Chapter 12


'Psst! Hermione!'

At the sound, she slowly turns her attention to the person calling her name, not to give herself away, because in her mind, she is quite annoyed that it's Harry calling for her. It just had to be Harry poking his head around Ron in the middle of them, to find her with his eyes as well. Why couldn't that have been Ronald's voice calling for her? Why did it have to be Harry's?

'What is it?' she asks as their eyes meet.

She would not say exactly that she regrets turning to give Harry her attention, but... It's only... One look into Harry's eyes, and already, she feels herself soften her irritation. See, this is why she would have liked that Ron was the one to call for her. In one way or another -and yes, she would have found an instant reason to back it up, she would be more or less justified to answer in as frustrated a way as she feels at the moment. There's always something with Ronald, even the smallest bit, that she can use against him as a reason to scold him. Not so much with Harry, though. With Harry, it's so much easier to soften her anger, because he's Harry.

'What was that with Snape?' he wants to know.

Before she gives him an answer, she sighs, the last part of her lamenting the fact that Ron wasn't the one to ask her that particular question, and then trigger her to feel all the more unsettled, but without the option of having a source to project her feelings onto, for the silliest of reasons (excuses, really, if she is being honest with herself).

'It was nothing, Harry,' she tells him after gathering herself.

It was nothing, she repeats in her head. Well, sort of… It was nothing. In a way, it was nothing. It just… It was nothing. Nothing made her annoyed with - it was just nothing. That's all that it was.

'But he asked for your timetable, and then you just walked away,' Harry reminds her.

As if she needs to be reminded of what she did, and what, does Harry really think that she is stupid? She can his doubt too loudly. He is practically saying that it couldn't have been nothing, when she reacted that way, only without actually speaking the words.

'Harry...' comes of her mouth as a way to scold him to leave the topic of-

This is so frustrating! Why couldn't it have been Ronald again? There's always bound to be something about him that she can use as an excuse to be mean to him, especially if she's feeling particularly annoyed for another reason outside of her two friends. In this case, she's a combination of stunned and confused, which really means that she is out of her normal well put together self, thanks to the Potions teacher. She has still not recovered from the 'confrontation' at the end of breakfast, which is precisely why she would have liked it all the more if it had been Ron, who made that irritating sound preceding her name.

'That didn't look like nothing, Hermione,' Harry insists, probably taking her pensive silence for unwillingness to disclose the truth.

She is well aware of what happened, how it happened, and from her side of things, she knows why it happened. Most gratefully, she would appreciate it very much if Harry didn't continue to remind her of things that happen concerning her.

'He's Snape, Harry, that's why it didn't look like anything,' she snaps.

'Don't you mean, Professor Snape?'

No, she does not, because she would have said that, but what an idiot she is! She unwillingly gave herself away with that tone of hers. The answer, not so much, but the tone did something there, making Harry question her.

Firstly, she only glares at him. Professionally so. In a way that even Harry knows not to ignore it, or worse, take it for something of an empty threat. And then, while she glares, she secondly focuses the attention of her eyes on him, which is how she sees him blink a few times.

'It's strange, though, Hermione,' he maintains. 'You walked away from a teacher. You've never done that before.'

Yes, she has, her mind automatically thinks, making her head bend down in shame. What she did to him, is something that has her, to this very day, equally ashamed and frightened. That being so, she cannot allow Harry to make the Potions teacher the centre of their conversation; she has to change it to another.

'I walked out on Trelawney before, didn't I?' she reminds him, her head still bowed in shame.

'You did more than that,' chuckling quietly, Harry points out.

'Yes, well, she got on my nerves.'

And the witch really did. Her rubbish talk of divination and not being gifted in something as unpredictable as making bogus guesses, and relying on feelings, is simply something that she could never support.

'Apparently Snape did too, from the looks of it,' Ron finally says something to support Harry's inquisition.

And ah! There! Thank magic that Ronald has enough sense to say something to her! She can now express her frustration without holding back, and she will not tarry around the opportunity. Not when the combination of feelings have been with her for far too long this morning.

'Will you leave it alone already, Ronald!' she snaps.

'You didn't tell that to Harry,' Ron complains, making the expression of someone wounded.

She didn't tell that to Harry, no, because Harry is Harry. It's just a little bit more different with Harry than it is with Ron. Harry annoys her at times too, but Harry has this sensitiveness to him, that Ron simply refuses to use, even though he has it. And that, is that.

