Title: Journey of the Lonely Whale: Evolution (Month 12)
Author: Lisa (ljkwriting4life)
Rating: M. This story contains strong adult themes including references to violence, sexual references, and coarse language.
Pairing: Gil/Sara
Summary: One year since re-marrying, Gil and Sara return to San Diego to fulfil work commitments. While Sara becomes involved in a case that stirs memories of the past, she is also pushed by those around her to consider her future and her place in the world.
Notes: The JOTLW series aims to fill a gap between Immortality and CSI: Vegas. It does foreshadow CSI: Vegas and refers often to storylines established in the original CSI.
TWELVE
Nick cleared his throat at the table as Aaron declared, "Speech! Speech!"
Sara hid her face behind her hand as everyone laughed. The consensus seemed to be that Nick was going to indeed make a speech. He was sitting across from her, next to Aaron and Lochie, while Sophie was on Sara's left and Gil was on her right. They were in a long booth at the back of an Italian restaurant that Sara knew well. It was the restaurant Nick had taken them to after their wedding a year ago. That time Catherine had been with them, and it felt like a nice bookend that this time they were surrounded by some new friends, though Sara knew this wasn't the end at all.
Gil briefly gave her back a rub in support but he wasn't going to fight against the speech.
Sara watched as Nick unfolded a piece of paper. He cleared his throat for dramatic effect.
"I hereby declare," he said. "That Sara Sidle, CSI, has successfully completed her four weeks of work experience with the San Diego Crime Lab-"
There were a few chuckles at his choice of words, but Sara just smirked and shook her head.
"-fulfilling the minimum work requirements to maintain her registration as crime scene investigator extraordinaire, as outlined below, and this declaration is valid for the period stipulated by regulation. Congratulations." He playfully, stiffly, reached across the table to shake her hand, as everyone clapped. "Honestly, though," Nick said more naturally when they were done, and when Sara met his eyes with a gentler smile of her own. "It's been a pleasure, you know that. I know you probably still get hounded by Catherine to go back to Vegas, and we're really honoured you chose to come here for this past month, even if I know that's only so Gil can keep a close eye on the precious boat. You know we'd love to have you for longer, you're welcome back anytime to do this again, but I know you two are…set on having some fun and doing something new with this next phase of your lives after twenty years dusting for prints and sorting through trash."
"You make it sound so romantic," Sophie teased.
"Trust me, it was," Nick said as he looked between Sara and Gil. "You just had to be there."
Sara hid her face behind her hand again and glanced sideways at Gil. He was blushing too, but he wiggled his eyebrows playfully at her, and she looked up and laughed, as did everyone else at the table. She loved the way that Gil had relaxed into himself over the year. He didn't seem to mind being the oldest person at the table, he was touching her casually when the mood struck him and he'd held her hand as Sara introduced him to Aaron and Lochie and Sophie. He was just happy to be there, and she could tell how proud he was to be with her. She reached out and tenderly cupped his jaw in her right hand, feeling the soft prickle of his beard in her palm and the drumming of his pulse under her pinkie, before she returned to her attention to the table. Their pizzas had arrived.
"So, will you be back in six to twelve months for your next stint?" Aaron asked. "Or might you be wooed by another lab?"
"Oh, I think we like it here," Sara said. "Nick wasn't kidding about being close to the boat, but we also have a storage unit here that we dip in and out of, and we've found a building we'd want to stay in again, and so I think it's safe to say we'll be back. Not sure when, though."
"Somewhere within the next period stipulated by regulation," Gil said, taunting Nick with a smirk as Nick laughed and nodded.
"Yeah, I know better than to lock either of you down to a specific month, and I'm sure you'll get those research grants and be so busy every other month too. You just keep me in the loop."
Sara and Gil both nodded as they ate, and the conversation briefly turned toward the lab and some loose ends across various cases that Aaron and Nick mostly talked about together. Sara enjoyed just listening and not being the centre of attention, she was positive Gil was enjoying that too, but sometime later she noticed Lochie shift in his seat and he kicked Sophie under the table.
