A/N: Someone asked me the timing of this fic, and while I don't have it absolutely set in stone (see the show, particularity the vs the Baby episode for how they didn't either) From the Expendables: Ladies Night premier, until Sarah and Chuck met for reals, is a little over three years. From that time to when you are seeing this documentary is four, four and a half, or possibly even five years. Confused? Try writing it on posting it on the fly. Hang with me this chapter, you need a touch more back story, and then…hehehehehehe.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

The camera fades in. Chuck and Sarah are sitting side by side in the interview area. They are both grinning. The producer speaks. "Cole seems to be an issue." Chuck begins to laugh and Sarah shakes her head, giggles, and swats him on the shoulder. "I seem to be missing something."

Chuck and Sarah share a look and Sarah sighs. "Well…"

}o{

London, while shooting the TV series 24

Sarah was sitting at a booth by herself, her phone in her hand, her mind a million miles away. She was looking at the pictures her mom had sent her. Sarah smiled at the picture of Molly with her aunt and uncle, the people she was living with now.

Sarah knew she should be having fun. She was at a Keifer Sutherland party, and it was as epic as she had heard they would be. She had been forced to fly out from the US quickly. She had been shooting a crazy schedule, and she was tired. She had been looking forward to Ellie's party, a normal party. Not a Hollywood party, but a chance to meet real people who did real meaningful things.

She kept thinking about how to have a normal life, and wondered how. How, with three AM call times some times? How, with being out of the country? How, with having to go to so many different events? What normal person would want be with someone like her?

She looked down at Ellie's phone number, and again, thought about sending Ellie an apology text that explained what had happened, and why she had missed the party.

She closed the text message and pulled up Molly's picture again. Sarah looked around, saw no one paying any attention to her, and pulled up the picture she kept on her phone. She sat there, looking at her friend, Zondra, and Zondra's best friend, Chuck.

Every time she thought about a normal life, her mind kept envisioning her with Chuck. Zondra had told Sarah so much about him during the shooting of Expendables: Ladies Night. Zondra told stories of Chuck and everything he did. Zondra told about how proud he was of her, and constantly celebrated her successes and never felt felt threatened by any accolades Zondra won.

Sarah found herself running a finger over his dress shirt and wondering what would life be like…a normal life…with him. She knew he had issues. Hell, deep down, everyone had issues. She kept thinking about her ultimate goal in the industry and how someone like Chuck would probably do all he could to help her succeed…but at what cost to him?

Sarah put away the photo, and pulled up Ellie's information to text her. She typed in a message and prepared to hit send, but her thumb hovered there, unable to hit it.

"I'm not sure why the most beautiful woman in this place looks so upset, but surely it's not that bad, is it?" Sarah looked up and saw Cole Barker, film and screen star. "May I?" he asked, gesturing to the seat across from her.

"Go ahead, but from what you're saying I'm probably not good company," Sarah replied. Cole sat and studied her for a moment. "Before you even begin with some tired line about me having sex with you would make me feel better, forget it."

"I wasn't," Cole said, raising his hands. Sarah tilted her head and gave him a look. Cole chuckled. "Okay, maybe I was going to, but can you blame me?" Sarah shook her head. "What's wrong, seriously? You are one of the most famous people on this planet."

"Maybe that's the problem," Sarah said with a shrug. "You ever think about having a normal life, one that doesn't have all the glitz and glam and lets you be with someone that cares about you, for you?"

Cole stared at her for a moment. "No," he said, brokering no arguments with the tone of his voice. "Why in the hell would I ever want that? Why would you?" Sarah shook her head. "No, wait, hear me out, Love. What you aren't getting is, we are set for life. Yes, there's a price to pay, but we put in the work, we put in the hours." He was silent a second. "We have earned this."

"Maybe," Sarah said with a shrug.

"Listen, we only have so long in this industry, you know that," Cole continued. Sarah nodded. "We get this, and then…then one day, when no one wants us in the industry, we can find what you're talking about. But until then, we don't have to be lonely. We have each other, and people like us."

