Crosspossted from AO3, with some notes missing.

Hope you enjoy.

Secrets of the Soul Spiral

Chapter IV

Old Gifts and Forgotten Memories

Uzumaki

I leaped forward, placing my palms on the shoulders of my opponent, and vaulting forward. As my jump reached the highest point, I stood on my hands, entirely upside down. Then, on the way down, I tried to deliver a killing blow to the back of the opponent's neck.

The kunai slid off the wooden enemy instead of biting in, and that was enough to throw me off balance.

I still nailed the landing.

Mostly.

Actually... not at all.

My feet slipped, and I landed face-first into the ground.

There was a loud barking laughter that revealed someone had seen my disastrous attack and fall.

I groaned into the grass and ran through the failure in my head - what I was doing wrong? At the same time I tried to pretend that I was just having a short rest on the ground, maybe the onlooker would get bored and go away.

Instead, the laughter was approaching me, so I leaped up into a slight crouch, turning towards the-

It was only Kiba.

No danger there.

He must have sneaked into the academy training ground without me noticing. His nose was slightly scrunched up and in between trying to contain his laughter he kept sniffing the air.

I grimaced and turned my back to him, returning my attention to the training dummy.

"Sorry," Kiba shouted out, still a short distance away. He had, at least, ceased with the sniggering. "Thought you were someone else for a moment, don't mind me."

Instead of bothering to reply, I leaped forward. I misjudged my center of gravity once again and one of my hands slipped just as I was right over the wooden opponent's shoulders. I slipped and crashed awkwardly to the ground.

I closed my eyes and sighed, without getting up.

There was but a single barked guffaw this time. "You alright?"

When I opened my eyes, Kiba was uncomfortably close, sniffing intensively, scrunching his nose... Then, he seemed to come to some sort of conclusion and he grinned, baring his fanged teeth.

He was still very much in my face.

"What?" I grumbled annoyed, staring into the narrow pupils of his eyes, and then sliding my gaze downward. I noticed that Kiba was wearing more layers than the weather called for, having donned a zip-up jacket, and there was a strange moving lump there, some creature snuggled close to his chest.

"Nothing," Kiba said, and leaned back, straightening up. Then, he offered me a hand to help me get up. "Wanted to help."

I ignored his offer. Instead I pulled my legs closer and then threw them forward to leap up by myself without using my hands. The motion was smooth enough to leave me feeling smug and satisfied.

But with the two falls he just witnessed, one decent jump wasn't enough to repair my reputation.

Kiba didn't look in any way insulted that I didn't take his hand. "Name's Kiba," he said casually, putting his right hand in the pocket of his jacket. With his left hand he unzipped the top of the jacket, revealing a curious face of a tiny white puppy. "And this here is Akamaru."

I couldn't help but grin back as I saw the adorable dark snout! I knew that Kiba was supposed to get a nin-dog soon, that was all he talked about the last few weeks, but I didn't know he actually got one already.

"What's your name? You're Ino and Sakura's friend, right?" Kiba barreled on. "Which class are you in?"

I laughed awkwardly. I didn't know how to do this. Kiba was a friend, but at the same time...

"I'm Haruko," I finally said, looking at the white pup, and deliberately not answering the question about my class. "Can I pet Akamaru?"

He considered it. "Sure. Nice to meet you, Haruko-chan."

Akamaru was very soft.

His nose was slightly wet and very warm.

"Akamaru seems to like you," Kiba said and chuckled. "Fond of dogs, but I don't smell any on you?"

I blinked. I had been completely lost with the feeling of the soft fur on my fingers, to the point that the world ceased to exist for a few minutes - and Kiba obviously noticed.

I felt my cheeks burning slightly, but tried to ignore it. "My family had a huge black hound when I was a baby," I said as a way of explaining myself. "I miss him a lot, but I barely remember what he looked like."

"Nin-dog?" Kiba asked. "Or civilian?"

"You know, I never gave it much thought," I said and scratched at my cheek. "Probably a nin-dog, yeah. He had a few scars and was very smart."

"Cool."

There was a short pause, during which I continued petting Akamaru's head very softly. He was very tiny. And soft.

"So-," Kiba began slowly. "What's with the weird training you've got going there, Haruko-chan?"

"Ah- that," I mumbled. "Working out kinks from a jutsu."

"Clan secret?" Kiba raised a questioning eyebrow. He seemed prepared to drop the topic if it was.

"Not really," I said and rubbed at the back of my head, shuffling awkwardly. Suddenly, having stood this close to Kiba for such a long time felt a bit unusual. Kiba wasn't this mellow with me as Naruto, he'd be gettin in my face, yes, but there would be a sort of competitiveness there that was suspiciously absent now. Maybe that was because he was taking care of a puppy?

Akamaru let out some strange weak noise that was almost a bark. Ah, I had stopped petting him. I returned my hand to rest on his white head, and patted him softly.

"When I change my height with the Transformation technique, it can mess up my center of gravity," I revealed with a sigh. "I'm trying to fix it."

Kiba frowned. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Transformation jutsu," I repeated, and to drive my point home, formed a Ram seal with my hands and shifted the color of my hair to be a few shades lighter. Then, without releasing the seal I reduced my height slightly, to what I was most comfortable with.

Keeping my height the same as Naruto didn't come naturally, because by the point I realized I should do it, I had let a small height difference build up, and now I found that trying to break the habit left me with a slightly unstable balance.

I would have to re-learn some tricks each time I fiddled with my height. So that was what I was working on - experimenting with different heights.

Kiba was only very slightly higher than my Naruto disguise (and that was mostly his hair), and today, I was the one looking down on him. Until I changed back to the usual Haruko-height.

Kiba was looking at me intently, and I could see the gears turning in his head. I knew what was going to happen. He didn't say it yet, but I was already bracing for the inevitable short-size jokes. A devious grin appeared on his face.

To stop the teasing before it began, I needed to show off. I pulled at my eyelid, flashed him the tip of my tongue and dashed towards the training dummy.

What followed wasn't my best performance, but I still managed to complete the jump on top of the dummy's shoulders, nailed the stab into the target's neck, and landed in a crouch, ready to move again. "See? I can do this normally."

"Yeah! Looks cool enough," Kiba said and then sniggered. "Would never work against anything more mobile than a wooden dummy," he added.

"Wanna bet, dog-breath?" I challenged him.

"Bring it on, short-stuff," he puffed out his chest.

There it was. I tried not to groan.

"Fancy a spar?" Kiba asked. "Akamaru could be our judge. I won't go easy on you just because you're a girl."

"Just for that, I'm kicking your butt twice," I said and grinned in what I hoped was a vicious looking grin.

As soon as Akamaru was placed on the sidelines, huddled safely in a bundle created from Kiba's jacket, we began. Akamaru watched on, excited.

Uzumaki

"You're late," Sakura-chan said, slightly annoyed, and then did a double take at my face. "What happened to you, Naruto?" she hissed out. "Do you even know how you look?"

