The town – three months later
Daryl and Glenn carefully moved down the aisles of the bookstore as Glenn shined the flashlight and Daryl held the crossbow in his hands. They walked around the corner as they checked for Walkers when Daryl saw they were in the expecting mother's section and he walked to the bookshelf. He placed the crossbow against his back as he pushed the button on the flashlight and he shined the light on the books.
"What are you looking at?" Glenn whispered.
"Think we need one of these?" Daryl asked, pointing to the parenting books.
"Hershel told me those books are helpful, but the best parenting comes from within."
"What does that mean?"
"I have no clue."
Daryl placed two parenting books in the satchel Glenn brought with him and they headed down the aisle. They entered the children's section as they looked around and Daryl found a teddy bear in a box. The teddy had light brown faux fur, sewn brown eyes and nose and the mouth was smiling.
"You gonna take that?" Glenn asked.
"Yep," Daryl whispered with a nod. He walked to the teen section as he looked at the books and he found the rest of the books in the series he had given to Sophia. He picked up the books when he walked to Glenn and he placed the books in the satchel. "Want me to carry that?"
"Yeah," Glenn said with a nod. Daryl removed the satchel as he placed the strap over his left shoulder as they headed for the exit then Daryl stopped. On the table, wrapped in plastic, was a flannel blanket with Cherokee Roses printed on it. He picked up the flannel blanket while he looked at Glenn and Glenn smiled.
"She keeps sayin' she's cold," Daryl said with a shrug. They walked outside when they headed for the SUV and T-Dog was leaning against the side of the SUV.
"Find anything?" T-Dog asked.
"Yep," Glenn said. "How about you?"
"Found some edible food in one of the stores."
"Let's go," Daryl said, placing the satchel in the back of the SUV. They got in the SUV when T-Dog started the engine and the SUV headed down the street. Daryl looked out the window as he leaned his head against the glass and his mind started drifting.
The farmhouse – a month before
"Carol, are you ok?" Daryl asked, knocking on the door to the bathroom. He knew she hadn't been feeling good. Neither had Maggie. They were concerned that both of them were ill and Daryl felt useless.
Otis had found a clinic nearby and Hershel had taken Carol and Maggie there for some tests.
"Yeah. I'm fine," Carol said, but he didn't believe her.
"Open the door."
Carol opened the door as he walked in the bathroom and he noticed Carol had been crying. He pulled her in for a hug as she placed her face against his chest and he rocked her.
"Please tell me what's wrong," he said and she looked at him.
"I'm late," she said.
"Late fer what?"
Most times she enjoyed his trying to be funny, but she broke into tears and he held her tighter.
"Sorry," he repeated while Hershel walked in the room and Daryl looked at him.
"There you two are," Hershel said.
"Did you finish the tests?"
"Yes, I did. That's why I was looking for you."
"Do you know what's wrong with her?"
"Yes, I do."
"I think I know," Carol said, looking at Daryl.
"She said she was late," Daryl said.
"Maggie said the same thing," Hershel said. "Which is normal."
"Normal?"
"Daryl," Carol said and he frowned. "I think I'm going to have a baby."
"She's right," Hershel said.
"Wait. I'm right!?"
"Yes. You and Maggie are both pregnant."
Daryl felt like his feet were kicked out from under him.
"She… She's havin' a baby," Daryl whispered.
Carol saw the tears rolling down his cheeks as she smiled and he sniffed.
"Is Maggie alright?" Carol asked.
"Yes, she's fine. But I am going to keep an eye on both of you," Hershel said then he turned, leaving the room. Carol wiped the tears from Daryl's eyes as he lowered his head to kiss her and she held the back of his head in her right hand.
"Daryl?" made him looked at Glenn and Daryl saw the concern in his eyes.
"Just thinkin' about Carol," Daryl said.
"Is she ok?" T-Dog asked.
"Yeah," he said with a nod.
"Maggie keeps complaining about her feet hurting. Hershel said her mom used to do that," Glenn said.
"Carol does that. Rubbin' her feet helps."
"I ask Maggie if she wants me to do that. She said no."
They became quiet as the SUV headed down the street and Daryl looked out the window again.
The Green Farm
The SUV stopped in front of the farmhouse while the doors opened and Glenn, T-Dog and Daryl got out of the SUV.
"Hey! You're back!" Lori said, slowly walking to them. They were all concerned. Rick had told them about Lori needing a C-Section when she was pregnant with Carl and Hershel had wanted her and Rick to go to the clinic. She refused. She knew it was a risk, but she felt like everything was going to be fine.
"Yeah," T-Dog said with a nod.
"Find anything?"
"We found some food and Daryl and I found some books," Glen said.
"Need any help taking stuff inside?" Lori asked.
