Chapter 5


Starting off, -for at this point, he will not attempt to deceive himself with a lie- particularly for the first three sessions, he had given much of his time to thoughts on the subject of Miss Granger. In varying degrees, and oddly, at the strangest and inopportune of times, he had found himself either straying to the memory of her during their meetings, or, absently landing his eyes on her whenever they happened to be in the same vicinity.

It seemed to him then, during the stretching time between those first three meetings, that in the workings of his mind, he couldn't keep the subject of Miss Granger from surfacing whenever it pleased. Thus, in those unwelcomed moments, he would find himself engaging his mind, to trying to find the unknown madness that made him change his mind and agree to allow her access to his valuable time and costly potions ingredients. When it wasn't that thought that accompanied the matter of Miss Granger in his mind, it was the thought of rethinking his leniency of giving her the uninterrupted plane to brew potions for him. Either option of thought, took a fraction of his peace away, because no, he didn't want to be giving the girl any thought, more and beyond than that he already saw her on a day-to-day basis.

Really, as though his eyes seeing her several times a week in his class wasn't enough, adding the newly started non-curricular brewing, him mind treacherously went on to allowing her to take up a fraction of it. In those times, the subject of her would leisurely stay for as long nothing else abruptly took his mind's attention from it. As no other student had done to him before, Miss Granger had made him face the longest mental week.

After that first week, however, things changed.

Miss Granger still showed up at his door on time, she still knocked on his door, announcing herself to him before she entered the room, and she still offered him a polite greeting, although, she didn't attempt to talk to him, or even look at him beyond what of him, the line of vision when walking into the room allowed her. She simply put her bag aside, rolled back the sleeves of her jersey twice on each arm, and then began on the base potion that he had ready for her to prepare. She readily set her concentration on what she was supposed to do, and it was in observing her work, that he found it worthless to spend any more of his thoughts on the girl. The wordless manner in which she deviated from the behaviour very characteristic of her, hit him as a revelation, and forced him to do the same, for at least that particular meeting.

That particular meeting, became a usual thing, he found.

She would repeat her routine, nearly precisely as the previous time, right down to the time that she bid him a polite goodbye, and he found himself taking from her cue each and every time. Less and less, day after day, his mind self-generated thoughts of her, to the point where he could easily look at her, especially during his class, and not at all wonder if he had done the right thing in granting her the favour of brewing in her free time.

As the weeks went by, and she continued coming to his class, getting right into brewing without exchanging more than what had become customary between them, he no longer questioned himself on the subject of Miss Granger. He also no longer wondered if he was somehow becoming less of himself, less of suspicious and untrusting Snape, because he didn't spew scalding words at her, and the sight of her in his doorway no longer caused immediate irritation within him. Although their lack of exchange could hardly be called anything close to civilised interactions by anyone but him, he didn't dwell on that either.

He truthfully found no need to, not when she kept to herself, didn't bother him, and left him with prepared potions at the end of her stay. Had she been doing what was typical of her, such as ceaselessly attempting to impress him, or never keeping the questions in her mind from escaping through her mouth, he would have had a firm reason to remain in the character that had made a reputation for him. As it was, that character never found a reason to be active when it was only the two of them, that is, until now.

It had to be now of all times, on the very day that he especially counted on her silent working, to be left alone with his thoughts. He counted on this silent time with, because during the rest of the day, he has classes to attend to, and at night, the Headmaster has made it part of his routine to convene with him, thus, leaving little room for his thoughts to keep him company. However, it seems that she too, must insist on being a bother.

Sacred magic, the girl has absolutely no sense.

They had been doing so well in the regard of having a silent understanding between them, he didn't speak to her, and she didn't bother him. He had believed that he could get through the year in that precise way, following that routine between them, and yet, the feeling of the burn of her eyes on him now, is clear proof that he had expected too much, from someone too incapable of not flaunting her presence to whoever is available.

He had truly expected too much indeed.

Sorely so, he's tempted to lift his head from his work, and then raise his eyes to hers, because really, nearly two months of an understanding, and she is willing to disrupt that now? Naught sense (and consideration, might he add) at all! She must not have an idea of how close she is, to disturbing the somewhat balance that he had kept himself him, which prevented him from being true to his caustic behaviour with her.

He never should've given her any passes from his harshness.

Who knows, perhaps, if he had kept his behaviour, she would've known not to do something such as this. It will serve him nothing to think of all the ways that he could have intimidated her to remain cautious in his presence, though, neither will those thoughts get her with certainty, to stop looking at him. If he is to stop her from entertaining her eyes with him, and then prevent it from happening further onwards, he will have to open his mouth.

'Is my name on the parchment of instructions that I left you, Miss Granger?' he slowly gets out of his mouth.

'No,' she quickly replies, quite shortly actually.

And there it is, he notes with a small mental smile. There is that defiant attitude of hers, the very one that initially contributed to him allowing her the space to brew potions, also the same one that she has kept tucked in for nearly two months. As though she had been expecting that precise question from him, just so she could proudly rear her true nature as an instant response, she diligently brought it out from its safekeeping.