"I won," I said and flashed her a V-sign, trying to suppress the wince caused by her disapproval. "So I assume I look awesome!"

Sakura-chan slapped her palm onto her face and groaned. "This is so stupid," she said. "Why did I-"

"I'm sorry, Sakura-chan." I bowed my head quickly. "My training went too long, and I ran here, so I didn't have time to stop and check. Is it that visible? Kiba said-"

"You've got a black eye, like a panda," Sakura-chan interrupted and pointed at my left eye. She squinted and leaned closer. "And there's a... bite mark on your shoulder. You've got a few scratches and bruises too, but they're not from today, right?"

I shrugged.

"I've been training, Sakura-chan," I complained. "It's nothing serious, and it's going to heal up soon."

"I don't understand you..." Sakura huffed. "You play at being kunoichi, but you have such disregard for your appearance!"

I shifted my gaze downwards. "I'm not playing," I muttered under my breath.

"What was that?" Sakura asked, still a bit annoyed. "Do you plan to look like this when we're browsing the shops, too?"

I looked up, my eyes narrow and my cheeks burning. "What are you saying?" I demanded, suddenly annoyed and acutely aware of my own heartbeat. My throat felt dry.

"Bruises fit boys more- Maybe you could-" Sakura stopped mid-suggestion and took a step back. She must have noticed how I almost flinched at the suggestion. "Could you hide the bruises instead?"

"Half of the shops won't even allow Naruto in," I all but growled out. Had Ino been around, she would have known how to defuse this, but at the time I didn't know what I should do. "Even if they did, I wouldn't want to go as Naruto."

Sakura bit at her lip awkwardly. It was clear she wanted to say something, but didn't want the situation to escalate.

I took a deep breath, forming a Rat hand-seal.

"I can do this - Haruko's Infinite Wardrobe jutsu," I announced, and with a short puff of smoke, most of my injuries appeared covered with colorful band-aids, and I got a fake bandage wrapping around my shoulders, to hide the bite. I did nothing about the black-eye. Partially because hiding injuries with a Transformation did not help with their healing, and partially because I wanted to make a point.

Sakura opened her mouth and closed it again

"That's better?" I asked, daring her to say something.

Sakura sighed. "It's fine."

I grumbled.

"Let's just do this," Sakura said and straightened herself. "Which shop first? You said you had an idea for Shikamaru, right? He's the hardest of the three for me to pick something for."

I took a deep breath. Closed my eyes, forced a smile and opened them up again. My left eye itched, but I ignored it.

"There's a small oddities shop right around the corner there," I said and pointed. My heartbeat was still loud, but I tried to keep calm. "It should still have the foreign shogi game that we could get for Shikamaru." It was a bit too pricey for me to buy alone, but splitting the price with Sakura would fit perfectly with our budget.

"Alright! Let's see what you think the lazybones will like," she said and started moving.

I took another longer breath and followed. We hadn't spent any time alone since Sakura realized I had to play Naruto when attending our Academy classes, and this was already different from how I'd hoped for it to go.

I could see she was unusually tense, too.

"The shop belongs to Yuriko-san," I started a harmless gossip going, just to keep the awkward silence at bay. "She's a Yamanaka by marriage, and I think she went through the academy but didn't graduate. Instead, she returned to civilian business. I never got the full story."

Sakura nodded, but said nothing.

"I think she married her classmate from the academy, but her husband isn't around anymore," I continued. "Their son is a couple of years ahead of us in the academy. He's sometimes helping with the shop. I think you'd like him - he's got very dark eyes, almost like Sasuke's, but his hair is very clearly Yamanaka-yellow."

"Oh?" Sakura sounded only vaguely interested and even that was only because I played the Sasuke card. "He's your friend, Naruto? What's his name?"

I winced, and rubbed at the back of my head. "More of an acquaintance. We actually barely know each other. His name was short, but I forgot it, so I just call him Yamanaka-senpai all the time," I mumbled quickly. "Maybe Ioya- or Ito? Iyo?"

Neither felt exactly correct, but I knew I was close.

Sakura shrugged.

"I think it's something very similar, at least," I added and gave up. "Sorry."

I pointed at the small entrance on the side of the street, with but a few markings above the door instead of a full blown sign.

"We're here," I said, and hesitated.

I was unsure how Sakura and Yamanaka-san would get along with me there, and if Sakura kept calling me Naruto, things could get even more awkward.

I was starting to hope he wouldn't be the one minding the shop today. But since our academy classes were long over for the day, his must have been too. It was likely he'd be around. I sighed. "Could you maybe call me Haruko while we're inside?"

"I don't think I've ever been on this street," Sakura said almost at the same time with my question. She nodded slightly in acknowledgement. "I'll play along with your disguise as long as you're not going to pull anything."

"I'm not playing," I reassured her and pushed the door open.

A bell echoed in the cramped spaces of the shop. The scent of old books and woodwork jumped at us. It was rather dark, as only a small narrow window let in the light from the street, and the single artificial light was only strong enough to light up the shop's counter.

I had never noticed it before, but there was a similar echo of dream-world memories that I've felt in the Yamanaka shrine with Ino, so maybe the bell or the shops' scents had something about their choice, too.

Behind the counter, a bored academy student was leafing through a foreign-looking book. As the bell rang, he raised his coal-dark eyes towards us and a smile appeared on his face. "Haruko-chan!" he said cheerfully, brushing a few bright hairs away from his narrow face. "And you brought a friend!"

I grinned back. Maybe this was going to be alright, after all.

"Nice to see you too, Senpai," I said. "You're the sole shinobi in the field today?"

"Yeah, mum is out on errands," Yamanaka-san said. "Going to introduce us? It's not often that pretty kunoichi grace the doom and gloom of our shop with their presence." And he winked, looking right at me. "It's nice to see you're training hard, but please be careful, Haruko-chan. Protect your cute face for the sake of everyone," he joked.

I felt my ears burning, mostly because I was acutely aware of how Sakura was frozen in place with that awful compliment.

"Yamanaka-senpai, this is Sakura," I said quickly. "We're in the same year of the Academy. We're going to browse a bit, if that's alright?"

"Nice to meet you, Sakura," he said and nodded his head toward Sakura before turning his attention back to me. He didn't even say his own name, like I expected him to. "Are you looking for something specific today, Haruko-chan?"

"Wanted to check out the foreign shogi set again - is it still here? We might browse other things a bit, too," I said and glanced at Sakura. "We might find something for Shikako or Ino in the journals' section, but they don't feel like a full gift should... Maybe if that's a part of a bigger gift..."

Yamanaka-san got up and strolled towards one of the dustier corners of the shop. Noticing slight confusion from Sakura, he gave us the abridged tour.

"These here are all of our books from outside the Fire Country," he pointed at the biggest bookshelf.

