Chapter 12: So Close… yet so far away

Orianna P.O.V

I tensed slightly as I felt a hand rest on the top of my head and Prime sighed out loud, almost muttering to himself. ''I have wondered what it would feel like to do this,'' his fingers ran through my long locks slowly. ''I confess I have been curious about hair for quite some time.''

I raised an incredulous eyebrow against his chest. ''Really?'' I guess such things we take for granted as an everyday occurrence could possibly present as something unusual or even strangely enticing for an alien race. ''Well? What is your assessment?'' I held my breath awaiting his verdict as if it were a matter of life and death itself.

Prime's hand stilled as he considered my words. ''It feels wonderful.'' I tried to casually release the breath I had been holding. ''Soft yet almost string like, like the finest fibre optic wires and somewhat soothing to run my fingers through it.'' I felt his chest rise and fall against my face as he inhaled. But here was no heartbeat and while it was somewhat disconcerting to not hear or feel that rhythmic pulsing, the steady thrumming of what must be his spark, along with his rumbling deep voice, as they vibrated through me, sufficed enough. ''Smells nice too. Like rain, our beach, and flowers – and you.''

I coughed and fought back the crimson blush as I patted his chest. ''Ah, thanks Prime.'' I needed to change the subject. ''Umm, not to be pushy or anything but my questions? You haven't answered them?''

Prime's voice rumbled on. ''My apologies Orianna, I was distracted.'' He continued to absentmindedly stroke my hair as he spoke. ''To be honest I am not entirely sure how it is all achieved. Rachet is the one to have developed this technology, but it is basically the most advanced form of holographic imagery available. I have been able to successfully activate this holoform image for about three months now.''

I slightly raised my head; a questioning look on my face. ''But I thought holograms were only a three-dimensional image, created by photographic projection. You can't touch them,'' as if to prove my point, I ran my left hand slowly across and down his broad chest to his abdomen. ''Yet I can DEFINITELY feel you Prime.''

Prime had stiffened as my hand ran along his frame, his hand in my hair seemed to pause in its ministrations as he tightened his grip. His voice was low and husky as he replied. ''I know Orianna. I can definitely feel you too.''

My eyes shifted from his face to my hand resting against his toned abdomen. I could not help but think all that separated my hand from his bare skin was that fabric. The urge to lean forward and remove the offending shirt so I might touch him, /or better still lean down to place a trail of kisses.../.

''Orianna?'' Prime's voice, filled with curiosity though tinged with concern, broke into my lustful thoughts.

I immediately removed my hand from his abdomen, holding it aloft as I was unsure what to do with the offending appendage. ''Sorry Prime!'' I felt a familiar blush creep across my face. Lucky he couldn't read my mind!

He chuckled again and grabbed my hand placing it on his shoulder. I could feel the breath of his laugh against my hair and his fingers once again resumed their path through my tangled locks. ''It is okay Orianna. It certainly didn't hurt me. I am just not used to being touched in such a way, especially by a human female.'' His voice dropped to almost a whisper. ''And it has been millions of years since I held anyone against me in such an embrace, please, forgive me if I am doing something wrong or react in a way contrary to acceptable social norms.''

There was no mistaking whom he was talking about, and I found myself squeezing him tightly in support, which he returned. I risked raising my head to look into his face and saw a sadness in his eyes as he too seemed to be lost in memories. ''I'm so sorry Prime. I cannot imagine being without such comfort for so long.'' I smiled at him and gently brushed my left hand against his face, stirring him from his private reveries. ''Seems like as much as I needed a hug, without really knowing it, YOU may have needed it more?'' I raised my eyebrow questioningly at him.

Prime lowered his gaze to look at me, the sadness slowly fading away as a smile spread on his lips and he brought his right hand up to brush against my cheek in a mirror image to my own. ''Indeed Orianna. Once again you seem to know me better than I know myself.''

We simply sat there, eyes intensely focused on each other, hands gently caressing the other's face. A heat and an almost palpable energy seemed to fill the cabin around us, and I found myself staring at his lips, leaning ever so slowly forward.

A thoughtful look descended on Prime's face. ''I do not think I properly answered your first question Orianna, but perhaps you are best talking to Rachet on that matter as he is far more qualified than I to answer it,'' Prime removed his hand from my face and placed it in his lap as his voice rumbled on. I sat there blinking for a moment, rapidly trying to process what had almost just happened. ''In answer to your second question, why, Rachet thought that if we were going to be spending an extensive period of time here, it might make interacting with our allies, and vice versa, much easier.''

Prime shifted slightly in the seat, though his contact with me never faltered. ''He has been working on this technology for the past year, with approval from General Morshower and the various heads of Government, though it is highly confidential, very few have the clearance to know of its existence -yet.'' I took note of Prime's right arm still wrapped around me as he continued to speak. I could have sworn it was a real arm so lifelike was the image and the feel of it. ''I am currently the only Autobot with this capacity, but it is still in its prototype phase and will obviously have some issues to sort out.''

I snorted out loud as I slowly extracted myself from his embrace and sat back. I needed a bit of distance for a moment. I ran my fingers through my own hair as I laughed nervously. ''Seems to work bloody perfectly if you ask me!''

