Chapter 21 – City Of Angels

By the third day of their trip, they had visited pretty much all the best tourist attractions. They took silly photos with Quinn's polaroid camera on the walk of fame, strutted down Rodeo Drive and pretended to be Vivian from Pretty Woman by repeating her iconic line "big mistake… big… huge!" whenever they saw a boutique that looked like the one in the movie and they took a long walk at Venice beach. The food and drinks everywhere were so good but what Santana enjoyed the most, was the fact that she was quite far away from home, yet she didn't feel lost. She always imagined going away some day. To explore the big cities she had only known from movies and to just be out there, enjoying life. But it had also kind of scared her. She always thought she might feel lost and overwhelmed. It was nothing like that.

In a funny way it felt like she was closer to home than at her actual home.

They had three more nights to do whatever they wanted. They planned to go to the movies and order the biggest bowl of popcorn available, buy one expensive piece of clothing and go to a real fancy bar in order to flirt with strangers, find a way to get to a rooftop somewhere to watch the skyline and enjoy some ice cream at Santa Monica pier. She wished they could have stayed for two more weeks but they were going to run out of money sooner or later.

Also Quinn really missed her daughter although she kept saying that she was very glad to get a break from her. Santana couldn't blame her. She missed her brothers, too. Well mostly Iker because Tony was probably just playing computer games all day long… but she hoped that her younger brother was doing ok now that she didn't prepare his breakfast for the first time in his life.

It was a good thing though. He needed to learn how to be more independent. Thankfully their abuela invited the two of them for lunch and dinner every single day that Santana was gone. It was good for her, too. To have people around her. She was lonely and slowly but surely her age was starting to show whenever she was doing things like the laundry or work in the garden. To have Iker around every day, talking like a parrot and running around with a football all the time must have been refreshing for her.

Santana enjoyed having time for herself. Quinn was a great travel buddy. She always let Santana choose where to eat and had good ideas about what to do next on their to do list. Santana was having the time of her life, spending those carefree days.

Although she was aware of the slight possibility, it still shook her to the core to see Brittany's face out of nowhere. It was huge. On a billboard on Sunset Strip. She was in the background but the sheer size still overwhelmed Santana.

It wasn't the first time that she saw a picture of her ever since their relationship had ended, so she knew what she looked like now. She looked pretty much the same, yet older than 22. Or maybe just more mature. At least Santana imagined her to be mature. She must have seen so many places all over America… met people from everywhere… kissed people from all over everywhere.

Santana swallowed when she gazed at the billboard while they were standing at a traffic light. Quinn who was behind the wheel must have followed her gaze because she let out an impressed "oh wow" soon after.

The picture was advertising for a show that Brittany was obviously a part of. She wasn't playing the lead but her appearance still stood out on that billboard. At least to Santana…

"Do you want to go watch the show tonight?" Quinn dared to ask after another moment of silence. Santana eventually recovered from the shock and was kind of glad when the lights turned green. She pulled her eyes away from the billboard two seconds before it was out of her sight.

Santana wished her answer came quicker but somehow her words were stuck in her throat. The thought of Brittany being physically near made her feel all kinds of things. Excited because – of course she had longed to see her again. But also scared because she could literally feel certain wounds getting reopened. She also felt overwhelmed and intimidated. But mostly she was nervous.

"Uhm… I have no idea what to say right now", she admitted. Quinn chuckled.

"That's ok. It came a little unexpected, huh?"

Santana thought for a moment.

"Not really… I've been looking out for her ever since we first arrived."

"Are you serious? Why didn't you say something?"

Santana shrugged.

"I was scared of what it would do to me if I'd see her."

"And? Was it so scary now?"

"Quinn… it was a billboard."

"I know. But it means she's here somewhere and that she's going to be on that stage in a couple hours. Aren't you curious?"

Santana sighed. Curious… that would have been an understatement. She wanted to know how Brittany was doing so badly. What she looked like up close.

If her hair was still so soft and inviting to play with. If her skin still smelled like home… if her laughter still made her feel like everything was going to be fine and if her eyes still gave her that look.

She was so scared to look at Brittany and realize that the sparkle had gone. The sparkle that was always meant for Santana and promised that they were connected on a level that no one else knew.

She could hardly stand the ache of finding out it was gone. That their story was gone. Sometimes she seriously wondered if everything happened the way she remembered it. If it all had been real or just her wishful thinking. It was a strange feeling. Knowing that they had been together but somehow doubting it afterwards. As if it was too good to be true. Too good to be something she could have had in the first place and then lost.