Most of these books were marked with foreign kanji, but a handful used the same ones as we did, and didn't look too impossible to read. If you liked that sort of thing.

The academy had classes that covered the different dialects and even foreign language basics, but I wasn't great at it. Ino was, perhaps, the best out of the four of us with the languages of Elemental Nations, so maybe a foreign book could be a potencial gift for her?

Sakura didn't look too interested, so I didn't even suggest it.

"Next to that there's a miscellaneous section of stuff from all over elemental nations," Yamanaka-san said.

There were little bells, small dolls, a box with postcards, a couple cassette records without a player, a small selection of unusually shaped kunai and an impressive section of colorful jewelry.

"When you graduate, Haruko-chan, feel free to bring your mission keepsakes here, I'll get you a fair deal," he said, towering over me and Sakura. He was quite lean and tall for his age, a good head taller than Sakura, and I was lagging behind a drop more.

Sakura swallowed audibly, and her cheeks were burning bright, visible even in low light. She looked like she wanted to say something, but was still restraining herself.

"That box in the corner is still unsorted, mostly wooden carvings," the boy continued. "We got a bunch of them at once a few weeks back, no idea where exactly they come from, but feel free to buy any."

Then, he pointed towards another smaller bookshelf. "And that's the shinobi journals section. Nice thing to get for code-breaking practice, or if you want to practice a foreign dialect. Some of these are sketchbooks, those would be ones on the bottom shelf." There was a small sign proclaiming a very low price, with even lower one for bulk purchases.

"Where do you get the journals from?" Sakura asked, keeping an even tone, but it was clear she wasn't relaxing. "Isn't that a security risk?"

"They turn up every so often. Most have been written in Konoha. A shinobi learns about a subject and ends up with some leftover notes that might be useful for someone, so they can bring them for the Intelligence Division to look at," Yamanaka-san answered. "They process them, and we get to sell some, and some future genin might learn something useful. Sometimes, we get curious civilians for a buyer, even."

Sakura nodded, thoughtful.

"They don't let us sell anything the Intelligence Division deems important, and if you buy any that were never fully decoded you get to sign a waiver promising to report in if you break the code," Yamanaka-san warned. "They're mostly harmless, but I need to inform you that if you find any techniques there and attempt to use them without supervision, we are not responsible for the results."

I think that specific warning was written on every first page.

"What about clan-secrets?" Sakura asked.

"You will rarely see a journal that used to belong to a major shinobi clan," he pointed out. "These are usually handled in-house, especially if the topics are sensitive. Even if an odd one slipped through, the Intelligence Division would catch it and bring it to the clan's attention."

Sakura nodded, satisfied with the answer.

We both knew the coded journals could make for a decent keepsake for Ino, but it would be akin to buying a cat in a bag. We'd have to get very lucky for it to be a good gift.

"Finally, here's our oddities section." Yamanaka-san led us to a corner niche. The collection of things there was especially wild. There were board games, statuettes, a bunch of other memorabilia, some quite old and others looking brand new. Most of them looked very obviously foreign in their design. "The forgotten memories, dad used to call them."

There also was a stone chess set. When I'd seen this set first, I wasn't sure, but after having seen the outdoor chess set in Holly Lodge, I was certain it was exactly the same.

Now that I thought about it, there might have been a box set of chess in Dumbledore's tent, but I hadn't opened the box, so it might have been missing pieces. I resolved to look for it during my next dream in England, of course, only if we ended up deciding on buying this one.

The chess board was well polished and the stone pieces were very smooth even if they were slightly bulky. What drew me to it the first time was that they were all quite pleasant to handle.

Cool to the touch, they clacked satisfyingly whenever a move was made, making using the board into a very tactile experience. For my tastes, shogi sets looked a bit boring, and I figured Shikamaru would appreciate the novelty, if nothing else.

The board itself looked quite marble-like, but it was not made of stone. Instead, it was masterfully carved from some type of hardwood, decorated with colored veiny inlays of shell and bone.

As I pointed it out for Sakura, my brain caught up with what Yamanaka-san just said.

Forgotten memories.

Of course.

The Yamanaka clan took great interest in remembering bits and pieces of their past lives, so it made sense some of them poured the memories into crafts, recreating things from their past lives. That must have been it.

I had another little thing to ask Ino about - now that we were talking without the secret holding me back, there were dozens of small questions like this, that I could get answers for.

"Hmm..." Sakura leaned closer to examine the chess set. The price wasn't too bad, positively a steal for the quality of the craftsmanship, but she didn't seem convinced yet. "Foreign shogi set, you said? The pieces aren't marked and it's got the wrong number of squares. You think Shikamaru would figure out the rules for the variant by himself, or is there a guidebook here, somewhere?"

There was no rulebook nor any notes to go with the physical board. The pieces were similarly unmarked, just their different shapes giving the clue to their purpose.

"He could," I said. "But I've got an idea about it." That idea was to just steal the rules for chess from what I knew in England, but I couldn't come out and say that. "I've got this," I repeated confidently.

"You've got an idea for a shogi variant?" Sakura raised her eyebrow and threw me a questioning look. "Do you even know how to play regular shogi?"

"I don't love it, but I've played Shika a few times," I said. One couldn't be friends with the Nara and escape playing shogi, after all. "I don't think it's going to be the best gift ever, but he's certainly going to try it a few times, I'm sure. Did I mention it's nice to touch?" I pushed a pawn forward and back. The board chirped pleasantly, not unlike the shuffled tiles of mahjong.

"I can give you a small discount, Haruko-chan, since you're such good company, and even brought in a new customer," Yamanaka-san said just as Sakura lifted a piece up and fiddled with it in her hand. "Bigger one if you buy more things from us."

I turned to show him a grin and a thumbs up. "Thanks, Senpai." I said cheerily, and for a moment he seemed flustered, which he never seemed to be, before. I did not press him on it. Not with Sakura watching.

"Maybe," Sakura allowed. "Have you looked through the journals - maybe there's something you've seen that could work for Ino as part of a gift - an interesting code to crack? Do you think there's a chance Shikako would find something useful there?

"I have no idea," I said, and turned to the tall boy. "Do you know if there's a journal about sealing? Our friend likes the ones that explode the best."

He chuckled. "Sealing is considered important by the Intelligence Division, so anything related you find in there would be accidentally left behind. Feel free to page through a few, maybe you'll get lucky. There are also some calligraphy sets that we have, they're sealing quality."

We spent a good half hour looking through the shop, and finally decided to get the small chess set for Shikamaru, a used but well kept sealing calligraphy set for Shikako, and a few cute postcards for all three. Sakura had also picked up a small illustration-filled journal for herself, but we still lacked a proper gift for Ino.

Still, there were a few other shops in our plan. We'd find something.

"This was so weird," Sakura said as soon as we were back on the streets.

"Why?"

"The whole shop was strange, but I think I liked it," Sakura said, thinking. "It's got a unique atmosphere, you know."

