Ashes in your mouth

Chapter Eleven

What do you think happens in chapter eleven. Certainly not massive profits.

Harry woke up from a poke. He opened one eye; Kreacher was standing, wringing his hands.

"Master, Miss Delphini needs master" croaked Kreacher.

Harry fumbled for his glasses, put them on, got up hurriedly, jamming on his dressing gown and slippers, grabbed his wand and ran out of the room to Delphini's room next door.

It was, Harry noticed, very early in the morning.

Delphini was huddled up in the big bed with her plush rabbit.

"What's the problem?" asked Harry.

"Mmmm" said Delphini.

Harry walked over and held out his hands "Come on, you woke me up, we're getting up and having breakfast. From behind Harry came a pop, that sounded like Kreacher vanishing.

Delphini got out of bed, but her nightgown was wet. Harry opened up the bed and it was wet too. Harry aimed his wand at the bed and cleaned and dried it, then Delphini's nightgown.

"Is that better?" asked Harry. Delphini nodded.

"Does this happen a lot?" asked Harry Delphini shook her head.

"Harry held his arms out "Time for a hug" he said.

Delphini reluctantly accepted a hug. She was small and trembly and warm. Harry gave her a gentle squeeze and helped her into her dressing gown and slippers.

"We're going to the bathroom" said Harry "We can have a wash, then go have breakfast."

Delphini came along reluctantly.

"What's" wrong?" asked Harry as he opened the door into the bathroom.

"S'cold" said Delphini.

Harry drew his wand reflexively and heated the bathroom up. Delphini walked in and sat on the floor.

Harry went to the bath and turned on the taps, and put a bathmat down "Get on that?" he asked.

Delphini sat on the mat and watched the bath.

"Can you wash yourself?" asked Harry.

"Mmmm" said Delphini.

"Did Mrs Rowle wash you?" asked Harry.

Delphini nodded.

"Well I'll help, you'll learn" said Harry. The bath got to a level he'd used with Teddy, and he stopped the taps. "Get in" said Harry.

Delphini flinched when Harry picked up the flannel and soap.

"I'm not going to hurt you" said Harry calmly, his chest boiling with anger.

Delphini accepted soapy washing with a still, wide-eyed terror. Harry rinsed her off and got a towel from the shelf and held it out "Come on, you can get out, and I'll help you dry off."

Delphini got out very carefully and with a shiver took to being dried.

"I'm not going to try to hurt you" said Harry quietly "Just help you, and before long, you'll be a big girl who can wash and dry herself. With that, Harry cast a drying charm to help things along.

Delphini, wrapped in a towel looked up "Dry?" she asked.

"We'll, you're dry, now lets get you dressed, then I'll wash, then we can have breakfast."

Delphini nodded, and padded back to her bedroom with Harry, who got out the muggle-ish dress. Delphini got into it with a little help with the buttons.

"We're going shopping again today for some things" said Harry, thinking of muggle warm children's clothes, and perhaps something for Delphini's night-time problem.

Delphini frowned "More clothes?" she asked. Harry nodded "Things you can manage yourself."

Delphini nodded.

Harry left Delphini with her Bunny and Fluffy, and went for a quick shower, and got dressed in trousers and a jersey, and went to get Delphini; who was sitting still where he'd left her. Harry carried her down to the kitchen, where Kreacher had laid out tea, toast and bacon.

Delphini sniffed the bacon.

"It's bacon" said Harry, and he demonstrated eating some with a knife and fork. Delphini struggled with the tools, the bacon shooting across the table.

Harry picked it up and handed it to Delphini "Just eat it" he conceded. Delphini ate the bacon slowly. "Bacum" she said.

"Bacon" said Harry "Shall I cut up your toast?"

Delphini ate the toast with her fingers. Harry waited till she was two pieces of toast and three pieces of bacon down, then cleaned her hands with a quiet spell from his wand.

He snatched bites of toast and bacon, and guzzled some tea in between feeding Delphini.

"Porridge" said Delphini.

"Do you want porridge?" asked Harry.

"Mrs Rowle porridge" said Delphini.

"Do you like it?" Harry asked. She shook her head "Bacon" she said.

"I should have made your middle name Hedwig" muttered Harry.

Harry took a fed Delphini to the ballroom and his desk and scratched out a letter to Andromeda.

Harry wrote everything down he could think of, while holding a bored four-year-old.

Harry took Delphini to the only Muggle shops he knew, in Little Whinging.

Delphini liked the velcro closed shoes, and Harry made sure to get her some wellingtons, and some sheepskin boots. They looked very warm. Delphini didn't like the trackpants and hooded sweatshirt much as they were pulled on, but then she hugged herself. "Warm" she said. Harry nodded "Warm."

Harry took Delphini home, dropped the packages, and called Kreacher "Kreacher, look after Delphini, I've got a little shopping to do"

With that, Harry apparated to Islington, and found the Tescos. He found the sleep nappies section eventually and picked out two packs. She wasn't happy at night, and Harry totally understood that. At least this way, she might not be uncomfortable.

He was queuing to pay when he saw a harassed looking mother feed a small child a snack bar; and Harry dashed off, buying a variety of things and some small fruit pulp blisters. They might be very handy in future. He queued and waited. The woman behind him, with two squealing children spoke up "Emergency supplies?" she asked.

"My daughter… she's four" said Harry, politely.

"Well, best of luck" said the woman, eyeing Harry, who felt self-conscious about being young.

"Not mine as in my child, mine by adoption. I'm her next of kin. Her parents died." said Harry.

"You're awfully young" said the woman, then she adjusted Nigel and told Jennifer that no, she couldn't have a chocolate.

"I've been looking after my godson for years" said Harry, picking up a few of the Kinder Surprises, and adding them to his basket. "Since before I left the police." he added. "Where I got the scar."

"Oh" said the woman, who certainly hadn't stared at his forehead with his massive, frankensteinien scar.

Harry paid for the things he had, and his black credit card made the machine beep.

"Crikey" said the teller, a spotty adolescent "We don't see a lot of your sort here, Mr… Potter-Black." said the clerk reading his name off the card.

Harry nodded "Well, everyone buys things for their children" he replied, jamming the purchases into two plastic carrier bags.

The nosy woman started unloading while Nigel and Jennifer ran about like … Weasleys.

"You should have a recyclable shopping bag" she said.

Harry left, found an alley and apparated home. The shopping was still on the floor, and Kreacher was nowhere to be seen.

Harry picked up all the shopping and headed upstairs.

Delphini wasn't in her room. Harry unpacked the clothes, and used packing charm to stow them. He had only the carrier bags with snacks and sweets left to get rid of, and so he eapparated to the kitchen. Where Kreacher was making scones.

"Kreacher, where is Delphini?" Harry asked.

"The witches took her to the ballroom" said Kreacher "Miss Delphini was very happy to go."

Harry explained the snacks, and vanished the carrier bags.

Kreacher seemed unimpressed. "Muggle rubbish" he grumbled.