'Just leave it!' she scolds, sharply turning away from them for effect.

It seems that for the rest of Charms, she will have to ignore them both. It suits her just perfectly, if they would like to know.


26Chapters


It's all getting to be a bit too much for her now.

Well, no, that's not true, it's already gotten a bit too much.

With her carefully concealed manner of avoidance, she's allowed it to get to this place of discomfort, this place of ducking the eyes of Professor Snape more than ever before, this place of looking for any and every small reason to snap at any person, who so much as dares to walk past her. It's a place highly irrational to be in, and she just cannot continue to support that sort of living any longer. She is supposed to be well focused on her schoolwork, especially with Umbridge being part of the staff now, but for the majority of the time, her mind strays to avoiding the possible meaning of Professor Snape confronting her in the Great Hall.

That does not mean that she thinks about him, though. Because, no, she does not.

The time before he came to see her that time at breakfast, she taught her mind to steer clear of all thoughts of him, so that she could not make herself spiral into the abyss of wondering why, why and why he has the Dark Mark on his skin. Also, why, why, why and why did he show it to her? Her, of all people. She wanted to keep from her mind, the questions of what he thinks of her now that she knows about his secret -if it is a secret, that is. That is if he doesn't go around showing every single student his Dark Mark, as a tactic to make and keep them afraid of him. Also, if it's not like that, what he'd like to do to her now that she knows his secret.

Now, though, since he actually made it a point to come to her, she has not been able to keep her thoughts from him. But that still does not mean that she thinks about him.

It's only that she starts off concentrating on avoiding his existence altogether in her mind, and sooner than she can pull herself from her thoughts, she is wondering about what he meant about 'Should've known' should he have known about her? Because she quite frankly doesn't know what he thinks when he looks at her. He probably does not even wonder about her, because why would he? There is no reason for him to wonder about her, unless... Both Ron and Harry have been asking her if she plans on continuing with more brewing, and maybe, he is wondering the same?

This has to end.

It's been three complete days after the breakfast incident, and the build up is reaching its peak, leading her to soon to explode. It has to end. And she has to be the one to put an end to it. Unfortunately. So here she is, not even knocking, just being overly comfortable and entering his office without announcing herself.

She's Hermione Granger, and-after-pushing-him-and-walking-away-from-him-twice, she should at least pretend that she is not confined to the rules that bind other students where he is concerned. She means, yes, she feels terrified out of her mind, but if she had the gall to walk away from him two separate times, she might as well pretend that she has transcended above the average student. Although, she should cleverly note that first of all, she's purposely putting herself in a situation where she is completely alone with Professor Snape, and the second, well… She's going to be alone with him.

Maybe she should turn around and walk right out again. She's not too far from the door, and he hasn't yet given any indication that he has seen her. Just because his face is set in the way of the door, it doesn't mean that he has seen her yet. Right? Maybe she should turn around before he focuses on her, because her nerves aren't ready for this. Yes, she should go back. Right now may-

'If it isn't Miss Granger,' he announces her presence for her, that way silently stealing her only chance of escape.

'Good afternoon, Professor Snape,' she receives his welcome, thinking that if things get too bad, she can always resort to walking out.

'Your timetable is on my table,' he lets her know, gesturing to his right with his left hand.

It is strange, she notices, even though she does not stop moving towards him. He is standing where he has been since she entered, except, there is nothing about him that instils fear in her to be here. She would have thought that he would shut the door behind her and then verbally attack her. It does not look like he will do any of that today. He apparently only needs her to get her timetable, which means that what? After all that she's done to him, he still wants her to brew potions?

'Professor,' she feels a deep frown form on her face as a result of her incomprehension. 'I wasn't aware that I was still allowed to continue my brewing.'

'Narrate to me why you came to that assumption,' is his slow response, precisely like a man unbothered by the tone of the conversation.

Is he really unbothered? Or does he not remember-

'What I did last term, Professor,' she reminds him, her incomprehension increasing.

'What did you do last term?'

Again, although the emphasis had been put on the questioning word, and not the pronoun indicative of her, he remains unbothered. His whole stature is one of a person not affected by what they are discussing. He is not appearing so much as bored, just so much that he doesn't care. At all. It seems like he is only asking for the sake of asking, when really, his heart is not in it. He is confusing her with that attitude of his, and she's bound to get irritated soon.

'I pushed you,' she replies, deliberately forgetting to add 'Professor,' hoping that it will spark him to have more of an active interest in the conversation.

