I am just so excited to post this chapter! It's my favorite so far, and it also comes with a big amount of relief. I hope you enjoy it!
oOo
The uncomfortable silence Hermione left in the wake of her abrupt departure was deafening. After a few moments, Ron watched as Harry stood up and followed her, the sound of the backdoor closing behind him the only noise that could be heard in the suddenly tense room.
Unable to stand the awkwardness a second longer, Ron got up as well. Instead of going outside, however, he made his way upstairs to his old attic bedroom. When he flung open the door, the bright orange walls gave him a tiny amount of comfort, and he walked over to the too-small bed, throwing his body face down into the pillow. Letting out a muffled groan, he willed the evening to be over soon so he could just go home.
Ron didn't respond when there was a knock on the door, and when it swung open anyway, he didn't even bother to look and see who was approaching.
"This is getting a bit ridiculous, don't you think?" Ginny stated as she walked over and sat on the bed next to his splayed out body.
Ron flipped so that he could look at his sister. "I didn't bloody do anything! I don't know why Hermione ran off, but whatever the reason, it has nothing to do with me!'
"It has everything to do with you!" Ginny retorted. "She's trying, Ron. Can't you see that?"
Ron shrugged. "I don't know… Maybe, yeah," he relented.
"You need to go talk to her. One simple conversation, and this can all be over with."
"Harry went after her," he replied weakly. Ron could feel his resolve crumbling, and he didn't like the feeling of helplessness it was creating in him.
"Harry was never able to calm her down the way you used to be able to," she pointed out. "You and I both know that Harry is bollocks when it comes to that sort of stuff."
Ron's chest constricted. "Why do I have to go to her?" he asked. "If she 'needs' me like you say she does, why can't she come to me?"
"Because she thinks you hate her."
"I do."
Ginny sighed. "No. You don't."
Ron said nothing and Ginny's tone turned more accusing. "I, for one, am happy to have her back, and honestly, I think you are, too." Ron opened his mouth to deny this, but Ginny continued, her voice growing more stern. "You are only pushing Hermione away because you're terrified that she's going to tear down whatever mental wall you've built against her and break your heart again. You still have feelings for her," she finished, sounding completely sure of herself. "Before, I wouldn't have thought so, but now that she's back, it's totally obvious."
He shook his head. "Ginny, that's ridiculous. I do not have feelings for Hermione."
"Puh-lease! You're all moody and googly-eyed, just like you were at Hogwarts. Honestly, I think it's even worse than it used to be."
"You're delusional," Ron said, but his insides were twisting uncomfortably with the realization that his sister might be right. To what extent those feelings were, Ron still didn't know, but they were definitely there. He wouldn't deny the fact that he still found Hermione attractive, because he definitely did, but he hadn't allowed himself to question how he felt about her much further than that.
The truth was, her presence had dredged up old feelings, and it was doing his head in. He could not get back into the fucked up mind space it was to love Hermione Granger. He'd been there once before, and he knew where that path ended.
Letting out a breath, Ron closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fuck," he muttered.
Ginny gave a sympathetic chuckle. "That bad, huh?"
He moved his hand away from his face and gave his sister a pleading look. "I refuse to do this again, Gin."
"Maybe it will turn out differently this time," she said, giving his arm an encouraging pat. "In fact, I hope it does. I don't know what went wrong with you two, but I'm sure it can be resolved now. Then you can get married and live happily ever after, just like Harry and me!"
Ron scoffed. "For Merlin's sake, let's not go there. Hermione doesn't feel that way about me." Ginny opened her mouth to argue, but Ron cut her off. "And even if she did, it's not as if I want to be with her, Gin. Bloody hell, it's been five years! We don't know each other anymore."
"That's true," Ginny said in a slow voice. "But that is easily fixable." She gave him a pointed look.
He groaned. "Stop it, Gin. Me and Hermione….it's never gonna happen." He sighed. "But you're right. It can't go on like this between us. I'll fix it. As friends," he added with a glare when his sister's eyes sparkled mischievously.
