Author's Notes

I figured out why I don't enjoy writing, or finish anything anymore. I'm just not writing the kind of stuff I wanna write. This is an attempt to remedy. We'll see if I can actually finish something for once.

M rating for implied sexual themes, explicit depictions of violence, strong language, the usual.

Sorry if things are weird or hard to read and stuff. I've been tired lately.

Dusty, blond paws bounded along the planks of the floor. The scratchy, graceful locomotion had its echoes drowned out by the cacophony of fellow pokémon dashing alongside.

Ample vulpine ears swiveled across their barer's head. His determined red eyes swept the landscape, only briefly focusing now and then. A tattered turquoise cape flowed behind him, with numerous stitches and patches adorning its surface. His silent surveillance continued for several moments, until...

"Tart!" called the bounding fox. A minccino was then locked in his sight, who turned to face him upon hearing his call. She was similarly garbed to the fire-type, bearing a flowing yellow cape to match her bright, lemony eyes.

The minccino's glum frown turned to a slightly less glum frown as her friend came into view. She shifted the trajectory of her forward movement, then padding alongside the slightly taller fire-type. Her silvery fur practically shone in the light, in contrast to the fennekin's own matte.

"Good day to you, Shallot," greeted Tart. "Are you doing well this evening?"

"I am, thank'ye!" Shallot took a brief pause to brush his cheek against the minccino's own. Her neat and tidy furs mingled with his rough and mangy cheeks. Despite the perturbed expression briefly taking to Tart's face, she nuzzled back into her friend's grimy touch. "How about you, Poptart? Day been treatin' ye' good-like?"

"It has, indeed. Your concern is much appreciated."

"It ain't a problem!"

The conversation soon fell into a lul; the two carried on in a comfortable quiet. Shallot's tail gave an occasional swish when he glanced over to the well-groomed minccino next to him. Tart maintained a facade of relative disinterest, however couldn't help smiling just slightly.

The crowd of pokémon funneled out an open pair of doors onto a sprawling field of sand. The set-sun's rays stretched above the horizon in one final display of brilliance, painting the heavens with haunting streaks of blue and violet. The sounds of laughs, cries, speech, and tumbling bodies all weaved in and out of each other; an organic chorus of bustling activity.

Many pokémon walked, played, and talked with each other, all varied in size, age, and species. A chilling breeze swept over the slowly darkening landscape; carried with it were comforting scents of woods and earth.

A hint of a smirk twitched at Shallot's lips as his eyes locked on Tart. Her gaze was set straight ahead, not paying all too much attention to her companion. The fennekin's tail gave an eager flick, his posture lowering as he began to trail behind.

Tart hummed a soft, melodic tune to herself. Each beat fell on the third pawstep. As her vocal melody approached its crescendo, it was promptly cut off with a surprised squeal. She felt a weight impact her from behind, sending her sprawling forward head-over-paws.

A tumbling mass of fur and fabric rolled through the gathering of pokémon. She kicked, pushed, and writhed against her attacker as her world span, with them returning the treatment eagerly.

Tart unleashed a thunderbolt into her assailant's back, who was in turned quickly tossed from her body. Her paws skidded through the sand as she fought to regain footing, before pouncing upon her downed target.

Instead of dodging as she had predicted, the pokémon leapt into Tart's advance. They grappled mid-air. The two spun back toward the ground.

The tumbling bodies came to a stop a couple meters later. Tart laid sprawled out on her back, with Shallot's paws falling to hold down her arms.

"Gwahaha! Pinned ya', Poptart!" Shallot laughed.

Tart gave a long whine in response.

"Shal-LOT! You have, for sure, made a dust mess of my radiant fur!" she glared up at him, teeth bared in a display of aggression. She couldn't keep her lips from curling into a grin, however.

"Haha... Sorry 'bout that..." Shallot stepped off from the sandy norma-type, allowing her to stand. He assisted in dusting her off with his tail.

"Apology accepted. However! You are required to assist me in the restoration of my perfect physique upon arrival home."

"Yeah, yeah. Who's house we stayin' at tonight? And, are Relish n' Garlic comin'? Didn't see em' at lunch, today. Didn't see Salami either, now that'm thinkin' about it. And, it's a week-day, so Dan's likely got work."

"It is Relish and Garlic's night, I do believe, however I'm afraid they have become afflicted with a nasty ailment. Salami, I am unsure of."