"Handy if we're somewhere muggle and she's hungry" said Harry, and apparated back to the front hallway, and went to the ballroom.

Delphini was sitting on Harry's desk, scribbling with a quill on a sheet of parchment.

Harry sat down at his desk and held out his arms "Delphini?" he asked.

Delphini looked up from her scribble, holding the quill , and looking thoughtful.

"Father" she said.

"I need the desk. Come sit on my lap" said Harry, glancing at the parchment. On it, was a big scribble.

"Mrs Rowle used to hit me for mess" said Delphini quietly. "It's not a mess, father?"

"No Delphini, it's not a mess" said Harry. "Time to start on English."

Harry took a sheet of parchment and drew a large A, a bad drawing of an apple and 'aye'.

"This is A" said Harry "It sounds like A." "That's an apple."

"Apples are red" said Delphini. Harry drew his wand and colour-varia-ed the apple to an apple red.

Delphini nodded.

Harry drew a B, and a bad drawing of a bee, and wrote 'bee'.

"This is B" said Harry "The second letter. It sounds like bee, the yellow and black insect that flies"

Delphini pointed imperiously at the drawing of a bee. Harry colour-changed the stripes to yellow and black. She nodded.

Harry got to J and looked up. The witches were all watching Delphini and Harry learning the alphabet.

"I thought" said Harry I was paying you to write thank-you cards?"

Tracey Davis spoke first "But this is so cute. Harry Potter and the little orphan girl. Once word of this slips, Witch Weekly will be bombarding you for an interview."

"They already do" said Harry bitterly.

"You should do a Black family interview" said Tracey "They'd pay a fortune, and it'd change peoples perception of you, and the Blacks. Of course an interview with the Trio would pay more."

"Thank you Miss Davis" said Harry.

Harry had an idea while writing up K to Z, and made sure to save room on the parchments.

He picked up Dlephini and carried her to the library, and found a picture book for very young children.

Delphini eyed the pages "What's that?" she asked.

"It's a book of what English words say" said Harry "You can use the alphabet and the words to learn to read English."

"Why?" asked Dephini.

"Most of these books are in English." said Harry "There are stories."

"You said there'd be stories" said Delphini, with a tiny frown.

Harry took a different children's book and sat down on the couch near the fireplace "Come on, we're going to read this book."

Harry read Delphini the story of Percy the Persistent Penguin.

"Are those real" said Delphini "Pengins?"

"Yes" said Harry. "They're not in England." admitted Harry "I don't know where we'd go to see them. Antarctica certainly."

"Antaicar?" asked Delphini.

Harry summoned the large globe ( that was also a drinks cabinet) and after it was slid across the room Harry pointed out England, and Antarctica.

"Can we see penguins today?" asked Delphini.

"It would be several days travel" said Harry.

"We'd have to… be persistent?" asked Delphini and Harry laughed "Yes" said Harry grinning "Very persistent!"

Harry conjured up a penguin costume for Delphini "Penguin!" he said.

Delphini shook her head "I'm not a penguin" she said.

Harry enlarged the penguin costume and put it on. "Well I'm a penguin" said Harry.

Delphini burst into giggles.

They finished the story of Percy the persistent penguin. Harry wondered quietly if Percy Weasley had taken being a persistent penguin to heart.

Harry banished Percy the Penguin back to the shelf and stood up.

"Penguin!" said Delphini. Harry drew his wand and dispelled the conjured costume. Delphini giggled.

Harry gathered up the book of words and handed it to Delphini who carried it back to the desk in the ballroom. Harry conjured up small squashy chair for Delphini, who sat down with her alpahabet and started to puzzle through a picture book, concentrating intensely. She looked a little like her father and mother when concentrating, and neither had been stupid.

Harry settled in and read a pile of letters. Mostly from when he was ten. Thankfully, he hadn't received many more really heart-rending letters.

A young Luna Lovegood had written to him, suggesting he go looking for Crumple-Horned Snorcacks. Harry made a note to show Delphini an 'artist's impression' of a Crumple-Horned Snorcack, realised he didn't have one and wrote a letter to Luna, requesting one.

Harry looked down at Delphini who was looking bored, the book closed.

"Tired of the book?" asked Harry.

"I read it" said Delphini. Harry got up "Well, we'll need to get you another" he said, taking a quill with him.

Delphini carried the book with her to the library.

Harry looked on the shelf and found a quite different picture book, about animals; magical and mundane. It had their names, and a short sentence about what noise they made, and pictures showing the animal, what it ate and a spot on a map showing where they came from.

"This is good" said Harry sitting down "Delphini, it's all about animals. Where they're from, the noises they make, and pictures so you'll recognise them."

Harry found the page for penguins and showed her.

"So this is Penguin. Pen-guin. Pee Eee En makes the first sound, and Gee Uew Eye Enn makes the second sound. You've got the list of letters, though it's a little more complicated as letters make different sounds when they're next to each other." said Harry.

Delphini turned a page, and saw a big white bear, standing on an icy scene.

"Polar Bear" said Harry "Look on the map, it shows the very top, the arctic. That's the north-most part of the earth and it's always cold, like the antarctic, where the penguins live."

"Eat me?" asked Delphini worriedly.

"Polar Bears" said Harry, reading the words "Are very dangerous. They eat seals… which are as big as you… so maybe. We're not going to the arctic."

Harry turned pages and found 'Seal' and showed Delphini "The seal eats fish and lives on the ice" said Harry.

"Fish?" asked Delphini. Harry found a page for Trout "They live in rivers" said Harry. "Sometimes people go fishing, and catch fish, and cook them. We have fish for dinner sometimes."

"Like a seal?" asked Delphini perceptively.

"We cook them first" Harry observed, ignoring the memory of Hermione's attempts at fish cooking.

Harry handed Delphini the book and went to the shelf, and found a simpler book, basically an illustrated alphabet. "This" said Harry.

Delphini looked at the book. "A is for apple" said Delphini.

Harry nodded "This is a good first book."

Delphini took 'A is for apple', and handed Harry the animals book.

Harry put the book back on the shelf "This shelf is for those books" said Harry "Put them back when you're finished reading them."

Lunch was very noisy, with the witches talking to Delphini, and making fun of Harry Potter, childcare worker.

-==0==-

The next day was a day Harry would usually have Teddy, so Harry flooed over to Andromeda's house, where Teddy eyed the girl Harry had brought with him "Who are you?" asked Teddy.

"As promised, Delphini" said Harry "Delphini, this is your Aunt Andromeda."

"Aunt" said Delphini.

"Oh dear" said Andromeda eyeing Delphini "I see myself taking some time off work."

Harry picked up Teddy and spun him around, which had Teddy's hair going pink.

"And you're her closest relative? Not me?" asked Andromeda.

"I'm Black of Black and related to Tom, he was a Peverell, and so are Potters" said Harry. "One thing, she's a parselmouth like me, like her father."

"And why are you a parselmouth?" asked Andromeda casually.

"Family magic" said Harry, and Andromeda chuckled "Correct" she smiled.

