Kate Whistler packed up her life again, for the millionth time in her life and this time she was moving toward the place she hoped to be her forever home. DC has been her home for last three years and she was ready now to leave it. She was ready to leave all the bad memories she had of that place and she really needed that fresh start. She hoped Hawaii would provide her with that clean slate she needed. Past few years have been very hard on her. She accepted the job in DIA and at first she had her wife's support and understanding with the work hours and job she had, but a year into her contract, her wife got the offer she dreamed of and decided to take the job. Kate knew her wife was not happy in DC but she also knew she made a commitment to that job and she believed that her work is important and of great meaning. No one could deny that she was amazing at what she was doing and when it came to Katherine Whistler, no one would be surprised to see her as a head of DIA or some other intelligence agency. She had all the means to climb the lather and be a boss one day. She and her wife had many arguments about the job and move, but somehow they always ended not agreeing on what should have been done. They both believed they were right and that the other one should support the decision they made. Arguments were the same for days. When Kate was sure she won it, she was in for a big surprise.

One day she came home and found a letter from her wife telling her that she is moving for the job and that she should join her if she loved her. Kate was angry with her wife. Lately, when they argued, she would always mention that she lived last decade for her and doing things, she wanted to do. She transferred to Northwestern for her, she moved to Boston for Kate's masters and PhD at Harvard, and she did nothing for her. Kate did want to follow her wife, but she was hurt and angry, so she didn't. Almost two years later, she came across the position in the DIA that was based in Hawaii and she sent her application and got the job in a matter of hours after sending it. It was a lower position to what she had in DC, but office in Hawaii knew they should hire her right away. She packed up their apartment and shipped everything to Hawaii. Her mother and mother in law took charge of arranging everything for her in Hawaii. Yes, her mother in law. Apparently neither Kate or her wife bothered to inform their parents that the status of their marriage was unknown. After few months of silence, Kate started to expect divorce papers to come her way, but they didn't. Her wife was not taking her calls but she also was not doing anything to end their ties legally. So, not telling their parents the truth about the marriage was maybe the only thing they agreed, silently. Their parents had friends everywhere so they knew who to hire to take care of everything for Kate. She tried to talk to her wife and inform her of the job and her move, but she didn't take her calls. She texted that they needed to talk, but never got the response.

Two weeks after taking the job, she has finally arrived to the island. Driver was waiting of her at the airport and has driven her to the house. Few years ago, her in-laws bought the house for the young couple to vacation in and now she was moving in alone. House she was moving in now was in some architectural magazine and her mother in law fell in love with it and bought it for her and her wife. At the time they lived in DC and didn't really think about having steady holiday home. They were still very young and regardless of being married for some time, they knew babies were not in the cards for them at that time or some near future. They were still in that phase of life when they were drunk on their love and adventures family money was providing them. They traveled to some places that were hard to find on the map and where they had no cell signal. They slept in houses made of mud in Africa, they were sleeping in Vietnam in something that looked as cocoon hanging from the tree, they had crazy adventures and having a fancy house in Hawaii was not their cup of tea. Her mother in law was very insisting and telling them that travel habits change once you have children and that it was a perfect place to take vacations as a family.

Driver put the code in and they entered the property. A very pleasant woman opened the house door. She was local and her name was Lani. She would come three times a week with her girls and clean the house and stock the fridge. She just asked Kate to leave her the list in the kitchen and leave the money for the groceries. Her parents took care of paying for her and daughters to clean and cook if Kate needed it, so she didn't have that expense.

''Mrs…''

She didn't know how to call her new employee. Lani knew she had two last names, but she was not sure if she used them both.

''Please, call me Kate.'

''Kate…''

She smiled at Lani encouraging her to say what she wanted.

''House is cleaned up, your boxes are unpacked and we left those you marked for us not to open. Everything is where you wrote it should be. We stocked your fridge and your father sent some men to take care of security of the house. On your desk in a closed envelope you have all the codes and numbers that are important. Your father said that the driver is at your disposal if you want or need him and if you insist of going places alone, to at least let him know from time to time that you are safe and well.''

''Thank you Lani.''

''Do you need me to stay and make you something to eat?''

''No, thank you… I will take some time to rest and keep unpacking and preparing for work things I have tomorrow.''

''We will come on Wednesday around ten to do the cleaning and shopping if you need. Have a nice day and welcome to Hawaii.''

''Thank you.''

Lani left and Kate went outside. From the backyard, there was beautiful view to the ocean and in front of her was big infinity pool she used to love. She and her wife had many steamy moments in it and now she was here alone. In all honesty, she had many beautiful memories in this house and she felt better here than she felt in DC.

