The seven days after Hermione's world came to a crashing halt and her heart had been ripped from her chest were truly the worst of her life. That was the exact reason she had never bothered to get involved in romantic relationships in the first place. Nothing lasts forever and one if not both people are left completely and utterly destroyed. After her Professor left her standing in the hallway, she tucked herself away in her bedroom for the better part of the week. She didn't go to her classes, didn't show up to TA or her office appointments, and made Luna tell Andy she wouldn't be at work for a while. She just couldn't bear the thought of seeing Andy or anyone right now. Ginny and Draco had both tried numerous times to get her to come out of her room that first week but she refused to even talk to them about what had happened. She only came out to use the bathroom or to get food and drinks when Ginny was out of the apartment. Hermione wasn't proud of herself but she had made several phone calls to her Professor in hopes that she would answer. Bella must have had her phone off because every call went straight to voicemail.
Hermione was determined to return to her normal self the next week. She gave herself one week to be lost in her own feelings but she needed to finish out the semester and help the Art History students pass their exam. "Do you want to talk about it?" Draco has asked her the following Monday morning when Hermione finally emerged from her hiding hole and met him at the coffee cart before class. She shook her head no and he let it go and handed her an iced coffee. They walked in silence the rest of the way to their Museums Studies class. Knowing it wouldn't be Bella behind the desk made Hermione deflate a little but was also a bit of reprieve until she saw the Dean sitting in Bella's spot. Disgust was the only feeling she had now. The older woman looked up as they took their seats and smiled at them. "Ms. Granger. Come here please," Hermione rolled her eyes but went over to the desk. "I appreciate you coming back to class today and I understand that things may seem unfair right now but you must understand rules and rules for a reason. I won't tolerate you skipping work or classes after today. Do I make myself clear?"
"As crystal," came the tight lipped reply.
"Good. Professor Black let me know that she emailed the outline for the last two weeks of the semester. I have also asked her to copy me on any emails that she sends to you." Hermione was trying hard to control her face as the Dean continued to talk at her. "Is there a problem, Ms. Granger?"
"No. May I return to my seat now, ma'am?" When the Dean dismissed her she walked back to her desk and opened up her laptop willing herself not to show any emotions. She leaned over and whispered to Draco, "do you think I could do jail time?"
"No."
"Fair enough," she wiped away a single tear and opened her email to find the one from Professor Black that the Dean was talking about. She gulped when she opened it up and saw Minerva was copied on the message. Her heart broke at the first and only communication she received from her former lover.
Ms. Granger,
Thank you for stepping up and taking on the responsibility of seeing the Art History 1 students through to the end of the course. I have attached the lesson plans for the remaining two weeks, along with the final exam. I trust you to keep the exam in confidence. After everything has been graded, send the grades to me so I can finalize everything in the system.
Best Wishes,
Professor Black
Professional, impersonal and cold were the words to describe that email. Hermione wondered if the Dean hadn't been copied on the email, would the contents have been different. Probably not. "I don't think I can do this today," she looked at Draco trying to wrench the tears back. "Look," she turned the screen to him so he could read the message.
"I haven't spoken to her since she left but from what mom tells me, she's not fairing much better if that offers you any sort of ease."
Hermione should feel better by that statement but she doesn't. She doesn't want Bella to feel anywhere near as crumby as she does right now. Having a broken heart isn't anything she'd wish on someone she cared for. "No," she shook her head, "it doesn't." The thing Hermione was having such a hard time wrapping her head around was how Bella just left. She spent months pursuing her and telling her how the rules don't matter and don't apply to her. Then just like that, she was off on an a plane to be anywhere but here. She just needed to know what happened after she was asked to leave the dean's office. Something set Bella off and she was desperate to know what it was. Hermione wasn't fool enough to believe that the older woman could just instantaneously shut her feelings off. She wasn't sure when or if she would get the opportunity to talk to Bella again but she wasn't giving up hope.
"All right class," the Dean stood, "Professor Black has been called away for the rest of the semester to prepare for her next exhibit opening and I've been tasked to fill the role for the next two weeks to see you through the final exam. Let's see where we've left off," she powered up the smart board and turned on the powerpoint presentation prepared by Bella. Hermione fell into a zombie-like trance. She was in the class physically but her mind was far from present during that lecture.