Teddy's hair changed colour to red and Delphini went still "Hair!" she said, and gritted her teeth, and concentrated, and the tips of her hair went red.

"Oh my, just like Great-Great-Grandfather" said Andromeda. "He could only do the tips of his hair."

Andromeda patted Delphini on the back "Teddy's a full metamorphmagus like his mother. You're a partial metamorphmagus dear, but you might get better control as you get older."

Delphini looked at Andromeda "Partial?"

"You can only do the tips of your hair," said Andromeda "Teddy can do anything."

Delphini looked cross and Andromeda sighed "Just like your mother" she said quietly, and gathered Delphini into a hug "Harry's Teddy's father and yours now too. You couldn't have done better, Harry's a good man. Mostly."

Harry looked indignant "I stopped doing that!" he protested.

Andromeda hugged Delphini "Where are you sleeping?" she asked.

"My room" said Delphini.

"The room next to mine" said Harry, snagging Teddy for a hug.

"Harry, you need a nanny" said Andromeda. "You can't look after Delphini all day, you can't rely on Kreacher."

"I know that" admitted Harry. "I was wondering if she could go to Mrs Weasley's with Teddy?"

"No" said Andromeda "Molly will want to know too much, and then judge."

"You seemed quite capable of finding staff to fill in your thank-you cards, get a nanny." said Andromeda.

"I can't use an ad in the Daily Prophet to get a nanny. What if they're a … you know. One of them." said Harry.

"Well, perhaps ex-Auror Potter's connections in the DMLE can help." said Andromeda "I'll mind both of them, while you go demonstrate that unusual ability to solve problems you have."

Harry flooed of to the DMLE while Teddy showed Delphini how to skate in socks on polished wood floors. Andromeda reassured Harry that after Tonks, she could cushioning charm a whole room.

Harry stepped out of the floo at the ministry and made his way to DMLE, to the Auror office bullpen, and looked around for the distinctively red hair of Ron. He found Ron, avoided back-slaps from Ernie and Martin Peirce, who Harry could never stand, and stood over Ron and his paperwork.

"Ron" asked Harry "I need a nanny for a child, who's not your mum, and isn't a death-eater."

Ron looked up "Harry? Mum's great with kids."

Harry cast a privacy charm; the one Snape had left in the book.

"Ron, my adoptive daughter's not exactly someone I can trust with your mum." said Harry. "She's Bellatrix LeStranage's bastard. With Tom Marvolo Riddle."

Ron looked at Harry and smiled "You really had me going for a second there" said Ron, with a shake of his head.

"Really" said Harry.

Ron paled. "But – "

"She's a four-year-old girl from a death-eater home, Ron. Mrs Rowle might not have hit her, but she cringes… she's half starved and hasn't even learnt letters. And I'm her nearest living relative, as black of Black, and Tom was a Peverell, so we're related that way too."

"Harry, you're twenty-one and unmarried" said Ron "You can't raise a little girl."

"Ron, I already look after Teddy some of the time." said Harry.

"You need a nanny" said Ron. "But why ask me?"

"I need someone who needs a job, with childcare skills, and not a death-eater or sympathiser." said Harry "Someone from the camps?"

"From the camps?" asked Ron "Well… that ticks box number three."

Harry sighed "Well, got an idea?"

"Go see Alexa Foley in social services, down the hall, room two hundred and twenty." said Ron

"She's trying to help all the poor buggers from the camp."

Harry nodded. "Her name's Delphini, and she likes bacon. I regret making her middle name Cassiopeia already. Should have just used Hedwig."

Ron blinked "You can't name people after your dead owl, Harry."

"Well" said Harry "I suppose because she's just an owl, it's not like your mum named your twin bothers after her brothers."

"Course not" said Ron sharply. "It's just… honouring them."

"Well, I should go see Alexa Foley." said Harry "Be careful, being an Auror is dangerous."

Ron nodded politely "Being careful" he said, and Harry left.

Alexa Foley was a jittery black witch with an afro, drinking coffee and reading files.

Harry knocked on the open door, and she looked up "Harrah Pottah?" she asked in a thick Trindiad accent.

"I need a nanny for my adoptive daughter who's four. The Nanny needs to know about children, and it's a live-in job. Rooms and board provided" said Harry "But the pay will be what I can afford."

"You adohpted a daughtah?" she asked "Verra public spirited of yah."

"I'm her closest living relative. The woman someone was paying to look after her brought her to St Mungos for vaccination, and the blood test had a Hit Wizard coming to see me" said Harry. "She's a Black, and we're going to have some family magic secrets stuff."

Alexa Filey blinked "Youah got more than one room, mistah Pottah?"

"Mistah Pottah Black" said Harry. "I've got a manor with fifty-four bedrooms. And attics."

"Many people ah homeless" said Aleaxa.

"It's a family house, so I can't just take people in." said Harry "I can't sell it, it's entailed."

"The Blacks are rich. Everyone knows that" said Alexa.

"They lost a lot in the last few decades" said Harry.

"A rich man cries and nobody cares" said Alexa.

Harry nodded politely, not hexing, or making sarcastic remarks. "I'm part owner of a school" said Harry "It teaches people for free, so I'm doing my bit."

Alexa nodded "Very noble, Mistah Black." she turned her chair and looked in a filing cabinet jammed with parchment folders. Some time later she said "I have a Mary Carruthers who could be a secretary for you, but she ah… doesn't like children."

"I don't need a secretary" said Harry.

"Someone to organise your time and answer your mail?" asked Alexa, her accent having left suddenly.

"Well" said Harry "I admit I could do with help once the backlog of thank-you cards is sent out. I have ten temporary staff working on that."

"Backlog?" asked Alexa, her eyebrows dancing like fuzzy caterpillars.

"All my mail, my whole life went somewhere" said Harry "I gave St Mungos most of the toys and clothes and books."

Alexa Foley tilted her head and looked Harry up and down "And yeh a rich man, and still gave somthang away?"

Harry shrugged "I'm not as bad as Malfoy."

"But you made sure your buddy Malfoy didn't go to Azkaban." said Alexa. "Hogwarts types sticking up for one anatha."

"He became my informant, and we reeled in a lot of Death Eaters. He's on a short leash" said Harry.

Alexa blinked "You're not just a violent Auror." she said, and looked back into the filing cabinet drawer

"No, I blackmail people too" said Harry with a thin smile. "For the Greater good."

"Sarah Pottinger" said Alexa "On my please save list. Lost family in the camps, has two children. Used to be a painter."

"And obviously not a Death Eater sympathiser" said Harry.

"She's not" said Alexa sharply.

"So, I need her" said Harry.

"She'll need to have her son and daughter with her" said Alexa.

Harry shrugged "Okay, how do we do this?" asked Harry.

Alexa took Harry's signature on a form "I'll send her over for an interview."

"Black Manor" Harry said and Alexa noted that.

Harry went back to Andromeda's and found Delphini and Teddy with Andromeda, reading a book.

"Delphini is almost illiterate" said Andromeda. Harry nodded "I'm teaching her."