I smiled. "Yeah, it's nice."

"Your Senpai has a cute face, but we don't even know his name," Sakura announced and blushed lightly. "He's a bit weird to flirt like that with you, don't you think?"

"What?" I froze in place, my ears burning fiercely at the thought. "What do you mean by flirt, Sakura-chan?"

"Didn't you notice? He barely looked at me - and he gave you the big discount..."

"No- I- But-" I stuttered, confused. "I don't understand."

Sakura was watching me intently, with unshackled curiosity.

"I thought he's just friendly," I said finally. It was the truth. Wasn't it?

"What are you going to do about it?"

"Do I have to do anything?" I asked, heartbeat rising. "I don't think I find him -er -I never thought about things like this - aren't we way too young?"

"You should tell him about yourself, Naruto," Sakura said and my breathing hitched. "You're playing with a boy's heart."

"I'm not-" I started to protest but the words didn't come.

"Do you think he's going to be happy when he learns that you're a boy, too?"

I fell into complete silence.

I didn't even understand why I was getting so worked up about this, but my thoughts were sluggish and I couldn't make sense of myself. How could I explain?

I didn't want to have this conversation. I thought that Sakura understood, but...

This wasn't working.

"Naruto?" Sakura asked with sudden concern in her voice.

"I'll go home," I said quietly, my chakra suddenly a heavy weight upon my body, moving erratically. I needed to get my thoughts in order. I wanted to be alone. "We can get separate gifts for Ino."

"But- we still have a lot of time!" Sakura tried.

I didn't listen.

Instead, I used the Body Replacement Technique to leave a small plush toad in my place, and ran.

Potter

I paced nervously outside the tent. I had set up a new campsite, a short way off the place where I'd met Dumbledore for the first time. This was a temporary location, and I planned to move again after the meeting was done.

I wondered when exactly he would arrive. Perhaps like the last time, a few hours after midday? I had already gone and taken a quick look early in the morning, but there were no signs of his appearance. It felt like I still had some time, but I was already restless.

I felt particularly unsure of myself, and to top it off, my bad mood in Konoha from the shopping trip with Sakura was souring the dream-world mood, too.

I wasn't content about my current situation, either. I had hoped to become independent of outside help, but the very existence of the tent was like an ever present bright flame, lighting up my flawed thinking for everyone to see.

After eating a couple of decent meals from the cellar (it still boggles my mind that a food cellar could fit inside a tent) I understood my situation a lot better than before.

Dumbledore must have known what he was doing when he gave me this gift. The tent was a given in good spirit, but it was also proof of my failure.

There were barely any large animals I could hunt for, and all of the small game were scarce and certainly not nutritious enough. I had been running this body to the ground, without noticing the full extent of my exhaustion. After all, I expected to be weaker here than in Konoha, but I shouldn't have assumed that how I felt was normal for the dream world.

It should have never gotten this bad...

As soon as I got some decent food in me, and slept on a proper bed in the tent, I was forced to accept just how much I had miscalculated. This body wasn't prepared for true life in the wilderness, at least not yet.

With me eating and sleeping more, my strength was slowly returning to me. I was still weak, and I understood that being as nimble or as strong as Haruko was very much out of reach, but I could see myself making some progress in the future, provided I kept the gifted supplies.

Food, shelter and a bath made a world of difference. I could survive on my own, but that survival was not a pleasant way to live. Not a way to become an awesome kunoichi in the dreamworld.

Dumbledore had proven his point.

I sighed.

Dumbledore was to return today, and I didn't feel ready. He held all the cards and that meant he could play me without me being the wiser. He hadn't seemed dangerous, and was willing to make concessions, but what could I do about it?

I didn't have anything to haggle with.

On his end of the negotiating table, he'd provided me with a priceless asset, a portable place to live, perfect while on the run, stocked with enough supplies to last me a really long time.

I had no idea how to proceed. These two days had proven that I needed to keep the tent at least until I got my health in order. Did this put me in his debt? It was a gift, and yet...

I wished I could have turned to the old man Hokage for help, but his busy schedule hadn't cleared up any. Whatever plans we could hatch with Ino wouldn't be good enough to trick an old wizard who held all of the cards. There were too many unknowns to prepare for, anyway.

I took a deep breath, and entered the tent. I didn't know how long I had before Dumbledore would show up, but I figured I could take another look at what I had to work with. If I'd misjudge the timing, he could surely wait for a short bit.

As I entered the small hallway, very much tent-like in appearance, I could only marvel at the illusion. It seemed of correct size, but I knew the secret. The back exit was no exit at all, and would instead lead to the actual first room of the tent.

The tent would floor me each time with its impossible size, and I was still not done with the full inventory - there were so many things in here that it boggled my mind.

The first room was the largest one of the lot. Right in front of me there stood a large brick fireplace, a massive column in the middle of the room. Alone, it was twice as big as the tent when looked at from the outside. It was an intimidating feature, dividing the main room into two.

The fireplace wouldn't have been out of place in a large house's kitchen, and that is exactly what it served for. On one side, a lightly equipmed kitchen was set up. On the brick surface of the fireplace, a section of metal rings served as a burner stove.

While this kitchen was lightly equipped, it was miles better than anything I could fashion in the wilderness. In fact, this rural kitchen reminded me a bit of Nara-baasan's woodburner stove, except this particular fireplace was very greedy and would burn through frankly astonishing amounts of firewood per single meal.

Even as it would be impractical elsewhere, the wood consumption wasn't an issue - one of the cloth walls was covered to the top with firewood, a near-endless storage that could last me a whole year, possibly more.

There must have been some magic at play there too - I tried to reach the end of the pile on one side, and it seemed properly endless, so I just gave up.

In the corner of the kitchen space there was a wooden hatch with metal hinges that hid a ladder-like stairs down into the cellar. An underground cellar under the tent.

Insanity.

I loved it.

Down there, it was significantly colder than in any other place of the tent, and it was stocked with various food supplies. Unlike the likely-endless pile of wood, or the faucets that didn't seem to run out of water, the actual food seemed very much untouched by the endless-supply spell.

Doing a proper full-inventory of my food reserves was high on my list of priorities, but it could wait until after our meeting.

Today, I didn't climb down. Instead, I walked around the fireplace, out of the kitchen area.

The other side of the first room was taken up by a large oak table with two benches, easily able to seat six or even eight people. The table itself looked old and had seen much use, marked with old burn-marks and even indecipherable carvings of some strange symbols and equations.

From there, I could reach the other two rooms, once again accessible via tent-like entrances.

The penultimate room was a fully functional bathroom, with a full sized metal bath - it had three taps, one for cold water, one for warm and a third one for soap bubbles, which was also quite odd. Like in the kitchen, the faucets weren't actually connecting to any source of water, but they worked.

