Author's Note: Hope you are still with me...

Chapter 32: Just like Icarus….

Orianna P.O.V

My heart stopped.

It felt as though the ground beneath me crumbled and fell away, and I was falling into a deep abyss, swallowed by darkness. My throat felt thick with the effort of choking back tears, and yet, I felt them as they prickled at my eyes. Silent, salty tracks slid down my cheeks and I closed my eyes in a bid to stem their flow. The heat that had coursed through me at his touch faded, replaced with a cold and desolate pain that ached and burned like liquid ice.

''Orianna,'' Prime's voice pleaded with me. My eyes flew open as I stared blankly at him, wrapping my arms around my waist to keep myself from falling apart. ''I am so sorry...'' Prime stepped towards me tentatively, reaching for me. His face reflected all the sorrow and pain I felt swirling inside me. But as I stood there, raw and hurting before the being I loved with all my heart, I felt more than just sorrow, pain, and fear.

I felt anger begin to burn within me.

''Orianna! Please, let me..'' My head snapped up towards him, my eyes narrowing as I held a hand up in silent warning before me. I took another step back from him, a baleful expression on my visage. One pair of haunted eyes gazed into another as I recalled all the caresses, how he held me that first night he appeared in his holoform, how reverently he touched my lips and my face and seemed to respond to my touches. My heart ached as I remembered the night, he comforted me while I was sick, carried me to bed and held me as I fell asleep. I gritted my teeth as the anger grew, fanned by the flames of humiliation. /Lies. It was all lies/.

I watched as Prime's hands clenched and unclenched by his sides as he shifted from foot to foot, his eyes never leaving mine. A strangled sob worked its way from my mouth, and I quickly rose a hand to stifle it as I recalled how he reacted that day I kissed his cheek at the firing range. I felt the heat between us, the way his breath hitched as our bodies touched. Even tonight, moments ago, he seemed jealous at the thought I preferred spending time with Lennox over him. /And he returned my kiss, if only for a moment. Why do that if all you feel is care towards another?/.

I glared at him as I lowered my hand and gathered myself up to my full height. My voice was surprisingly strong and clear as I took a step towards him. ''Why?''

''Orianna, forgive me, I do not understand your question. Why what?'' he looked pleadingly at me.

I took another small step towards him and another. ''Why did you kiss me back tonight?'' A look of shame washed over his face as I advanced towards him. ''Why did you react the way you did at the firing range that day when I kissed your cheek?'' I took another step until I was an arm's length away from him. My eyes burned angrily up at him as I poked him in the chest. ''Why the hell did you act in a way all this time that gave me.. '' Another sob broke free as I folded my arms across my chest tightly and glowered at him, releasing a shaky breath as I finished my sentence, ''...gave me hope to believe that you loved me?''

Prime exhaled slowly. ''Orianna,'' he reached for me yet again and I bristled. He briefly closed his eyes as a shadow of pain flittered across his face. ''There are no words to express how incredibly sorry I am to see you in pain and worse of all, to know I am the cause of it.'' He shook his head. ''I never meant to hurt you..''

I snorted derisively as I glared at him, ''Could have bloody well fooled me!''

Prime's shoulders slumped slightly at my words, though he tried to ignore my barb, ''and I thought I could never do so, but I see so utterly clearly now that I have. And for that I will forever and always be sorry Orianna.'' He blinked his eyes as he took a small step towards me. ''But please, you must believe me when I say to you it was not consciously done, and everything I have said to you Orianna, I have meant and came from my spark..''

I laughed almost manically as anger, agony and embarrassment jockeyed for poll position. ''Yeah! I know. You ''CARE'' for me so very deeply. More than anyone else!''

''Orianna, I DO..'' Prime tried to step towards me again.

''BULLSHIT PRIME!'' I snarled at him through gritted teeth, and he froze on the spot. I shook my head and began to pace about in agitation, my chiffon dress swirling about me as I turned quickly. ''If you had cared about me, you should have just shoved me away from you when I first uttered those offensive words to you,'' I glowered at him as my eyes pinned him with a judgmental gaze, ''saved me making a bloody fool of myself..''

