Chapter I
The Knights of the Round Headquarters, Britannia…
Sir Suzaku Kururugi sat alone in a darkened conference room, the only light within was from the blinking pin light of his communicator that kept on flashing on the wooden table in front of him. Here refused to answer the call, because he didn't want to be disturbed.
In the room, there was an elongated wooden table with eight chairs, and a computer security station, comprising of nine boxed television monitors on a wall.
He frowned hard, feeling the stain of his facial muscles. He took his communicator and threw it against the wall, the blinking was annoying him. It smashed and broke. He then pushed a chair down to the floor next to him and got to his feet. He paced the room, his mind racing with dark thoughts, tortured thoughts of betrayal and guilt.
He finally let himself feel and with a box controller on the table, he switched on one of the screens on the wall. On it was a prison cell and it showed an unconscious Lelouch, laying on a bed, bound, like some sort of mental patient. He had been put there until the Emperor's orders, after a brainwashing session, removing the power of Geass, installing false memories, and erasing old ones.
Suzaku hated that his once best friend's memory was altered, his past stolen from him. Everything he once was, gone! Well, mostly. Only the parts about Zero, the Black Knights, his royal lineage, and most tragically, as punishment for his transgressions against Britannia, his sister, Nunnally! Whom Lelouch loved and cherished above all else.
And what hurt Suzaku even more was the Emperor had decided to leave the memories of Suzaku with Lelouch, as if to torture Suzaku for his betrayal against his friend.
And Suzaku had to live with the fact that he had caused it all. All for the sake of revenge!
Lelouch once said something to him that Suzaku had never forgotten. It was when they were kids just after the invasion of Britannia in Japan. He said, "History is important. History gives a person a sense of purpose, identity, and a future. I accept my past, and I know where I come from. You should too, Suzaku. Do what you must to succeed. But one day, someday, I promise, by my destiny alone, Britannia will fall!"
Lelouch had said these words long before he donned the mask of "Zero".
Destiny, was there such a thing? If you want something bad enough, wish for it everyday, can it come true? Suzaku wondered if it was even possible. And yet, here he was…A Knight of the Round, the elite. And all he had to do was betray his country, his people, and his best friend. He hated himself. He had what he had become.
With a fist, he smashed one of the television screens. It sizzled, broken glass hit the floor. He wore gloves, so his hand was not cut. But a portion of his white glove of was now singed with black from the electricity surge. He'd blame it on false wiring.
His eyes were dark and angry, as he looked at his friend. He blamed Lelouch for forcing him to the unthinkable. Lelouch was at fault for it all.
Along the way, as his alter ego, Zero, Lelouch's ideals turned bitter.
He had lost his initial purpose, wishing to free Japan, and establishing the USJ (the United States of Japan). In the end, all he longed for was revenge. He had manipulated people and demanded justice against the Emperor, for what his father had done to him and his sister, in abandoning them for their weakness, and killing their mother.
Lelouch had acted like some rebellious teenager gone amok, but to a much higher degree with the power of Geass, for which he also possessed, given to him by C2. C2 was, at the moment, was no where to be found. She, like most of Lelouch's cohorts, had gone into hiding.
This enigmatic, supernatural power, provided Lelouch with an apt ability to invoke a misguided sense of justice upon the world and it allowed him to act like a god.
As Zero, he headed the Black Knights, and tried to take his father down. But it was all folly and his heart betrayed him. However, Lelouch did have a kind heart. He wanted an alliance and a free Japan, but then tragically, he did something Suzaku could never forgive him for.
He killed—
Suzaku shook his head, and he cried out in his head for these memories to stop. He couldn't think straight. The very remembrance of that horrific event—an act of murder—enraged him, to the point he was filled with an uncontrollable fury. He turned and slammed his fists on the conference table. It was so hard that the impact hurt his hands, and he felt the pain through his entire body. But he took the pain in stride, it was welcoming. He deserved it.
His thoughts turned to a deeper pain, one just as painful to recall. One he was responsible for, no one else. A pain so penetrating, it had been the bane of his existence for a long time.
I killed my father, the Prime Minister of Japan, in a coup to stop a war. He chose to rise up against Britannia. With him gone, I thought no blood would be spilled. But I was wrong. Killing my father was futile. And Britannia conquered Japan, quickly and ruthlessly, and designated my homeland with an insignificant moniker—Area 11. All Japanese are now called "Eleven's", because of me!
Suzaku grit his teeth in frustration and let out a silent scream. His face flushed, reddened with anger, and his eyes teared at the sides. But they were not tears of sorrow. He was strained. His body felt like it was on fire, filled with virus with no cure.
He stared through the darkness, the glow of the television behind him casting its illuminance, and his silhouette on the wall, featureless, dark-filled, and without substance. Like his soul.
He knew he shouldn't hate Britannia, it gave him hope. He now had status, influence, and power—to change the status quo, and to break the chains that conformed and restricted society. He had the rank of "Knight of Seven".
He needed to do something with his new title. Use it to help others.
"I'll change Britannia from the inside," he had told Lelouch. It was an attempt to justify his actions, when he presented his friend before the Emperor after capturing him like a trophy.
Lelouch had killed Euphie, senselessly and without mercy, and in Suzaku's heart, that justified his hated for his friend, but also filled him with a deep ache of sorrow. He loved Euphie, more than anyone else in the world. He wanted Lelouch to pay for his crime, and that's why he had brought Lelouch before the Emperor. But little did he know the awful consequences of the actions would take. As Lelouch's memories were erased, it was his very own were altered to. He would no longer be able to enjoy the same relationship with his friend every again.
Suzaku swung back at the screen.
Damn you, Lelouch! How dare you use Geass on me! You did it to save yourself, you son-of-a-bitch! In doing so, you corrupted my convictions. I joined the Britannian military to atone for my sins. I wanted to die for killing my father; that's why I was reckless, always putting myself in harms way. But now I can't die. YOU won't let me!
Lelouch had put a Geass spell on him.
"LIVE, SUZAKU! " Lelouch had ordered him.
Suzaku was about to sacrifice himself for the Britannian Empire to bring an end to the tyranny that was Zero at the time. He felt, it was his duty. But now, no matter what, and forever more, Suzaku was forced do everything to preserve his own life! The command was so ingrained in his psyche, that it gave him physical anguish to refuse.
With hardened eyes, Suzaku gazed at Lelouch. As peaceful as his friend appeared at the moment, behind that innocent façade was a very dangerous person.
Or, at least, he used to be.
Suzaku wanted to scream. Instead, he kicked another chair. Then sat down on another.
He didn't want to think. He had come to the conference room to get away from everything, everyone, knowing the room would be empty at this time of day, but then his dark thoughts betrayed him. He should have known he could never get away from them.
He once thought if it would be best to just take a gun and shoot himself with it. It would all be over, no more guilt. And he wished he had before Lelouch's command. Now, whenever he had those suicidal thoughts, he felt pain!
Damn you, Lelouch!
He folded his arms across his chest, shifted down in the chair, his posture and dignity as an officer forgotten, and brooded. His face felt heavy, as if the frown he wore weighed a tone. He then glanced over at the screen again with Lelouch.
"I know I should hate you with every fibre of my being, Lelouch, but for some unknown reason, I still consider you a friend, despite your atrocities."
He snorted angrily, then slammed the table again with an angry fist.
To be continued...