"Ow, seriously?" she asked. That got everyone's attention, and Lochie rolled his eyes.
"Oh, yeah," Nick said when he cottoned on to whatever was going on between them. He gestured from Sophie to Sara. "Go on, you can give it to her. I cleared it."
Sara turned in her seat and looked at Sophie curiously. Why would Nick need to clear anything Sophie might want to give her? In fact, at work that afternoon she had already given Sara a card with a very nice message and her personal email address in it, and Sara had promised to keep in touch with the young CSI. Aaron had done a quick whip-around and gotten her a gift voucher too, which Sara had been very thankful for, because she had been planning to take Gil shopping the next day anyway. They both badly needed new underwear and singlets before they set off on another long trip. It was not the most exciting way to spend a small gift voucher, but they had already done the exciting swanky clothes shopping at the expense of the more mundane, and it was a necessity.
"What's going on?" Sara asked.
Sophie bit her bottom lip warily and leant down to her handbag at her feet. She retrieved a small, wrapped parcel and a card.
"We had to unwrap it," Sophie said. "When it arrived. I re-wrapped it as best I could but it's not as nice."
"I don't mind about that," Sara said. She looked to Nick, who just smiled at her. "Who's it from?"
"Nita," Sophie said.
"The woman who survived the last home invasion, the one Sara processed at the hospital on Tuesday night?" Gil asked, though he knew that, and Sophie nodded.
"I was at the line-up with her on Wednesday afternoon and she asked where you were, and I uh, I said you had gone home for the day and it was your last week with us, in fact, and you and your husband have a boat and you travel all over, and I probably felt a bit nervous so I talked too much."
Sara grinned. She knew that feeling very well.
"She's kind of intimidating," Sophie continued. "In a good way, a bit like you. Anyway, this afternoon she came to the lab and found me and asked me to give this to you. I had to uh, clear it, there's a policy on gifts and all that."
"Sophie, you're still talking too much," Aaron said with a gentle smile. "Just give it to her."
Sophie held the card and parcel out, and Sara accepted them graciously. She put the small parcel on the table and then turned the envelope over in her hands once, twice, three times.
This wasn't normally allowed, she reasoned.
"It's not radioactive, Sara," Nick assured her while she stalled. "And I know what you're thinking and I'd never jeopardise a case to pass something like this on. But I've read it, and you're not going to need to testify in this case or have anything to do with what comes next from the legal side of it, you'll be miles away out at sea. I don't see why you can't have it."
Sara wasn't so much afraid of what the card said or what was in the parcel. She was worried about how she would react. Her interaction with Nita had thrown her off balance on Tuesday night. It had tapped into something Sara couldn't explain. She had felt a camaraderie with her and the conversation and energy between them had felt natural. It was the sort of interaction that, had it happened anywhere else, Sara might have felt like she was on the verge of making a new friend, too.
Maybe she was, she thought curiously. But she would never assume such a thing, nor would she take advantage of someone who had just been through so much. Nita didn't owe her anything.
"Oh, this is killing me!" Lochie exclaimed. "Just open it!"
"You should see us at Christmas," Gil replied in a droll voice.
Sara rolled her eyes at him as her new and old friends laughed.
"I think…I might open this when I get home," she declared. She looked to Sophie and Nick. "You all seem to know what it is, or says, so I don't need to perform this ritual here, is that right?"
"Sure, whatever you want," Nick said in a gentle voice. "When are you really leaving?"
"Monday," Gil said. "I've spent the past couple of days getting the boat ready, we've got some errands to run and things to do tomorrow, and I think Sunday we'll just try to have a quiet day. Monday we pack the bags, turn in the keys, and off we go. South America here we come."
Sara smiled at the enthusiasm in his voice. She couldn't wait for him to show her more of Peru, and to visit Chile for the first time, and she was most looking forward to getting back into a routine on the boat and reaching that point where one day bled into the next, and time stretched out, seemingly as infinite as the horizon at the end of the ocean. It was a different world, out there.
