Ranma Aqua-Isekai'd, by Chaos Orchid

Chapter 22: Ranma's Second Fiancee

His emptied stomach growling and with the taste of puke in his mouth, Ryōga was barely able to groan, "You make me sick, Ranma(!)"

"You ain't doin' me no good, too(!)" Ranma knew he also would lose it himself if he didn't get away from the musclebound jerk! Getting up in the tub, he had to hold his queasy belly as he just managed to leap over the lump of ugly male flesh hanging over the side of the tub, blocking his way. As if on purpose!

But his bulging muscles stretched his tendons tight; he wasn't as agile as he should have been. His feet slipped on the wet floor of the furoroom! Only his techniques kept him from falling disgracefully onto his butt-he slid, instead! Fighting against the increased weight that was messing with his sense of balance, he slid and stumbled out into the hall. Its opposite wall stopped him. Before he knew what he was doing, he bounced off of it and-

His fist slammed against the wall beside the door: Centimeters from the one laughing at him. "You did this, didn't you!" he yelled at Cologne! Before she could do anything, he headbutted her!

"Ow!" He cried, holding his head, falling to his knees. "Why did I do that!?" Stupid, stupid!

Wait! Had he hurt Cologne!? She was an Elder! But more importantly, she was a woman. He had broken the Code! His aggression, though, almost didn't care.

She was sprawled inelegantly, half propped up against the wall. Her eyes were closed. Nothing was moving!

"Ra, Ranma, leave that beautiful woman alone(!)" The weakened strongman Ryōga had made it into the hall.

"I didn't mean to! It just happened!"

"You did because you're a pervert, didn't you! I'll protect her-and all women!-from you evil lusts!"

"MY evil lusts! You don't got no pants on and you're tellin' me I'M horny!?" Headache or not, he he leapt to his feet. "I'll do the protectin'!"

Wash! A waves of water seemed to come from out of Cologne's long, wide sleeves. One washed away Ryōga's manliness and humanity. All that remained of him was a pig.

"I'm feelin' like me again!" the beardless Ranma grinned, patting his once again martial artist's muscles: supple and graceful and more useful than for doing just strength feats. But more important than that was how much better he felt now that he wasn't overdosing on testosterone! What if worse had happened and the adrenaline had taken over!? It had been about to!

"The added male-on-male-repulsion mixture was just supposed to keep you over-testosteroned brutes from fighting each other." She got up as far as her knees. "But you did what your Master couldn't. Ranma, you have defeated me." And she bowed.

("Bwee, bwee!?")

"You had it comin', Witch! -No, wait! That wasn't me talkin'! I did it without thinkin'!"

"I know. But there is no excuse for a Woman Hero to let her guard down around a Beard. They exist only to be trained against. As motivation, our law says, The defeated must marry the victor. I am an Elder; I enforce the Law. I must honor it. I will marry you."

"No you won't have to! I, uh, I'm already supposed to marry somebody else! You said so yourself!"

"Eyeshadow can be our concubine."

"Concu…. What's that? No, I don't wanna know! I ain't ready to be married or whatever! I ain't won my freedom from Pop, yet! I don't wanna be chained up again before I know what freedom is like!

"-Ow!" The pig had bit his ankle!

"Freedom is a delusion. But I will give you the chance to defeat me as you truly are."

Ranma forgot to chase after the pig on hearing that. "Alright! I'm the best at martial arts' battles!

"What am I sayin'!? You're an Elder, And a witch! You gotta know all sorts of things I ain't learned yet!"

"And that is the only(!) reason you are being given this chance! I am going to stop being an Elder soon. If you cannot defeat me, whether you are a brute or not, then we will both be given the freedom to wander this mostly empty world. Driven away by Man-away if need be."

"What? Is that supposed to make sense!?"

"Once I am no longer an Elder, I will not be dependable, Idiot. Defeat me in your true form, then you can be my crutch! And I, yours!"

"I ain't gonna be nobody's crutch! And why do I need You to be a crutch for me!?(!)"

"You said it yourself: For what I can teach you! We'll both relearn special techniques few have been able to master!"

"Special techniques?" Ranma felt the stirrings of lust of a different kind.

"What about me!?" Ryōga demanded. "I'll defeat you to have those techniques!"