"But everyone here is so superficial and out for themselves," Sarah countered.

"And you're not doing this for a reason?"

Sarah couldn't argue that. She had taken this job for a reason, it paid well. It increased her value. She wasn't crazy about the hours, the physical strain on her body, but it moved her closer to her ultimate plan.

"Sarah…Love…" she looked up at him. "Sorry, just a term we use." She nodded, understanding since she sometimes used terms from Australia others didn't. "You're here, for a while, right?" Sarah nodded. "Why don't you enjoy yourself? You have worked hard and earned it."

"What if I want out?" Sarah asked.

"How about this? While you're here, let me show you around and you enjoy the fruits of your labor."

Sarah gave him a look. "And what do you get out of it?"

"Your company," Cole said. He grinned. "Annndd, if you should decide you want more…wellll." Sarah shook her head. "You're not built for that life, Sarah."

She wasn't. He was right about that. She did love what she did, and while she wished sometimes she had someone like her mom and dad did, she didn't need anyone. She pulled up Ellie's contact and stared at it.

"Listen, when you go back, you can decide then if you want a change," Cole told her. "But until then, maybe you should look at what you have, not what you don't have."

She didn't know if was because she was so tired, both mentally and physically. She didn't know if it was because she was tired of being alone, but what he was saying was making a lot of sense.

"What do you have waiting for you, a boyfriend?" Sarah shook her head. "Then let's have some fun." Sarah stared at him. "I'm not saying sex, I'm saying let's party."

"Okay," Sarah said, and erased the message she was going to send Ellie. She scooted out of the booth. "Come on, let's dance."

}o{

The smile was gone from Chuck's face as Sarah finished telling the story. The producer spoke. "That story bother you, Chuck?"

"Absolutely," Chuck replied. Sarah gave him a soft smile. "But, let me explain, not in a me Tarzan, you Jane, Sarah is my girl kind of way. More in the, that feeling, of loneliness…that feeling of there can be more, and she couldn't enjoy it because of who she was and worrying how someone would react to the industry lifestyle-"

"You," Sarah cut in, making Chuck turn to her, a little shocked. "I was worried about you, and you only…if I'm being one hundred percent honest."

The producer speaks. "Wait, are you saying even then you were in love with Chuck?"

Sarah was silent for a second. "I can admit I was in love with the idea of the man Chuck seemed to be, but I'm still not sure I believed he was real," Sarah replied. "I can admit that I was probably in love with him by the time I left his office that day we first met for real. I can admit I thought about asking Zondra about how to contact him so many times, but I couldn't do that to him."

"It was my decision," he muttered. She looked over at him, and grinned. He shrugged. "Well, it was."

"It was," Sarah admitted. "It was your decision to decide if you could live with it all, but I worried you would try, and it wouldn't work, and that might really have hurt you." She held his gaze. "I couldn't hurt you, Chuck," she said softly.

The producer cleared his throat and the two turned toward the camera, like two people caught red-handed. "So you never had any moments like that Chuck?" Chuck looked away while Sarah laughed, and shoulder-bumped him.

}o{

The night the two talked at the beach, Chuck's apartment.

Chuck opened the door of his apartment, walked in, and hung his messenger bag on the hook beside the door. He was physically exhausted from the toll the anxiety attack had taken on his body. He walked over to the couch, and slumped onto it. He was hungry, but moving required energy, and right now, he had none to spare.

He had been replaying the events of the day in his head, over and over, trying to figure out what exactly had happened. Sarah Walker knew who he was, and seemed to care about him. That threw him for a loop. He knew that actors were human beings…now some chose to act as more than human, but that didn't make them so.

He looked at his laptop, shook his head, reached over, and grabbed it. He opened up the laptop and went to the icon on his desktop labeled, Pictures from Morgan. It was a shortcut to the dropbox the two shared. Morgan was forever putting pictures of Sarah Walker in it he had found on social media. Chuck clicked on the one that he opened often.

