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A/n this is a tag to "Lo-Fi and Mayhem."
Reid couldn't sleep. The flight from New York was barely an hour, but he wanted to close his eyes and escape from the memory of gunshots, explosions, suicides, and – he swallowed hard, then cleared his throat to push back tears.
JJ.
It was too late. It had been too late since New Orleans, but he'd been in severe denial for months. He'd dreamed that JJ would realize that William LaMontagne wasn't the right one for her. Reid had fantasized that she'd show up at his door one stormy evening and tell him that she'd made a mistake and loved him. They'd make love to the sound of thunder and rain, and the following day that sun would return, and she'd say, "I'll always be here, Spence."
Again, he swallowed hard and turned to stare out of the window to his left. The sun stood high overhead, and the blue sky made him angry. How could it be so beautiful outside when he'd lost everything? JJ loved another man, she was pregnant with his child, and it was over forever.
The pilot came on and announced they were descending into DC. Spencer pulled down the window shade and forced himself to smile as he turned to face Morgan, who sat across from him.
"Hey," Morgan said. "You, okay?"
"Yeah, just thinking about Hotch and everything. You think he's alright."
"He'll be fine. The drive back will do him good."
"You talk to Garcia," Reid said because he could see that Morgan was about to ask him what was truly, bothering him.
"She's pissed at me, but I can handle it. She'll come around."
"She's right to be angry, man."
"Don't you start too?"
Reid smirked, and Morgan finally laughed. "Alright, it was reckless but necessary."
"You're right. There was no time for the bomb squad."
They were silent until the plane landed. Reid hurried off the plane, and by the time he'd made it home, he couldn't stop the tears.
CMCMCMCMCM
JJ entered her office early the following day with paperwork on her mind. She put down her bags and closed the door. She stopped in her tracks when she looked over at her desk. A single rose lay on top of the files in her inbox. It was a pink rose without thorns. When she went to pick up the flower, she noticed an envelope with familiar handwriting.
JJ opened the note, and it read:
JJ,
Congratulations. This rose is a chimera. It has no thorns and is safe for children. I know it will be months before your child is born, but I hope you'll enjoy this bloom on behalf of your baby.
Spence.
JJ picked up the rose and sniffed it as tears slid down her face. One of them fell on a petal of the rose, and she began to sob.
How had she arrived at this point? Why had she pushed Spence away so completely that it was too late for them?
She sat and stared at the beautiful thorn-less flower and wondered how she'd live her life without Spence's love. For sure, he must despise her for her weakness.
She wiped her eyes and forced herself to calm down. She didn't want to explain red eyes to Spence or the team.
JJ wished the rose had thorns so that she'd feel pain in her hands instead of in her heart. Had Spence known that she'd want physical pain, or had his choice been innocent like the life that grew inside her? The answer didn't matter. She would put her love for Spence into the child, and she'd love Will because he was kind and good and, he was Henry's father.
JJ pulled her compact out of her purse and set aside the flower. She'd fix her makeup and go to work. She'd take one day at a time, and soon she'd forget about the one she'd lost.