"I don't know if I can watch her show… Can I think about it?"

"Of course" Quinn agreed with a smile. Then she turned on the radio and they both got lost in their own thoughts.

/

Hours later Santana was sitting on her bed and counting the money they still had for the rest of their stay. They were going to have to cross some things off their to do list… on the other side of the room Quinn was lying on her bed and hogging the phone. Apparently Addie was missing her mommy like crazy. Quinn was trying to get her to sleep by singing a lullaby into the mouthpiece. She made an apologizing gesture when they looked at each other but Santana quickly waved it off with a wink.

For a minute she was tempted to leave the hotel room and head to where Brittany's show was going to take place that night.

She probably wouldn't have been able to pull through with it and go inside but maybe she could have caught a glimpse of Brittany when she arrived. She realized how creepy that was and quickly thought of something else they could do once Quinn would get Addie to try and sleep next to her daddy.

Santana wondered… how would Brittany react if they walked into each other on the street? Would she be all sweet and kind or maybe distant and dismissive? Because she had moved on, too?

Santana had absolutely no idea. Neither did she know if she herself would have been ready to be all 'oh my God it's been so long!' and hug it out. Maybe she would have given Brittany the cold shoulder. Maybe she would have taken her into her arms and never let go again.

When Quinn finally hung up, she sighed.

"I'm so sorry. I think she's good for the night though… poor Jake. I think he regrets sending me off for several days. Have you given it another thought in the meantime? If you want to go watch the show?"

Santana pretended to think for another moment, then she threw Quinn's purse into her lap.

"I have. Get your things and get ready. We're leaving in ten minutes if we want to make it on time."

/

Quinn…

She wasn't surprised when Santana guided her to the movie theatre instead of the dance show. She could tell that her friend was simply not ready. Maybe she'd never be? It saddened Quinn. In her opinion Brittany and Santana were meant to be with each other again one day. They simply made so much sense to her.

She had never seen two people more aware of the other's presence, appreciating their time to the fullest. It was the sweetest thing to witness when they were younger.

When they were sitting in comfortable chairs, popcorn and sweets between them, watching Meg Ryan and Nicolas Cage fall in love on screen, she felt a certain wistfulness.

Maybe some love stories just weren't meant to be for the long run. Seth was an angel and he chose to become human, only to spend like one single day with the woman he loved. A huge sacrifice for a short moment of happiness. It touched her because it made her realize that her time with Jake and Addie wasn't to be taken for granted.

No matter how much she loved having some fun days off, she suddenly couldn't wait to get home and hug her loved ones.

When she threw a glance to her side, she could see that Santana was captivated, too. The last couple minutes of the movie were playing. They both couldn't believe that this was going to be the ending. With tears in their eyes they stared at each other once the credits were rolling.

"Oh my God" Santana sniffed. "This movie is terrible. But it love it."

"I know" Quinn agreed. "It sucks so badly but I really want to watch it again."

They both laughed between blowing their noses. Eventually Santana pulled Quinn out of the chair and they made their way back outside to the vivid nightlife with their arms linked.

They talked about the movie for at least another hour when they went to get a drink at a bar. They were standing at the counter, caught up in the storyline of the movie that Quinn almost didn't realize how a group of girls were sitting at a table nearby and one of them kept looking over at Santana, absolutely checking her out. There was no question.

"Uhm Santana? Don't look right now but there's a girl on your left who keeps- I said don't look right now!"

"Sorry!"

Quinn rolled her eyes at her friend. She couldn't believe how bad Santana was at this. Her cheeks were already glowing.

"Ok, listen. I think there's a chance that you could totally make out with a girl tonight. What do you say?"

"Quinn! Stop it!"

"Why? Don't you want to see what other lady lips are out there?"

"Oh God… what even makes you think that this girl is into me? Do you have some sort of radar?"

"Uh no but I have eyes in my head? She keeps looking. Not at your nice pair of jeans but at your cute little ass."

Santana hid her face in her hands. She was clearly uncomfortable, but Quinn could also detect a hint of pride and curiosity.

"You're unbelievable. We're here to spend time together. With each other. Not to hook up with strangers."

"Well sure but one thing doesn't exclude the other. Besides, we've been attached to the hips for twenty-four seven. We could both use a little break. I could go talk to some people over there by the pool table and you talk to that girl. I've always wanted to have a conversation with complete strangers. About politics. Or the environment."

Santana stared at her.

"The environment? Who are you and what did you do to my best friend?"

