Authors notes: And there we go, another story. I know I said that I'd stop, progress all the other stories, but I couldn't resist the urg of making an absolute absurdity of another story.
note, I do not own worm, wildbow does, I only own the OC bird.
WARNING: THIS STORY IS FULL OF SWEDISH SWEARING BIRDS, QUITE POSSIBLY SOME GORE, AND SWEDISH INSULTS TOWARDS SOME OF YOUR MOST CHERISHED CHARACTERS, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
A super powered... Crow?
1.1
One of the many routines that I had adopted in my life is sleeping in late, as I worked the nightshift... but there is one thing that I want to make clear... that's all I remember.
No name, no family, nor friends, and finally... wait that routine wasn't the only thing I remembered, there was... I think... a web serial called worm... but all there is... is all fogged out for some reason. It's like certain information was locked off to me until I had the necessary keys or something.
But anyways I woke up, finding it the dead of night... and found myself on top of a rooftop. Ignoring the all-powerful headache that just rained down upon me, I took in my surroundings. That was when I realized that everything was larger in proportion to myself. I proceeded to rub my forehead... to find that my arm was covered in black feathers and was shaped like a... wing?
'Ok... I guess that's new...' I thought... before realizing that my arm wasn't supposed to be that way. I also noticed that my mouth was elongated. I then looked to my legs, just to see a feathery chest... no reproductive organs that were visible, as they were most likely covered by feathers.
Now... the question was, do I even remember my gender? Because if I remember a simple fact about crows, as for some reason I still retained the many random factoids I had got from the world wide web. Crows, male and female, are all identical in appearance, as the only way to tell was the size of the bird, the sound of the bird, and the behavior of the bird... I think I can speak for everyone here, that last one is not going to apply to me... whatsoever.
Now finding myself as one of the smartest birds in the bird family, I decide to look around, walking, or rather, hop around as I had found it to be comfortable. As I hopped to the edge of the rooftop, I noticed there was a bit of commotion across the street. There was a group of people, clad in red and green, and appeared to be of Asian descent. But they were all huddled around a big mother fucker, like big-big. He was shirtless, but thankfully he had the decency to wear some pants and a mask, to cover an ugly mug of a face that was (maybe) under that mask. But on the roof behind the group of Asians, I saw something move in the shadows, as my eyesight was terrible in the dark. I think it was a costumed teenager, cosplaying as a superhero or anti-hero or something. Their gender was unidentifiable to me... before everything suddenly kicked in.
It was at this moment that I realized where exactly I was. I wasn't just a crow that woke up in the dark of night. I didn't just wake up on top of a building as a bird. I didn't just wake up to find myself in a city with no familiar landmarks. I didn't just wake up to a blatant set up for a superhero and villain fight... I woke up to find myself in the world of worm.
'Oh fuck! I'M DEAD! I'M DEAD! I'M DEAD! I'M DEAD! I'M DEAD! I'M DEAD! I'M DEAD! I'M DEAD! I'M DEAD! I'M DEAD! I'M DEAD! I'M DEAD! I'M DEAD! I'M DEAD! I'M DEAD!' I mentally screamed as I hopped around the rooftop, cawing like crazy. The reason behind this was quite simple: worm was host to many deadly and dangerous things and people.
These range from: Mr. Jesus icon, blatant serial killer given powers, miss biblical angel of death, lava brother of death, Godzilla's thrice removed cousin, neo-Nazis, the illuminati but with superpowers, bug goddess, time trickster, a James bond villain, an emotionally unstable teenage girl with the ability to manipulate bio-matter. And that is only the top of the list. 'Though, at least Mr. Jesus icon will spare me, when he goes on his temper tantrum against the human ra-' I stopped that thought process as my mind focused on one teeny tiny... itty bitty problem with that... the entities blew up the planets of the host species that lived on that planet, meaning that I... will still be utterly FUCKED!
And let's not forget the fact that I am a normal ass crow now, I can't do anything. But it was by that point I started sputtering random words of nonsense, to the point that I didn't even realize that I was a talking crow... looking back on it, I don't really know just how I didn't know how I didn't realize it but hey, let's just agree to disagree that I was in a state of panic.
Of course, me panicking also dragged in unwanted attention, as I heard the big tuff Asian man, who I now knew as Lung, ordered one of his men to investigate the loud sputtering noises. Next thing I knew, I was grabbed by the scruff of my neck by an ugly mother fucker. Like, so ugly, that he probably had to pay someone to give him compliments, and even then, the amount of money he pays for those compliments are in the thousands of bucks.
