A/N - So this is a one-shot set towards the end of February so after the Christmas episodes. In this version, they have been working on their friendship (for now). Or at least trying too. There has been a kiss, and Olivia panicked afterwards, pushing him away. After a snow storm, her car is in need of a jump. And the only person she can think of to call is…Elliot of course! But will he jump more than just her car?
Inspired by Taylor (livstabler1) of course! This one's for you and you know who hahaha! LOVE YOU!
Olivia left work feeling exhausted which wasn't anything new. Especially not lately. She felt like she was being pulled in a thousand different directions and couldn't stay afloat. At work McGrath was constantly breathing down her neck, questioning her every move. Her team was getting smaller by the day, Amanda was acting strange. Fin was constantly asking her questions about her relationship with Elliot. Noah was asking even more questions. She was trying to be the best Mother, Captain and friend that she could be but she felt like she was failing everyone.
And as far as her relationship with Elliot, she didn't know what was happening there. He was trying. She'd give him that. He was putting in the effort and after helping him with Eli, she'd tried to do the same. Their whole conversation at the hospital had sparked something, this idea of being friends, for now when it was clear he wanted more had her mind reeling. They'd spent more time together, he'd made his intentions clear and there had been a kiss.
A very passionate kiss, the kind of kiss that made her weak in the knees. The kiss she'd been waiting decades for. But as soon as it was over, the fear settled in and she'd retreated. She'd been so afraid, unable to trust him, unable to believe that he loved her or would stick around and she'd bolted. He'd called a few times, apologizing, saying he understood if it was too fast, that he'd wait, that he'd be here whenever she was ready. And if she wasn't…wasn't ready for that part of their relationship he'd still be here. As her friend. Whatever she needed, he'd be there.
"Hey my friend Olivia…"
Sighing, she ran a tired hand through her hair and reached for her keys to her car in her bag. Rifling through the bag, she took them out, climbed in the car and shivered feeling the cold seep into her bones. She'd had to park farther away today because of a recent snow storm and limited parking. Sighing, she put the keys in the ignition and tried to start the car but all she heard was a clicking sound. "What the hell…"
She turned the key again and once more it clicked, not starting. "No…no. Not tonight. Come on…"
But no matter what she did, the car wouldn't start. Sighing, she reached for her phone and tried calling AAA but when she was told it could take hours, aggravation filled her chest. She didn't feel like taking a cab, didn't want to leave her car here. She was supposed to take Noah to dance tomorrow and all of his stuff was in the car.
And as she sat there, one of his last messages rang through her mind.
I'm here Liv. For whatever you need. All you have to do is ask.
Chewing on her lip, she shivered in the cold and knew he'd come if she called. It was just a jump. Didn't have to be anything more. Maybe he was at work anyway, in the middle of a case and unable to help her. Sighing, she reached for her phone again and dialed his number without even having to look, even his new one she had memorized.
He answered on the second ring, "Hey…Liv. Hi…I'm…I'm really glad you called. I haven't wanted to…to bug you. But…" She heard him clear his throat and then he whispered, "I've missed you…"
Her breath caught in her throat and then she found the courage to respond, "Hi…uh. Sorry. Work has been crazy…and Noah's been…busy."
"No. I get it…" He whispered, "Don't worry…um…so…how are you?"
Staring out into the cold night she sighed, "Are you…I mean is there any chance that…"
He heard something in her voice that worried him, "Liv? Is everything okay?"
She let out a shaky breath and whispered, "Yeah…I'm fine. I'm totally fine…I just…"
"Whatever it is…just tell me Liv." He whispered, "What's going on?"
Her hand gripped the steering wheel and she spoke softly, "This is stupid…really stupid and I could just take a fucking cab but-"
"Where are you?" He asked quickly, "Liv, where are you?"
She heard the panic settling in his chest and she answered quickly, "I'm fine. I'm outside the precinct…well a few blocks down. Couldn't find parking because of all the snow. But…my car's dead. I don't know how or why but it's definitely dead and AAA can't get here for hours. I didn't really want to leave my car here tonight and-"
"I'm just leaving work right now. Send me the block you're on and I'll be there. I have jumper cables." He answered without hesitating.
She let out a little sigh of relief, "You're sure? I mean if Eli-"
"Eli has therapy tonight and then he's going over to Dickie's for dinner. A little brother bonding." He said quickly but she heard him climbing into his car, "And Bernie…has a date."
She laughed a little, "Bernie has a date…why am I not surprised?"
He huffed and started the engine, "I'd rather not discuss it." He said with a laugh, "So…where are you?"
"Oh. Right." She sighed and looked out the window, "I'm right outside that little Deli…the one we always used to get-"
"Those insanely delicious reubens?" He asked, "The one on the corner…with the red awning? We used to sit out there when it was warm…and you'd always order a lemonade with your sandwich. They made it there and it was your favorite…"
Her heart jumped in her chest thinking that he remembered. "That's the one…"
"I'll be there in five minutes. Just hang tight. I'll be right there Liv…I promise." He whispered.
And for the first time in a long time, she believed him.
Five minutes later, she saw headlights pulling up in front of her, parking the wrong way. But she knew if they flashed their badges they'd be just fine. Opening the door, she climbed out, still completely frozen. He climbed out of his own car and walked towards you, "You okay?"
She smiled and squeezed the door frame, "Yeah…yeah El I'm totally fine. I feel really stupid. This isn't an emergency I just-"
"I'm glad you called." He said with a hopeful smile, "Really glad…"
She shivered again but this time it had less to do with the cold and more to do with her reaction to him, "Well…thank you. For…for coming."
He reached out and placed both hands on her shoulders, rubbing gently, "You must be freezing. Go hop in my car for a minute while I set things up. It will help if you can run your engine but thaw out for a bit."
"Thanks." She whispered, sliding over slightly feeling his fingers slide down her arms, "Thank you El…"
He smiled, that smile that made her knees weak just as it always had and he nodded towards his car, "Go on."
Climbing into the passenger seat of his car, the blast of warm air was a welcome feeling. She held her hands in front of it, leaning forward, trying to warm her body up before she had to go back outside. She saw Elliot puttering around her car, popping the hood doing whatever he needed to do. Then he climbed into the driver's side of her car and asked, "You good?"
She nodded, teeth still chattering slightly, "Yeah. I'm fine."
He leaned his head back, "Let's wait a minute before you go out there. You're frozen."
She sighed and relaxed slightly, "I'm ready for spring."
He chuckled and looked out the window, "You never did like the snow much…stakeouts in the winter with you were hotter than summer I swear. You had the heat cranked to make it a sauna."
She rolled her eyes, "You survived."
