Shay, supported by folded angel wings and with Pippin at her side walked out of the hospital to meet the waiting Enoka family.
Janda rushed from the group to pull her into a desperate hug, filling her with the conflicted emotions that shook the slim shoulders in her arms. Sorrow and relief. Shay wrapped her adopted niece in the glow as the family enveloped them.
The joy of Shay's return tempered by their shared grief of T'Kazu's loss could be heard as they raised their voices in song.
For three days the people of Wakanda walked in mourning.
A procession of singing and dancing to celebrate the lives of the ones they loved.
On the fourth day Vision was laid to rest with honour alongside T'Kazu in the sacred place of burial reserved for warriors.
The U.S. Secretary of Defence had attempted to claim the android's body, but was quickly and completely shot down by T'Challa. The vibranium to create him had originally been stolen from Wakanda, and the King of Wakanda would bury Vision as he saw fit.
After the funeral Shay had retreated to the small bungalow. The constant flow of people in the palace had been rather exhausting. And after what happened… What she really needed was the quiet company of her closest friends, Steve and Sam had walked with her through the minefield of nightmares before. Nat had offered to join her too, but Shay hadn't wanted to disrupt the tentative first steps of whatever relationship her and Banner were building.
Shay stretched out on the sofa, leaning on Steve as they watched Tony fielding questions from the flock of reporters on the tv.
"You're expecting us to believe that some alien army showed up and there's no evidence?"
"Was this another Loki attack?"
"Is this some kind of hoax perpetrated by the Avengers to rebuild public trust?"
Tony snorted and activated a pair of gauntlets in warning as the crowd pressed in closer. It was the fierce glare of Pepper at his side that had the crowd stepping back.
"The attack on New York was Thanos's handiwork, he simply used Loki as his puppet. be glad none of you have endured the kind of mind twisting that sicko was capable of. As for evidence, we have plenty of footage, so if you would 'please' allow me to get out of the way, you can all enjoy the show and decide for yourselves."
Steve hit the remote and the screen went black.
"Tony seems to have a handle on things."
"He's always been good at working a crowd, and he's better with Pepper around." Shay answered thoughtfully.
"They're going to want to talk to you too, once the footage is out there."
"I know."
The world was hungry for news, everyone wanted to know just how close the thing had been, to be reassured the danger had passed.
Steve's jaw worked silently and the arm around Shay tightened slightly at the idea of press hounding her. "You don't have to do it, you know, you don't owe anyone anything Shay."
That statement sent her mind into another unrelated spiral. I don't owe anyone? That's not quite the truth, is it?
T'Kazu had always been on her case about living her own life, not to waste a moment. Though the grief had grown dull, his voice still seemed to call out to her through open doors and down corridors. The memory of his laughter as he called her cousin and introduced her to some new thing- so real in her mind
"Live a little, Cousin."
He wanted her to live. That was the first promise, the second… Well, James would have to actually ask before she could answer. And she hadn't seen him since the funeral.
"Bucky stopped by when you were sleeping earlier." Steve said, trying to sound casual.
Shay sucked in a slow breath, feeling like he'd read her mind, trying to understand how she felt about the distance James had put between them. "How is- is he ok, you think?"
"Bucky's… yeah, he'll be ok." Steve answered slowly. "He's been going back to see Ena. Says it's helping."
"That's good. He looks… he looked good. Lighter, you know? -before."
"He is still, considering everything that's happened."
"I had thought, that out here, just us three- I thought he might stay here too." Shay half-whispered the hope that had been dashed. He'd come to visit. While she was sleeping. He didn't stay.
"Bucky said he had to go home." Steve repeated his friend's excuse, but the words seemed feeble from his own lips. "Apparently there's a herd of goats he's got to look after."
Several miles away Sam was watching Bucky pull apart a bale of hay as goat kids nibbled at his shoes and tried to climb his back.
"Goats. That's your excuse? Really man?" Sam shooed the littlest blond lamb away from its contest with his shinbone.
Bucky grunted, shredding the dry grass unnecessarily fine and ignoring Sam entirely.
"You couldn't stay with us and come down here a couple times a day to do-" Sam waved his hand around the paddock, "-whatever you need to do?"
"Drop it, Sam."
"Ok, alright, I'll drop it- when you tell me what's really going on."
Sam was staring him down, his arms crossed.
Bucky sighed, dusting his hands off and straightening up. "I don't know what you want me to tell you."