She smiled. "Thank you. It would sure make things a lot easier for me. You know, the most important person at the moment. The bride-to-be."
"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled. "Ok, loser, let me up so I can talk to Hermione. If she's still here, that is."
Ginny stood up, and Ron swung his legs over the side of the bed before standing as well. With a hug and a 'good luck' from his sister, Ron made his way downstairs again before stepping out the back door. The temperature was perfect, and the sun was just starting to set, making the sky a bright orange color. Ron stood on the back porch for a moment and took a few deep breaths to calm his nerves.
Going on a gut instinct, he headed in the direction of the pond, remembering all of the summers that Hermione would sit with her back against a shaded tree to read, while everyone else swam. As he walked, he internally tried to come up with the right words to say to her. Now that he wanted to fix things between them, he wasn't sure how he was supposed to go about it. There wasn't much time to dwell on it though, because as Ron exited the wooded path to the pond, he was met with the sight of Harry and Hermione.
They were sitting next to each other on a small wooden bench, talking quietly as they gazed out at the still water. Ron's dad had built the bench 'the muggle way' when Ron had been just a boy, and the memory made him smile. Tentatively, he started to approach them when a twig snapped under his foot, causing both Harry and Hermione to turn and look at him. Harry seemed a little wary, but Hermione quickly looked away again, her back rigid as she stared straight ahead.
After a few whispered words to Hermione, Harry stood up. As he passed Ron, Harry muttered under his breath, "Don't fuck it up, mate."
Nodding, Ron continued until he reached the bench and sat down next to Hermione's stiff form, half thinking that she would jump up and take off. He was surprised, however, when she didn't move, though her body remained tense as if ready to flee at a moment's notice.
He remained silent, and Hermione shot him a sideways glance but didn't say anything, her eyes going back to the tranquil pond in front of them. Following her gaze, Ron tried to give her some sort of space, knowing she would talk to him once she was ready.
"Why are you out here, Ron?" she finally asked after several silent minutes. Ron felt the sharp sting of regret as he realized she sounded as tired as he felt.
"To see if you're okay," he answered honestly.
"I'm fine," she replied, but Ron could tell she was anything but.
He sighed. "Since you've been back, I haven't exactly been fair to you, Hermione."
"I'm not innocent in that regard either," she mumbled, her hands picking at a blade of grass in her lap.
Ron chuckled. "Never said you were."
A ghost of a smile passed Hermione's face before she took her bottom lip between her teeth. "We used to be really close, Ron," she whispered.
Ron had to bite his tongue in order to keep his own emotions in check over hearing the pain in her voice. Forcing a smile, he slid closer to her and pressed himself up against her side.
"There you go, now we're really close," he declared, gesturing to the lack of space between them.
Hermione leaned away from him before coming back and nudging his shoulder with hers. "Oh honestly! Did you never grow up?" she chastised, but Ron felt relieved to see she was now smiling.
"Grow up? What's the fun in that?" he smirked. "Us Weasleys don't believe in growing up."
She turned to him, her face again serious. "I mean it. I don't want it to be like this between us anymore."
"It is bloody exhausting," he agreed. "Pointless as well. What are we achieving by hating each other?"
"I never hated you," Hermione said, and Ron could tell by her expression that she was telling the truth.
"I wanted to hate you," he admitted. "But I don't think I ever actually did."
She nodded, and they both turned away again, looking anywhere but at each other.
"Do you remember," Ron started in a slow voice as he turned to face her. "During third year, when Harry wasn't allowed to go to Hogsmeade with us, and we went alone for the first time?"
Hermione turned to him, her eyebrows furrowed. "Yes."
"Well, that was the first time I knew."
"Knew what?" she asked, a small smile on her lips that made Ron momentarily forget what he had been saying.
He cleared his throat. "That we could have fun- just us two. Before, it was always you, me, and Harry, but that time it wasn't, and I had a lot of fun that day."
