A/N - This literally came to me as I was driving home today. Scheduled as a one-shot, but could there be another chapter down the road? Not sure. Just a short and sweet/emotional story about Olivia's birthday this year. How she thinks about her past birthdays with Elliot and how he wants to spend them moving forward…

February 7th 2021

Olivia woke up just like she did every morning. Her alarm clock went off, she rolled over in bed, alone, turned it off and lay there staring at the ceiling. It was quiet. Very quiet. Still dark outside. As she lay there she thought about the last year of her life. It had been a blur if she was honest. From the moment the Stabler family came barreling into her life again, everything had been flipped upside down. She'd spent ten years trying to forget them, not just Elliot but all of them. Yet everywhere she had turned, there was a reminder of them, especially her former partner.

But now, now they were back. Kathy was gone, but the children and Elliot were very much a part of her life again. A confusing part of her life, even more confusing than all those years ago. At least back then she knew her place. The friend. The partner. The confidant for his children and occasionally Kathy too. But now, she felt like she was more unsure of herself than ever. Elliot had said things, made the implication that he wanted more. But those old worries, those old fears held her back. And more than that…ten years of betrayal loomed over them, between them. And it was a hell of a lot deeper than the ocean that had separated them while he was in Italy.

She heard footsteps out in the living room and she knew her son was awake. Most mornings it was hard to get him out of bed. But it wouldn't be. Not today. Today was her birthday. He was old enough now to know it. When he was younger, she was perfectly content with him never knowing or caring about the day. She hated her birthday. She always had. But Fin and the rest of her friends had made sure that Noah knew, ensuring some sort of celebration.

As a child, birthdays were lonely. Lonelier than all the other days which said a lot. Often her Mom would stay away, or get so drunk she'd sleep for the entire day. There were no birthday cakes. No early morning wake ups. No presents. There was no mention of it. And as she got older, she preferred to keep it that way. It took two years for Elliot to figure out when her birthday was and he'd only done it by stealing her wallet to look at the date on it. As she lay there, she remembered that first birthday celebration and tears welled in her eyes just thinking about it.

February 7th, 2000

It had been a long few days at work. They'd spent nearly three days straight trying to catch a serial rapist. She was exhausted and all she wanted to do was go home, take a long shower and climb into bed. She had the day off, she'd purposefully taken it off. Her watch beeped as she stood in the locker room and she sighed heavily.

It was officially her birthday. God she hated birthdays. And that is exactly why she took the day off, to wallow in her emotions from her bed. Slamming her locker shut, she grabbed her bag, slung it over her shoulder and began to walk back towards the squad room to say goodbye to Elliot. He was finishing some paperwork before he too would be going home to his wife and children. Not an empty apartment like her…

Her bag felt heavy as she walked but she stepped back into the now silent squad room. No one else was around and for that she was grateful. She wanted to make a quick exit. She was looking down as she stepped towards their joined desks, "Okay, I'm out of here El. I'll see you tomorrow Monday. I took the day off and we have no work Sunday so-" She had looked up and her breath caught in her throat.

He was standing by her desk, a sheepish smile on his face and a small cake set on her desk, a single candle in the middle, "You can't go yet…you have to make a birthday wish."

She gripped the strap of her bag tighter and bit down hard on her lip, "Elliot…what the hell is this?"

He smirked and narrowed his eyes playfully at her, "For a detective…the obvious things seem to go right past you sometimes." She just stood there and he laughed, "It's a birthday cake Liv…'

Still chewing on her lip she contemplated her response and then she stood up a little straighter, "Why would you get me a birthday cake?"

He laughed and sat down on the edge of her desk beside it, "Uh…because it's your birthday?"

Sighing, she reached for a file on her desk, "Elliot…I'm tired. I'm going home."

She went to move but he stood up quickly and reached for her, confused by her reaction, "Liv wait-"

"I don't do birthdays." She whispered quickly, "Okay? It's just another day. I didn't tell you my birthday for a reason…so let's go back to pretending that you don't know what day it is. And if you told the rest of the squad you can tell them-"

"I didn't tell anyone else." He whispered, looking down at her with a sad look on his face, "But as your partner…I did at least want to acknowledge it. You always acknowledge mine."

She could feel tears burning in her eyes and the last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of him but she held it together, standing up a little taller, "It's different."

He smiled and lifted one shoulder softly, "No…it isn't. A birthday is a birthday Liv."