The beautiful woman looked critically at the other naked man. He blushed to well below his neck, held his nose and rushed back into the furoroom, out of sight! (They heard him slip and crash into the side of the tub.)

She looked into the eyes of the naked man before her, challenging him. "Defeat me and you skills will be tested and honed. To defeat me, the Law says, they must first defeat my fiance. And vice versa!"

"Fiance? You said I have to marry you."

"Semantics. We are only considered officially married when one of us becomes pregnant."

"It ain't gonna be me!"

"Oh, come now. I've been pregnant a few times. It can be a wonderful experience! As your husband and midwife…"

Ranma's hand shot into his weapon-space and pulled out, what? Clothes! And he was absolutely grateful that the Curse hadn't made them female clothes! Whether they was offense of defense, the target was Cologne, not him. How he got the kung fu style clothes on so fast, he didn't have time to analyze how they came on him!

He ran! "I'm so goin' back to Japan!"

He hadn't thought of the backdoor, only the shop door he'd come in from. Hairdo was there, but Ranma wasn't his "Red" and maybe he, a stranger, could get past him or distract him until he forgot to attack. But instead of him there was somebody else in the shop. Sweetie!

The preteen threw a black rose at him. And he was paralyzed.

"Well, done, Granddaughter!" Cologne smiled for her. "You have saved me from having to chase after your step-Grandfather. Or maybe, step-Grandmother(?)"

"...Step-... I just wanted to defeat him!"

"You know you're too young for that."

"I didn't mean that, You Meanie, Gramma! I know I'll always be too young!" she whined and stomped her feet.

"Maybe not. Maybe not," Cologne said softly, assessing the fallen boy.

"But I cannot promise. It may take another cycle before…this Chaos Seed is ready."

She stooped beside him and stroked his peach fuzz cheek. "Our Engagement Battle will help determine how much power potential you have."

"Gramma, Gramma! I know what the Chaos Seed is! It's Manicure's Other Half! The Redhead stuck in the magic layer!"

The woman lost her balance and plopped down onto her butt. "Of course! I should've remembered her!"

"But you…didn't. …I did." Ranma was already forcing his body to move. It wasn't much, but he was certain he'd soon have control of his body. "I(!) told…the Brat…."

"What a prize for an Airen!" Cologne's big, aquamarine eyes glistened.

"I, I have to…first…defeat you." Ranma told her, forcing his elbows under himself. "And it…ain't happening!(!)" He threw up a defiant fist

And fell back onto the floor.

"*Ha, ha!* I am afraid it has already happened, Airen. You defeated me as a Beard. The only thing our upcoming battle will immediately decide is whether we can remain among the Women Heroes. After all, a matriarchy cannot allow Alphas drunk on their ape aggressiveness to remain loose to prey on the civilized. We will not have dictators again."

"I wasn't like that before that bath!" Ryōga told her. He had found a snug robe.

"It's Nosering! He found his way out here!" Sweetie grinned.

"The Instant Nannichuan brought out your latent, primitive machismo," Cologne told him, but also Ranma. "Normally, the body stops producing the hormones when outside ones are introduced as it works to keep things balanced. But magic imbalances things. When that happens, we here in the Roof Valleys call a man given extra manhood a "Beard". For the obvious reason." It sounded like she was only reciting something she hadn't learned first hand.

"What does that mean?" Ryōga asked. "She lost me."

"Gramma's saying Nannichuan makes it clear how different men are from women. Men can't be trusted!" Sweetie told him.

"Can you be trusted?" the beautiful grandmother asked Ranma as she looked into his steel gray eyes while caressing his neck and chest. "The fate of fate of two worlds may depend on you. Not only This-side, but the one you were born to. What happens to you could effect the you you once were, your other half."

Ranma took her hand off of him. "You say I hafta defeat you a second time to stay? Ha! All I've known my whole life is travelin'. You say there ain't a lot of people out there, This-side? Ha! The times I've had to most problems are where there's too many! Even if Japan isn't Japan there, it is still the land I'm most familiar with and know my way around in! I can survive there: On my own!"

"Is that your decision, Airen? I know Japan, too. I will go with you, then."

(Ryōga's "I know Japan, too!" was ignored.)

"I didn't invite you!," he said getting (awkwardly) up. "And why do you know it?" He was suspicious.

