Tw: talk of gender dysphoria. Note: any trans issues that are misrepresented is on purpose and in character.
Draco is awoken by a great weight being shifted off him. He opens his eyes to Ron standing in the middle of his bedroom, looking around frantically.
"What time is it?" they say.
Draco slowly sits up, all the emotions from last night rushing back.
"The clock's there," he says, stretching as he points to the clock ticking away second by second opposite the bed.
"I'm going to be in so much trouble if I've missed any lessons," says Ron. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep, I was just so tired, and you were... yeah."
Draco watches them run a panicked hand through his hair. "It's alright."
"Thank God," he sighs after seeing the minute hand a minute past eight. "It's only eight."
Ron looks back to Draco, who's just watching them silently.
"Can we not talk about last night?" Ron groans, covering his face with his hands. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come uninvited, I don't know why I did. And I didn't mean to fall asleep on you like that. You should've woken me up. I didn't mean to rant to you at all. Sorry, I've made things awkward. Ignore everything I said. It doesn't matter, I was just tired."
"Ron."
"Yeah?"
"Last night kind of made me realise something," says Draco, swallowing nervously.
"What's that?" Ron asks, taking off their blazer which they kept on from last night.
"I have feelings for you."
Draco's usual playful smirk is gone, and Ron feels their jaw drop. "Oh," they swallow, an unrecognisable feeling punching their lower stomach.
"You fell asleep on me," Draco says with his little remaining courage. "Just like that. And I got to hold you like you were mine. It was a completely different feeling to when we were just necking on, like, fuck. It was perfect."
Ron's eyes widen with the honest sobriety of the confession. "Bloody hell," he manages to say.
Draco shrugs as if he hadn't just torn open his chest and laid down his heart for Ron to see. "The whole evening I was closing my eyes and pretending Daphne was you, and it's not like I even wanted to kiss you. I wanted to dance with you and talk to you and make you laugh and see you in your dress robes and give you this necklace my dad got for Daphne but it matched your eyes... and yeah, stuff like that."
Ron stares back, speechless.
"I know you didn't want to go down this route," Draco says, holding up his hands. "And it doesn't have to. I have no idea how bad you must have felt and still feel for getting with me. So for that reason, if you want to end this now, I'll understand. Everything you were saying last night made me realise that I was being exactly like Padma, all entitled and shit. I get that to start with I was being a complete dick and I was just using you for myself and I didn't care about you at all, but I really fucking hope I haven't made you feel pressured into doing anything. I know you said I forced myself on you in the bathrooms and I don't know if you were just saying that because you were angry or if you meant it-"
"I didn't mean it," Ron says quickly.
"Okay, good, because I never intended for it to be like that, honestly Ron," says Draco. "But either way, I was a cunt and it's pretty clear that if I wasn't pushing for this then it would never have happened, so yeah. I'll stop being such a selfish prick and let you get on with your life, no questions asked. You said you only wanted to do this for a few weeks and it's been a month and a half, so we can stop now. And I promise this time I'll leave you alone, for good."
Ron feels a lump forming in their throat. "Oh my God, Draco," he says, turning away.
"Sorry, was that too much?" Draco says anxiously. "Look, Ron, you said you didn't want this to be serious and it's getting serious for me so I'd rather we just stop now than you feeling awkward or like you owe it to me to stay."
"Are you ending this?" Ron squeaks, turning to face him again, this time outrage contorting their face.
"Not if you don't want to," says Draco quickly. "God, no."
"Good because I was about to fucking... punch your face in."
Draco holds back a smile. "All I'm saying is if you want this to be a casual thing, then it's not going to work out because I'm a dumbass idiot who's caught feelings for you."
Ron can't help but grin at this. "Draco, I can't believe you," he says, breaking the tension completely. "I can't believe you think I'd want to end this, we're just getting to the good part."
Draco lets out a long sigh of relief, hardly able to believe his ears.
Ron's smile fades, suddenly serious again. "I've been ignoring my feelings and telling them to go away because I told myself, you know, that this had to be casual, and it would cause too many problems if it became a thing. I don't know about you, but I've never, like," he gives an embarrassed laugh. "I've never done anything like this before, and to do it with you sounded like the worst idea ever to exist. But now I've actually given it a chance, it doesn't seem that bad."
"What a compliment," Draco says dryly, secretly touched.
"Okay, what do you want me to say?" Ron's face flushes red. "That you're all I can fucking think of day and night?"
