A/N: Hmmm, reply to review time!

The embodiment of Weirdness ch1: Thanks!

The embodiment of Weirdness ch2: That would depend on the narrative, but more or less, I'm going to focus on Proto-Arthur only.

Primus1661: Now that would be telling

TyrTheFallen: As seen in this episode, he have PLANS!

Kitsune Obsessed Freak : The MC is modeled after me, my English is literally further butchered ya see due to living for years in different places that is similar in a way to Japan that uses gratuitous English to sound cool and even mix it to their dialects that certain people that I know of that I have mixed with mine over the years conversing with them so there would be times that his words would be delivered or spelled differently than the one accepted internationally on all main English speaking countries world-wide.

In the green pupil/eye thing, my bad on that one. The first that came to me was literally green eyes, which can mean something differently in a certain way you read about it so my brain picked reflexively what's the next best thing. . . which iris is strangely way off the line so to say. My bad, imma fix that o_o).

Now onto the chapter!

Chapter 2: Bro Code No. 5: Don't Gloat Your Hoes to Your Bros

"Sorry for intruding Chitose-san," I smiled genially at the generally pissed off looking woman. My uniform haphazardly still on me, collar slung around my neck and with my security guard hat tittering to the side of my head besides my coat that have actual tassels by the way that I am holding by the collar and in my back. Even as a security guard, I can't get away with ridiculously designed anime uniforms!

"Yeah, yeah fuck off with your shit Andrew-san, and I know you're a strange decent shitstain but if I notice a wiff of that thing," The woman pointed at the six pack I was carrying. "On my perverted idiot of a brother, I'm going to fucking gut you."

Nodding to her, the woman clicked her tongue and slammed the door in my face. Good woman, works for the family and all that even with her brother's antics and circle of friends, added points even that she's an ex-delinquent and did not mold out of her personality like some demented caterpillar the same like majority of the typical people of her ilk and one of the few people who truly knows my other. . . less than fairy tale-like personality. I flipped off the bitch still behind the door for good measure and luck.

Walking at the silent trio in a circle on Matsuda's room, I slammed my ass down on the tatami floor with my six pack, grabbed some of the food the rascals have in the center, and proceeded to drink one can and swallow some of the grub while having one eye observing the trio.

Matsuda, the Perverted Baldy and the owner of the room looks fucking dead, slouched where he is sitting cross-legged and the eyeballs of the idiot is literally rolled up in his head. Drool flowing out of his mouth for good measure.

Motohama, the Perverted Glasses' soul seems to actually be leaving his body and the only one on bed on this circle with baldy's blanket wrapped in him and playing with his console. Seems in denial of reality from my expert point of view.

Lastly, Hyoudou Issei, the aspiring 'Harem King' and the poor fucker is absolutely giddy, actually glowing like the idiot had orgasmed a few times and knowing him, might had actually beat his stick a few times(or actually orgasmed without doing it, this world is fucking weird to probably pull that stunt off consecutively with no hands) just to know that he got a girl to ask him out.

Crack!

Oh. . . I accidentally crushed my can. Glad it was empty then. As if that was the signal, Hyoudou 'Fucking Tits Obsessed' Issei started to gloat.

"Guhe," God that laugh and his face looks good to add a knuckle sandwich right now. "Guhehehehe I got a girlfriend! I got a girlfriend! Yoshaaa! The true step one for my harem king path!"

And the two snapped out of their funk and proceeded to wail at the idiot even if said idiot's cockroach-like tendency seems to tank every hit like a champ.

"Gyaaaahhhh! Motohamah you fasfard!" Oh, nerd seems to had the smart idea to shove his still throbbing and still red palms on Issei's mouth. Huh, did the bastard actually not wash his wands off the jalapeno bits that stuck on his palms or did they not get washed off? Former would be highly gross, and the latter might be interesting to look up in my mini garden if something weird again happened to my plants or during my modification process of my 'spite materials'.

Me? I'm too mature to not give a shit about the situation. Nope, nada, zilch. . . ok I'm a bit enjoying what I'm looking at right now!