"Not when you never should have been born to begin with." She growled, and then she saw it, what she thought of as pity cross his face, "I'm going home now. Goodnight Elliot."

She went to move again but he grabbed her hand, "Olivia…"

She swallowed the lump in her throat and shook her head, "Don't."

But he didn't let go, he only held her hand tighter, "What happened to your Mother was terrible. I will never deny that. But it wasn't your fault…" She didn't move, didn't pull away and slowly he walked towards her, moving to stand in front of her, "And whether you realize this or not…your life means a hell of a lot to so many. Me included."

She lifted her eyes slowly to look at him, "El I just-"

"If you tell me that you never want to discuss this again, then fine, I'll toss the cake and we can forget it. Hell, you can even throw it at me if it will make you feel better." He said with a smile and she laughed nervously. "Or…if you let me, I'd like to prove that birthdays don't have to be terrible. And that yours is definitely worth celebrating…"

She took a shaky breath and looked at him, "I really don't want to make it a big deal…"

"Okay. Then we sit here, there is no one else alone, you endure my terrible singing, and we split this cake." He said with a nod, "And then we never speak of it again." He smirked, "At least until next year…"

She was quiet, but she could feel and practically hear her heart pounding away in her chest, "You are a terrible singer."

"And you're not better." He said with a growl, "But it's your birthday so I'll pretend that you are just to be nice. Now…" He pointed back to her desk, "I stood in line in the rain to get that cake…so are you going to make me getting pneumonia worth it or not?"

She smiled nervously, 'You said you had an appointment."

"So I'm a compulsive liar." He moved behind her and slowly moved her towards her desk, "Come sit, please?"

She felt herself walking, and she swore he was the only one she would do this for. He knew he had won, they both did. He pulled out her chair for her and she sat, staring anxiously at the cake in front of her. This felt strange and uncomfortable and yet at the same time, it felt like everything she'd ever wanted. He smiled nervously, reached for his own chair, pulled it beside her desk and straddled it, leaning over the back of it, "You really don't have to sing…"

"Of course I do." He said with a smile as he leaned over, "It's part of the birthday traditions…it's a must."

She rolled her eyes and spoke without thinking, "I wouldn't know." Immediately her cheeks flushed and she glanced at him, and once again the sadness washed over his face and she fidgeted nervously, "It's fine El…don't make it a big deal."

"Well…" He cleared his throat nervously and whispered, "I'm honored that you're having your first birthday cake with me. I must be someone important."

She smiled, gnawing on her lip, "You're someone persistent…but sure." He laughed and she shrugged, "You're important El…"

Reaching out, he squeezed her shoulder and whispered, "Well you're important too Liv. And I'll keep making sure you know that."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "You're gonna make me do this every year now aren't you?"

"Till I'm old and gray." He said with a nod, "You'll never have a birthday without me again Liv."

Taking a deep breath she whispered, "Don't make promises you can't keep El."

He leaned in and smiled, his eyes sparkling slightly, "I can keep this one Liv…"

And then he began to sing, and it was terrible. They were both laughing, and as uncomfortable as it made her feel, it was also the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for her. And when he was done, he slid the cake closer to her and whispered, "Now you have to make your birthday wish."

A birthday wish. She'd heard about those. She'd always heard it should be a good one. Something you really want. Not something frivolous. She was quiet as she thought, and then she knew what her wish was. Leaning forward, she took a deep breath and blew out the candles thinking to herself.

I just want to be happy.

When she opened her eyes, he was clapping, a proud and caring smile on his face. He leaned forward and pulled the candle out, holding it out for her, "Happy Birthday Liv."

She smiled, and licked the bottom of the candle, "Thanks El…"

Maybe birthdays weren't so bad after all…

February 7th, 2021

Snapping back into the present day, she heard the door creaking open and she quickly wiped her tears away. She didn't want her son to see her upset, especially not today. Walking into the room, he climbed up on the bed and she saw a bouquet of flowers benign handed to her in the dimly lit room, "Happy Birthday Mom!"

Olivia sat up slowly, flipped on the light and reached for the flowers, "Morning sweet boy. These are beautiful. Thank you."

Noah pulled his legs up under him and smiled, "Uncle Fin helped me pick them out yesterday when he drove me home."

"I should have known he had ulterior motives." She said with a smile.