Now it's Draco's turn to sit speechless.
"I don't want to end this because that would just be counterproductive now that I'm relaxing and enjoying myself a bit more," Ron hastily continues. "You were always more to me than a kiss, even if you didn't feel the same."
"Really?" Draco whispers.
"Yeah," says Ron, the tips of their ears going red at the confession. "I didn't tell you because I thought you just wanted a quick shag, well, not a shag, but you know. I never imagined you'd have feelings for me."
Draco smiles. "You guessed wrong."
"Do you want to do this properly?" Ron asks hopefully. "Give it a proper go?"
Draco can hear his blood pulsate in his ears. The words he's been waiting for weeks to hear.
"I would love to."
Ron breaks out into a beam, reciprocated by Draco, and they launch into each other, hugging like their lives depended on it.
"What exactly does giving it a proper go entail, by the way?" Ron says into his ear, prompting Draco to laugh.
"Whatever you want it to be," he says. "Nothing has to change if you don't want it do, we can continue on like this."
"Yeah, that sounds good."
"I'm glad that's sorted," Draco murmurs.
"Yeah, me too because I need to get back to the dormitory," Ron says. "Everyone will be wondering where I went."
"Ron, about yesterday-" Draco starts.
"Don't," they groan. "Can we just forget that happened?"
"Are you sure you're feeling okay about it? Because you were pretty upset last night."
"Yeah, I was just tired," they sigh. "It wasn't her fault, it was me."
Draco gives them a look. "She said you ruined her entire night just because you didn't kiss her."
"She's not wrong."
"Yeah, she is fucking wrong."
Ron shrugs. "It doesn't matter now."
"Okay," says Draco. He can tell Padma's words are still hurting. "When do you want to meet next?"
"We could make Tuesdays and Fridays our little thing," Ron suggests, then rubs the back of their neck with embarrassment at their eagerness. "Or just Fridays if that's too much."
"No, Tuesdays and Fridays sound perfect."
"Okay, I'll be there, but if I'm not by, like, midnight then I won't be coming."
"Alright," Draco smiles. "See you Tuesday."
"Bye, Draco."
The blossoming warmth glowing to every part of Draco's body as Ron closes the door is near euphoric. He does a little jump, unable to keep the grin off his face.
His black belt lies in the bottom draw, unused for days. The clock ticks by, minute by minute.
Today, not once does he look at the second hand.
Ron heads back to the dormitory. Everyone's down at breakfast so they're able to peacefully get changed. He goes into the bathroom, turns the glaring lights on, and stares into the mirror.
They look at themselves and smile.
"Blaise?" Draco says. Along with the rest of the class, he's sitting around the Slytherin Common room aimlessly waiting for the dinner bell to ring.
"Yes?"
"Come here a second."
"What's happening?" asks Crabbe, glancing at Blaise wandering over to the corner with Draco.
"Keep your fucking nose out of it, Crabbe," says Draco.
He leans over the table in the furthest corner towards Blaise.
"I want to do a prank," he says in a low voice.
Blaise raises his eyebrows. "A prank?"
"Ok, fine, not a prank," says Draco, bristling slightly. "I want to put a jinx on someone."
Blaise leans in, interested. "On who?"
"Padma Patel."
Blaise crosses her arms. "What kind of jinx?"
"I don't know, that's why I need your help," says Draco.
"How pranky do you want this to be? Because jinxes on the far end of the spectrum are deadly. How badly has she fucked you over?"
"She's not fucked me over," Draco says.
"Who then?"
"No one, I just want to do a stupid jinx. Nothing that serious but enough to shake her up a bit."
Blaise thinks for a minute.
"Can we turn her into a weasel or something like what happened to me last year?" Draco asks.
"I don't know the specific spell for that but I could do something similar," says Blaise. "I could turn her into a rat for an hour. Is that light-hearted enough for you?"
Draco's eyes flick to Blaise and he wonders how they know that he's taking this more seriously than other pranks they've done. Then he realises his face hasn't moved from its sour frown since he sat down.
"Yeah, that should be good," says Draco. "Can we do it now? Catch her on the way down to the hall?"
"Let's do it," Blaise grins, excited by the opportunity.
"I've missed this," Blaise whispers as they crouch in one of the empty rooms near the exit of the Gryffindor Common room.
"Missed what exactly?" Draco whispers back.