By the time the trio calmed down, the food in our little circle I dearly protected with my life from both normal projectiles and human ones are already a quarter chunked off and I was in my third can. What? I'm a gourmet that loves to savor each meal as much as I can. And given the trio infront of me literally begged for me to go here through the phone when I was supposed to crash a few cafes and gorge some sweets.

"I'm sorry!" Ise said in a dogeza. Seems the two is decent enough to not hit him in the mug right now. Besides the nerd shoving his hand on the idiot's mouth. Then they proceeded to talk shit up and bounced back as the three idiots do in this usual get together, with added mix of congratulating Issei with the good catch he got.

"Excuse me, no I beg of you Andrew-sama!" Before Ise suddenly closed in to me with a perfect slide dogeza I coached him before! Almost made me cry after I coached the trio how to pull off the breakdance dogeza and they perfectly pulled it off in front of me. Can't survive this world without being bombastic and all and that particular video with its contents already learnt by the four idiots in this room would be posted in YouTube by 2014 still if I remember. . . so basically where the first four idiots who mastered the shit that video displayed!

Take that, DxD!

"Could you please teach me how to please a girl like Yuuma-chan!" The boy continued without my train of thought ruining the atmosphere. Wait what? Hyoudou fucking Issei is asking for dating advice to me!?

I mean, sure if we list the circle of people the boy has. . . two are idiots that shares the same single brain cell with him, a perverted girl that is highly questionable to ask dating advice in the likely possibility she'd screw him up just for shit and giggles even if the brat's loyalty is actually pretty good if you get to know her, a childhood friend that should had sent a fucking letter or two years ago constantly and thus a no show, his parents is a bad idea of asking for dating advice in leu of the two's chemistry is actually ridiculously perfect. . . I mean, Mr. Hyoudou could be asked given their family seems to have lady killer tendencies but its highly debatable on dealing with crazies like Raynare and he might had been the one the boy approached before and we know what happened at that time. . .

Huh. . . so its only me? I mean, fuck I am not qualified for this shit! I only had one girl that I broke up years ago due to my idiocy and let's not start talking about the dumpster fire that is Arthur's romantic life. Besides Ayaka of course! I mentally grinned at the feeling of embarrassment I felt briefly. Anyways. . .

"My advice I guess on a woman like that girl. . . is always beware of the demure type!" Were the words that came out of my mouth! Sage advice through anime tropes! Praise me Lord ENIYA-sama for following such things in animeland! God what's wrong with me for talking about this shit like some universal truth that I actually always use only use as a suggestion. . .

"What!? But Yuuma-chan looks and acts like a good girl!" Ise said with a comeback even if he is actually believing with my bullshit with that look! Fuck, what the hell did I dug myself into! Even baldy and glasses are listening to my words like gospel that the latter is even writing the words I said!

"Idiot! Can't you remember Mikage Summerfield in Love Love Ultimate Fantasy!?" Oi, you should not believe what those shitty eroges DxD Japan feeds you lot! Hyoudou Issei staggered with a pale face and shivering while holding his genitals at the nerd's words.

"Y-you mean Yuuma-chan asked me out so she can get close to me, cut my genitals and preserve it for her debauchery in the future!?" These brats. . . and what the hell Issei for you getting off with this shit!

"No! What I think Andrew-sama is saying is about. . . the Super Secret Hyper Happy Ending!" The baldy said looking at me in admiration. What!? I don't know what fuck you are talking about shitstain! And then the baldy proceeded to monologue about an extremely short summary of how the MC managed to turn the tables on the obviously unhinged female character and turn her into his own beloved twisted love slave hellbent on obeying every word and orders the MC uses to the T.

"Wrong, fucking, genre you shitstains!" I can't help but slam the two's head together! You know what, fuck this shit!