"She explained that father was teaching her" said Andromeda with a small smile. "Now you can cook lunch for us."
Harry made scrambled eggs and toast.

Delphini puzzled over the scrambled eggs. "Eg?" she said. "Not egg."

Andromeda explained.

Delphin tore some toast and tried to dip it in scrambled eggs. "Eg!" she said firmly.

"Delphin evidently prefers soft-boiled with toast fingers" said Andromeda. "And hopefully you'll keep her family temper in check."

"Well" said Harry "I'm not one to talk."

Delphini went to bed that night in her night-pants and nightgown, and Harry squeezed in a bit of letter-reading and recording before he was tired and blinking at his desk in the ballroom. He really needed to move his desk back to the study, and take his mail pile there too, he thought, and yawning, shrank the desk, and carried it back to his office, and put it back. By the time he'd moved the pile of mail as well, Harry could barely stumble into his bedroom and fall down.

Harry was woken by someone pulling on his hand "Father!" said… was that Delphini?

Harry opened his eyes, found his glasses and rolled over. Delphini was standing in her nightgown, her dressing gown pulled over her shoulders like a cloak, woolly boots on and bunny under one arm

"Wake" she said.

"I'm awake" said Harry, yawning "You all right?"

"Pants" said Delphini. Harry found his wand and vanished the pants "Gone" said Harry. Delphini fiddled with her dressing gown, and Harry sat up, and rearranged it, putting her arms in the sleeves, and doing it up. Delphini nodded happily "Bath" she said.

Harry looked at his watch; it was barely six am.

"Kreacher!" called Harry and the elf appeared.

"Breakfast in forty minutes. Delphini woke me" said Harry. Kreacher swayed on his long pink feet "Master" croaked the house elf.

"Have some tea" said Harry "I'm going to hire a nanny, so we can get a little more sleep."

Kreacher walked off. Evidently too tired to pop twice this early in the morning.

Over breakfast, a letter came from Alexa Foley; Sarah Pottinger was coming for an interview at ten.

Delphini had a soft-boiled egg and toast, Harry bacon and scrambled eggs and a sausage.

Delphini stared at Harry's bacon. 'Totally should have called you Hedwig' thought Harry, and handed over a strip of bacon. Delphini held it in her hand and chewed happily.

Harry found Sunny in the upstairs parlour and left Delphini with her; Delphini and Sunny were chattering away, and Sunny had coiled herself loosely around Delphini.

By nine, the witches had arrived, and gone to the Dining room for tea. Where Harry was slumped, drinking Kreachers' coffee. Delphini was still with Sunny, and Harry was too tired for today.

"Where's your desk?" asked Tracey Davis.

"In my office." said Harry "I've got a nanny coming for a job interview"

"One small child" observed Lily Moon "And you're defeated."

"Two" said Harry "We were with her cousin Teddy. Teddy's heir of black."

"You've got egg on your shirt" said one of the witches Harry didn't know by name.

Harry went to the bathroom and cleaned his shirt with a charm. Which didn't work, so he had to change the shirt instead.

Harry settled into his desk chair and set to work on mail.

Kreacher popped in some time later "Master, A witch Pottinger."

Harry got up and went to the hall, where a thin blonde witch in a cloak was standing, She must be nearly middle-aged, thought Harry, and she smiled politely "Sarah Pottinger, I'm here about the nanny job?"

Harry nodded "Follow me" said Harry.

"Have you lived here long?" she asked as Harry led the way to the office.

"A year and a bit" said Harry "I recently adopted an orphan from the family Black. Delphini. Her parents were on the other side in the war, and both died. I'm her nearest living relative, and I need some help."

Harry sat down at his desk, and Sarah looked at the pile of letters in the corner.

"My mail backlog" said Harry "I have ten witches writing thank-you cards right now."

"You really do get a lot of mail" she said.

"This stuff's ten years old" said Harry "All my mail was in a room somewhere."

"I um… have two children" said Sarah "So I can't be a live-in Nanny."

"I've got fifty-four rooms and eleven attics" said Harry "You could take three. Most rooms have sheets."

"Most rooms have sheets?" asked Sarah, eyes narrowed.

"I had cashflow problems" said Harry euphemistically. "I'm getting rents now, so I can afford a Nanny."

"Well, yes, my landlord's putting up my rent" said Sarah.

"Ah, two hundred galleons a year, meals, rooms, and one child to look after. And Teddy, my godson, some of the time, though he goes to a friend's most days."

"But not this Delphini" said Sarah.

"Her parents… the friends wouldn't take that well." said Harry.

"Well, the job sounds simple enough. I assume you'll be ignoring the girl?" said Sarah.

"Uh?" said Harry "Just spreading the work. I like taking care of her, but she woke me at six, and I dunno when I got to sleep last night."

"Is she your actual daughter?" asked Sarah.

Harry shook his head "My distant uncle Tom's daughter, and a deceased Aunt's."

"Both sides of the family." said Sarah sharply.

Harry nodded "Like I said, I'm her closest relative. There will be some family magic matters to do with Delphini."

Sarah nodded "I can keep my mouth shut." she said.

"Well" said Harry "Miss Foley recommended you, you seem interested. I'll show you around."

Harry showed Sarah the kitchen, the dining room, explained about the coffee and tea, then showed her Delphini's room, and then said "Where would you want rooms?"

"Where?" asked Sarah.

"Closer, I've got all these rooms" said Harry pointing at the hallway "Or up on the fourth floor. There's a classroom and suites."

"Closer, but… could I have a suite for my family?" she asked "My boy and girl."

"Sure" said Harry "You can treat the next room along as a work-room and have a suite on the fourth floor for you and your family."

"What's outside?" asked Sarah.

"Grounds" said Harry "A bit neglected. There are outbuildings, and I've not even explored them since I moved in. Been a bit busy. The builders took all the large trees when they rebuilt the roof."

"The roof?" said Sarah, eyebrows raised.

"It had rotted out" said Harry. "This house is entailed, I have to leave it to Teddy, and can't sell it. I sold everything else to fund the repairs."

"But you can afford to pay me" asked Sarah pointedly.

"I rent out two properties in France, I get some dividends from a business here." said Harry.

"Must be nice being rich" said Sarah.

"I wish my entire family hadn't died to leave me this house" said Harry. "My Aunt, Andromeda Tonks is all that's left. Well, and the Malfoys, but they don't count."

"And you put a good word in for the Malfoys" said Sarah bitterly.

"I staked them out at Malfoy Manor for a year without wands. They were attacked, and we rolled up the Death Eaters responsible." said Harry "Then I had Draco go talking to the old guard, and rolled them up too. Draco didn't die, and isn't in Azkaban."

"You weren't just a violent Auror then" said Sarah "Unscrupulous too."

"The war needed to end" said Harry calmly "We needed names, places, safe-houses. I don't want another war in ten years."

"And you're not an Auror now" said Sarah "Just a landlord."