"Me too," Hermione whispered. "It's one of my fondest memories."
Fuck.
Ron turned his head away, knowing he couldn't allow himself to fall into the moment and do something foolish like try and kiss her. Not even five minutes into reconciliation, and he was already thinking like a goddamn fool.
"So, just to clarify, we are no longer at odds with each other," Hermione said as she sat up straighter. "We are adults, after all, and we should act like it."
"Didn't you just accuse me of having never grown up?" Ron asked, giving her a lopsided grin.
To his pleasure and astonishment, Hermione flushed. "You've grown up," she said as she avoided his eyes.
He raised his eyebrows. "Is this about my body?" he asked. "Because if it is-"
"It is not about your body," she interjected with a laugh. "You're so ridiculous."
"Okay," he said airily. "Whatever you say, Her-my-oh-nee."
To his surprise, Hermione's hands came up to grip either side of his head, her fingers moving over his skull as if inspecting it for something.
"What are you doing?" he asked as he resisted the urge to shiver at the feel of her fingers running through his hair.
"Oh, just inspecting your head to see if it's bigger than it used to be."
Laughing, Ron pulled himself back out of her grasp. "Oi! I'm not full of myself!"
"You are definitely full of yourself," Hermione countered.
"And you aren't?"
"No."
He scoffed. "I know better than that."
"What are you, some kind of Hermione Granger expert?" she shot back, causing Ron to throw his head back and laugh.
"Alright, I can admit it, that was not my finest moment," he said between chortles.
Hermione giggled. "Mine either. "
As they laughed, any remaining tension seemed to drain away. Ron felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, leaving him feeling much lighter than before.
"Past aside, I am a little bitter about something," he said after they had quieted.
Hermione's forehead wrinkled in the most adorably confused way. "Bitter about what?" she asked.
"On Monday, you gave Harry three hugs. I got zero."
She burst into laughter. "You counted?"
Ron shrugged, his soft chuckle belied by the seriousness of his expression. "I pay attention."
"And you thought you would get a hug after the way you treated me?" she asked, crossing her arms.
Ron gave her the most puppy-eyed look he could muster. "You know me, I have a flair for the dramatic." He paused. "But I was wrong, Hermione. I should have welcomed you back the way an old friend is supposed to. Forgive me?" He stood up and moved in front of her, holding his arms out in invitation.
Hermione's smile was genuine as she stood and took a few steps to him, her arms wrapping around and squeezing him tight.
Ron wasn't ready for the onslaught of affection he felt as he pulled her closer, her body melding perfectly against his. She still smelled like Hermione, but perhaps with a little more perfume than he remembered. One of his arms wrapped around her waist and the other around her back, his hand traveling to the back of her head so he could run the tips of his fingers through her hair. If Hermione had any objections to this, she didn't show them, and instead nuzzled further into his chest, sending his heartbeat racing.
Holding her like this was dangerous, and Ron knew it. Touching her could only lead him to want more and now he was willingly running towards a broken heart that he wasn't even sure had healed from the first time around. But even though he was scared shitless, he wasn't going to be the one to let go first because she felt too good in his arms, as if she truly belonged there.
They stood there for a long while, neither of them saying anything. Ron closed his eyes, soaking in the moment. They finally stepped back at the same time when there was the sound of a door slamming in the distance.
Hermione smoothed out her hair, her face flushed.
Ron cleared his throat. "So. Clean slate?" he asked, sticking his hand out. Hermione gave a small smile as she took it in hers. He took a deep breath. There was more they needed to discuss. "Hermione, maybe we should-"
"So you two have sorted yourselves, I guess?" Ginny's voice rang as she stepped out from the throng of trees that surrounded the pond. "About bloody time."
"Yeah, we're good," Ron confirmed.