"Anyways, before these two idiots ruined everything again, what I was trying to say is that women you just first met, strangers or acquaintances might have personalities or quirks that you don't know about and thus ruin the chemistry you both are making in the right moment or how you both did not address it," Holy shit, I'm actually giving good sage advice! "Take that woman for example, she's an absolute stranger, you don't understand how her brain works, what's actually the true reasons why she approached and considered you as dating material, she obviously wanted to give you a good impression so her acting demure and all that crap to get close to you."

"Yuuma-chan would never be something like what you think!" Huh, for a brickhead, he seemed to had read the lines and where I am getting to. Even if he is actually getting clear headed and listening to everything I'm saying, the idiot is still a bit there in cloud 9.

"That I, you, and the two idiots on the floor don't know of," I shrugged at him after pointing each individuals. "It would take you more time than the few minutes you had talked and crap to get to know some of her quirks and actual personality. She might be actually the genuine article, or some different types of women out there."

"T-then. . . how should I do this. . ." And then there's the clueless lonely brat with a heavily stunted social development underneath the stubborn intrepid harem king dreamer with all the tits in his brain.

"I don't have the full answer sheet on that brat," I said truthfully on the boy. "The only thing I can advice on ya is that all women are strange and different like the normal people they are. I'd say be a gentleman, trust your guts and make her enjoy the time together with you but I think that's what your old man would have said."

The boy nodded being familiar with the man enough to probably say such things. . . after probably crying tears of denial that transitions to happiness and stuff on Issei's situation. I scratched my head on what to say next when an idea cropped up to me when the boy still looked confused.

"Still, congrats brat I guess for having a girl to ask you out," The boy smiled. "Still, if you want to listen to this bloody gaijin, another sage advice I could give you is, don't, look, at, her tits, too much!"

"B-but those glorious oppais are divinely sculpted to perfection!" I nearly cracked a smile at the brat's words.

"Yes! But you'd scare her if you keep ogling on them! Look or glance as barely as possible as much if its an accident but don't overdo it too much!" Huh a thought suddenly came to me. . . is this how it feels to have a younger brother or crap?

"Yes!"

"Don't let her first impression fool you! React and act first based on the truth the woman accidentally or purposely shows you!"

"Yes!"

"Don't focus on her always like a crazy love-struck fool! Don't put her as the center of your universe! Have life outside of it and observe what is around you for those juicy white knight points!"

"""Yes!""" Huh, the two already woke up.

"Be yourself and talk shit, gloat and show your dominance when you win against her!"

"""YE-WAIT WHAT!?""" The trio ruined the hype man's momentum. Fuck.

"As much as eroge, manga, anime or the fucking riajuus color shit up with flowers and roses, dating should have all the flavor and more of having best friends and all the crap that it entails and so fanning the flames of competition is par on course of having fun with each other." I said what I think is part of my relationship goals in life which the normie!me and Arthur!me agree on given we both have fair share of competitive women that we met and knew.

"I see, so that's the secret of having a happy life huh. . ." Oi baldy, don't become enlightened and turn into a buddha Infront of us!

"Gusu! I think I just realized why mother and father always go overseas together each end of the month or too busy in their work even as competing employees. . ." Now that's just fucking sad.

"Enjoy and have fun huh. . ." And Hyoudou Issei is actually internalizing advice beyond the idea of tits and harem! Clenching one of his fist to his chest, the boy looked at me with shining and admiring eyes. "Thank you very much for the advice, Andr–no, aneki!"

Guh, that look and earnestness are fucking low blows shitstain, and don't follow you two on that shit! After some platitudes, and another bout of congratulating Issei, the boy's phone rang just in time before I kicked the three's asses and it was his parents calling him to go home. Getting another bout of thanks and scheduling a much prepared get together, the boy walked out of the room amidst the smiling and happy friends and a confused woman who glanced at us when the boy walked out.

". . ."

". . ."

". . . "

Crap, I just realized something. Regardless of the advice and stuff I bullshitted on Issei, Raynare's still a crazy bitch and would fucking gut him when she invited him to that date! Looking at the date today, there's still two days of preparation before Sunday(3rd day) arrives. A glance on the two still smiling and cheerful idiots who have decided to play one last game before Motohama goes home, an idea came to me.

