Ashes in your mouth.
Chapter Sixteen: I'm sorry, I'll say that differently this time.In which our hero experiments in saying he's sorry, and has to do something revolting.
Harry got up from his first night sleeping at Slytherin's Nest.
His feet nearly froze on the floor, and Harry decided he really needed some rugs.
The bathroom, being medieval, had no shower at all, and as Harry had a warm bath, he wondered about adding a shower, and permanent hot water; the children couldn't run hot for themselves.
Though, as Delphini insisted on baths assisted by Daddy, that was sort-of moot.
He went downstairs in slippers and opened the door to the big bedroom. Delphini lay asleep on the bed closest to the bathroom, her plush unicorn leaning against the end of the bed, looking a little frayed at the hoof. Harry wondered where Sunny was, and when he went to wake Delphini, Sunny's nose peeked out from behind her hair, tongue flicking out to sniff.
Harry patted Delphini who rolled over and opened her eyes "Mmm?" she said.
"Time to get up" said Harry.
"I'm tired" yawned Delphini. "So tired." Harry ignored her puppy-dog eyes.
Harry turned on the tap above the bath, starting the cold water, and looked at the worn plush unicorn.
"Delphini, did you ride your unicorn all night?" asked Harry.
Delphini stared at Harry with huge eyes. "So tired" she said.
Harry nodded, he wondered why she thought making huge eyes would work, "I'll mend your unicorn's hooves, while a bath runs" said Harry, and he sat on the end of the bed and picked up the unicorn. Which had a couple of kiddy brooms badly tied to the saddle.
Harry closed his eyes, and counted to ten. He was not going to yell. Or raise his voice.
He took the kiddie brooms off, and started repair-charming the plush hooves, wondering about adding leather … boots on the hooves. They'd look more realistic too.
A small pair of arms wrapped around his shoulders. "Daddy" said Delphini. Harry's chest filled with a warmth that wasn't physical.
"Why were there brooms tied to the unicorn?" asked Harry as neutrally as he could, trying not to emulate his uncle Vernon.
"For jumping higher" said Delphini "And going fast." Harry tried to ignore that.
A quick heating charm made the water warm enough, and bath-time commenced.
Harry bathed Delphini, dried her hair off and went downstairs to the 'kitchen-ish' part and made some tea and a rack of toast, which he left by the fireplace to stay warm.
Harry settled down on a chair to breakfast, and the Pottingers soon arrived, looking tired.
"Did Delphini keep you all awake?" asked Harry, dreading the answer.
"She kept Septimus and Fiona up till all hours, and I kept reading a book until they came down to bed" said Sarah. "Is there going to be bacon and eggs?"
Harry summoned some bacon from the pantry-box and threw it on a frying pan, and swung a platform for it into the fire.
"A few minutes" said Harry. "Fried or scrambled?"
"Should I be doing that?" asked Sarah.
"I've cooked a lot of breakfasts" said Harry dismissively.
"Could you get a house elf?" asked Fiona. "Like Kreacher, but not a Black elf"
"How does one even do that?" asked Harry, mostly rhetorically.
"House Elf Relocation office of the department for the regulation and control of magical creatures" said Sarah "They're rather expensive."
"Then I'll look into it" said Harry vaguely, intending to 'forget' to as soon as possible. "Delphini should be here soon."
Delphini arrived in fluffy boots, but was underwhelmed with scrambled egg, but managed to end up wearing some anyway.
Harry left her with Sarah and went off by apparating from the stone circle around the tower, to get the floo connected.
The ministry was a mass of slow moving staff and memos in the early morning, and Harry waited for the Floo Network Authority office to open. People stared at him and whispered. Harry tried to ignore it.
"I'd like to get my floo connected" said Harry, and handed over apparation coordinates.
"What name would you like" asked the clerk mechanically, not even looking up from their desk.
"Slytherins's nest" said Harry casually.
The clerk flicked through a card index, and replied "That address is taken. Please choose something else"
"Um… Slytherin's nest two?" asked Harry.
"You'd need to get Slytherin's nest seven" suggested the clerk.
" Slytherin's nest seven then" said Harry, feeling a little annoyed.
"Three galleons" said the clerk "Annual fee is one galleon."
Harry finished filling in the form, and handed it over.
The clerk read along then looked up "You're really Harry Potter?" they asked.
Harry nodded.
"And you live at an Actual Slytherins Nest?"
"Well and renting rooms at Black Manor, so yes "said Harry.
"What about your parent's cottage at Godrics Hollow?"
"I sold it to pay for roofing work" said Harry, "When will the connection be put on?"
"Sometime in the next few weeks" said the clerk. "We'll owl a day before."
On the way back out of the ministry, Percy Weasley, looking a consummate ministry functionary, stopped Harry in the Atrium.
"Harry" said Percy "Good to see you. Talking about restarting as an Auror?"
"NO" said Harry "Getting the floo connected at Slytherins' nest"
Percy looked awkwardly at Harry "You're not… going to make a big thing of that, are you?" he asked. "It's just… people see that name, and they assume … certain things"
"Percy, you've known for years that I'm a parselmouth" said Harry "It's the same thing. A small keep in Cheshire, and an almost completely useless magical talent." And Harry was never going to tell Percy about any uses parseltounge might have. That was his little sister, after all.
"And a vote on the Hogwarts board of Governors, and that is a grave responsibility" said Percy.
"And nothing to do with the Ministry" said Harry, feeling irritated, "Or I'd have less trouble with funding."
Percy looked a bit put out himself at that last remark "Harry, you caused certain eyebrows to raise, selling your… affections like that to raise funds for Hogwarts."
Harry sighed, closed his eyes and counted to ten. It seemed to work with Delphini, so maybe Percy too. He opened his eyes and Percy was looking at him oddly.
"What are you doing Harry?" asked Percy.
"Taking a deep breath and counting to ten" said Harry "It's no different to the fundraising I've done for St Mungo's. All I did was dance and eat dinner."
"But the Greengrass girl, Harry…. She was wearing a wedding dress. And you two have been seen at every ball" said Percy.
"Percy, I'm not dating Daphne Greengrass. If I was, she wouldn't have run off crying the other day" said Harry.
Percy frowned "Why would she run off crying?" asked Percy.
"All I did was say it wasn't a date" said Harry "Bill's already given me a stern talking to about it" he added sarcastically.
"Bill? My brother Bill?" asked Percy.
"Your married brother Bill, the one with one child and another on the way. That Bill." said Harry sarcastically.
"What would Bill, who was a rake and a louche, say to you?" asked Percy, blinking rather quickly.
Harry wasn't sure what a rake or a louche was, but figured it was negative. "Percy, he told me to apologise, and stuff" said Harry.
"Bill?" asked Percy.
"Percy, Bill's married. To a – part Veela. He knows about relationships." said Harry.
Percy inhaled pompously, about, Harry didn't doubt to give his opinion of Bill's pre-marital behaviour.
"Percy. No" said Harry "I'm not listening to Bill and I'm not listening to you. I'm an honorary Weasley, but I've got a daughter and practically a son to look after with Teddy. I haven't got time for all that stuff. And certainly not time for some crying woman."
Percy blinked and stared at Harry. "You're renting Black manor out as apartments. That's upset some people too" added Percy. Harry felt like a real Weasley at that point – fed up with Percy's pompousness.
"Well, I need the money and don't like the place much" said Harry "And can't sell it, it's entailed."
Percy looked thoughtful. "Harry?" he asked "When you do get married, I am invited aren't I? It's just Penelope wants to see it. Says it will be the society event of the decade."
"Percy. I'm not sure I'm ever doing that" said Harry with some finality. "But you're not that much older than me, so you will probably be alive if it ever happens."
"Harry, didn't the war teach you about the shortness of life, the need to live life to the fullest?" asked Percy.
Harry tilted his head "Mostly" said Harry quietly "It gave me screaming nightmares, well, and scars. So no." Percy gulped, and tried to gather his wits, so Harry started walking. Away.
As Harry left the ministry to a designated apparition point, he wondered, what the hell Percy was on about. And Bill. They were both all up in his shit, like Hermione. At least Hermione wasn't butting in right now. Harry thought of his mental list of friends; Hermione was still in first place.
Harry apparated home and found himself at the doors of Black Manor by mistake. He decided to make it look intentional, and went in.
Francis, who was one of Harry's new staff came out of the study and looked at Harry with surprise. She tended to wear quite baggy black robes that hung on her like a folded umbrella.
