Worthy : Chapter 1
17-May-2022
Hermione's POV
(12, Grimmauld Place)
.
.
Silence
.
.
This is only thing that my brain could compute at the moment that everyone is
silent despite the presence of weaselys and that is very uncommon if you know
them. Sirius is here too and so is Tonks but still there is no sound. The
Weaselys , Sirius and Tonks all who have mastered the art of breaking the
silence without intention with their cheerful , chaotic personalities. Do they
realise that this is what is called silence? I never thought I could hate
silence so much as I am at the moment. I always appreciated the peace it
brought. But there is no peace accompanying it today. Why is everyone so
silent?! Alright now I am getting angry . I should deal this with calmness.
There must be a mistake. I must have heared wrong. This is Harry for Merlin
sake! He would never but looking at others... I should l..
" what did you say ?"
The question came out without a hint of anger and confusion that I am
suffering through at the moment. This was not how I imagined my visit to the
Grimmauld palace after my recovery to spent an afternoon with Harry and the
Weaselys would go. My honey coloured Amber eyes met emerald green.
" Hermione. I knew you would understand , for a moment I thought you would
curse me damm the underage law. The wizarding world is too dangerous at the
moment especially because of my connection with you. You already have a life in
muggle word or I would have asked Ron and Ginny to do the same" said boy is
neither looking at the speaker nor me and Ginny is finding her shoes a tad too
interesting as if she has gotten Cinderella's crystal shoe at the very moment.
Speaking of very moment , Harry is still speaking. "...you could live in the
muggle world and return when this all is over." He is brave I will give him
that or stupid or both which is more likely.
" Harry I was always on the Death eaters hit list , whether we are friends or
not because I am a muggleborn who beats each of their children in every magical
subject. I can bet, my O.W.L. score will only elivate my name on that list if
it hasn't already"
" Mione , listen to me I know what I am saying . I am sure we wil help you get
out of the country just till the war is over then I will bring you back. "
" And pray tell, why would I do that ?"
" As I said earlier ..." His talking is only making me angry.
"No stop. Just stop . I mean what makes you think I will do as you say." That
brought every pair of eyes in the room on me some surprised , some even
indignant some even with respect . Of course Professor Snape would respect me
albeitly grudgingly for questioning Harry rather than for my top scores in
potion.
Harry looks like he wasn't sure what to answer. I guess he doesn't actually
because people follow him whether they believe him or not atleast the people on
the light side because of the boy-who-lived and all. He wants to be seen as
just Harry but does he knows he have to give away certain previllages that
comes with it too. I guess he didn't untill now...
" What about the rest of you , do you also think I should leave the wizarding
world for the time being because I am muggleborn." Ah! Here is where the anger
showed itself." Don't be shy, do the rest of you have also decided what I
should and shouldn't. Do tell. You know I never thought the death eaters and
order will agree on something. Good to know I can be wrong." It seems Professor
Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall do not like where this is going. Here it
goes..
" Miss Granger that was uncalled for . You know I would never support any of
what they are saying and least of all because of you being a muggleborn". Then
why are you letting him say all that but I just raise my eyebrows instead.
It seems Professor Dumbledore read the question in my eyes or from my brain
"Miss Granger, this is between you and Harry" I nearly laughed at that. Between
me and Harry then why is my three Professor , whole weaselys , moody , Tonks
shacklebolt, Remus and Sirius are all witnessing this as my farewell party as
if my decission is already made.
They all seemed shock I guess I said the last part aloud.
"Hermione, It's your right to be here a much it's Harry's. I for one am here
to witness your hexes after hearing so much about them. " Alright atleast Tonks
seem sensible.
"Me too." This came from the Remus , twins and surprisingly Sirius. Ginny
seems like she wants to say something but won't.
Amazing, isn't it? One of my best friend wants me gone and other is showing
more loyalty to him than me. I guess ex-crush-turn-plantonic-frendship comes
above best friends now. And Ron well he is Ron so no help against Harry.
"Mione please.." please what not to hex ...well I guess he realised what he
is asking "I promise to come and get you as soon as the war is over." I guess
it was too much to expect him to realise. Does he not know what he is asking or
rather commanding me to do... So I asked
" Do you realise what exactly are you asking me to do? Are you even listening
to what you are proposing. To leave my life of past five years, my birth right
, Hogwarts, my friends, the Weaselys , professor , Hagrid , Ginny and you...
all of you here not knowing what will happen to any of you. You want me to run
away like a coward with tail between my legs. Well neither do I have a tail nor
I am a coward" Don't cry ,not here , Not in front of all of them they will only
think of you as weak or weaker than the already think of me. I keep telling my
self that. I won't cry.