I was then brought to the head of the group, as I was silent all the way. As I was brought closer to the tough, burly man, I then noticed the many tattoos on the half-naked man.
The gang lord then spoke, in a thick Asian accent, "So, is s the unwanted guest?" he asked his men.
He then grabbed me by the neck, choking me. "Speak, Cape!" he ordered.
It was then I decided was the best moment to be a smart ass and speak in Swedish.
"Hardare Far!" I squeaked out as he chocked me. I don't know if the man spoke Swedish or not, but I swear to Odin, that these were his exact words.
"You dare insult me!" he questioned, as his grip had tightened. "I AM LUNG, AND YOU DARE INSULT ME!" he yelled.
I then decided to be even more of a smart ass, continued speaking... in Swedish.
"Det sa inte vad din mamma sa igar kvall!" I squawked. You're probably thinking: 'Why are you challenging the rage dragon and trash talking him?'
Well, the answer is simple...
I didn't realize I was pissing the dragon off, as he was choking me, causing me to lose oxygen that was required for a functioning brain.
Now, after being through the pandemic, my oxygen level to my brain had been in decline, with that being the case, low oxygen brain me... doesn't make the wisest decisions. An extremely deprived oxygen me... makes the dumbest choices known to man. An extremely oxygen deprived me that was turned into a crow? Those decisions are made by an absolute god of mischief.
"WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT MY MOTHER!" he yelled throwing me against the building, one of which was where the bug goddess on top of.
Now, I expected to die from the impact of colliding with the building... but I somehow lived... but that was not all, as I had punched through the wall of the building... I think it was a warehouse. As I bounced across the concrete floor, I took notice, that not a single bone was broken... nor was I bleeding... odd.
I got up and noticed that the hole that I broke through... was gigantic... very odd. But standing there was the rage dragon... who just suddenly dashed towards me.
I then decided that it was the wisest discission to make a run for it, and by run for it, I mean fly like the wind.
"KNULLA! KNULLA! KNULLA! KNULLA! KNULLA! KNULLA! KNULLA!" I swore in Swedish as I frantically flapped my wings. As I became airborne, I had just barely escaped the Firey hands of the dragon.
As I flew, flapping my wings, I exited the building through the hole that I had created. I then noticed that there were clouds of smoke, swarming the gangsters. I took it as a sign that the bug goddess was indeed helping me.
"Ah tack bug gudinnan!" I continued speaking in Swedish. However, I was not so lucky, as Lung had grabbed my body.
'OH, FUCK ME!' I mentally swore, as I felt the fire burning hands gripping me, keeping my wings close to my body, preventing me from flying away.
"I ILL KI OU!" the dragon yelled, as he oriented me to face him, as he was already on fire.
It was then... that I felt my body change, as if my body was changing its element. Not like fire, or water, or air, or earth... no. Like the elements from the periodic table. My body changed to a metal like surface, and it was by that moment that Lung felt being pulled down as he began to struggle to hold me in one arm. But alas, he was fighting against gravity, a mighty foe that no one can beat.
He then fell over, the mighty lung, challenger of leviathan, survivor of Kyushu, and Taylor's bitch, fell trying to hold a bird. Though looking back on it, I think the element that I shifted to at the time, may have been extremely toxic as it didn't occur naturally in the universe. I just summed it up to crazy shard nonsense... but I wish that was the case... You'll find out later in the future.
Walking away from the dragon, I hopped to the outside world. I then noticed that when I got outside, the gangsters were either gone or on the floor as they were attacked by bugs and passed out. But that seemed to have happened earlier when I was grabbed by the dragon. So, I decided to greet my savior, by flying up to them.
So, flapping my wings to the top of the building, I landed on the rooftop. I saw her then and there, in all of her bug goddess glory. Now you're probably thinking: 'Why is he referring to Taylor as the bug goddess?' well its simple really.
She controls bugs, and crows eat bugs... I think if I can get on her good side, she'd feed me some of her bugs. But focusing on the moment, I greeted her.
"THANK YOU SO MUCH BUG GODDESS!" I greeted flapping towards her, landing right next to her legs and proceeded to hug one of them. Luckily, I decided to shift back to normal, otherwise bad things would've happened.
"Oh my god, it's an actual talking crow... with powers." was her only reaction. I then backed up and proceeded to introduce myself.
"Hello there, could you be kind and feed me a bug, please? I haven't had anything to snack on yet." I pleaded to her as if she was a goddess. I looked up to the masked individual, pleadingly.