Ah, well, if she must bring that out, then it is much to his gladness.

It has been a while since he said anything to hurt and humiliate her. Although he had been accepting of the silent agreement that had existed between them before this, he cannot deny that the opportunity of indulging in a moment to make her feel less than, or ultimately stupid, is not appealing to him. More so, because she is the one who brought it upon herself in the first place, thus taking the fault for his reaction, from him.

'Can I safely rest assured then, that I am not an ingredient for your current potion?'

'You're not, Professor,' she says all too quickly once again.

He couldn't be gladder for anything else at the moment. The backpedalling in the rush of her words, even though her seemingly even tone doesn't give that away, is what thrills him at the moment. Knowing that without giving her visual attention, he is able to make her doubt herself in the timeline of a single question, provides him with satisfaction that he hasn't truly, in entirety felt in a while since the beginning of term.

'Excellent observation, Miss Granger,' he dryly decides to say to her. 'Now return to your work.'

He feels that her shifted attitude, from defiant to rethinking her reaction, has filled him sufficiently. Not only that, he also now believes that she has been re-educated on his behaviour, and so would not dare to provoke him to such an extent again; not if she wishes to leave his office with her emotions full undamaged and intact.

'But I need to ask you something, Professor,' she insists.

While he can appreciate that she still has a testing, near tentative sound in her tone, much like she is afraid of how he will react to her statement, he will do no such thing, because apparently he wasn't thorough in re-educating her about himself. It irritates him about her, that she either chose to ignore the reminder of his unpleasant responses, or she failed to pick up that obvious cue from their prior verbally short exchange.

It irritates him so much, that before he raises his head to squint his eyes in her direction, he pulls in a long breath to concurrently bid goodbye to their agreement and collect typical Severus Snape from his resting place. He will have her know, that whatever hurtful thing he might say to her after her fixes his eyes on her, he cannot in any way be blamed for, since she is the one who poked that Severus Snape from his slumber.

'Harry's next task is three days from now,' she tells him as soon as their eyes meet.

That is a question how? He wonders this while studying her face. Never mind that she seems in a hurry to say what she needs to say before she loses heart, he is moved to think more by the fact that she claimed to have a question, but did not ask it.

'If that is what you call a question, Miss Granger, then I have been-'

'Will I be allowed to watch him?' she promptly cuts his statement short.

It is either that she knows the ending towards which his statement was heading, or she simply wishes to stick to her character, and challenge him that way. It would not be the first time for her to do such a thing as the last of the two, if that is the case. Nonetheless, without making another physical move, he quietly continues to look at her, wondering why she would ask him such a thing. What has come over her, for her to believed that he would be bothered if she went to see Potter's task? On the other hand, however, he is also curious to know how she will react if he tells her that she cannot go. She did, after all, with that single question, place the power in his hands.

'No,' he evenly responds with, and just for added emphasis, he drops his head and eyes back down to his work.

'Why not?'

Anger, that is what it's from, he notes to himself. She sounds angry, but how dare she? She placed the ball in his hands, and she now has the tenacity to ask him why he has the ball?

'As far as I know, you have a double period of free lessons three days from now,' he begins to say without lifting his eyes to her. 'You whined, Miss Granger, practically selling your soul to me, to be here.'

'That's not fair!' she cries from where she is. 'Harry needs me there.'

'Or you go there, or you come here,' he presents to her. 'The choice is most entirely yours.'

Is that really the way to break her down? She likes to parade her knowledge around, and yet, in a moment where she feels targeted to go against her friend, to let her friend down, she dissolves to a truly clueless thing? Surely, she of all the students in the school, must be aware that all the staff, and all the students are required to attend the viewing of the tasks? How can it easily slip her mind, something so valuable, that she cannot use her power of memory to save herself? What is her knowledge for then, when she clearly has a weakness, even with it?

Although, would it really be right to call devoted loyalty a weakness? Isn't he also a loyal-

'You're being totally unfair, Professor,' her voice reaches him. 'I can make up for the day that I miss. I can't miss watching Harry competing. You may not care about him, but I do, and he's my friend. I would never abandon him when he needs me.'

This display of hers, is the reason why in the beginning week when she would brew, at certain times, he would deliberately look up to see that she was not doing anything unlikely. Although devoted to the cause of being the best, her being friends with a one Potter boy, automatically made her liable to the realm of causing trouble, thus, he would check up on her. Later, after convincing himself that he was simply wasting his time by checking up on a student who anyway sought his approval, and so would never do anything unbecoming in his presence, he learned to tame his suspicions of her, until she gave him a reason not to trust her. Even so, however, he's always held the feeling that he shouldn't forget about that part of her; it would should itself sooner or later.

'He needs you,' he repeats only to mock her. 'How very much like Potter you are, Miss Granger. You have a false sense of importance, just as he does.'

'He needs me there,' she strongly maintains.