'Excellent, Miss Granger,' he says, actually starting to congratulate her, clapping his hands twice in celebration. 'Now that that is out of the way, narrate to me why you came to the assumption that you couldn't continue to brew potions.'

This man, she simply does not understand.

She is a student, no, a person who's usually able to easily understand things as they arise, but this man that is Professor Snape, at the moment, she cannot understand in the least. To her, it feels and sounds like he's not affected by what she did, when he should be. If he truly is not affected by what she did, then his not bothered attitude makes all the more sense now. Still, though… Had someone pushed her the way that she had done to him, she would have been plotting her revenge against them until she got it. She is simply vindictive that way.

But apparently, Professor Snape is not as vindictive a person as she believed him to be. He cannot be, unless he's pretending. Here he is, dismissing what she did, if it's as something insignificant to him. Now that she thinks about it, he never did confront her about the attack on him that one time with Sirius and Professor Lupin. Maybe, he just likes it when he's attacked… Maybe like a secret love of his, is to be treated like he can be mistreated? Anyway, that does not make her any less confused, and neither does it make her understand his congratulatory clap.

'I pushed you, Professor,' she slowly repeats, just to make sure that he got that very important part.

'You once knocked me out in the Shrieking Shack as well,' he evenly says, making it sound like nothing of importance. 'I remember, Miss Granger. And as I said, that is out of the way, and here we are. Answer my question.'

There is nothing unclear about what he said, absolutely nothing. She just has no idea what to say to that. There's a silence that naturally follows his dismissal, where he looks at her, waiting, and she just… She has no idea what to say.

'If not,' he speaks once he realises that she is not going to say anything in response, 'get your timetable and be on your way. I have no time for this. I will not continue to be a holder of your timetable.'

So wait…

When he mentioned her timetable that first time, he only meant that she should get it, because she left him with it in the Great Hall? He was not referring to the fact that he claimed her free periods for himself? He means to say that all these days that she has been having Potions, he could have handed her the timetable, he only chose not to? Then what, some magical ghost please whisper in her ear, was that all about in the Great Hall?

But fine, if he wants his answer, she will give it to him!

'I thought Professor was angry with me,' she begins, 'and I didn't want to ask you for a privilege that I was no longer deserving of.'

'Deserving, you say?' he scoffs so much louder than she has ever heard come from his mouth. 'You never were deserving to brew potions. Perhaps you forgot how you came to brew potions in the first place?'

Feeling challenge, as though he is testing her duelling abilities, she hotly responds with, 'I did not, Professor.'

And how can she forget it! He reminds her at every turn that she is the one who came to him and asked him to brew potions outside of class. He evidently only accepted her request, so that he could throw it in her face at every single turn.

'Then...' he maintains, taking only a single step to her, 'Expel from your mind that you were ever deserving to be here! I should not like to be bothered to explain the difference between begging and privilege to you.'

'I don't need you to,' she quickly retorts, taking a step towards him as he lead her with his example.

She shouldn't have said that. Now only she realise that, because well... That was not a very savoury way to answer a teacher, but it's his fault anyway. She wouldn't have felt the need to answer him that way, if he wasn't attempting to make her feel stupid, and like everything is her fault!

He is just so infuriating! He makes her want to shake him!

'Professor, I don't understand you,' she mentions, shaking her head just a little bit. 'In the Hall, I was under the impression that you were chastising me for not showing up to brew since school began. Now you-'

'Implying that I need you to brew for me, are you?'

'No,' strongly leaps from her tongue. 'I just don't understand why you said that to me, if you don't want me to brew for you.'

Harry maintains that she he only wants her to brew for him, and he's not helping her thinking that way, by denying an accusation that was never made. He can admit it, he knows. Now that he is a member of the Order, it's all right to accept he needs help with some more potions. As she worked with him previously, it's all right for him to say that it's easier to have her help.

'Need I remind you, Miss Granger, that it was your choice to be here? That it was your request to me, to be here, if you recall, not mine?'

Magic! How many more times is he going to repeat that to her?!

'No. I said no already,' she snaps, tightly pursing her lips.

'Oh?' he sounds to be mocking her answer. 'I shouldn't need to remind you then, that whether you give up or not, should be no concern of mine?'

'You asked for my timetable,' she begins to list. 'You made me feel like I was wrong for not coming back to you. You're questioning me right now. How can you say that you aren't bothered?'

