Chapter 14
History Of Magic being the last class of the day, she should be more occupied with her thoughts, wondering what it really is that Snape wants from her tonight. Yes, Snape, she repeats in her head. She's no longer going attempting to fool herself by calling him Professor in her head, because at this point, she's no longer attempting to not rile him up, seeing as she apparently does that for no reason, whenever he feels bored and is in need of entertainment.
Anyway, instead of feeding herself reasons as to why Snape might be calling for her tonight, she's looking around the classroom, hoping to land her eyes on a particular head, with particularly red hair. Her mind knows that had that head been in the classroom, it would be situated between him and Harry, but still, her eyes search for him with worry. It's already been ten minutes since Professor Binns started the lesson, and Ron has not made an appearance yet.
'Where's Ronald?' she asks Harry, her eyes refusing to stop going all around the classroom.
For all she knows, Ron could have been caught by Umbridge, and by now, is doing who-knows-what horrendous acts under her dictatorial supervision.
'I don't know,' Harry replies.
'He should be here by now,' she insists as much as her worry insists to be within her.
'He'll come,' Harry says, although, he doesn't seem to really put his heart into the assurance.
A moment later, when Harry speaks something that she had not been expecting him to say at this particular time (when he should be worried that his friend is not here with them), gives her an understanding of why his heart had not been set in convincing her not to worry about Ron's absence.
'Hermione, you know how Dumbledore told me that I would have Occlumency with Snape?'
'Yes,' she nods, doing her best to fight the urge to keep looking around and give Harry the attention that he so clearly wants. 'What about it?'
'Snape sent someone to tell me that we will start tonight,' is Harry's explanation to her question.
Mostly because she's growing tired of caring so much about that boy, Ronald, when he cannot make the effort to be worried for himself when it comes to school, she looks at Harry with keen interest. While, yes, even she has to admit the strangeness in that Snape is willing to help Harry, it's a great thing that Harry will finally get to start his lessons on something wonderfully helpful.
'That's a good thing,' she softly congratulates. 'You won't have to see what Voldemort's thinking all the time anymore.'
'It's not all the time, Hermione.'
Taking the joke for the light tension easer that it is, she softly slaps his shoulder as she fights a small smile from showing on her face.
'The point is, you need it, Harry. I'm worried about you.'
The last sentence, she speaks in a strained tone, one that she didn't want to use, just so not to make him feel worse than he already feels, but also one that she could not help it use. She worries about him so much, especially with Voldemort on the loose, and Umbridge playing his advocate in mild tones.
'Don't be,' he shakes his head. 'I'm fine.'
'I'm worried anyway,' she says. 'And I envy you a little bit. I wish I could have Occlumency too. It's rather a handy defensive technique to have, isn't it? Maybe you could teach us that in DA as well.'
Snape told her to meet him tonight as well, just as he did Harry, but she knows that they are likely to be in separate places. Or, if not that, she will no doubt arrive an hour later than his lessons, so that completely rules out the option of her learning, even by second hand, the basics involved in Occlumency. Considering how he had hedged around with her when it came to her brewing, there remains absolutely no hope of her switching out potions for Occlumency. Harry will be the next best thing, she knows.
'I guess,' Harry answer through scratching his head. 'But does it have to be with Snape, though? I don't want him poking around in my mind.'
'For the last time, Harry,' she cries, stopping just short of rolling her eyes, 'Snape's on our side.'
She says for the last time, but in reality, she knows that for as long as Harry is not convinced of the fact, she will have to keep defending Snape to him. Mind you, she is not his biggest supporter, but Snape once (and quite recently) told her that she has no idea of what he goes through, which can only mean that he has his own burdens to bear, outside of what he makes visible at school.
'He's a Voldemort supporter, I just know it, Hermione,' Harry expels with surprisingly tame anger.