"No. We're fine," T-Dog said.
Lori watched them taking the satchels inside when she suddenly felt a contraction hit her and she gasped.
"Lori, are you ok?" Daryl asked, walking closer.
"Uh… I think I just had a contraction," Lori said and T-Dog and Glenn dropped the satchels.
"Where's Rick?" Glenn asked.
"He and Otis went on a patrol."
"Where?" T-Dog asked.
"In the woods. That way," she said as she pointed then she moaned as another contraction hit. She was surprised when Daryl dropped the crossbow onto the ground so he could scoop her into his arms and he looked at Glenn and T-Dog.
"You go find 'em. I'll take her inside," Daryl said.
Glenn and T-Dog nodded then ran off as Daryl carried her up the stairs and Patricia opened the door. She had seen Glenn, Daryl and T-Dog talking with Lori when she saw the pained look on Lori's face and she stood back so Daryl could carry Lori inside.
"I sent Jimmy to get Hershel, Beth and Maggie," Patricia said and Daryl nodded.
Daryl headed for the hallway when he stopped at the doorway to his bedroom and Lori looked at him.
"No," she said with a shake of her head.
"It's closest," Daryl said.
"But this is your and Carol's room."
"Yeah. Sorry about the mess," he said, looking at the unmade bed. He carried her to the bed when he placed Lori down on the mattress then he removed her shoes, placing the shoes on the floor.
A few seconds later, Hershel, Beth, Maggie and Patricia arrived and Daryl moved out of the way so Hershel could examine Lori.
"Daryl, where are you going?" Lori asked after seeing him head for the door.
"Just goin' to see if Rick's back," Daryl said.
"No! I need you!"
"I haven't showered today."
"Go take a quick shower then come back," Maggie said.
Nodding, Daryl left the room when he headed for the bathroom and walked in the room. After closing the door and getting undressed, he turned the handles to get the water going and he stood under the water. He placed his hands on the wall while he placed his head down and he let the water move down his back.
"What're you freakin' out about? It ain't yer kid," Merle's voice said in his head and Daryl shook his head.
"Don't matter. Still scared," Daryl grumbled.
"You were always the soft one, Little Brother."
"Bein' soft ain't a bad thing."
His head became quiet as he washed off then he turned the water off, moved the shower curtain back and he had seen Patricia had placed some clean clothes on the top of the clean towels. After drying off and getting dressed, Daryl went back in the room and Lori smiled at him.
"How're you doin'?" he asked, walking to the bed.
"I'm ok, but the baby's kicking up a storm," Lori said with a small smile.
"Where'd everyone go?"
"Hershel went to get a few things. Beth, Maggie and Patricia are getting some towels."
Nodding, Daryl went around to the other side of the bed and he went to sit next to her. Lori was sweating and he saw the pain in her eyes. He felt his stomach tightening as he sighed and she reached for his left hand. He slid her hand in his as he wrapped their fingers together and she smiled at him.
"Think of this as practice," she said and he nodded. The contraction hit as she squeezed his hand and she closed her eyes. The contraction passed as she let go of his hand and Daryl wiggled his fingers. "Sorry."
"We're good."
They became quiet when she looked at him and he saw the look in her eyes.
"Daryl, I need you to promise me something," she said with a serious tone and he frowned. "If something happens to me…"
"Ain't nothin' gonna happen to you," he said.
"If it does, I want you to promise me you'll look after Rick, Carl and the baby."
"Lori…"
"Please!"
"Fine. I promise to look after 'em," he said as he looked at her baby bump. Lori smiled when he placed his right hand on the baby bump and the sound of running came from the hallway.
"Lori!?" Rick called out. Daryl got off the bed when he headed for the door and he saw Rick and Carl running down the hallway.
"She's in here," Daryl said, moving into the hallway.
"You put her in your room?!"
"It was closest."
"We'll get you a new mattress and bedding."
Nodding, Daryl watched Rick and Carl go in the room then Daryl walked down the hallway and he saw the others in the living room. Carol was sitting on the couch with Sophia as he walked to the couch and he went to sit with them.
Hours passed while they waited and Daryl had his left arm around Carol's shoulders. The sound of a baby crying filled the air as they all looked at each other and Daryl stood. He started heading for the hallway when Maggie, Beth and Carl appeared and Maggie was holding something wrapped in a baby blanket.
"It's a girl," Maggie said with a small smile.
"How's Lori?" Otis asked.
"She fine. Dad's just finishing up," she said when she looked at Daryl and she walked to him. "Want to hold her?"
"Has Rick held her yet?" Daryl asked.
"Yeah."
"Then Glenn should go first."
"No. It's ok," Glenn said with a shake of his head.
"I'll got make a bottle," Beth said.