'Nonsense question!' he disputes. 'I can say that, because it's so!'

How does he always make her so annoyed when they are alone? And then angry? She liked it better, when he would just leave her instructions on what to brew, and left it at that. Or better yet, when he only focused on her for two seconds in class, only long enough to hurt her with his words. How can he just stand there, looking at her, and using a dangerously soft tone, that is just perfect to ignite her dislike of what is going on between them at the moment? Also, how can he-

'Hem-hem!'

Excellent, her mind hurriedly thinks, just excellent! That sound is precisely the one that she needed to hear the most, in the moment when she wanted to explode the most. It honestly could not have been any other sound than that one? Her eyes close for a brief moment, as she bites the inside of her mouth, to keep herself together on the outside. She has no hope for her inside, no, that part of her is too far down in an unpleasant place somewhere to be composed. Especially with the new addition for company.

This will surely just get better from here.

Short, very deliberate footsteps –nine in total- sound in the air, indicating the approaching closeness of the witch that no one, but Filch seems to appreciate in the school. She is sorely tempted to open her eyes during the wait, but she fights the temptation. If she is to make her outside look composed, she is to behave in such a way that does not give her inside emotions away.

'Professor Snape?' the fake and soft voice of Umbridge speaks.

'Yes?' he answers almost instantly, as if he wants her to deal with her mission and then be on her way from his presence.

'And...' she says that one word and then pauses, only to continue with, 'Miss Granger, is it?'

'It is,' he quickly answers the other teacher again.

Surprise does not begin to describe her feelings at that, but she can somewhat say that a portion of surprise is why she prematurely opens her eyes to look at him. He seems to be defending her. Not really, but in a... She can't place her finger on it, but he seems to want Umbridge away from her, from them.

'I believe that I was speaking to the student, Professor Snape,' Umbridge softly says, but her voice fools no one.

Neither Snape, nor she, are daft enough to believe that she isn't threatening them in a way. She can at least tell by now looking at Snape, that he too isn't impressed by the witch's presence. Whatever her reason for coming here, neither of them would prefer that she dallies around it.

'Were you?' he questions, one eyebrow raised only for he knows what. 'My apologies, then.'

'No matter,' Umbridge elegantly waves it away with her small hand. 'Would you ask her to give me a moment with you, Professor Snape?'

Would Umbridge dare to ask her to leave herself? Why does she need Snape to get that question heard, when clearly all three of them heard it, and know precisely who is being referred to? In any case, Snape shifts his eyes from Umbridge to her, and then looks away from her. Unlike with Umbridge, with Snape she feels that she doesn't need to be asked twice, so she immediately begins to leave.

'Twenty points from Gryffindor, Miss Granger,' escorts her steps to the door.

What?

She nearly stops her in steps, but she quickly reminds herself that part of being composed on the outside, is pretending that she's put together. She must continue to walk on. But oh, magic mark her words, she will start working on hexes; she swears it. If she has to make modifications here and there to existing spells, she'll do it, and then one day, one glorious and vengeful day, she'll hex one of the two people that she is leaving in the room.


26Chapters


That woman. That witch. That vile, pink, short monster.

Defence Against The Darks Arts has become a caricature of a Muggle clown. A Muggle clown is even less of a joke than the subject has become. That vile witch is refusing to teach them nothing. And worst of all, she's even refusing to believe that Voldemort is back, when he clearly is back, waiting and looking for lives to ruin.

Any person with a brain knows that while great magicians are capable of much, it is in strategy that they best thrive, but clearly Umbridge has no brains! If Voldemort is even a fraction of what they say he is, of course he will be in his... His whatever he lives in, using coloured papers and highlighter markers... No, those are Muggle things, he wouldn't use Muggle things, would he? No, he's most likely to be using the air and his wand to draw out his formulas in Ancient Runes, for guaranteed success.

'She's going to ruin the entire school,' she passionately outrages to Harry and Ron. 'And, she'll get us all killed by Voldemort.'

'Not with Dumbledore around,' Harry says.

Looking at him from her notes of the day, she can easily think that he's right about Dumbledore, it's only that they are talking about Umbridge not teaching them anything when she should be.

'Dumbledore's hardly around these days,' Ron reminds them.

'Ron's right. And think about it, Harry,' she tells him specifically. 'Voldemort lost to a baby the previous time. Do you really believe that he will be as stupid as to act without a plan this time? All Umbridge is doing, is giving him the perfect opportunity to form a plan of attack, without us being prepared for it.'

