He knew he'd have to do this yet he was hesitating himself. This was why he never wanted to come back to Berk, he knew seeing Astrid again would make him want to stay and getting that one day of her crying in his arms and falling asleep there was all it took. It had been 6 hours at least she fell asleep on him, he couldn't very well just leave her to cry on the cove floor by herself. There were still wild dragons that roamed on the island and in her state, she couldn't defend herself. Hiccup had to leave, he had to get away before temptation exceeded any farther. Toothless crooned at him with his head up now.
"We never should of stayed here, Hiccup." Toothless said to him now.
"What choice did I have bud, they were physically beating her..." Hiccup replied sighing.
"You're getting attached." Toothless snorted, "She's safe now, they won't hurt her again since they know you planned your own escape. We need to leave." Toothless added calmly to his rider and best friend.
"I know Toothless...As soon as she wakes up, we'll go..." Hiccup sighed. It was their bond, one between himself and Toothless that they could speak telepathically to one another. It happened shortly after he became the dragon master, Toothless initiated it by making the bond with Hiccup. And then the wave of questions began as to how this was possible, Toothless explained that it was because of a Night Furies magic and could establish a bond with humans that allowed them to talk to one another in their minds. No one could hear them talk and that was a secret the two kept close to them, people knowing could be bad for them.
Hiccup had been laying awake for close to 3 hours staring at the blue sky when Astrid began to stir in his arms, he looked down at her slowly. Her forehead was covered in sweat, her facial expressions changing from calm to upset and she was moving around a lot. Hiccup knew these signs, Astrid was having a nightmare. He sighed under his mask which he'd never taken off, though he'd changed over the course of 5 years. He knew he'd be recognized right away if anyone saw his face.
"N–no...please stop...I–it wasn't...my fa–fault." Astrid whimpered out flinching more as if to cover her face, as if she was blocking herself from being hit. Ryder sat up and began to shake her a bit.
"Astrid. Wake up." Ryder said in a dull voice. She snapped awake quickly looking at him now, she backed up seeing she had been laying on him. Ryder now stood up with Toothless stretching.
"W–what happened?...Why...were you holding me?" Astrid asked him now.
"You were crying after I told you what Hiccup said, then you fell asleep in my arms. I didn't want to bother you so I let you sleep on me." Ryder stated to her, she lowered her head understanding.
"O–oh...I'm...sorry for falling asleep on you..." Astrid replied bashfully.
"It's fine, Astrid. Are you prepared to leave?" Ryder asked. She looked over at him now, he was leaving already? "Don't act so surprised. I stated I'd be leaving after resting." Ryder added seeing her face now as he gathered his things and put them back in Toothless's saddle bag, then getting on the dragon's back.
"Y–yes, I am..." Astrid said as she climbed on Toothless's back and held on to Ryder's waist like the first time.
"Let's go bud." Ryder told Toothless as he spread his wings and launched out of the cove, once high enough Toothless glided on the breeze, only flapping his wings a few times to stay elevated. Ryder noticed how quiet Astrid was, and knew what she was thinking about. "Living in the past will keep you from having a future. Keeping him alive in your memories won't bring him back to life." Ryder said to her.
"My past is the place I was happy...And I know that..." Astrid remarked.
"Because Hiccup was alive?" Ryder asked keeping his eyes forward. Not hearing a response, he assumed he was correct. "Happy you weren't his friend? Or because of something else?" Ryder said calmly.
"Because he was my friend and I abandoned him when he needed me most..." Astrid's voice began to crack meaning she was trying not to cry.
"It happened. There is nothing you can do to change the past. Better to move on with life." Ryder said as he saw the village coming closer, he patted Toothless's head as the dragon landed gently on the ground and Astrid climbed off and took a few steps back. "Time for us to take our leave." Ryder stated firmly.
"W–wait...you're leaving so soon...?" Astrid asked quickly, maybe more than she'd anticipated to. It was now that Stoick approached with Gobber.