"Why isn't she breastfeeding?" Carol asked, walking to Daryl.
"She's too tired," Beth said then she went into the kitchen.
Daryl looked at the baby when he gently scooped her into his arms and he held her against him. He looked down at the little round face as the baby whimpered and he hushed her.
"Hey there," he said in a soft voice. Beth returned with the bottle as he held out his right hand, switched the baby so the baby rested on his left arm then he looked at the baby. He tried to feed her, but she didn't seem to be hungry and he frowned. "Come on. It's ok. Give it a try."
Soon the baby started suckling as he smiled and he gently rocked her.
"There you go," he whispered a few times then he looked at Carl. "She got a name?"
"We only had boys' names picked out," Carl said with a shrug. "The only girl names we could think of were…"
He looked at Andrea when he sighed and she wondered what was wrong.
"Amy."
Andrea's eyes widened and she smiled.
"Miranda, Eliza or Jacqui."
Daryl rocked the baby when he smiled at what he wanted to call her and Carol wondered what was so funny.
"How about Little Ass Kicker?" Daryl asked while rocking the baby and he smiled at her. "Yeah. You like that? Huh? Little Ass Kicker. Right? That's a good name, right? Lil' Ass Kicker. You like that, huh? You like that, Sweetheart?"
"Daryl….," Carol said with a laugh and he frowned.
"What's wrong with it?"
"What's wrong with what?" Rick asked, walking closer.
"Daryl wants to call the baby "Little Ass Kicker"," Carl explained and Rick arched an eyebrow.
"No."
"Well, she's Little Ass Kicker to me," Daryl said while walking to Glenn and Glenn looked from him to the baby then back. "Here."
"Uh…," Glenn said then he took the baby from Daryl.
"How's Lori?" Sophia asked.
"She's fine," Rick said.
"Can we go see her?" Andrea asked.
"Not right now," Rick said, looking at Daryl.
"What?" Daryl asked.
"She wants to see you," he whispered.
Nodding, Daryl watched everyone gather around Glenn and the baby when Daryl headed down the hallway and he nodded to Patricia and Hershel before he went into the room. He knocked on the doorframe to get her attention and Lori looked at him.
"Hey," he grumbled.
"Hey," she said in a tired voice.
"Rick said you wanna see me?"
"Yeah,"
He walked in the room as he saw how tired she looked and he sat on the chair next to the bed.
"Told you you'd be ok," Daryl said.
"Yeah, you did," Lori said and he noticed the confused look on her face. "It was weird. I thought for sure I would have to have another C-Section. But she just came out."
"Maybe she knew," he said with a shrug of his shoulders.
"She knew what?"
"That her mama would leave her if she didn't come out the right way."
"Maybe."
"What did Hershel say?"
"She's healthy and has all her parts," Lori said with a smile. "He also said I need to stay in bed. Just to make sure I don't start bleeding or get sick."
"Ok," he said with a nod.
"Rick said they made a room for you and Carol in the ranch house."
"Ok."
Lori watched him get up when he sat on the edge of the bed, lightly lifted her up so he could hug her and she held him. He sniffed as she moved back and he blinked the tears out of his eyes.
"Those happy tears?" she asked with a small grin.
"Yeah," he said with a nod then he hugged her again.
"Sorry about the bed."
"Might take a bit, but we can replace the mattress an' the beddin'. We can't replace you."
Lori started crying as he rocked her, but neither saw Rick standing in the doorway.
"He's right," Rick thought, turning and he walked down the hallway.
Later that night- the ranch house
Daryl rested on his left side while he watched Carol sleeping and he looked at the baby bump.
He thought about holding Little Ass Kicker and he smiled.
Rick and Lori had decided to call her "Judith" and Rick told him Judith was the name of Carl's teacher.
Daryl admitted he liked the name, but he was still going to call her "Little Ass Kicker".
"Nothing wrong with that," Rick told him.
The problem was his arms felt empty.
He knew it would be another six months before he could hold his own child, but he was happy that Rick said he could hold Judith anytime he wanted.
He yawned as he lightly shook his head and his mind started drifting.
He saw himself holding a tiny baby in his arms.
He didn't know if it was a boy or girl.
He didn't care.
This was his child.
"I ain't gonna be the last Dixon anymore," he whispered.
"Why would you think that?" Merle's voice asked in his head. "You that sure I'm dead? I could still be alive."
"If you were, you would've shown up by now."
His mind then showed him a small toddler moving toward him and he lifted the toddler into the air. The toddler was wearing jeans, a white t-shirt with food stains on the front and tiny work boots. The toddler had Carol's hair, but his eyes and the toddler laughed, clapping the tiny hands.
"Aw, ain't that precious! You do know all this shit ain't gonna last, right?" Merle's voice asked in his head.