'There's nothing we can do about it, Hermione,' Harry tells her seriously. 'If Dumbledore's not even here to defend the school, and he's the Headmaster, what are we going to do? You said it yourself, the Ministry's interfering in Hogwarts business, so what can we do?'

She thinks about Harry's bitter words for a moment, even daring to cover her notes with her hand. While he does have a point, that there is nothing that they can do, there has to be something that they can do. Everyone else may be content with getting base and useless Defence knowledge, but not her. She cannot keep allowing this. She just... She needs to think.

'I don't know, Harry,' her head shakes a little, 'but she's not teaching us anything. That worries me. You do realise that we have to take our O.W.L.s this year, don't you? How are we supposed to take our exams with an incomplete curriculum?'

'I'm not complaining,' Ron sheepishly says. 'I say, let's just write two chapters per exam.'

Typical of Ron to make that statement, he doesn't care as much as he should about his studies. She wonders where he thinks that will get him in life.

'I'm sure that will help you be an Auror one day.'

'Hey,' Ron throws up his hands in surrender, 'all I have to do is pass the exam.'

At the most frustrating times, Ronald has the ability to annoy her, but she cannot deny that he is a needed distraction in the group. He can be serious, but for the most part, he chooses not to be, and for the most part, that is a good thing, because it lightly distracts her from her worries, just so she can focus on telling him just how much he annoys her. She likes her friends, and she would honestly never change them.

'Ron's right, Hermione,' Harry agrees, smiling. 'All we have to do is pass the exam.'

At that, she rolls her eyes, accepting that she might as well give in and stop complaining about Umbridge and the Ministry interfering at Hogwarts. At another time, in her own time, she can think about Umbridge, and how she can get around to learning real Defence.


26Chapters


When the first Hogsmeade weekend happens, she's quite nervous. More than quite, to be honest. It's that before the weekend, it had only been a well thought out plan in her head. It hadn't been the actual carrying out of the plan, as it is now.

In the Muggle films and novels, she's always read of nervousness being described in a way, and although she could connect to the characters experiencing such feelings, it was never something like it is now. No sweating palms, no over beating heart necessarily, but that distinct feeling of fear that a teacher will show up at any time. And that urge that she must fight, to keep her eyes away from the door, in the suspicion that something will happen to give her rule breaking away...

This is really serious. She is, for all that is real in the world, deliberately, on purpose, organising a committee of students who will break the school rules with her. Oh dear... She hopes that no one finds out about this.

Okay, well, she made it this far, lining people up this way, so there's absolutely no turning around now. Most of her spells are perfected, and… And she's trying to distract herself from the fact that she is honestly, willingly, not forced by anyone, breaking the rules. She's deserving of losing house points where she stands, but no, where is Snape now? Where he is to take away points when it matters?

And thinking of him… She's honestly, been wondering about Professor Snape in the small snippets here and there. During class, in between meals, before bedtime… Nothing serious, just small snippets of insignificance in her life. Daily. For three weeks. But who's keeping count, right? She's not. And she's nearly positive that Snape is doing no such thing either. So, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all.

Umbridge prematurely ended their discussion, those three weeks ago, but it has not been of importance to her that they never finished, and she never got her timetable back (even though she has no need of it). If he has not come back to her for this long, she will not go to him either. She has enough on her plate as it is, with breaking rules and ducking under the skirts of Umbridge. And anyway, no, brewing can wait. She has no obligation to him. She has no obligation to keep brewing potions either. He was the one who said that if she wanted to end the lessons, she would simply have to tell him-

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

How could she have been so stupid?

Of course, that was what he was on about in the Hall. That variation of, 'Say what you need to say to me,' was really him expecting her to verbally end the brewing as he specified in the beginning. It's only coming to her now, that he really has no interest in her brewing or not. Seeing as she just days ago perfected the charm of an unsuspecting binding oath, if he did what she suspects that he did with that agreement of hers, then she quite literally does need to verbally end it with him.

Oh, how wonderful. This realisation just had to come to her when she is in the middle of something. It couldn't have come at any other time, say, when she was perfecting the charm on the communication method that she has come up with?'

Ugh, she swears, Snape is turning out to be a bother to her.

Well, let him suffer for it, in that case. When he can't bear to keep ignoring her about their unfinished discussion, he'll be forced to come to her. Surely, he will be forced to come to her, and only when he does, will she break it off with him. It's that easy.

She hopes.