"Things to do." He simply replied.
"Will you be continuing the raids on this village?" Stoick asked now.
"You're safe for a while. I've traveling farther out to handle some business." Ryder informed them.
"That makes no sense! Why would you stop them for a while, and not all together!" Tuffnut retorted angrily.
"Yeah, we've never done anything to you..." Ruffnut mumbled.
"If only you knew what you've done..." Ryder grumbled to himself but not loud enough for them to hear.
"Can we provide you with anything for your trip?" Gobber stepped forward now.
"No. I have all I need at my base, thank you for the offer." Ryder said firmly.
"You haven't eaten since you arrived here last night...Ca–can't you stay for lunch at least? Yo–you had said you'd tell me what Hiccup told you about me..." Astrid's voice came in now, smaller and full of fear this time.
"Idiot..." Toothless mumbled to him.
"Toothless...don't be that way. I did tell her I would..." Hiccup replied now.
"You shouldn't of told them anything. To them you were the last person to see Hiccup alive and that is bound to open up old wounds about what they did to you." Toothless remarked with a scoff.
"I know I shouldn't have but I did...and I'll deal with the repercussions...It won't kill them to understand how much they put me through...To live with that pain knowing it was their fault." Hiccup stated to him.
"All because you love this girl...Fine. Make it fast and bring me some fish, I'm starving." Toothless grinned.
"Thanks bud...I will." Hiccup said with a smile in his voice. "I will stay for lunch to tell you. Possible for me to get some fish for my dragon?" Ryder asked now. Astrid looked at Stoick now, he sighed and nodded.
"Anything in particular he likes more than others?" Astrid asked.
"Icelandic cod, trouts, tuna...Anything but eels." Ryder told her. Astrid nodded to him as a small smile came to her lips.
"Gobber, have the Jorgenson boy bring the fish for the de...dragon." Stoick said stopping himself before saying devil, he didn't wish to bring forth Ryder's anger or larger dragons to attack the village.
"Aye chief..." Gobber said walking off to find Snotlout.
"Astrid...take our...guest to the Great Hall for lunch." Stoick ordered.
"Yes sir. If you'll come with me, Ryder..." Astrid said gently to him.
"Toothless, if there is a problem..." Ryder said as Toothless only gave a nod, Ryder then nodded back and followed Astrid towards the hall. The walk was short, he didn't need much guiding. How do you miss the giant building built in to the rock, that and Ryder knew his way around Berk seeing he once lived there. When they arrived at the hall, it seemed to go silent as all eyes were on them. People were whispering in hushed tones, curious about him. Astrid and him got some food and sat down at one of the tables.
"So..." Astrid began as Ryder faced her.
"Astrid. I didn't come here to make casual conversation with you. I only came because I said I'd do something and I'm a man of my word." Ryder stopped her quickly, Astrid flinched a bit hearing his tone and looked down at her plate nodding slowly to him.
"I–I'm sorry Ryder sir...I didn't...mean to upset you..." Astrid said quickly. Ryder sighed, he wasn't doing any good if he was upsetting her with his harshness. Ryder put his hand on her shoulder as she looked over to him with sad eyes, that was all he needed was for her to cry again.
"You didn't upset me. I told you, I am a very busy man and have other matters to attend to. I never stay in villages longer than the night for a raid. I only stayed here because I was asked personally by a young man as a last wish to make sure you were safe and you all knew the truth of his untimely death..." Ryder stated.
"I–I understand...I–I won't hold you up longer...I just want to know...what Hiccup said about me." Astrid replied lightly.
"And I will tell you. As soon as people stop eavesdropping." Ryder remarked as his eyes fell to the villagers and other teens trying to hide behind some posts.
"What? For the love of Thor...Get lost, all of you!" Astrid yelled, they quickly scrambled away leaving the two of them alone now. "Sorry..." Astrid said lowly.