"Doing stupid shit like pranks," says Blaise. "This is the first one I've done this year."
"Yeah, me too."
"Are you going to tell me what she's done?" Blaise asks as the bell for the evening meal rings.
Draco shrugs. "She was a prick and I want revenge."
"But not a prick to you?"
"Shut up," mutters Draco as he hears the door open and laughter echoing down the corridor. "They're coming."
There are various sounds of the Gryffindors bustling past the room where Draco and Blaise hunch in darkness.
"Now," Draco says urgently.
They lunge out into the corridor. Blaise points its wand at Padma and shouts 'rodere' while Draco utters up a deflection spell warping the light making it impossible for the students to recognise them.
He catches a glimpse of Padma shrinking down out of human form as they bolt down the corridor in the other direction before anyone has a chance to look too closely.
"You got her?" Draco asks breathlessly as they put on a spurt of speed in the direction of the hall.
"Yes," says Blaise. "I didn't get it directly on target so it won't last as long but I definitely got her."
"Nice one," says Draco as they slow down in an attempt to control their breathing before heading to the Great Hall for dinner. "Cheers."
"Anytime."
Draco and Blaise enter the hall together while everyone settles down on the benches. The Gryffindor bench is more chaotic than usual and Draco smirks as he sees Padma in the middle of it all in tears.
He sits down, undetected by any of the Gryffindors, and watches to the chaos ensue, a contented smile plastered on his face.
Draco opens the door at around 11 pm.
"Hi," Ron smiles, hugging him.
"Nice to see you again," Draco says.
They sit down together on the worn sofa.
"I had the best sleep of my life last night," Draco says. "I feel like I've finally got peace of mind."
"Because of this?"
"Yeah," he says. "I've been stressing over it for ages convincing myself you didn't feel the same way."
"Actually, Draco," they say, sitting up straight. "I wanted to tell you something."
"What is it?" Draco turns to face them.
"You know how yesterday you said you wanted to try and give this a proper go?"
"Yeah, I haven't changed my mind."
"Ok, good," Ron says, clasping their clammy hands together. "I just wanted to clear something up before that, in case you change your mind, I'd rather you know now than later."
Draco looks at him with concern. "What's this all about?"
Um, well, I am..." Ron pauses, scared to say the words outright. "I'm non-binary."
"You're non-binary?"
"Yeah."
"What's that?"
Ron bites his lip at Draco's clueless face. This was going to be harder than they expected. "It's, uh, a gender? Well, not really. It's like, ok, you know how you're born a boy or a girl?" Ron starts with, wondering how the hell to explain this to Draco when he can barely describe it to himself.
"Yeah?"
"I'm, like, I'm not really that. Well, obviously I was born a boy. But I'm not, I don't know, in the head a boy. Like you are."
Draco's confused face softens. "Oh, right, I think I've heard about this. Is this when people change their names and switch genders and stuff?"
"Yeah, kind of."
"I thought that was being transgender, not non-binary?"
"Yes, trans just means you aren't the same gender as what you're born as. A trans guy would be born a girl then turn out as a guy and vice versa, that's trans. Non-binary is like a subset of trans, if you like; it's anyone who isn't a girl or a guy."
Draco narrows his eyes in concentration. "So it's like in the middle of man and woman?"
"It can be," says Ron. "It can be anything that isn't one of the two, so I wouldn't say I'm exactly in the middle. I go between feeling like a guy and feeling like nothing."
"It changes?"
"Yeah," Ron smiles nervously at Draco's raised eyebrows.
"Wait, so if you aren't a man that means you don't have a dick?" Draco says.
"No, I do," Ron smiles awkwardly. "It's not about what you're born as, it's about how you feel you fit into society."
"Sorry, I don't have a clue about any of this," Draco says with a short laugh. "The only thing that comes to mind is when I was like, five, one of my mum's cousins came around who none of us had seen for about ten years and she'd, like, turned into a man. She still had long hair but she had a really deep voice and she was dressing like a man. She had me fooled, I'll tell you that much. They had this massive argument and my mum was saying she's a disgrace to the family and all the rest of it, it was all a bit dramatic."
"He," says Ron.
"Huh?"
"Your mum's cousin was a trans man, so he went from being a woman to a man and you'd call him he not she because he's not a woman anymore."
"Oh," says Draco. Then after a long pause, "yeah, that makes sense. Well, they had this argument and he was saying his mum had already thrown him out and he doesn't have anywhere else to go, but my parents weren't having it and chucked her- him out."