"Mr Black" she said. "Everything fine. Nothing's broken or on fire. And there's certainly not a llama on the third floor."
Harry nodded. "Okay" said Harry, ignoring the remark about a llama. "Any new tenants?"
"One letter I was going to forward to you tonight" said Francis. "A bit awkward." She wrung her hands.
Harry walked over to the study door and Francis got Harry a letter.
"It's a room rental" she said.
Harry looked at the letter. The handwriting was quite familiar.
'… one room would be quite sufficient.
Hermione J Granger.'
"I wasn't sure what to do, sir" said Francis "As Miss Granger's your friend."
Harry looked at the letter from Hermione.
"Um, well she's good for the rent" said Harry "And if she wants to stay here now she can rent a room and I don't live here, that's her business, I suppose."
"Do you want to um, waive the rent?" asked Francis.
"Yes, but I also need to pay you and Dick" said Harry "So rent."
Francis nodded.
"Is she approved, then?" asked Francis nervously.
"Yes, send her an owl" said Harry. "Any more?"
"The Winde family want two suites" said Francis "But they're… travelling people. Move around a lot. On boats."
"Take money in advance then" said Harry "I can throw them out if need be."
Francis looked apprehensive at that, and Harry left, there was just no point going on.
He had an invite to Sunday lunch at the Burrow, so he went and… Bill hexed him to have asses ears when he (and Fleur) determined that Harry hadn't exactly apologised to Daphne Greengrass. George had the good grace to not laugh too hard, and Ron only made one joke about finding some carrots for him.
Mr and Mrs Weasley ignored it – their idea of high-spirited fun had been tempered by the twins.
Delphini, on the other hand, when he got home, pulled on his ears, shouted into them and … stroked them, which tickled. The Pottingers did a very good impression of not laughing.
That night, Delphini pulled his ears to wake him up twice. Apparently he needed to provide emergency piggy-back rides as he resembled her plush unicorn.
-==0==-
The next morning, after breakfast and the minimum of incoming mail processing, Harry dressed to go out, and left his ear-puller behind.
Harry flooed over to the Greengrasses, brushed the soot out of his asses ears and a house elf appeared with a pop. The hallway with the fireplace had a long sweeping staircase upwards.
"Who is you visiting" asked the elf.
"Daphne Greengrass" said Harry.
"And who is you Donkey man?"
"Harry Potter. I'm here to apologise." said Harry, lips pursed. Harry felt quite irritated. Bill had been very clear about how the curse worked.
Daphne Greengrass descended the staircase fairly imperiously in a robe, to stop short, and burst out laughing.
"Asses ears?" she said, giggling "You've got asses ears?"
"I have a friend who's a cursebreaker" said Harry "He thinks this is funny."
"Well you have been an ass" said Daphne trying to keep a straight face, and failing.
"I … I'd like to apologise." said Harry. "It'll stop the curse. My daughter pulls my ears."
Greengrass laughed more, she went pink in the face. "I take it if you apologise, your ears will go back to normal?" she said,
Harry stood, looking grumpy-and ass-eared. "Yes" he said.
"Can I just get Tracey on the Floo, you really do look most amusing." said Daphne.
"I'm sorry I said it wasn't a date. If we go somewhere for anything, it's a date." said Harry.
"No, not I decide it isn't" said Daphne Greengrass.
Harry clenched his fists "That's totally unreasonable" said Harry "I apologised, you can't just go changing the rules on me!"
"Now do you understand why you were an ass?" asked Daphne, mostly-straight faced, walking down to stand near Harry.
"Fine. I was a complete ass, and I won't do it again" said Harry.
"If I … are they as soft as they look?" asked Daphne, staring at Harry's head.
"Delphini loves them" admitted Harry. "But she yanks on them and yells in them, it's really unpleasant." That sad thought made the asses-ears on Harry's head droop slightly, no longer upright, more spread to both sides.
Daphne reached over and stroked his left ear experimentally "Well they're very soft and fluffy" said Greengrass.
Harry twitched "Can you not" said Harry, his asses ears perking back up.
Daphne Greengrass burst out laughing again "Oh my, your ears are erect" she said. Harry's ears also twitched to point at Daphne.
"Oh, I have your full attention, I see" said Daphne "I don't want to, because you were an ass, and you hurt my feelings, and I want to show Tracey, but I suppose I can just learn the ass-ear curse from your friend. Mr or Mrs Weasley-Delacour?"
"Bill" said Harry tightly.
"I accept your apology Harry Potter" said Daphne, and Harry's ears melted and reformed as perfectly ordinary human ears.
"Shame, they were so soft and fluffy" said Daphne sarcastically.
"Well, I expect I'll see you at the next major event" said Harry, turning to leave.
"No no no no" said Daphne "You're earning forgiveness. You can come to something I have to go to."
"Oh, what?" asked Harry.
"Something so vile and despicable, it's guaranteed to have you vomiting" said Daphne.
"I was an Auror, I can cope" said Harry grimly.
"Draco and Astoria's Baby shower." said Daphne "They're officially announcing the gestation of their first child."
"No" said Harry, eyes wide "Not… a Malfoy event. I have nightmares about that place."
"Tough" said Daphne curtly "I walked in on them in the billiard room once. Never again. You're coming to ensure certain people behave."
"They hate me" said Harry.
"Yes, it's quite convenient" said Daphne, smiling sharply, "I find the thought of that creep touching my sister nauseating, so you can be dragged along as you're his cousin anyway, and head of the Blacks."
"I'm not taking my children there" said Harry certainly.
"It's not a child-friendly event. Speeches, toasts and nothing to eat. Nobody takes children, and they usually only last a few hours" said Daphne.
"I don't drink any more" said Harry.
"As he'll be serving non-alcoholic punch for Astoria, not a problem." said Daphne. "I'm not drinking either, as I might say something offensive, You're coming as my plus one, someone who comes to things with me to piss off Draco."
"Should I tell my Aunt Andromeda?" asked Harry.
"Are she and Narcissa on speaking terms?" asked Daphne.
"Oh god no." said Harry.
"Then tell her, but she won't attend." said Daphne. "Narcissa will be in full Dowager Malfoy mode"
"Lucius isn't dead though" said Harry "Just incarcerated."
"He abdicated to Draco could run things" said Daphne "If he was there he'd be merely a wannabe grandfather."
"He's utterly incapable of doing that without being awful" said Harry.
"I do know him, Potter" said Daphne "We grew up going to Sacred-Twenty-Eight things,"
"Is this a Sacred-Twenty-Eight thing?" asked Harry.
"Only closer family" said Daphne. "My family, them and a few relations. You, for example, and if Lucius's parents were still alive, them. Aunts, Uncles, so some Rosiers, Crabbes and Yakleys from my family."
-==0==-
Neville came to visit at Slytherins' Nest with Hannah.
Neville came out of the fireplace and stood, Hannah stepping out beside Neville with grace.
Hannah looked around the main room curiously "No snakes?" she asked, spelling away soot.
"Sunny… our pet snake is around somewhere" said Harry, feeling the need to forestall that line of discussion.
"Well, can we have the tour?" asked Neville.
Harry showed them the basement; explained the tent had the Pottinger's in it, and took them up to see the big sleeping room. Harry opened the door in time to see Delphini vaulting the plush unicorn from one bed to the next, brooms tied on while Teddy giggled and cheered "Three" called out Teddy.
Harry drew his wand and arrested Delphini's movement "Delphini" said Harry "What did I say about tying brooms to the toy unicorn?"
Delphini smiled innocently "Nothing daddy. Who's that?"
"Neville, Hannah, Delphini and Teddy," said Harry, closing the door.
"What's through the doorway?" asked Hannah as the climbed stairs, she wasn't sniggering, mostly.
"Bathroom. Same as the one off my room, but probably not as tidy" said Harry.
Harry showed the small sitting room the bedroom the bathroom, and the small workroom.
"It's… not insanely huge like Black Manor" said Neville tactfully.
Harry showed off the top floor, where Sarah had deposited a few folding beach chairs.
"What's it like being here instead of Black Manor?" asked Hannah.
"Two and a half thousand galleons a year profit, probably, and no elf" said Harry "I'll live without the elf."
Neville snorted "Well planned" he said "Well planned Harry."
Harry shrugged. "Fancy sitting?" he asked.
Everyone sat in the sunshine.
"Harry, this is oddly cosy, for a castle" said Neville. "Sort of suits you too."