Noah sighed and pulled a box from behind his back, "You really have to work late tonight?"

The answer was no, but she often tried to avoid celebrating as long as possible so she'd scheduled herself to work. Lucy was coming to stay with Noah of course so he wasn't alone. She reached out, touching his leg and smiled, "Yeah Noah. I have to work tonight. I'm sorry…"

Noah shrugged, "I get it. I just wanted to do dinner…" She fidgeted nervously, "Maybe this weekend? We could even call Elliot and-"

"Noah…" She reached for his hand this time and smiled, "We've talked about this…he has a lot of responsibilities."

Noah nodded, "But he also said he wanted to spend time with us…so I don't understand why you've been avoiding him."

"I haven't been avoiding him." She whispered, "I've just been busy…and so has he. We both have lives. Busy lives, work, kids, sometimes it's hard to navigate friendships when you're that busy."

"Is that what he is? Your friend?" Noah asked curiously.

"He's…" Her voice cracked and she smiled nervously, "He's…yeah he's my friend Noah."

Noah just stared at her and then nudged the box towards her, "I got this for you."

She smiled and took the box from his hands, "Can I open it?"

Noah nodded, "Uncle Fin helped me pick it out…I saw it at the store and he thought you'd like it too."

Olivia beamed at him, "I love anything you pick out, kid, because it's from you." She pulled the ribbon off the top of the box and then began to tear the paper, "What could it be?"

Popping the top of the box off, her heart jumped in her chest when she saw a long chain and a gold circle pendant with her initials on it. And then she realized it was a locket, carefully, she reached out and popped it open and smiled when she saw a tiny picture of her and Noah on one side, "Noah…it's beautiful. I love it. Thank you."

Noah smiled, "That way we can always be together…"

She reached for him, pulling him into her arms, she pressed a kiss to his head, "I love you Noah Porter Benson. Did you know that?"

Noah held her tight and whispered, "I had a feeling…" She laughed and he sighed, "You know…you can put another picture in there…"

Her heart jumped in her chest and she smiled, "Noah…"

"Uncle Fin said people put pictures of people or things that are important to them…just saying." He said with a smile as he leaned back and kissed her cheek, "I'll make you some coffee."

She saw him climb out of the bed, "Noah…" She called again.

He turned and looked at her, "Don't forget to make a birthday wish today Mom…a really good one."

And then he walked out of the room, leaving her alone with her thoughts once more.

By the end of the day, she was irritable and she knew it. It wasn't unusual on her birthday, especially in the last ten years. Fin knew better than to make it a big deal in front of everyone. But he'd left her favorite coffee and bagel on her desk and wished her a happy Birthday in passing. Amanda did as well but everyone else was quiet and she was thankful for it. Something about this birthday in particular was bringing up a lot of emotions, things she'd tried to forget or at least keep hidden.

But as she stood in her office, all she could think of was the last birthday she'd shared with Elliot…

February 7, 2011

Elliot had snuck out a little bit ago and it didn't take a rocket scientist to know why. It was currently 11:59pm, one minute until that horrible day. Her birthday. And as he'd promised after that first birthday, he had made her celebrate every single year since then. Once again she was thankful it was a quiet night when she heard him coming up behind her, already singing.

"Happy Birthday to you…" He crooned.

And she hated that her heart was already racing. He really was a terrible single, yet every year on her birthday he sang this stupid birthday song and it made her weak in the knees. It was the only part of her birthday she didn't hate. As he finished up the song and placed her usual cake in front of her, she looked at him over the candle, "Thank God you only have to do that once a year…"

He huffed and sat down on the edge of her desk as he had that first time, "Eli is the only one that lets me still sing. The other ones say it depresses them."

Olivia chuckled and slid her paperwork to the other side of her desk, "I'm with them."

He rolled his eyes and reached for his chair to sit on it, backwards as usual, "Yeah, yeah. You love it and you know it."

What she didn't say was, I hate it, but I love you.

"Well…we can agree to disagree." She nodded towards her cake and smiled, "But thank you Elliot."

He nodded and pointed towards the cake, "Of course. I made a promise I intend to keep. No birthdays without me."

She blushed and looked down at the single candle, "Don't you think it's kind of pathetic that you have to do this every year?"

"No." He said with a shake of his head, "I just feel honored that I'm the only one you let close enough to celebrate with."