Prime smiled brightly at me. ''I am glad you approve Orianna and that it is achieving its intended function.''

I chuckled derisively as I began to pick at the seams on the backrest. '''What? Consoling distraught woman having some sort of mid-week mental breakdown?''

Prime laughed out loud and placed his large hand over mine, stilling my actions. ''No Orianna. Allowing me to interact with my friends and allies in a non-intimidating manner on their level, enter human buildings,'' he smiled at me, ''as well as provide comfort and reassurance when needed without damaging anyone.'' He continued to look at my hand against his backrest and the way my finger seemed to be dug in between the seams. ''You know, I can still feel your touch in my alt mode too Orianna.''

I gasped out loud and withdrew my hand, folding my arms across my chest. ''Jesus Prime! I'm sorry.'' I looked about his cabin sheepishly. ''I just seem to be stumbling from one disaster to another tonight, don't I?'' I bit my lower lip trying to contain my nerves. A flash of irritation coursed through me at how skittish and on edge I seemed to be around him. /Then again, he was never in the form of arguably the most attractive man in the history of forever! There is that to contend with/.

Prime shook his head slowly and that grin appeared once more as he regarded me. ''You have done nothing wrong Orianna.'' He paused a moment. ''And in my humble opinion, the only disaster tonight was the movies.''

My head snapped up in his direction and I felt an answering smile spread across my lips when I took in his expression. /He was teasing me/. I laughed as I brought my hands down and placed them in my lap. ''Ahh, yes. The movies! That was an epic disaster alright. It's been quite a few years since anyone has thrown popcorn at me..'' I paused. ''Which reminds me.'' I scrunched up my face in mild annoyance and disgust. Strewn all over the floor of Prime's cabin were pieces of popcorn, a bottle top and empty bottle of beer, and a lukewarm bottle of unopened beer.

A look of embarrassment flashed across my face as I surged forward to collect the rubbish from the floor. ''I am so sorry Prime! I have made an absolute mess of your cabin.''

I felt a strong hand on my shoulder, trying to pull me back. ''Orianna! Just forget it. Its fine.''

I continued to try and sweep the stray pieces into a pile for collection. ''It's okay Prime. Nearly done.'' I grabbed hold of the full bottle of beer.

''Orianna! Please.'' The hand on my shoulder became two and they pulled me quite forcefully away from the floor, bringing the hand that was holding the beer up suddenly. I heard a dull thud and a surprised gasp as it collided with his face.

I dropped the offending bottle and brought my hands to my face, covering my mouth to try and contain the strangled cry of shock. Prime sat there in silence, his hand gently touching his cheek where a small cut and blue liquid seemed to be trickling down. I closed my eyes. ''Oh my God Prime! I am SO sorry!'' I was shaking my head in mortification as I surged forward, reaching out to him, and placing my hands over his. ''I didn't mean to. You grabbed me and..''

Prime sat there for a moment more, tentatively touching the cut, a thoughtful look on his face. ''Hmmm. I must let Rachet know that it is possible to experience an injury in this mode.'' At my aghast expression he chuckled and continued. ''A very MINOR injury Orianna, hardly worth noting at all.''

I leaned closer to him, towards his face trying to inspect the wound myself. My hands cupped his face, titling his head towards me so I could conduct my own examination. It was, as he said, only a small cut across his cheek, and it appeared to already be healing. Still, it had been my fault that he had been hurt in the first place. I closed my eyes and sighed out loud in exasperation. ''It's my fault you got hurt Prime. I am so sorry. I would never hurt you on purpose. Please forgive me.''

A feather light touch of fingers against my face drew my attention and I opened my eyes only to find myself staring directly into a pair of vividly azure eyes that seemed to be peering right through me. I felt his ''breath'' against my face as he replied. ''There is nothing to forgive Orianna.'' His fingers gently tracked down the side of my face, coming to rest under my chin as he often did in his bi-pedal mode. I found myself smiling at the familiarity of the action and his touch. ''You didn't hurt me.'' He shook his head as he cupped my face in his hands and ran his thumb over my cheek. I suddenly became very aware of the fact I was basically straddling him. Once again that heat flared to life within me, and I barely stifled a moan at the sensations he was unknowingly eliciting in me. ''I don't think you could ever hurt me Orianna,'' and he smiled softly at me. ''I also hope you know I would never do anything to hurt you.''

I nodded as I felt my breath hitching, shallow rapid gasps as my pulse speed up. I started as his thumb brushed against my lips. I gasped and arched into his touch. ''Hmmm. Fascinating. So soft and warm compared to metal dermas.'' His voice held genuine intrigue and an almost reverent tone as if he were touching something sacred.

All at once my eyes flew open and I shoved myself away, scurrying back towards the driver's side door. ''I'm sorry Prime! I… I've got to get out… I need some..'' I fumbled with the door handle and refed it open. I was in such a rush to exit the cabin that my feet got caught on the seat and I found myself tumbling forward - falling.