He heavily suspects that with that stoned expression on her face and the rigid stance of her body, she is indirectly telling him that she does not care one bit, what he thinks of her and Harry at the moment, because the matter remains what it is with or without his approval. He also suspects that if he is to continue testing her willpower, in connection to Potter, more specifically, he will be giving her much more of his time, than a mere baiting response for the sake of conducting an experiment, should allow between them.

'Go,' he finally says to her, making sure to sound bored about the fact.

He does that, mostly to cover up the fact that once again, because she stood her ground, challenging him, he let her get away with what she wants. If she believes him to be bored with the reality of exchanging words with her, she is most likely to do something sensible and not say anything afterwards. He's talked to for too long, and he doesn't want to keep doing it anymore.

'I'm not finished brewing yet,' she replies with a horrified look on her face.

'To your precious Potter,' he provides the clarity. 'Are you lacking comprehension compartments in your mind?'

To be fair, a regular sized part of him had meant to mislead her with his single word, for the purpose of using her response against her. He will not make it known to her, however, because she has no need to know.

'Can I come back to brew still?'

Keeping his eyes on her for only a moment longer, as though evaluating her, he then returns his attention to the work on his desk, simply ignoring her question. That, he does, because he doesn't want to say the word 'yes' to her -for the love of sacred things, he's already been out of character with her more times than he can count. He will simply let her decide her own way. If she is well equipped in understanding, then she will take his silence to mean that she may return to brewing after that one day break, and if not… Well, that still doesn't leave her free.

'Thank you so much, Professor,' she says after a small smile.

Hmpf, what does he know! Apparently the past three years have taught her something about him. She seems to at least understand that when he is not agreement with something, he clearly expresses it. She must now that his form of expression, wouldn't have to be wildly detailed, or profound in a verbal sense, it would simply need to be shown with a certain expression.

That's something about her to be glad for, he supposes. Except, on the other hand, her spewing forced gratitude his way, takes away the gladness that he felt in her knowing something, without him having to spell it out for her.

In her head, she must believe that in being polite to him, he allows her to keep coming back, but little does she know, that he doesn't even file her gratitude away within him. Her gratitude means nothing to him, when it's attached to her expecting something of compliments and acceptance from him, much less when she uses it as a tactic to secure her position in brewing potions. Independent of anything in return, purely innocent and genuine, is when he will take her gratitude and guard it within him. Not a second before then.


26Chapters


'Snape.'

That man, if he knows what is appropriate, should better keep his mouth shut, and his arm just as covered. He needn't look towards the door to see who is standing there, most likely with his forearm exposed again; it can only be Karkaroff.

'A student had just been in here, Igor!' he mutters, knowing that his voice will reach the other man all right.

'I met her on the way out,' the other one lets him know.

Spoken in that tone, it's as though the man is telling him not to worry, which would be rich coming from him. His very unwarranted presence here would dare mock his unspoken sentiment, he thinks. In any case, it's at this revelation, not because it's fascinating to him, that Severus abandons his work to press his attention towards the man standing in the doorway. To magic, he hopes that his face conveys as much distaste as he feels for the fool of a man over there.

How ought he not to worry when Miss Hermione Granger whom he just met, so happens to be one of the more meddling students in this entire school. She has the mental capacity to put distant things together, feeding her curiosity until it's fully satisfied. Had the Karkaroff any sense, he'd at least know to be careful while in this school. Really, it's a wonder that his arm is not exposed this time.

'Tell me,' he begins, walking around the table, 'had she not been the only one in here?'

'Does it truly matter Snape?' the other man steps into the room, not bothering to close the door behind him. 'Students are aware that their professors have words with each other.'

Words, he says.

'Not the sort of words that you bring, surely,' he tests, raising his eyebrow for a much needed effect.

'I am desperately afraid, Snape. You must know that.'

He does know that, but chooses not to respond to him. He cannot have this man, afraid and dying inside, be the reason that suspicion comes upon him. It is all well and fine that the students fear him, that some don't trust him, but if any of them were to learn of his association with the Dark Lord, he'd be concerned, to say the least.

'Go on, think of me a coward, but help me with this, Severus, please. You know that he will not be so forgiving.'

'You will have to chance it,' he advises, knowing very well that the alternative is taking his own life. 'Besides, there is nothing that I could do for you that he wouldn't learn about.'

That's not true in its entirety, and yet he can only hope that the other man believes that it is. A portion of what he said is true, however, that he cannot do anything to get rid of the Mark. Had there been a way get rid of it, he would have done it already. Although, with the current change of this, even he isn't as demented as to attempt something of the sort. If the Mark is any indication of what is really to occur, then he would best not be found with it missing.

'Attempt something, Severus,' the other man continues to beg.

He simply cannot; both figurately and literally – it would be unwise to. The man before him, however, does not seem ready to hear such a confession. He supposes that in the absence of a permanent solution, the illusion of hope is far better to placate a man, than leave him to drown in the sorrows of his own fears. As such, he wandlessly closes the door and then motions for Karkaroff to step closer.

The Headmaster will have to hear about this.