Tears welled in her eyes and she whispered his name, "Elliot…"

He leaned in, teasing her as he had done that first time too, "I must be someone important…"

She smiled, reaching for her hair, holding it back ready to make her usual wish, "You're important El…"

He smiled, that kind of smile that made her weak, the kind that made her want to kiss him even though she knew she couldn't. He pointed at the cake once more, "Make your wish Benson…"

Chewing on her lip she waited a moment even though she already knew what the wish would be, what it always was and she smiled, leaning in as she blew out the candle.

I just want to be happy.

When she pulled away, she heard him clapping just as he always did and he reached for two forks for them to share the cake, "Happy Birthday Liv…"

She smiled taking her fork, they both broke a piece off and tapped them together, another tradition and she whispered, "Thanks El…

Not a lot had changed since that first Birthday. There were still things she still hated about this day. A lot of emotions all wrapped up in one day. But to be able to celebrate it with him over the last decade, had made it a little more bearable and she hoped it would always be that way.

Little did she know that this would be the last one for another decade…

February 7, 2021

Snapping back into present time once more, Olivia pushed all those feelings out of her mind. If she dwelled on them too long she'd start to fall apart and she refused, absolutely refused to do that today. She was just coming back from a meeting downtown as she walked into the precinct, it was quiet, unusually quiet but Fin had told her it was mainly dead and he had sent most everyone home.

As she looked over at his desk, she smiled, "Thanks for holding down the for Fin."

"Hey…you made me second in command for a reason." He said with a sigh as he stood up, "Happy to do it. Until I can take the throne myself that is…"

She glared at him and smiled, "You're older than me…so you know that I'm planning on dying here, correct?"

He laughed and walked towards her, "I know. Trust me…I know. Although…I hope that eventually you'll decide to take some time for yourself. See the world…live a little. Find your happiness."

Happiness.

That damn word. The one thing she'd wished for for all those fucking birthdays beside Elliot.

Happiness.

She had found part of that happiness in her son, in that miracle of a boy that had changed so much for her. The boy that had saved her, gave her meaning, purpose on her darkest of days. But there had been something, some part of happiness that had always eluded her. She felt frustration and hurt, the sadness that had been building for the last decade was sitting heavy in her chest.

"Happiness…" She whispered softly as she tucked her phone in her pocket, "What's that?"

Fin sighed sadly and walked over to her, "It's often hard to find…and sometimes pretty freaking scary. But sometimes…despite the hurt you have to fight for it and give it a chance Liv." His eyes darted towards her room and she followed his gaze, her breath catching in her throat, "Give it a chance Liv…"

Walking towards her, he squeezed her shoulder, "Fin…"

"Happy Birthday Captain. I'll see you tomorrow." He whispered.

She saw the outline of him standing in her office, he had his back to her. But she knew it was him. She'd know that stance anywhere. It may have changed in the last ten years, he was stronger somehow, and sure he had less hair, but she knew it was him. She wanted to turn, wanted to run after Fin and make him take her home but she knew she had to face this. Face him. Face the ten years of hurt.

And if he was here…he knew that too.

She wasn't sure how long she had been standing there, but when she focussed again, she realized he was looking at her now through the glass window. Taking a deep breath, she walked towards her office and willed her hands not to shake. As she pushed the door open, she saw him take a small step back, saw the nervous smile on his face, "Happy Birthday Captain Benson…"

She closed the door behind her, let her eyes fall on her desk and there it was. The small single cake, the same one he always bought when they were partners. As if nothing had happened. As if time hadn't passed. As if he hadn't missed a decade's worth of birthdays when he had promised that he wouldn't. Clearing her throat she walked towards the other side of her office, needing to put as much space between them as possible, "What is this El?"

Taking a shaky breath, he put his hands out nervously and shrugged, "Um…me trying to…"

He wasn't sure how to finish and she narrowed her eyes, "Trying to what?"

She wasn't going to make this easy for him, they both knew it and he knew she had no reason to. He slowly began to walk towards her, but stopped in front of her desk, "I just thought…we said we were going to work on our friendship and this…today seemed like an important day to work on that."

"It's just a day." She said with a shrug, "Nothing special about it."

He pursed his lips, "As I told you that first birthday…it's an important day Liv. A very important day. The world became a better place when you were born…"

"You know what else you told me?" She asked, anger clearly about to win this fight, "Do you remember what you promised me that night Elliot?"