The two weeks had flown by and as suspected the only communication she received from Bella were the professional emails that the Dean was privy to.
Her finals went on as expected and she got high marks on everything. She was called out by the Dean when she was leaving Museum Studies after she turned her final exam in. "I noticed that you didn't sign up for Museum Studies 2."
"Well spotted."
"Is it no longer your aspiration to be a museum curator?" The Dean was not amused by her cheek.
"It is but I only need Museum Studies 1 for that career path and I'd rather not have another class with Professor Black next semester. I'll be assigned as a TA to a different professor so I'd rather just have a clean break come next semester." The Dean nodded but didn't speak. "I didn't realize it was your duty to monitor each student's projected schedules. Clearly, you take it upon yourself to get involved in students' personal relationships," the Dean looked like she was about to interject. "But I must be going now. One more class and I'll be off for the holidays. In case you were keeping up on my personal endeavors, I may be seeing Professor Black over Christmas but I can assure you it won't be enjoyable for either of us," Hermione turned on her heel and left the classroom with her head held high.
After the Art History 1 final, she went to her office to have some space to grade the tests. She was pleasantly surprised with the final outcome. Everyone passed and most of the students had high marks including Harry and Ginny so she felt a sense of pride in her abilities to prepare the students. There was a knock at the door and Hermione looked confused as most everyone had already left for break, "come in."
"Hi," the soft voice of Andy filled the room. "May I come in?" Hermione nodded and Andy walked in and took a seat. "You haven't been at work in a couple of weeks and I know why but I just wanted to let you know that I missed you and I don't think I'll be able to take much more of just me and Luna. Are you planning on coming back next semester?" Hermione shrugged, "the books miss you as well."
Hermione let a little smile out, "did they tell you that?"
"I hear them weeping at night when it's just me and them. They can't stand you not being there."
"I highly doubt that," Hermione laughed, "but your efforts won't go unheard. I do plan to resume my duties in the new year. I just needed a break. And honestly?" Andy nodded. "It's kind of hard to look at you right now."
"Fucking genetics."
"I'm sorry," Hermione grimaced.
"I get it," Andy waved her off. "We've been told our whole lives that we have very similar looks so no ill feelings there. Do you want me to leave?"
"No," Hermione looked a little sad. "I've missed you."
"Christmas is in a couple of days. Are you coming to Cissy's?" Hermione looked sad and shook her head no. "Christmas won't be the same without you."
"I don't think I can do it. Ginny offered for me to come over hers and I might take her up on it."
"Might?"
"Well that or I'll just stay around campus. It's no big deal. You know holidays aren't important to me."
"Are you kidding me? You love Christmas and I won't hear otherwise. Aren't you the one who insisted on two trees this year?"
"Like I said. Holidays aren't a big deal for me. Not since…"
"I know," Andy reached across the desk and grabbed the brunette's hand. "I just hope you'll at least come over for Christmas Eve. Please don't let Bella be the reason you miss out on our traditions. You know you are family to us, right?" Andy stood and started walking to the door, "I best be off. I'm going to Dora's tonight. I think we've all convinced her to come to Christmas this year. I'm pretty excited about it actually."
"Has Bella said anything about me?" Hermione asked quietly when Andy got to the door.
"No," Andy frowned. "My sister has never been the one to open up to us about anything. She just got back into town yesterday. She refused to come over though so I'm not sure she's fairing much better than you, love."
"I'll think about Christmas."
Andy smiled and nodded before leaving the office and Hermione just sadly shook her head and decided on one last ditch effort to get Bella's attention.
Hermione(7:15pm): I know you are back in London and I know you turned your read receipts off. I just wanted you to know that I probably won't be coming to Cissy's this holiday so Christmas should be enjoyable for you. I'm also not registered for your class this upcoming semester. And I wanted to thank you for the exhibit opportunity but I'm going to pass on that as well. I'll get my chance some other way.
She turned her phone off for the night not wanting to wait around for the response she knew she wouldn't get from the older woman. She finished grading the exams and sent an email to Professor Black along with the Dean.