"It's not much" said Harry "But I've got Delphini and Teddy can sleep over, so it's pretty good really."
"Are you going to ask Daphne on another date?" blurted Hannah "It's just she's had weeks to get over your last rotten date."
"I'm not dating Daphne Greengrass" said Harry "It was all a disaster."
"Neville didn't talk to me for three dates" said Hannah.
"My jaw was spelled shut, I'd had it broken by Amicus Carrow." said Neville.
"Pomfrey says otherwise" said Hannah. "I never thought Harry Potter was that shy."
"I don't want to ruin it" admitted Harry "Doing stuff with Daphne's not awkward. Well, except when she either cries or whispers in my ear" Harry paused "Well, and joking about S&M. That's pretty awkward."
Hannah went red in the face, and Neville patted her knee.
"Harry, maybe don't tell us about her kinky habits" said Neville.
"Sally Smith says she's not" said Hannah "But she knows Tracey and Pansy well, so lots of smutty talk from Tracey and Pansy used to brag about her… activities with Draco to the whole dorm room."
Hannah looked thoughtful "She might be a closet pervert. Is Harry?"
Neville shook his head "Harry's rubbish with girls."
"I'm right here" protested Harry, who definitely wasn't going to mention Ginny's reaction to certain acts.
"Well are you?" asked Hannah.
"No, I said, I don't want to ruin it" said Harry.
"Harry" said Neville softly "Why not?"
"I told you. I'm not rich and … I like having a … girl for dances and stuff. No pressure." said Harry.
"Right" said Neville "Tomorrow, Madam Puddifoots, ten am then."
"I hate that place" protested Harry "And I already apologised"
Neville frowned "You apologised?" he asked.
"Bill Weasley turned my ears into asses ears" admitted Harry "I had to apologise to get human ears"
"That doesn't count" said Hannah surely, and the ends of her mouth twitched upwards.
"I agreed to go to … a vile and awful event with her" said Harry.
"This'll be good practice" said Neville sternly.
Neville came to drag Harry to Hogsmeade the next day.
"I don't want to, I hate that place" complained Harry, but bloody Neville was wider and heavier than Harry.
"You have to apologise with a date" said Neville "You can't leave Daphne annoyed, you two would be enemies for a century. Besides, you two always look like you're having fun together."
Harry stepped out of the fireplace into the Three Broomsticks, nearly fell, and Neville stepped out and held Harry's elbow, taking him out of the bar and into the street, and along to Madam Puddifoots tea-shop. Neville was not quite twisting Harry's arm up behind his back. Harry stumbled a little.
Harry had no idea they served ice-cream but Daphne clearly did and was a regular visitor, by the way she chatted with Madam Puddifoot.
"We could go for a walk" said Harry.
"There's The Shrieking Shack" said Daphne "Something happened there, didn't it?"
"Shrieking, well you have hidden depths" said Harry.
"Don't be ridiculous" said Daphne, "Is it part of Hogwarts?"
"That's a tricky one" said Harry "I think professor Dumbledore bought it."
"What?" asked Daphne.
"Not here" said Harry.
They walked to The Shrieking Shack, Harry feeling uncomfortable.
"It's not really haunted, you know" said Daphne.
"It's just, last day of the war, Snape died here." admitted Harry "Voldemort was using it a headquarters on the day, and killed Snape."
"Why?" asked Daphne.
"Not till we're out of eye-shot" said Harry "lip-readers."
Harry unlocking-charmed the door, and they got into The Shrieking Shack, and Daphne avoided all the dirty surfaces. Which was all of them really.
Harry explained about Snape. Daphne blinked "He… he actually was a double agent?"
"Well more triple." said Harry "He worked for Snape. But he'd sworn to save me."
"Magical vow?" asked Daphne.
"No, just a regular one" said Harry "A magical vow to help Malfoy with the task Voldemort assigned him. His mother and aunt put Snape up to that."
"Why was it The Shrieking Shack? It can't be ghosts, not really?" asked Daphne, and Harry explained that too.
"Professor Lupin" said Daphne "As a child?"
"The screams were his transformations" said Harry.
They left the Shrieking Shack.
"Well this has been a fairly unobjectionable date" said Daphne.
Harry stood expectantly.
"Are you expecting a kiss?" asked Daphne neutrally.
"I um… I'm sorry I said it wasn't a date. Several friends, some married have explained using small words that I was wrong." said Harry.
"You don't get a kiss." said Daphne. "You haven't erased the stain of that yet."
"I um…" said Harry.
"You what?"
"I have something to tell you" said Harry. "I don't think you know."
Daphne Greengrass rolled her eyes. "What?" she said, starting to sound more irritated like Harry's aunt Petunia.
"I um... I'm not rich. The goblins took all my money at the end of the way. When Gringotts was nearly ruined, with a dragon escaping that was me. Well, us." said Harry "And all the Black family rentals in England were lost to adverse possession. I'm lucky to be able to rent the manor and my château out. Every year, the Blacks get levied for extraordinary spending. So this is probably our last date."
Daphne Greengrass stared at Harry thoughtfully "You… how do you make ends meet?"
"I rent out the château and the gîte, and I'm really good at repair charms" said Harry, and he paused "The manor being rented out will really help. I'm not rich like the sacred twenty-eight."
"But you make ends meet on two rents." said Daphne, sounding fascinated for some strange reason "You actually have hidden depths of competence." she added.
"What?" asked Harry, feeling confused.
"If I managed a budget that well growing up I'm sure my father would have praised me" said Daphne "And to be honest, there's no way father could demand a bride price, not after what you did."
"I gave it back" said Harry "And you got irritated."
"You grow on people" said Daphne "I'll split the bill for a cinema trip next week. Owl me."
And with that, she vanished with a crack of disapparation.
Harry was left standing inside The Shrieking Shack, wondering what was going on.
-==0==-
"Harry?" asked Daphne quietly, over post-cinema butterbeers at The Three Broomsticks "Why did you live with muggles, growing up?"
Harry explained about Harry's mothers protection, a blood protection. Harry could not be harmed while he was with blood relatives.
"So your mother protected you using blood magic, and that's why you lived with your relatives" said Daphne.
Harry nodded.
"Like… technically Tom Riddle?" asked Daphne.
Harry couldn't think what to say, his mouth fell open. Suddenly some of his adventures sounded… less dangerous and more… ridiculous.
"That's how you survived duelling him at fourteen?" asked Daphne.
"Um, I dunno about that" said Harry, defensively "Our wands also had the same core, feathers from the same phoenix, so the priori-inctantanen effect happened when our spells collided, and well, there was a golden cage of magic and phoenix song, and all the spells Tom did came out backwards. The ghosts of the people he'd killed recently came out and delayed him." Harry stopped "Including mum and dad, actually."
Daphne Greengrass stared at Harry incredulously "How… what the hell is the priori-inctanten effect?"
"An obscure bit of wandlore mostly" said Harry resignedly "Tom took wands from his followers to try to get around it, and finally took the elder wand. Of course, the Elder wand's a fickle thing, and he hadn't won it, so it served him poorly. Then…. It gets complicated" finished Harry.
Daphne Greengrass clicked her fingers in the air and Madam Rosmerta came over "Yes Dear?" she asked.
"I need a mug of absinthe, a hangover potion and cheese on toast" said Daphne croakily.
Madam Rosmerta frowned "Did he just break up with you?" she asked. Fairly nosily, thought Harry.
"No, just gave me a five-minute talk on obscure facets of wandlore" said Daphne "So I'm going to get very drunk, eat cheese on toast, and go home and feel inadequate for a little while."
"Wandlore?" asked Madam Rosmerta "I suppose you learnt that from them monks, that taught him before he was at Hogwarts."
"Dumbledore, my sixth year at Hogwarts" said Harry quietly "a crash course on defeating a dark lord."
-==0==-
Harry went home feeling oddly annoyed. He hadn't intended for Greengrass to feel inadequate. She was, as far as Harry had observed a decent witch.
Delphini ate dinner, and Harry slipped into the daily routine of cleaning up her dress, her face and hands.
-==0==-
Lunch was interrupted,days later, oddly by Daphne Greengrass appearing from the fireplace.
"Potter" she said "I just had a very odd conversation with Ginevra Weasley."
Harry tried to understand how Ginny could have said something odd. Daphne knew about the stone, so that couldn't be it.
"I would appreciate a quiet, private conversation" said Daphne, the Pottingers staring, Delphini doing something awful with her toast.