"Tsk, talk about LAME. Their loss."

"Quite. My parents are to be busy this night, so we shall come to reside at the abode of your bloodline."

"Gotcha', hun'. Let's check on outta' here then, aye? Most about everyone else's gone by now."

They set off walking, paws soon enough meeting concrete. A canopy of green soon came in from above, obscuring what little light remained from the twilight sky.

"'Hun'? My my, Shally-dearest. Are you coming on to me? You know my parents would nay approve."

Shallot blinked.

"Just a term of endearment, y'see! Ma' calls me hun' all the time, t'ain't like that."

Tart barked a laugh, bumping into the flustered fox's side.

"Fret not, Shallot, for I speak merely in jest! Though, I must confess, the idea of an 'us' in the future is not one completely objectionable." A teasing smirk crossed Tart's muzzle, as she pressed her nose into the side of Shallot's neck.

"B-b-bah! Tart, shut yer' trap!" A quiet cackle escaped the minccino's throat in response. Shallot, attempting to regain composure, soon shifted the subject. "Anyway... I suppose we've gotta start packin' supplies n' stuff soon, aye? In just a couple days, all of our hard work will have finaly paid off."

"Indeed so. It is a bit surreal, I will confess. It feels as if mere minutes ago we were all but small children, first getting that silly little idea. To become real superheroes? How foolish! However, we did commit, and... I suppose this isn't exactly what we had planned all those years ago, however it is quite close, no?"

"Are you kidding? It's pretty much exactly th' same! It'll be our literal job to go out n' fight bad guys! Sounds like superheroing to me, at least."

"I suppose you do have a point. These... er... charming capes you and your mother have crafted for us only help to seal the deal."

"Just funny that we've committed t' wearin' em', aye? Even with all th' looks we get, 'specially after middle school."

"I suppose it is quite difficult to drop a habit once picked up, no? I shall remain a caped crusader for as long as we stand united. I must confess, however, mother says I look ridiculous."

"Gwahaha! I suppose you're right! We'll see who's ridiculous when we're dishin' out a nice helpin' a' justice on crooks everywhere! Ridiculously awesome, maybe!"

The fennekin leapt into the air, briefly striking a pose with a leg outstretched in a kick. Tart put a paw to her muzzle, attempting to mask her giggles.

A relaxed sigh escaped the classy minccino's lips. Her coat hung low as a stream of cold water assaulted her form. Her muscles briefly tensed from the shock, though soon setting into a content relaxation.

"Real sorry we couldn't warm it much, Poptart. Water bill's been raised recently; can't afford it, none." The fire type squinted as he gazed around the dark room.

The worn, gray drywall was cracked and peeling, barely illuminated by the dim incandescent light affixed above the cracked mirror. The ceiling was stained with old water and mold, filling the room with a musty stench. Rest adorned the exposed plumbing, and wooden cabinets sat rotting with age.

The fennekin's gaze fell to the floor, his tail giving a displeased flick. A frown adorned his features.

His minccino companion soon looked out from the shower, staring expectantly.

"Shallot," she started. "You should really get in here and close the curtains before the floor becomes soaked, no?"

He gave a small sigh, though nodding. He placed his paws upon the side of the tub, before pulling himself in. His paws splashed down in the shallow layer of water on the bottom, never rising as it steadily flowed down the rusty drain.

Some of the grime in his fur began to wash away, though he couldn't really see it. As Tart closed the drapes of the shower, the two were left in near-complete darkness. Light peaked just above the bar above the side, illuminating the ceiling above.

An involuntary shiver ran down his spine upon feeling the cool water spraying along his form.

It had never bothered him before, so why then? He knew the answer.

"I'm just... sorry, Poptart."

"What for, Shallot? You have done not a thing wrong! Save for dirtying my divine appearance again, naturally."

Another sigh escaped Shallot's throat. He waved a paw around.

"For... This. Y'deserve better, really. And y'have better. Could be bathin' over at you or S'lami's house with all yer' fancy groomin' produce, but instead yer' stuck here with me, in this tiny, musty ol' room."

"Are you dwelling on this subject once more? Shallot, do not fret. Luxury is luxury, and it would be ludicrous to expect it everywhere. I am quite understanding of your situation; what sort of friend would I be to blame you for that which you can not help?"