Professor Black,
Here are the grades from the final exam. I put them in a spreadsheet so it'll be easier for you to upload them into the system. Art History 1 has been a pleasure.
Best wishes,
Ms. Granger
"I can be professional as well," she scoffed thinking about the text she had sent less than fifteen minutes ago. "No time to dwell," she packed up her belongings and shut the door to her office for the last time that semester.
Hermione spent the next few days alone in her apartment catching up on her fun reading, watching Netflix and eating a load of junk food. She got a message from Ginny asking if she was coming over to Christmas and she politely declined the offer unless something went utterly wrong tonight. If that was the case, Ginny said the offer doesn't expire. Hermione had planned to show up at Cissy's tonight for Christmas Eve because honestly it would be weird for her if she didn't go. She hoped that if she had the opportunity to speak with Bella in person maybe she could at least understand what happened in her meeting with the Dean. As she expected, her Professor never returned her text message though she was sure that it was read. It wasn't her intention to lure Bella into a false sense of security but she was desperate to see her and she felt that if Bella thought that she was going to show up then she wouldn't come. "Fuck it," she walked into her bathroom and started the shower. She was meant to be at dinner in an hour but there was this feeling she had in her gut that was preventing her from fully committing to going. She didn't want to miss out on the Christmas traditions. Cissy, Andy and Draco had made her part of the family and she couldn't not show up because of a girl.
Cissy normally had fancy dinners but Christmas Eve was the exception. They made frozen pizzas and had a massive variety of snacks. She would make them all wear matching pajamas and they would sit around and watch Christmas specials on the television. This has been the tradition for the last four years after Cissy kicked Draco's father out of the house when he refused to accept Draco's sexuality and his profession. They were better off without that scumbag. At least that's what Andy and Hermione had thought. She quickly got dressed putting on a pair of leggings and a Christmas jumper and packed a small overnight bag. "Good enough," she threw her hair up into a top knot and left the apartment when she got a notification that her Uber had arrived.
The Uber pulled up in front of Malfoy Manor at 7:13. "Thank you. It's been lovely. Happy Christmas," Hermione said to her driver and she got out of the car.
Draco opened the door and met her outside. "You are late," he embraced his friend.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't sure I was coming."
"We all understand," he said, taking her overnight bag and draping it over his shoulder. "Mom has your pajamas waiting for you upstairs."
"Little moose?" She eyed her friend up and down with a smirk. He was wearing a pair of button down flannel pajamas with little moose and trees all over them. "Adorable," she reached out and pinched his cheek.
"You'll be wearing the same thing momentarily. Don't celebrate too hard." He grimaced when she pulled out her phone and snapped a picture.
"But you look so cute. I'll send this to Harry, obviously."
"No," Draco begged. "What he doesn't know won't hurt me." Hermione laughed but stopped when they made it just inside the door. "She's not here."
"Oh," she tried to hide her disappointment.
"I think she's coming later. Some sort of hold up or mishap at the museum."
"She's working on Christmas Eve?"
"Honestly I'm surprised she took any time off at all. She's been very stressed and it's been really annoying," Draco rolled his eyes and then whispered. "She's been pretty scary, actually."
"Great," Hermione said as they ascended the stairs to her designated room. He let her in and put her bag on the chair. "I'll just get dressed then."
"Brilliant. I'll let mom and Aunt Andy know you are here," he turned to leave. "Oh Dora is here. You should've been here to see them trying to get her to agree to wear the pajamas. It made the whole holiday worth it."
Hermione changed into her pajamas and checked her phone one last time before leaving it in the room as that was a part of Narcissa's unplugged Christmas Eve and it's not like she had any family to text her tonight. She walked down the stairs and was making her way around the corner when she accidentally ran right into someone coming into the door not paying attention. Hands reached out and steadied her. "Sorry," she said, looking up and freezing when she realized who had caught her. She was standing inches from her former lover. Bella was standing there still holding onto her arms. Her cheeks were pink and Hermione couldn't be sure if it was from the cold or the closeness of the situation. Hermione cleared her throat and looked away first, "hi."
