explode," they both grinned, "but I am curious to see what you can do with your mouth besides run it."

"I'll try not to disappoint you," he kissed her once again before kissing his way down her body.

Kate felt herself relax at the feel of Castle's hands and mouth trailing down her body. Feeling his hands on the insides of her knees, she could feel the anticipation building. "Oh, shit!" She screamed when she felt the first brush of his lips against her.

She felt like every muscle in her body was coiled like a spring. She needed release, she wanted release, but she also knew that she wanted him inside of her. "Castle, get the rest of your fucking clothes off! Now!"

Between the two of them, they managed to get Castle out of the remainder of his clothes. Kate then surprised Castle by pushing him over on his back and straddling his hips. He didn't think it was possible for him to get any harder when he felt Kate wrap her fingers around him before slowing sinking on top of him. He began thinking of state capitols, quantum physics, anything to keep from coming too soon. Reaching up, he pushed the opened nightshirt off Kate's shoulders, cupping both breasts in his hands as she continued to move on top of him.

At some point, Castle reached up and rolled them over, never missing a beat as he continued thrusting up into Kate's. "Castle, are you close?" She panted out the words.

"I . . . I was just waiting for you."

"I'm there," she grabbed his hand and moved it to where they were joined together. "Oh shit, Castle!"

Feeling her tighten around him was all that it took for Castle to come with a huge groan, collapsing onto Kate's shoulder, completely out of breath and unable to move. "I'll move as soon as the oxygen returns to my brain."

After another few minutes, Castle slowly moved off Kate, falling onto his back on the other side of the bed. Kate cuddled closer to his sweat-soaked body, kissing his neck and shoulder. "I need some time, but . . . we'll definitely be engaging in a . . . round . . . two."

"Are you expected back home tonight?"

"Mother and . . . and . . . "

"Alexis?" Kate prompted.

"Yeah, Alexis. They're out of town, remember?"

"I do remember. Stay, Castle?"

"Yeah, I'll stay."

"Good. Take a shower with me?" She got out of bed and extended her hand to him.

"I can't say no to that."

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