"That's such a shame," Ron says, the correction filling him a fuzzy feeling.
"Yeah, so that's the extent of my knowledge," says Draco.
He nudges Ron's shoulder, noticing their thin smile and how they're chewing their lip. "Do you want to explain more?" he suggests. "I get going from a girl to a boy but I didn't really get when you said you're sometimes a boy and sometimes nothing. How can you be nothing?"
"Okay, sure," Ron nods. "I guess nothing just means an unattachment to gender; it's neither being a boy or a girl. I don't know, it's really hard to explain but it's just the lack of gender. That's how I feel most of the time, neither gender, and then other times I feel okay with being a guy. It all depends on how much gender dysphoria I have, which I spent loads of time researching what that is," he adds in response to Draco's lost look.
"And it's when your body doesn't match with what you feel in your head as far as I can tell. Like, I can never deal with being called Sir or Mr, it stresses me out, but some days I feel fine wearing masculine clothing and being called 'he' constantly. Then other days I want to cry and rip out my hair whenever people refer to me as a boy. I'm always non-binary but on days when I have less dysphoria, I feel closer to the boy side of things than the middle is what it comes down to."
"I see," says Draco. "So it changes constantly?"
"Yeah, sorry," Ron laughs anxiously. "It sounds stupid, I know."
"No, it doesn't," Draco says. "I think I get it."
Ron smiles. "Good."
"So how does all of this affect us?" asks Draco. "Or did you just want to get it off your chest?"
"Well, I was kind of scared to tell you in case you didn't like me anymore because you're only into men," Ron admits.
"You're still the same Ron, aren't you?" says Draco.
"Yeah, I am," says Ron, relaxing slightly.
"There you go then, it's no problem."
"There was another reason too," they say. "I didn't want you to go into this with false expectations because I don't feel comfortable doing some things that you might want to do."
"If you don't want to do something then we won't do it, end of," Draco says firmly.
"All right," says Ron with a small smile. "It's just to do with the whole physical thing. If sex is important to you then this probably isn't going to work out because you'd have to catch me on a really good day to get me into that. I wanted you to know that before we go any further, in case that's a make or break."
"As long as you're comfortable, I don't care if we sit in silence for an hour," says Draco without a second's hesitation.
Ron's face lights up. "Really?"
"Yeah," Draco says. "I'm not a sex maniac if you can believe that."
"I'll believe it when I see it," Ron scoffs.
"I'm not even that bad," Draco sniffs, quickly diverting the attention back. "What are you comfortable with, physically, if it's a bad day?"
"I'm fine with kissing whenever," says Ron. "But I'd rather you didn't touch certain parts." Draco's nod encourages him to elaborate. "Down there always," they say, vaguely gesturing to their crotch. "I usually feel icky about my chest, and sometimes hips."
"Okay, I can avoid those," says Draco. "And definitely no sex?"
Ron fakes a look of disgust. "God, men only want one thing these days."
Draco laughs. "Sorry, what can I say?"
Ron shrugs, thinking it through. "Yeah, I don't know."
"Ok, well let me know when you do know," smirks Draco. "Because I'm down whenever."
Ron elbows him. "Horny bastard."
"And you don't want to..." Draco starts making vaguely explicit hand gestures.
"What the bloody hell are you doing?" laughs Ron. "Look, I'll suck you off if you want but that's the head and tail of it."
"Really?" says Draco, looking immensely pleased with himself.
"Fuck's sake." Ron bats him away. "You can take that smug look off your face."
"~I'll suck you off if you want~," Draco snorts. "What a way with words you have, Ronald Weasely."
"Oh, fuck off, sorry I'm not five miles inside McGonagall's arsehole. Would you rather I'd said 'If thy be inclined, thou art happy to sucketh on thy manhood'."
"Manhood," Draco snorts, wheezing at Ron's sombre expression. "I'll throw up on the spot if you use that word again."
"Exactly, so shut the fuck up."
Draco's eyebrows shoot up. "Who are you telling to shut up?"
Ron's grin switch to protests as Draco wrestles with them until he's lying flat on his back under Draco flat on the sofa.
"You're lucky I don't exercise or I'd beat you up so easily," Ron says, out of breath as Draco pins them down.
"Would you now?" smirks Draco, resting a hand on Ron's neck. "You're all talk, no fight. I could choke you to death right now and you'd do fuck all."