"Just a landlord and child-care worker" said Harry. "My daughter will grow up free of blood bigotry, and probably be … a powerful witch. Hopefully I find somewhere for her to live, maybe she'll share this place with Teddy. Based on how they play now, I think separate houses will be better for everyone else."

"So they not get on?" asked Sarah politely.

"They were having sock sliding races on the floor" said Harry "I can see them both flying brooms indoors before they're teenagers."

"Maybe you need to not spoil her then" said Sarah. "There were a lot of clothes in her room."

"She had one robe" said Harry tightly "One robe, ate porridge, and at four, she doesn't know her alphabet. And, she wets the bed. I think it's nerves, I've got her some muggle night-pants."

Sarah was standing, mouth open "Whoever treated her like that…" she managed finally.

"Is getting Azkaban" said Harry "A supporter of the old regime, being paid through an anonymous Gringotts vault. Speaking of which, I'll need your vault number."

"Eighteen ninety-nine" said Sarah.

"I'll have the goblins pay you as soon as you can start" said Harry. "I'd rather pay you all at once. My cashflow is – "

"Lumpy" said Sarah very politely. "Where is Delphini?"

"Playing with my pet, Sunny" said Harry.

"Pet?" asked Sarah.

"Pet snake" said Harry "Long, complicated story, Sunny's a grey and white layabout. Sometimes she catches rats in the outbuildings."

"Is she dangerous?" asked Sarah nervously.

"She's quite tame" said Harry. "I'll just go check on Delphini, can you give me five minute then follow me?" Harry asked.

Delphini and Sunny were lying in a patch of sun in the parlour.

"Sunny" said Harry "Sarah is coming. She's a friend. No biting."

Delphini got up and grabbed Harry's hand "Story?" she asked.

Harry stroked her back "Clever girl" Harry said "Sarah's going to help look after you. She's got two children, who will be living here too. I think they're a bit older. This will mean Teddy can come here more often."

"Teddy" said Delphini nodding.

Sarah eyed the large, dozing grey snake "That's a pet?" she asked.

"A good pet for a busy wizard" said Harry "She sleeps in the sun, eats about once a week, and likes being stroked. And she's dry, not slimy."

"Is she poisonous?" asked Sarah.

Harry shook his head "I don't think she's poisonous" he said 'Venomous, yes, but not poisonous' he added mentally.

Sarah signed on as an employee, and that afternoon, Kreacher informed Harry she had arrived, with some suitcases, and two children.

Harry left the office, followed by Delphini, and found Sarah, looking a bit flustered, with a boy who looked about eight, with brown hair, and a girl, a little older with black hair.

"This is Septimus, and this is Fiona" said Sarah.

Harry nodded "This is Delphini Black, my adopted daughter. Delphini, say hello?"

Dephini looked around Harry's legs "Hello" she said quietly.

"Mister Black" said Fiona.

"I'm Harry" said Harry "You're getting a suite on the fourth floor, and Sarah will have a room next ot Delphini's… for half-days." Harry turned around and squatted "Delphini, Sarah's going to do mornings with you, so I can go do work."

Delphini stuck out her lower lip.

"I can still have breakfast with you" said Harry.

"Bath" said Delphini. Behind him, a small girl snorted.

"Okay, I'll help you get up, and have breakfast with you, then Sarah will help you learn to read. In the classroom, I suppose."

"The library would be more fun" said Sarah. "We can read stories."

"Penguin suit" said Delphini sharply.

"That was because it was a penguin story" said Harry "I conjured a penguin costume when we were reading Percy the persistent Penguin." he explained, over his shoulder. Septimus's eyes widened.

"Harry's a hands-on parent" said Sarah to her children "But he has a job as a landlord."

"And I have hundreds of letters I got as a child and got just a few months ago to handle" said Harry, standing. "Sarah, once you've got settled in, maybe after dinner, I'll introduce Fiona and Septimus to Sunny."

"Sunny's Harry's pet snake" said Sarah po-faced.

"Sunny!" said Delphini, clapping "Sunny!"

Sunny chose that moment to come slithering down the stairs. Looking, Harry thought not at all like a Nagini, but rather more like a lazy, fat pet snake.

Sunny slithered over to Harry and hissed what Harry guessed was probably 'Who are the strangers'.

Harry patted Sunny on the head "She's a good snake." he said.

Delphini walked over and hugged Sunny like a sausage.

"Don't squash her too hard" said Harry, looking at Sunny, and Delphini let Sunny go a bit and said "Sorry"

Sunny nuzzled Delphini

"You're a parselmouth. She's a parselmouth" said Sarah, her face pale.

"It's family magic" said Harry, feeling annoyed; he had no idea that he or Delphini had spoken in parseltounge, and though he hadn't, "Delphini was my distant cousin before I adopted her."

"Harry Potter's a parselmouth!" said Fiona.

"Eh, it's old news" said Harry "Everyone at Hogwarts knew in my second year."

"But… parselmouth's are all dark wizards" said Fiona "Everyone knows that."

"Uncle Tom, he was a parselmouth, and dark" said Harry "He died, and Delphini's an orphan, with only her orphan father Harry. Well, and Sunny. She's sadly not that bright. Sunny, that is. She's as smart as a dog maybe."

Harry, bending down and Sunny climbed up Harry's arm and looped herself around his shoulders. He stood, and jiggled "She's getting fat." he said drily.

"$Sunny$" said Delphini, and Harry was fairly sure that had been a hiss.

"You can't carry her" said Harry.

The Pottingers went upstairs quickly.

"Well, that might have gone better" said Harry.

-==0==-

A day passed, and the Pottingers decided that they perhaps weren't going to get eaten in their sleep.

For simple space reasons, breakfast could no longer fit on the Kitchen table, and moved to the dining room. Harry sat with Delphini, helping her with egg and soldiers, and bacon, while the Pottingers ate. The children had good appetites, Harry noticed they looked a bit thin.

In the days mail, Harry got an invite to St Mungos next fundraiser.

Sarah enthusiastically decided Harry simply must go, and Delphini would be fine with Sarah doing the evening story. Delphini eyed Harry sideways at that "Costum!" she said firmly.

"I think" said Harry "You'll have to conjure up a costume appropriate to the story. Delphini wouldn't wear the penguin costume, so I resized it and wore it myself."

Septimus snorted pumpkin juice out his nose. Harry winced. That would certainly sting.

By mid-afternoon, Harry was 'advised' he should get ready by Sarah, as the fundraiser started at six. Harry left his letter-recording, and went and had a shower. He put on a clean shirt and pants, dress robes and reasonably comfortable shoes, and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He ignored the lurking shadowy figures; that was just the mirror having been repaired with the damn Elder wand.

Harry braced himself on the sink and considered his choices. He undid his shirt, and drew the Elder wand out of his mokeskin pouch. He rummaged in his drawer, unable to find it, finally finding his Auror issue holster; he put that on and sheathed the wand. If the dinner was attacked, he'd have an advantage over anyone.

He did up his shirt, and looked at his collection of ties. He put the black one on; it seemed less stupid looking than most of his ties, which were almost entirely presents.