Tart wrapped her wet arms around Shallot's back in a tight hug. He pressed his forehead to her's as he returned the gesture.

"It's just... What if I can do somethin'? If only I were a bit smarter or somethin', I could get inta' one a' those fancy prodigy schools. Get a good job, support the fam, and be worthy o' your friendship."

Shallot's paws fumbled about in the dark, before coming into contact with the object of his search. He squoze a cold, thick conditioner onto his paws, carefully rubbing it into his friend's fur.

"Oh, dolt! I've said it all before: I am not above anyone. If ever anyone requires you be worthy of their time, that is not friendship. Do not waste time, 'beating yourself up', so to speak."

Tart gave an occasional coo at the fennekin's touch. As he worked the agent into her fur, she set to work returning the gesture carefully.

"I-... Thank you, Tart. I just hope that, when we join th'guild, I'll be able ta' give m'family, and everyone else in this dump, the life they deserve."

The fire-type felt his large ears twitching. They were a bit sensitive to Tart's touch, though she managed to work in enough shampoo to clean the fur.

"It will all work out, my friend. Do not worry! We have come this far, and we cannot fail now. We are going to walk in there, register a team, and then life shall become simple!"

A small giggle came from Tart's maw. Shallot bore a look of mild irritation as he fought with her large, fluffy tail, attempting to get it all lathered up.

Neither party were being particularly conservitive in their touch. More than once, Tart felt a stray paw brush along the side of her rump, and her touch in turn lingering longer than strictly necessary on Shallot's inner thighs.

"So, um... While we're here, Shally, would you like to 'relieve stress'?"

Two clean, red-faced pokémon occupied the living room.

A minccino's chin rested upon her crossed arms, with her tail drooping over the edge of the chair. Her lazing gaze focused on the television. Her ear occasionally twitched at the sound of a crinkle and a crunch.

A fennekin rested on his back, sprawled out on a yellow sofa. His paw occasionally dipped into a bag of tortilla chips, plucking them out to scarf down noisily.

The blue light of the TV dimly illuminated the room, though still leaving all, save a decently sized circle left in darkness. Various night-time chirps and calls came in through the open window, accompanied by a chilling breeze. The old, musty carpet laid undisturbed.

"Your parents have usually returned home by this hour," came Tart's idle comment.

Shallot gave a noncommittal shrug.

"Don't think they expected me home t'night. Probably took my bro out into town."

"Quite likely. Shall we, 'raid the fridge', as they say? Or, perhaps I could 'call up a pie', hmm?"

"Okay, Tart, nobody in the history of ever has used the phrase 'call up a pie'."

"Haven't they? My cousin uses the phrase frequently."

Shallot shot up, shooting a glare at the normal-type..

"Bullshit!"

"I speak of only the truth!"

"There's no way. I guarantee they're just messing w'th ye'. T's even worse than 'ring up the cashy'."

"Still your tongue! 'Ring up the cashy' is 'cooler than ice's darkest of dreams'! I will die on this hill!"

A smug grin slowly crept upon Tart's lips.

"N'one talks like that! Any of that!"

"Utter nonsense, Shallot! You simply aren't as, 'hip with the blip', as I."

"Fuck you! What does that even mean?"

"Round two, so soon? My my, you truly are a prolific one."

"Just order the pizza, Tart."

"Do what, hmm?"

"No! I'm not saying it like that!"

"Truly criminal. Maybe someday!"

"Wait! N-no, please!"

"Your plea shall fall upon deaf ears! Kehehe!"

A wurmple's head turned to a bashful bow. It quivered helplessly in place as the larger eevee advanced toward it.

"You know the deal, kiddo. I said to hand it over, so ya' hand it over. Ain't too difficult, aye?"

"But it's mine!"

"Errt! Incorrect! Negatory! It was yours, but now it will be... belonging to me! Kehehe. Unless, that is, you wish to eat cement?"

"No, sir..."

"Very good. Drop it, and get movin' along."

The bug-type obediently released its object, letting it clatter to the floor. It quickly skittered away back down the alley.

The eevee advanced toward his prize. A gleeful smirk touched his muzzle as he scooped a silver ring into his bag.

He merrily climbed back into the heights of the town, beginning to advance along the rooftops. His eyes scanned across the landscape below, searching any and all relatively closed-off spaces for signs of life.

The moon's light did little to illuminate the area. The coarse cement appeared cloaked in a blanket of ink.