She went upstairs to the master bedroom and when she entered it, she was hit with the smell of lavender. Her mother in law told Lani how much she loved it, so, the other woman did everything to make Kate's welcome just as she needed. She took a seat on her side of the bed and looked at the opposite side her wife used to occupy. She saw few boxes in the corned and got up to unpack them. First thing she got out was their wedding picture. They were nineteen and they looked incredibly happy and in love. Kate could get lost in those beautiful eyes every time her wife just looked at her. She remembered being so excited and nervous. They eloped and Noah was with them. He was in his dress uniform and Kate was in beautiful white dress with her wavy hair down and taken back with baby breath in her hair and bouquets. Her wife was in white suit and her hair was in a bun with few strands framing her face. They didn't see Noah taking the picture, they were too lost in the fact they just got married. Aside from the fact that they got married in secret, without any celebration or press coverage, her mother in law went crazy when she realized that on Kate's finger was her mother in law's ring. It was Tiffany ring and still very modern and expensive. It was white gold band with square cut diamond with small diamonds on the band. With it, Kate had very discreet diamond band and her wife choose white gold plain wedding ring. Family had many expensive piece of jewelry so none of them expected that much noise after they saw the ring. Then her mother in law explained what was the issue. That was a ring, traditionally given to the women who enter the family. It was expected from one of the sons to propose with it, not daughter. But since they loved Kate, the fuss didn't last long. Kate has given to her wife the ring that was her great-aunt's. White gold with square cut emerald and two small diamonds on the side. Picture was black and white so many details were lost, but their smiles and the glow was impossible to ignore. She placed the picture on the dresser across from the bed. She took some more pictures out and placed them beside that picture. There were few more pictures of two of them before and after the wedding. They looked so happy and in love and she wondered what really happened to them. She looked at her left hand and her rings were still in place. She wondered if her wife used hers or not. She wondered are they in some jewelry box forgotten and if she ever thought about them as much as Kate does. Finally, it was time for a picture she loved the most. It was black and white photo of Noah holding her as a baby. She was three days old, dressed in some ridiculous outfit and he was holding her and looking at her with so much love and adoration. She was his favorite person in the world and it was the same for her. Noah was her rock and best friend. Siblings used to (over)share everything that was happening in their lives. His deployments were the hardest on Kate. She always feared he might not come back, and as it turned out, she was right. She saw him off smiling and alive and got him back in a coffin with a flag over it. Not worth it, so not worth it. Beside Noah, she had another brother. His name was Franklin and he was adopted few years before she was born. He was a son of one of the men general Whistler, her father, served with and he lost his wife and then he got shot at the practice, so Whistlers took him in and he was raised as one of them. Their family pictures were always so funny to them because Whistlers were very bright skinned and blond and Franklin was black, very black. His father was second generation of emigrants from Kenya and his mother was also stunning African queen, but the family was not really sure where she came from. Franklin's dad was still in morning and it was hard to speak of her. General Whistler believed she was Nigerian and later they found some proof of it when Frank grew up and showed interest in his biological parents. He loved Whistlers and never felt like he was any different than Kate or Noah to their parents, but he wanted to know about his mom and dad and if he had some family alive in the US or where they came from. When Kate was born, he was very smitten by her. He and Noah took care of their little baby sister and threatened to chase away all the boys who come near her. Little did they know that their baby sister would have no interest in boys. Growing up they teased her that she was a book worm and didn't know how to have fun. Since they were military brats, her father made sure that his children are good example. Boys went to different sports, Kate went to ballet and piano classes and all three of them went to dance classes and language lessons. By the age of sixteen, Kate was fluent in French, Spanish, Italian, Russian, Arabic and even Latin. She danced beautifully and she was amazing piano player. Since boys were seven years older than her, when she started dating, two of them were already at West point and sure they would be deployed somewhere. Noah took legal studies as his major and Frank took mechanical engineering. Kate could see Frank as engineer or architect since he was crazy about his Legos and always building something. On the other hand, she didn't see Noah in anything legal or even army related. No matter how hard he tried, he could never be like their dad or Frank. Watching two of them, Kate realized that some men really have military in the blood. Their posture, their practicality, way of thinking…it was never Noah. And when the news of his death came, she was not surprised. From the moment he enlisted, she expected him to come back dead. Before he left, he promised Kate that it was his last deployment. She believed him, but later she realized that word ''last'' had many meanings.