Her heart feels like it skips a beat at the mention of Snape being a Voldemort supporter. It feels that way, because her whole body goes rigid, and she hears nothing but silence following Harry's accusation. She has seen the Mark branding his skin, and she has looked at the proof or servitude on Snape's arm and she has not told a soul about that, to this day. What would Harry say if he somehow discovered that she knew about Snape's Mark all along, and still continued to defend him? Would she lose his trust? Would he name her as Snape's supporter, inadvertently making her a supporter of Voldemort?
Suddenly, a movement on her left pushes her out of the fears in her head, making her head turn that way, to find out what it is that made a move on her side. She finds that it's Ronald, taking a seat next to her, and mostly to jolt herself out of what she had been thinking, she quickly grabs a book from the desk and hits the back of Ron's head with it.
'Oi!' he cries, his hand going behind his head to rub the effect away. 'What'd you do that for?'
'You're late to class,' she scolds.
'It's History of Magic,' Ron says, like it's the most logical reason there is to his being late.
'It's still a class that you have to pass, Ronald!'
'You were talking with Harry just now,' he tries to defend himself. 'How is that any different with me being late?'
Fair point, she takes the time to think. But still, she and Harry weren't just making idle nonsense talk about nothing; she'll have him know that.
'We were talking about Harry finally having Occlumency with Snape.'
His eyes going so wide that they could pop if he dared to attempt it, Ron emits a loud, rather incredulous, 'Finally?' which makes everyone else in class turn their way.
She could just scream at the situation. Receiving annoyed looks from her classmates, feeling the effect of that, and being partly responsible for Professor Binns looking over at them.
'Pay attention, you three over there,' Professor Binns admonishes and then goes right back to teaching in his usual way.
26Chapters
Later that night, she carefully gets to Snape's twenty minutes earlier than he had told her. Although she doesn't know what to expect tonight, she quietly enters the room, feeling no need to knock and announce herself. Upon entering, having taken no more than two steps inside the room, she sees him sitting at his desk, not particularly waiting, just sitting, she would say.
'Good evening, Professor,' she greets him only to be decent, immediately following it with the question, 'Will I be brewing?'
'No,' calmly leaves his mouth.
Well, that doesn't help her much. Not that she expected anything different from when she'd asked him the first time, but he is the one who called her to be here. She won't give up, not when she's already here.
'But Professor-'
Without meaning or thinking to, she hastily shuts her mouth when he begins to slowly rise from his chair with his eyes keenly set on hers. Brilliant, she chides herself for having been so stupid, he's going to do that again, where he stares at her until her curiosity can no longer take it. She's heavily going to regret having come early. And really, she might as well get it out of the way, seeing as he will keep staring at her until he gets the response that he wants.
'I only wondered if I would be brewing potions,' she tells him.
He says nothing to her, which is not all that surprising, although, the simple box, metallic looking and seemingly varnished, which he suddenly produces in his hand does intrigue her. Carefully, she studies it from where she is, concluding that it must hold something of value within it. As he eases it out of his hand onto his desk, she follows it for a moment before her eyes travel up to his face.
Why, he!
He's been waiting for this. That satisfied look on his face says it all to her. Like an idiot, she fell right into his trap, doing exactly what he had planned for her to do, to end up right where he wanted her. She can't say what's more infuriating, that she fell into his trap or that he's beginning to know her better than he ought to!
'Miss Granger,' he says, his voice a steady flow of sound, 'Your House will sorely regret any attempt that you make to ask me anything other than waiting for me to disclose to you the reason that I called you here for.'
She was right, this has been his plan all along. That's all well and fine, she thinks as her eyes keep on him. He's allowed to do as he pleases, however, he shouldn't expect that she'll follow whatever part he's concocted for her inside his mind. He'll see, she'll hold her ground, take a seat without being invited to and not say a single word to him until he speaks to her again.
In silence, she sits at the desk, feeling his eyes on her from where he's standing. He might very well say something cutting to her, she knows, but as long as she doesn't speak to him, he's not likely to say anything. Choosing to forget about him and rather do some revising in her head, she easily gets lost in that, forgetting about him too quickly. It's the sound of her name, said with a hint of shocked surprise, as a question even, that makes her sharply look up. In looking up, her eyes immediately going to the door, she sees Harry standing there.