''ORIANNA!'' I heard a fearful yell, and all at once, even before I could scream, I felt a strong pair of arms reach out and snake around my waist, hauling me back into the cabin and flinging me roughly onto the seat.

I landed with a thud and felt something heavy and warm press into me as I looked up into Prime's face. His body was covering mine, his eyes darted over my face as he propped himself up above me. I closed my eyes as the feeling of his body against mine enveloped me. I placed my hands on his forearms and arched up against him, desperate to feel him and desperate to get away from him. ''Prime, please!'' It was a plaintive plea.

''Orianna? What were you thinking?'' He growled at me; his face was thunderous as he looked down at me. He was totally unaware of what being in such proximity to him was doing to me, even if he was angry. ''You could have been seriously injured had you fallen!''

Once again, a sudden flash of frustrated anger tore through me and I opened my eyes, glaring up at him. His expression softened. ''Yeah, well I wasn't. As you can see, I am fine. Now get off me!'' I placed my hands on his chest and shoved him to emphasise my request.

Prime went to say something but simply nodded and removed himself from above me. As soon as I was free, I scurried back, reaching out to close the offending door and curled up against it. I wrapped my arms about myself. Prime's voice was low. ''You were not injured Orianna as I was able to save you.'' His voice dropped to a whisper as he stared intently at me from across the cabin. ''I may not be there to save you next time..''

I snorted. ''I shall remember that Prime the next time I am riding in a truck and some ''holographic man'' suddenly appears next to me and starts talking and…'' I bit my lip. I always turned to sarcasm when I was angry and upset. Whether it was with someone else or myself. This time it was myself, but I was taking it out on Prime.

Prime sighed softly in defeat, choosing to ignore my sarcastic barb. ''Just, please be careful Orianna. I could not stand it if you got hurt.''

I hung my head and fought back a sob at my own stupidity and my own fucked up predicament of falling in love within someone who had no idea I loved them. My voice was small and pleading. ''Please just take me home Prime.'' I sent him a quick, small smile. ''I think I am starting to come down with something after all. /Yeah. It's called stupidity/.

Prime leaned forward as if to reach out for me once more but refrained as he took in my tense posture. He slowly nodded his head at me, his voice low and filled with a mixture of confusion, regret, and sorrow. ''As you wish Orianna.'' He stared at me for a heartbeat more, a small, sad smile on his face which slowly faded as the hologram disappeared before my eyes.

I gasped in shock at the empty cabin. He had been so real. He had been just there. I had been able to touch him, feel him and now….. ''Orianna, please buckle yourself in.'' His voice was once again disembodied, and I started.

I nodded and slid across the seat, collecting my cardigan from the floor, before I once again resumed my position behind the steering wheel. As Prime's engine roared to life, I reached for the seatbelt and brought the cardigan up as a blanket. I felt cold inside. A strange sensation given the heat that had been coursing through my body only moments before.

Almost immediately, the heater in the cabin came on and I felt the warm air embrace me. I closed my eyes to fight back the tears that threatened to fall. /Even after how I conducted myself just now, he still thinks of me and my needs/. As Prime pulled away from the cove and back onto the road, I turned my head to look out of the window and a single tear fell from my eye and tracked down my cheek.

We drove in silence. I did not know what say to excuse my behaviour, apart from confess my feelings for him, and I am sure he had no desire to speak to such a brat. Not for the first time in my life I wish I could have a do over. /And I am sure it won't be the last!/.

Interminable moments later, Prime rolled to a stop outside my apartment. It was now well after midnight and, after the events of the evening, I was emotionally exhausted. I unclicked the seatbelt and stepped out onto the sidestep. Reaching back in I swept the offending popcorn out into the gutter and collected the offending bottle of lukewarm beer and the empty. ''Perhaps the birds might get to enjoy it,'' I chanced speaking for the first time since we left the cove, trying to keep the conversation light.

''Perhaps they might,'' was all Prime replied.

My stomach twisted in a knot at the abrupt reply. I brushed my hair behind my ear and sighed as I stepped away from the flame decaled truck, smiling in the direction of the open window. ''Well Prime, thanks for this evening. It was – interesting.''

His deep voice rumbled through the dash and the opened window, a hint of amusement in his voice. ''That is one way to put it Orianna.''

A smirk formed on my lips. ''I hope tonight's events don't deter you from taking future work-life balance breaks?'' I smiled weakly at the truck before me. ''You may, however, rethink your choice in company.'' I patted the left fender affectionately, before I turned to leave.

The deep voice rumbled to life once more. ''Never Orianna. I shall always look forward to spending time in your company.'' I felt my heart twinge in my chest, and I bit my lip as I nodded my thanks. His voice continued, a teasing, playful tone in it. ''I may, however, think twice before suggesting the movies or Turtle Cove as possible activities.''

I laughed out loud as he slowly pulled away from the curb. ''Good night Orianna. I hope you feel better soon.''

I waved. ''Good night, Prime.'' I called out to the red and blue decaled truck as it pulled away from me, leaving in its stead a cold and empty feeling inside me. /No chance of that happening any time soon I'm afraid/.

Sighing out loud, I turned and walked towards my apartment. Things had just gotten even more complicated than even I thought possible.