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The rest of Easter Break passed by quickly enough. The boys were caught up in planning for their prank. They had to sweet talk the elves into baking enough cakes laced with the potion for everyone in Hogwarts to get one.
Remus suggested that they place a mild compulsion on the rune scheme to make certain everyone ate at least one bite of the tasty little Christmas tree shaped cakes with iced frosting pine needles and decorations. The little chocolate cakes covered in a deep chocolate ganache and layers of creamy milk chocolate frosting literally sparkled with sugar. They looked pretty irresistible, even without the compulsion.
Harry and Dudley carefully packed the picnic basket shoved full of treats into their trunk and prepared to return to school.
"If that Headmaster gives you any more grief, I want you to call me, straight away. I'll contact Lord Malfoy and demand immediate action!" thundered Vernon, the morning the boys were set to return to school.
Harry smiled with pride. His papa would really do it, too.
"I don't think you'll have to, papa. I think Lord Malfoy will be good to his word. You'll see. Something will be done about this. You've already taken care of it," Harry assured his father. Vernon puffed up with pride. The man looked rather fit now that he'd lost almost 8 stone (160 pounds). He was dressed in a finely cut suit, with shiny shoes, and gold and silver accoutrement that appeared everywhere it was seemly to allow.
Harry and Dudley looked much the same. Their fine trunks and fine suits made them look worthy of the fine car they were about to drive to the train station. Tonks and Andromeda would be joining them on their ride. This was Tonks' seventh and final year at Hogwarts. The girl was hoping to get into the Auror corps next year. Harry and Dudley thought she was crazy to want to take on such a dangerous and dirty job but they commended her for her effort. She really was doing all she could to prepare.
Betsy came into the room and announced Andromeda and Tonks.
"Mrs. Tonks and her daughter have arrived," said Betsy. She fussed over both boys and pushed another picnic basket with snacks for Harry, Dudley, and all their friends packed inside. The boys thanked her profusely and hurried to join Andromeda and Tonks in the entrance hall.
"There you lot are!" called Tonks, just as she tripped over nothing and fell into the wall. Vernon huffed at her clumsiness.
"We're ready. Goodbye, father. Until we meet again," said Harry, saluting his dad. Vernon laughed at the boy. Dudley bowed to Vernon.
"We'll see you in June, father. Stay well," Dudley said.
"You boys remember not to spend too much time indoors studying. A healthy boy needs time outside. Remember what I said about that Headmaster chap. I won't have him harassing you," said Vernon, seriously.
"We will, father. See you soon!" Harry called. With that, the children and Andromeda left Potter House.
The ride to the train station was filled with the hilarity that being around Tonks was prone to bring. She always had funny stories to share and she was clumsy as a clown. It was hilarious to watch, mostly because she was a great sport about it.
Tonks ditched the firsties when they got back on the train. Harry and Dudley continued on to their usual compartment, schmoozing and making small talk with their peers as they made their way down the train.
They finally got to the last train compartment, the compartment that had been claimed by the Dursley boys and their friends. They were just getting settled in with their own delicious cakes that the elves made just for them when there was a polite knock on the door.
"Come in," called Daphne. The door slid open and Draco Malfoy walked in, smiling.
"Hello everyone. I hope you had a lovely holiday," Draco said, nodding to each one in turn. They all smiled and returned the favor. Harry offered Draco one of the delicious cakes.
"My holiday was lovely. I hope yours was, too. If I may, I'd like to offer you this basket of treats from our elves. They are an token of gratitude for the assistance you gave me by providing an introduction to your father," said Harry, handing over a small basket with the delicious, intricately decorated cakes. There would be enough for Draco to share with his own friends and a good few for him to keep for himself, too.
Draco gladly accepted. "Thank you. This looks divine. If I may, how did the correspondence turn out? Father wouldn't tell me anything but he did drop a few hints that he might be stopping by Hogwarts in the next few weeks." Draco accepted a seat and a cake.
