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A/n a tag to "Red Light and Wheels Up."
JJ hurried up the steps to Reid's apartment. He hadn't sounded like the Spence she knew when she'd spoken to him, and after dealing with Kat and Scratch – she knew he was struggling to readapt to life.
Reid's mother, Dianna, was there, and despite getting to know her, JJ wondered if she should go away and come back later. When she approached his door, her courage flagged a little. Perhaps she was intruding.
Finally, after standing there for an hour, she reached out and knocked on the door. When it opened, JJ nearly flinched. Reid stood there, and he had such a haunted expression. "Hi, Spence."
"JJ," he blew out a breath. "I didn't expect –"
"Yes, I know. I'm sorry I didn't call first. I wanted to see how you and your mom are after – "
"Come in," Reid said, gesturing inside.
JJ followed Reid into his living area. He picked up a scrapbook and put it on the coffee table. "Mom's been looking at this quite a bit for the last three days."
"I can understand why. We all missed you so much, Spence."
"I – I find myself waking up, and I'm surprised to see this apartment," Reid looked around as if seeing the walls around him for the first time. "Even now, with you here, I feel this sense of, "I must be dreaming," in my head."
"I get it, Spence," JJ said. "It's going to take time."
"I know, it's just frightening how quickly I became – institutionalized. JJ, I was there for less than ninety days. Do you know why it took me a minute to open the door? The same reason I stood there like a statue in the conference room the other night. I was waiting for someone to unlock the door. If I'd spent twenty-five years –"
"You didn't," JJ said and reached out her free hand to touch his arm. "You're here with your mom, and you're going to be fine. You're the strongest person I know, Spencer Reid."
'Oh, no, you called me by my full name. I must be in trouble."
JJ laughed and then smacked him lightly. "Don't make me cry."
"I'm sorry. Hey, I see you brought a gift" Reid gestured to the roses JJ held.
"Oh yeah, I nearly forgot about them."
"They're beautiful," Reid said as he took them from her. "Mom will love them. Blue is her favorite color."
"I know," JJ said as Reid went to his little kitchen area and found a vase.
"How? Oh, that's right. You spend so much time with mom. Thank you, JJ, for taking care of her."
"You don't have to thank me, Spence. Your mom is – quite special, and she makes me laugh, which I needed while you were gone."
Reid returned to the sofa and put the roses in the center of the coffee table. "There. Say, JJ, did you know that blue roses aren't naturally occurring. They are dyed blue. Like black roses, they represent mystery and illusion, and when given as a gift signify great favor."
"Then I chose well because you're our magic man, and I favor you and your mom highly."
"Thank you."
They were silent for a long time. It seemed to JJ that something had shifted in Reid that might never return, which made her sad. "Spence, is your mom alright?'
"Yes, she's sleeping. She does that a lot as it's part of her condition, but I think she'd be afraid to wake and come out here as she thinks I'll be gone again."
"I'm so sorry."
"Thanks, but all of this is my fault. I wanted to find a way to cure her or get rid of the worst of her symptoms. I should've listened to Dave when he told me to give it up and spend time with her. There are three months of our lives we'll never get back. How do I make it right with her?"
JJ wrapped an arm around him and hugged him tightly. "All you can do is go forward, Spence. I believe that somewhere inside her, Dianna understands."
"I hope so."
JJ sat up. "Well, I think I better get going. I need to run a few errands, and they are easier without the boys in tow."
Reid smiled, and it lit up his face. He was the old Spence again for an instant, and her heart sang. "I miss them so much."
"I hope I can bring them to see you and your mom when things calm down."
"Sure, we'll talk about it later."
Something entered Reid's eyes, and JJ wanted to ask about it but then decided to let him bring it up. She stood up and hugged him again. "See you later."
"Yes, very soon," Reid said as they parted at the door.