Then he looked at his hair. He opened the bathroom cabinet and with trepidation, got out the old bottle of Sleekeazy's he'd found at Grimmauld Place when he emptied it out.

Two drops, it said, so Harry used three. His hair sat down, in a glossy black splot. He combed it carefully, and while his hair reminded him annoyingly of Barty Crouch's… he looked very un-Potter-haired. His bloody forehead still looked like a bad imitation of Frankenstein's monster, but it was, he supposed, what it was.

He went to his sock drawer and got out rings. One P, one B, and the emerald, to remind him. Harry looked in the drawer where the ring with a Deathly Hallow symbol on it lay. Hermione might be there, and need a reason to snort booze out her nose. Harry's fingers itched... and he put that on as well.

He left the HP belt in the drawer. It was not something he was going to be seen publicly in. At the Burrow, twitting George, for sure.

Harry went down the stairs, and found a line of children waiting to see him, with Sarah sitting on a chair in the hall. "You're in good time, and well dressed." she said, and checked him carefully.

"No cologne?" she asked.

"I don't wear cologne" said Harry.

"Boys" muttered Sarah "Well, Delphini, your father is all dressed up"

Delphini looked up at Harry "Hair" she said.

Harry nodded "Hair tonic." he replied. "My grandfather invented Sleekeezys."

"Well, you're raising money for St Mungos, so good luck" said Sarah, and Harry flooed to St Mungos.

There was wonky looking sign saying the fundraiser was in the cafeteria, so Harry set off along the green painted hallway, that smelt far too much of hospital.

The Cafeteria doors were covered with a red velvet curtain, and a tall, elderly witch with grey hair tied back that reminded Harry of taunt barbed wire nodded slightly at Harry "Mister Potter-Black" she said.

Harry nodded.

"If you'd just go in, you're at the high table at the back" she said.

An hour later, Harry had eaten a canapé, and discovered the fundraiser was full of boring old people. Who all wanted to advise Harry about all sorts of things. How to dress, who to talk to, what government policies were good, which were bad, and that he should get married and settle down. Coincidentally they also all had grand-daughters and great-granddaughters who would be 'just perfect' for Harry.

There was music for dancing, and an ample supply of old witches, and then, Harry saw Daphne Greengrass, who had just finished dancing with some old wizard, who tried ineffectively to grab her bum as she walked surprisingly quickly away.

Harry seized the opportunity to avoid old fogies, and headed towards Greengrass. Not that he wanted the grab her bum, but she was under forty, and looked like she needed respite from grabby old men.

She looked surprised to see him "You actually came to a fundraiser advertised as having you" she said. "How unlike you."

"I'm dying of boredom" admitted Harry "Dance?"

Daphne Greengrass's eyebrows moved together slightly, but she gathered herself up and strode out rapidly onto the dance floor, and Harry held her right hand in his left, put his other hand onto her hip, she put hers on his upper arm and they started to dance. Moments later Harry remembered she was a pretty damn good dancer. And looked, by the way her lips were pressed into a thin line, like she was going to burst from irritation.

Harry let go her hip for a second, and flicked out his wand, and cast Snape's anti-eavesdropping spell, without stopping moving. He flicked his arm up and his wand slid back up his sleeve. A cool trick he'd had ages to practice as an Auror, waiting for something to happen.

When his hand got back onto her hip, Daphne spoke up "Father wants to know what your angle is."

"My angle?" asked Harry.

"Returning my letters and the money we paid. What do you want?" asked Daphne in a very proper accent, her eyes quite narrow and, Harry realised, grumpy looking, for her; and she usually looked dismissive of the world at best.

"I found your letters after I'd shaken your family down" admitted Harry "And I felt so guilty."

"Guilty?" asked Daphne, looking at Harry sideways as they turned the other way. The tendons of her neck stuck out.

"You put all your hope in me, and I ignored you. Then, when I did help you, I only did it for money. I'm sorry" said Harry.

"You're sorry?" said Daphne "Sorry you helped us?"

"Sorry for charging. If I'd seen my mail, I'd have known a decade earlier, done something." said Harry.

"You didn't know how when you were ten." said Daphne "I was a silly little girl" she said dismissively.

"Oh come on" said Harry "You'd been told Harry Potter was some great saviour, of course you'd ask for some help."

"And now, you choose to leave us in your debt instead." said Daphne.

They danced a bit, not talking. Harry was struck by the … light feet she had. She was clearly wearing those high-heeled shoes women wore for parties, and was still dancing around like she was in comfy slippers. She probably didn't own comfy slippers.

Harry must have let his amusement slip to his face, as Daphne asked "What's so funny?"

"You're very light on your feet" said Harry "A bloody good dancer."

Daphne's lips lifted slightly and her head came up a little, making her look a bit more aristocratic. "Thank you." she said. Her expression quickly slipped back to neutral or even… fairly pissed off.

"What's annoying you" asked Harry "The old bloke that tried to grab your bum?"

"You" said Daphne "You're going to hold me to my letter, aren't you. Marriage." she said it like 'Azkaban.'

Harry shook his head "No" he said "I'm far too busy to marry, and you're not my type."

"And that type is sporty, bad-tempered redheads?" asked Daphne.

Harry sighed "Apparently, though I'd say hot-tempered" Harry said, feeling a distinct lack of fiery red-head in his bed.

Daphne said nothing for a bit, then said quietly "You're still… stuck on her?"

"Apparently, the ability to move on is like being able to floo" said Harry "I don't do either."

Daphne Greengrass snorted. "Tracy says you've adopted the sweetest little girl and that photos of you teaching her to read would cause tooth decay."

"There's a potion for that" said Harry "Tooth decay. Hermione's parents are muggle healers who do it the hard way."

"Ew" said Daphne, and a bit later she asked "You actually are raising a child?"

"I have a nanny who er, looks after Delphini, for example, right now" said Harry.

"And the Nanny provides other services" observed Daphne archly.

"Is a middle-aged war widow with two children, one nearly old enough to start Hogwarts. And not my type." said Harry "Delphini's an orphan, and where she was, they were cruel. No child should have a life like that."

"And the rumour that you donated a ship-load of things to the orphans wing at St Mungos?"

"I had a lot left over from opening my mail backlog" said Harry "I kept a few things, but I had no need for baby clothes, or ten of every common children's book"

"And the bit where you gave all the little girls jewellery?" asked Daphne.

"People sent a bucket of Jewellery, I transfigured it a bit." Harry replied.

"And you're wearing … how many rings are you wearing?"

"One P, one B, one emerald to remind me of my mother, and one for fun" said Harry.

Where's the fun one" asked Daphne, after looking at Harry's hand in a turn.

"On your hip" said Harry "Coincidence."

Daphne leaned in to Harry on a forward step and said in that flirty whisper "Oh, no it's not."

"Can you not do that" said Harry, feeling that chill on his back and that his pants were too tight. "You're not my type." he said.

"You've dated two witches, one was an utter disaster, and the other Cho Chang" said Daphne. Harry blushed. And mentally complimented her on that line. This must be the straight man act for Tracey.