"My father sat down right away and we wrote a very detailed letter to your father," said Harry.
"It took us an entire evening to get it done right. Father was fuming by the time it was done," said Dudley, smugly. Draco smirked in return. He understood what it felt like to have your father stand up for you.
"Your father responded that he would look into the issue straight away! He also said he thought the Headmaster was too old to continue in power," said Harry, laughing. Draco laughed, as well.
"Father will take care of things. He got us tickets to a Wimbledon Wasps game for early July. He wanted to give us a few weeks to get settled after our school term. He's friendly with the owner's son. We got the top box for our use!" Draco boasted. The children were all very excited. Draco continued. "Father says we can meet the team before the game in the locker rooms. We'll be arriving two hours early to watch the warmups. We might even get a chance to fly with the team so bring your brooms!" The children were ecstatic after that.
"Our father extends his invitation to yourself, and all of you," Dudley said to Draco and the rest of Dudley's friends. "He's going to take us to the World Cup game in Glasgow this summer! He's going to get us a private box and we'll all ride together in the cars. He's going to get us a the best hotel suites available for two nights," said Dudley with pride.
Draco looked intrigued. "I'm assuming you don't mean the Quidditch World Cup, since your father doesn't know about magic?"
"No, it's the football World Cup. I think it'll be Britain versus Brazil. They've both brilliant teams this year," said Harry. He was rooting for Britain, but Brazil was his second favorite. He wouldn't mind to see either of them win.
Draco looked a little unsure for a moment before he took a deep breath and nodded. "I assume the Greengrasses will be in attendance? Would my own parents be welcome to attend?"
Harry grinned evilly. "Yes, I believe my Regent and her family will also be in attendance."
Draco laughed. "Perhaps just my mother will attend, then. My father might… exacerbate things. Best to let mother ease him back into the association. This sounds like a lovely little trick," said Draco, grinning.
"If you'd like we can ease the meeting. I was considering asking my Regent to correspond with your mother. I believe the lady of the house is in charge of the house elves, is that correct?" Harry asked.
"Yes, why?" Draco asked, confused.
"I would like to negotiate a trade. My godfather, Sirius Black, has a house elf that is unhappy with serving a nontraditional wizard. I understand you also have an elf that is unhappy?" Harry asked. Draco wrinkled his nose.
"Dobby," he said. Harry nodded.
"I think Dobby might enjoy working under Sirius while Kreacher would most definitely be happier serving a traditional family. What do you say?" Harry asked.
"I think it's a good idea. It'll give them a reason to reach out to one another," said Draco. Harry grinned at the agreement.
"Plus, it will make two beings happy. They deserve happiness," said Hermione, chidingly.
"Quite," agreed Harry. While Draco just rolled his eyes.
"Right, then. I should be getting back to my compartment. Crabbe and Goyle are waiting in the passageway outside. I just hope they haven't wandered off," said Draco, teasingly. The other students grinned. Draco felt responsible for the two somewhat slow boys. Their families had been allied since the Norman Invasion. Unfortunately, neither the Crabbe nor Goyle families believed in educating their children before Hogwarts. At all. Crabbe and Goyle didn't even know their alphabet before a year ago, when Narcissa insisted they join Draco for tutoring. Neither was a good reader to this day. It was a pity.
"We'll stop in to say hello to everyone later. Please, extend my thanks once again to your father," said Harry. He planned to gift Lucius something special if he was able to reign in the Headmaster.
The rest of the train ride went smoothly. Harry and Dudley made their usual rounds amongst their peers, making a special effort to tease Tonks when they came upon her and a bloke named Charlie Weasley obviously plotting something in a carriage towards the front of the train. Harry wondered what they were up to.
Before they knew it, they had arrived at Hogwarts. Harry and Dudley made sure to be in the first carriage heading back to school. They lost their friends, much to their friends' chagrin. It was for the best. Harry and Dudley snuck off into a side hallway and covered themselves with the invisibility cloak. They hurried off to the kitchens to make use of the friendships they had been cultivating with the elves for some time.