Prime's voice rose in frustration as he stepped towards me and grabbed my arm, halting my frenzied pacing. ''I did not shove you away Orianna as I was processing your unexpected declaration and I did not want to hurt you..'' I opened my mouth to retort sarcastically when Prime's voice rose again, denying me the chance. ''And they were NOT offensive words Orianna, far from it. I was, and still am, incredibly humbled that you sought fit to honour me with your affections and give me your heart.'' His eyes shone brightly down at me for a moment, and his grip weakened as he only just refrained from reaching out to touch my face. ''A heart I had never thought could feel that way about a spark such as mine.''

Prime's mouth worked silently as his face contorted in torment. He released my arm and stepped back away from me, running his hand through his hair, seemingly in frustration. ''A heart I have no business steaking any claim to, save for friendship. A heart that should not want to seek to win my spark.''

I flinched at his words and once again wrapped my arms around myself as I felt tears sting my eyes again. I knew what he was about to say, and I steeled myself to hear it out loud, from his lips.

He shook his head sadly, his voice held the smallest amount of disapproval, though his eyes did not reflect this. They held something else within them. An emotion I could not quite place, though I now knew it could not be love. /As long as it wasn't pity! That I could not stand!/. ''Orianna, you are a human woman, and I am a Cybtertonian mech. And, despite the holoform, we are of two vastly different species. Although we are both capable of romantic love, it should not, cannot be towards each other.'' He looked beseechingly at me. ''Surely, you must have had this thought too? Surely you must now understand that a lasting romantic relationship could not work between..''

''Please! Prime!'' I hung my head, nodding numbly as I raised a hand in silence, entreating him to stop speaking. My voice quivered as I fought back a fresh wave of tears. ''Enough. I get it.'' I spied my shoes in the sand and bent to pick them up. He still had not told me why he kissed me tonight but in truth, it didn't matter. I didn't have the heart to hear his explanation, whatever that may be. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. All at once Jazz's words echoed through my mind, ''There is a very good chance that Prime, as much as he cares deeply for ya, may not see ya tha way ya want him to. Are ya prepared for that?'' Apparently, I was not and had not prepared for that eventuality. In my mind, that was never an option.

Prime watched me silently until I started to walk away from him, back towards the tree line. ''Orianna?'' He began to walk after me, his hand reaching imploringly for me. ''Please! Don't leave like this. Stay, talk to me.''

I half turned to face him, a small, sad smile on my face. ''Talk about what Prime? There is nothing more to say to each other on the matter. You've made it perfectly clear how you feel. I KNOW how I feel.'' I looked to the heavens for a moment, trying to draw whatever strength and solace I could from them. ''Look, I screwed up. I saw something I perhaps wanted to be there but turns out it never was.'' I shook my head, a rueful smile spreading on my lips. ''My mistake.'' I sniffed in a rather undignified manner as the last vestiges of my control began to crumble. ''It won't happen again.''

Prime's voice rumbled softly. ''Orianna, I want so much to be able to give you what you need from me. Primus how I wish I could,'' he looked imploringly at me, ''but I just can't! Please try to understand..''

I sniffed back my tears and took a deep, steadying breath and waved my hands at him to once again stop speaking on the matter. /Hold it together just a little while longer OC/. ''S'fine Prime, I got it.'' /Talking of wishes, might as well tell him/. I took a few more steps towards the trees before I called back to him. ''Want to know what I wished for earlier tonight?''

He nodded his head, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. ''I do, but don't tell me, it won't come true Orianna.''

Tears began to track silently down my cheeks as I bit my lower lip firmly and shook my head. ''Doesn't matter Prime. It didn't come true.'' I smiled weakly at him as my lips trembled. ''I wished that you might love me as much as I love you Prime. That you would see me..'' I brought my hand up to stifle the gut-wrenching sob of pain that lingered on my lips. Breathing deeply several times, I sniffed back tears as the final words tumbled out of my mouth in an agonising exhalation, ''...in the same way I saw you.''

Prime's whole body seemed to crumple in on itself, as though he had just been mortally wounded. His face turned ashen as he simply stared at me through sunken and hollow eyes.''Orianna...'' His voice was a tortured whisper, my name both an address and an apology. Though we were standing only metres apart, in this moment, the distance between us was immense – /literally worlds apart/.

I shook my head to physically try and rid myself of the forlorn image before me as my heart broke into a million pieces. I had leapt. And for a few glorious moments I flew, before I well and truly crashed and burned. /Just like Icarus/. I was but a mangled and twisted wreck of flesh surrounded by bloodied feathers. I had dared to reach for the sun, had tried to claim its brilliance, its warmth, its light for my own and I had paid the price.

I turned and ran. I did not look back.