'Harry!' she exclaims with even more surprise than his. 'What are you doing here?'
'Occlumency, remember?' he reminds her. 'What are you doing here?'
Yes, she remembers that he was to have Occlumency tonight, but he never did tell her what time the lesson would start. She also never thought that Snape would have them here together, at the same time. Wanting him to be the one who answers the question that she can't, she looks at Snape and finds his eyes waiting for her. As their eyes meet, she gets the clearest sense that no, he will not reveal anything to the two of them, the slight pulling of one corner of his lips tells her that much.
'You're late, Potter!' dryly leaves his mouth, but to her, it cements the fact that he will not for any reason sate her curiosity in the least.
'I'm not,' hotly leaves Harry's mouth.
It's just like Harry to answer that way, she thinks while looking back at her friend and silently hoping that he does nothing that will get their House points taken away.
'I suggest...' Snape begins, pausing only a portion of a moment to continue with, 'That you choose your words and tones very carefully, Potter.'
In Snape terms, to 'suggest' is actually to threaten against doing something of the same nature again, while in his presence. Hermione knows that and so does Harry, for he nods.
'I expect this to be a complete waste of my time,' Snape begrudgingly says, 'but as the Headmaster deems it fit that you learn the art of Occlumency, my hand is forced to attempt to teach you something that you are most likely not capable of grasping.'
Does he have to be so rude about it? Before they've even begun, he's already discouraging Harry. He's setting the expectation too high, just so that Harry can go into the lessons in the mind to fail. If she were Harry, she'd take the challenge wholeheartedly on.
'I shall do my part, however,' he continues to say, 'and as such, no party will ever be able to say that I did not fulfil my part.'
Please, please, please prove him wrong, Harry.
She makes that silent prayer for him, just a syllable short of Snape beginning with what Voldemort ā the Dark Lord - used to do to people in the olden days. How he liked to torture them, until they could take no more. How he drew every single thing from their minds, until they were naked and empty to him, and then only he would make them beg to be killed. She finds his utterance interesting, really. He speaks like one who has intimate knowledge of what it's like to be on the other side of being helpless, and seeking relief, like he has a rather deep understanding of the effects that go with such dark uses of magic. And maybe he does, he does have that Mark on his arm, after all. He most probably does know what it's like ā she'll pay proper attention to him during this lesson; it's not as though she has anything else to do.
Only partly aware of what she's doing, she gets up from her seat and walks to where Harry and Snape are, keeping her ears fixed on his very words. At the part where Snape explains to Harry what he'll be attempting to do and what Harry must attempt to do in return, she takes her place to the side and middle of either of them. Only Snape spares her a quick look, saying nothing about her chosen position as he draws out his wand to point at Harry. Harry, who probably doesn't like the idea of Snape having his wand out on him, doesn't dare look at her, instead drawing out his own wand as though in challenge.
'Legilimens,' Snape commands following the drawing of Harry's wand.
Seemingly taken by surprised and unprepared, Harry is unable to keep Snape from his mind. It looks to her like Snape is easily able to get into Harry's mind, but she can't really blame her friend for not being prepared to block him. Actually, no, if she's being honest, she can put some blame on him for not doing the research on what Occlumency is about. As soon as Harry had mentioned it to her, she'd done her share of light reading on the subject. Harry should have prepared as she did, and then maybe he wouldn't have been caught off guard like this.
It's nothing spectacular, watching Harry's mind be invaded. If she wasn't aware of the magic between the two of them, she'd simply conclude that the two wizards were staring at each other with their wands drawn out. From what she remembers, Occlumency can even be done without a wand, which would make it even harder for an outsider to understand immediately. Only when Snape withdraws from Harry's mind does something interesting happen, where Harry scrambles away from their professor. Hurriedly, he moves a safe distance away from her and Snape, dropping his wand arm and looking rather lost and confused.
'Are you all right, Harry?' she asks in concern.