"Maybe I'm into that," Ron smiles, their face turning red as Draco leans in closer.
"There's no way you're into choking, you're the most bloody vanilla person I've ever met."
"You're such a prick, I'm not vanilla," Ron says. "You're practically choking me right now."
"Bullshit," scoffs Draco, loosening his grip slightly just in case.
"We've been doing whatever the fuck you want to call this since July," says Draco. "It's December and the furthest we've got is kissing."
"If you've got a problem with that-"
Draco moves his hand from Ron's neck to cover their mouth. "I do not have a singular problem with that," he smiles. "Or I wouldn't be here, would I? Now if you're finishing whinging, can I kiss you already?"
Ron rolls their eyes but gives a small nod with what space they have left. Draco doesn't move from sitting on top of Ron, but he adjusts his hands to wrap around the back of their head and they kiss.
Draco draws back momentarily for breath. All the blood has rushed to Ron's head. "Have you finished crushing my ribcage?" they whisper.
"You were enjoying it, don't lie," Draco smirks, rolling back off Ron who promptly sits up.
"Enjoying feeling all my bodily functions get cut off? Yeah, sure."
"I'm not that heavy," Draco says.
"You felt like it."
"I've got another question," says Draco, stroking his hand across their shoulder.
"Is it about crushing the air out of my lungs?"
Draco laughs. "No, it's about what you want to be called."
"What do you mean?"
"Like do you not want me to call you 'he' or Ron anymore because you're not a guy?"
"I'm still happy with the name Ron, and I like they them the most, but I don't mind he either, as long as you don't use only he," says Ron. "Thanks for asking. I wasn't gonna tell you about all this in the first place, but I'm glad I changed my mind."
"Me too," says Draco. "You know Blaise?"
"Yeah?"
"He said he likes being called 'they' as well as 'he' but I never thought much of it until now. It's common knowledge, by the way, I'm not revealing their secrets, but does that mean he's non-binary too?"
"Not necessarily," Ron says. "You'd have to ask. "Anyone can use any pronouns, it just depends."
"Okay. I'll ask them."
Draco fiddles with their hair, fidgeting around on the sofa.
"So this whole time when we've been doing stuff, I've been making you uncomfortable?" Draco asks guiltily.
"Not really," says Ron. "To be honest most the time you don't even touch my chest or hips, you're more of a neck and shoulders guy. The main chunk of my dysphoria comes from people calling me 'he' all the time and being put with the boys for everything, so you touching my chest occasionally is not a big deal in comparison."
"Alright, good."
They sit quietly for a few moments, Ron letting out a yawn as he rests their head on Draco's shoulder.
"Ron?"
"Yeah?"
"Just tell me what to do and I'll do it," says Draco. "Don't be shy to tell me if I fuck anything up."
"Thank you," Ron says, snuggling in closer. "For being understanding. I know it's not ideal."
"It's perfectly ideal," Draco smirks. "You're gonna suck me off at some point, I don't see how much better it could get."
"Piss off," Ron laughs. "I said maybe, not definitely."
"We'll see."
"I was thinking we could play a celebratory game of scrabble," Draco says, pulling out the board from under the table.
"You are kidding me," Ron groans. "Draco, it's half eleven at night and I've just spent twenty-five minutes trying to explain my gender to you when I don't even fucking know what it is myself. My brain is frazzled right now."
"It'll be fun," he assures him, picking out seven letters from the small bag. "You can go first if you want."
"This is not what I signed up for," Ron grumbles, shifting across to hide their letters from Draco.
"It's either this or getting choked," Draco says, spreading his hands out. "I don't make the rules."
Ron snorts. "Yeah, and I think I'd rather you choked me. All my letters are shite."
"I'll go first then."
"Yeah, you go. I'm still gonna win, though."
"No, you're not," Draco says, putting down his first word.
"Yeah, I am."
"Let's play and see then."
"Ok, but you'll see. I'm gonna win."
"If you lose can I choke you?"
"Fuck off, no."
Draco collapses into another bout of laughter. "Ok, ok, I'll shut up and let you focus."
"Please do."
"Who drew this?"
Blaise springs into the Slytherin Common room clutching a piece of paper, grabbing the attention of their friends sitting around on the sofas.
"I did that," Pansy laughs from the corner she, Millicent and Daphne are huddled in.
"Let me see," says Crabbe.
Blaise walks towards him, but Draco snatches it out of her hand before she gets there.