He hung his head in shame and he nodded, "I promised you you'd never celebrate a birthday without me."

"And I told you not to make promises you can't keep." She growled, "You said you'd keep it. And yet…"

He took a deep breath and took another step towards her, but she side-stepped towards her desk, "Olivia…I can keep saying I'm sorry but I can't take it back. I wish I could but I can't."

"Do you know that I sat here that night…everyone was gone. And I just sat here thinking…maybe he'll show up. Maybe he needed some space and time and I gave it to you. And maybe…just maybe he'll walk through those doors with that stupid grin and that fucking cake and sing in his terrible voice just like he promised he would." She said, tears now streaming down her face.

She saw him swallow hard, tears in his own eyes, "Olivia…"

"I just sat there, completely numb. I'd been in denial for months that you would just walk away like that. But I kept thinking it wasn't permanent. And so I asked to work late because I thought…I really thought you would have showed up." She whimpered, "And you didn't come…"

The last words came out in a broken whisper and he stood there, taking the brunt of her hurt, imagining her sitting there alone. Imagining watching her waiting for him to come in with a cake, their tradition. And it hurt all over again. Little did she know he did buy a cake, and he'd sung happy Birthday alone every year for ten years wishing he had the courage to show up. Which is why he was here now. He knew it was going to hurt but seeing her like this, hearing her finally voice her anger, her pain cut through him like a fucking knife.

"I trusted you." She whispered, "I fucking trusted you Elliot. You were the only person…you were all I had…and you just disappeared."

He walked closer to her again and she just stood there, unsure of what to say, what to do and he reached for her, "Liv…"

"I can't fucking do this." She said, shaking her head, "You need to go."

He hung his head and walked even closer, "I'm not leaving Olivia.'

"Why is it that when I want you to you won't but when I need you you're never fucking around?" She said with a laugh, "God I fucking hate you Elliot Stabler."

He sighed and stepped back this time, "Okay. I deserve that."

"I really fucking hate you." She said walking behind her desk, "You show up here with this stupid fucking cake." She said gesturing towards it, "Thinking what, that the ten years you missed would just not matter at all? That I'd forget all about it? Fall at your feet and say all is forgiven? That we can pretend that nothing ever happened?"

"No." He said with a shake of his head, "I thought it could be the start of something new…a reminder maybe of what was but also…the start of a conversation we've been avoiding."

She smirked at him, "Because you're so good at communicating Elliot. I'd say it is your strongest quality."

He sighed and walked over to her, "Hey…I'm here, aren't I? I'm making an effort."

"An effort." She tossed her bag down on the chair behind her desk and huffed, "Wow. An effort. After a decade of radio silence…how kind of you Detective."

"If you want to yell at me, just yell at me." He said quickly, "Let it all out. I deserve it."

She rolled her eyes, "Elliot…grow up."

"What is it that would make you happy here? I'll do whatever you want. You want to hit me? Go ahead. You want to scream about all the shitty things I've done and said? Go ahead. Just tell me what you want to do and I'll take it because I deserve it. I'm sorry. I'm fucking sorry. I know I hurt you and I know that-" But before he could finish his head snapped back and something gooey was hitting him in the face, "Well okay then."

Olivia put a hand over her face, shocked that she had just done what she had done. She had picked up that damn cake and thrown it right at his face, "Oh my God."

He took the cardboard plate and peeled it off of her face, the frosting dripping onto the floor, "I probably should have seen that coming…"

Her fingers fell to her lips and she laughed nervously, "Oh. My. God. Elliot…I'm…I'm sorry."

He placed what was left of the cake on her desk and shook his head, "No…I deserved that."

She started to laugh harder as she looked at him, "Elliot…I…I don't…I don't know what to say. I just…"

"You reacted." He said with a laugh, "And…I can't say I blame you." He wiped at his eyes, "I can't even imagine what I look like right now."

She snorted, the laughter filling her chest, "I can't breathe…"

He stood there, laughing with her, and it felt good, "Olivia…"

She fell back into her chair, her laughter only getting louder, "You look ridiculous!"

Still standing there, unsure of what to do or what to use to wipe the cake off, he smiled, "At least you stopped yelling for a minute…"

She wiped the tears out of the corner of her eyes and looked at him, "I hope you know I didn't plan that…"

"You were reacting out of anger and I deserved it." He sighed and then put his hands up, "Can I go wash this off now?"