Glancing over at her he felt mesmerized by her, after a decade without her, he felt deprived. He knew it was his own fault, but sometimes when he looked at her now he wondered how the hell he'd lived without her. He knew he'd been stumbling around, his wife even knew it. Even an ocean apart, he couldn't forget her. He'd never been able to forget her.
She looked over at him again and blushed, "Why are you looking at me like that?"
He took a deep breath and whispered, "I'm just…really glad you called."
Her hands were shaking, but it wasn't from the cold. She placed them down in her lap and looked ahead, "I'm uh…sorry I've been avoiding you."
"You don't have to apologize." He whispered, "I get it Liv…I really do."
"It was just…a lot." She said sadly, "And overwhelming…and there's just things-"
"I know." He fidgeted nervously in his seat, "I know Liv. It's not fair of me to just assume that everything is okay with us. I was…gone a long time. A hell of a long time and it's…complicated."
Looking over at him she frowned, "It's always been complicated…"
"Yeah. It has." He whispered, "But I've been selfish…and I went about this all the wrong way."
She laughed nervously, "I'm not sure there is a right way to do this Elliot. I'm not sure there was ever a right way to do this…whatever…" She gestured between them, "This is."
Squeezing the steering wheel in front of him he sighed, "What do you want this to be?"
She was surprised by his bold question and she paused a moment, trying to think of the right thing to say, but then again, as she had said there was no right thing. She lifted one shoulder and answered the only way she knew how, "I just…want both of us to be happy. One way or another. At peace…with this. Either way."
Chewing on his lower lip, he whispered, "Can I tell you what I want?"
She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and said, "Elliot…I think you are confused. Still grieving and I'm familiar…someone you trust. It doesn't mean-"
Reaching out, he placed his hand over hers, "In a parallel universe…it will always be you and I." He saw her look down at their joined hands, "I wrote that. I know I didn't write the rest of it…but I wrote that Liv. And I meant that. I'm not confused…maybe I was before because I was scared. And maybe it was because I didn't want to make things more complicated and I don't want that. Not for you. But…I know what I want." When she didn't respond, he pulled his hand back and sighed, "That's why I kissed you that night…"
Swallowing the lump in her throat she looked at her car, "Can we uh…can we just jump my car?"
He took a deep breath, rubbed the back of his neck and nodded, "Sure. Yeah. Of course. I'm sorry…"
Not looking at him, she climbed out of the car and heard him walking behind her. She turned to look at him, "So…what do you need me to do?"
"Just uh…when I tell you to, turn the key okay?" She nodded slowly, and he saw the nervous look on her face, "I'm sorry…we'll drop the other stuff. Let's just get your car started and get you home."
"Th-thanks." She answered and then walked to her car without looking back.
Sitting in the passenger seat, she watched him hunched over the hood adjusting the cables. She wished she could have said what she wanted, but the truth was he scared the hell out of her. Everything that he had meant to her for 12 years, and even in the 10 he was gone, it was overwhelming. She'd spent so long holding her feelings in, never allowing them to break the surface. And when he'd left, he'd shattered part of her heart. She wouldn't pretend that seeing him again hadn't made her happy, hadn't been what she wanted, but it also came with a lot of baggage and confusion. And more than that, it came with hurt, anger and above all fear.
She prided herself on not being afraid, on not showing fear. She needed that, especially with the job she had. But the thing that scared her most was Elliot. Her feelings for Elliot. He made her feel things she didn't want to feel. And now, she was afraid to let him back in. Afraid to get hurt again…
"Okay. Turn the key." He called out to her from the front of the car, "It may not take at first, but give it a try and then stop if I tell you to stop."
She slid the key in the ignition and slowly turned it to try and start the engine but nothing happened. "Stop." He adjusted the cables again and then called out to her, "Go ahead, try one more time."
She turned the key and instantly, the car started to come to life. She let out a little sigh of relief and climbed out of the car just as he lowered the hood, "All fixed."
Smiling nervously, she held onto the door frame and sighed, "Thank you El…seriously. Thank you."
"No problem." He said with a sigh, "I've jumped a car a time or two in my life."
It started to snow softly and they stood there, staring at each other, neither one of them moving at first. But suddenly, she felt herself gravitating towards him like she always had been. She heard him inhale sharply as she pressed up on her toes, and leaned up to kiss him. He was surprised, and in some way, she was surprising herself too. And yet, it was exactly what she had wanted.
It was a soft, quick kiss but it still made both of their hearts race, made their knees weak and when she pulled back, she didn't want to push him away like the first time. Her cheeks flushed, and his eyes were wide as he watched her. Biting her lip she stepped back, leaned against the doorframe and asked, "So…can I buy you dinner? As a thank you to a friend?"
A little nervous laugh escaped his lips and he sighed, reaching out he pushed a strand of her hair out of her face, "How about you let me make you dinner instead?"
Scrunching up her nose she laughed just as he had, "Wouldn't that defeat the purpose of me thanking you?"
Shaking his head he said, "No. I have a lot of time to make up for Liv…" The blush in her cheeks grew and he whispered, "So…can I make you dinner?"
Maybe she should say no, but she didn't want to. So instead, she smiled and asked, "Sure. Your place or mine?" He looked surprised and a little anxious and she threw him a bone, "Lucy was taking Noah to the movies and the arcade. I was expecting to get out much later tonight…and he's been so excited about it, I'm not going to cancel. I told them not to rush home."
Her place, would probably make her feel more comfortable. And right now, all he wanted was for her to be comfortable. If she wasn't comfortable, there was no way to get through to her. So he started to walk backwards, grateful for this opening, "I'll follow behind Captain."
Taking a deep breath, she climbed back into the car and gripped the steering wheel, "You can do this Benson…just jump."
And then she was driving, towards her apartment, and potentially, the start of something brand new. The start of something she'd been waiting for, they'd both been waiting for a very long time.
He followed her into the apartment, they were quiet as they walked. He was thinking about the last time he'd come here, the night he'd told her about the letter. He'd been completely out of his mind and he knew it, at least he did now. He felt guilt about the way he'd shown up, especially after she had told him that it was hard for her. He hadn't pushed it at the time, but he'd learned soon after why, and it had broken his heart.
It was just days before their first kiss, and he had wondered since then if their conversation had made her feel uncomfortable. The kiss had been spontaneous, standing in his living room after Noah had fallen asleep on the couch watching a movie. Eli had gone back to his room earlier and he'd leaned in, not able to wait any longer. He didn't regret it, he just wished it had ended differently. And maybe…maybe tonight he had a shot at making it right.
Following her towards the door, he knew that she was thinking of that night he'd shown up too. He saw it in her movements, and he stood back, feeling slightly ashamed and wanting her to take the lead here. It had to be at her pace. All of this had to be at her pace. Pushing the door open, she stepped forward and he hesitated, as if giving her a chance to tell him she'd changed her mind. But, she turned to look at him, a coy little smile on her face and asked, "You coming?"