She put the photo back and went to the bathroom. She washed her face and got undressed. She wanted to take a shower and change into something more comfortable. Huge walk in closet was connected to the bathroom and at first Kate was a bit surprised to see that the other side of the closet was filled too. Her wife's things remained in the apartment and instead of being shipped to her, they ended up at Kate's house and whoever was arranging the closet, put them in. Kate took one of the shirts, it still smelled like her. All the things smelled of jasmine, Shalimar and Kashmir. Those were her favorite perfumes and fabric softener. Even now Kate had it in the laundry room. Some habits were hard to break. She put the shirt back on the hanger and went to her side of the closet. She took sweatpants and her college shirt and pulled her hair in a messy bun. She picked up her phone and turned off the light. She went downstairs to the office and plugged her computer. She was expecting some emails about her coming to work tomorrow. As soon as her computer was on, she got notifications on her phone that the emails she was waiting for were there. She opened them and started reading. Tomorrow at nine she was expected to show up at the Pearl Harbor. There was phone number of the person who had her credentials and she was supposed to call him and arrange meeting. It was the number of DIA Officer Richards. She was junior officer and it was her job to show Kate around the base. They agreed to meet in a small café close to Kate's house in an hour. Kate change into something more work appropriate. DIA officer Richards was young and Kate noticed she was a bit nervous. She kept playing with her engagement ring and Kate found it cute in a way. She remembered her beginnings and how nervous she was around officers with more experience than her.

''DIA Officer Richards?''

''Yes?''

She looked at Kate and got nervous.

''DIA Officer Whistler… Pleasure to meet you… I mean, I am honored to meet you. I've heard so many good things about you. Director Philips is very glad to have you.''

''Thank you.''

Kate took a seat and they ordered a drink. Both of them stuck to mineral water and Kate was studying young woman sitting across from her. She was in her twenties, some medium height; she had dark chocolate hair in a very neat bun and very interesting blue eyes. She was white, looked like she came from middle class family, she had good education. Her engagement ring was not very fancy and it didn't look very new, so Whistler concluded it was a high school sweetheart that popped the question. She was also sure that officer Richards loved the person who gave her the ring since it was her crutch now when she was nervous. She handed Whistler a big white sealed envelope and she put it in her bag.

''Director Philips said you will find here everything you might need in first few days. Your credentials and some documents you have to sign are there. He asked me to tell you to check it all out tonight and if something needed to be changed, you could do it tomorrow in the HR office.''

Kate thanked her and smiled at her to get her to relax.

''I am so excited to learn from you. I've seen your resume…well… the redacted version…and I must say it is impressive.''

''Thank you. I am sure we will learn a lot from one another. I may know the job, but you know the people and I am very interested in your view on things. You are still young and not tainted with the shoptalk. I want to know how you see office and work ethic here.''

''For now, we are working pretty well and do not have many conflicts in our own agency or with the others. There is a NCIS team we have clashes with from time to time, but I am sure that Director Philips will soon brief you on them. I don't know much about them, but what I do know is that they are not fans of our Agency or red tape we have on many things they want to learn. I would not be surprised if you get to work with them.''

''And why is that?''

''You are new, ruthless and if I can speak freely, you don't take shit from anyone.''

That got Kate to laugh.

''Well, that is true…in many cases I don't but sometimes even I have to take shit from people.''

''I am sure you do, but much less than us on the bottom of the food chain.''

''We all started there.''

''I know, but it's hard sometimes to get scolded without instructions or advice how to fix your mistakes. I worked with few senior agents. I am more of an errand girl and they are more bosses than mentors.''

''I promise to correct that. At least when it comes to us.''

Whistler took a sip of her water and looked at the young officer again.

''Since we are out of work… What is your name?''

''Hellen…''

''Nice to meet you Hellen, I am Kate.''

Other women smiled at her too.

''I know that at work we have to be formal and everything, but here, tonight I think we can skip that part. I am not yet officer you have to shadow and your work hours are over, so we can at least for tonight leave Whistler and Richards to rest and have drink as Kate and Hellen.''

Other woman nodded and kept playing with her ring.

''You have a very beautiful ring.''

Hellen smiled and blushed.

''Not as beautiful as yours.''

''Thank you… It is beautiful.''

''How long have you been married?''

Whistler looked at her hand and then at the young officer across from her. How long? Should she count those almost two years since her wife left?

''Long… Very long for the age I am.''

''When did you get married?''

''I was nineteen… Well, we both were. And we eloped.''

''That sounds very romantic.''

Kate blushed.

''It was… At that moment it was all we wanted and we were so happy.''

''Your husband must be a very lucky person when you have such a big smile when you speak of the wedding…''

Whistler didn't correct her. She was not ashamed of her sexuality, but she never really had a need to talk about it. If someone asked if she were gay, she would have said yes, but she never really spoke fist about it.

''And what about you?''

''We are engaged for three years.''

''Are you getting married soon?''

''I don't know. My fiancée is in the Navy and you never know with their schedules or where they would end up.''

Kate understood. She was very aware of how it looked to live with someone who was serving. Her dad, her brothers…all too familiar.