Bella stiffened and dropped her arms, "hi," she parroted back. "Were you headed in there?" Hermione looked down at her pajamas and nodded. "Great," her voice came out a little higher pitched than normal. "After you."
Hermione turned and walked into the living with and gave Draco a look that screamed help me.
"Hermione," Cissy came over and wrapped her in a hug. "I wasn't sure you'd make it. We are all so glad you are here." She felt the girl not relaxing into the hug like normal and pulled back to look at her face. Hermione's eyes were wide and the matron looked over her shoulder. "Bella. You made it. We weren't sure you'd get off in enough time."
"Morgan's been keeping me up late every night this week," she rolled her eyes, "I basically had to sneak out to get here." She looked around the room and nodded to Dora then laughed. "You don't expect me to wear those ridiculous things do you?"
"If I had to put this on, you best believe I expect you to wear this too, auntie," Dora laughed, sounding like her mom.
"I don't think so," she crossed her arms over her chest. "Bellatrix Druella Black does not wear matching pajamas."
"She does if she wants to be a part of this evening," Cissy took the same stance as her oldest sister.
"Fight!" Andy shouted coming out from the kitchen wearing her matching pajamas. She and her daughter started chanting "fight" while Hermione excused herself to go sit by Draco on the love seat.
"You can turn and head upstairs and put your pajamas on or you can head back out the door," Cissy stuck her chin up and looked down at her oldest sister.
Bella narrowed her eyes and stared her sister down, "fine but if anyone takes any pictures of me, I will be out of here." An evil smile spread over Andy's face. "And I will kill you, Andromeda. Don't test me."
"You love me," she said when Bella was halfway up the steps.
"That's debatable!" The oldest Black sister shouted back down the stairs.
"Do you need any help Mrs. Malfoy?" Hermione asked as she was getting up off of the couch.
"No dear," she said as she dragged Andy back into the kitchen.
Dora walked over and pulled Hemrione onto the three person couch. "Fucking sucks. I heard what happened. Well not everything but enough. If you want I can take a picture of Auntie Bella in her jammies, blow it up and hang it up at the next exhibit opening."
Hermione laughed, "thank you Dora but I don't think that'll be necessary." Bella walked back in the room in her pajamas, her hair pulled up in a bun and her glasses resting on her nose and she was engaged in a phone conversation with someone. "Does she not know it's an unplugged event?"
"They put her in pajamas. I highly doubt she'll give up her phone," Dora shrugged, pulling out her own phone and taking a few pictures of her aunt. "Just in case," she winked at Hermione.
"Morgan," Bella said in a frustrated tone. "This can wait. I'm with my family tonight. Yes I know. I know. Okay. Day after Christmas. I'll meet you there. Happy Christmas and sweet dreams." She hung up the phone and stuffed it into her bra and made her way into the kitchen after glancing over and seeing Hermione on the couch with her niece.
"Well this isn't going to be awkward at all," Dora said as she reached into her pajama pants pocket and pulled out her flask. She handed it to Hermione who shrugged and took a sip, coughing at the harsh liquid. "Oh it's whiskey. Happy Christmas," Dora laughed and took a swig from her flask and handed it back to Hermione. They finished the whiskey before everybody came back from
in the kitchen Hermione's cheeks were already feeling flushed. "Let's go eat. You don't want to get too knackered before we start the movies, love." She pulled Hermione up and threw her arm around her shoulder. Hermione blushed more at the show of affection and saw Bella watching out of the corner of her eye.
"All right everyone get a plate then find yourself a seat. Youngest picks the first movie. That's you Draco."
"Umm I have no preference," he tried to sound cool.
"Sure you don't honey," Narcissa ruffled his hair as she walked over and pulled out Frosty the snowman which caused a round of snickers to be heard.
"This looks right good," Dora said and she loaded up her plate with snacks and waited for Hermione before pulling her over to one of the loveseats and sitting next to her as close as possible.
"What are you doing?" Hermione leaned over and whispered into Dora's ear.
Dora smirked and looked at Bella before leaning in and whispering, "trying to make her jealous. Is she looking?" Hermione nodded, "good," she pulled back and laughed like Hermione had just said the funniest thing in the world.