"Delphini dear. Please don't mangle your toast" said Harry.
Delphini looked at him intently "Daffy's here" said Delphini "She is going to be mummy, isn't she?"
Harry's eyes darted to Daphne Greengrass's face, and she had pursed lips.
"Um… I'll just take Daphne to the living room for a chat" said Harry, and he stood up and went to the corkscrew staircase and climbed up two floors, and opened the door into the room that wasn't a bedroom, and walked in and sat down, trying not to fidget.
Daphne shut the door behind her.
"Very medieval" she said neutrally.
"Please, sit?" asked Harry, and Daphne shook her head slightly, and sat, and crossed her legs, revealing an elegant boot under the hem of her robe.
"Ginevra met me in Diagon alley, and under a privacy charm I've never heard of, said, something like 'you can have what's left of Harry Potter, he's not half the man he used to be.'" Daphne raised her eyebrows "And what could she be referring to?"
"I um… was pretty messed up, after the war" said Harry thoughtfully, and wondered what Ginny's angle was. Well… she couldn't possibly be talking about … that, could she?
"Everyone knew that" said Daphne "And you're a lot improved. That temper of yours is not running the show."
"And when she said your kisses were a pale shadow of what they used to be?" asked Daphne "Not that you've kissed Ginevra Weasley recently, Have you, Harry Potter?"
Harry shook his head "Haven't seen her except at a few parties. Certainly haven't kissed her since she decided to dump me."
Daphne Greengrass adjusted herself in her seat and nodded minutely.
"Considering that you're a quite good kisser, one wonders what the blazes she's on about?" said Daphne.
Harry wondered about that for a bit. After the war, he'd … he'd jolly well given that second to last kiss all he had, except for the parseltounge hissing… he… Harry realised, he really hadn't spoken Parseltounge after the war, until Sunny bit him in his sleep. Harry gave that a moments thought…. Ginny had really liked that in kissing and … well the other stuff. Harry felt his face redden.
"Potter, you've worked out what Weasley is on about. Tell me, and nothing ill will come of it." said Daphne.
"I um used to um, speak parseltounge while kissing. It um, tickles. Apparently." said Harry, wondering about moving to Tibet, to live in a monastery.
Daphne looked down her nose at Harry"And, you stopped doing that why?"
"I um, after the war, I can't really speak it anymore" said Harry.
"Why ever not?" asked Daphne.
"I can't really say – dark secrets of the war" said Harry. "Having Delphini helped me remember it, and I've probably picked up a few more words, but I used … it was instinctive. Now it's not."
"And the thought of tickly kisses makes you blush. Honestly Potter you're such a little boy." said Daphne.
"It um helps with other stuff." said Harry, cringing.
Daphne blinked, then froze and blushed. "AM I to understand that Teen Witch Weekly's article touting the sexual prowess of Parselmouth healers from India is in fact… not fiction?" she said.
"Um… a bit." said Harry, wishing the couch will swallow him. It'd be quicker than going to Tibet.
Daphne Greengrass sat more forward on the couch she was sitting on and extended a hand, palm down.
"You may kiss the back of my hand" she said.
Harry got up, leaned forward and, holding her hand… so cool and smaller than he expected, he kissed it gently, then hissed "$Stop$," because he could remember how that went.
Daphne Greengrass squealed, and snatched her hand back.
"And you lost this ability" asked Daphne.
"Sort of yeah" said Harry.
"And failed to ensure that I am Daphne Greengrass, not some impostor using polyjuice. Why, I could have painted my hand with poison." she said.
Harry stood up properly "Recognition question then?"
"Tracey was obsessed with an Auror for years" said Daphne.
Harry nodded. "You're Daphne." he said.
Daphne stood up "Of course, a truly evil adversary would have tortured a recognition question out of Daphne."
Harry stepped over and, one hand on her hair over one ear, kissed Daphne firmly on the lips, which Daphne countered by grabbing Harry's shirt front and kissing firmly in reply.
"Definitely Daphne" said Harry confidently.
"And what's that parseltounge kiss like then?" asked Daphne.
Harry leaned forward , kissed gently, and spoke up in parseltounge "Well, a bit like this really", and Daphne Greengrass suddenly pushed away from him like she was revolted. Which made no sense, Ginny had erm liked that an awful lot.
Harry stopped trying to parseltounge kiss a Daphne struggling to get out of Harry's arms.
"Are you all right?" asked Harry.
"That was utterly revolting" said Daphne Greengrass, crossing her arms "I can't see why anyone would find that pleasurable."
"Ginny um, quite liked it" said Harry defensively.
"Did she just" said Daphne with a sneer "Well, save that for the next time you date miss Weasley then."
Harry sat down awfully confused. Daphne sat, instead of fleeing the room, so that was a thing anyway, thought Harry.
"Umm" said Harry, unsure what to do. He'd sort-of expected Daphne to like parseltounge kissing – to cling to him and get red in the face.
"What on earth would make you think that doing dark magic on me would be attractive?" asked Daphne Greengrass very precisely.
"It's not dark magic" protested Harry "It's just the inherited ability to talk to snakes."
"You got it from the Slytherin's somehow" said Daphne.
"Distant relation" said Harry "Through mum's side of the family."
"Well I don't like it, never do it again" said Daphne.
"Again?" asked Harry.
"The next time you kiss me" said Daphne "Which won't be today."
"Oh" said Harry, and she left.
Still, he didn't have asses ears, so there was that.
-==0==-
A letter arrived by barn owl three days later. Reminding Harry to come to Greengrass Easting at one pm tomorrow, to accompany Daphne to Draco and Astoria's baby shower.
Harry took the letter and a squirmy girl-sized bundle of Delphini to Andromeda's house. While she and Teddy ran around the back yard playing 'quidditch' with ordinary sticks as pretend brooms, Harry explained about the date, and handed over the letter.
"How utterly vile" said Andromeda.
"I didn't expect you'd want to go" said Harry.
"That poor, deluded girl" said Andromeda in glassy tones. "Mating with the spawn."
Harry smiled slightly at that.
"So you're taking your girlfriend, her sister, who you're always seen with?" asked Andromeda.
"Not my girlfriend" said Harry. "A date, mostly to upset Malfoys – and Daphne dislikes the git, and finds the idea he touches her sister nauseating."
"Oh, she does have redeeming features, apart from her looks" said Andromeda.
"She's funny" said Harry "And a good dancer, and not a fan."
"Well, I suppose that will have to do" said Andromeda.
"Have to do?" asked Harry.
"You are going to marry her, aren't you?" asked Andromeda, raising one eyebrow.
"Er, why?" asked Harry. Who might have imagined having Daphne Greengrass in bed, but couldn't make the mental leap to marrying her. She didn't like him that much anyway.
"Because you're seen at everything together, and act as fairly politically savvy couple" said Andromeda "and unless I'm completely blind, you enjoy one another's company."
"But… love and stuff?" asked Harry, confused.
"What is love?" asked Andromeda.
"Um... it's um… ," said Harry, wondering why he was put on the spot like this. He was just going to a bloody baby shower to upset Malfoy, after all.
"You've no idea" said Andromeda "Which, given your upbringing, is hardly surprising. Do you feel comfortable with Daphne Greengrass?"
"Well, yeah" said Harry, neglecting to mention the pants-tightening way she could whisper.
"She turned up at a charity auction in a wedding dress and outbid everyone for you" said Andromeda "I'll take that as intent on her part."
"Intent?" asked Harry in a squeak, not a manful question.
"The most important part of magic" said Andromeda "She intends for you to marry her, she's just waiting for you to get around to asking."
Harry felt a yawning chasm, full of awkwardness-lava had just opened in the conversation.
"About that" said Harry awkwardly.
"About hwat?" asked Andromeda, in the posh tone she sometimes used when talking about pureblood stuff. Harry winced. This was going to be hard.
Harry wondered what to do. Gryffindor's rush in, he supposed.
"It wasn't Daphne. It was a friend of hers using polyjuice." said Harry.
Andromeda shook her head "The old polyjuice defence."
"I checked" said Harry "She kisses differently to the girl in the wedding dress."
"Wedding dress?" asked Andromeda frostily.
"Her friend bound her, took a hair, swiped her wartime escape fund, and wore the wedding dress her mum bought – Daphne's mum – her when she turned seventeen." said Harry.
Andromeda blinked, and her face went expressionless and cold.