"I'm serious, Santana. You should use the opportunity to talk to people you've never met before. Try to have some fun. Go with the flow. I think you might regret it if we get home and you realize that the only person you talked to was me. The one person who knows you best."

Quinn watched how her friend blinked at her several times. She seemed a little clueless.

"I tell you what. I'm going to the ladies' room now and when I come back, I'll go straight to the pool table. You'll try your luck here in the meantime." She could see the panic welling up in Santana's face. "Nothing has to happen if you don't want it to. Just… try to have a good time, Santana. Our trip's going to be over before you know it. If it doesn't feel right then you just come over and join me."

She gave her friend a reassuring smile and with that she left Santana alone.

/

Santana…

Quinn's pep talk was starting to show its effect. When she threw another look over her shoulder, she found the girl at the bar looking back at her.

She was nothing like Brittany.

Santana didn't know why she was thinking that. It didn't even matter at all. The girl was shorthaired, wearing rather masculine clothes but her features seemed gentle from a distance.

Santana felt a rush of confidence when the girl smirked at her and Santana smiled back. She cleared her throat. She wasn't sure what to do next. She wondered how to approach that person. Was a smile enough to walk over and start talking? There was no empty chair at their table. Was she supposed to just stand there and they'd have a conversation in that awkward position?

Her questions got answered when she watched the girl getting up from the chair and coming over. Santana's throat went dry.

The girl introduced herself as Cam and they quickly started talking about where they both came from and what they were doing here. Santana noticed the way Cam looked deep into her eyes. They were green and mysterious. Santana couldn't quite reach what she was looking for. She didn't even know what to look for in the first place.

Cam was definitely pretty. Santana had never met anyone like her. So forward and sure of themselves. But not in a bad way.

"So you and your friend are leaving in a couple days, huh? You should make sure to enjoy them to the fullest."

Santana chuckled and thanked her when Cam paid for their next drinks.

"I plan to do so, yes." Santana countered and threw a look over Cam's shoulder to make sure Quinn was there by the pool table.

Apparently she had no trouble getting in touch with strangers, either. She was already holding a cue in her hands and listening to some explanations by the others.

"So may I ask if a pretty girl like you is single?" Cam wanted to know after a while.

Santana took a sip of her drink.

"I'm… yes… I guess."

"You guess? Uh-oh… that sounds a little complicated to be honest."

Santana shook her head.

"I'm sorry. It's not complicated. The person I was in love with left our small town to become a singer."

Santana didn't know why she lied about that detail. Somehow she wanted to make sure that there was no chance for Cam to find out who that person was. It was silly. But her first love story was so sacred to her.

"Was in love with? You're no longer?"

Santana gazed into the girl's eyes. She absolutely knew nothing about her. Anything she told her could have been a lie. Just like Santana had lied, too.

"Now here comes the complicated part you were referring, too." Santana explained, causing her opposite to grin. "I don't even know if you can be in love with a person you haven't seen in years."

Cam thought for a couple seconds.

"Sure you can… but I can't tell you if you still are. I guess you only know something like that when you're face to face with the person again. It'll all be clear then."

Santana smiled. Cam winked at her and let her hand brush against Santana's.

"And until you know what you're gonna do… I wanted to let you know that you're really beautiful."

Santana's heart fluttered for a second. She knew that her cheeks were blushing but she didn't care. It felt nice.

"Thank you" She muttered.

Cam pointed towards Quinn and the pool table.

"Do you want to play, too?"

Santana nodded and led the way over to Quinn who was already grinning at her.

"Quinn, this is Cam."

"Very nice to meet you. These are Alex, Donald, Kim, Sarah and Jessica. Everyone – this is my best friend Santana and her new friend Cam. Let's raise a glass to meeting strangers!"

They all cheered and clinked glasses before they stood around the table and started a new game.

Quinn was right… sometimes it was all about having a good time. She even scored several times. They laughed a lot that night and when they said goodbye hours later, Santana gave Cam a kiss on the cheek. They didn't exchange phone numbers or addresses. Santana knew that she wasn't going to see her again.

She felt quite light but also dead tired when she and Quinn reached their hotel room in the early morning hours.

"I'm proud of you." Quinn mumbled when they both fell into bed after taking off their clothes and barely made it to brush their teeth.

"I'm proud of us, too. I love you." Santana mumbled half asleep.

"Love you, too…" Quinn whispered and turned off the lights.

Santana was indeed a little proud of herself. For coming here in the first place, for not breaking into tears when she saw that billboard and for giving it a shot to flirt with someone. For a change it had felt nice to get that kind of attention.

It gave her hope for what was to come.