His heart jumped in his chest and he nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets to hide the fact that they were shaking slightly. Stepping over the threshold, he walked into the apartment and waited as she shut the door. He followed her, for a moment feeling slightly out of place. The few times they had hung out, she'd come to his apartment with Noah. He knew it was her way of keeping things separate, so for her to let him into her space, gave him hope.
He watched as she went about her routine, hanging up her jacket, tossing her keys etc. He followed behind and she nodded towards the hooks, "You can hang your coat up if you want."
"Oh. Thanks." He said quickly unbuttoning his shirt, "Do you need me to take my shoes off?"
She glanced at him and laughed, "Oh right…people do that." Sighing she said, "I probably should…but no. You're fine."
He smiled sheepishly and hung up his coat, glancing around the apartment. Now that he was sober, he noticed little things. He knew her old apartment like the back of his hand, knew every little knick knack, hanging picture (some that included him), but as he looked now, he realized there were none of him. Not that he blamed her. He saw familiar faces, Noah of course was present in most if not all the photos. Familiar faces from work, old colleagues, one of her, John, Fin and Cragen all dressed up at some event. And he couldn't deny the fact that it ached a little realizing at one time, he would have been in that photo too. It was then that he realized, it wasn't just Olivia that he had abandoned.
He heard her moving around the kitchen and then heard a heavy sigh, "You know…it just occurred to me we probably should have picked your apartment, not mine."
Turning back to her, he followed her into the kitchen and asked, "Why?"
Glancing back at him she shrugged, "Somethings have changed about me Stabler…but my fridge is generally pretty bare. That hasn't changed."
He laughed and peeked around the open fridge door, "Not even with a kid huh?"
"Hey…he gets fed." She said with a smirk, "Lucy is a great cook. And when she's not around I order take out." She shut the fridge and said, "I was going to go shopping tomorrow. I figured I'd order in tonight." She looked back at him and he was just staring at her again, making her a little nervous once more, "I tried the cooking thing when Noah was younger…but he mostly just spit it out or cried so I took the hint and gave up."
Elliot laughed and reached for the cabinet beside him, "Smart kid."
She scoffed and smacked his arm playfully, "I highly doubt you're a Michelin Star Chef Stabler. So shush."
"I wouldn't say Michelin Star…" He said with a laugh, "But I can hold my own."
Leaning against the counter she watched him as he searched in vain, "You can look but I promise you you won't find much. Maybe a few soup cans that have long since expired."
He sighed and looked down at her, "How the hell did you survive the pandemic?"
"I think Noah and I may be the only two people in the Universe that lost weight during it." She teased, making him laugh, "We survived off a lot of cereal, salads and pasta which I generally don't screw up. Or at least Noah pretends I don't. And thankfully…most places were still offering delivery. And when things got real bad…Fin took pity on me and brought food by."
Elliot laughed and closed the last cabinet, officially giving up. He turned back to her, suddenly realizing how close he was standing to her. He swallowed hard, feeling the heat of her body. Looking down at her, his eyes landed on her lips, those lips that not long ago she had kissed him with. They were both breathing hard, and he was trying to find the right words but nothing substantial came to mind. Instead he whispered, "It's a wonder you've survived this long Benson…truly."
She was watching him too, her eyes darting between his lips and his eyes and it took her a moment to respond, "I'm not all that hungry…"
He stepped just a bit closer, his hand absentmindedly reaching out, pressing his fingers against her waist, "Me either…"
All she could focus on was the feel of his fingers on her waist, something perhaps not all that intimate to some, but for them, it was. There were so many lines they'd worked hard on not crossing. While she had to admit that maybe they were a little more touchy feely than most partners were or should be. But it was usually a hand on the arm, the back, not in a place that felt like it pushed the boundaries, at least not usually.
So, to be standing here having him this close, his settling on her hip all she could think of was how she had kissed him earlier. She had surprised herself when she'd done it, but it felt right. For some reason, it just felt right like she needed to do it or she was going to fall apart. And right now, she felt that same feeling. Like if she didn't kiss him right now, she wouldn't be able to breathe, like she'd fall to the floor and not be able to get back up. Maybe that's what 23 years of pent up tension and longing for a person did to you.
Her chest rose and fell as he stepped even closer, his secondhand moving to the other side of her. Her hands shook as she lifted them, settling them against his forearms. She could sense that he was holding back, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. He needed to know that she was ready, that she wanted this. She had retreated last time, and while she had reason to, while he had hurt her more than anything or anyone, standing before him right now something told her that he wasn't going to leave. Not again.
His hands sneaked around her to her lower back slightly, rubbing her through the silky material of her blouse. She leaned in, her chest pressing against his and she heard him growl slightly before whispering her name, "Olivia…"
She'd always been a confident woman, especially with her lovers. She knew who she was. Knew that she was in control and never shied away. Yet with Elliot, she felt like a teenager again, scared and vulnerable, completely unsure of herself, afraid to do something wrong. And on top of that nervous feeling, he turned her on more than anyone ever had and it was maddening. He'd barely done anything and she already knew she was wet. It had always been that way, one look from him, a smirk, a small touch, the use of her name in a certain tone and she was a goner. Years of this torture working with him and having to try and hide it, what was it about this man that made her so excited? So desperate for him?
Her breath caught in her throat as he pulled her even closer and she felt him. Really felt him. His cock straining through his jeans, pressed against her belly. Biting down hard on her lip, she had to smile because at least she knew he wanted her too. And if she was honest, there were many times as his partner when she'd thought, or even times when she knew for sure, that he wanted her. Not even a well placed file or hiding behind his desk, escaping to the cribs or any other tactic he had could hide it. He'd wanted her just as badly and it was clear, very, very clear. The only difference was now, she had the ability to do something about it.
Peering up at him through heavy lids, her hand snaked up across his chest, towards his neck and her thumb pressed into the hollow of his throat. She felt him swallow hard as he watched her. And again he said her name, "Olivia." Her full name. Not just Liv. Which meant he was serious, that he needed her to understand and truly listen to him. That he was giving her an out here, checking in with her as he'd always done as her partner.
Her fingers traveled up still and his hands settled on her back, in the little dip just above her ass and she knew he wanted to move them lower. But he wouldn't. At least not yet. Elliot Stabler may be a cocky man. He may be an animal once she got him in bed she thought. But at the surface, he was also a gentleman, and there was something else. But what was it?
And then she remembered…
He loved her.