Sara had never expected to love it as much as she had, even though part of the appeal for her was in one day reaching those destinations and exploring the world on foot as well. She could whinge about the boat and its limits and rush ashore, but Gil was just happy being on the boat with her, and sometimes Sara felt like she was forcing him onto land. Still, they balanced each other out.
She kept him grounded, and he kept her afloat.
Sara wisely pressed her lips together and stored that thought up for later. Gil would love it. She reached for his hand under the table as she sat back in her chair and sighed, full and satisfied.
"Are you ready to go?" Gil asked her quietly.
"I think I am," she mumbled.
It had been a long last day at the lab, tidying things up, and Gil had spent the day doing inventory on the boat and packing the pantry and checking any last-minute maintenance issues. She appreciated that he wanted to spend Sunday relaxing, not stressing about the fact they were leaving. She wanted to feel organised about their departure too. She slid the card and present into the bag between her feet and gathered it into her lap.
"We might say our goodbyes," she announced, aware Gil would wait for her to make a move first. It was her party, after all. Nick announced that he would hang back and take care of the bill, and the others all chimed in that they would do the same. Sara appreciated that. She hugged Sophie tightly as the others all stood and scooted out of the booth and hovered, then Sara walked to hug Lochie. She shook Aaron's hand and laughed as he gave her a friendly kiss on the cheek and thanked her again for joining the team, and then she wrapped her arms around Nick and held on tightly.
She hated this part. Nick was one of the only people in the world besides Gil who she felt really knew her. Sometimes he asked questions she didn't want to answer and he pushed her to be better or to communicate in a way that made her uncomfortable, but he had a good heart, he was a good man, and she was his good friend too. As though to prove it he mumbled into her ear, "You know you're like a sister to me, right? The best sister, Sara."
Sara nodded hurriedly as in the background Gil quipped, "They do this every year too".
Gil was Mr Funny Man tonight, she thought on an emotional sigh. She didn't want to cry, not in front of everyone, not even in front of Nick. She suspected Gil understood that.
"I feel the same way," she promised Nick as she squeezed his broad shoulders. "I'll be back." She took a step back and looked into his teary eyes. "And I want life updates," she said. "Email me."
"Yeah, and let us know if you get those grants, so we can follow along with where you're at."
Sara nodded, then stepped back so Nick and Gil could embrace as well. They were a bit more manly about it but Nick and Catherine were the only other people in the world Gil hugged, so it meant just as much for him to have that personal moment with his old student, now Lab Director. It was reassuring to know Gil also felt like he had people he could turn to if he was ever without her.
Sara was sitting in their bed and fastening the beaded chain around her left ankle when Gil returned from cleaning his teeth. He had changed into his pyjamas, Sara was already in hers, and while she was alone she had finally opened her card and unwrapped her gift.
"Is this the present?" Gil asked curiously as he hurried to her. He climbed onto the bed and leant down to take a closer look. "Lapis lazuli?" he asked.
"My God, Gil," Sara said, laughing happily at him. He raised his eyebrows into his forehead and looked into her eyes from his position by her ankle, and she reached down to stroke his cheek and his beard. "Most men would take one look and just say, 'It's blue'."
Gil grimaced and rolled his eyes.
"You didn't marry 'most men'," he said. "And it is blue, but I thought that was obvious."
"Yeah, yeah," she playfully huffed under her breath. "What do you think?"
It was a simple beaded strand, with a silver clasp and extra chain for an adjustable length, but Sara's ankle was petite and so the extra chain dangled an inch below the clasp. The small beads were all a sparkling, deep royal blue, with slight variations in lustre and color, and Gil was right of course, the extra note tucked in the card said the stones were lapis lazuli.
"So, as it turns out," Sara said as she showed him the card and note. The card explained everything, and Sara recounted it. "Nita makes jewellery like this and sells it, that's what she does on the side. She said she had just finished this one on Tuesday night before the break-in, and she made it on a whim. After she met me, she realised she had made it for me, and I was meant to have it. She wasn't sure if it would be all right, but she decided she couldn't let me leave without it."