I then heard her whisper to herself, saying "Of course they want bugs to eat" while she just face palmed.
Then I heard something hop on the rooftop with a thud. Turning to face the source, I noticed that there were big hulking doggos.
"DOGGOS! OhmygodtheirallsocooteIwishIcouldpetthembutIonlyhavewingswhydoesthishavetobethisway!" I spoke incredibly fast
"Wow... I can't believe there's a talking crow... standing right before us... and complimenting Bitch's dogs as well... I think." said a white masked individual. I then glared at the white costumed man.
I then insulted the young man, in Swedish. "Titta pa en talande kuk!" I insulted the boy. He then looked startled.
"Ok, the talking crow can speak in Swedish... and I can somehow understand his Swedish... wait you just insulted me!" he yelled as he got off the doggo, and approached, but then he was stopped by a chuckling woman clad in purple.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you. That bird just took out lung... somehow. And his power isn't just insulting you in Swedish. And making you understand him when his insult is directed towards you. Luckily for everyone here, I took a class in speaking in Swedish." the young woman explained. She appeared to have blond hair, she had a mask like the Incredibles, and she walked around like she knew everything.
But with her explanation right there, I then understood why Lung understood me when I was insulting him in Swedish.
"Oh, that explains why I made mister half naked all the time angry, he could understand what I was saying." I spoke my mind out loud. The black shadowy man then approached the two of us, staring at me.
"I'm guessing he's your pet or something." he asked the bug goddess.
"Ummm..." she said as she stared at me in response.
I decided right then and there that I would speak for her. "Yes, I am her pet, mister shadow man." I spoke, getting a stare from the emotionless mask that was the bug goddess.
"And when was that decided?" she asked, quite possibly glaring at me.
"Why right now of course. I mean, having the master of bugs and arthropods, a source of food for crows, is a great opportunity for food. Plus, how you aided in saving me from those gangsters by providing a good distraction, I am at your service." I said praising her, as I did the bird equivalent of bowing.
"Well, I'm Grue, that's Tattletale, that's Bitch, though the Protectorate calls her Hellhound, and finally we have Regent. We're the undersiders. And you might be?" Grue then asked bug goddess.
Bug goddess then looked nervous, and then said, "I haven't thought on a name just yet." she said, looking away.
Then I heard a motorcycle in the distance, to which the undersiders took that as a sign to book it. They had offered to let bug goddess a ride, to which she declined of course.
Later, when Armsmaster finally arrived, probably checking on Lung for a bit. By this point I believe I heard him sighing and whispering to himself.
"Great... Lungs dead... and whoever did it is still out there..." before approaching the ladder to the building. As he climbed up the ladder, I decided whether to act like a normal crow or not. But I decided that coming out, as a talking crow would be of no problem for the man.
He then gazed upon bug goddess, and then spoke.
"Hero... or villain?" he said, Rasing his Halberd upwards.
"Hero..." bug goddess spoke up.
"Thats not what Lungs body says." the stubborn man said. I then glared at him before speaking my mind.
"Hey, I was the one who knocked the dragon out by shifting to an undiscovered element that doesn't occur naturally in the universe! She only took care of the gangsters with the bugs!" I yelled hopping towards the man.
He then looked at me, almost as if he was surprised.
"You're the one behind killing Lung? And the giant hole that's been punched through the warehouse... was caused by you?" he asked, staring at me through the lenses of his visor.
"The giant hole... yes. Killing the dragon man? I... guess I didn't mean to kill him... I didn't realize that I killed the man..." I started breaking down, as I stared at the ground.
I had killed a man by accident... and I didn't even realize that I killed him. I felt shocked that I killed someone, but how should I feel towards this... I have no idea.
Then Armsmaster proceeded to faint, as he fell backwards. That was... surprisingly new, what with him falling over. Either he was shocked by the fact that he didn't have a shot at proving himself to his superiors or was shocked by the fact that Lung was killed by a bird on accident, and that bird just happened to talk. Either way, it was kind of hilarious.
"Well... the first man of science that I get to meet... faints at the mere thought of speaking to me. Well, that's a new record!" I opened my mouth... er... beak.
That was when I got a stare from bug goddess, as if saying not at this moment.
I wonder how things will pan out from here on out... probably ice cream and rainbows from here on out!
Authors notes: And there, now the crow is now out of the bag, feedback is appreciated, and I want to hear suggestions of what I should name the main character, and I am thinking of Loki, because of the swearing in Swedish, but I want to hear what you guys think.