" Mione no one thinks of you as coward. You are..." I stop hearing what he
says next . Am I so easily replaceble that they won't notice my presence in
their life.
"Won't you miss me ?" I asked abruptly My eyes are burning and so are his. I
won't cry though .
" Of coarse I will. How could you think I won't ? " his voice is hoarse .
" As you think I will leave " I answered uninterestingly.
" Stop being stubborn Hermione. You were already hurt once because of me. Not
again. Never again. I will miss you but if this keeps you safe then it's worth
it." He took hold of my hand and is looking at me in my eyes. Never seen his
beautiful eyes so intense and imploring before. I really should stop listening
to my mum discussing her romance novels, I noted absently. Beautiful eyes
indeed asking me to leave him. One thing is certain he is serious about this
and he is as stubborn as me just without sense. There is only me agreeing here
that will stop him...
"Okay." They all looked shock even Harry . Atleast they thought I would not
agree . That's something.
"What.." I think I breaked him. If he thought I won't agree than why even try.
"I will agree to what you asked me when have I not." Is that pain in his eyes
or am I imagining it. He smiles. Definitely imagined.
" Hermione don't ..." I raise my hand to stop Tonks, she wanted a show , I
will give her one. Her hairs turns dull brown. Atleast she will miss me.
" As I said I will agree. But.." All of them seem interested now , even
Professor Snape. Well the hat did say I could do well in any house especially
Slytherin. They do theme to make things interesting "I have three conditions.
You will have five minutes to fullfill them."
"Anything " he breathed. My my! aren't we eager?
" Since I am leaving Britain's wizarding world , I won't enter any other. I
would like to live as muggle. So I would like if you no. 1 bind my magic , no.2
break my wand and no.3 obliviate my memory of past five years. " He leave my
hand he was holding.
"What " I don't know who asked me that but that is something that they all are
thinking.I think I broke the record of shocking people in a day or something.
Even Professor Dumbledore seem shocked.
" Harry , Miss Granger . This is enough you both are stressed and angry
respectively and not thinking straight. You both should calm down and talk
later about this."
" No" They all should stop starring at me like they haven't seen me before. "
I gave my words professor. I won't step back now." This seem to bring Harry
back from shock.
" Mione, why are you making it difficult."
" Harry, you said anything. Do not step back now. I am not asking this to make
it all difficult instead this is so that I can keep my words to you Harry." You
are not the only one who can manipulate Harry. You shouldn't have used our
friendship like this. "I am curious by nature Harry. Do you really think I will
be able to live my life in muggle world knowing that you all are fighting a
dangerous war. No knowing who is alive and who is dead. I am not that person
Harry. And when you will return to take you can undo the bind and oblivation
and I can buy a new wand. "
"Their is no war at the moment and you all are children .." well Mrs Weasely
did stop when rest of the people in the room gave her the look except Harry and
me. We are still staring at each other. She realy should stop pretending that
everything is fine. Because if their is no war and us children are not concerned
then why is she living here under a fidelius charm rather than at the burrow
with her kids.
"Okay" This is what I asked him, didn't I? Then why does my heart feels so
empty and it Hurts to breathe. "Professor Dumbledore if you ..." Harry asked or
atleast tried to ask , said professor expression said that Favourite or not he
is not getting what he wants or rather I want .
"There is no need of Professor Dumbledore, Harry." My sentence seemed to bring
several sigh of relief." Because I want you to do it." Everyone seems to tense
up. The tension in the room is way too high.
"Are you out of your mind Mione. You are the genius not me . I could hurt you
seriously." May be I am out of my mind after all I did agree to his request.
And hurt well he already did hurt me and I told him as much. I think he didn't
like what I told him though.
"That was not my intention mione . You know you are very important to me " he
said softly. Well I have no interest in his intentions at the moment and my
importance in his life does seem clear when he made the request.
"Do not step back now Harry . Your time limit starts now. Five minutes Harry.
For our friendship I am giving you five minutes to makes decision in my life by
going though my conditions and making me leave or not . This is a very special
previllage Harry , I have never given anyone this right before, not even my
parents do that, since I was able to make my choice. I like being independent
and make my own choice be it good or bad." I read my watch "4 minutes 30
seconds left Harry."
He step forward lift his wand arm shakely. I held his arm and helped him by
positioning his wand on my heart. I swallow thickly before replying.
"Good." It seem not everyone thinks so.
" What good ! And you Harry do you know that there are chances that
obliviation and binding cannot be reversed and someone who has not done this
before can harm your magic and mind. And you know this mione , you yourself
told me this after the world cup disaster." Ginny did said something at last.