"I um, want to see the next Daphne Greengrass Tracey Davis double act" blurted Harry "Tracey on her own is a bit like eating horseradish. Ernie tells me you two are really funny as a duo."

"Fall Ball" said Daphne, with a slight smile. "Which has more people our age, and a few less arse pinchers."

She spun away and switched hands and looked at his other hand "What is that?" she asked.

"Old family thing" said Harry. "What do you do all day?"

"I do tenant management for the family business" said Daphne.

"I spend all day on my mail backlog. I'm making lists of who wrote letters so people can get a thank-you card." said Harry.

"You need to handle tenant complaints the same week, or lose tenants to better landlords. Like me, for example "said Daphne with a smile.

"Oh I could complain about my tenants" complained Harry, his blood boiling, thinking… jammy buggers got free houses.

Harry finished the dance with Daphne and had to go to the high table for the actual meal, where rich, boring people had paid more to sit at the same table as Harry. By the end of the night, Harry was idly thinking Malfoys wedding had been less awful. Bole Smith was a boring old man, but didn't go on about their 'delightful grand-daughter, nearly your age'.

Harry went home and found a Delphini in his bed. He went to sleep anyway.

Delphini settled down and after a week or two, wasn't wetting her sleep pants any more. She was also more inclined to just relocate herself into Harry's bed at night.

The witches doing the thank-you cards got finished, and Harry paid them off, and only had several hundred more letters to do.

Delphini slowly lost the pinched look on her face, used longer sentences, and could read simple books on her own. Mail kept coming, fan mail, weirdos writing letters, and the occasional witch with a camera. Harry kept to his policy of just burning the photos.

Ron and Hermione dropped by, most weekends and Ron started teaching Delphini wizards chess. She wasn't good at remembering how the pieces worked, but they told her. Harry was pleased to see the chess pieces were polite to her as a small child.

Hermione, seeing the books Harry read her, came with a thick, wrinkled paperback and said she was going to read Delphini a story called "The Hobbit."

"What's a hobbit?" asked Delphini. Hermione explained.

"Are hobbits real?" asked Delphini, and Hermione shook her head.

"Dwarves are" said Hermione. "And the other character is a very old wizard, who get the Hobbit to go on an adventure."

"Costume" said Delphini firmly.

"What?" asked Hermione.

Harry explained.

"I have to wear a costume?" asked Hermione.

"Well, Hobbits are short right?" asked Ron "You can do that."

"I'll have to dress as Gandalf" said Hermione, and conjured up some grey robes, and a grey hat and a staff, and started reading the story.

Harry, playing Ron at chess, listened with one ear. When Gandalf was described as having a beard, , Delphini predictably insisted on the costume including a beard.

"I'm a witch, I'm not wearing a beard" said Hermione.

Ron drew his wand and hit Hermione with a jinx his brothers must have used, and Hermione suddenly grew a long grey beard. Delphini giggled,

"Bravo on the costume" said Harry, and snorted.

Hermione retaliated by giving Ron asses-ears, and then Harry antlers.

Ron chose not to react, simply saying "Harry, your move mate."

When Fiona came in to borrow a book from the shelf she stopped and stared at all the adults looking silly, with beards, asses ears and antlers.

"We're reading the hobbit" said Hermione "I'm dressed as Gandalf."

"What's the Hobbit?" asked Fiona, so Hermione explained. "I'll leave it here and you can read it" Hermione suggested. "But Delphini will need it for stories."

A day later, Sarah had to read Delphini a chapter of The Hobbit dressed as Gandalf. She looked at Harry, who shrugged.

When it was Harry's turn, days later to read Delphini some The Hobbit with Ron lying on a couch with Hermione, Fiona and Septimus came to hear it too.

Harry kept stopping and explaining about the creatures they met in the story.

Time passed.

Davis's list of Black family properties had included an island down by the isle of Wight.

Harry apparated there one afternoon, hoping of find somewhere for a family outing. Sarah could bring her children, they could have a picnic. That sort of thing.

Harry appeared on an unexpectedly desolate island, green slopes with razor wire in coils across the beaches, and signs facing out.

Harry apparated onto the beach and read the sign 'Keep Out MOD Property. This is a prohibited place within the meaning of the Official Secrets Act. Unauthorised persons entering the area may be arrested and prosecuted.'

Harry disillusioned himself. Clearly the muggle-repelling charms had failed. The Ministry of Defence had nicked his bloody island.

Harry went home and made a note on the parchment.

Days passed. Fiona and Septimus explored the outbuildings, and apparently there were regular, non-post owls in the barn. And no Hobbit holes.

Delphini was finally reading books. She liked to read the same books over and over, and insisted on three stories read to her a day. Which was, Harry recalled exactly what he'd promised in their first days together.

Harry got all his old mail dealt with. Leaving the stuff that arrived new every day.

Many of the old fossils from the St Mungos fundraiser had evidently decided Harry was their friend and wrote long letters to him.

The Fall ball approached, and Harry mentioned he was going.

"So have you got a costume?" asked Sarah.

"A costume?" asked Harry.

Apparently it was costume ball. Traditional themes were medieval dress, or animal costumes enchanted to waggle ears and so forth.

Harry went and threw himself on the mercy of Madame Malkin, and got a Green medieval tunic and silly shoes. He wasn't sure about the green tights, or the hat with a feather in it.

Sarah insisted he show the children and Delphini looked confused. "Father?" she asked, and that for some reason made Sarah laugh and laugh.

Harry, thanks to a last-minute demand for a story got to the ball a little later than Sarah had organised. She treated him like a sort of little brother really.

Harry stepped out of the floo at the Ministry Atrium, and stared.

Massive conjured trees had turned the atrium into a forest, and conjured rough wooden tables made it like a massive forest glade with some sort of medieval party going on. The music was being played on odd instruments, but he recognised the tunes, sort-of.

People were dancing, as were fantastical animal costumes.

Harry looked around and finally spotted people roughly his age, and some he even recognised.

He wandered over, only having to shake a hundred or maybe two hundred hands.

He found some people he was pretty sure were Ravenclaws from a year ahead of him in costume, watching as Cormac McLaggen, in tights and a tunic, tried to climb a greased pole, and failed.

Harry spied another group of people in the trees, talking, and found himself arriving at a Tracey Davis and Daphne Greengrass comedy show. They were dressed the sort of old-fashioned robes Harry had seen at Hogwarts on the older paintings. All slit sleeves and silk lining.

"Oh look" said Tracey "It's Robin Potter. He takes from the fans and gives to himself."

"Oh he's not some sort of Robber Baron" said Daphne Greengrass mildly "He gives to the other orphans."

People snorted. Harry smiled politely. Someone handed Harry a wooden mug and said "Mead."

It was actually a good spiced mead. Harry licked his upper lip and caught up with Tracey's next line.

"So there I was, answering Harry Potters fan mail" she said. Harry rolled his eyes.

"And there was a card for Ginny Weasley." said Tracey.

"Poor thing" said Daphne "Only a card."