"That's very nice," Gil said. "Funny how those feelings work in hindsight sometimes."
"The little note is what she would normally send out with something made with these beads, and it's got her online store contact details on it," Sara said. "I'd like to give her something in return, so it feels less like a gift from a witness and more equal. I don't think she would accept any money for it, but I thought I might see if there's a charity she supports, that I could donate the amount to."
"That's actually a good idea," Gil said.
Sara stared at him plainly.
"Why do you sound so surprised?" she asked.
He laughed and shook his head, his eyes glittered with good humour as he held her ankle and the top of her bare foot.
"Honey, you surprise me every day," he assured her. He pressed a kiss to her ankle, just below the line of the royal blue anklet, where a faded black tattoo of the sun also decorated her skin. Sara cocked her head to the side and smiled at the tender gesture.
Sara liked the feel of the jewellery as he touched it, she liked the look of it above her old tattoo. She hadn't worn an anklet since college, not since that tattoo had been dark and fresh.
"I love this ankle even more now," Gil said. He crawled up the bed and lay on his stomach facing her. He was propped up on his elbows and still held the card and the small information note about the jewellery in his hands. "So, this is what it means, is it? Let's see then. Lapis lazuli. Water element. Throat or third eye chakra. For friendship, awareness, connection, communication, empathy, truth, inner power, wisdom, and love."
"I suppose that's what it's meant to help with, yes," Sara said.
She looked at him, prepared to see the doubt wafting out of his pores.
Gil pressed his lips together and raised his eyebrows sceptically, and Sara held her breath and grimaced. Then his expression softened, and she realised she'd been had.
"Sounds about right to me, darlin'," he said, easy as can be. "Maybe it was made for you."
"You're not annoyed I'm keeping it?" she asked.
"No," he said. He shrugged. "Nick's right, ultimately he's the one applying the city policy, we'll be long gone, and based on what I know of the case, it's going to plead out anyway and there won't be a trial. Even if there was, Nita's testimony isn't the one thing holding a conviction together. I know you had a connection with this woman, Sara. You shouldn't feel ashamed about that. It's okay, like I said-"
"It's a gift," she said, finishing his sentence for him. He nodded and shrugged again.
"Plus," he added. "It matches your new blue suit jacket."
"The one that I'm putting in storage tomorrow and that I will probably never wear."
"You'll find a reason," he assured her. "I liked you in it too," he admitted. He gestured to the blue colored stones around her ankle. "And now I know why. It was your throat chakra, calling out to me."
Sara laughed. He looked and sounded utterly sincere. She had no idea whether he genuinely didn't know what he was talking about or whether he was deliberately trying to be funny, but it didn't matter at all. He looked so cute as he held himself up on his arms and stared at her in earnest. Sara reached for him and slid down in the bed. She whispered for him to come to her and urged his body onto hers. Gil just whispered her name as she wrapped her arms around him and they kissed.
Not a minute later, as their bodies lovingly shifted around and they settled into a familiar position, Gil broke the kiss and exclaimed, "Oh, I feel its mystical love powers working already!"
Sara had not laughed so hard in long time.
She had to push Gil off her so she could roll over and gasp for air. Gil ended up on his back, chuckling happily to himself as Sara sat up to breathe.
"I don't know if you had too much to drink," she teased, still so choked she hardly had a voice. "Or if Nick laced your pizza, or if you're just ecstatic it's over and we're leaving. I know you've been in a stellar mood all night and I love it but you have to stop, I'm begging you, you'll kill me."
"Okay, okay," he promised, still laughing himself, though in a more measured way. "We don't want that, and I definitely don't want you to… I mean, I want you to choose to wear it-"
"Good, because I'm going to wear it, no matter what you think," she declared. She lifted her foot onto the mattress and leant around her raised knee to look at it again. "It feels good," she said.