The final room was slightly more cramped. It was a bedroom, overtaken by a king-sized bed, but there also was also a large wooden wardrobe and a work desk, clustered quite close to the bed, as if the magical space had ran out, used up for the massive main room.

The wardrobe had more space than I needed for all of my possessions, and it had a lot of sections, and odd nooks or drawers where things could be kept.

I was yet to check everywhere, but it seemed to have been completely emptied before being given to me. However, there were a couple of little additions.

There were a couple clean sets of bedding, for the bed, and even a handful of what seemed like well-kept, but used clothes. A small selection of warm socks. Two sets of older robes, which, for me, seemed more fitting for a witch than a wizard, but I couldn't be sure. One set was in light-green and the other was light-blue, and neither fit me exactly right, but it was heaps better than Dudley's hand-me-downs.

The socks were spot on.

There was also a work desk. It stood in the company of a comfortable wooden chair, and had a handful of drawers. There, a handful of little treasures seemed untouched for a really long time.

There were loose rolls of parchment, empty or full of old notes in languages I couldn't read, a bunch of writing weathers and a set of ink in different colors.

In one of the bottom drawers, there was also the chess set. I hadn't even taken it out of the drawer the last time I had peeked into it, but since we actually went and bought a set for Shikamaru, I wanted to take a look now.

I didn't have a clock, but I figured I could spare a few more minutes. It would give me something to do while waiting. I was also curious to see how the pieces looked - that was one area where shogi was a bit lacking for my taste, and where chess could at least look interesting.

The drawer was small, and I struggled to properly pick it up for a short bit - the box was a bit heavier than it looked, and there wasn't enough space to grab onto it comfortably.

The board had been folded in half, and judging from the light clatter as I finally got it out, the pieces were still inside.

When I opened it, the pieces raised their stone faces to look up at me.

They were moving!

I didn't expect it, and it slid from my grip.

The board fell down, opened fully mid-air, and landed the checkered side down on the wooden bedroom floor. The pieces scattered to the sides, shouting curses my way as they tumbled through the air.

None seemed to be hurt, and they quickly scampered onto their feet - which weren't literal feet, as they were hopping on little marble pedestals.

Like strange, oversized bugs they shuffled back to the board, very lively and very much annoyed at the experience of the fall.

I couldn't help but chuckle nervously.

"Finally," the white king shouted in a slightly squeaky voice, while the black pieces were still cursing and chatting between themselves in a harsh-sounding foreign language.

"Are you here to finish the game?" the white king asked in English.

"What?" I answered eloquently, and leaned a bit closer.

"We've been waiting for years," the white queen announced regally - however much that was possible for a tiny white marble piece that was barely larger than my thumb. "Our court remains decimated until the game is complete."

"How do I do that?" I asked, confused.

"Place the board on its correct side up!" four white pawns shouted in unison.

As I turned it over, all of the pieces quickly scrambled back onto the board, taking up predetermined places. The black ones had an extra knight, and none of the black pieces seemed to want to speak in English, but it looked like they understood it.

I picked the board up and carried it out of the bedroom to place onto the long wooden table in the main room.

All the while, the white pieces were trying to recount the moves leading to their position, but they were speaking one over the other, and that wasn't very helpful. At least I understood that it was the white side's turn to move, after black had pushed the white king into a literal corner.

By the looks of things, only the queen and castle were able to make a move, as every one of the four pawns were stuck head-on against the black.

I wasn't sure, but it looked like the black side was one move away from victory - the queen needed to advance a single square, and there, protected by other pieces, she would be right in the white king's face. The white would lose.

This seemed like a lost game, so there was no wonder it was abandoned. Maybe the pieces were confused about it?

"I'm not sure I know all the rules," I said. "Can't the white side just give up, if it's your turn?"

"No!" all the white pieces shouted like one. "Our last player promised us a draw, but he never made the move! He was so certain about it - you can't squander that."

I sighed. "Can you run the rules by me again?"

It was a bit surreal, listening to the little pieces describe their movements to me. The four white pawns even started arguing about en passant, whatever that was. Ignoring the strange situational rule, it seemed simpler than Shogi. That was good, because shogi was really hard.

I yawned. The pieces seemed to be aware of their own movement specifics, but the overall strategy or how exactly draws worked in chess seemed to be beyond them.

Draws were nearly impossible in shogi, so my rudimentary knowledge of it didn't help. What was different here?

After a short while, I brought my stolen notebook, and started making small notes. I wanted to be sure I got the basics down. If not for my plans for Shikamaru's gift, I wouldn't have bothered to figure them out in the first place.

I finished drawing all the pieces and their moves, and thought about it for a few minutes. There weren't that many possible moves here, with only two pieces not locked in.

I scratched my chin. I could sacrifice the queen and force the black king to move back, but that would only lead to the board position where I had to take a turn, but didn't have any valid moves. In shogi, that was tantamount to defeat.

I frowned.

Maybe there was some crazy trick I was not aware of.

This was… troublesome.

It reminded me of when Shikamaru was trying to teach me shogi.

He had given me a naked king handicap, which meant that on his side, there was but a single piece, where I had a full set, and he still tricked me and won.

That game was about as frustrating as this one, even with its easy promotions.

Maybe that was it?

"Is there any reason why the rook wasn't promoted?" I asked. "If the rook was a dragon, then I could move the queen here, and maybe-"

The pieces started shouting over each other. Dragons were not in the game.

"Right, I'm sorry. I'll think about it, ok? Will you be fine staying on the table for a while? I'll come back."

They didn't seem to care about their place in the tent, but my offer to think more seemed to placate them enough, and they happily chartered between themselves, only occasionally throwing a look my way.

I laughed. Even if I didn't yet solve the riddle, a speaking chess set was unheard of in Konoha. The spirits in control of the pieces didn't seem too smart, but they were company.

"Is there a specific offering that you'd accept?" I asked just in case they had a preference. "I don't have any rice, but there are some fruits."

The question seemed to confuse them.

"We're just chess pieces," the king said, all regal and condescending. "We do not eat. We do not need anything, but for the game to be complete."

"Sorry again, I didn't know," I said and bowed quickly. "I'll be back later, but I'll be thinking about your game."

I wanted to check the clearing where I first met Dumbledore, maybe he was already waiting for me.

Potter

I was sitting comfortably in a tree, practicing drawing the chess pieces in my notebook, when I heard an alluring inhuman trill. It was a strange, exotic birdsong. The song was good, but it seemed to touch deep into my soul, echoing pleasantly. It had begun completely out of nowhere - what-

I turned quickly and saw that in an empty clearing there now stood the old wizard, and there was also a large, crimson feathered bird hovering at his side, lazily flapping its fiery wings. In its claws, there was a large sack, and all the while he kept the heartwarming song going.

The song seemed to smoothe other all of my fears and doubts, it felt like in my heart a new flame had been lit. I even closed my eyes for a moment, letting the song fill me up, and only then opened them again.

A smile found its way into my face.

