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Chapter 3

Floating Castle Aincrad, 10th Floor.

January 30th, 2023, 5:40 PM

For the second time in two days, pure instinct saved the Info Broker known as Argo the Rat from certain and immediate death.

While still dashing ahead but wandering around the 10th floor aimlessly, she was still reeling from the revelation that her best friend once had a crush on her (thanks to her unintended eavesdropping) and she didn't realize it at the time. 'So that's why he acted all shy and weird(er) than normal that Valentine's Day!' she thought inwardly, mainly because she had more than a crush on him since almost the day they had met. Only the part about her confessing her feelings again after it went so horribly wrong the first time (despite Kazuto's insistence that it was more of a blessing in disguise if for no one else but the other boy) kept her from doing so again, afraid that it would likely ruin the friendship that had blossomed from their chance (if not bizarre) meeting all those years ago.

Soon she was wondering if she had missed her chance. With the way things were going, she was almost positive that Asuna would be the one to win his heart now. Yeah, she could be snappy from time to time and he could be rash and rush headlong into danger almost on instinct, but Argo could plainly see how they seemed to balance each other out. Asuna's levelheaded assessment when taking action vs. Kirito's acting-before-thinking philosophy... her naiveté about virtually anything game related against his almost encyclopedic knowledge, and almost the exact opposite about anything real world related... their almost perfect synchronization despite different builds and playsty--

Suddenly everything in her virtual being screamed DODGE!!! before she dropped into a leg slide and narrowly avoided being beheaded yet again, although the hooded cloak she was wearing suddenly didn't have most of its hood anymore. As she came to a stop and looked back, she found an ominous figure wearing what looked like a black, oversized poncho wielding a short handled axe standing back up from where the remainder of her hood lay on the ground before breaking into polygons, her previous thoughts fading along with it.

"Gotta say, didn't expect you to dodge that so easily. Bravo!" the man said almost cheerfully.

After noticing the bright red cursor over the strange looking man's head, Argo's eyes darted around looking for other possible traps and/or ambush spots. Attempting to plot an escape route she almost nonchalantly replyed "never 'spected ta see someone as famous as ya are ta come lookin' fer lil' ol' me, o mighty Prince of Hell!"

The man was clearly not expecting that as he reeled back and snarled "how the fuck do you know that!"

"That'll be 20,000 col fer an answer!" she commented while discretely equipping her claws on her left hand and throwing picks in her right, under what was left of her cloak.

"Are you seriously fucking with me right now?" the man deadpanned.

"Course not" she said "but I'll give ya this bit fer free. Yer henchmen need ta work on their Hiding skill. 'Specially th' two hidin' behind th' tree an' bush there" nodding to her right.

Almost on cue, the two aforementioned players in question stepped out from behind their cover into the darkening twilight, both wearing similar oversized cloaks as their leader, except red glowing eyes seemed to peer from one while the other seemed to be completely void, almost looking spectral with his erratic movements.

"Told ya we should've practiced more!" the Void snapped at Red Eyes, orange cursor following his bizarre movements.

"Doesn't matter. At least we'll still get to have some fun with her before we're through" the latter responded, red cursor matching his master.

"That'll cost ya 500,000 col, if ya can catch me, that is" Argo shot back at Red Eyes, readying herself to bolt at the first chance she got.

"Your reputation precedes you, little mouse" the Prince of Hell declared "but your Detection skill still needs work if these two are all you found~" he teased in a singsong manner, his snapping fingers as the signal that let several other players emerge from their various hiding spots, now totaling seven in all, leaving the Rat well and truly surrounded.

"Heh. Didn't think yer group of misfits were so under leveled that ya needed so many fer a single player, PoH" Argo declared, readying a defensive stance, still keeping an eye out for any chance to escape her current situation alive.

"Oh, this?" PoH gestured to the men surrounding them. "We were actually waiting for a guild to come by soon, actually. But you being an unexpected appetizer before the main course will surely fire my boys up enough to have lots of fun when they do arrive. Not to mention, I can only imagine how shaken everyone else will become at their most important source of survival suddenly disappearing from here. Maybe even enough to spur on another suicide wave like in the beginning" he was smiling almost gleefully at the prospect. "I can only imagine how HE will react at the news that several of his friends won't be around come the sunrise. Especially after the wreck he has been looking like lately, I have a feeling his fragile mind might just collapse altogether from the news!" He laughed manically at the last statement, several of his followers joining in with him.

Argo had been inching towards the largest gap between the players fencing her in during the madman's monologue but froze at the last part. Surely he didn't mean...

"Who th' hell are ya ramblin' on about?" She attempted to ask without emotion, barely able to keep her growing dread from leaking out with her words.

"Why, the infamous Black Swordsman of course!" PoH said like it was the most obvious answer in the world. "Showing Blackie how pointless his endeavors are to free everyone, and proving how alike he and I really are is one of the cornerstones of this little group I've put together. I've even settled on a name. Laughing Coffin!" he declared, his men shouting in agreement.