Yes. There was no denying it anymore, to the universe, this one or another, or to herself. Elliot Stabler loved her. Despite all the hurt, all the anger, all the things that had happened between them. He loved her. Maybe he always had. It will always be you and I. He had been right about that. If anyone else had left her for ten years, she'd have forgotten long ago. But not Elliot. Never Elliot. He was burned in her memory and she realized that she was burned in his. Even all the way in Italy, with his wife and their family, a new life, he still had longed for her.
And in that moment, she made a choice. What had seemed like a hard one before, felt so easy now. Because maybe, just maybe she was tired of denying him. Maybe she was even more tired of denying her feelings, of what she wanted, what she'd always wanted. So she decided to jump. Pressing herself up on her toes, her fingers danced across his cheeks, a slight stubble coming in and her heart fluttered in her chest. She made a mental note that while she hated Eddie Ashes, the beard had done things to her. Things she hadn't felt for years. Her lips settled just an inch from his and his hold on her tightened, her name once more leaving his lip, this time more of a plea than before, "Olivia…"
He wanted to be sure. Wanted to know she wasn't going to bolt. Wanted to know that she wanted this, that it was okay for him to touch her. And it made her love and want him even more. Pressing her lips against his softly, she heard the sharp intake of his breath, "El…" Another quick kiss, and he pulled her flush against his body, "I want you."
He let her kiss him again, and then tilted his head back, studying her face carefully. He'd always been able to read her and she knew that's what he was doing right now. Trying to gage if she was telling him the truth or not. And something in her expression told him that she was. Because the next thing she knew, his hands were moving up her back, his fingers threading through her hair and he angled his face, diving in for a much deeper kiss. She whimpered into his mouth and her hands settled on his shoulders, her fingertips digging into his neck.
They swayed slightly as they took their fill of each other. The first kisses had been hesitant, not unpassionate but cautious. But this, this was them unleashing something they'd been holding in for over two decades. It felt like he was consuming her, and she was consuming him. Her rather large apartment suddenly felt small, hot. She felt herself walking backwards but she couldn't tell if it was herself that had started moving them, or maybe it was him guiding her. Or maybe, just maybe it was the both of them. A team as they once had been. Even after all this time apart, partners so in sync with each other.
She had to smile against his lips as they stumbled across her apartment. She'd never speak ill of the dead and she hated what had happened, especially for Elliot's children. But she couldn't deny that after knowing the truth about that fucking letter, part of her felt vindicated. He'd wanted her. And Kathy knew it. She'd always known it.
It's like the told days. The two of you together. Always so in sync. You really didn't talk for ten years?
As she kicked off her shoes and he started pulling at the belt of his jeans she thought, no. We didn't talk for ten years Kathy. And still, he's here, wanting me like he wanted me then. But she'd been good. He'd been good. Respected the line. Respected the marriage. Respected Kathy. But she was tired of being good. Tired of denying herself what she wanted. It was Olivia Benson's turn to get what she wanted. And she was going to take without feeling an ounce of guilt.
Clothes were flying across the living room and suddenly his hands fell on the top button of her blouse. And instantly, she pulled back, both of them panting as they took in gulps of oxygen. Her hands grabbed his, and he looked up at her. His eyes looked dark and somewhat dazed. Confusion crossed his face and she grimaced realizing he thought she was changing her mind. And she wasn't. But she…couldn't deny that this part, this last little barrier scared the hell out of her. To want someone so badly for so long, and to know that this was the version that he'd see. It terrified her in ways she couldn't begin to explain. And she hated, fucking hated the monster that was the reason for it.
They were standing just outside her bedroom, near the wall beside her door. Her fingers held onto his hands and somehow she knew that he knew. And when she looked back up at him, she saw it in his expression, that he understood, but that he still wanted her. While he didn't know the extent of it, she'd told him that she'd been scarred. The words fell from her lips in barely a whisper, but she hoped to God it didn't make him stop what he was doing. Because she needed him. She'd always needed him but to stop this now would kill her even more than his ten year absence. "I just…I need to keep it on. It's not…it's me. I just…" Her eyes lifted to his and she hoped they explained her feelings, "I just need to keep it on…for now."
She saw him lick his lips, felt him extract his fingers from her grip and for a moment she thought this was it. That he was going to back away and say this was a mistake. Or that he didn't want her if he couldn't have all of her. But then his hand moved, and he toyed with a lock of her wavy hair, before his fingers settled on her chin, tilting her face up so she was forced to look him in the eye. Really look at him.
Taking a breath, his voice came out low, gravely, still full of need but under it she heard the tenderness, the love and understanding that she'd only ever felt from him, "Liv, I've wanted this for 23 years so you tell me what you need and I'll do it. No matter what. But hear me when I say this…" He leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, never breaking their eye contact, "You are still the most beautiful and sexy woman I've ever known and nothing, absolutely nothing will ever change that for me." He kissed her once more and then asked, "Okay?"
Taking a shaky breath, her fingers dug into the taught muscles of his chest and she nodded, truly believing him when he said it, "Okay."
He moved one hand away from her hip, and pushed at the waistband of his boxers, the only other garment separating them. And she didn't even try to hide it when her eyes darted down, she heard him chuckle softly and her cheeks blushed but she smiled, very satisfied with what she saw, "Not even gonna apologize El…"
"Didn't want you too." He said with a sigh as his hand fisted his very stiff cock, biting his lip he watched her, "This still okay?"
She took another step backwards and he followed her as her hand reached out, her fingers tracing the tip of him. Her index finger caught the drop of precucm and he shuddered. She pulled her hand back and lifted it to her lips, her tongue licking it away, "More than."
He growled deep in his throat again and he stepped closer until her back was pressed up against the wall. She arched her back off of it, pushing her hips towards him and his cock came into contact with her pussy for the first time. Both of them jumped at the sensation and he sighed her name again, "Olivia…"
Smiling up at him, her hand inched up his chest, her fingers walking across his muscles before settling on the back of his neck and repeating the same words as she had in the kitchen, "I want you."
And that was it. All he needed to hear. His mouth was on hers again, devouring her once more and his hand reached out, lifting her leg to wrap it around his waist. The tip of him pressed against her entrance, parting her slightly and they both moaned at the new sensation. He'd admit that he assumed their first time would be in a bed, that he'd wine and dine her as she deserved. Then again, nothing about their relationship had ever quite been conventional. There had been passion and fire and arguments, tension, lots and lots of sexual tension. So maybe it made sense that their first time was here, up against her wall less than an hour after she called him.
There'd be time later for slow and sensual, right now they wanted each other. Needed each other and he was going to prove just how badly he wanted her and always had. Her fingers dug into the back of his neck and she bit down on his lower lip, tugging it between her teeth, "Elliot…fuck me."