And Harry is looking at me as if I betrayed him by not telling him. Like really
Harry, you have got to be kidding me. Shouldn't I be angry and hurt rather than
other way round. And everyone is agreeing now and ready to intervene.
" Your concerns are duely noted Miss Weasely and Harry is informed now." I
said dismisively. Ginny seem hurt either by my speaking formally to her or
dismissing her concern I don't know. I just want to know what Harry will do. So
I stop any further intervention . " You all had chance to speak , but none of
you did . Now don't intervene. You can leave if you want though I would love it
if you stay to give me a proper goodbye." I told them cheerfully. They all
seemed ashamed. Good. Ron and Ginny seem pale. They all do.
"You are angry."
"Well done! an astute observation!" I answered sarcastically.
"Her.."
" 3 minutes Harry."
" Why me mione ? Don't you want to come back safely."
He wants to know why well I will tell him why. " Come back . Do comming back
matters if I don't want to go anywhere in the first place . And why you. Who
else Harry beside it was your Idea in the first place. I want you to look at me
in the eyes and show me that you can perform the spell. Make me proud, won't
you? I want to know how strong that five years of friendship is. I want it to
be you so that I always remember when you return my memory that how much I can
depend on you, How important I am. How mush easy it is for you to feel my magic
die or locked up ,how easy it is for you to go through all my happy
irreplaceable memories and lock them up , destroy them from my conscious. I
want to see you break my wand like it is a useless peace of wood for you rather
than a wand that is a symbol, a proof of mine belonging here in wizarding
world." I want to know How easily replaceble I am in your life , How you could
live with destroying my life here." Beside I trust you to perform it well. The
incantation for binding the magic isligare magica with rolling your wand
clockwise, for obliviate the incantation is obliviate with a flick of your wrist
and I'm sure you know how to break a piece of wood. Do bind my magic before
breaking my wand so that I don't subconsciously attack you and do break my wand
before obliviation so that I know what I am giving up."
Now he know its a test of our friendship or whats left of it. " You hate me."
He seem like he will cry any minute.
"2 minutes." I reminds him. A tear run downs his cheek. I hate making him cry
because Harry never cries not even when facing voldemort. I hate myself for it.
And I hate him for making me do it. I want to wipe his tear but I won't. That
should be done by someone who is there for him , someone who he wants to have
with him.
He practice the incantations with utmost focus.
1 minute.
He nods when he is ready and takes his position. I return his nod and erect
the most powerful shield around the two of us that even Professor Dumbledore
may need a minute to break.
"My own creation" I answer his question before he can ask.
His wand arm trembles.
Let see what you do Harry. Will our friendship survive your betrayal Harry ?
"30 seconds."
Everyone is trying to break my shield. They forgot I am called brightest witch
of my age for a reason.
"10 seconds." Tik tok Tik tok
5 seconds
4 seconds
3 seconds
"ligare ma..." My wand vibrate.
"Expelliarmus. " I disarmed Harry. " Time up." I drop the shield around us.
He almost finished the spell. He almost bound my magic. He standing just in
front of me but he seems so far. I thought I knew you the most. Everyone
thought so to. Who are you Harry? Where is my Harry or was it ever mine ?
We are both breathing heavily. He is looking scared like he did something
wrong. He finally realise what he was about to do. What he almost did. He took
a step towards me shakely, I took one back . He stops. Everyone realise what
was almost done here. Mrs Weasely and Ginny are crying. Perhaps of relief that
they won't have to answer my parents.
And here it is again the silence . I really hate it at the moment with a
passion. The silence between me and Harry was always accompanied with peace and
calmness. This is not but then again many things are not the same as before. I
almost lost my magic today. The magic which brought us together in the first
place.
My heart hurt, its difficult to breathe, my eyes are burning and my throat is
tight. I feel like crying. I want to cry. I won't not here where no one has
ever seen me doingcso before . Not here where no one cares. I turn towards the
door to the corridor which leads to the exit door. " My parents must be
waiting. Owl me if you require my presence professor." I answered with calmness
that I didn't felt. I made my exit before anyone could stop me. I don't know
how long I can stop myself from crying. I moved fastly, foot steps following me
down the corridor. Mrs Black portrait was removed during renovation I notice
absently. I exit the main door and reach my dad's old motorcycle I learned to
drive during last Easter break. I sat on it , started it and drove my way home
ignoring the people calling my name behind me.
I reached my home and my room and cried . Why? I don't know or maybe I do. I
am angry with myself , with others , disappointed that I believed them to be my
friends. I feel hurt and many more myriad of emotions I am too exhausted to
understand and so I fell into a fitful sleep.