"So the girl is not angling to have you marry her?" asked Andromeda in a subdued tone that wasn't really a question.
"Not really" said Harry.
"And she didn't go public because?" asked Andromeda.
"Keeping her polyjuice claim in case there's something else she needs to deny later" said Harry, wryly.
Andromeda raised an eyebrow "And you went along with this course of action why?" she asked frostily.
"Everyone already thinks she's my girlfriend" said Harry, and he shrugged "We just go to cinema once a week, and I owe her some more vile events. After the… baby shower."
"Shame" said Andromeda. "A sensible girl like that would cope well with the complications of your life." Harry could hear two of them whooping and yelling outside.
Harry was reminded of the time he saw Greengrass holding Delphini at the door of Black Manor- and the funny, sort-of-deja-vu feeling it gave him. He settled for shaking his head and keeping his innermost odd thoughts – like, why does Salad Cream even exist, and that Daphne Greengrass, holding Delphini with one hand at the door of his house had looked… like the wife she definitely wasn't, and wasn't going to be – to himself.
"Well, attend the vile event and try to make life uncomfortable for the despicable blood purist and her vile little spawn" said Andromeda.
Harry nodded again, and started moving toward the floo.
"And wear a proper formal robe" said Andromeda.
Harry turned and frowned at Andromeda "Supporting the pureblood agenda?" he asked.
"The most formal Lord Slytherin robes you own, and those dreadful trainers you affect at home" said Andromeda.
"Go full lord Slytherin?" asked Harry "shame I haven't got basilisk hide boots yet." he added.
"Yet?" asked Andromeda.
"I um, should get the basilisk chopped up for skin and fangs and organs, I suppose" said Harry. "It's mine, anyway. I raised it as a possible fund-raiser at the Hogwarts board meeting,"
"Your finances are far too precarious to be very generous" said Andromeda. Harry sighed. She was right.
-==0==-
A quick trip to Hogwarts, meeting a rather humourless Headmistress McGonagall at the gates.
"And when, exactly, were you going to admit to being Evan Slytherin?" she asked, her Scottish burr like a chainsaw.
"I was hoping to avoid the negative expectations, and then avoid the political expectations" said Harry, who'd had half an hour to rehearse this conversation.
"And how long have you actually been seeing miss Greengrass?" asked Professor McGonagall, looking down her nose at Harry.
"Not at Hogwarts." said Harry – surely Professor McGonagall didn't read the Quibbler? "And we aren't… together."
"And your visit today?" asked Professor McGonagall.
"I need some basilisk skin" said Harry "I could leave the doors open, and you could get the basilisk out. I will need to take, um, – "
"A lions share of the spoils?" asked Professor McGonagall. Harry realised that was a joke. Or a pun, anyway.
-==0==-
Harry, dressed in basilisk hide trainers, and a dark green dress robe, and his snakeskin hat, and a basilisk hide belt with the HP buckle, and a ring on every finger, went by Floo to 'Greengrass Estate'. Sarah had tried not to giggle or smirk. Harry decided he was just going to go… full on Voldemort meets Gilderoy Lockheart.
Harry stepped out of the large fireplace into the hallway, and didn't fall over – because he bumped into Daphne's father instead.
"What!" said her tall, goatee wearing father – in dress robes, because he was the grandparent, of course he'd be going.
"Mister Potter" said Daphne's mother, in lilac.
"Sytherin" said Harry. "Or Black, or Potter-Black, or Slytherin-Black-Potter, whichever?"
Daphne's mother swept off to the staircase in her lilac dress robes, and called out "Daphne!" said her mother loudly "Your date has arrived."
Daphne's father glared at Harry. Harry smiled "I'm here largely as the head of the Black family" said Harry. "And Daphne needed a plus-one." Her father's eyes narrowed perceptibly.
Daphne Greengrass appeared, eventually, from the end of the staircase, in a green robe with little white flowers embroidered onto the edges – it looked markedly less formal than her parents robes.
She gave Harry a look he recognised from the gala dinner at Hogwarts. Though technically that had been Tracey. Same eyebrows, eyes.
"You decided to come as Slytherin then?" asked Daphne Greengrass.
"I'm here as the head of the Black family – that I'm also the head of the Slytherin family is just part of the wonderfulness of me" said Harry, aiming for Gilderoy Lockheart's effusive patter.
Daphne Greengrass's lips twitched and her eyes narrowed "And you're not calling yourself Evan Slytherin?"
"I think Mister Black should stick to Black" said her mother. Harry smiled at her, and lifted his hand, and looked at the creepy snake ring "$well, I could deny being a Slytherin, I suppose?$" he said, and by the way everyone winced, he assumed that had come out as a creepy magical hiss.
"Don't do that" said Daphne "It's revolting."
"Family magic, can't stop it" said Harry, with a cheeky smile. Daphne rolled her eyes. "I'm beginning to think this is a bad idea" she said.
"I'm going anyway" said Harry "I can come with, and we can torment the happy couple, or I can go home and come alone – leaving you to be sneered at by aunts."
Daphne looked quite annoyed by that. "Aunts?"
"Mine had things to say" said Harry blandly "Mostly to go and remind certain people that they breathe free air because I put in a good word for them."
"Mister… Slytherin" said her father "Can you not start a fracas at the event?"
"I won't" said Harry, "But I will end one if one starts."
"This is a bad idea" muttered Daphne.
Harry stuck his elbow out "Miss Greengrass?" he asked, sarcastically.
Harry flooed through to 'Malfoy Manor' with Daphne Greengrass on his arm, and the floo was weirdly stable- he didn't rotate on every axis, and stepped out upright, faltering slightly, but Greengrass was tall enough to keep him straight, with only a slight tug on his arm. She hissed at him "Don't make me lift you in heels, you jerk."
Harry kept moving, and looked right, and her head was level with his, if not a little higher. She looked down her nose at him, as he looked around the foyer of Malfoy Manor – there were less statues these days, less gold, but the general décor was still marble, paintings and a general feeling of 'rich arsehole.'
Harry felt the memories of his last visit coming back, but they were duller than he'd expected, and the feeling of panic was absent.
From an open archway, in strode Narcissa Malfoy, in a stiff white dress robe, with her hair all up on the back of her head.
"Daphne." she said, and then her face fell "And you."
"Mrs Malfoy" said Harry, smiling so fakely if felt like a grimace, "I'm here as the head of the Black family. And Daphne needed a plus-one."
"And she chose you." said Mrs Malfoy, who definitely looked like she could smell dogshit under her nose.
"Well, three titles, a castle or two" said Harry "I'm quite a catch." Daphne Greengrass elbowed him viciously, and discreetly.
Mrs Malfoy smiled even more horribly and strainedly than Harry and waved in the direction she'd come. Behind Harry, the fireplace roared with floo powder, and someone stepped out.
"Cyrus, Erzabet" said Mrs Malfoy, sounding more genuine, "so good to see you again."
Harry kept walking with Daphne into the room through the arch. Which was a large parlour or something, with sideboards loaded with snacks, dozens of comfortable chairs, and two revoltingly happy looking younger Malfoys on a love-seat, and some old witches and wizards Harry didn't recognise.
Draco and Astoria looked over, and the way their smiles went from genuine to pained almost had Harry laughing out loud. He smiled instead.
"Astoria, Darling!" said Daphne, in a saccharine sweet tone. "And the sperm donor."
Harry snorted. He had no idea Greengrass was going to take this hard a line on Malfoy.
"Mrs Malfoy, Mister Malfoy" said Harry, thinking 'Harry Slytherin-Black-Potter. As head of the house of Black, I'm disappointed he bred, but I suppose Astoria wanted a child.'
"Harry's here as the head of the Black family" said Daphne, in a more gushy tone than she usually used.
"Mister… Black" said Malfoy.
"Slytherin-Black-Potter" corrected Harry. "From my mother's side of the family, of course."
"I say!" said some old wizard "He can't just claim to be a Slytherin!"
Harry looked down at his creepy snake ring "$Yes, I can actually$" he hissed. He was pretty sure by the way everyone in the room froze and stared at him like he was about to eat them, that that had been a hiss. Harry smiled toothlessly in the general direction of the crowd.
Harry was towed by Daphne closer to the – formerly happy couple. Astoria looked like she wanted to run, and Draco had a twitch on his neck.
"Don't get up" said Harry drily. Draco's nostrils flared with suppressed rage.
Daphne elbowed him quite gently and asked "And how is your health?" to her sister, presumably.