''I have people who served in the family. I know it's hard, but after some time, even that becomes part of your every day life. You worry about them somewhere in the back of your head and do your job. And it helped me think about them when I started my job. How me protecting the intelligence is the way of protecting people's lives.''

''I never taught about it in such a way.''

''It helped me stay focused.''

After they were done with their drinks Kate went home and straight to her office. She opened the envelope and found her new credentials, key to her office and few documents she had to sign. There were some confidentiality contracts she had to sign but what surprised her were two contracts that were written for her and her wife. They both had to sign them. It was about confidentiality again. She was not allowed to share information with her wife and her wife was not allowed to exploit the marriage to get more information than DIA was giving. She was not allowed to use Whistlers credentials or codes she was given.

Seeing her wife's name in print was…hard. It looked like now they had to talk and had to make sure this is done properly and would not clash with their work. She signed all she had to and in a different folder she placed documents for her wife. It looked as she would have to find her tomorrow and get this out of the way. She had no idea how it would go for them, but she was sure it would not be easy. She was very nervous about all this, especially the possibility for them to work together. She didn't really think about that. What if they don't fix their marriage? What if they end it and have to see each other often? Did her wife move on? Was she seeing someone? She had so many questions, but she also knew that maybe she was not allowed to thing like that about her anymore. She never showed up when her wife told her where she was going. Maybe she should have sent DIA to hell and moved with her wife. There were too many maybes and what ifs on her mind. Sleep didn't come easy to her so she had a glass of wine by the pool. Night was beautiful and chilly. Seeing stars and hearing the silence and sounds of ocean and nature was huge change from DC. She had a feeling that she would love living here… no matter what happens to her marriage.

She sent few messages to her that they had to talk, but as usual, there was no answer. At some point she gave up and went upstairs to bed.

Lucy was at Jessie's house having dinner with him, his wife and another woman he tried to set her up with. It was a disaster and Lucy was shocked he believed that Amanda and she would be a fit. She was their neighbor and a schoolteacher. She was recently divorced and shared two kids with her wife. She was slave to the nine to five routine and she loved her quiet and simple life. She was very beautiful, but they had nothing in common aside from the fact that they were both into women. After she left, Heather cleared the table and left the dining room for Lucy to destroy her husband. She told him not to do it and he kept doing it so this time she would let Lucy tear him a new one.

''I told you not to set me up.''

''I know, but she is really nice and I was sure that two of you would hit it up.''

''Why? You know it takes more than liking women for two people do have something, even casual sex. I am pretty sure she is not interested in anything casual.''

''She might be.''

''She is mom… She is not the type to be casual. I am sure she was not even before the marriage.''

''Why are you so against dating?''

''I just don't feel like it.''

''So, what? You want something casual?''

''I don't know what I want, but I do know I don't want you to set me up with people. Please…''

He didn't say he would stop, but Lucy hoped he would. They went out to his back deck and he got them new cold beers. Lucy took a seat and just looked at the new flowers Heather planted.

''I don't get you Lucy. You are beautiful, funny, interesting and yet…so closed off… What is stopping you from dating and finding someone?''

''I just… I can't… My last relationship…''

''Something happened?''

''Our work happened… We both chose our jobs.''

''How long were you together?''

Lucy took a sip of her drink.

''Too long to remember life before her. And that is the problem. I feel like I didn't have life before her and after I moved here, I don't know how to have it without her. I am good at what I do. I know my job and I love working with all of you… But this… Being opened for something new or about myself… I really don't know how to do it.''

''You'll get there. It is clear that there is still something holding you back. Maybe it's not your ex, but yourself. Like, you are not letting yourself be happy if it's not with her. Do you feel guilty for the split?''

''It's complicated.''

''Did you cheat?''

''No…''

''Did she?''

''No, she didn't…''

''Did you stop loving each other?''

''I am not sure… But what I am sure of is that we did let each other go and now we both have to live with the consequences of our choices.''

''Do you think you will see her again?''

''I did at first… I hoped she would reach out, but I lost all the hope after some time. We haven't spoken in years.''

''Did you reach out? Did she?''

''A few times, but I don't know what to say to her…so I don't answer.''

''Maybe you should? People surprise you.''

''We are not much into surprises.''

''If you say so…''

Lucy soon left Jessie's house and went back to her apartment. She lived there for some time now, but she still didn't feel like she was at home. It was pretty small place and she didn't have many things in it. She had what she believed to be necessary. Few changes of clothes, some books, shoes and few pictures she brought from home when she moved here. They were hidden in her closet. She haven't looked at them for a long time. Now she poured herself a glass of whiskey and put few ice cubes in it. She got one of many photos with her ex and just looked at it.

Why was she calling and texting after all this time?