"You drew this?" Draco says doubtfully, eyeing the detailed drawing of Professor McGonagall hanging upside down from a broomstick consumed by a hoard of black cats.
"Well, not really," says Pansy, getting up. "I learnt how to do it off Professor Lupin. Look, I'll show you."
They all crowd around the middle table. Crabbe and Goyle laugh as they see the mock-up.
"It's good, isn't it?" smirks Daphne proudly. "It was my idea."
Pansy elbows her. "Don't tell them that."
She laughs. "Sorry."
"Come on," says Draco. "Show us how to do it."
"Is this the hauriendam spell?" asks Blaise.
"Shut up, don't ruin it."
Pansy holds her wand over a clean piece of paper, her eyes squinting in concentration. She mutters under her breath, and a shockingly detailed image starts to form, two bodies entangled under the long benches of the Great Hall.
"Oh my fucking God," gasps Millicent. "Is that Proffesor Sprout and Filch?"
The students let out yells of laughter as the picture becomes whole. Once done, Pansy puts her wand down, grinning at the others' faces.
"It's good, isn't it?"
"God, yeah," says Daphne, squinting her eyes. "Maybe a bit too good, I'm not sure I want the image of Sprout and Filch shagging in the Great Hall imprinted into my brain."
"Teach us how to do it, Pansy," says Crabbe.
"Go and ask Professor Lupin yourself," she says. "I can't explain how to do it, it's too complicated."
"You could get people into so much trouble with that," Daphne grins. "And you got Professor Lupin to show you too." She nudges her. "Lucky you."
"Isn't he, like, forty?" scoffs Draco.
"Yeah, what are you saying Daphne, you've got a lovely young man right here," teases Pansy.
"I wouldn't say no to Professor Lupin, though," Daphne says, patting Draco's arm. "Sorry sweetie."
"Sweetie," Blaise snickers, silenced by a quick jab from Draco.
"Me neither, to be fair," says Millicent. "He's fit, like. Maybes he'll give you more one-to-one lessons, Pansy."
"I'm not doing more work just so I can shag a forty-year-old man," she retorts.
"He'd get fired," Blaise says.
"I wouldn't tell," shrugs Pansy.
"Me neither."
"Me three."
"See, Blaise," says Draco. "She'd be fine."
Blaise crosses their arms. "You're joking, right?"
"God, no," laughs Daphne. "I would let him do whatever he wants to me, but it's not going to happen so don't worry your little head about it."
"I'd do McGonagall," says Goyle, deadpan, the statement prompting various noises of disgust.
Blaise gives him a particularly venomous glare. "No, you would not."
"You are fucking kidding me," Draco sighs. "Every day you manage reach a new low, Goyle, it's almost impressive."
"She's married," Crabbe points out.
"Goyle, she's old enough to be your nan," Pansy says. "She's not going to fuck anyone her grandchildren's' age."
Goyle shrugs. "Might do."
"Nah, you're weird."
"I'm going to bed," says Draco, taking the unexpected moment of chaos to escape.
"Me too," says Daphne quickly after seeing
Millicent give her a pointed look.
"What are you doing?" says Crabbe as they leave.
"None of your business," calls Daphne over her shoulder, giving him the finger.
The couple enters the corridor, silence at last.
"I can't stand those two," Daphne mutters.
"Who?"
"Crabbe and Goyle. They're as thick as anything."
Draco shrugs. "Easy to be friends with."
"It's easy to be friends with inanimate objects too."
They pass the entrance to the Slytherin girl's dormitory, and Draco stops. "Are you not going up there?" he says as Daphne walks straight past it.
"I thought we were going up to your room," she says.
"Oh, right. Sure."
"You can't fool me; you don't look one bit tired."
"You got me," he says. "As entertaining as Pansy's drawings are."
"They're good, aren't they?"
"Yeah. She didn't actually say which spell it was, though."
"Ask Blaise," she says. "He'll know. He's a walking spell book, that man."
They get to Draco's bedroom, and he stops her at the door before they go in.
"Wait here a second."
She peeks around the door to see Draco hauling mountains of clothes into one of the draws.
"Ok, come in," he calls after about thirty seconds.
Daphne goes in, smiling at Draco standing in the middle of his room.
"Hi."
"Hi," he says, looking at her warily. After a long moment, he gives in and steps forward to kiss her. It was inevitable.