It was the one from the opening night of The Expendables: Ladies Night. Sarah was there, with her best friend, Mark. Chuck had learned weeks later that the two had become friends in Australia at a very young age. Mark had come to the United States and was now one of the leading photographers in the industry.

Chuck stared at the picture of Sarah Walker in the salmon dress she had worn to the premier. He sat back on the couch, and sighed. He had always thought she was beautiful. He had always thought she was kind. He had no idea, until today, how truly beautiful, wonderful, and kind she was. "I can't fall in love with Sarah Walker," he said softly. "I just can't." He was right. He couldn't. He already had.

}o{

Across town at Paussie Productions, Sarah sat in her office, thinking, when the door to her office opened. She looked up, and smiled. "What a beautiful sight," she said.

"You talking about me or the Belvedere Vodka, with just a splash of grapefruit juice?" Zondra asked her, carrying in the two drinks.

"Why can't it be both?" Sarah asked.

"Why not," Zondra agreed, handing Sarah the glass. They clinked their glasses together, and took a drink. Both sighed, and for a second it was like their troubles had been washed away. "Hey, thank you," Zondra said softly.

"For what?" Sarah asked.

Zondra tilted her head and gave her friend a look. "Chuck," she told her. Sarah shrugged. "Right, got it," Zondra said. "I'm out of here, I'll see you in the morning."

Zondra reached the door, when she heard her friend speak, and Sarah's voice stunned her. Zondra had never heard the timidness that came out of Sarah's mouth. "He really is that good of a guy, isn't he?"

Zondra turned, a smirk on her face. The smirk changed to a soft smile when she saw Sarah's face. "Oh, Sar," Zondra said softly.

"I can't do it to him," Sarah blurted out. "I can't put him through that kind of lifestyle that I live. It's not fair to anyone. I'm here one day, gone the next."

"Sarah," Zondra cut in. "Why are you making choices for other people?" Sarah pulled her chin back. "Isn't what your significant other is willing to do their business?"

"Okay, let's say it was someone that had anxiety issues," Sarah began.

"Go on," Zondra encouraged her.

"And let's say I did what you suggested, and it didn't work out, wouldn't that hurt him even worse?" Sarah asked.

"Maybe," Zondra agreed. "But you do know that by making decisions for someone else, your actually feeding into their anxiety that they aren't good enough for someone." Sarah's eyes went wide. Zondra started to continue when her phone rang. "Hang on," Zondra said and looked at the screen. "I have to take this."

"Hello?" Zondra answered. "I am. She is. What? Are you serious?" Zondra looked at Sarah. "Wait, she's where?" Zondra couldn't take her eyes off of Sarah. "Yes, Graham, let her in, I don't think you can stop her. I understand that you're a foot taller, but I don't think you can stop her." Zondra nodded, thought the person she was talking to couldn't see. "We'll see her in a minute."

"What is going on?" Sarah asked, standing up.

"Well," Zondra began, but stopped speaking as there was a sharp knock on the door. "I'm sorry, Sarah." Zondra walked over and opened the office door. Sarah winced as she saw who was standing there.

"Hello, Ellie," Sarah said softly.

"Sarah," Ellie said, walking in. "What in the hell are you doing to my family!?"

}o{

The camera cuts to Zondra sitting in the interview chair wincing. "I mean…she did raise him," Zondra said with a shrug." She shook her head. "Sarah did ghost her."

A/N: Welp…..you KNEW this was coming. Next time:

"I'm sorry," Sarah said. Ellie turned to look at Sarah as did Zondra. Sarah held her head up, and looked Ellie right in the eye. "I got offered a part in 24 and I couldn't pass it up Ellie. It gave me more exposure, more money, more clout to chase my dream." She was silent a second. "And more damn loneliness." Ellie's expression didn't change but her head tilted ever so slightly to the side.

Sarah continued. "I was working six days a week. Ten to fourteen hour days, and all I could think about was Molly, you and your party, and, I didn't know it at the time, your brother."

*Turns to camera, smiles, and sips tea.* Ain't I a stinker. See you soon. Tell those you love them, you love them. Take care of yourselves.