"I've had a little morning sickness, but nothing that a later breakfast and a potion won't control" she said, her eyes fixed on Harry. Harry smiled, mostly genuinely.
"It's good to hear" said Harry "it was so delicate before."
Draco's eyes darted to his wife's face, she smiled jerkily. "Thank you for that." she said.
"Well, once I read the letters Daphne wrote a younger me, begging for help, I had to return the payment" said Harry. "I could hardly keep it."
Draco Malfoy's face was a picture of confusion, and dawning horror. Harry nodded, and smiled.
'Yes, you bastard, her family owe me her life.' thought Harry. 'And the only reason you're not in Azkaban is because I said so.'
"It was so generous of Harry. But he is so… big" said Daphne Greengrass, slightly huskily – and she had no bloody right to make that sort of statement, thought Harry indignantly, his pants shrinking.
"You and… him" said Astoria, her eyes getting bigger, and her mouth – pink like her sister's opening into a little 'o' of surprise, a gasp, and then she schooled her features. "Are you getting engaged?" asked Astoria.
"I couldn't possibly announce that at your baby shower, dear little sister" said Daphne, surreptitiously elbowing Harry.
Harry had no idea that her idea for torturing the Malfoys was so damn cruel. He'd thought it would be just scaring them, but threatening to be family, that was by the glassy look on Malfoy's face, freaking the ferret-faced prick out completely. Malfoy's neck really was twitching. Harry hoped he'd have one of those convulsion attacks.
"Well, we must go see the rest of the family" said Daphne, leading Harry off and quickly whispering "for everyone else, we're friends."
"We'll go see Mrs Yaxley" said Daphne "After all, she's family."
Mrs Yaxley – an octogenarian with glasses, was clearly worried Harry was about to hex her.
"She's my great-aunt, Daddy's cousins' mother, so don't kill her," whispered Daphne
"We're friends, and Daphne needed a plus one, and I had to come, as the head of the Black family" explained Harry casually.
"And we're united in a shared dislike for my sister's husband" said Daphne, so very casually.
Mrs Yaxely looked at Harry and asked, "so you're going to be an Auror again?"
It must have been playing on her mind.
"Well, I've got children to look after, and people didn't like the way I worked as an Auror" said Harry. Apart from meeting Yaxley in the Ministry during the war, Harry vaguely remembered fighting one after the war. The usual, trying to make a statement by wrecking something to do with not-espousing pureblood supremacy, getting hexed, breaking out dangerous curses, and then the Aurors – Harry in that case, arriving. That Yaxley had liked bone-breakers, Harry remembered. That might have been the day he had to walk on two spelled up broken legs.
"And are you going to get engaged to little Daphne?" asked Mrs Yaxely.
"We're just friends" said Harry.
"He's actually too annoying to marry" said Daphne drolly.
"Well, you're paying for the popcorn next trip" muttered Harry. Her nose went up.
The rest of the guests were politely inquisitive, with a soupçon of scared. Harry tried to stick to friendly, and casual.
Mrs Malfoy eventually stopped the conversations by tapping on a wineglass.
Draco stood up, using a cane, and to Harry's eye really leaning on it.
"My wife and I" said Draco Malfoy "Would like to announce that we are expecting a child. A son to carry on the Malfoy name. Astoria blushed. Malfoy looked… like he was proud of his efforts.
The gathered family applauded politely.
"Have you chosen a name?" asked one of the older grey witches – Harry was pretty sure it was Daphne's Great-grandmother.
Malfoy looked like he'd been caught wrong-footed. "I…" he choked up.
Astoria stood up, nearly as tall as Malfoy and smiled, stroking Malfoy's back in an encouraging way.
Malfoy, for some reason was staring at Harry and trembling. Oh goody, thought Harry, he's going to have another fit.
"I…" started Malfoy "Would like to name our son to honour my mother's family, the Blacks."
Applause from the group. Harry narrowed his eyes and Mafloy's eyes looked desperate. He had look on his face like he was pleading. Harry nodded minutely.
"Scorpius" said Draco.
"The poor boy will get bullied for that" said Daphne Greengrass softly, near Harry's ear.
One of the old great-uncles, who sounded a bit pissed asked loudly "And a middle name?"
"I was going to name him after my grandfather" said Malfoy, and he met Harry's eyes. Harry shook his head slightly, and feeling strangely merciful, jerked his head in the direction of a puffed-up looking Cyrus Greengrass.
Malfoy choked out "But I'd like to ask my father-in-law, if he'd like our son to have Cyrus as a middle name?"
Cyrus's smiled got bigger. Harry could see teeth – and they weren't fangs. Who'd have thought. "Oh, that would be delightful" said Cyrus.
"Daddy's going to be insufferable" said Daphne quietly, and the second whisper in Harry's ear had him shivering.
"Oh, have I got your attention" said Daphne in a soft whisper – calculated to cause maximum discomfort to Harry. Harry couldn't bolt, so he reached behind her and put his hand on her far shoulder, holding her shoulder harder than was kind, and whispering without moving his mouth "Can you stop that!"
"Well I could" said Daphne "But watching you twitch like a fish on the riverbank is so amusing."
"Harridan" whispered Harry.
"Berk" was her reply.
Because they were the closest family, the Greengrasses, and by extension Harry, stayed till the party was over and elderly relations had all left.
Mrs Malfoy senior called out "Dippy?" and a house-elf appeared with a pop. And just the sight of teacups and plates scattered about was enough to have the elf tidying up.
Harry cast a few spells to get stains off the tablecloth – he was an old-hand at those, given his child-children.
"That went quite well" said Cyrus Greengrass, glossing over a lot in one sentence.
Harry was elbowed rather gently by Daphne to get his attention "You've paid for your mistreatment" she said. "We're on an even balance for the next event."
"I have no idea what that will be" said Harry, eyeing the 'happy couple' from a safe distance.
Malfoy, though couch-bound was fawning over Astoria.
"I see what you mean" said Harry, trying not to move his mouth.
"She's happy, and that's what matters" said Daphne Greengrass philosophically.
"At this rate the next event will be Astoria popping a sprog out" said Harry.
"Ugh" said Daphne Greengrass.
Mrs Malfoy senior slowly approached the sarcastic pair. She looked pleased, but had a frown.
"Are you two really putting off announcing something to spare Draco and Astoria today?" she asked.
Harry moved just his eyes to the side to catch sight of Daphne's face- schooled into expressionlessness.
"That'd be no" said Harry "Unless Daphne's got something to say?"
Daphne turned her head slowly and glared at Harry. Harry smiled politely, hoping to forestall being hexed later.
"No" said Daphne "Potter came as my Plus one, and that's all. Isn't it?"
"Yup" said Harry intentionally casually. "I'd stay for supper, but I have a daughter and godson to get home to."
"My niece –" started Mrs Malfoy.
"My daughter" interrupted Harry. "Lets not fight. Putting you two in Azkaban would ruin the mood."
"I do not know what you see in him" snapped Mrs Malfoy.
"Oh, the actual head of Slytherin and heir to all the wealth of the Blacks? Who lives in a castle?" asked Daphne Greengrass "Not short or ugly, and a reasonable dancer who won't get grabby."
Harry shrugged.
"His hair is dreadful," added Greengrass. "But he was a pretty good quidditch player too. How many times did Draco beat him on the pitch?"
Mrs Malfoy's lips thinned. "Quite" she said.
"Well we must be off" said Daphne, elbowing Harry less gently "Good afternoon Narcissa, Draco, and please be careful dear sister." She headed out towards where they'd flooed in and Harry followed.
As they got to the fireplace Harry had to say "Pretty good quidditch player?"
"You'd get a swelled head" said Greengrass, and she threw floo-powder in the fire and called out 'Greengrass easting' and left.
Harry waited till the fire died back to orange-red before throwing in a pinch and calling out 'Slytherins Nest Seven' and stepping into the flames. As usual, the floo was a disorienting ghastly mess, and he stumbled out into his hall, tripping over. He got up, and looked for any sign of imminent disaster, saw none and lay on the couch behind the table, hoping to have a quick catnap before dinner.
Harry had wiggled his back into a comfy spot, when the fireplace went green and Daphne Greengrass stepped out, and cleaned off the floo-soot with a wave of her wand.
She stared over at Harry "Potter" she said "Mother's convinced we're about to announce our engagement"
"What?" asked Harry.
"She talked to the twits" said Daphne.
"Uh" said Harry.