She laughed harder again and stood up, "Hold on…I'm sorry…"

He stood there, waiting patiently as he heard her walking out of her office. A moment later, she came back and he turned to her, she had two towels in her hand. When she was standing in front of him, she lifted her hand and began to wipe the frosting off of him, "It was a good cake…" He whispered.

She bit her lip as she slowly cleaned him off, "Elliot…"

When the last trace of frosting was gone, he blinked down at her and saw that she was holding her breath, "I'm sorry Olivia…maybe it doesn't mean anything anymore. Maybe…it will never be enough. But I want to try. Please…please let me try."

Standing in front of him, she thought about what she had always wished for. Happiness. And she knew it was complicated. But everything about them had always been complicated. She was still sad. Still angry about a lot of things. But, she was also tired of denying herself the things she wanted. And maybe, maybe on her birthday she should be allowed to finally get her wish, even if it was going to be a bit messy, literally.

Stepping closer, she saw it, the look in his eyes that told her he was on the same page. That they were finally on the same page, whatever this meant. He met her halfway without hesitating and they kissed. Softly, quickly. She pulled back, both shocked and happy with herself, she licked her lips nervously and smiled, "You were right…it was a good cake."

He laughed and then reached out, his hands cradling her face, pulling her flush against him, "Olivia…"

She gasped into his mouth, holding onto his shirt as she leaned into him. He was walking them backwards until she hit the wall. He moaned into her mouth, taking his fill of her as she clung to him, both of them finally giving into decades of pent up tension and unsaid feelings, "Elliot…"

He took a breath, pressed his forehead against hers adn whpsiered, "I'm so fucking sorry Olivia. I never…I never meant to break that promise. I never wanted to. It just all got so fucked up…"

His eyes were closed but he still held her close, and she heard the sincerity in his voice, "El…"

"Every year I told myself…call her. But I was scared." He whispered, finally looking up at her again, "I was so afraid to face what I'd done…" He leaned in and kissed her again, "I never, ever wanted to hurt you Liv. But I know I did…and I know I can't take it back. But I'm-"

"But you're here now." She whispered, squeezing his arms, "You're here now…"

Leaning his head back he sighed, "I'm trying Liv…I'm really trying."

Her eyes were wide as she watched him and she nodded, "I know…but it's hard El. This is really fucking hard. All of this has been really hard and painful."

Stepping back, he leaned against his desk and whispered, "Tell me what to do…"

Lifting her shoulder she whispered, "El, I don't know what to do. I don't think there is an answer here. It's all messy…and it can't be fixed overnight. None of it can. There are things you don't know…that I don't know about you. Ten years is a long time to not see each other. Things have happened…that changed both of us."

"You're right." He whispered, "But…I'm not going anywhere Liv."

She raised an eyebrow at him and frowned, "Don't make promises you can't keep Elliot…"

He knew what she was referring to, the way she said it was full of emotion and sadness. It told him that there was still so much more to work through, more hard conversations that a cake in his face couldn't fix. He could walk away right now, leave this office and never look back. But that would be the cowardly thing to do. And she deserved more. So much fucking more. And more than that, he'd never forgive himself if he walked away again. Turning slowly, he reached across the desk and picked up the candle he had brought with him and the lighter. Smiling, he pressed it into the smushed cake and slowly lit the candle, "I think…this cake is a good representation of where we're at right now."

She laughed and walked towards him, "Is that so?"

Elliot nodded slowly, "It's a mess…a big old mess. But underneath…it's still good." He looked at her and whispered, "And I believe…that we can be good again. Even if I have to grovel everyday…it will be worth it." He held out the disheveled cake between them.

Her voice cracked as she spoke the next few words, "That cake isn't the only thing that's a mess…I'm a mess Elliot. I've always been a mess. But now…"

"Well…you're a beautiful mess." He whispered with a smile, "You always have been."

Her cheeks flushed and she said, "You're gonna sing aren't you…"

It wasn't a question, he nodded, "Of course I am."

She sighed and whispered, "Any chance you took singing lessons when you were in Italy?"

"No. But I can butcher it in Italian if you'd prefer?" He said with a smirk, "You let me know…I'm here to serve you Benson."