"Shut up," Daryl grumbled.
"I'm just tellin' the truth."
"No, you ain't."
"Think about it. What sort of life is yer kid gonna have? There ain't nothing out there, but death."
"Leave me be!"
"Daryl, what's wrong?" Carol asked in a sleepy voice as she rolled onto her right side.
"Sorry," he said and she could just see the guilty look for waking her on his face.
"Talk to me."
"Was… Was just thinkin'."
"About what?"
"About the baby."
"Judith's fine."
"Not her," he said, moving his fingers over the baby bump.
"Oh."
"Look, I know this world ain't a proper place to raise a kid…"
"No, it's not."
"But I wanna believe it'll be safe enough fer Judith. Fer Glenn an' Maggie's baby. An' fer Carl, Sophia an' our baby."
"There is no reason not to believe that."
"It's hard. We've lost so many people. An' not just to Walkers. I'm gettin' tired of losin' people."
They became quiet as he lightly rubbed the baby bump and she kissed his head.
"I forgot to ask you something," she said and he looked at her. "How did you know how to feed a baby?"
He just looked at her as something he hadn't thought about in a long time filled his head and he felt his stomach tightening. She noticed his eyes were half-open as he sighed then he lowered his head.
"I… I learned how from… I was…," he said then he sighed. "I was an uncle once."
'You mean Merle was…? He was a father?"
"He thought he was."
She waited for him to talk as he moved closer and she held him.
"Her name was Natalie. Merle met her in a bar. She hung out with us fer a while. Then she was gone. Months later, she shows up. Tells Merle the baby in her belly was his. Merle said it wasn't. They fought then she screamed."
"She went into labor?"
"Yeah. She doubles over then she starts bleedin'. Merle wanted to run. She begged him fer help. We took her to the hospital. The doctor said she was in labor, but it was too early fer her to deliver. Again, Merle wanted to run. I told him he needed to stay so he could find out if the baby was his or not. He told the doctor he wasn't sure he was the father an' wanted one of those tests where you find out. The doctor said he'd do it. Nat gave birth a few hours later."
"Was it a boy or a girl?"
"She had a boy. He was so tiny. They put him in one of those box things."
"You mean an incubator?"
"Yeah," he said with a nod. "He was covered in tubes an' wires an' there was this weird light shinin' on him."
"Did Merle ever see the baby?"
"Nope. He just got wasted an' drunk. I went to the hospital though. One day, I asked the nurse to show me how to feed a baby. You know. In case we were able to take the baby home. She said it was against the rules, but she kind of liked me. So, she got me in one of those surgery gowns an' gloves. We went in the nursery an' she let me feed some of the babies. Wasn't really that hard. She said I was a natural."
Carol could just see him smile and she kissed his head again.
"Did Natalie ever see the baby?"
"No."
"Did you ever go see her?"
"Yeah. She tossed a pillow at me. Screamed shit about her goin' into labor early was Merle's fault. That she hated him. That he had given her the clap."
"Oh."
They became quiet as what happened next moved through his head and Daryl sighed.
"A few days later, I went to the hospital. I was headin' fer the nursery when I heard Nat screamin'. I went to see what was wrong. She outta her head. Callin' Merle an asshole an' she said he was a murderer."
"Why would she say that?"
"I asked the nurse who came outta the room. She told me the baby died."
"Oh."
"I went back to where we were stayin' an' I told Merle what happened. He sobered up really quick. He said we had to pack our shit an' get the hell outta town."
'What happened to Natalie?"
"Merle said he heard she ODed on some shit."
Carol heard the pain in his voice. She moved closer as their heads touched and he sniffed. She rubbed his shoulder as he blinked his eyes a few times and he sighed.
"Did Merle find out if he was the father?" Carol asked.
"Yeah. He said it wasn't his," Daryl said.
"But you wanted it to be his?"
"Yeah."
Yawning, he closed his eyes as she kept rubbing his shoulder and he felt his body relaxing.
"Well, you are most definitely this baby's father."
"I know," he grumbled.
"You are going to be a great dad."
"Already am."
Carol knew he was talking about Sophia as she kissed the tip of his nose and he smiled.
"Thank you for giving me this baby," she whispered.
"You're welcome."
His voice was turning child-like as he started to drift off to sleep and she reached his hand down to touch the baby bump. His fingers moved over the baby bump and he slightly moved his head.
"Can you feel it?" he grumbled.
"Sometimes."
"Does it hurt?"
"Only when the baby kicks me in the kidneys," she teased and he softly tapped his right index finger against the baby bump.
"Don't hurt Mama," he grumbled, yawned and she could just see his face relaxing. She watched him sleeping then she closed her eyes, placing her hand on top of his.