"I think the prospect of a grandchild has rotted her brain" said Greengrass.
"Scorpius Malfoy, seriously?" said Harry.
Greengrass looked around Harry's dining-room-cum-kitchen.
"Is there anything to drink?" she asked.
Harry grunted, jackknifed off the couch, and climbed the spiral staircase to his front room. Greengrass followed him, and snaffled the couch. "I need a drink" she said.
"There were drinks" said Harry.
"I was on best behaviour" said Daphne.
Harry opened the largely ornamental unopened and very dusty spiced wine bottle, and poured her a goblet of it.
"Spiced wine" he said, and Greengrass drank deeply, then coughed "Bit strong" she sputtered.
"It's for looks" said Harry, having a goblet, and sitting in the only other seating- the chair facing. He sipped, and grimaced at the taste.
"This was a birthday present" said Harry, trying to remember who it was from.
"What will I tell mother?" asked Daphne.
"That I haven't proposed yet" said Harry drily.
"Arse."
Harry closed his eyes for a moment.
Harry woke up lying in what felt like a bed. Like a bed only warmer, and smelling of something that made Harry's bits make urgent enquiries about finding the source and kissing it.
Harry opened one eye. He squinted and saw the blurry pattern of his bed canopy. He was in bed.
"Daddy Daddy, is Daffy mummy now?" asked Delphini loudly near Harry's ear.
Harry opened both eyes and turned to the source of the noise, who was smiling at Harry , her dark eyes open and innocent looking. Behind Harry, something – someone groaned softly, and Harry recognised the general tone as belonging to… Daphne Greengrass. Harry rolled over in the bed to check behind him, and ended up face-to face and lying partly on a warm, confused looking Daphne Greengrass, and the smell of her in the same bed had his bit's protesting most strongly.
"Uh hi?" said Harry. Greengrass was apparently speechless. Or half asleep. She did smell … like Greengrass only a bit more pungent.
"Fiona said you'd have to sleep with Daffy for her to be mummy, and you did" said Delphini behind him.
"Why am I in bed?" asked Harry, nearly nose-to nose with Greengrass.
"You were sleeping in the chair" said Delphini helpfully "I used both my brooms and the dressing gown cords to put you both in bed!"
Daphne Greengrass blinked at Harry from inches away. Clearly no longer asleep-ish.
"Potter, you're lying on me" she said quietly but accusingly.
"Not like that" said Harry quickly – though his bits would have said he should do otherwise.
"Shame" said Greengrass quietly.
Harry leaned forward slightly, and kissed Daphne on the lips very softly.
Daphne Greengrass sighed, and her firm hand pushed Harry gently back the other way off Daphne's side. "We" she said "are never living this one down."
Harry stared at the bed canopy "We fell asleep and my ever-so helpful daughter dragged us to bed using two kiddy brooms and dressing gown cords."
"Why did we fall asleep?" asked Daphne Greengrass, and the bed hadn't moved. Having her in the same bed, suggested Harry's imagination, just for the conversation was worth it. Harry's bits made extremely urgent suggestions that Harry tried to ignore; that there were other reasons for having her in his bed.
Harry got out of bed, and was pleased to see he was still dressed. Well, bootless, hat-less and glasses and wand-less. He found his glasses on the bedside table, put them on. Greengrass was lying in his bed, looking slept-in. She was holding the bed-cover to her neck. Harry's eyes slid left, and on the end of the bed, sort-of-folded was the dress she'd been wearing. Harry cursed his idiocy for getting out of bed. And/or not realising that was not a fully dressed woman he'd been almost lying on. It had been a long time.
He staggered into the front room, stepping over discarded kiddy brooms and pyjama cords, and finding the bottle of spiced wine. He rubbed the bottle label, getting the dust off. The bottom of the label read 'a pleasant tasting alternative to sleeping draught' Harry groaned, and went back to bed, holding the bottle. Daphne Greengrass glared quietly at him, "No, I don't want another drink"
Harry walked around the bed, and held it where she could read the label. She sat up, and Harry was treated to the sight of both her shoulders, and bra-straps. Multiple straps, and that was a bit confusing.
"Sleeping draught?" she said. "Oh merlin. Mother will be insufferable."
Harry was distracted by the amount of… gorgeous woman in her underwear in his bed. He put the bottle down on the other bedside table, and leaned over.
"Um, Daphne?" asked Harry.
"What?" she asked, sounding annoyed.
"Fancy a sleepover?" said Harry, as innocently as he could, consistent with ogling what he could of her bra. The base of her neck, the… clavicles they looked… well it reminded Harry of Ginny with her shirt off. With obvious differences; no visible freckles, and not so white, and wider shoulders.
Daphne Greengrass's neck was slowly going pink, Harry realised. He looked at her face. She seemed a bit put out.
"My parents are going to assume things" she said very quietly.
Harry leaned forward slowly, turned his head a little, and kissed her slowly on the lips. "It could be worse" said Harry.
"How" asked Daphne Greengrass, not avoiding the kiss at all.
"Well, you smell nice, and are a great kisser" said Harry.
"Delphini, please go to your room" said Daphne.
"Yes mummy" said Delphini, and she skipped off, even shutting the door behind her.
Harry waggled his eyebrows, and Daphne seemed to smile, in spite of the situation.
Daphne's hands left the bed-cover, and lifted to his head. She kissed him back firmly, and Harry wanted to fall onto the bed, but resisted.
"What's the time?" asked Daphne. Harry checked his watch. "Just past eight"
Daphne started talking, but Harry's attention was grabbed by the silk-clad chest he could now see. Some sort of skimpy silk thing over her bra.
"We had a conversation, talked to Delphini lost track of time" said Daphne.
Harry turned to the shuttered window, and walked over and opened it. An early morning light suffused a cloudy day.
"Sorry, eight am" said Harry.
"Oh god" groaned Daphne, and Harry turned, to see her collapsed on the pillow, her hair fanned out like a blonde halo. She's beautiful, and a great kisser and smells nice and makes me laugh, suggested Harry's brain.
"Um, no biggie. We talked all night, fell asleep" said Harry, admiring all the witch he could see. Some sort of strappy under-shirt thing made of silk that covered a fancy lacy bra that covered breasts. Her dress yesterday definitely hid the size of them. That wedding dress came to mind, and his pants got more uncomfortable.
"No" said Daphne in that husky tone that should be illegal. "We slept the night. You're nice and warm in bed, by the way."
"But, your parents?" asked Harry.
"Aren't the ones here. Frankly I had a lovely sleep and thought I was daydreaming earlier." said
Daphne Greengrass.
Harry felt that an aspersion was required at this point.
"Well, how about another sleepover?" asked Harry "with more… " he waggled his eyebrows.
"No" said Greengrass, in that husky tone.
"You can't say no like that!" exclaimed Harry, his bits making urgent enquiries.
"I assure you, any witch can say no when in bed, Potter" said Daphne Greengrass, rather coldly.
Harry's brain caught up with what she meant, and he wanted to vanish.
"Oh god, I didn't mean that!" Harry blurted "I mean, the way you say that, that tone of voice. You shouldn't use it. It's torture!"
"Like a slow-motion train wreck of a dating fiasco?" asked Daphne, one eyebrow raised.
"I apologised, and was cursed with asses ears" said Harry defensively.
"Because you are frequently an ass" said Daphne.
"Um," and Harry eyed the witch looking at him in a fond, yet slightly irritated way. The beautiful witch. That smelt – Harry blinked, and then did something incredibly reckless. "Daphne" he asked.
"What" said Greengrass.
"We should do this again, seriously." said Harry, convinced that… well he liked sleeping with Daphne Greengrass, even without snogging and stuff.
"Well, maybe" said Daphne, and she got out of the bed, and Harry's pants got too tight. She was wearing some sort of strappy-silky under-shirt and a silky under-skirt, and the lines of both showed that the wedding dress he'd seen had been… not doing false advertising with padding or tight bits. Greengrass walked past him, in long socks, and went to the bathroom. The only tight bits were in Harry's pants. Her usual clothes hid the… bloody sexy figure she had.
"Where's the hot water?" she asked in a tone eerily like the times Mrs Weasley called out Mr Weasley.
"Um, warming charms?" said Harry, wishing he could loosen his pants.
"Where's my wand?" asked the voice, in a rising, bell-like tone that … suggested Harry jolly well sort out right now.