"Lord Harry Potter, sir. Heir Dursley Fineman, sir. What can Oddment be doing for you?" asked the helpful little elf that had been taking such good care of them all year long.
"Hello Oddment. I hope you had a lovely holiday," said Harry, carrying one picnic basket, while Dudley carried the other.
"Oddment is being having a wonderful rest, Lord Harry Potter, sir. Can Oddment be helping you?"
"Yes, please. First, we'd like to offer you a gift," said Harry, waving his hand to Dudley. Dudley grinned and handed over the first basket. Fizzy sodas and Ho-Hos were a delicacy for house elves. Harry and Dudley had brought enough for each elf to have two sodas and a box of Ho-Hos each. It had taken a special order from the grocery store to make sure they'd have enough. There were over 300 elves at Hogwarts. The boys thought the goodwill they would build with the gift was worth its weight in pounds. Especially since they both had more than enough galleons to last them a lifetime.
Oddment squealed in joy. Harry grinned.
"There's a six pack of cola, two boxes of Ho-Hos, and a new Italian cookbook in there for you. Then, there's enough for all the elves to get two sodas and one box of Ho-Hos each," said Dudley, benevolently.
Oddment looked up with a grin of happiness on his face. It wasn't just the treats that he appreciated. These students were some of the few to ever thank the house elves for their hard work.
"Oddment will be telling all the elves and will be sharing all the treats this evening after dinner. Thank you, on behalf of all of us. The Hogywarts elves be appreciating your thanks and the treats!"
"The pleasure and appreciation are ours. We wouldn't be nearly so comfortable and well cared for without all the hard work the elves do, especially you, Oddment," said Harry, sincerely. All the elves heard. The weeping afterwards was somewhat distracting. Harry got them all to calm down quickly enough.
"We had hoped you'd help us with something? We wanted to give a gift to our fellow students and the staff as well. Would you mind giving these cakes to all the students and staff after dinner tomorrow night? We'd really appreciate it if you would," Harry wheedled.
Oddment oohed and aahed over the gorgeous cakes. He smelled the potion in the cakes but he could also tell it was harmless. He looked to the elves and they all grinned mischievously. It was settled.
"We will be doing it, Mr. Harry Potter, sir," said Oddment, gleefully. The boys thanked the elves again for all their hard work and for their help, then they slipped back into the Great Hall, just as the last groups of students were coming in and settling into their seats.
"What happened to you two?" whispered Daphne. Harry and Dudley just grinned at one another and deflected the question.
"We had a quick errand to run. Nothing to worry about. Please, forgive me for abandoning my ladies," Harry said, smoothly, kissing both girls' hands. They giggled and let the matter drop. The Headmaster made some drivel of a speech and the food was served. Everyone ate heartily before heading off to their dormitories. Harry's friend group settled into Harry's room.
"I found some interesting information about the Flamels over the break," announced Blaise. "My grandfather does business with the great, great, great grandaughter of Perenelle Flamel. He said that she said that her grandmere is on expedition in Antarctica and won't return until the first week in June." The children looked at one another gravely.
"Even if we write to them, it's unlikely the stone will still be there by the time they return," said Tracy. Everyone agreed.
"I still think we should write to them. It's a good back up plan and will alert them to what's going on, no matter what," said Hemione.
"Couldn't hurt anything," agreed Blaise. "If we write a letter, I can send it through my grandfather. The Flamels are somewhat responsive to students."
"I think we should still plan to retrieve the stone ourselves. The sooner the better. I retrieved something from my vault that should help," said Harry. He rifled around in his mokeskin bag for a moment, then pulled out a velvet jewel bag.
He carefully opened the bag and let a stone roll out onto his hand. The students could feel the power flowing off of the stone.
"What is it?" asked Daphne, amazed.