"Don't worry about it." Ryder said calmly now. "So you wanted to know what Hiccup said about you to me eh?" Ryder asked as Astrid nodded her head. "Whenever he talked about you, I never saw the smile leave his face. He always referred to you as the Shield Maiden of Berk who stole his heart." Ryder chuckled a bit from under the mask. Astrid found herself blushing now.
"He...really said that?" Astrid asked.
"Oh yeah. He was with me for two weeks Astrid, and there wasn't a day that passed he didn't mention you in some way or another. Your pretty blonde hair, the beautiful blue eyes, your go-getter attitude. Told me the times you helped him after he was hurt by the village, tending his wounds." Ryder said watching her reactions. "He told me he wanted to tell you so many times about Toothless after he shot him down, to show you what he learned about dragons, that he knew how to stop the war between Vikings and Dragons." Ryder added now.
"H–he did?" Astrid asked. Ryder nodded again.
"Yes. He wanted to show everyone that dragons weren't what they though they were, and didn't have to kill them. He told me he was going to do it the day he was supposed to kill the nightmare but then got taken by Toothless and knew he'd be marked a traitor. Which is why he made the choice to die, because he figured he would either way." Ryder informed her. He watched as Astrid looked down again, he could see guilt on her face.
"Its still my fault...I should of...been there for him in training instead of trying to beat him. I could of...pushed him down and Toothless would of missed him..." Astrid closed her eyes tightly.
"Please don't cry, Astrid. It's not your fault...It was planned. He said even if someone had stopped Toothless from grabbing him...He would of signaled Toothless to come back, showing everyone what he learned and flew off on him. Nothing was stopping Hiccup from leaving Berk. I remember he told me he wanted to see you one last time before he died but it'd be to hard for him to bare." Ryder said as he took a bite of the chicken leg.
"I wish he had...Maybe...I could of convinced him to stay or...live..." Astrid sighed looking in to her drink, seeing her reflection and let a tear fall down her cheek closing her eyes now. "I was such a horrible person to him in training, I–I abandoned him when he needed a friend most and..." Astrid slammed her cup down lowering her head now. Ryder wasn't expecting this from her.
"Astrid..." Ryder said to her but she wasn't listening.
"And then after he left...and Stoick found his clothes...when we found out he was dead...the whole village turned on me, blaming me...I wished the Night Fury had taken me, I wish it had killed me. I didn't mean anything...to anyone! I wanted to just die so many times because of all the abuse I endured. I wished the villagers just finished me off instead of leaving me bleeding and wounded on the ground...but no...Hiccup's father promised my dad he'd make sure I stayed alive...So after every beating...he came to check on me. The night you showed up...I asked him to kill me. I gave him me axe and asked him to just end it because I'd rather be dead that keep living like Hiccup had too!" Astrid yelled out.
Ryder couldn't believe what he was hearing from her. "And after I heard Hiccup wanted to die because of everything he suffered, like I was...I–I wanted to die earlier. Just wanted be done with it...You have no idea how much guilt I feel for what I did to him!" Astrid added panting heavily. Ryder only stared at her through the mask with wide eyes, she wanted to die. "Its...all my fault and I can't even...apologize to him...because he's dead...all because I wasn't there for him!" Astrid cried running out of the hall now.
"Astrid!" Ryder yelled as he swung his legs over the bench and rushed out after her. "ASTRID!" Ryder called for her again, but she was gone. Where the hell had she gone? She ran so fast. This wasn't good at all, her wishing for death, being very upset and running off was very bad. Ryder cupped his hands over his mouth and let out a call that sounded like a Night Fury's. The teens had come out of the hall wondering what was going on, Toothless flew over and landed beside him crooning.
"What's wrong Hiccup!?" Toothless asked quickly.
"Astrid ran off. We need to find her, now bud." Hiccup said almost in a panic.
"Why, what happened?" Toothless asked again.
"I was telling her what I said I would, she blames herself saying she wants to die like 'Hiccup' did because she can't stand the abuse! Please Toothless, please help me find her...I never should of come here, I never should of told them anything...this is all my fault..." Hiccup said with deep concern.