Harry rummaged in her dress, and found a stick, and went to the bathroom, where Daphne Greengrass was sitting on the loo, lap covered by her rucked-up under-skirt. She took the wand with lips pressed together. "Hot water, more towels."
"Er" temporised Harry.
"Before I would come here again" she said, and got off the loo, and washed her hands in the cold water basin.
"Bath only, no shower?" she asked.
"Yeah" said Harry.
Daphne turned the tap-like thing and the bath filled – quite quickly, but Salazar Slytherin hadn't been a patient man, Harry supposed. A few stabs with a wand, and she dipped her finger in.
"Piss off, I'm not stripping for you" said Greengrass.
"We slept together." said Harry.
"And I slept in my bra and knickers, you're not seeing the red lines that leaves." she said.
"Well, "I'll just have to teach Delphini to put you in pyjamas then" said Harry.
Daphne Greengrass stripped off the under-shirt, revealing her back, which was at least as interesting as her clavicles – she had dimples on her lower back for merlins' sake, and reached behind herself to undo her bra, but held it shut "I wear a nightgown. I don't wear pyjamas."
Harry left to find more towels and adjust his pants. She had … nice shoulders. That was all. The urge to lick all the way down her spine was perfectly resistible. There'd been the sides of her bra, and those boobs… and dimples on her lower back just above the underskirt. His pants needed adjusted again. Urgently. He fled to the old wardrobe in done one floor that had the spare towels.
He came back to his room bearing towels, to hear splashing sounds and soft singing from the bathroom.
"….full of hot strong love…." which was , Harry recalled part of a Celestina Warbeck song, only Daphne Greengrass sung it higher, and he thought, partisan-ally, better.
Harry deposited the towels just inside the bathroom, and blinked, there were bubbles in his bath.
He looked over and a wet blonde was modestly covered by bubbles to the neck. Her hair was wet.
"I didn't have bubblebath" he said, feeling confused.
"I summoned it." said Daphne casually "Leave the towels where I can reach them."
A wet foot lifted out of the bath, then a wet calf, then a wet knee. Harry was hard-pressed to hold onto the towels.
Daphne started washing her leg with a flannel and soap. Harry hoped the soap make the bubbles dissolve.
"Stop trying to perve me" said Daphne Greengrass "I'm dirty and covered in red lines from sleeping in my under clothes. Go on… get out."
Harry left his own en-suite, and stood, listening to splashy sounds.
"Go take care of your daughter. Try to dissuade her from coming to see me" said Daphne from Harry's en-suite.
Harry went to see Delphini, who, he mused had dressed herself. And technically helped him and Daphne to bed. Not that that was something they wanted- who was he kidding , he'd wanted to go to bed with Greengrass, and his lips twitched as he thought that he technically had done so; and it had been great really. Well, obviously not that. But given how she kissed, and that she smelt amazing the next day, that would be …. Harry tried not to think about that in too much detail while dealing with Delphini.
With a bit of luck, her parents wouldn't come looking for his head.
Delphini was skipping and hard to get to breakfast, but endlessly cheery. Less food ended up everywhere today. Harry wondered if she was on 'better behaviour' because she thought she had a mother now. Daphne's parents had sent a letter.
'Dear Mr Potter,
Have you seen our eldest daughter? She left before dinner yesterday to see you and has not returned. We trust she is unhurt.
Cyrus and Roxanne Greengrass.'
Well, thought Harry, that could have been worse. Daphne Greengrass didn't appear over breakfast.
Delphini, however announced proudly "Daddy and Daffy slept together. She's going to be mummy now."
Sarah raised her eyebrows "Are congratulations in order boss?" she asked.
"Erm" said Harry. "Not… exactly. We fell asleep due to a mix-up with a bottle of medicated spiced wine, and Delphini very enterprisingly moved us from my sitting room to my bed."
"So… not getting married?" asked Sarah, blandly.
"Not as such no" said Harry.
"But Daddy!" said Delphini loudly "You and Daffy slept together, that makes her mummy!"
Harry wondered what to say – and noticed Septimus was watching intently. At least Fiona was at Hogwarts now.
Harry went up to his room after cleaning up – Delphini was getting fractious, and Daphne was gone, a depression in his bed, and three wet towels all that was left.
Oh, and a short blunt note, on his pillow.
'Hot water, more towels'
Harry asked Sarah for the name of a plumber. "We're going to get hot water taps." he added.
"Complained did she?" asked Sarah casually. Harry kept his dignity by pretending to ignore that.
Harry sent a letter detailing what he wanted vis-a-vis taps to the most likely plumber advertising in the Daily Prophet, and wondered about sending the Greengrasses a letter. No need, Daphne would tell them something. And this way, he wouldn't be undermining whatever story she told them.
Three days later the Prophet ran a page three article about 'Harry Potter's shameful love-trysts' which alleged that Harry was using Daphne Greengrass carnally at his home – and possibly exposing his underage daughter to scenes of obscenity. Harry felt angry that anyone would imply, even for a second that he'd be a bad parent. Delphini was more than capable of being troublemaker without Harry's help – and the statement that Harry was shagging Greengrass, well, that rankled too. He hadn't, mores the pity, and he hadn't seen her since the overnight fiasco, and doubted her parents would take this lying down.
"How do you think?" asked Harry over the breakfast table. "The Daily Prophet has an article about what happened in my sitting room and bedroom?"
Sarah shook her head "Not me. I know you and her have had your moments, but that was clearly mostly a little blonde angel." Harry looked over at the angel in question, who was murdering bacon. He really should have used Hedwig as her middle name, he thought.
"Are you getting married soon Daddy?" asked Delphini, with a handful of half-gnawed bacon. "Will there be pretty dresses?" she added.
Harry wondered what to say, and noticed Septimus was looking at his plate rather fixedly.
"Septimus?" asked Harry "Did you tell anyone?"
"Just Fiona!" said Septimus "She's my sister and we live here. You're like our… weird uncle."
Harry took a moment to think about that. Septimus wrote to Fiona, at Hogwarts. A twelve-year-old girl. Well, that was clearly the leak. Sarah caught his eye, looking … big-eyed
"Sorry boss" said Sarah. "Septimus, Harry's disastrous love-life is private business. Fiona must have mentioned it, and it got all round Hogwarts, and then into the Daily Prophet."
"If Harry was just a bit better at girls, this wouldn't be a problem" said Septimus, with the sureness of a nine-year-old.
Sarah made an apologetic grimace at Harry.
"Well, I suppose it was going to come out eventually" said Harry.
"What?" asked Septimus.
"My debauched liaison with Daphne Greengrass" said Harry. Septimus frowned "Is that a dance?" he asked.
"Ask your mother when you're older" said Harry, with a toothless smile to Sarah.
"Am I fired?" asked Sarah calmly.
"It's not your fault" said Harry "We all live in one small tower, I can't expect Septimus to give me every letter he sends to Hogwarts to check before he sends it."
Septimus's brows creased "But I can send what mail I want!" he said. "You're not the boss of me!"
"No" said Harry "But I have a large vote in the Hogwarts board of governors. Who will all think I'm a … " Harry wanted to say sleazy pillock, but thought that was a bit… mature for the nine and six year old. "Bad person" he finished. "And my ability to raise money for Hogwarts may be reduced. So we'll have less new library books, less events, thought hopefully we will get the school brooms replaced before they actually kill anyone."
Septimus looked puzzled and finally said "So you're the boss of Hogwarts, but you have to raise money for it? Shouldn't Hogwarts pay you?"
"No" said Harry "and as you can probably work out from the way we live, I'm not rolling in galleons, since the war ended."
"But… they said you were the head of the Black family, and they're famous" said Septimus.
"And the in the war, I had to rob Gringotts to retrieve an artefact, so they confiscated all my money from the Potter and Black vaults" said Harry "Slytherin's keep was lost till Bole Smith, the head of the Smith family – they're the descendants of Helga Hufflepuff, gave me a map in exchange for going to Hogwarts board of governors meetings. And that meant being able to let out Black Manor, and next year, we'll have the money to re-wallpaper parts of it, and pay my taxes, and buy food, and all those things."
"Sounds difficult" said Septimus. Harry nodded.
"Daddy, story?" asked Delphini – and breakfast was officially over.
At Dinner, Septimus apologised quietly for telling his sister.
"I'm sorry that I told Fiona about your sleepover" said Septimus "I didn't know it was a big deal."
Harry sighed.
"It's just… it was so interesting, and Delphini did it, and Fiona says you're going to marry her anyway." said Septimus.