The eevee stood poised, ready to bound between rooftops, when he halted. A second figure stood opposed to him, just across the gap. He squinted his eyes to makeout the silhouette of a chespin, who was peering down into the pavement below.

"Yo," started the eevee. "That you, Pear?"

"Sure is, bud. Good haul tonight?"

"You bet! I've gotta have at least one-thousand poke in here."

"Cool, cool. Me too. Was thinking of hittin' just one more sucker before retiring. You can join in, if you want."

"Ahah! I suppose."

"Well, Lemon, it just so happens that the perfect target is right below us!"

The two friends peered over the edge. A pokémon could be seen below, dragging a hefty bag of trash.

Lemon's eyes flicked up to meet with Pear's, who nodded in agreement. The two leapt down to land on either side of their target; a second eevee. They gave a startled screech, jumping backwards.

"W-w-wait! No! D-... Don't hurt me!" cried the eevee.

Pear took on a sadistic grin, however Lemon's eyes widened in surprise. He put a paw out to block Pear's advances, who shot him an annoyed look.

"Pear, no!"

"What? What's the matter?"

"That's Waf'! We can't hurt Waf'."

Pear turned back to look over the other eevee, recognition filling his eyes.

"Ah, of course. Your boyfriend."

"Waffle is not my boyfriend!"

Waffle blinked confusedly. He brushed a tear from his eye with a paw, glancing between the two pokémon before him.

"L-L-Lemon? P-Pear?"

They turned back to their forgotten target. The chespin crossed his arms with a huff, while Lemon advanced forward with a grin.

"Hi Waffle!" called Lemon. He nuzzled up against the other eevee's cheek. Waffle froze up briefly, his face filled with red.

"H-h-h-hi..."

"Yeah, you two have fun. I've got more money to make."

Lemon and Waffle turned to see that Pear had disappeared. Their gazes soon returned to one-another, Waffle's nervous with Lemon's being giddy.

"What're you doing out here so late, bud?"

"J-j-just taking... Out... The t-trash..."

"T'ain't worth it! What if you got robbed?"

"W-w-why do you care? You r-r-rob pokémon all t-the time!"

"Yeah, well, sucks for them. C'mon, Waffle! Let's get you home."

Lemon lifted up the previously forgotten trash-bag, hurtling it into the dumpster. He then turned to walk out of the alleyway. Waffle quickly scampered to catch up.

"Lemon... You should really s-stop doing t-t-this..."

"Oh, spare me, Waf'. Gotta make money somehow!"

"M-maybe come work at the d-diner? I c-could put a good word in... For... A friend..."

"Oh, you're so sweet, Waf'." an elated purr escaped Lemon's throat. He nuzzled carefully against the other eevee's cheek, which heated up in response. A long whine escaped his throat. "I'll have to decline, however! Your parents don't like our friendship as is, so I doubt they'd wanna encourage it."

Waffle's nervous quiver soon turned to a scowl.

"Well, Lemon, maybe if you weren't a criminal they wouldn't care so much!" His demeanor softened a bit, his tail flicking slowly. "Y-you're gonna get hurt one of these days, Lemon. I just... Don't w-wanna see that. "

"I'll be fine, kehehe! You could come with me if you care so much, though."

"Out of the question!"

"Hehe... Just teasin', of course. It's... not feasible anyway, due to some current circumstances."

"W-what?"

The two brown pokémon padded along in relative silence. Only the quiet howling of the late-night breeze graced their ears. A red-brick building came into view upon rounding a corner. They stopped out front, taking seats on the patio chairs.

"Waffle..."

"Hmm?"

"I'm leavin' town, soon."

Waffle's gaze lingered on Lemon. His eyes widened. The eevee stood up suddenly.

"You can't!"

"Waffle... The guild's after me. I can't stay hidden forever. Our friendship can't keep yer parents' traps shut forever. Figure it's best to tell you I'm leavin' now instead of springing it on you last moment."

"But... But..."

"It's for the best, Waf'. I'm endangering myself, my friends, and my family, stickin' around here."

"M-maybe just stop stealin' things, and you won't have to leave!"

"No can do. The bandit's life chose me, and I can't just quit now! Kehehe. "

"...I'll miss you, Lemony."

"I'll miss you too."

The two embraced in a tight hug. Waffle couldn't hold back the tears.