"It's a faux philosopher's stone. One of Sirius' ancestors had it made to trick his enemy into relieving him of his debts. It didn't work. Sirius' ancestor was cursed with a dark curse that caused him to slowly mummify over the course of about two months. It was horrific," said Harry, fascinated with the real-life horror. The girls gagged at the very thought.
"It looks so real. Almost exactly like what the book describes. Only the color of the radiant light is slightly more mauve than the golden color the books describe," said Hermione.
"I think it will trick whoever stole the stone in the first place, at least for a little while," said Harry, putting the stone back in the bag.
"Let's plan to go next weekend," said Harry, seriously. The other students gulped but nodded. They were all in this together.
The students studied together in preparation for their classes tomorrow before they all started drifting off to their own rooms. By midnight, only Harry and Dudley were left in Harry's room.
"Ready?" Harry asked, in anticipation. Dudley agreed, a manic grin on his face. They both slid under the invisibility cloak and headed for the common room door. They were outside quick enough and headed towards the Great Hall. They had just finished installing the last rune scheme disk when they heard the Great Hall doors bang open. They scrambled under the cloak just in time. Hagrid strode into the room, looking like he was trying to be quiet. He was carrying a few huge armloads of firewood. He stomped out the front doors and headed down to his hut. Harry and Dudley could see a huge fire roaring in the hut. The whole interior of the building was lit up with it.
Harry and Dudley looked at one another and shrugged. They hurried back up to their dormitory and went to sleep. Classes would come early the next day and they'd need to get as much sleep as they could.
oooOOOoooOOOooo
The next day, classes seemed to drag on. The group went back to their common room to go to Harry's room and meet with Remus until dinner time. Harry and Dudley could barely focus.
"Alright, you two. What are you up to?" demanded Daphne, with her hands on her hips.
"Who? Us?" asked Harry and Dudley. Now Hermione looked suspicious, too.
"Yes, you. Both of you," said Hermione.
"Enough of that. I can see that your usual classwork won't keep you engaged today. What say you we learn some more about runes instead?" asked Remus. The children cheered. Remus lectured about the intricacies of using potions in conjunction with runes. Harry and Dudley could barely keep their sniggers in.
Soon enough, it was dinner time. Remus ushered them away and headed back to the place he shared with Sirius. He wished he could stay to see how the prank turned out.
Dinner went by quite normally. Desert appeared, with fancy treats for a Tuesday evening. Everyone had a small, green Christmas tree on their plate. It sparkled with sugar and was packed with iced sugar decorations and pine needles. The entire hall oohed and ahhed over the sight and smell of the treats. One and all took a bite of their treat. Many ate the entire, delicious morsel and wished they had more. About a minute after that first, decadent bite, the entire hall suddenly filled up with the kind of mist that comes from hot breath in cold air.
"What's this?" boomed Dumbledore. That's when the music started.
Everyone's clothes changed into Whoville character clothes, except for the Headmaster and Professors Snape and McGonagall. Snape and McGonagall were suddenly dressed in dog costumes with large branches tied to their heads and red, round clown noses covering their own. The Headmaster was suddenly dressed in short red robes that looked like a Santa Clause suit without the trousers. His hair, skin, and beard were brilliant green. His shoes were large, red, curled, and had bells on them that jingled while he danced. He looked like a fool.
All the students and staff sang as Dumbledore danced. "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You really are a heel…"
It was a wonderful bit of chaos. At the end of the song, a firework exploded with the words, "Courtesy of the New Marauders," written in vibrant red and green lights sparkled on the wall for the next half an hour.
The Headmaster was furious. "Detention! For all of you! How dare you laugh at the humiliation of a professor!"
Unfortunately for him, no one could hear him over the gales of laughter and repeat of the song now that the compulsion was over. The Whoville hair and wardrobe would last for the next hour. All the students were delighted. The Headmaster stomped off to his rooms to sulk.
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