She was truly frozen now. All of this just to get at one player? Her closest friend? Just because he was basically spearheading the effort to escape this virtual prison? 'But why would--'

She was so distracted by everything he boasted that she didn't realize one of his men had snuck up behind her until it was almost too late, the glow of his Horizontal sword skill being the only telltale to his presence before striking. Barely jumping in time to avoid the deadly blow, he was still able to hit her, but it was only her leg instead of the back of her neck like he was hoping for.

Yelling in surprise rather than pain, she continued her jump, backflipping over the man, slicing his unprotected arm in retaliation, and attempted to land behind him... only to discover that the leg he hit wasn't there anymore. Leaving a pixelated stump just below her knee and causing her to overbalance and continue her momentum backwards, she landed unceremoniously on her tailbone... and completely open to attack.

"Don't let her escape!" PoH commanded, stirring everyone else into action to stop the downed Rat before she could escape, or worse, let someone know of his plans prematurely.

To her credit, she reacted quickly. Thanks to her agility stat being reinforced as it was, she was able to activate her Throwing skill enough to launch the three throwing picks she had in hand at the charging players, hitting two, one critically, and making another stop to block her final pick before scrambling on her three remaining limbs to the nearest tree and using her claws to almost fly up it. The branches all but completely obscured her from her pursuers, using the lack of sunlight to help hide her further.

Breathing heavily, she did her level best to stay still as to not reveal her location after downing a bitter health potion, hoping her leg would regenerate in time for her to form an actual plan. She desperately wanted to let Kirito know what happened, mainly because she was sure that he and Asuna hadn't had the time to repair their gear yet, and sending him a party invite so he wouldn't be locked out of the room last night meant that they likely saw her health drop fast (not to mention the Missing Limb debuff) and would come in flying, regardless of the danger just to try and save her. But opening her menu to do anything would almost guarantee that someone spotted her, and judging by the throwing picks and other things they were throwing up at her, that was suicidal. As she contemplated her next move, a longsword appeared mere inches from her face, embedding itself in the trunk to her right, causing her to sink down as low and quietly as she could to try and avoid any more unexpected surprises as best she could.

"You can't stay up there forever, little mouse~" PoH teased "otherwise we'll either just start climbing up after you. Or better yet, just start chopping the tree down. We still have time and I doubt anyone will know what happened to you in enough time to make a difference. Your choice, mousie~"

She had to bite back a retort, barely remembering he was just baiting her to reveal her location when a black meteor and a white shooting star barreled in, temporarily incapacitating four players surrounding the tree immediately. Taking a defensive stance against the remaining three attackers, Void, Red Eyes and PoH, who were standing just far enough away from the tree to avoid the sudden onslaught, the two players basically dared them to try something before PoH started his maniacal laughter again.

"Heh... Heheheh... HAHAHAHA! Who would've fucking thought Blackie of all people would have come to rescue the little mouse in the tree?!" cackled the madman, even putting off the two at his side slightly. "What better audience to see how helpless their friends truly are in the face of pure despair?!" he all but shouted as he produced a torch, lit it, and threw it at the tree.

Kirito never hesitated as he jumped up, cleanly slicing the torch in two as it arced toward the tree, shattering it into polygons... along with his sword that had finally reached its limit.

"Aww, too bad. A valiant attempt, but I doubt you can equip another sword in time to stop the next one!" PoH gleefully shouted, producing yet another torch and lighting it... just as the tree seemed to spit out another longsword as it landed point first in the ground right in front of Kirito.

Everyone present and still conscious stared at it, dumbfounded, before Kirito grabbed it and held it in preparation for PoH to throw the next torch. As it was, the other members who were temporarily knocked out of the fight were just beginning to recover and spread out around the tree, putting the duo protecting it and their friend above them at a severe disadvantage.

"Well, well. It was a fantastic effort, but I do believe that's checkmate" PoH said nonchalantly while preparing another three torches along with the one he already had. "Question is, do you save yourself and leave the little mouse to her fate, or valiantly attempt to protect her while exposing yourself to attack while everyone goes down in a blaze of glory?"

To everyone's surprise (including Asuna and even Argo watching from above), Kirito suddenly relaxed, leaving himself potentially open to attack from any direction when he said "How about neither. See, it's you who are at a disadvantage. Give up and leave while you still have a chance" he declared, pointing his (new? borrowed?) longsword directly at PoH.

"Hahahahaha! Nice try, Blackie!" PoH cackled. "Unfortunately a bluff only has a chance of working if there's even a grain of truth to it! Not counting the little mouse, its two versus seven! Even with your new blade, you don't stand a chance! Fellas, IT'S SHOWTI--"

He never had a chance to finish his announcement as Void and Red Eyes were unceremoniously and simultaneously cut down, their legs vanishing into polygons as they fell. PoH only managed to jump backwards and over his attacker to avoid the same fate as he saw the rest of his men taken down in similar fashion, red armor from the newest group to arrive glinting off of the torches he still had lit in his hands.