"Well, we compared notes and Weasley wrote a dozen letters." said Tracey. "Poor Potter was set upon by an obsessive fan."

"Well, someone had to" said Daphne Greengrass "He was a Gryffindor, and everyone knows they need instructions."

Harry snorted. Needed instructions indeed.

"And then poor Potter lost Weasley to Dark Horse Corner." said Tracey.

"Well, if you like tall dark and handsome, you can't go past Michael Corner" said Daphne.

"Well, unless he dumps you for Ginny Weasley" said Tracey.

"I didn't date Corner. One trip to Hogsmeade," said Daphne with a grin. "Not really my type."

"Well, Daphne's pickup-technique is pretty ineffective" said Harry. Was he a bit drunk? Nah.

Daphne Greengrass turned from the small group to Harry, hands on hips "Ineffective?" she said, shaking her head. "I don't think so. You're a tragic Ginny Weasley fan still. There's no point in picking up a wizard with a witch already."

"And since then, he's completely taken by Delphini Black" said Tracey, with a wry smile.

"She's pretty and blonde" said Daphne "Clearly he can get over redheads."

"And my adopted daughter" said Harry.

"And Harry Potter- the man who feeds four-year-olds, teaches her to read." said Tracey "Which is surprising really" she added brightly.

"As he's a Gryffindor" said Daphne utterly blandly.

Many people snorted and laughed.

"I heard Fudge is thinking of making a comeback" said Tracey.

"Really?" asked Daphne casually.

"Yes, apparently he thinks after five years of Shacklebolt what magical Britain needs is an affordably priced corrupt politician." said Tracey, and several people, Harry included laughed.

"Rents are pretty high these days" observed Daphne.

"I hear Harry Potter's going to start offering a payment plan to his tenants. Pay on time and keep a kneecap" said Tracey.

Harry crossed his arms. It was fairly funny, but he hadn't actually hurt anyone. Wanted to, is not the same.

"Well, at least there's quidditch" said Daphne Greengrass.

"And alcohol" said Tracey "Or even better, quidditch and alcohol."

Daphne took a Daily Prophet out of a robe pocket and made a show of reading it.

"The Chudley cannons have won a match" said Daphne very blandly.

"The Montrose magpies went to Falmouth by mistake" said Tracey. Everyone laughed.

"Oy they're not that bad!" said Ron, stalking over in Auror uniform. He looked peeved.

Tracey went a bit red in the face.

Harry blinked, Did… Tracey Davis fancy Ron. Blimey. Hermione wouldn't take too well to that.

"So Tracey" said Daphne smiling guilelessly "What was Harry Potters fan mail like?"

"Well he opened it all himself" said Tracey.

"Such a capable man" said Daphne, to slight titters.

"And read it all, and made lists for us to write thank-you cards from " said Tracey "Wouldn't let us read it."

"So"

"We waited till he was out of the room." said Tracey "Some really racy stuff. Photos."

"Which I burnt without looking at" said Harry firmly.

"He did actually" said Tracey "And got piles and piles of marriage contracts and marriage offers."

"And yet, is still single" said Daphne. "Probably had long words in them."

"Words like magically binding" said Harry blandly "A bad word to find in contracts."

"Old school" said Tracey blandly.

"Made being entered into the Tri-Wizard Tournament look like a day at the park" said Harry.

"Oh, I think for the right witch, most wizards would sign a really old-fashioned contract" said Tracey.

"That takes away free will, you'd have to be mad." said Harry firmly.

The crowd stilled.

"Bloody hell" said Ernie.

"So who sent them, and for who got recorded and then burnt" said Harry "I did think about using the contracts as wallpaper, but they were not good for that."

"No pictures and long words" said Daphne fairly kindly.

"Greengrass" said Ron "Mind what you say. Harry went back and got NEWTs."

"Muggle studies and Divination" said Tracey.

Harry opened his mouth to retort, but it was pretty funny. He shook his head "Defence, Charms, History of Magic, Transfiguration and Potions."

"I don't know what's more disturbing" said Tracey "That Harry Potter want back and did NEWTs, or that he did History of Magic."

"After famously failing fifth year History of Magic" said Daphne.

"I did re-sit fifth OWL History of magic first" said Harry "I got an O plus"

"Nerd alert" said Tracey jokingly.

Hermione arrived and stood beside Ron "Ron I'm sorry you're having to work tonight" she said.

"Well Granger could take him off into the trees and he could search her for concealed wands" said Tracey "And hide a wand while he's at it."

Harry snorted and Hermione and Ron went bright red.

"So if Harry Potter got an O plus in OWL History, what did he get in NEWT History?" asked Daphne.

"A cursed scar and a shag" said Tracey. The group laughed.

"An O plus" said Harry blandly "To go with my O pluses in Defence and Charms"

"And a Poor in potions" said Tracey.

"Acceptable, and an Exceeds expectations in Transfiguration" said Harry "Thought I've got better since" and with that, he transfigured his pointy green hat into a black three-cornered jesters hat with bells, and put it on.

"Nice hat" said Tracey "So you're fooling around?"

"The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man: knows himself to be a fool." quoted Harry.

"Touché'" said Daphne.

"She not my type" said Harry, to laughter from the group.

A jaunty tune, that Harry recognised started and people went off to dance.

Harry looked around and saw Dawlish approaching.

"Ron, Dawlish. Look busy" said Harry, and jingled over to Daphne Greengrass "Daphne, I need a dance partner to avoid Dawlish?"

"I suppose." said Daphne "You will dance like a fool"

"I will dance foolishly" said Harry, leading her onto the clearer dance area "But not like a fool"

"Wearing a fool hat" she said, and Harry put a hand on her hip, and they started to dance.

"I look ridiculous enough without the hat" said Harry.

"Well, you don't have the legs for tights" said Daphne "Knobbly knees"

"Sadly a Potter family trait" said Harry "Like messy hair and sticky-out ears."

"Oh I thought that was just Ginevra pulling your mouth into the right location" said Daphne blandly.

"I know how to kiss a girl, Greengrass" said Harry.

"Such an innocent" said Daphne. Harry didn't retort that Ginny had bloody well loved what he did.

They danced for a bit.

"Sorry but you're a celebrity, so you make funnier material" said Daphne after a bit.

"Doesn't matter" said Harry "You two aren't really being mean, or Death Eaters."

"You really do have a four-year-old adopted daughter?" asked Daphne.

"And my godson who's a little younger." said Harry.

"So you want a witch to provide more children and look after two more" observed Daphne.

"I've got a nanny to help" said Harry "I don't seem to have time for a witch."

"And you expect me to just marry you?" asked Daphne.

"You're not my type" said Harry patiently "I appreciate your sense of humour, and you're a great dancer, and I really didn't want to talk to Dawlish. He was the easy part of my Defence NEWT, and he'll want to talk about me becoming an Auror again."

"The Green-Eyed Terror" said Daphne blandly "Blasting curses."

"I stopped" said Harry. "I stopped that, got my NEWTs and have a job, and a family."