"You're an idiot!" Toothless growled at him but hearing how worried he was he sighed out, "Get on. She means that much to you, so we can't let her hurt herself..." Toothless told him.
"You're the best bud...Thank you." Ryder said as he threw his leg over Toothless and position he feet on the stirrups as Toothless spread his wings and roared out as he took off. "Find her bud..." Ryder said rubbing his head. Toothless opened his mouth and let out a screech. It was silent a few minutes as they soared over the village then Toothless's ears began to twitch about.
"Down there she is, heading in to the forest." Toothless informed him.
"Get me in front of her, cut her off bud." Hiccup told him.
Toothless dived down and leveled out landing as Ryder jumped off and stopped her, she was crying uncontrollably as she ran in to his arms. Ryder didn't know what to do so he just held her in his arms as Toothless sat down with a grunt, Astrid was fighting to get away from him but he was stronger and kept her in place. 20 minutes later she calmed down to just light cries. "I just want Hiccup back..." Astrid whimpered out against Ryder's chest.
"I know you do but we don't have the power to bring back the dead, Astrid and you can't let Hiccup's death control your life. Its not your fault, he forgave you for stopping being his friend. He told me that himself. He wouldn't want you to die, he wouldn't want you to be like this...That's why he wanted me to make sure you're alright." Ryder told her calmly. Astrid pulled back finally and wiped her eyes.
"I–I'm sorry I...cried on you...again..." Astrid said in a cracked tone.
"It's fine. Crying is...healthy for you. Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on, someone to be there for them." Ryder told her softly.
"I–I know but...I haven't...had anyone in the last 5 years...I try so hard to keep it inside because I don't want to be seen as weak..." Astrid told him trying to compose herself.
"You're not weak. Crying doesn't make you weak, giving up does. I know your life has been hard these last 5 years since Hiccup died, but do you think for even a second he'd want this for you? The woman he loved wishing she was dead alongside him?" Ryder asked now.
"N–no...he wouldn't. He'd...probably be mad at me..." Astrid said looking down now.
"From how he talked about you, I'd say he'd be worried and never leave your side to make sure you were safe." Ryder said gently.
"I just...miss him so much...I cut our friendship and now...he's gone forever...I can never take back the things I said or did to him...It just hurts so much..." Astrid sat down now. Ryder sat beside her, listening to her again. "I'm sorry for letting all this out on you, Ryder...I just...I don't know you're easy to talk to..." Astrid sighed softly.
"Can't say I agree, for myself. It's been Toothless and I for as long as I can remember..." Ryder stated as Toothless looked over at him.
"I still can't believe you ride a Night Fury...the unholy offspring of lightening and death itself...None of us have ever gotten so close without being fired at." Astrid stated.
"That's because none of you understand dragons. If you understood them, you'd see what Hiccup was trying to show you all." Ryder said.
"Hiccup, you're doing it again." Toothless said with a groan.
"Relax Toothless...I'm just calming her down. Then we'll go..." Hiccup told him.
"Maybe you can show us. You can control the dragons, its like nothing we've ever seen! The whole village has been talking about how you trained a Night Fury." Astrid told him. At this Ryder stood to his feet and Toothless came beside him. Astrid watched him closely as he got on Toothless's back.
"Its not about control, Astrid. Its understanding that they aren't mindless killing beasts. They live, breathe, and feed like humans do they just look different than us. Hiccup learned that too. That's not the point here, point is that you can't give up just because Hiccup is dead. Now get back to the village, its time Toothless and I leave." Ryder said calmly. Astrid suddenly became afraid of him leaving, she'd be alone to deal with the village again. The thought terrified her, she saw Ryder about to take off when she grabbed his arm quickly and tightly.
"Please don't leave me!" Astrid pleaded looking up at him, Ryder whipped around looking down at her in shock of what she was asking. "Take me with you!" Ryder's eyes widened instantly.