He growled, and settled her leg further up on his hip before he thrust hard and fast, filing her completely. Her head fell back, her arm lifted above her head, trying to reach for some sort of traction on the wall but if she wanted him to fuck her, he would. A low long deep moan left her mouth and her lips turned up into a smile, telling him that he was doing something right. His hips snapped back and he felt himself being enveloped by her tight wet pussy for the first time and it was overwhelming.
How long had he dreamed of this? How long had he wanted to be buried inside of her? How long had he fantasized about her, about how she wouldfeel, what she would look like, taste like, sound like as he fucked her? He hated comparing the two women in his life but they truly were like polar opposites, night and day. Decades of marriage and while the sex was good, and as regular as it coudl be with five children, it was predictable and not always frenzied, needy like this. It was a dance, a routine. But Olivia was exciting and new, intoxicating, adventurous and addicting and he'd barely been in her five minutes.
He grunted as he filled her and fisted her ass, the soft material of her blouse slipping against his skin. He lifted her and she gasped, her second leg wrapping around his waist, locking with her other leg, "Oh my God…"
He smirked and pressed his lips to her neck, "You said fuck you…just doing as I was told Captain."
She laughed, but it soon turned into a long moan as the tip of him hit her back walls, "Fuck."
He sighed and latched his teeth onto her neck, "God Olivia…you have no idea…no idea…"
He didn't need to finish his sentence though because she knew exactly what he was feeling. She'd waited just as long for this, maybe even longer. He'd asked her how man men there had been while he was gone, he knew about most of the ones while there were partners. And she'd evaded the question. Not because she was ashamed, but because the truth was, the others didn't matter. There had only been him, always would be him.
Caressing the back of his neck, she turned his face up towards her needing him to see her, fully see her and hear her, "Yeah. I do know Elliot. Trust me…" She clenched down around him and he sighed, holding her tighter as he fucked into her with reckless abandon, "I know…"
He surged forward, his hips in rhythm with his mouth as he kissed her, deep and hard, "You feel so fucking good." He growled against her mouth, "Just like I knew you would."
She smiled up at him, rocking her body against his, feeling younger than she had in years, "Tell me Detective…how often have you had impure thoughts about your former partner?"
He laughed and squeezed her ass tighter, "Every fucking day, sometimes multiple times for the last 23 years."
She raised an eyebrow, rotating her hips making him huff loudly and she smiled, "Must have been so hard for you not to do anything about it."
Her left leg fell down to his side and he pulled back, slipping out of her, "You're evil, you know that?"
She laughed and leaned up to kiss him as he moved her to the right and somehow she could read his mind like she always had. She kissed him once more, then trailed her kisses along his cheek, his jaw and finally settled below his ear. She sighed, her breath tickling his neck, his hands slid up under her shirt, and he touched a scar without even realizing it. But she didn't freeze, didn't pull back, somehow for the first time, she just felt alive. Taking his earlobe between her fingers she raked her nails down the hard plains of his chest and whispered, "Show me what you wanted to do…"
His head fell back slightly and he pushed his hips forward, already aching to be back inside of her, "Olivia…" He warned.
But she wasn't backing down, feeling a sudden surge of adrenaline and need for him. A sense of power that had been lost, sexuality that others had taken away. A sense of belief in herself, understanding of her worth and the desire to be taken, fucked, loved like she deserved. "Show me what you wanted to do Elliot…" She challenged again.
He pushed her back slightly and she looked up at him, a coy smile on her face. Gone was the timid, scared woman who had been pushing him away. Before him stood the confident, strong, fearless partner he'd once known all those years ago. The one who had taunted him, had made him want to break every rule, every vow, every law in order just to make her smile at him like this. And though it had taken a while, he was here now. They were here now and he was going to take full advantage of it. If she wanted to know what he'd wanted, then he'd show her without holding back.
His hands settled on her lips again and he kissed her with his eyes wide open, "Turn around."
She pressed up on her toes, an excited smile on her lips as she kissed him and nodded, "Yes sir."
He laughed and twisted her, his hand sliding over her ass and pressing against her lower back, "Bend over."
She hadn't been this turned on, this wet in a very long time. There was no way to hide it or deny it and she didn't really care. She didn't care how old she was. How complicated this might be to some. Right now she wanted him to take her hard and fast just like she'd always wanted, and clearly so had he. In front of her was a small table that often held her keys, bills, a lamp and currently an empty vase. She braced her hands against the smooth wood and leaned down, anticipating his next move.
She felt him teasing her with the tip of his cock once more and she pushed back, desperate for him to enter her. But he pulled back, laughing slightly and a whimper left her lips. Reaching out, he pushed her hair to the side and bent over her, pressing his lips to her neck, "You're so fucking sexy Olivia…
Her head fell forward as she felt his hand slip under the front of her shirt, once again trailing over her scars. She knew he had to feel the raised flesh but he said nothing, only moved higher. His fingers tracing the hem of her lacey bra and she sighed, "Elliot…"
He began to kiss his way down her back, a man on a mission, "So. Fucking. Sexy."
Her legs parted without her even thinking about it and her breath caught in her throat. His lips trailed over her ass, and then he bit down on her left cheek, harder than she'd expected and she yelped, "Shit!"
He soothed it with his tongue and he laughed, kneeling in front of her, "Sorry. I couldn't help myself."
She sighed and pressed her cheek into the cool wood, "Don't apologize…and don't you dare stop."
His knees cracked as he crouched before her, his hands fisting each side of her ass, spreading her wide. She heard him groan, and another surge of arousal rushed through her. Soon his tongue was on her thighs, licking away her wetness and she whimpered once more. She needed his mouth against her, and if it didn't happen soon she was sure she would die. "Please…"
He smiled against her skin and moved upward, his nose pressing against her clit making her jump, "Patience…"
She growled at him and slammed her hand into the wood, "I think I have been patient. Very patient Elliot Stabler." Glancing at him over her shoulder, her eyes were dark and determined, "I was patient for 23 years…if you go any slower right now I swear I'll-"
But her words died on her lips because he took the hint, maybe a little pity and more than that, he didn't want to wait any longer himself. His lips latched onto her clit and his tongue pressed between her lips, flattening and a long, slow cry left her lips, "Yes!"
He moaned against her, his mouth filling with the taste and warmth of her and never wanting it to end, "Fuck Liv…"
Her legs trembled as he pushed his tongue up inside of her, "Oh…oh God Elliot. Just like that…"
He moved his mouth up and down her pussy, working her just right without having to think about it. It was like he just knew what to do because it was her. He could read her, feel her better than he could with anyone else, his wife of over 30 years. He felt like a teenager again, experiencing sex for the first time. Not a middle aged man finally fulfilling a sexual fantasy of his wiht his former partner. He bent his knees lower until they hit the ground and he pressed his mouth against her harder. Her feet lifted up off the ground so she stood on her tiptoes. She was panting hard, writing against him, not shying away from his touch. His left hand slid between her ass cheeks, teasing her softly as he fucked her with her mouth and she laughed happily, "Aren't you full of surprises Detective…"
He chuckled, the vibrations coursing through her body making her knees buckle. He held her firmly so she didn't fall, "Looks like you bring out another side in me Benson…you always have."