Ginny clapped her hands. "Great! Dessert is ready."
oOo
This time, Hermione's joyous mood was not forced, and she chatted animatedly with everybody. Though nobody said it out loud, Hermione could tell by the look on everyone's faces that they were ecstatic that she and Ron were again on speaking terms. After dessert, she, Ginny, Fleur, and Angelina sat on the sofa catching up on all the drama she'd missed over the years while Harry, Ron and his brothers played a loud game of Exploding Snap. Every so often, Hermione would look up and find Ron staring at her, something that never failed to make her heart flutter.
When the game was over, he stood up and walked over to stand behind the sofa, leaning down to whisper in her ear.
"Fancy a walk?" he asked her.
"Well, that depends." she said. "A walk with whom?"
"Why, with your favorite ginger, of course!" he replied, giving her a wide smile.
"Who said you're my favorite?" she teased. "Maybe it's Fred? Or maybe Ginny? And though he's not here, I have to admit I've always found Charlie to be quite charming…"
"Oh, come on, Hermione. It's perfect walking weather. Walk with me."
"Alright," she agreed. "But let me at least use the loo and braid my hair before we go. The wind will whip it into a mess if I don't."
"Okay, but hurry. I'll give you thirty seconds and if you aren't back by then, I'm leaving without you."
"You wouldn't."
"Nah, I wouldn't. But hurry."
Hermione shot him a grin before turning around and running to the small downstairs bathroom. After using the loo, she pulled a hair tie from her wrist and braided her hair before checking herself in the mirror. It was ridiculous how giddy her reflection looked, but she couldn't help it. Not wanting to waste anymore time, she hurried out and she and Ron headed outside together.
"So," she started as they walked side by side in the cool night air. The sun had set a while ago, but the moon and the stars lit up the sky, making it easy to see the vast property around them.
"So?" Ron asked, giving her a sideways grin.
She laughed. "How's life?"
"Can't complain. I have a great job, great family and friends."
"And can I count myself among the 'friends' again?"
At her question, Ron shoved his hands in his pockets, his eyes on his shoes. He didn't respond for several long moments, and Hermione worried she had already overstepped her boundaries with him, but then he gave her a small smile.
"You are. But for the record, I never stopped thinking of you as a friend, Hermione. I never thought I'd see you again, but-" He paused. "I couldn't just erase the years that we were friends."
"You really never thought you'd see me again?"
He shook his head. "No, I didn't."
Hermione bit her lip. "I'm sorry if I made you think that, Ron."
Ron only shrugged, and she took a deep breath. "What were you going to ask me earlier? By the pond, right before Ginny showed up."
"Oh. That's why I asked you out here, actually. I know it's not what either of us wants, but I really think we should talk a little about what happened five years ago. It's obvious we both need some closure, and if we're going to have a clean slate, we need to be able to talk about it," he stated. "We're friends again, and that's great, truly, but I think we need to get everything out of the way before we can start over. We need to leave the past in the past in order to move on."
"You're right." She beamed at him. "How wise and mature of you, Ronald Weasley. Maybe you have grown up after all."
"What can I say?" he said. "I've come a long way."
"A true miracle, indeed."
Ron chuckled, but after a minute, his face grew serious. "I want to start with my anger towards you since you've been back."
"You've already apolog-"
He shook his head. "No, I didn't. Not really. But please, let me explain." Knowing he needed to get it off his chest, Hermione said nothing, and Ron continued. "I've been angry for so long. When I saw you…Seeing you again, Hermione… it brought everything back, all the negative emotions at once. I was overwhelmed, and I guess getting angry felt safer, even if it was only subconsciously."
"Did I really hurt you that bad, Ron?" she asked in a small voice. "Fred seemed to think so, but I had no idea."
"I could deny that you did, but I'd be lying," he admitted. "You didn't even tell me goodbye, Hermione. After all we had been through, you-" he stopped talking and took a deep breath. "I felt like it meant nothing to you. Our history, our friendship…everything. These last five years, I've thought that you didn't care about any of it, and I guess when I saw you again, there was a natural reaction to believe that you still didn't."