"Tch. This isn't over, Blackie! Mark my words!" PoH declared, discarding the torches in favor of something blue, mumbling something before disappearing in the telltale flash that was a teleport crystal to who knows where.

The one who tried attacking PoH stood up straight, looked around to make sure no one was in need of any immediate help before relaxing and approached the pair still standing under the tree, his red spiky hair and bandana immediately recognizable as he smiled at duo.

"Looks like we made the party just in time, huh?" Klein said with a goofy grin on his face.

Kirito and Asuna both collapsed to their knees, exhausted because of the tense standoff. Taking in a few grateful gulps of virtual air, Kirito nodded before looking up at the wannabe samurai and saying "yeah, you saved our asses there Klein. Thank god you had just came from that dungeon and read the message. I don't know what would happened otherwise" Asuna nodding in silent agreement.

"Think nothing of it! After all, if not for your teaching, we probably wouldn't even be here right now to help!" Klein nodded sagely. "Besides, that's what friends are for, buddy!" as he extended his hand to help the pair up.

"Boss! What do you want done with these idiots?" another member of Klein's guild, Fuurinkazan, asked.

"Oh yeah... Tie 'em all up together so we can carry 'em to the Black Iron Palace Prison. It'll be a pain to use a teleport crystal, but putting them away takes priority!" Klein announced with authority, very out of character for the laid back Front Liner. "Dynamm, you still have any rope?"

"I can help wit' that!" a voice declared from above before Dynamm had a chance to respond. The Fuurinkazan members tensed, thinking they had missed an attacker when a small figure appeared from the branches of the tree they were still around. Deftly descending towards the ground until she remembered that she was still missing a leg by misstepping on a branch, she started tumbling down instead.

Kirito almost seemed to teleport to her, jumping lightly to catch her mid fall and land just as easily, her in his arms in a princess carry. As he placed her down against the tree, he softly asked "Are you okay?"

A few moments passed, everyone relaxing again as they saw her trademark whiskers identifying her as the famous info broker since the hood of her cloak was destroyed and unable to hide them. Then, for an answer, she reached up, pulled his head towards her own, and kissed him.

It lasted maybe three seconds, but in that time everyone who witnessed it froze. When she finished, she pulled back, a tiny string of saliva still connecting them, her face completely flushed. Kirito's mind was going through the equivalent of an Xbox 360's Red Ring of Death, desperately attempting to reboot before all systems became FUBAR.

Asuna was the first to recover, closing her mouth from its slack-jawed position and slapping her cheeks together and getting everyone's attention before asking "Uh, Argo? The rope?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, that..." the Info Broker trailed off, her face blushing crimson while opening her menu and materializing a considerable length of rope along with three teleport crystals. Tossing them to a still frozen Klein, she said "I threw in those teleport crystals as thanks fer helpin' us in case ya needed extras ta haul those dumbasses back ta th' prison."

Klein just nodded dumbly as he caught the items and said "y-yeah... We'll get on that..." as he went through the motions of moving toward and helping tie the remaining Laughing Coffin members together and putting out the small fires the torches had started.

Kirito, for his part, was still staring blankly at Argo, as he still had yet to recover. Her face somehow turned an even darker shade of red as she looked at him and asked "are ya okay, Ki-boy? If ya keep starin' I'll hafta start chargin'--" is as far as she got before he reached down, cupped her face in his hands and kissed her.

Everyone froze again, Asuna's jaw dropping even lower than before as Kirito pulled away, his face just as crimson as Argo's, her eyes glazed over like she was suffering the Blue Screen of Death herself.

This time it was another of Klein's guild, Dale, who broke the trance on everyone by declaring "Alright, we're ready to go." Grabbing Klein's arm with one hand and holding a teleport crystal with the other, a decent length of rope wrapped around his forearm, he held it up and announced "Teleport: Town of Beginnings!" before both groups of Fuurinkazan and the bound Laughing Coffin disappeared in a flash of light.

As soon as the brilliant flash dissipated, Kirito wasted no time in picking up Argo bridal style again, her squeaking in surprise at being moved suddenly as her brain finally rebooted. "Huh? What?" was all she could muster to ask.

"You're still missing part of your leg, and we need to get out of here before something or someone else shows up" he reasoned. "And I don't know about the two of you, but I'm already exhausted again. Let's head back to town so we can rest and get our equipment and supplies in order. And have a long talk about everything that happened" he added, looking directly at the girl in his arms. As he turned and started to walk back to town, he stopped and glanced over his shoulder to the fencer, still unmoving with her mouth agape as he called out to her "You coming?"

Asuna quickly recovered, shaking her head to dispel the vision still replaying in her mind before responding "huh? Oh, yeah... h-hey, wait up you two!" As she jogged to catch up to the Black Swordsman as they made their way back to town.