The table scraped backwards across the floor and her fingers curled around the edge of the wood, "Elliot…I need-I need-"
And he knew. She was close. Very close. Taking his right hand, he slipped it between her legs and thrust her fingers up inside of her at the same time as he wrapped his lips around her clit, tugging on it. The table slipped back again and her legs shook, her thick thighs trembling before him, "Ri-right there…please right there."
He moaned against her and thrust his fingers harder, twisting them slightly taking her by surprise, "Let go Liv…"
Her mouth hung open as her orgasm started in her toes and began to travel up her body. Her eyes shut tight and no noise was able to come from her lips because she was so consumed by pleasure. She pulsed and fluttered around his mouth and fingers, her juices covering his mouth and he didn't pull away, just licked up all she had to offer, "That's it baby…"
"Oh…oh my God." She mumbled, her body trembling, her breath coming in long, deep pants, "Jesus Christ…"
He sighed and moved his lips up again, this time biting her other ass cheek and she jumped once more, "Still can't help myself…"
She laughed, trying to breathe as she pressed back against him, "Elliot…"
He smiled, settling himself between her legs once more, "You ready for more or do you need a break Captain?"
She sighed, bracing her arms against the table, rocking back against him. Her pussy was still pulsating and he groaned at the sensation on his cock, "I can handle it…I can handle more than you think."
He smiled and tangled his hand in her hair, pressing it to the side of her neck, "Well I've always known that…you are a badass Benson. Stronger than all of us combined…"
She pushed back again and the tip of him began to fill her, biting down hard on her lip she whispered, "I haven't felt that strong in a long time El…" His other hand slid down her arm until his hand covered hers, threading his fingers with her own, "But I'm starting to feel like my old self again…"
He smiled and pressed his lips to her temple before thrusting all the way forward, filling her once more, "What a coincidence…" He mumbled, "I'm starting to feel like my old self again too…" He bit down on the back of her neck and mumbled, "I wonder why that is."
"Haven't a clue." She said with a laugh as he started to fuck her hard and fast, "No clue at all…"
He squeezed down on her hand, chewing on his lip as he pulled back just enough to watch himself entering her. He fisted her shirt, lifting it slightly so he could see better. He moaned loudly, watching them, feeling her, see her ass, her thighs bounce back against his hips and his cock was so overwhelming and exciting. His cock was covered in her juices and now that he knew what she tasted like, he couldn't wait to go back for more later. His fingers dug into her hip and he he moaned as she clenched around him, "Fuck Olivia…"
"Harder." She whimpered, "Please fuck me harder." He slid out of her, holding himself back and she looked over her shoulder, "Elliot I swear-"
He smiled and slammed forward making the table move forward as she pressed against it, the items on it rattling, "Hard enough?"
She smiled and nodded her head, "Yes. But do it again…and again." He pulled back and slammed forward again, her hand shot out and quickly knocked over the empty vase, "And again!"
The vase clattered to the floor, smashing into pieces but he didn't care and clearly neither did she. The table slammed against the wall over and over as he slammed into her and he wondered if there would be marks on the wood in the morning. Good he thought. Let there be marks. Let there be proof that this had happened, finally happened. She was letting go, her moans getting louder as he fucked her. "Olivia…Olivia…Olivia…"
Hearing her name on his lips, knowing he was in her, that he wanted her just as she'd always wanted him was sending her closer and closer to the edge. Pushing herself up slightly, she felt his chest press against her back and she held him closer. "Oh my God…Elliot…"
He latched his teeth onto her neck and smiled as she took his hand, moving it between her legs, "You gonna come again for me Olivia?"
She smiled and pressed his fingers against her clit, "God I hope so…"
He growled and thrust harder, deeper until her head fell back and settled on his shoulder, "Please…"
This time he was begging and once again it made her feel powerful and proud, sexual and free, "I want to feel you…" She whimpered, "I want to feel it…inside of me."
He grunted and snapped his hips back once more before thrusting with all of his might, bottoming out as his orgasm ripped through him. "Ah-ah fuck!" He growled, and she pulled him all the way in, coating her walls with his release, "Olivia…"
She pressed his thumb harder against her clit, felt him filling her completely, the warmth of him and she shattered hard and fast, "Elliot!"
He fell forward slightly and her hips collided with the table once more, both of them bending over it, "Shit…"
She smiled and reached behind her, snaking her arm around his neck, "Damn…"
He laughed and pressed his lips into her jaw, "Yeah…"
They stood there, still wrapped around one another, his cock still buried inside of her as their combined juices began to slide down her thigh. "So…that's what 23 years of holding back looks like?"
He laughed harder and buried his face in her long brown hair, "Olivia, God I love you."
And there it was, the softer side of him once more and the weight of this moment hit her square in the chest. Swallowing hard, she moved slightly until he slipped out of her. He helped turn her again and she looked up at him, her cheeks flushed, her lips swollen, "Hi…"
Tracing the line of her jaw, he smiled and slid the pad of his thumb against her lower lip, "Hi…"
Pressing herself up onto her toes once more she sighed and kissed him, eyes wide open, "I love you too."
She saw his face soften, and his hands reached out to cradle her face in his hands. He was looking at her like she was the most precious and important thing in the world and she finally realized that to him, she was, "You have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that…"
She sighed and pressed her forehead against his, "Elliot…"
Pressing his lips to hers he smiled, "I love you. I've always loved you and I will never leave you again. I promise…"
Nodding slowly, she let her hands slide down his bare chest, "I believe you…" She felt him let out a little breath and she leaned back, "I need to uh…"
"Oh. Right." He stepped back slightly, suddenly slightly unsure of what he should do, what he should say.
She kissed his cheek and reached down to grab her slacks, "Meet me in my room?"
His smile grew and he nodded, happy that she didn't want him to leave. He nodded quickly and quickly began to pick up the rest of their clothes that were scattered along the floor. He turned quickly, his mind reeling as he heard her in the bathroom. He was so overwhelmed, excited, happy, that the one little detail he forgot about was that broken vase on the ground…
Walking towards her bedroom, he slipped on his boxers and looked around her personal space. He'd been in her apartment, but never past the kitchen, living room or the guest bathroom. This was her room, her own little sanctuary. It felt intimate. Nervously, he sat down on the edge of her bed and waited. After a few minutes, the door creaked open and he looked up, she looked as nervous as he did. She still wore her blouse, and she still looked as beautiful, as sexy as she had before. His cock already stirring for more. He held his breath as she walked across the room and stood in front of him, "So…"
He smiled, letting his hands rest on her hips, "So…"
"Ummm…" She shifted nervously and laughed, "Not exactly how I pictured my night to go…"
He swallowed hard and answered, "Mine either…but I can't say I regret it." Her eyes lifted to his and he whispered nervously, "Do you?"