She laughed as the candle started to drip, "Elliot…"

"Happy Birthday to you…" He said walking even closer as she laughed, "Happy Birthday to you…"

She held her breath and leaned back, "Nope not any better…"

He laughed and continued, "Happy Birthday, dear Olivia…happy birthday to you." She was staring right at him and he whispered "Make a wish Olivia…"

Tears burned in her eyes but she knew what she wanted to wish for. What she'd always wished for. And she had a feeling that this was the year she just might finally get it. Closing her eyes, she leaned in, this time not bothering to say it in her head, she spoke her wish out loud, "I just want to be happy…"

His breath caught in his throat as he watched her blow out the candle, and somehow he knew it was the very thing she'd been wishing for since that first time he'd brought her a cake. And he hoped, really hoped he could finally make that wish come true. When she pulled back, he leaned in and kissed her once more, "Happy Birthday Olivia…"

And for the first time in a long time, it felt like a Happy Birthday…because he was right where he always promised to be.

Twenty minutes later, they were both sitting on the floor with the disheveled cake on the ground between them as they took bites, "This is really good…" She whispered, "I shouldn't be eating it…but it's great."

He rolled his eyes and looked over at her, "You're allowed to indulge every once and awhile Benson…"

Olivia rolled her eyes right back, "Yeah…you look like you eat a lot of sugar these days Stabler…"

He chuckled and took another bite, "I eat a lot of sugar…I just burn it off in the gym. I'd be happy to help you burn off any extra calories you're worried about." He teased and she looked at him wide eyed, "Not that you need it…" Leaning all the way in, he pressed his lips towards her ear, "You are still the sexiest woman I've ever seen, Olivia Benson." He pressed a kiss below her year, "Just in case you weren't sure…"

Chewing on her lip, she whispered, "Flattery will get you very far Detective Stabler…even if it's a bold faced lie. But thank you." She dropped her fork and looked up at him, he was still staring at her and her cheeks flushed, "What? Do I have frosting on my face?"

He smiled and shook his head, leaning in to kiss her again, "No. I just wish you saw yourself the way I do. The way I've always seen you…and I don't just mean physically." reaching out, he brushed her hair out of her face, "You're a hell of a woman Olivia. And whether you realize it or not…I treasure this day. My life would be a lot less full without you in it. Just as it was the last ten years when I celebrated this day in Italy…"

She stared at him, wide eyed, "What?"

"I bought a cake, sang terribly and ate the entire thing alone. Wallowing in my self pity." He said with a sigh, "Because I was too afraid to call you."

She swallowed the lump in her throat, "It's been a long time since I didn't hate this day…" She looked down at the locket laying over her heart, "Noah…made it better. Gave me a reason to smile but something was always missing."

He watched as she popped open the locket, "You're a wonderful Mother. Just like I always knew you would be."

"Noah said I should put another picture in it…of someone or something that was important to me." She whispered before looking up at him.

His smile grew and he asked, "Anyone in particular you have in mind?"

She sighed and leaned in, pulling him closer by his shirt, "If I get my birthday wish this year…then yeah. I have someone in mind."

Pushing the cake aside he started to pull her closer, she began to laugh again, that kind of laugh that filled his chest and ignited his soul. The sound he'd been missing for decades, "Hey Liv?"

She laughed as he tickled her and she tried to squirm out of his embrace, "Elliot…stop it."

He shook his head, stilled his fingers but held her against his lap, "Look at me for a second?"

The tone of his voice made her realize that whatever he had to say was important. She stopped, let her laughing subside for a moment and then whispered, "Yeah?"

Brushing her hair back he whispered, "I never should have left…and I know that I can't make up for it overnight. But I'm not going to stop until I keep trying." Running his fingers along the back of her neck he asked, "That okay?"

She reached out, touching his cheek, still slightly sticky from the frosting, "Yeah…that's okay." She frowned, "I can't promise I won't get angry…or we aren't going to fight about all of this. But…I think I can promise that I won't throw another cake at you?"

He laughed and leaned in to kiss her, she could taste the frosting on his lips, "Honestly I preferred it. I was expecting a right swing…"

She laughed and leaned her forehead against his, "Elliot…"

"I love you." He said quickly, tracing her lip with his finger, "You know that, right?"

Taking a deep breath she pressed her hand into his chest, "I think I'm starting to believe that…yeah."

Settling her against his chest, he smiled and kissed the top of her head, "Good. I'll keep telling you until you believe that too…"

Maybe birthdays weren't so bad afterall…at least this one wasn't. And maybe the rest of them wouldn't be either…