"Thank you, Fawkes," Dumbledore said and the song stopped. The sack unceremoniously thumped on the ground, the clattering noise of multiple small boxes or packets hinting at its contents. The bird swooped to perch on the old man's shoulder, its long golden tail glistening.

This time, Dumbledore was wearing some sort of uniform-like robes, not as extravagant as the ones he'd worn before. They were plum-colored, marked with a silver W letter on the left hand side.

The old wizard adjusted his half-moon spectacles and looked around. I suspected it was for show, as the bird had obviously noticed me and was already watching me.

I jumped down from the tree, careful not to further tear the orange flower dress I was wearing. It still had a hole I cut out when I stole it from the shop, but I didn't care about it. "Yo! Old man! You came!"

A gentle smile appeared on his face, and I couldn't help but keep grinning back. It might have been the bird-song, but I felt genuinely happy to see him again.

"Good day to you too, Haruko," Dumbledore said and chuckled, not the least bit insulted by my informal address. "I'm very glad to see that a couple days with a full stomach remains an effective cure for most magical maladies."

It was true that I felt much better, and the exhaustion had faded, but my aches were still lingering. I was just getting better at ignoring them.

"I have at least a hundred questions," I said, instead of dwelling on them. "Will you stay for a longer while, this time? I'm prepared to answer yours."

"I can spare the rest of the day," Dumbledore said calmly. "I hope you do not mind that I've brought Fawkes, too."

"Hi." I waved and took a few steps closer, looking at the strange bird as he was doing the same to me. "Nice to meet you, I'm Haruko. Your song was very beautiful."

The bird thrilled in response, which I took for a polite greeting and then we both bowed to each other.

"Is.. he your summon?" I asked.

"Fawkes is a phoenix," Dumbledore said. "He's my companion and a friend, and he can choose to come when I call for him, if that is what you are asking about."

I smiled and nodded. Sounded just like a summon to me. "Would you like to join me in the tent? I've got some leftovers I could heat up, and I found some honey in the cellar, so I made some sponge cake for our dessert."

"I would love to try the sponge cake," Dumbledore said merrily. "Fawkes also bought us some instant ramen. Would you mind if I cast a spell to levitate them to the tent so that neither of us has to carry it?"

I couldn't have nodded faster.

I had high hopes for instant ramen.

"You actually brought me ramen!" I shouted out, unable to contain myself. "Best meal in the world ahead - believe it!"

We must have looked quite a company - an old plum-robed wizard walking gently, with a sack of instant ramen floating next to him, a fiery bird on his shoulder, and me, dressed in a clean orange flower dress, barefooted.

This time, my hair was still dark brown, dark, long and wild, stuck with a few streaks of red since my last Transformation attempt.

I couldn't stop jumping around, which seemed to amuse the old man to no end.

I was going to get to eat ramen!

Soon, we were seated at the wooden table in the kitchen, and I set a pot of water to boil.

The phoenix seemed uninterested in food, but he was watching over us, perched on the wooden beam at the very top of the tent, his long golden tail glimmering in the light of the fireplace.

I returned to the pile of ramen that spilled out from the bag. There were dozens of little plastic containers, an amount that shouldn't have fit in the sack in the first place, but I already knew that wizards had little care for being constrained by limits of space.

I counted three different brands of instant ramen, all of them unfamiliar. Only one of them had any English letters on it, and the others were marked with familiar-but-not-really kanji and katakana. However, the images on them let me differentiate no less than six different flavors. I had been given a treasure better than the tent!

"I know you're trying to get me to like you, and the gifts have been a bit too much," I said as soon as I'd counted and stacked the veritable mountain of instant ramen on one end of the large table. "But anyone who brings me this much ramen is a good person in my book!"

I picked out the base flavor of each of the brands to compare for the first batch and set them aside for myself.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled merrily from behind his half-moon spectacles. "Glad to be of service," he said. Then, he gestured vaguely towards the set up chess set on the other end of the table. "I thought I threw it away years ago," he commented in a more detached tone. "Are you interested in chess, Haruko?"

"Only a bit, but I'm missing some rules," I said, noting how all of the pieces, both black and white, were watching the man very intently, listening in. They were hoping he'd complete the game, I realized. "I didn't expect the spirits to talk, but they've taught me some moves. I still can't figure out the one move they want me to make."

"The chess pieces aren't actual spirits," Dumbledore explained and rubbed at his beard. "They possess only an illusion of understanding, no more and no less than the caster has put into them. In this case, the young wizard thought himself much more clever than he actually was, young and foolish at the time, same as his partner in crime, so the set has some opinions on finishing one's commitments."

"You made this board?" I asked.

"I wasn't alone in its creation, but yes." He closed his eyes, retreating into the memory. "It was a game I almost lost, I remember it well. But my opponent made a small blunder, and I managed a draw. It was the last game we played. Last time we were on good terms, too."

"I'm sorry," I offered, the soured last shopping trip with Sakura at the forefront of my mind.

Dumbledore opened his eyes and met mine. For a split second, I felt like I was there, on the Konoha street, my chakra boiling inside with hurt and even bits of anger.

The almost-vision faded, and Dumbledore offered a soft smile from behind his silver beard. "Do not feel sorry about me, Haruko. I am old, and if there's one thing that's certain is that there's always a last conversation or a last game you have with someone. Even so, people change, and those we consider beyond reach can become our friends again."

The water started boiling so I jumped up to fill all three cups of instant ramen for myself.

"Pick some for yourself," I urged Dumbledore, and he picked a packet of what must have been sweet and savory ramen, and I filled it with water, too.

The ramen was good. I devoured all three of my portions, figured out the tastiest brand and started heating up water for another batch.

Dumbledore was watching merrilly, patiently letting me have my moment with the food. He only took a few sips of his portion, and it didn't seem like he was going to finish it.

"You really enjoy it," he commented, his eyes piercing through the half-moon spectacles.

"Yeah," I said. In my head, an image of Ichiraku Ramen flashed, and I recalled the taste of the best ramen in the world. "I never thought I'd get to eat ramen in my dream," I said without thinking.

Dumbledore smiled as I realized what I'd just said. Then, he calmly took another careful sip out of his plastic cup and said nothing.

"Aren't you going to ask me?' I prompted.

"Why?" The question certainly surprised me

"To figure me out?" I said, incredulously. "Isn't that what you're here to do?"

Dumbledore shrugged. "There are many mysteries in our universe," he said. "Some big and some small, but they all have their own time. It wouldn't do me good to be too hasty and accidentally insult my host. We didn't even try the dessert I was promised. I strive to be on my best behavior until then."

I chuckled at that. "I haven't forgotten," I said. "What about my questions?"

"Feel free to ask any," he said. "I'll do my best to answer."

"Could you teach me the basics for chess?" I asked about something that wasn't really important, but it felt so - unfinished. It was perhaps the safest topic, too. "Is there some escape from the forced stalemate in your game?"