"Good," Gil repeated. He hesitated. "But, you know you don't need it, right? All those things, you already have. Everything you need is already inside you, but there's nothing wrong with a visu-"
Sara snorted out a laugh again and Gil just stopped mid-sentence and frowned at her.
"What did I say now?" he asked, this time genuinely confused.
"Not everything I need is inside me," she said, attempting to be seductive but failing miserably because she was still laughing.
"And what was on your pizza?" Gil asked. He reached for the pillow behind his head and playfully threw it at her. Sara grabbed it and took a breath to calm down. She put his pillow back and then lay on her side with her head on her own pillow. "Lights out?" Gil asked once he saw she was calm and comfortable. She smiled a little and nodded, and he got out of bed to switch off the lamps. Sara sighed happily when he joined her in the dark.
"I am actually too tired to do anything about that absence now, sorry," she admitted. "But I needed that laugh."
"Me too," he agreed. "I like it when you laugh, but I won't make fun of your anklet again. It's a beautiful present and you should appreciate it. I couldn't help myself. You were expecting the scepticism."
"I was," Sara agreed. Just not delivered with quite so much gusto, she thought happily.
"But I wasn't joking when I said all those qualities sounded about right to me."
"I know, darling, thank you," she whispered.
"And I like that this woman you only met for a short time obviously got to see what I see."
"I felt that, when I was talking to her," Sara tried to explain. "I felt like we saw each other."
"I see you," Gil whispered. He reached for her hand and held it between them on the bed.
"I know, sweetheart. I see you too. You're a kind, loyal, patient-"
"Oh, is it my turn now?" he quipped, interrupting her at just the right moment.
Sara glared at him in the dark, second-guessing her approach, but Gil's hand was still lightly holding hers. Their fingers danced in a slow and gentle caress against the sheet between them.
"Very clever," she continued pointedly. She just had to shake her head at this point, and Gil chuckled. "Stubborn," she added because they were both that too. "Adventurous, happy, loving, and handsome man, and all mine." She smiled in the dark, a little nervous she hadn't pulled this off quite as well as he had a few days ago. She had felt rather swept off her feet in that passionate moment, and this was more deliberate and quieter, but that was all right too. She enjoyed holding his hand.
"Thank you," he said after a moment of quiet between them. "I think this trip has been good for us. But if we get the funding, I don't know if I'll always be able to come back with you."
"I know," Sara whispered. She felt sad about that, it wouldn't be the same. "We'll figure it out. Even when we're apart we're together, right? Team Grissom."
Gil nodded against his pillow. Sara stretched her free hand across the space between them to touch his face, his shoulder and arm. She could just make out her wedding ring against his skin.
"Thank you for coming here with me this time," she said. "Life sort of gets suspended at sea, doesn't it? It's not until coming back you realise how much things have changed, or not."
"Yes," Gil admitted. He propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at her.
"Some days, I felt like I had aged ten years in a year, other days it felt like no time has passed at all."
"You have not aged ten years in a year," Gil assured her. He huffed and rolled his eyes.
Sara laughed lightly. She hadn't meant that to sound like a criticism of their wonderful year together at all, and but for the extra grey hairs beneath her color and the reading glasses by the bed she still looked much the same as she had the day she found him at the marina in San Diego.
"I know," Sara said. "It's to do with how other people make me feel, and the conversations they have with me, and how I see myself in relation to them, and that has changed, Gil. I've changed. We both have."
She thought about the string of blue gemstone beads she could faintly feel around her ankle.
"Maybe it's not a bad thing, though," she acknowledged. She would thank Nita for the reminder.
"It's a very good thing," Gil said. "Evolution. Embrace it, honey, and just hang on for the ride."
"I plan to," she assured him with a grin. "I think coming back here for work will always be…more complicated than I expect," she concluded. "But also, more rewarding than I assume."
"Until next time, then?" Gil asked hopefully. He squeezed her hand, and when Sara nodded and they shared a hopeful smile he leant down and kissed her. She held his face to keep him close.
"Until next time," she agreed.