He saw her eyes grow softer. Lifting her leg, she pressed her knee into the mattress beside him. His hands settled on her hips as she straddled his waist and wrapped her arms around his neck, "Not for a second."
Lifting his hand again, he threaded his fingers through her hair, "So…what does this mean?"
She smiled, it was so like him to need labels, he was never a casual man, "What do you want it to mean?"
He frowned and held her a little tighter, "Well I hope it means that we're…"
"Partners?" She asked with a tilt of her head, and another coy smile on her lips.
His lips turned up into a breathtaking smile and he nodded, "Partners…I like that."
Leaning down she kissed him again, softly, letting her fingers dance along the back of his neck. She felt his hands slide up under the hem of her shirt, his fingers stroking one of her scars tenderly. She bit her lip, trying to find that courage once more and she saw it in his eyes. The understanding, the fact that he wouldn't push her if she said no, but she wasn't surprised when she heard him say, "Will you show me?"
She knew she had the right to say no. Knew that he'd wait as long as she needed him too. But the outcome would never be different. He'd still love her. That much was clear. He was here wasn't he? Twenty three years later and he was here, because he'd always wanted her. And maybe it was crazy. And maybe it was complicated as all hell. But then again, it probably always would be. So she needed to make a choice if she could handle it or not.
Staring down at him, she smiled and she knew what she had to do. Jump. Jump headfirst into this, no matter the consequences because she'd regret it if she didn't at least try. Lifting her hands, her fingers settled on the first button as she began to pull on it. His eyes stayed locked on hers, and she knew he wouldn't look until she told him it was okay. Her hands moved lower, the material sliding over, more of her body being exposed to him. But still, his eyes stayed on hers. When the last button was undone, she reached up and began to push it over her shoulders. The silky material sliding down her arms with ease, pooling around his knees as she sat over him.
Lifting her hand, she ran her fingers nervously through her hair and whispered, "It's not…not pretty."
He heard the fear in her voice and it broke his heart, leaning forward, he still didn't look down as he kissed her. "I love you."
Her breath caught in her throat and she nodded slowly, "Okay…"
His hand slid up and down her back, trying to soothe her before his eyes roamed down over her face, her neck and settled on her chest, finding the first scar, the place where that monster had marked her. His fingers delicately slid across her skin, touching each red mark, in contrast with her olive skin. And he felt sadness, for not being here to protect her, to save her from this pain. He couldn't make up for it now. Couldn't take it back, erase time. But he could make sure she never felt this kind of pain again. Make sure that she knew that to him, she had been and would always be the most beautiful woman in the world and nothing could ever change that.
He leaned forward, pressing his lips to her breast, just above one of her scars and he heard her inhale sharply, "I love you." He said again.
Her fingers held the back of his neck as he moved across her chest, "Elliot…"
He shook his head, burying his face between her breasts and licking her sweet skin. He sighed and lifted his hand once more, holding the weight of her in his hand, his finger teasing her pebbled nipple, "I. Love. You."
She smiled softly, felt the tears fall, not out of sadness but because she knew he was speaking the truth, "El…"
Lifting his head, he trailed his hand up along her chest once more, wrapping around the back of her neck he pulled her closer, "I love you, okay?"
With trembling fingers, she touched his cheek and nodded, "O-Okay."
Just as he went to kiss her again they heard the rattle of keys and the doorknob, "Shit…"
A muffled voice called to them from the living room, "Mom?"
"Oh my God." Olivia whipped her legs up over Elliot's waist and started pulling on clothes as Elliot quickly did the same.
"Crap. Crap." Elliot mumbled as he tried to balance himself and pull on his jeans.
"Olivia?" Lucy called, "Are you home?"
Olivia grabbed Elliot's shirt and threw it at him, "I have to-"
"Yeah…" He mumbled pulling it over his head, "Yeah go…"
Walking towards the door, Olivia took a few steadying breaths as her son anxiously called for her again, "Hey-hi." She said, slipping out of her room, "Hey. I'm here."
Noah looked back at his Mom and dropped his backpack down, "Oh. You are here."
Olivia swallowed hard and pressed her hand down her rumbled shirt, "Yeah. I…I got home earlier than expected but you two had plans and I didn't want to interrupt."
A thump came from her room and Noah frowned, but Lucy laughed, "Is someone else here?"
"I…" Olivia chewed on her lip anxiously and then heard the door creak open, knowing that Ellliot realized he couldn't really hide, "Yes…Elliot is here."
Noah looked between his Mother and her former partner, the man he'd heard a lot about but had only met a handful of times, "Oh. Hi Elliot." His eyes moved lower, noticing that the man had stepped out of the room barefoot.
Elliot looked down and nervously wiggled his toes, "Hey Noah…" He turned to the boy's Nanny and smiled, "Lucy…"
"Detective Stabler…" Lucy said with a knowing smile.
Olivia held her hand on her hip and siad, "I uh…was having some car trouble because of the cold. And so I called Elliot…to come and give me a jump. He was just making sure I got home okay…"
Noah looked between them again, "Okay." He looked straight at Elliot, "Thanks for taking such good care of Mom."
Elliot put his hands out at his sides and mumbled, "It was my pleasure."
Lucy snorted louder and Olivia shot her a look, "Honey…did you eat something?"
Lucy held up a box, "We brought some pizza…"
Olivia tugged at her shirt and nodded, "Oh. Great."
"Are you hungry Mom?" Noah asked as he walked into the apartment.
Elliot's phone began to ping, "I should…check that…"
Olivia nodded slowly, her heart thumping wildly, "Sure. Yeah. Go ahead."
He grabbed his phone and walked towards the kitchen answering it. Noah was in the living room as if nothing was off and he flipped on the TV looking for something to watch. Olivia turned to look at Lucy who was just smirking at her, "What?"
"What is it exactly that he jumped?" Lucy teased, "Just your car?"
Olivia's mouth hung open and she pressed a hand into her stomach, "Lucy…"
"Hey…" The younger woman said walking towards her, "I think it's great. And I know Noah will be happy. He was talking about Elliot the whole night…he does that a lot." She walked over to her and placed a hand on her back, "It's good to see you happy." She cocked her head to the side, "Maybe next time just clean up all the evidence Captain."