Daphne pulls away to take her shirt off, then leans back in. Draco continues kissing her, keeping his hands on her neck and cheeks. It's hard to imagine she's Ron with her height, drastically different body shape, and waist-length hair. He kisses her the same way he kisses Ron, but without the drive it makes the whole experience feel flat. For him at least.
"You ready?" she asks.
"For what?" He kicks himself the second the words leave his mouth. It's obvious what she means.
Daphne doesn't have to delve deep into his body language to gather the answer. He's still got his shirt buttoned to the top, and is standing half a foot away from her, hands by his side.
"It's fine," she says.
"Sorry," he says after a moment. "I'm really tired."
"No problem." She flops on his bed, grabbing a book from the bedside table. "I'm here if you change your mind."
Draco doesn't know how to react, whether to laugh or chat to her or to stay silent. He sits at his desk, eyeing the scrabble set he beat Ron on last week, his mood lifting.
He's due to meet Ron this evening as long as Daphne leaves before then. The thought makes his body feel lighter.
Daphne clears off about twenty minutes later, gathering that Draco wasn't about to jump on top of her or strike up a conversation, and returns to the Common room as the clock strikes ten.
Millicent and Blaise are still sitting on the long green sofa, drinking something from tall glasses.
"So?" says Millicent expectantly as Daphne enters, putting down her glass.
"He wasn't in the mood." She smiles to cover up her disappointment.
"Fuck's sake," she sighs. "Oh well. Maybe when you go to his house."
"Yeah, maybe. We had a bit of a kiss, though."
Blaise gives an unsubtle look of disgust. "I don't want to hear about it," it utters.
"Cute," Millicent says, ignoring Blaise. "Tongues?"
"Yup."
"It wasn't all bad, then."
"He's a bloody good kisser," grins Daphne.
Blaise covers his ears to the amusement of the girls.
"I bet he is."
"Blaise, if you were a girl would you try it on with Draco?" Daphne asks with a sweet smile.
"Impossible scenario," Blaise dismisses, downing the rest of xer drink. "I'm going to bed now."
"Want me to come too?" says Millicent, mocking Daphne's posh accent.
"No, thank you."
They leave the Common room, Daphne and Millicent dissolving into a fit of giggles.
The next day, Draco trundles down to the Slytherin Common room in search of Blaise ten minutes after the bell signalling the end of lunch went.
He opens to door to find Blaise hunched over one of the desks. "There you are," he says. "Professor McGonagall is wondering where you are."
"I'm here," says Blaise.
"She told me to come and get you."
"I'm not coming," Blaise says. "It's too loud in there."
"It's not that loud."
"Yes, it is."
Blaise doesn't move.
"So, what should I tell Professor McGonagall?" Draco asks after a moment. "She's not just going to let you sit in here the whole lesson."
Blaise shrugs. "Well, I'm not going back in there today, it's making me jumpy and I'll probably get called retarded."
"No one's going to call you that."
"They are if I'm doing this," Blaise says, referring to a sporadic movement in his neck, making their whole head snap back as well as balling and unbaling its hands.
Draco has seen her do the hands plenty of times before but never thought much of it, and the neck thing is neither here nor there. It does look out of the ordinary, he admits.
"Is it because you're stressed?" Draco asks.
"Yes," Blaise says. "I'll be fine by next lesson."
"Okay, I'll tell her that and if she doesn't believe me she can come up and check."
The colour of Blaise's bronze blanket covering them suddenly reminds him of Ron. "Oh actually, Blaise, can I ask you something? Or do you want to chill?"
"Ask me."
"This might be a stupid question," Draco starts. "But you know your pronouns?"
"Yes, I do."
"Are you non-binary? Since you want to be called they?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"Someone told me they're non-binary," Draco explains to show Blaise he means no harm. "And I don't really get it, but I want to learn."
"Who?" asks Blaise.
"No one in our dorm."
"Well, it must be someone important if you're asking me about it."
"Not necessarily."
Blaise gives him a look. "'I want to learn'," ze quotes. "You wouldn't be saying that about a friend because you don't care about anyone else enough to go out of your way to learn more. It can't be family because it's someone who's recently told you and we've been at school for weeks. Therefore, it must be a very close friend, which you don't have, or best friend, which would be me, or someone you have an alternate, one assumes romantic, interest in. By process of elimination, it must be the last option."
Draco blinks slowly, fold then unfolds his arms. "You're a bloody pain in the arse."