So, we talked about chess.

Apparently, a forced stalemate is considered a draw in English chess, and has been so for at least a hundred years.

Go figure. There was no trick.

At least the little pieces were finally done with their game, their missing siblings appearing out of nowhere inside the case, and the survivors of the game joined them, chattering excitedly between themselves until the case was fully closed.

Then, we talked about shogi.

A little. The topic wasn't really exciting, but considered it preparation for a celebration with Nara.

Dumbledore knew the game. It should have been surprising, but at that point I was just starting to assume that the old wizard just knew everything. It took less time for him to figure out what set of rules I was talking about than to get through the language barrier to translate the piece names into english.

Apparently, my dream-world had many languages, quite like Elemental Nations, but instead of a handful, there were hundreds.

I knew about the many countries from the boring lessons at St. Gregory's, but I didn't know that many things I knew from Konoha were also very much existed, but were considered foreign and exotic. Dumbledore gave a quick rundown on some countries of the far east. Japan's similarities came up a lot, but I only had Dubledore's word to go on and it felt like a coincidence.

The specifics of the linguistics went right over my head, but Dumbledore claimed there were a lot of similarities in what sparse Fire Country words I offered and dream world's Japanese. He even offered his help in learning it, should I become interested. If the similarities were that strong, maybe it wouldn't be hard to learn it?

I was not excited at the prospect of more learning, but if I could learn a language without needing to read a lot of books? I didn't know if it would be useful, anyway.

"Does your name have a meaning?" the wizard asked and I considered what to say.

"I haven't totally decided on it yet," I replied with the honest truth. "When I have to write it down, which is barely ever, I usually use the kanji for hazel. The bush. Or, well, the tree. Both. You know. It just means girl-named-Hazel, then."

There were a few other kanji that could have made up my name. Once, I even considered using the one for spiral, but that would have needed even more kanji to spell out, and I didn't feel like being named spiral-lapis-spiral. That would have been too silly.

I didn' say that last part out loud, nor did I go into my decidedly neutral stance on lapis jewelry.

"And Uzumaki just means spiral," I translated instead, drawing an imagined swirl on the table with my finger. "Or a swirl. Either."

"Hazel is a very pretty name," Dumbledore said softly. "Fits your family, too. Your mother's line liked to use flowers and plants for their daughters' names."

"Did you know my parents?" I asked quickly. A bit too quickly, perhaps. I must have sounded so desperate... I bit at the edge of my lip. Yet another mistake.

"Yes," the old wizard said. "Your father, James, was a brave and cheerful soul, a wizard gifted in the area of magical transfiguration... Your mother Lily was one of the smartest witches I had the pleasure of working with, and there was no magical discipline she did not excel in."

"You actually did-" I gaped at him.

"I've been a Professor and now a Headmaster at one of the most prestigious witchcraft and wizardry schools in the world. I daresay I know most of the magical people in Britain."

"Could you-?" I rubbed at my eyes trying to hide the forming tears. "Tell me about them?"

"Of course, Hazel, it would be my pleasure," he said, and that was it.

He had won me over.

He told me little stories of their school life, of the fight against the rising dark lord and then, he described what was known about their last moments. I did not notice when the phoenix song started, but it softened the pain when I finally learned why and how my parents were taken from me.

Fawkes was the best.

We talked about the Wizarding World for a while afterwards and had some delicious honey sponge cake. It was a nice, long evening, considering the heavy weight of my parents' true cause of death laid on my shoulders.

For his part, Dumbledore barely asked me any personal questions. He seemed only interested in the Fire Country language, and didn't even bring up the pain he was worried about the last time we met.

Maybe I was getting better at ignoring the aches, or maybe he knew and just didn't want to bring it up. For myself, I wanted to enjoy the nice day, so I didn't ask about my pursuers. Maybe I should have, but for now, I didn't regret it.

"I guess I could try to be Hazel Potter again... One day," I said at one point in the evening, my head spinning with a million thoughts. "Do you think I would make a half-decent witch?"

The Headmaster of Hogwarts smiled and nodded.

Uzumaki

I was experimenting with Haruko's Infinite Wardrobe Jutsu next to the wall-mirror in my apartment, when there was a knock on my door.

I wasn't expecting anyone.

Maybe the Old Man was finally free and sent someone-

"Sorry for turning up with no warning," Shikako's muffled voice echoed through the small gap under the door. She could obviously sense that I was home. "Can I come in?"

I dashed to the door and opened it wide, all with my foot. It was slightly more difficult because I was still keeping the Ram hand seal, and my chosen clothes were a bit restrictive for leg movements, but I managed it.

"Shikako! Come on in!" I said with a smile, not letting go of the hand seal. I wanted to see her reaction. "Did something happen?"

Shikako opened her mouth, but no words came out. She guffawed and then slapped her hand over the mouth. "What are you wearing?" she muttered cheerfully, stepping inside and closing the door behind her.

I looked down and assessed the question with the utmost seriousness, playing it up.

My robes were wide, coloured like the night's sky and the stars were shining and slowly moving - I was really proud of that part, but I couldn't let go of the seal or stop burning chakra else it would stop.

I also had a huge pointy hat with a bunch of bells that clanged like a quiet wind chime with every movement. That bit was also a masterpiece of Transformation jutsu.

"Magical robes of a powerful witch?" I tried to explain with a question. Wasn't it obvious? I grinned at Shikako's mild confusion.

Shikako laughed merrily at the declaration. "What-" She chuckled without finishing the sentence, overcome with giggles once again. "Haruko-chan, you're a riot."

I could help but join in, and we laughed merrily. Then I twirled around, bells chiming and the robes glimmering. "Like it?"

"Looks very cute. Did you steal this look from a manga?" she asked, "What's the occasion?"

"I made it up." I had no idea what witches actually wore, but I was guessing from Dumbledore's robe choices that it was about as flashy as I was imagining it now. The two dress robes that I had weren't as elaborate, but they seemed more practical than decorative. Maybe I could get him to bring me some pictures or photos to learn from? "Just messing around."

Shikako nodded.

"I was thinking of putting a toad on the hat," I said, and with a push of chakra a large plush toad appeared on the brim of the hat, it's plush tongue peeking out. "What do you think?"

"It's very over-the-top," Shikako giggled again. "Suits you. Could you create a twig broomstick, too?"

"Whatever for?" I asked, confused. "Don't witches clean with magic?"

"Oh," she looked thrown off for a moment. "I thought that was part of the witchness - a broom, a cat and a cauldron? Wasn't there a manga like that?"

"If you can remember what manga that was, I want to read it," I remarked. "I don't think I can make a broom easily. Transformation works best for me when it's all part of the outfit. If I could split myself in two, then one of me could Transform into a broomstick, but I don't think there's a technique like that, is there?"