Bella had her face set in a neutral manner and took a seat across the living room, never letting her gaze turn from the pair of them. Hermione folded her legs under herself and tried not to pay attention to Bella and her gaze. "Who's Morgan?" Hermione whispered between bites after the movie started playing.
"Honestly, I don't know. I'm kept out of the loop. Do I need to kill her?"
"I'll let you know," Hermione laughed and quickly cut it off when Draco shushed them.
The evening was very pleasant having sat through a few films, everyone was having a good time talking and laughing and the initial awkwardness seemed to disappear. It was either that or Hermione was getting more and more drunk and didn't notice. She wasn't quite sure how but Dora just kept pulling flasks out and offering Hermione sips which she happily took to numb the thrum of her heart. At one point, Hermione started to get a little dizzy, maybe tired. She wasn't sure at that point so she rested her head on Dora's shoulder. Dora sat back against the couch and put her arm around the brunette letting her snuggle further into her. Hermione's eyes fluttered close and she swore it was only for a moment but she heard the legs of a chair being dragged across the floor and her eyes shot open to see Bella leaving the living room. She told her sisters she was going to call it a night and headed up to her bedroom. She cringed when she heard a door slam upstairs. "Well I think that sent a message," Dora laughed and removed her arm from around Hermione.
"Oh no. I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. I feel I've had too much to drink," Hermione looked genuinely upset.
"Don't worry about her, love," Andy spoke up. "Bella's a big girl. She needs to learn to sort out her own emotions and talk about them."
"Where did you even get alcohol?" Cissy looked suspicious at Dora.
"You said an unplugged evening Auntie… not a dry evening," Dora gave her aunt a sheepish grin and handed over her flasks to Cissy's waiting hands.
"Whether Bella admits it or not, the breakup upset her more than she realizes apparently and seeing you snuggling with her much younger niece probably didn't help," Draco piped up.
"I wasn't snuggling," Hermione cheeks flushed from both embarrassment and the alcohol.
"Looked like more than snuggling from over here," he grinned.
"Dora, you are lovely but I'm not…"
Dora started to cackle, "calm down love. I'm not looking for anything from you. I was just hanging out with a friend. If Aunt Bella read into that then like mum said, she needs to sort out her feelings."
"Don't let my sister ruin your Christmas, Hermione. You still haven't hung your ornament on the tree for this year," Cissy patted her leg. "Come on now," she got up and helped Hermione stand. She was a little unstable on her feet and she could definitely feel like alcohol coursing through her body.
The family minus Bella all took turns hanging up their new ornaments for the year and Hermione asked, "what about Bella's?"
"We will leave it for her to hang up tomorrow when she wakes up," Andy smiled and cupped Hermione's cheek. "Maybe you should go get some sleep. Let the alcohol wear off," she turned and looked at her daughter, "you too sunshine. I know how grumpy you get in the morning. Just like your auntie Bella."
"Fine," Dora rolled her eyes and looked at Hermione. "Want to share my bed?" Andy slapped her daughter upside the back of her head. "I was kidding. Christ mum."
"I do think I'll turn in. It was a lovely evening." Hermione said a goodnight to everyone that was still in the living room and made her way up the stairs to her bedroom. She grabbed her phone and checked her social media accounts. She saw how happy everyone looked at the Weasley house and there were a few pictures of Harry and his uncle. It was all very heartwarming but she couldn't concentrate on anything except the look of disgust she received from Bella before she left downstairs. "I could text her," she thought as she scrolled through her messages. She opened the text box and wrote a few messages but kept deleting them. "Just go to bed. Don't give her the satisfaction," Hermione grumbled and put her phone down, rolled over and tucked herself in. She wasn't sure if she actually fell asleep at any point but she did hear everyone come up the stairs and shut their doors. The time on her phone read just past 1am. "Fuck it," she was still feeling brave from the alcohol and wanted answers. She walked down the hallway and stopped outside of Bella's room. There were no lights coming from under the door but she stood and knocked quietly anyways. She was nervously bouncing back and forth between her two feet when she heard the click of a bedside light and footsteps.
"Fuck off it's late," came the grumbling reply as the door swung open to a sleepy looking Bella.