"An intelligent pain in the arse."
"Don't push it," he says as Blaise smiles smugly. "Now are you going to answer the damn question or are you going to sit there deducing my life away?"
"Remind me of the question."
"Are you non-binary?"
Blaise takes a moment to consider this. "I'm not sure," it says. "I don't know what I am, all I know is I'm not a man or a woman. I don't have a word for it."
"I thought non-binary was the word for not being a man or a woman?" Draco says.
"It is, I just don't find that term helpful," says Blaise. "I don't feel attached to any gender, it's not important to me. I'm fine with any pronouns, he, she, it, they, xe, or whatever."
"I see," says Draco. "So I can call you anything?"
"Yes," Blaise says. "I prefer a mix, but for the sake of the braindead students in our year, it's easier to stick to he and they. And safer. I can't imagine people would react well if I said I wanted to go by she and a bunch of made-up pronouns."
"Yeah, I get what you mean," says Draco. "So you want me to stick to he and they around everyone else?"
"Yes, please."
"Ok, sure," nods Draco. He still doesn't understand the concept, but in practice it seems straightforward.
"You said you wanted to learn about it," says Blaise. "So what exactly did you want to know?"
"I guess I wanted to know why you'd want to be non-binary or whatever you are instead of just being a man?"
"Oh, come on," Blaise snorts. "You can do better than that."
Draco looks back blankly.
"You think this is a choice? I didn't exactly choose to live in fear of being ostracised because of my gender my whole life, did I, Draco? And just because I don't get gender dysphoria, if you even know what that is, which I doubt, I'd rather not be grouped with the boys for everything when I'm not a fucking boy," Blaise says, although she seems unimpressed rather than irritated. "It's like being gay, but worse because you have to actually get people involved in your life in order to feel comfortable instead of them knowing who you prefer to shag. Whoever this person is, telling you, essentially coming out to you, would've been a big deal, but I don't suppose you realised that."
Draco clicks his tongue, annoyed with himself. Ron did seem far more on edge than usual now he thinks about it. He could've given them more reassurance than the lackluster you're still the same Ron, aren't you?
Blaise's expression softens as Draco frowns, deep in thought. "It's fine, as long as you supported them," she says.
"I tried to," Draco mutters.
Blaise shrugs. "That's all you can do. You don't need to understand it to be supportive, and you'll never understand it fully because you're not non-binary. All you need to do is listen to them, respect them, and call them whatever they want to be called."
"I'm doing that."
"Great," says Blaise. "That's good."
Draco nods to himself. He is listening to Ron and apparently that's all that counts.
"So, who's the special someone?" Blaise asks.
Draco groans. "There is no 'special someone'."
"I just deduced that there is," Blaise says. "You can't dispute empirical evidence-based theory."
"Empirical evidence my arse, I'll listen when you have a photograph of me six inches inside someone."
"Challenge accepted," Blaise grins.
"Wait, so if you aren't any gender does that mean you're gay?" Draco asks. "Because you can't technically be in a straight relationship."
"Do you really know nothing about me?" Blaise says, rolling xeir eyes.
Draco gives xem an exasperated look. "You've never told me shit about who you like."
"In what world do I look like a heterosexual man to you?" Blaise gestures to himself. "But that's beside the point. And I'm not the one getting with an enby, which is, dare I say, extremely homosexual of you. What about Daphne?"
"What about her?"
"I thought you two were together."
"We are." Draco realises this conversation could be getting himself into deep water on more than one account.
"She's non-binary?"
"No."
Blaise watches him go very still. "You're cheating on her?"
"No. You know what, forget it," Draco says, restraining himself from issuing a scathing threat. "I didn't say anything."
"Ok," Blaise says. "Just a reminder that cheating is widely considered morally wrong."
"Yeah, cheers Blaise, I never realised," says Draco. "I've got to get back to transfig now, I'll see you later."
"Wait," says Blaise.
Draco turns back. "What?"
"Was that spell on Padma to do with this secret person?"
"Fuck's sake, Blaise," Draco sighs.
She grins, satisfied with cracking the code. "I'm good, aren't I?"
"You're a bloody pain in the arse, that's what you are," Draco mutters. "I've seriously got to go now or McGonagall's going to lose her shit. I've been gone, like, ten minutes."
"Okay," says Blaise. "I'll see you in forty-two minutes."
"You took the words right out of my mouth," Draco says sarcastically. "I'll see you then."