I already have a prepared plan on dealing with the date, how about we have some fun while that date is ongoing just to avoid getting stressed the fuck out of shit and actually do a shenanigan that is of my fault? Cracking the 4th can open and drinking it slowly as I observed the duo playing on the console baldy have in his room, I waited until only a few drops are left of it before I proceeded to crush it!

CRACK!

The two looked at me questioningly when they saw my eyes gained a sharp and pissed look.

[h. t. t. p. s. : / / i . postimg . c c / 3xQpsT9Z / Meme-1-5 . gif (AN: remove the periods in the h .t .t. p. s., and the spacings)]

"That bastard. He's going to have sex with that girl." The duo's face froze and darkened. I pressed on.

"He's going to have lovey dovey sex with that girl after I gave him those reasonably good advice."

""Gehuk!""

"That Hyoudou Issei who's dream of a harem king life in modern day Japan would handhold that girl thoroughly."

""Heok!""

"I'm sure he'd hit on the girl's possible younger imouto with a loli body after he build enough confidence for his harem king plan."

"Gah!" Baldy collapsed on the floor frothing in his mouth with blood running out of his nose.

"Worse, the mother might be not safe that would probably have a beautiful MILF body with perfect golden ratio on every measurement and proceed to have lovely oyakodon intercourse."

CRACK! Was the sound of the nerd's glasses as one of the lenses literally cracked somehow while his mouth pursed into a thin line, blood coming out the side of his lips.

"And that fucker has the gal to gloat on us without a relationship of him having nabbed a girlfriend THAT asked him out first. . ." The perfect clincher!

"I-I see, I almost forgot about it with the happy shounen experience. . . But Ise's plan of a harem king would start in earnest now huh. . . and for him to possibly worship a loli body intimately in real life!" Baldy wiped the froth out of his mouth with the back of his hand, rising from his grave slowly and painstakingly.

"Y-yeah. . . I fear Ise might get arrested now that I think about it i-if he get caught having affair with m-multiple women n-now that I think ab-bout it! And I ca-can't trust him e-enough to work th-the s-social dynamics f-for a h-hot mother-in-law or h-hot aunt-in-laws felt a-attacked!" The nerd said, literally stuttering every words while shivering at whatever he is seeing behind those glasses and justifying them!

My alarm rang when I planned to continue to fan the flames, realizing that its much better to plan this up further and let it fester, I stood up, wrapped my cloak back up my shoulders.

"Let's talk and plan this out tomorrow. I think I need to ask people around." I said seriously on the two.

"Yeah aneki! I think I still have the number of some of my old friends that had gone delinquent!" Baldy said with a pump-up fist.

". . . should I call that guy. . . no, I think I should bribe that person up. . ." The nerd muttered rapidly as he pushed his glasses up his nose.

For tonight, even with some other ulterior motive in my end, the single brain cell we used together are all in agreement!

'''That fucking date would be burnt to the ground! That fucker dared try to win life first and leave us to dust!'''

Next, Sunday! Fucking D-Day!

A/N: Bro Code Rule No. 1: Bros before Hoes as observed, circa 2008 in DxD timeline.

And before people lynch these two up, there are times bros support their bro having a hoe, but this time is an exception on the rule when the innate jealousy of someone you know as an absolute hopeless dude that is similar to you that had been stuck for years in a similar situation gets fanned by an absolute dick you call a big brother :V. True, canon wise, the two are loyal dickheads to Ise still and gets violently jealous of his harem, but know that the women dogpiling on the MC is someone they know heavily and they looked up as untouchable idols.

Again, thanks much for likes and reviews peeps! Seems there's a lot of people who loved this one so I think I'm going to write more of this in the near future! So long as the hype is real, this will still roll baby!

The video MC was referring:

h . t . t . p. s. : / / w w w . youtube watch ? v = XspDkqEtWFE

Just remove the periods and spacing.

Oh, and as usual, review as much as you can and being frank and stuff, my muse and me likes it!