Olivia frowned and followed her gaze and saw the broken vase and all its pieces scattered on the ground, "Oh."
"Yeah. Dead give away." Lucy said with a laugh, "I'm gonna say goodnight to Noah and head out?"
Olivia nodded slowly, "Oh. Yeah. Sure."
Elliot walked back towards them and cleared his throat, "That was Bell…she needs me to come in."
Olivia turned to look at him, she was sure her face showed she was disappointed but she tried to hide it as best she could, "Oh. Okay…"
Lucy gave him a smile, "Thanks again for jumping Olivia."
Elliot coughed nervously, his cheeks flushing and Oliva shot her another look, "Lucy…"
"Just gonna go say goodnight to the kid." She said with a smile before stepping away.
Elliot looked after her and then turned to Olivia, "Was she-"
Olivia pointed at the vase on the ground, "We forgot something…"
Elliot frowned and followed her finger and then laughed nervously, "Oh. Well…that's my bad. Sorry."
She laughed nervously as she watched him begin to pull on his boots, "No you're not."
He shook his head and straightened up, reaching for his coat, "No. You're right. I'm not."
She stood in front of him nervously, trying to figure out how her night had turned out this way. But she realized she had zero regrets. "So…you have to go to work."
He nodded slowly, wanting to reach for her but unsure if she wanted him to, with Noah so close by, "Yeah…"
"Okay." She whispered softly, "Um…be safe."
Elliot smiled softly and stepped backwards, "I will. I got a lot to stick around for…"
Her heart hammered in her chest and she smiled, her cheeks flushing, "I'm glad to hear that."
He glanced at Noah and Lucy who had their backs to them. And then he slipped out the doo, wishing he could have kissed her. It took her less than fifteen seconds to realize she just didn't really care what anyone thought anymore. Despite being completely barefoot, she whipped the door open calling out to Lucy and her son, "Be right back!"
He was slipping into the elevator as she ran through the open doors and pushed grabbed him. He turned, surprised but she pressed him back against the wall and crashed her lips to his. He smiled, pulling her closer as the elevator doors closed, leaving them alone, "Olivia…"
She smiled, pulled back and whispered, "I forgot to ask you something."
He laughed and brushed her hair out of her face, "Okay. What did you want to ask me?"
"Would you, Eli and Bernie like to have dinner with me and Noah sometime this week?" She asked hopefully.
His smile grew and he let his fingers trail across her cheek, his thumb brushing against her lower lip, "Hm…dinner?"
She nodded slowly, "I promise I won't cook. I don't want to kill anyone. We can get take out…go somewhere or-"
"Or I can bring food over and cook for you like I promised. For all of us." He whispered.
She bit down on her lip and smiled, "Yeah?"
He shrugged, "I mean I guess. Or maybe I need some time to think about it…can I think about it and get back to you?"
She rolled her eyes playfully, grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him flush against her chest, kissing him with her eyes wide open, "Just come."
He laughed against her lips and held on tight, "Tell me when and we'll be there…"
Kissing him again she pulled back, her hand trailing down his chest, "Good."
He pressed his back against the wall once more knowing if he didn't leave now he never would, "Yeah…good."
She reached behind her and pressed the button to open the elevator doors again. They opened and she stepped back, "Thanks for the jump Detective…"
He smirked and whispered, 'As I said…it was my pleasure Captain Benson." He paused and pressed a hand to his heart, "I'm really glad you called."
"Me too." She said, stepping back, "Text me later?"
He nodded, "Yes. Night Liv."
She sighed as the doors began to close, "Night."
Just as the doors were about to close, his foot stuck out and he stepped forward once more catching her off guard. She gasped as he pulled her in for another kiss, "Elliot, what-"
He smiled, holding her face firmly in his hands, "I love you. Just felt the need to remind you again…"
She smiled, feeling those butterflies swarming in her belly, "I love you too."
He kissed her lips, her nose and then her forehead and stepped back once more, pressing the button for the ground floor, "Bye."
She lifted her hand nervously and waved, "Bye."
She stood there for a few minutes after he was gone. When she'd left work she felt drained, exhausted, but right now she felt more alive than ever. Turning on her heel, she walked back to her apartment, her bare feet felt cold against the floor. She went to open the door but quickly realized she had locked herself out, "Shit…" She mumbled.
But after a moment, the door opened and Lucy stood there with another smile on her face, "Do you need me to stay?"
Olivia laughed nervously and shook her head, "No…but I have a feeling I may need some extra hours here and there coming up…"
Lucy nodded, "Date nights. Of course." She said with a smile as she slipped out of the apartment, "I cleaned up the vase. Noah doesn't know a thing. Or he hasn't said anything…"
Olivia laughed and watched her step into the hallway, "I'm giving you a raise."
Lucy laughed and began to walk away, "Like I said…I'm just glad to see you so happy. You deserve it."
And for the first time in her life, Olivia actually believed that to be true. Taking a deep breath, she turned and walked into the apartment once more. Noah was on the couch nibbling on a piece of pizza and her own stomach growled. Walking closer to him, she climbed over the back of the couch and settled up beside him, "Hey buddy."
Noah looked over at her and smiled, "Hey Mom."
She reached for a slice of pizza and slid her feet under the blanket beside her, "Did you have a goodnight with Lucy?"
Noah nodded slowly, "I did." He paused and then turned to her and asked, "Did you have a goodnight with Elliot?"
Her heart fluttered in her chest and she pulled a pepper off the pizza popping it in her mouth before looking at her son, "I did"
Noah just smiled and turned back to the TV settling in beside his Mom. Olivia wrapped her arm around him and was about to take a bite of her pizza when her phone pinged. It was still in the pocket of her pants that she had put back on. Leaning forward, she placed her pizza down and reached for it, smiling when she saw Elliot's name light up the screen.
Does less than five minutes count as later?
She bit her lip and smiled typing a reply. Sure. Missed me already?
She waited as she watched the three little bubbles filled the screen and he wrote, I miss you always. Will be worse now that I know…
Her heart flipped in her chest and she typed back, Go to work Detective. I can't have you getting hurt because you're thinking about me. Then I'll never get that dinner you keep promising me.
She smiled thinking about the smirk that no doubt was filling his face at this moment, Hey my friend Olivia?
She smiled and asked, Yes?
I love you.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Noah looking at her, "Everything okay Mom?"
She looked over at her son and smiled, "Yeah Noah. Everything is good…everything is really good."
She kissed the top of his head and reached for her pizza again before typing back those three words she'd held in for so long. But she didn't have to hide it anymore. And neither did he. So she smiled and typed it back, meaning it with all her heart and very happy she had finally taken the jump today knowing there would be no turning back for either of them. It was time. Thank God, it was finally time.
I love you too.