Malagasto gets inspected by the Italian education board for OSHA reasons. How large is the bribe going to have to be?

If you haven’t read @Starsteppers “There’s no place like home” I suggest you go read that before this. This is a two shot based off of that FanFiction. I do not own any characters or Alex Rider. Character limit 5,000.

Alex Rider is sick of people dying because of him, so he does the only thing he can-he becomes someone else. 19 year old Matthew Smith passes Selection and joins the SAS, but not everyone seems to appreciate his company...at first. Maybe these people he swore he wouldn't get close to will become the family he needs...unless his enemies are closer than he thinks. K-Unit and OCs!

An electronic remote for the newest supervillian device blows up. Right in front of Alex's salad! He knows that there is no way in hell this guy won't believe it's him.

MI6 never had a good track record when it came to Alex Rider. When his most recent mission goes predictably off the rails, it takes ten days without contact before anyone in London reacts. In retrospect, MI6 should probably have looked a little sooner. Or: Alex becomes an accidental supervillain. Mostly fluff by Alex Rider standards.

"Questions surround this week's tragic death of Alex Rider, 14, who plunged to their death from the forty-first floor of the Royal and General Bank today. As the tragic story unfolds, mystery surrounds the decisions..." (A more likely end to the flagpole scene, with Blunt making a massive mess out of the situation). Rated M for Gore. Warning: Major Character Death.

In one world, Cossack heard about Albert Bridge and looked the other way. In another, John Rider found a stray assassin on his doorstep. An AU told in snapshots for the Alex Rider Big Bang. Updates irregularly as real life allows.

Supervillian blind date where they destroy a city together to see how compatible they are as a couple. Hint: This does not turn out as well as Brendan Chase thought it would.

After a hard year with a poor ending, Alex Rider is starting to slow. Retired from 6 and living in foster care, he was starting to loose sight of the light of life. But maybe, all it takes to get back on track is the right people. The right family. Now with new content and (semi) regular updates.

A suit and a clipboard will get you a lot of places no questions asked. And there are accidents that need to be arranged.

Alex goes to a bar and somehow manages to join a D&D adventure group. Fuck this, fuck them, and fuck his life.

Alex accidentally acquired a fifty foot fire breathing snake named "Rainbow" that he set loose in a jungle. Suddenly, Rainbow decides to find him while he's at Malagasto.

Ian gets kidnapped by Scorpia on his way home from work and Dr Three is delighted at the opportunity to torture him.

"If you're calling to make death threats, please press 1. If you're calling to threaten my family, please press 2. If you need my address to send a letterbomb, press 3. For anything else, press 4 and leave a message after the tone." Alex has always given out his number to anyone that asks for it - terrorist, criminal, colleague, or random stranger. His life through voicemail.

Collection of one-shots for Febuwhump 2022.

Alex can make anyone confess to their crimes with a single touch. And once they stop, they just don't stop. They just keep confessing. That's what it means to be a confessor. Doctor Three has no idea what to make of his new student's ability to ruin an agent forever.

It's been a few months since Alex Rider was officially adopted by Ben and he's slowly healing. An idea to help take the next step in healing is decided but when it goes wrong, it threatens to undo all that hard work. While Alex fights to come up on top, he is faced with mutual friends, mutual enemies and mutual hatred. This will either be his damnation or his saviour. LOTD Sequal.

Alex was told that Australia was a hellhole. He doesn't get it - look at all of these animal friends he made!

Jack Starbright goes back in time, and Alex's future indeed looks brighter.

K-unit finds Alex on surveillance tapes after years of thinking he was dead. They launch a rescue mission but when they find him they worry he might just shatter. It will be a long road to recovery if it isn't too late.

Alex and Sabina finally have the chance to go on a date. Fluff! No explosions! Happy Unicorn Land!

Daniela, soon to be Mrs Harris, is finally meeting her fiancé's best friend. Let's just say he was probably the last person she was expecting to be the best man at her wedding... The first in a series of interconnected one-shots.

Alex is sent to a very, very, snooty boarding school with mandatory pets. He decides to pick the one that looks the most pathetic.

This is a collection of Alex Rider Drabbles based on one word prompts. The body of each work (excluding titles and the endnotes) is exactly 100 words. Each work is titled by the word prompt. Word prompts used: Genius, Flower, Tyrant, Ocean, Alexithymia.

The CIA doesn't have to do many collaborative operations with the home team. Which is probably good - the FBI has this thing called morality, which Joe has always thought is a bit overrated. But here they are asking, yet again, for some assistance. Joe thinks it's time to unleash his secret weapon: Alex Rider. If Alex can't manage to cause so much chaos that the FBI never wants...