"I cared, Ron," she whispered, her eyes filling up with tears. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving. Even on paper, I couldn't say goodbye. Not to you."
"You promised me you wouldn't leave, Hermione," Ron said, his voice rough. "I think out of everything, that's what hurt the most. You promised me you wouldn't go, but then you did. I know I was treating you horribly, and I'm so sorry about that, but I always believed that no matter what, we would eventually be okay." He paused before letting out a sad chuckle. "I was going to make things right, you know. The night you left, I was coming to find you to work it out. Only instead, I learned that you left for good." He shook his head. "As always, my timing was fucking horrible."
"We had never fought like that before," Hermione cried. "It was so awful. I felt like I was drowning, and I-" She reached up and wiped the tears that were falling freely from her cheeks. "Oh, Ron, I'm so sorry. When I left, I thought I was doing you a favor. I felt like you were repulsed by me. I thought you wanted me gone."
"Of course I wasn't repulsed by you, Hermione!" he exclaimed. "Hurt and angry, yes, but not repulsed. If anything, I was repulsed by myself because I thought I was to blame."
"It wasn't your fault," Hermione assured. "But even though I did leave to be with my parents, I'd be lying if I said that us fighting wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back."
Ron gave her a confused look, and she waved her hand dismissively. "It's a muggle saying. I mean that you being angry with me was the tipping point in me deciding to leave."
He nodded. "Why didn't you write? You wrote to Harry and Ginny for a while, but not me. They tried to hide the fact that they were talking to you, but I knew."
"I wrote to you, Ron. Numerous times. I was just never brave enough to send the letters. I always hoped you would write to me, but you never did."
"I guess we were both cowards," Ron said with a sad smile. "But listen, the past is-"
"The past for a reason," she finished.
They stared at each other and, after a moment, Ron opened his arms. Hermione let out a sound that was a mixture of a laugh and a sob before walking into them, sighing when he pulled her close. "That's enough past talk for today, okay?" he murmured. "I don't like seeing you like this."
It was as if no time had passed at all. At that moment, in his arms, Hermione felt more content than she had in years. Somehow, despite everything that had gone wrong between them, Ron Weasley was still her safe place.
"It's getting late," she said as she forced herself to step away from him, overwhelmed by her sudden realization. "I should probably head back to my flat. I don't like leaving Crookshanks at home by himself for too long."
"That bloody animal is still alive?"
"Alive, and doing wonderful," she said with a smirk.
"Of course," he chuckled. "Come on, I'll walk you to the fireplace. I should probably head home as well."
Discussion was light the entire way back. The sideways smiles that Ron kept shooting in her direction caused butterflies to erupt in her stomach, and Hermione couldn't wipe the silly grin that was on her own face.
When they made it back to the Burrow, she and Ron said their goodbyes to the few who hadn't gone home to their own places already. Mrs. Weasley made Hermione promise that she would visit often, and she was only too happy to agree. With Ron trailing behind her, Hermione finally made her way to the fireplace before turning around and facing him.
"Tonight was amazing," she said. "Really."
"It was alright, I guess," Ron teased.
Hermione stuck her tongue out at him. "So, I guess I'll see you at the hen/stag party a week from today?"
He nodded. "Yep. And then the big day on Saturday."
"It's going to be so amazing! Watching Harry and Ginny get married, I mean."
At her words, Ron's expression changed. It was almost as if he were studying her while trying to internally gauge something.
"What?" she asked, confused.
"Nothing," he said quickly, the strange expression disappearing. "Goodnight, Hermione."
"Goodnight, Ron," she replied. She took a handful of floo powder and was about to toss it down when Ron spoke again.
"Hermione! Wait!"
She paused. "Yes?"
"Monday's are always busy for me, but have lunch with me on Tuesday?"
Hermione smiled. "Is that a request or a demand?"
"It's whichever one will make you agree to have lunch with me on Tuesday."
She laughed. "I'd love to have lunch with you, Ron."
"Brilliant."