"I told you before I have gone on field trips to Japan to collect ingredients for my potions. And that is where the Mushrooms of Time are found."

"The mushrooms that make you younger!?"

("There can't really be mushrooms that do that," Ryōga told himself.)

"Manicure told him, Gramma," Sweetie tattled. "I was there! He was holding me when she did."

"Then he knows that I, and Sweetie, she, too, must have some or die. The question remains. Can you be trusted?" She held up her hand.

Ranma knew he should just let her sit there. "I don't know how that proves I can be trusted." He knew, but the feelings he had had when Sweetie was facing the specter of death was transferred over onto this attractive, twenty-something woman. He took her hand.

But he let her pull herself up. "Shall we go?" she asked.

"Now?!"

"Soon I won't be getting any older," she smiled.

"If Gramma's going, I am too!" Sweetie said.

"So am I!" Ryōga counted himself in. "You won't runaway from me again, Ranma!"

"You'll get lost! Hmph! You can all get lost! I'm leavin' right now!"

Just as he reached the door, it opened. Blocking his way was a woman who actually looked elderly. The silver-haired, wrinkled old woman whose face seemed to be mostly eyes and was less than half his male size was holding a pendulum chain with a cat's-eye gem swinging on the end. "I felt a disturbance in the Greater Balance!" she announced.

"You divined right, Scent," Cologne told her. "Good news for you. Today is the day you became the eldest Elder. I'm leaving with my Airen."

"I cannot allow that, Cologne," she wrinkled more as she grimaced as she scowled.

"You don't wanna be the eldest Elder?" Ranma was confused.

"Of course I do, Moron. And I will be once Cologne becomes legally a minor-too young to be recognized as an adult!"

"Only because you won't let the law to be changed!" Sweetie accused, as always, on her grandmother's side.

"No. Scent is correct. With an immature body comes an immature brain. Only my mind will be 144-years old. I will not be far less confident in my decisions than I am now.

"I will need a crutch," she addressed Ranma. Ranma shuddered.

"But, Scent, I am legally bound to Ranma Saotome now! He has defeated me. Where he goes, I must go."

"Ha! Cunning Calculator. This is just your way to finally escape from your responsibilities! Even with reduced faculties, you will still have abilities beyond many others! You will still have the ability to relearn what has become vague! You must remain among the Women Heroes!" And she aimed her staff at her rival. "You Will remain!"

Ranma pushed the staff away. "That'll kill her, won't it!? Without those mushrooms of theirs, they both will die! That's your plan!"

"You are the perfect example of why we can not allow Youngsters to be Elders! You're understanding is totally limited! You need to be taught to respect your elders! Most especially Elders!"

"Hey!' Ranma held up his hands and backed away. "I can't fight you! If I defeat you, I'll hafta marry you, too!"

"As I said: Limited! I challenged you-"

Wash! Once again water seemed to come from out of Cologne's right sleeve. This time it wasn't just water.

Ranma was now the redhead again, and nearer Scent's own size.

"My Airen is my champion. She(!) will decide our destiny!"

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NOTES:

I couldn't find a place in the flow to say why the Instant Nannichuan made Ranma and Ryōga sick. In Manga Chapter 68, "The Scent of a Woman" and S2 E20, "S.O.S.! The Wrath of Happosai", he will be made to overdose on male underwear and sweaty jock-types and it will make him nauseously ill, as well. It is suggestive of the idea that Happosai needs female lingerie too counteract the exposure to all the males he has to encounter daily. (That's my explanation and I'm sticking to it.)

But, of course, the real reason for this development is that I don't want Instant-guy to be an easy out for when Ranma becomes a girl. (A time will, eventually, come when Ranma will have to stop using any Instant mix.)

I forgot to mention in Chapter 20 that the Mushrooms of Time have their story in Manga Chapter 347.

Scent first and last appeared in Chapter 9, "Ranma's First Time As a Girl". She is, of course, the substitute for the elderly Elder Cologne Ranma's other half will come to know, our Cologne's other half.

Finally, "Airen" follows Shampoo's example. In her dialect, it doesn't strictly have to apply to either a husband or a wife. It can have "intended tense", which is to wish so hard that it can become expected. Manifestation-thinking.