"Maybe there is." Shikako shrugged, suddenly uncertain. "I can try to ask around - I've heard about earth clones, but they're way too difficult for our level. I'm not sure what jutsu they could use."

"That'd be so cool," I said and dismissed the Transformation for the outfit, leaving myself in the cozy orange jacket I usually wore as Naruto. With my current body it was a bit too big, but that made it even more comfortable. After a quick look into the mirror, I adjusted my hair into two short twin tails, going through a few different shades before settling on blonde with red highlights.

I was home - I could do what I wanted with my look. Even outside, I regularly experimented, just kept it within believable range, so no one figured me out.

Shikako watched my adjustments deep in thought, the fingertips of her hands touching together.

"So - how can I help?" I asked cheerfully. "Should I get a meal going? It's a bit late for lunch, but I could whip something up anyway. Maybe you'd like some onigiri?"

"Typical Haruko-chan. See friend, offer food," Shikako said. "Thanks, but not this time."

"It usually works," I protested with a smile.

"I'm actually here to invite you for a sleepover," Shikako said. "My place. We talked with Ino, and we think you could use it." She didn't say anything about inviting Sakura. That was - unusual and probably deliberate. Why?

"I'm fine," I protested weakly. "Is it a good idea to have me over on the eve of your party? I wouldn't want to give your family extra trouble..."

"You're never trouble." Shikako smiled slightly and then her smile waned. "There's one more thing. I don't know how to broach it, so I'll just come out and ask."

She hesitated.

"Go ahead," I said and winked.

"I talked with Sakura," she said, and my heart fell. I was suddenly uncertain. My heartbeat quickened. "Ino, too. And-"

"I can skip the sleepover," I offered quickly as my face fell. Maybe-

"Haruko!" Shikako stomped her foot. "Sakura's wrong."

I blinked a few times, surprised. "What?"

"Listen," Shikako said firmly. "You're our friend, and Sakura obviously hurt you, even if she thinks she hasn't. We're setting her straight."

I could feel my heartbeat echoing in my throat. Just what was happening?

"I know it's not simple, but I've read the book Ino recommended, and we talked a bunch," Shikako plowed on, as if she wasn't shaking my understanding of the world. "You've been dropping enough hints to fill a warehouse, but I think this needs to be said out loud, or we're going to be dancing around the issue until we're old and crotchety."

I swallowed nervously. I was not ready for this. And yet, I felt hope.

"The Sage of Six Paths says that our souls can fit whichever body they get, but he implies there's a preference that can exist independently of the physical form. Like soul-deep memories Ino talked about, remember?"

"A preference for a body?" I echoed. "In my soul?" The thought resonated in me. Maybe that was what was wrong with me? My soul had landed wrong?

"Yes," Shikako said. "I'm no way an expert, and I don't want to pressure you to decide anything right now, but... If we think about it, the physical form is secondary to the soul we have. I believe that it's everyone's choice how they want to look and no one should decide for them. So if your soul prefers to be a girl, it makes sense to become one, right?"

My legs felt weak, so I wobbled over to Shikako, and face-planted into her chest.

She hugged me.

"I'd love to tell you that everyone else thinks that way, but that wouldn't be true," she continued, her voice soothing. "There are things that most civilians and even shinobi tend not to speak about in public. There's expectations about who you should be and who you should love, but what others want can't force people to change their souls, can it?"

I half-chuckled, half-sobbed at that.

"Expectations are just words. People don't stop existing or change who they love or don't just because others disapprove or don't understand," Shikako said softly. "I know that our clans are more accepting than some others, and certainly more than your average civilian. The Nara mostly let their shinobi live how they want, same with the Akimichi. There might be whispers, and it's not going to be perfect, but..."

I breathed in a heavy breath.

"I think the Yamanaka have an even better grasp on it, they tend to focus on the souls over appearances. It's the way of their clan, and if they trust you and you know where to look, I'm sure they'd be glad to help you find yourself."

"Shikako-" I pulled her into a tighter grip, without looking at her face.

"Yeah?"

"I don't know what I want," I mumbled. "But I'd hate to be stuck as a boy forever. I like it a lot more when I'm Haruko. I don't want to go back."

"It's all up to you," Shikako said simply. "Your soul - your life. If you want to be Haruko, be her. You'll figure it out. I know you will."

"Thanks for saying all this," I muttered softly. "I love you."

She stiffened, but only a little bit.

"You're like a sister to me," I hurried to add, and felt the pressure leave her. My own thoughts were still a mess, but her calmness was soothing.

"You're precious to me too, Haruko," she said and patted my head. "How about that sleepover with me and Ino?"

"If we keep this topic, I'll probably be a mess the whole way through," I said and sniffled. "Warning you now."

"Feel free to be as much of a mess as you want to." Shikako said cheekily. "I've got us ice-cream, blankets and napkins. There's also a huge supply of warm tea and some snacks. And since we're having the party tomorrow at the same place, you won't be late even if we sleep in."

"You're the best, Shikako-chan," I mumbled.

Shikako chuckled. "I'll take that as a yes."

I let go of the hug, and rubbed at my eyes. "Maybe we should invite Sakura-chan, too? I think if she hears what you said, she would understand... I don't want her to feel excluded over me."

"You're a good soul, Haruko," Shikako said. "I can swing by her place, then. You'll be alright coming to our house alone, or do you want me to double back here for some company on the way?"

"I'll be fine by myself, I know the way," I flashed Shikako a thumb's up. "I need some time to pack if I'm not going to be back here before the party, and you can't look."

"Sure," Shikako said and smiled brightly. "See you in a couple of hours, then?"

"Probably a bit more," I said. Since I didn't plan for the sleepover, I had to finish my preparations for tomorrow - Ino's present was still unwrapped and I'd hoped to get the rules for Shikamaru's chess bound into a small booklet, as they currently were written out on loose pages. "I'll come, don't worry."

I also needed a shower - if I was going to be a mess tonight, I wanted to make sure I was a clean mess.

Notes:

I chose Haruko as 榛子 (hazel), but for a bit considered 巴琉子 (spiral+lapis-jewelry) and even 華流子 (flower+flow) (as my limited knowledge of Japanese says, 子 just means that the name is feminine). There are many reasons why I consider Hazel/Haruko a very fitting choice for this reimagining of the character. They look and sound recognizably similar both to each other and to Harry/Naruto. Hazel also follows the plant-naming pattern, and blooms yellow. It's also a monoecious plant, which adds another small joke on top.

Konoha's Fire Country language doesn't exactly match Japanese in this fanfic, but consider it a sort-of translation convention to use slight Japanese logic for it's structure and names.

The chess match reference was quite literally stolen from "The Swindle Of The Century", but I deliberately kept the positions of the pieces ambiguous. Feel free to assume that Albus and his opponent accidentally repeated a famous stalemate ending piece-for-piece before it was recorded in a ranked match an ocean over, or that Larry Evans and Samuel Reshevsky played a different game in the timeline of this dream-world.