"Why are you avoiding Shay?"
"She doesn't- there are enough people around who want something from her right now. She doesn't need me." These last words seemed to slip out without his permission and he looked at his fists, clenching.
"Shay tell you that?"
No. Bucky merely glared at Sam; his teeth clenched stubbornly against more unintended words.
"I know Shay, Buck, and I know she needs you, even if she won't say it. She's been trying to be ok with whatever you're working through, but its you she asks for when she wakes up at night."
Sam looked worried and like he knew he'd struck the knockout blow at the same time.
"Nightmares?" the word felt gritty on his tongue. "They started again?"
"They never stopped, but they're worse now."
Sam explained the events that led to the move out of the palace as Steve had relayed it to him.
"When can I leave?" was Shay's first question at Dr. Strange's sudden appearance.
"I'd prefer to keep you here for another night, but if everything continues as it has, I don't see why you can't get out tomorrow morning. I would suggest that you take it easy and not heal anyone until your energy signature returns to normal." He checked her vitals using another hovering spell and when he was satisfied, pulled a packet of pain meds from the bag he carried and calibrated a dose.
"I don't want it." Shay had said quickly, struggling to suppress the pain and raising her hands as though attempting to ward off a blow.
"You are in pain, are you not?" Strange asked, confused and a little condescending as he moved closer.
Loki's staff barred the way, and Strange took a tiny step back at the flash of anger he read in the pale face, before the Asgardian looked back at Shay with transparent worry.
"I don't need it, please, don't-"
Her eyes were a little wild now and Steve, noticing the signs of a panic attack leaned back away from her, splaying both his hands where she could see them.
Pippin made a low grumbling sound in his throat and leapt onto the bed, laying his full weight across her legs and torso.
"Shay, it's ok. No one is going to hurt you, you're safe. Breathe with me, ok?" Steve said, keeping his voice even and slow. "That's it, just breathe, in and out."
Shay was there, breathing in and out at his command but her eyes moved rapidly, seeing something Steve and Strange couldn't.
"She fears the medicine." Loki said, his voice distant as green light glimmered in his palm an inch from her foot.
"Why?" Dr. Strange asked.
"It is difficult to see clearly... She has been incapacitated before, by the designs of others." Loki's eyes widened and he inhaled sharply. "She would rather be in pain than without her senses."
Bucky stiffened and it felt as though his teeth might break as they clenched again.
She'd told him at that party Stark had thrown, forever ago. She didn't get drunk; it dulled her sense. He had seen the flicker of a painful memory cross her face as she'd said it, had wondered what it might mean.
Then there was the collar she'd been subjected to on the raft. Okoye had been deeply affected by the sight of it and the impression it had left on Shay, something she still brought up from time to time when she trained the White Wolf to fight like the Dora Milage. "If the Angel can fight for her life with that horrible device on her neck, you can learn to fight with one arm."
The second attack had come as a surprise. But this time Friday had caught it on camera. Sam pulled it up on his phone, but he hesitated, not sure how well Bucky would take it.
"Show me." Bucky demanded.
"This was just after the funeral."
Shay had laid on the couch in the apartment suite made available to them, with Wanda and Peter in arms reach and Loki in an opposite chair watching the door.
Shay had fallen asleep quickly, exhausted. Soon she was shifting, her eyelids flickering rapidly as the dreams came on. Peter had been too quick, taking her hand before Wanda could warn him off.
And in the blink of an eye the room was filled with red vapour, and Shay's eyes flashed open in panic.
Someone was screaming. Pain jerked through her body and Shay seemed lost, her eyes unfocused.
Loki's voice broke through the fog though his lips didn't move. "Peace, Lady Mercy, none here will harm you."
And then she seemed to see again. The vapour disappeared and Wanda's scream faded to soft sobs. Peter was curled in a ball and Loki stretched experimentally as the stiffness left him.
Shay apologized, begged to heal them. But Wanda refused to let her take back the pain and fear she had unwittingly shared. She wasn't supposed to heal anyone yet. Peter tried to look strong, but his fingers trembled as his advanced healing flushed the adrenaline from his system.
The merest glance passed between them and Loki carried Shay from the room as though she weighed nothing.
"She's been doing the recalibrating- whatever. The headset thing they did with you." Sam murmured to Bucky's frozen frame.
Goats tugged on Sam's shoelaces and bleated for treats as the sun warmed his skin.
"Ok." Bucky finally answered. "I'll come back."