'I'm fine,' he tightly responds, to which Snape snorts. 'But my memories are private, Sna- Professor!'
'If you don't master Occlumency, then they are not,' Snape softly bites back.
'Just don't look into them,' Harry half shouts.
'Ha! I see that ridiculous cry going over very well with the Dark Lord, Potter! Your whines will certainly appeal to him, and he will back away from seeing you pine after a girl who has no interest in you!'
'That's none of your business!'
'I look as though that bothers me, no doubt,' Snape mocks, audibly bored in his tone.
'Just don't look into them!'
She loves Harry. Really, she does, and she would normally support him when he needs it, but he knows as well as she does, that when he's in the wrong, she doesn't hesitate to correct him. In this case, she somehow can sympathise with him, that his memories are his own, but on the other hand, Occlumency would not be what it is, if Snape didn't attempt to go into his mind. Snape is completely right in what he's doing in Harry's mind, she's afraid. It's only that she feels that she shouldn't be here, witnessing something that Harry is uncomfortable with, especially when she is not against it.
'Professor?' she tentatively calls, facing him. 'I will just leave now.'
At her announcement, as quickly as lightning strikes, both of them turn to her, respectively saying, 'Stay, Hermione!' and 'No!' together. Their unfiltered pleas of emotions, quite unexpected by her, command her to the spot with their desperation. Physically, she doubts her ability to leave when she's as rigid with shock as she is. They frightened her!
'But Iā¦' she tries to say, only she's not able to get much further than those to words.
Not only did they frighten her, she thinks as she stares back at their urgent expressions, they're also now staring at her as though she's gone mad to even think about leaving them alone. How dare they think her mad for not wanting to be here! It isn't her fault that they're upset with each other, and how dare they speak to her that way, as if she made the choice to be here!
'Discipline your reaction, Miss Granger,' Snape warns, apparently reading the budding outrage on her face. 'You are not leaving. And you will not react as you are so looking to do. Believe me, this is not such a time where I will be tolerant. Stand there and continue with your purpose for being here.'
After that, barely giving her time to 'discipline her reaction', he harshly turns to Harry, cruelly pointing his wand at him as though challenging him to a duel. From his mouth, he suddenly spits the words, 'Again, Potter! Legilimens!' not giving Harry time to prepare. It upsets her greatly that he once again takes Harry by surprise, just as much as Harry upsets her for not learning to be prepared in the face of Snape.
They are both inconsiderate, really.
Harry is that, for not realising that in the real world, he can't get away with pleading that his memories are private, thus being so readily available for the attack that upsets her so. Snape is so, for making her watch their discord. She'd been considerate enough to give them the privacy to argue, but they both ordered her to stay, as if her presence would do something for them. Harry, she can understand not wanting to be alone with Snape, but Snape, she can't understand.
This is truly the worst, but she's unfortunately stuck here with them until the end.
26Chapters
'Why did it have to be Snape?' Harry asks as they walk back to their House dormitory from the lesson.
'Why did I have to be there?' she wants to know as well.
'You brew for him, Hermione.'
'But I do that during the day, not night. I felt really uncomfortable being there.'
Quite truthfully, she'd felt more than uncomfortable. There had been the anger for being treated as a pacifier between the two of them, and then there'd been impatience that came from being forced to be in a lesson, while not actively participating in it.
'It's better for me that you are there,' he says. 'I don't want to be alone with him.'
She only looks at him, because while she understands that about him, she does not like being used in this way. Neither by him, nor by Snape.
'And Snape wants you there,' he says again. 'He wouldn't make you stay, if he didn't.'
Again, she gives him a look, making the choice to disregard his words, because quite honestly, that about Snape, is not particularly what she wants to be told. There has to be a reason for him supposedly wanting her there. Unless he's trying to prove a point to her, there's no other reason for her to be in there. When she remembers all the times that he's told her that Harry is nothing, he is most likely using these lessons as a way to teach her that he's really not.
Whatever his reason is, she'll arrive an hour earlier for the next lesson, just to see what he'll do.