"Hi," Hermione hated herself for sounding so stupid. Her Professor stood and looked at her without moving aside. Her body was stiff with her arms crossed over her chest. "Can I come in? Please?" She whispered, stepping closer into the door frame.
"That's probably not a good idea," the older woman whispered back as she stepped slightly out of the way allowing Hermione to pass into the room. "It's late," she repeated, shutting the door and keeping a distance between them.
"How've you been?"
"Fine," Bella shrugged. "And you?"
"Probably the shittiest that I've ever been." She saw her professor shift uncomfortably almost relieved. "I just needed to talk to you."
"I'm not sure we have anything to talk about," Bella crossed her arms and leaned against the dresser that was almost taller than her.
"But we do," Hermione had an almost desperate air in her voice. "What happened with the Dean? You just left."
"I told you. I had to go pick up the pieces for the exhibit and the natural timing was provided to me."
"So all those months pursuing me, chasing me, convincing me that the rules didn't matter, asking me to be your girlfriend," Hermione tried to control the tremble in her voice. "It didn't mean anything?"
"I shouldn't have pursued you. That was an oversight on my part."
Hermione's heart was ripped from her chest all over again. She whispered, "an oversight?" Hermione walked over closer and stood in front of her Professor. "I don't think that's true." Bella didn't respond. She stood looking the brunette in the eyes, not backing down. "I think you are hurting just as much as I am and I think that you think that if you hurt my feelings enough than I'll just fuck off."
"I'm not hurting."
"Then why did you leave so abruptly downstairs?"
"I was tired," Bella shrugged her shoulders and walked past the brunette over to the bed, sitting on the corner of the plush mattress.
"Not because you were jealous?"
"No, Hermione," Bella glared at the girl. "I'm not hurt or jealous or whatever feelings you are trying to project onto me. I only came tonight because I thought you wouldn't be here. Had I known, I would've made other arrangements so you could've enjoyed your holiday."
"This is your family. Not mine. I could've made arrangements. Or I could've just stayed at my apartment."
Bella gave her a confused look, "from what I hear, my family is your family so you belong here just as much if not more than I do."
Hermione felt Bella letting her guards down. Maybe it was the alcohol, or the fact that she was finally with her again. Whatever it was, she wasn't stopping it. Hermione walked over and stood in front of Bella. She cupped her cheeks and raised her head so she could look her in the eyes. "Did you miss me?"
Bella reached up and grabbed around Hermione's wrists, lowering her hands. She whispered, "we can't do this."
"Why?" Hermione moved her face closer so they were inches apart, sharing the same air.
"Because you are drunk and this thing between us is over," she looked from her lips back up to her eyes.
"Did you miss me?" She asked again.
Bella let out a long breath before answering, "you need to go back to your room, Hermione. If you want to talk about this we can do so when you aren't drunk and so emotionally charged." Bella stood up and started to walk Hermione backwards over to the door. "Please," she nodded towards the door.
"Does she love you?"
"Who?" Bella looked confused.
"Does Morgan," the name came out like venom, "make you feel as good as I did?"
Bella's eyes widened at the comment but she just set her face and opened the door, "leave."
Hermione's eyes were blurry with tears and she left her ex lovers bedroom feeling exponentially worse than when she went in. She walked straight back to her room, feeling the sobering effects of the alcohol abruptly leave her body. "I have to get out of here." The time on her phone read 1:30am. "She's probably sleeping," she sent a quick message to Ginny.
Hermione(1:31am): Gin, are you up?
Ginny(1:35): just getting ready to fall asleep. What's up?
Hermione(1:37am): can I Uber over? I can't stay here. I'll explain later.
Ginny(1:38): of course. I'll wait for you downstairs.
Hermione sent a quick thanks, ordered her Uber and changed back into her leggings and Christmas jumper, leaving her folded pajamas on her bed. She packed up her belongings and went downstairs, leaving her Christmas presents for everyone under the tree. She also scribbled a quick note to Narcissa.
Thank you for everything but something came up and I needed to leave. I am okay. I'll text everyone soon. Happy Christmas.
Love,
Hermione
Hermione's phone notified her that her Uber was waiting for her outside. She quickly and quietly left the house not looking back to see if the lights were still on in Bella's room.